01x141 - Episode 141

[bunniefuu]

Oh, Mother.
What a pleasant surprise.

-Or maybe not.
-It's Dani.

I'm so glad you're aware
of the situation.

How could I not be?

I just read about Doug McBride's
drunk driving accident

and my blood ran cold.

The way that he and Dani--

two incredibly intelligent,
talented people--

became so self-destructive
because of alcohol.

But at least Dani
was able to correct

her most recent error
in judgment.

That absurd wedding to Andre.

Actually, she wasn't.

I ran into Andre last night,

and he told me that he and Dani
decided to stay married.

To stay...

No. Absolutely not.

We have to put an end to this.

I don't even want to think
about what kind of wild behavior

they're engaging in as we speak.

Congratulations, Chelsea bear.

I am so proud of you
for launching your business,

putting it out into the world,

and for how you handled
that very difficult situation

with Allison
with such grace and aplomb.

Call me back
when you can, okay? Kisses.

So...

has Chelsea said anything
about us getting married?

Not yet. Though
I'm sure she knows,

courtesy of
the Anita impersonator's

-social media post.
-Mm.

-So is no news good news?
-Unfortunately not.

Chelsea tends to give me
the silent treatment

when she is peeved
about something I've done.

Ah. I'm sorry about that.

It'd be nice if Chelsea and
Naomi could be happy for us.

What are you doing?
Did someone tell you to stop?

-No.
-Then continue cuddling, please.

Unless you're bored.

-Are you bored?
-Absolutely not.

I like snuggling up with you

like we're
an old married couple.

I could get used to this.

♪ ♪

Bill, I searched for all
the documents you asked about.

I was able to dig up
Dani's marriage certificate,

-but I'm afraid...
-And why does my husband

want his ex-wife's
marriage certificate?

Counselor.

Since when do you play blackjack
in the middle of the afternoon?

Oh, I'm not here to play games.

Especially after learning
what recently happened

to one of your high rollers.

Doug McBride.

Oh, yes, I heard about
his car accident.

Such a shame.

Is it really?

That's not actually the question
you want to ask, is it?

Did you have something
to do with Doug's car

plunging into that ravine?

So have you and Derek
decided on the big day?

Nowhere near.

We're still adjusting to moving
in together, which, fortunately,

is going much better
than the last time.

That's good.

So have there been any changes
in his condition?

Not yet,

but he's managing to keep
a positive attitude,

which is wonderful,
considering he must be so scared

that the paralysis
could be permanent.

You know?

Hey, you.

What are you doing here?

I just got done visiting
the children's ward

with some
of my firefighter buddies.

Decided to wheel by.

Aw, I'm glad you did.
How'd it go?

It was good.
We passed out toy fire trucks,

told stories, the usual.

Well, I'm sure they loved it.
And you.

Just the kids?

Yeah, 'cause you're completely
unlovable otherwise.

That's why I'm planning to spend
the rest of my life with you.

-Good seeing you, Derek.
-Shanice, hey.

Hey, if you stick around,
I can squeeze in

a physical therapy session.

Um, I wouldn't want
to inconvenience you.

You won't.

I've got a new routine
I'm itching to try out.

Hey, Ashley, I think
Mrs. Stone probably needs help

-with her lunch tray.
-I'm on it.

I really don't want
to bother you, Shanice.

Cut the crap.

I cannot believe you are
still lying to Ashley

about not feeling sensation
in your legs,

but hopefully, by the end
of today's session,

I'd knock some sense into you.

♪ ♪

Nicole, I am sitting here
at the country club

surrounded by brochures for...

cemeteries, caskets, flowers.

I-I don't know where to start.

I-I keep thinking, what would
Doug want? But I-I don't know.

We figured we had years

before we had
to consider funerals.

I know, honey.

I'll come join you, and we'll
go through them together, okay?

In the meantime, you should
probably start with a plot.

I suggest Cedar Hill Cemetery.
It's close, quiet, and lovely.

