01x117 - Episode 117

[bunniefuu]

-Mmm.
-Hey, Mama.

[Leslie chuckles]

Hello, beautiful. How are you?
Look at you.

So pre-- Ooh.

Mama, you don't need to wear
all the haute couture

like it's a competition.

Never heard of ladies who lunch?

Well, we are those ladies.

Yeah, well, we used
to make fun of those ladies.

Yeah, because we never thought
we could be them.

That's not why.

Just please try not to
spend it all in one week, okay?

I'm a one-percenter,

and you are the heir
to two fortunes, baby.

You are a princess
and I am a queen.

-Okay, Your Highness.
-Yes.

Okay, so next time we'll have
a proper tea somewhere fancy.

Oh, and those little sandwiches

on Bridgerton
do always look good.

-Yes.
-But are they secretly bland?

And are rich people
just fronting?

Let's find out.

And we could raise
our tea glasses

to Miss Barbara.

And to our sugar mama
Anita Dupree.

Oh, hello, love.
How'd it go with Kendal?

Oh, he wants me to do a
guest lecture for his new class.

Good. This generation
could use your wisdom.

Oh, stop fluffing me up, woman.
What's going on?

Nicole and Kat have been
in there for a good hour.

Well, Kat's resilient.

We'll be there for both of them.
How's my wife doing?

Disappointed I let
that woman push my buttons

and I suddenly became
the "b*tch-slap first,

think later" type.

You waited all these years
to get some peace about Barbara,

and just the second
you could breathe,

you find out that the trust
that you had established

has been passed on
to your daughter's worst enemy.

Come on, even the grace
personified Anita Dupree

would crack under that.

Anita Dupree does not crack.

And we can say her name.

Leslie is not
the bogeyman or Satan.

Nicole might not agree.

Have you had a chance
to tell her?

Oh, we'll tell her together.

No guilt.

That woman attacked you
in your own home,

and you fought back.

Have we strayed so far
off the path

that we condone violence now?

No.

But we'll never be
unprepared again.

We're on the offensive.

That's not a speech.
That sounds like a plan.

That contract binds us

to a woman who set herself
against us.

Plans must be made.

Well, please share.

I am completely calm.

No more slaps.

Don't make promises
you can't keep.

♪ ♪

I just wanted a few more minutes
where you didn't know.

But I can't risk you finding out
from anybody but me.

You're not sick, are you?

In a way.

I'm sick of all of this
back and forth with your father.

We're getting a divorce.

TED: Neph.

How can you look more miserable

than the last time
I saw you, hmm?

Maybe because your pickleball
outfit is blinding me.

Hey, man has to find
endorphins where he can.

Nurse Ashley still
keeping you guessing?

Nope.

I know exactly why

she can't get away
from me fast enough.

She walked in on me and Dani
and thought we were about to...

I thought you'd hit pause
on Dani to see

where you stood with Ashley?

-Yeah, I did, but she...
-Hey, no judgement.

Getting out of something casual
can be... sticky.

It wasn't at all sticky,
Uncle Ted.

I was comforting Dani,
and I put on the brakes.

I tried to explain that
to Ashley, but she was done.

There is so much wrong
with this picture.

Not you, you're hella fine.

But you seeking advice
from your uncle?

-Say it ain't so.
-Dani, come on.

I just don't want you to end up

with a long-lost secret
love baby who is shockingly good

at dressing wounds
and changing catheters.

I do miss
your razor-sharp wit, Dani.

You know Nicole
doesn't need a dime,

but I do know a designer
who can melt down

your pickleball trophy and make
it into something real pretty

after the settlement.

-Andre.
-Yeah.

Call me later, all right?

-Hang in.
-Yeah, thanks.

-Dani.
-Scum.

Do you ever
dial it down a notch?

with Ted or in general?

-Oh, with-with Uncle Ted.
-Never.

You weren't actually
seeking advice

from that cheater, were you?

Uncle "Can't Keep It
in His Pants" is your love guru?

-Mm-mmm.
-Uh, what are you doing?

Righting a wrong.
Put this on my tab.

We're jumping in my Maserati
and driving to my place.