Mm.

Start with Cedar Hill.
I-I-I can do that. I'll...

I'll ask for a plot
near some trees.

Doug always liked shade.

My husband deserves the best.

Excuse me, Miss.
I'm looking for a supervisor.

I'm the nursing supervisor.
Can I help you?

Um... I just found out
that Dr. McBride's office

has already been reassigned.

Donnell McBride?

I didn't know you were
back home. Is Deanna back, too?

Uh, no. Uh, my sister's
pretty fragile right now.

She decided it'd be better
if she stayed in school for now.

I'm Shanice Johnson,

and please accept
my condolences for your loss.

-Your father was a good man.
-Thank you.

Came back to visit his office.

You know, remember him
where he was in his element.

After all of his years
of service to this hospital,

for them to just turn over
his office so suddenly...

-I mean...
-It wasn't suddenly, Donnell.

Your father
hasn't worked here for months.

My father never said anything
to me about leaving Garland,

a-and we talked all the time.

Where was he working? Did he
move to a private practice?

Look, I suggest you talk
to your mother about this.

Mom didn't tell me anything
about this, either.

Were my parents
keeping secrets from me?

It's not my place to say.

Oh.

Thank you for at least
telling me a little bit

about what was going on.

You've been more honest with me
than my own family.

I'm no lawyer, but I think
I've just been libeled.

Slander is the term for making
a false oral statement,

and I simply asked a question.

Accusing me of involvement
in Doug's death.

A few days ago,
I told you that Doug

came to me for help
to take you down.

Next thing I know, he winds up
in a fatal car accident.

That's one hell
of a coincidence.

Some would call it karma.

Doug flew too close to the sun,

and the universe put the brakes
on his ambition.

Sorry for
the poor choice of words.

Apparently, Doug's brakes
couldn't keep him

from flying into that ravine.

That's cold, Joey, even for you.

Just being honest,

which is usually the mark
of an innocent man.

Doug McBride was a drunk.

Just ask any of
the bartenders here,

or any at any
of the local establishments.

And after yet one more night of
drinking himself into oblivion,

he had the poor judgement to get
behind the wheel of a car.

It's a plausible argument.

Still pretty damn
convenient, though.

I wasn't even in town
when it happened.

Oh, I have no doubt
that you made sure

that you were someplace else
with an extensive digital trail

and plenty of witnesses
to your whereabouts.

Because that's exactly
what a smart person would do

to give himself an alibi.

Old married couple indeed.

I think our new marriage
is very hot.

Speaking of which, aren't you
warm in all these clothes?

Let me help you with those.

Dani. It's the afternoon,
for goodness sake.

Mother!

I am sorry to interrupt
the honeymoon, and...

Actually, I'm not.

I am thrilled.

Dani, you and I
need to talk, alone.

Mother, you do not get to say

who comes and goes
and stays in my home.

And if you're gonna
come in here without knocking,

I might have to revoke
your house key privileges.

ANITA:
Well, go ahead.

You've been revoking
all kinds of things lately,

like your plan to end
this farce of a marriage.

Bill didn't tell me
why he wanted

Dani's marriage certificate,

just told me to track down every
legal document I could find

related to the marriage.

He is obsessed with this woman.

I think that's overstating it.

I try to keep him away from her,
but you enable him

by getting papers
with her name on them.

His interest is purely
professional, I'm sure.

Yeah, I'm sure
one of his clients

is paying Bill's
huge hourly rate

to learn about Dani's marriage.

Caroline, something...

shifted when Chelsea
was kidnapped.

I think he might have fallen
back in love with Dani.

Bill loves you.

But don't you think
it's possible for a man

to love two women
at the same time?

Sure it is,
but that doesn't mean

that's what's going on
with Bill.

You really should talk
to your husband

before jumping to conclusions
and driving yourself crazy.

Happy? Now that
you've made my new husband

feel unwelcome in my home.

I just want to know why that boy
is still your husband.

He is very much a man, and
I don't owe you an explanation.

You owe me
for being on this Earth.

But right now,
I'll settle for an explanation.

Or are you refusing to answer me

because you'll have to admit
that you've made yet another

bad decision while drinking?

Why would you even say that?

Doug McBride died because he
was driving while intoxicated.

Yes, I know, and it's very sad,

and my heart goes out
to Vanessa,

but I don't see what that has
to do with my marriage to Andre.

You said
you were blackout drunk.

Blackout drunk, Dani.

Baby, I think you have
a drinking problem.

Anita Dupree just kicked me out
of my own wife's house

because you went and told her
that Dani and I

didn't get an annulment.

Was it a secret?

No, but did you have to go

and put the worst
possible spin on it?

Mother paid me a visit
because she's worried

about Dani's drinking.

That is when I filled her in
that the two of you

decided to stay married.

-No spin.
-But why today?

I mean, sure, we were drunk
off our asses at the wedding.

As far as I know, Dani hasn't
been drinking since we got back.

Doug's drunk driving accident.

It got Mother thinking
about the role

-that alcohol plays
in Dani's life.
-Yeah.

And frankly,
I think that she has reason

to be concerned
about the both of you.

Can you honestly tell me
that-that you would've married

Dani if you were
stone cold sober?

The drinks may have made me
uninhibited that night, sure,

but honestly,
booze is not what sent

-me and Dani to Vegas.
-Then what was it?

And don't you even say
"true love"

because neither one of you
has used those words

to describe this relationship.

Dani and I had both been dealing
with some personal stuff,

and she had another argument
with Bill and...

Because it always comes back
to Bill where Dani is concerned.

And I can understand
Dani deciding

that she needed
a younger spouse for payback.

But what do you get
out of this, Andre?

Marriage to an incredible woman.

I heard Ashley got engaged.

Did you marry Dani
on the rebound?

Hey, how'd things go
with Shanice?

We haven't had our session yet.

You know, she's probably too
busy. I'm-I'm just gonna leave.

No, no, no, you can't. Please,
she was so sweet to offer and...

listen, things have been going
so well with us.

I feel like we can do anything.

Who knows, maybe this is
the physical therapy session

that'll make a breakthrough.

Anything's possible.

So I found out
about Ashley's engagement

right before Dani and I
went to Vegas,

and maybe it hurt.

I'm sorry, honey.

Feeling rejected can lead
to anyone making a bad decision,

but fortunately,
this can still be fixed.

Go back to the original plan
of getting an annulment.

Why is your family dead set
against our marriage?

If you were willing
to accept Dani and me dating,

why is our being married
such a problem?

Speaking for myself, I tolerated
you and Dani having a fling.

Okay.

So as long as I was her boy toy,
that was okay with you?

It was concerning.

But a short-term relationship

comes with a lot less problems
than a marriage.

Yeah, I can't see that.

Let's start
with the age gap, for one.

I'm assuming that, someday,
you're gonna want to have kids.

That is not gonna happen
with Dani.

So I should break up with her
because of kids

that I might eventually
want someday?

Okay. Anything else?

The fact that she is still
madly in love with Bill.

Don't you want to be more
than somebody's second choice?

How is that a healthy dynamic?

Auntie, maybe the dynamic you're
really concerned about here

is the one between you and Dani.

Andre, you are sadly mistaken
if you think you're gonna come

between me and my sister.

No, no, I'm-I'm talking about
your position as the-the stable,

respectable sister,
in contrast to Dani,

who's the hot mess.

Because you think that
this drunken marriage

makes her look stable? Please.

If she's in a happy marriage,

and you're going through
a painful divorce,

yeah, it flips the script.

-That is absurd.
-I don't think so.

And as much as I love you,

I'm not gonna get an annulment
just to make you happy.

This is not about my happiness.

Tell me,
would you be happy with Dani

if you found out Ashley
all of a sudden became single?