And what happens there?

Relax, tiger.
Not everything in the world

needs to be solved with sex,
even the way we do it.

I was offended just now.

You can talk to your uncle about
whatever's got you twisted,

but you can't talk to me?

No way.

You're getting
a divorce for real?

I am.

It's been a long time coming.

Now, whatever you're feeling--

sad, mad, angry-- it's all okay.

Mm, all of the above.

I'm so sorry, Kat.

It's not your fault.

Do you know...

that, growing up,
everybody wanted to hang

at our house because Martin
and I had the cool parents?

[both laugh]

-We just had the good snacks.
-Mm-mmm.

We had you and dad separately,
but you were also, like,

this entity-- "mom and dad."

The ones that took care of us,

that made us into who we are.

And you were so in love.

It-it washed all over
everyone else.

You made us feel
so loved all the time.

I hate that it was a lie.

I hate it for Martin and me

and I hate it for you.

Baby, no couple is perfect.

And I did myself
and you a disservice

by serving up that fairy tale.

If it wasn't real...

-...is love real?
-Oh, baby, love is so real.

Your father and I were
so very real until we weren't.

Until he...

I am not gonna tear him down.

I will never forgive him
for what he did to you.

But you will always love him,

and I am not gonna
take him away from you.

Well...

you can vent about
the other elephants in the room.

Pardon?

Well, you wouldn't be facing

the big D
if it weren't for the Leslie

and her little evil spawn.

You do know that I am starting
to let go of my anger for Eva.

And I will never
understand that.

Leslie damn near
ruined that girl,

just like she helped
ruin my marriage.

I am putting your dad in
my rear view one day at a time.

But that woman--
at night, when I go to sleep...

-Nightmares?
-[scoffs]

I dream about Leslie
getting what's coming to her,

and I'm not the one
delivering the blow.

You remember when Anita
was on the reunion stage

and she got all cryptic
about what she owed Barbara?

The Duprees don't do guilt

the way regular people
do guilt, baby.

They supersize it.

And now you're the one who...

This is crazy.

Wait, do the Duprees know
you're Barbara's heir yet?

Oh, I can still feel
the sting of Anita's

badly-manicured hand
across my precious cheek.

Oh, Mama, what did you do?

Me?

I've met Anita Dupree, okay?
She doesn't ruffle.

Karma is the b*tch,
so I don't have to be. Hm?

Ah, it's for me.

-Dana Leslie Thomas.
-Confirmed. And you must be...

-Here from Dabney Law
regarding the trust.
-Yes. Okay.

-Identification?
-Uh...

Absolutely.

Thank you for meeting me.

-Your initial disbursement.
-Oh.

Thank you so much.

-Pleased to be of service.
-Pleased to be served.

Okay, okay.

Is the solution worth the cost?

That's yet to be determined.

But we've seen
what Leslie Thomas can do

with no resources.

God only knows what
she'll do when she's armed

to the teeth
with all your money can buy.

Am I making the call?

All right, I am all yours, but
we do have to watch the clock.

Tonight, my baby girl
is making fashion history.

Yeah, I'm taking pictures
for the launch, remember?

Hey, we can just skip
the whole Call Her Daddysession

-and just...
-Oh, no, you don't.

I had to watch you court
that quaint nurse,

which was less interesting
than the least interesting

season of any
medical drama ever.

And now you're trying
to shut me out

of the plot twist
like I'm some extra?

You are certainly not
a background player.

Mm. What, did you run out
of the good stuff?

Straight club soda.
You had two drinks at the club.

You're counting my drinks?

I don't want you
to turn into me.

Come on.
Talk to me, Andre.

Don't take this part of us away.

What part?

The part where we're completely
naked with each other.

The truth and nothing but.

Okay. Be careful
what you wish for.

Just drop your boxers,
metaphorically speaking.

Okay, um...

Ashley doesn't want
to be with me anymore

because she saw me with you,

in my apartment the other night,

and she thought we were gonna be
the other kind of naked.

I hate to leave Mom like this.

I've never seen her so...

Sad?

Messy.

Well, I would be more worried
if she wasn't.