That is a pointless hypothetical

that I won't dignify
with an answer.

Mother, you are completely
off base thinking

that I have a drinking problem.

Andre and I were having fun

and doing what millions
of people do in Vegas.

Getting so drunk
that you could barely remember

what you did
isn't healthy, baby.

Now, I was all for you
finding someone

to make you happy, but right now

I can't help but wonder if Andre
is a bad influence on you.

You couldn't be more wrong.

I actually was drinking
more than I should've been

a couple months ago,

and it was Andre
who called me out

and convinced me to cut back.

Frankly, he knew more
about what was going on with me

than anyone in the family.

Well, why wouldn't you
tell us that you were

having this kind of trouble?

Because I wasn't. Not really.

Thanks to Andre.

Baby, I saw
those wedding photos,

and he was every bit
as drunk as you were.

We didn't drive.
We used a pilot and a rideshare

to get to that wedding chapel
and back again safely.

And what about
all the drinking that led up

to this spontaneous
trip to Vegas?

I heard you'd been drinking
at the club for hours.

Yes, we had some drinks,

but that's not
why we got married.

The truth is,

I was under the influence
of something

far more addictive than liquor.

Bill Hamilton.

You know, Counselor,
sometimes an alibi

means the guy didn't do it.

Relatively few times,

in my experience
as a criminal defense lawyer.

The timing of my trip
just happened to coincide

with the accident.

Yeah, yeah,
but it's just not like you

to let a threat against you
go unanswered, Joey.

Oh, I thought about
taking action,

but then I realized that

Doug wasn't really capable
of doing me any harm.

I mean, look,
the poor guy was so inept

he didn't know that,
by going to you,

you would just turn around
and go to me.

Well, I'm grateful
that he didn't realize that.

Yeah, well, him going
to anyone to muscle me

was a dumb move,
and he should've known that.

Plus, any move he was
gonna make against me

would only hurt Vanessa.

And now that he's gone,

you have no obstacles
in the pursuit of his wife.

Doug couldn't be an obstacle
in his wildest dreams.

I had no reason to hurt the man.

So you can rest easy,
Counselor.

By coming to me
and giving me a heads-up,

you didn't sign
his death warrant.

We'll probably need Ballroom A
for the repast,

with the option
to spill over into B.

-My husband was well-known
and respected.
-Yes, ma'am.

-We'll discuss the menu later.
-Yes, Mrs. McBride.

And again, you have
my deepest condolences.

Donnell, sweetheart,
what are you doing here?

Aunt Jan told me you were here.

I meant, what brought you
back home?

After I saw you and Deanna,
I thought...

I took a leave of absence
from school.

Why?

I was clear with both
you and your sister that

I didn't want you
to disrupt your lives.

There's no way I could focus
on classes right now.

And here...

...maybe it'll help me believe
Dad's really gone.

And help you, too.

That's so sweet of you.

But... I'm doing fine.

And I'm concerned about Deanna
being at Banneker alone.

She's not alone, Mom.

She's got her sorors
around her all the time

and regular sessions
with her therapist.

But now, I'm starting to wonder
if the real reason

you didn't want me and Deanna
to come to the funeral

was because you didn't want us
to know the truth.

What do you mean?

Dad.

I was honest with you
about how he died.

No, I just came
from the hospital.

They told me he quit
his job there months ago.

How come nobody told me?

Your-your father and I wanted
to protect you and your sister.

From what?

If you don't level with me
about what was going on...

I'll find somebody else
who will.

Your father was having
some personal struggles

that were impacting
his job performance.

In the interest of patient care
and his own well-being,

he... he resigned.

Job performance?

Patient care?

Come on, Mom.
I'm not a little kid anymore.

Whatever the truth is,
just tell me.

Um...

Your father had...
had started gambling heavily.

It got out of control.

For how long?

I mean...

I mean, why didn't you
get him some help?