But you need to focus
on this dazzling enterprise

you started with your cousin.

We artists
must celebrate our wins.

Chelsea's the artist, not me.

Every girlboss alive's
an artist and a mother.

You birthed your dream
into life.

Now, get to mothering.

You have a million things to do.

A million and one.

But get your cute self
back here in time

for the family toast.
And Kat?

Promise me you'll call

when the sad hits.

I want to spoil you
with all your favorite things.

That's why we love you
the best, Gran.

Oh!

You love me the best
because I'm fabulous.

It's a trait that's passed down
to all Dupree women,

and I can't wait to see
you and Chelsea shine.

Bye, Gran.

[door closes]

How did she seem to you?

Bruised, but braving it.
Like her mother.

The only thing worse
than seeing your child hurt

is being the one
to bring the bad news.

Oh, Mother.

What is it now? Who is it now?

It's all of us, I'm afraid.

[doorbell rings]

Damn it. I wanted
to get this out first.

Vernon.

Bill.

Of course you're invited
to whatever fresh hell this is.

Come on, Nicole.
This is a tale as old as time.

The Duprees find themselves
in a bind and they call me.

Sweetheart.

This is about Leslie Thomas.

This is the first payment,

and then the checks
are gonna keep coming,

forever and ever. Amen.

But, Mama, the reason
rich people are rich

is because they're careful
with their money.

Baby, I've been making moves

a really long time.

All to get us
where we're supposed to be.

But this isn't that.

Look at where we are now.

So, no big moves?

I'm going to deposit this check,

and I'm going to take
a little me

and a little you money out
as cash back.

And what are you gonna do
with your "me money"?

I'm finally zipping the lip
on that little voice

in the back of my head.

The one that whispers to me in
the grocery store and tells me,

"Put that back."

The one that's kept me outside

of the department store windows,

telling me

not to try that on,

not to look at it,
not to touch it,

not to even dream about it.

I'm not listening
to her anymore.

That little voice
wasn't you, Mama.

-It was me.
-Yeah.

Well, I need you
to give her a rest, okay?

I'm good. No policing needed.

But you know
the money's money, not magic.

Yeah, we'll see.

Oh, wait.

I think I hear the bank
calling my name.

Yes. On the way.

I'm going to deposit this check.

And...

-I-I can come with.
-Uh, no, no, mm-mmm, no.

It's okay. I have some things
I need to handle

that have been
a long time coming.

-Love you.
-Love you too.

Ciao.

Yeah, and I'd be the biggest a*s
in the world

if I even texted her right now
after what happened to Derek.

Didn't Naomi tell you what
happened with the accident?

Poor guy.
Naomi and Jacob adore him.

Yeah.

There's no way she wouldn't have
been there for him, you know?

But...

I don't think
she would've actually

jumped back into that
relationship if it wasn't--

You are seriously doing the time
and you didn't do the crime.

-You slept on the couch.
-Yeah.

-I told her, but she--
-Didn't believe you?

No, she did, but she couldn't
get past my player rep.

Even her mom said that I was
all shine and no substance.

Ashley defended me, of course,
but I think seeing me

in the arms of a supermodel
cemented her worst fears.

Things are always messy
before you lock someone down.

No risk, no reward.

Big talk from the woman
who wouldn't risk it with me.

Listen, I've always been
up-front. I'm not ready.

Honestly, it's the Derek
of it all that's the clincher.

You could've done
everything right,

but as soon as he fell,

Ashley would've
had to be there for him.

Yeah, well,
I'll never know that, will I?

You know what?
I'm devoting way too much time

and alcohol
to what might have been.

We never even
got off the ground.

-[stammers] C'est la vie.
-Hey.

The heart wants what it wants,

even if what it wants
is a vanilla milkshake.

This girl woke your heart up and
you get to mourn that, Andre.

And I do hate
if I cost you that.

No, no, no, this is not on you.

But you don't need to see me

hanging around
being depressed either,

not on Chelsea's big night.

Listen, you walked me through
all of my heartbreak with my ex.

Let me share in your almost.

It's the least I can do.

Yeah.

Is knocking not in
your repertoire of tricks?

You know, I have been here
so many times,

and I am just now noticing
how small this room really is.

Maybe because you
take up so much damn space.

Is this some sort of
false modesty

the rich have
to punish themselves?

I mean, you can't have nice
things while pining over Nicole.

That it?

The penthouse was taken.

And I'm not in the mood
to be judged for where I've been

forced to live because
you blew up my marriage.

Or maybe slumming it
was always your M.O.

What's this about, Dana?

You know, men who cheat, they...

they usually pick the same girl,
just younger, but not you.

Maybe eating from that
silver spoon for so long

made you want
something different.

Something from the streets.

There it is. From insult
to come-on in seconds.

You think I'm trying
to seduce you? Hm.

You are so sure
of our places, aren't you?

But you know what
you haven't thought about?

How things can change
just like that.

All I see is the same old Dana

playing the same old tired hits.

Us not being together
has nothing to do

with our places in the world.

We're not together because
you're not where my heart is,

Dana, or...

Leslie?

Yeah, well, I've got
a new song for you, Teddy Boo,

and it goes a little
something like this.

I'm just as rich
as you are, Doc.

Probably richer.

How you like me now?

Sit back down.

My dad's office
said you'd be here.

Oh, gosh, what now, Kat?

My mom and dad's
great love story is no more.

They're getting a divorce

thanks to you
and your crazy-a*s mother.

Mother's good deed in funding
that trust can't end

with Leslie getting
her sticky fingers on it.

I believe that's why
they call it a twist of fate.

Money's power,
and in the wrong hands...

Oh, and there aren't any hands
more wrong than hers.

The question is action.

ANITA:
Can the trust be reversed?

No, the trust is ironclad.

Leslie will keep getting checks
until that trust

runs out of money
or she runs out of lives.

Do I get a vote on which option?

Bill, we need a solution

that strips her of the money,
not her life.

Understood.
And unworkable.

So you're just saying
we're screwed?

Yeah, well...

the only thing left
is to protect yourselves.

You know, be on the lookout
for the new.

New deals, new people.

Yeah, she can hire
a honey trap, a hit man,

anything that her little mind
can dream up and outsource.

Double your security.
Keep your eyes open.

Now, she is new to money,

so she's bound
to make some mistakes.

And you'll need someone
who can spot her coming.

I can do that for you.

And what's the price
of your vigilance this time?

The same invoice that's
been sitting in front of you

for years,
and it's still unpaid.

I want your respect.

I never truly had it, and today
that changes or I'm out.

If you think
we're gonna to bow down,

you can just turn around
and walk right out that door.

I gave you respect by inviting
you here in the first place.

After that last fix, I should've
lost your damn number.

No, you called because
you needed another job done.

That's not respect, that's
ringing the bell for help.

No one ever forced
your hand, Bill.

I was your son-in-law.

You could see how much
I needed a father.

Especially
since my actual father

left so much to be desired.

Cold, withholding,

giving just enough praise
to keep me hanging on.

You know, I never noticed
how much you two have in common.

You know what the real secret
of the Duprees is?

Only those with Dupree blood

flowing through their veins
truly belong.

Maybe that's why Ted
sought validation elsewhere.

-Bill!
-We don't need you.

Ah, well, Nicole, well,
actually, you do.

There's some things
even you can't fix.

I used to show up here
every Sunday after church,

trying to make myself useful,
trying to make myself family.

Is that your excuse
for stepping out on Dani?

I'll own my crimes,

but my greatest sin is being
so in awe of all of you.

But, hey, we're all
down in the dirt now.

I don't need you
to bow down now.

I need you to look me
in the eye every time

I walk into a room in this town.

I want the nod, the handshake,
and that goes for my wife, too.

She's not wearing
some scarlet letter.

She's wearing my ring.
Now, that's my retainer.

And you can take my terms
or you can leave them,

and that crazy woman will be
your problem and yours alone.

So Anita's your benefactress?

Yeah, better watch your step.

You don't want to be on
the wrong side of Anita Dupree.

You can't tell me how
to navigate my new sugar mama.