I didn't realize how far gone
he was until it was too late.

You should've told me.

Maybe I could've tried to find
a way to get through to him.

Dad might still be alive.

-SHANICE: Before I start...
-[door closes]

...I need you to level with me
about how much progress

you've actually made.

So, are you running marathons?

I swear to you,
nothing has changed.

I have twinges of feeling back
in part of my legs,

but I still can't walk.

Relax, this is
for your own good.

Guilt causes stress, you know.

And stress won't help you
with your recovery.

Assuming you even feel guilty

for lying to the woman
you say you love,

and you're not
a full-blown sociopath.

It's hard keeping
this secret from Ashley,

but I'm hoping to surprise her
by walking at the wedding.

So just how is this
supposed to work?

She comes walking
down the aisle towards you,

and you-you leap
out of your wheelchair

yelling, "Praise Jesus!

I can walk,"
like one of those con artists

who works
with the bogus faith healer?

You're deliberately putting
a negative spin on all this.

Because there's
nothing positive about...

faking a phony miracle
at your own wedding.

I-I want the occasion
to be memorable

and special for Ashley.

You can do that
by splurging on a good DJ

and a chocolate fountain.

Derek, it is clear to me

that you are keeping this secret

because you're afraid
that Ashley

might leave you for Andre

if she feels like
you don't need her.

And what I don't get is,
why are you so insecure

now that Andre's
married to Dani?

Andre's married?

HAYLEY:
I want an explanation.

Caroline,
is this all you can find?

No annulment or divorce papers?

-No.
-Hey. I am waiting.

In a moment, sweetheart.

Any chance the officiant forgot
to sign or file something?

-Anything?
-No. The marriage is legal.

-Damn it.
-Good.

And I hope they live
happily ever after.

I don't suppose they were
smart enough to draft a prenup?

Well, in all my years
working here,

I've never known of an impulsive
Vegas wedding with a prenup.

Yeah, that's true.

All right. All right, thanks.
We'll continue this later.

You have one last chance
to explain to me

why you give a damn
about Dani's marriage

before you have two exes
instead of just one.

Hayley, I asked Carolina
to look into Dani's marriage

because of the
financial ramifications, okay?

Dani is a wealthy woman,

and one day, my daughters,
they should inherit her estate.

But now, this-this dilettante,

this "playa"
has claims to it all.

Andre inherited his own fortune
when his parents died,

so he doesn't need Dani's money.

You just can't stand the fact
that Dani remarried.

I think you like knowing your ex
was still pining for you

and that door was still open.

Yeah, well,
you couldn't be more wrong.

And that's why you had Caroline
looking everywhere

to see if there was a reason
that this marriage is invalid.

You know, actually, I would've
asked Dani all this myself,

but I didn't want
to upset my wife,

so I decided I'd better find out

without going
anywhere near Dani,

since you did ask me
to stay far away from her.

Talk about following the letter

rather than
the spirit of the law.

Well, my spirit
is pretty steamed right now.

Now, just how did Bill
have anything to do

with this disastrous marriage?

The night
Andre and I flew to Vegas,

I was supposed to have dinner
with Bill, Naomi, and Chelsea.

Nothing romantic,
just us and the girls.

And let me guess,
he cancelled on you?

-Honey, it was just dinner.
-No, it wasn't.

Hayley got her panties in such
a bundle that she ordered Bill

to tell me that we needed space
from each other forever.

Well, Hayley
might be right for once.

You and Bill do bring out
the worst in each other.

When things are bad.

But when I have that man's
heart, it is the ultimate high.

You know how happy I was
for so many years.

I think I remember those years

a little more clearly
than you do.

Look, I'm not claiming

that it was ever
a perfect relationship,

but the point is that,
this time, the hurt

and disappointment led me
straight to that wedding chapel.

If I hadn't been
focused on Andre,

I might've attacked Bill again.

He's the addiction.

Then you need to figure out
a 12-step program

to stop Bill
from having power over you.