But you do think
I have some insight, don't you?

You're here
because you want lessons.

What can you teach me?

You want me to show you
how to fit in

with Fairmont Crest's finest.

For all the good it'll do you.

Oh, you don't think
I'm smart enough?

Smarts you got,

but it's the bloodlines
that count.

You'll never be one of us.

I probably have more zeros

on my bank statements
than you have.

That's a good start,

but money will just
get you in the door.

You can buy
all the right clothes.

I can even clue you in
on the list of who's who.

But belonging to Fairmont Crest
is in the details.

It's how you enter the room.
It's which fork you use.

It's what you do
and you don't do.

And the toughest part for you--

it's what you say
and you don't say.

Wealth is nuance, and you--

you couldn't buy subtle
with all the money in the world.

And contrary to what you think,

I actually came here
to give you your money back.

How's that for class?

Keep it.

Take it.

Oh. Oh, you have
so much money that...

that you don't care
about taking mine.

So is this what
wealth looks like? Hm.

Well... I don't know.

How's that for not caring

about money?

Look, I've done everything I can

to repair my relationship
with Nicole.

Okay, she's such a saint. She's
actually trying to forgive me.

And me and Ted,
we're getting closer,

even though you tried
to stop that from happening.

So, yes, hearing about
the divorce, it breaks my heart.

I'm sad just like you.

Yeah, you're sad, all right.

They looked like
"happily ever after" goals.

Like every day they just
took comfort in knowing

that they'd be in each other's
arms in bed again at night.

Because it just felt...

-right.
-Ew.

Why are you digging into
my parents' sex life, creep?

I didn't say anything about sex.
You went there.

I was talking about love,

about touch, about affection,
about basic compatibility,

which either a couple has
or they don't.

-What are we doing?
-What we do.

You get hurt, you call me.
I get hurt, I call you,

and we make each other
feel better.

No, we make each other
feel amazing.

Dani.

Maybe we've done this a lot.

We're not doing this now.

You said you'd evolved,
that you'd moved on

from friends with benefits
and from me.

Then that doesn't work out,
you think you can just

pluck me out of the friend zone
and pick up where we left off?

Dani, wh-- you are giving me
whiplash right now.

Just a second ago,
you were right there with me.

So...

So are you saying
that you're evolving, too?

That you want something more
with me now?

I have been crystal clear

about the level of commitment
I'm capable of.

We will always be friends,
no matter what.

But if you want
those benefits back,

you're gonna have to
put in some work.

[knock on door]

You've made enough
of a mess, Dana.

EVA:
It's me.

-Oh.
-Why'd you think it was my mom?

You don't want to know.

She said she needed
to do something

after she was done at the bank.
I guess this was it.

Yeah, I think I may have hurt
her feelings, if they exist.

Well, I'm more concerned
with yours at the moment.

Kat told me Nicole filed.

Oh, Eva, you are nothing
like your mother, huh?

You say that
like it's a compliment,

-and I hate feeling like it is.
-I'm sorry.

So she told you
about the trust, huh?

Why the Benjamin confetti?

She wanted to show me
she had money to burn.

I'm just lucky
she didn't bring the matches.

Well, any chance
this is just the closure

she needs to finally
start moving forward?

I don't know.

I just know when she...

was moving back into town, I was
worried about what she would do.

But now that she has cash,

I'm not less worried, I'm more.

-Ms. Thomas.
-Call me Leslie.

-And thanks for the pass.
-I could've come to you.

Uh, no, it's fitting.
Full circle moment.

I see.

As I tell all my clients,

no investment is too small

when it comes to building
your future.

I don't handle
starter homes myself,

but someone on my team would be
happy to take great care of you.

You're gonna want
to handle this one.

This transaction
is the opposite of small.

I can't believe she gets
to keep all of that money.

And did you notice that Bill
had no real solutions to offer?

Well, the hard truth is,

there really is nothing
that can be done.

The trust is irreversible.

Your mother
made her feelings clear.

That slap was so loud,
I'm surprised

that all of Fairmont Crest
didn't hear it.

Mother, you slapped her?