Lord, grant me the power to
accept the Bill I cannot change?

Exactly.

You need to come to terms
with a life without Bill.

Your obsession with this man
led you to fire a g*n

at his wedding,
and now, you've run off

and married your sister's
nephew, of all people.

-Where does it end?
-I don't know.

I wish to God I did.

Sweetheart.

I am sure Doug thought
he would get home safely

when he decided to get behind
the wheel of that car.

What if something similar
happens with you?

What if you accidentally
k*ll Bill

the next time you go after him?

Or somehow
cause harm to yourself?

The thought of you
in prison or worse...

That would destroy me.

-No one's going to prison
or worse, Mom.
-You don't know that.

Now, you need to find a way to
get over Bill, once and for all.

Before it costs you everything.

Card tables aren't open
for another hour.

Oh, no, I'm just looking
for information.

Well, you're looking
in the wrong place.

This ain't no internet.

Does the name Doug McBride
ring any bells?

Who the hell wants...

My God. Donnell.

Boy, I haven't seen you
since you were a kid.

Randy. Randy Parker.

Me and your father,
we go way back.

Remember he used to
bring you along to the park

when we used to hoop?

Yeah. Yeah,
I remember that. Uh...

Wasn't there some type
of, um, summer tournament?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Every summer, man.

I remember your dad used
to palm your little bean head

and act like you were a ball
and he was gonna dunk you.

Yeah, and you used to give me
money for the ice cream man.

Oh, you and them
damn creamsicles.

Yeah, so, uh,
you and my dad, y'all...

y'all just stopped
hanging out or...?

Oh, nah, nah, man.
It wasn't nothing like that.

You know, I didn't really fit in
with the country club vibe.

And as your mom and dad started
rising up the food chain,

you know, two of us
just mostly hung out here.

So my dad, he used to come
to the casino just to visit you?

Well, I mean, that doesn't
really matter now, right?

Right. Look, man,
I'm just trying to figure out

what happened, all right?

Someone told me
he used to gamble a lot.

Have a seat, kid.
Go ahead, sit down.

Look, Donnie, I'm not gonna
lie to you, all right?

Your dad was a regular here
at the poker table, right?

-He even sat in that very chair.
-Was he here the night he died?

Your father,
for most of his life,

was a stand-up guy,

and I know that's the way
he wants you to remember him.

I'm gonna take that as a yes.

This is where my dad
was drinking

right before the accident.

I can't believe
Ashley didn't tell you

Dani and Andre are married.

He came by the hospital,
shared the news the other day.

Maybe it's too difficult
for her to talk about

because she's still
hung up on the guy.

More like she knows that Andre
is a sore spot for you,

and she didn't want
to mention his name.

The important thing is, Andre
is not worried about Ashley,

so he is the least
of your worries.

Ashley did tell me
she had a feeling

I'd have a breakthrough today.

That's perfect.
Now, you can do your big reveal

and have an honest relationship.

Now, go ahead and order
that chocolate fountain.

You have a point.

This could be the right moment
to tell her the truth.

-Oh.
-Excuse me.

Hey.

Um, hey,
for what it's worth, um,

I decided to take your advice.

Yeah, me and Dani decided
to stay married.

Oh.

Well, I hope you're as happy
as I am with my--

how did you put it?--
"safe comfort zone" engagement.

Yeah, I shouldn't
have said that. I'm sorry.

Don't be.

Derek and I
are deliriously happy, and...

I hope you and Dani are, too.

Yeah. We are happy, yeah.

Good.

Well, I guess you're adjusting

to living together,
just like we are.

Although, Dani's house is huge.

Her closet is the size
of my whole apartment.

Uh, no, we-we haven't worked out
those living arrangements yet.

I'm still at my old place.

Huh.

Well, whatever works
for you, I guess.

-Yeah.
-Oh, my God.

-It just hit me.
-What?

You are Naomi's stepfather now.

-How's that going for you?
-Come on.

We haven't discussed
that situation

with either of Dani's daughters.

Okay, but what is it like
when you're all together?

Well, we haven't really
seen them since we got married.

Okay, so you
haven't moved in and...

you're not blending
with her family...

Yeah.

Doesn't seem like
much of a marriage to me.

-We need to talk.
-Yeah, perfect timing.

I can get your marriage
annulled within 24 hours.

-I'll even do it pro bono.
-No, thank you.

Why do you have a copy
of my marriage certificate?

Oh, I just wanted
more verification

than that idiotic
wedding selfie.

My marriage is very real.

Oh, yeah? Then why are you here

instead of with your nearly
incestuous underage groom?

Because my spidey senses tingle

whenever you're
thinking about me,

which, obviously, you are.

This connection between us
is threatening to wreck

both of our marriages,

so I think we better figure out

how to sever it
once and for all.

I don't know what's worse,

Dani insisting on
staying married to Andre

or the fact that the reason
she ran off to Vegas

in the first place is 'cause
she can't get over Bill.

Andre's reasons
for this marriage

are pretty dysfunctional
as well.

They're not gonna be happy
in this marriage,

but neither one of them
is willing to admit it.

Vanessa.

You have my deepest condolences.

Thank you, Anita.

Sorry I took so long.

But I brought Mother along
to help.

Anita Dupree is an expert

when it comes to planning
events like this.

I will gratefully take
all the help I can get.

How's the planning going?

I was arranging for the repast
when Donnell showed up.

He took some time off
from school

because he's having trouble
processing Doug's death,

and I've only added to it.

Don't say that.

Donnell's suffering
because his father died,

not because of anything
that you did.

You're wrong there.

-I failed my children.
-ANITA: No.

No, you didn't.

Vanessa, every mother
has been in your shoes,

including myself.

You just have to trust
that your love

and support will heal your son.

I appreciate the sentiment,

but I can't help but feel that

I've hurt my family
beyond repair.

Randy, go to the cash cage.
Make sure everything's ready.

We have a whale
coming in tonight.

Will do. I'll show you out.

I'll find my way.

-Thanks, Randy.
-Yeah.

You the guy who owns this place?

That would be me.

Then you're the one
who's responsible

for my father's death.

It wasn't that long ago
that you said

having your own place was the
secret to a happy relationship.

Yeah, Dani and I's marriage
may be a little unconventional,

but it doesn't mean
that it's not real.

Well, I'm glad.

Look, I just want you
to be happy.

Wow. How crazy is it
that you are one

of the few people who are
supportive of my marriage?

Well, you being married
is better for all of us.

It means that you're
really unavailable.

Uh...

Hey, um, I have to go
talk to my Uncle Ted.

-ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.
-ANDRE: Yeah.

DEREK:
Babe?

How'd your physical therapy
session go?

No breakthrough. Sorry.

Everything's
the same as before.

I couldn't agree more.

We need to put an end
to this... I...

I don't-- whatever this thing is

that started between us
when Chelsea disappeared.

You know,
just the sight of paperwork

with your name on it
is triggering for Hayley.

Oh, poor widdle Hayley-Wayley.

Clearly, I made the better
decision in my second marriage.

Andre is secure enough
in our relationship

that it doesn't faze him
when I mention my ex.

Okay, well, rather than engaging
in any more Hayley bashing,

why don't we just focus on
resolving our current situation?

Hmm? How about that?
What do you suggest?

I don't know, boundaries.

Clearly, I'm no good at those,

so I was relying on your usual
annoyingly brilliant self.

Okay. Um...

Well, hey, we can hurl insults
at each other, yeah?

Piss each other off so much
that we'd be happy

to never see each other again.

Easy enough. You first.

Okay. Dani, you are a walking,

talking, toxic storm.

Bill, you are a heartless,
manipulative b*stard.

And you are...

You are...

...incredibly beautiful.