-Go ahead.
-I am not proud of it.

This can't be valid.

There has to be a way that

Leslie got into the system or...

She's legitimate.

She's Barbara's daughter.

Leslie, the daughter
of the lost Articulette.

Well, that doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter
whose daughter she is.

She is still the woman
who blew up my marriage.

Still the one who tried
to k*ll my assistant twice.

She has tried to take
everything from me.

And now we're just
gonna reward her

by giving her untold millions?

Your mother never
could've anticipated this.

Mom, I know you regret
the Articulettes

leaving a member behind,
but it wasn't m*rder.

-This guilt that you feel...
-Is inescapable.

I'll be in my office
if you need me.

What you don't know

is Barbara died by suicide.

Oh, Mom.

I'm sorry.

-Did Leslie tell you this?
-No.

Barbara did.

In a letter
she left behind for me.

She said my ambition k*lled her.
She was right.

That's why that trust
was made irreversible.

It reflected
my deliberate intent.

It was the right way
to correct past wrongs.

And we don't get to change that

simply because we disagree
with who is receiving it.

This is Leslie Thomas.

You owe nothing to that woman.

We'd just hit our stride.

I'd shaken off my sad.
We were all fun and fire.

Then you decided to move on
to more beige horizons.

If you want this back,
show me you deserve it.

So you want me to beg?

Begging isn't sexy.

No. Nursie got
the full Andre experience.

You wined and dined her,

you just told me you made her
a fake Paris.

What'd I get-- Uptown take-out?

Okay, you want it, you got it.

But wouldn't romance put us in
danger of something less casual?

-I think I can handle it.
-Okay.

So, what are we thinking,
exactly?

-Figure me out.
-Mm-hmm.

My wants, my whims.

What makes me blush.

What makes me burn.

There is gold at the end
of this rainbow,

but you got to follow the signs.

Uh-huh.

I think I can do that.

Mm.

Force of habit.

I'm sorry.
Uh, it won't happen again.

Until you say so.

Now, scoot. Can't have you
making me late.

Yeah, right.

Dani.

Thanks.

I appreciate your optimism.

And I hope your mother
can see all

the possibilities
for her and for you.

But I don't think
you can put the genie

back in the bottle.
Because if we could,

-that would be...
-Amazing?

Miraculous.

So, you think that a leopard
can't change his spots?

[laughs]

Dana won't even
change her spots.

She'll just add new ones.

I hate this, Nicole.

I never thought
that the sins of your mother

would be visited upon you.

-I understand, but I just...
-Last night,

I tried to put Leslie
in her place.

Make it clear that
she couldn't hold this over me.

But that slap
didn't fix a thing.

And a few songs
doesn't wash away what I did.

My heart, my conscience
won't let me off that easy.

And I just have to wonder,

if I hadn't done
what I did to Barbara,

would her daughter
be the person that she is?

Oh, you can't honestly believe
that Leslie

is the way she is
because of some girl group drama

that happened way before
she was even born.

You cannot take the blame and
you can't give her your money.

A mother's first instinct
is to protect her child,

and I always will.

But my life didn't begin
the day you were born, Nicole.

I made a promise
to Barbara and to myself.

And that's what that trust is:

a commitment without conditions.

But now, every time
I look at that woman,

I am reminded of the promise
I made to Barbara.

You made a mistake with Barbara.

But giving Leslie that money
doesn't make it right.

-Cut her off.
-I've tried.

The trust attorneys have tried.
Bill tried. It can't be done.

And you're ambivalent about it.

I'm furious.

And heartbroken.

Nevertheless...

That money is hers to keep, and
I have resigned myself to that.

But Leslie Thomas' entitlement
ends there.

She's owed not another cent
or second from me, you,

or anyone else in this family.

She is not allowed
to infringe upon us any further.

And yet, somehow, some way,

whatever Leslie wants...

...she'll get.

Now, I know every zip code in
the DMV you'll want to consider

with your substantial budget.

We'll find something
that suits you.

I picked you because
you have more listings

in Fairmont Crest
than anyone else.

This is the only zip code
that interests me.

I want to live behind the gates.