02x04 - Last Friend Standing

[bunniefuu]

- [whistles] - Let's go, everybody!

Picture time!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ In the Loud house - Come on!

- ♪ The really Loud house ♪

♪ ♪

♪ The really Loud house ♪

[soft music]

♪ ♪

- How about we go out for a walk,

get some fresh air?

- At this hour?

- It's : in the afternoon.

- Well, it's midnight in my heart.

Put that blanket back down.

- It's been a month already.

Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?

- Dramatic, Clyde?

I drove miles to surprise the love of my life,

who surprised me by sticking her beautiful, delicate hand

down my throat and ripping out my still-beating heart.

[imitating heart beating] Dum-dum, dum-dum, dum-dum,

dum...dum...

[imitates EKG flatlining]

[dramatic musical flourish]

- I'm worried about you, man.

Do you know how long it's been since we made a plan?

We're Clincoln McCloud. We gotta get back out there.

- Clyde, you don't need me.

I want you to open that door,

spread your wings, and fly.

Just hand me that tub of peanut butter before you go.

- It's not that easy.

You're, like, % of Clincoln McCloud.

I'm just the "Cuh" and the "Muk."

[sighs] I didn't want to have to resort to this,

but I'm gonna have to physically dominate you.

- Take your best shot, Cuh-Muk.

- Wha!

[both struggling]

Too easy.

- Don't gloat, Clyde.

You beat a depressed guy.

- A win is a win.

- Hey, sweetie. - Hey, there she is.

- How was the game? - Yeah, it was great.

We won. - Did you score any goals?

- Yeah, I had a hat trick. - Nice.

- Oh, and, uh, I also got invited to a sleepover.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- You're probably wondering

why Lynn's announcement

has just brought the Loud house to a standstill.

Lynn has a long and complicated history with sleepovers.

[playful music]

[laughter] - Who's ready

for a pillow fight?

all: Yeah! - Let's do this.

Ah! - [screams]

[groans]

♪ ♪

[tires screech]

- They're too soft.

[siren wailing]

[laughter]

- You call that a fire?

[mischievous music]

[screaming]

[radio chatter]

[tires screech]

- Hey, Daryl. Hey, Jack.

[sleeping bag sizzling] Ow, ow!

Lynn, it is still on fire!

[tense music]

What's going on?

- Old man Willoughby finally passed.

- Please tell me he didn't die in a pillow fight.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

[mischievous music]

Truth or dare?

- They dared me.

- Just once, I wish you would pick truth.

- They can't handle the truth!

- Not only is her history with sleepovers complicated.

In fact, she's never completed a single one.

[whirring]

- So are you thinking of going to the sleepover, honey?

- Yeah, I mean, I figured it's been a while

since I've been to one, so why not?

[chuckles]

- Of course it's been a while.

Every time she goes,

someone ends up in the emergency room.

- Life is sad, people.

- She's probably on some kind of sleepover watch list.

- Shh. She doesn't know that she stopped getting invited.

- Any time there was even a whisper of a sleepover,

I'd take her cleat shopping at the outlets in Wisconsin.

- What is a cleat, but a shoe to smoosh your soul?

- I can't believe she got another invite.

- It's because it's her club team.

None of the girls go to her school,

so they don't know what she's like.

- Ha, well, they're about to find out.

- Hey, Lynn's gotten older now.

Maybe she'll chill out.

- Yeah, I'm sure things will work out.

- Hey, Mom, I probably want to get

to the party a little early so I can be

first in line for the party games.

I'm revved up for this thing!

I'm gonna crush this!

Whoo!

- As a precautionary measure, may I suggest tipping off

the police department, fire department,

and possibly Homeland Security.

- Okay, we have to help her get through this sleepover,

otherwise she'll never be invited

to anything ever again.

- Life is full of disappointments.

The sooner she realizes that, the better.

- Lincoln, you need to help us come up with a plan.

- I'm out of the plan game, people.

♪ ♪

- He's still getting over Charlie.

I'll go talk to him.

- Elbow pads, mouth guard,

nunchucks?

It is a sleepover.

- We have to come up with a plan.

[overlapping chatter] - One at a time, one at a time.

- All right. We all dress up as Lynn.

- Oh, boy.

- We go to the sleepover with her

and all act really nice.

That's five nice Lynns.

- So even if the real Lynn ends up

punching someone in the head,

the other five Lynns will leave

a generally favorable impression.

- We call this Operation Lynn-poster.

- Oh, how about we call this Operation Shh?

- All right. Let's just keep brainstorming.

And if we have absolutely no other ideas--

and I mean none--

then we'll do Operation Lynn-poster.

- I'm just saying, if you were to come up

with a plan to help Lynn,

what might it be?

- Clyde, I'm wallowing.

You can't wallow and come up with brilliant plans

at the same time.

But if I were to give you

the seed of an idea, would you--

- Yes, I'll go get you some more peanut butter.

- The first thing I would do would be

to arrange to have the sleepover held at our house

so I could control the variables.

- That's brilliant.

How might we do that?

- Nice try, Clyde.

Now go get me my wallowing peanut butter.

- This sleepover could be good for you too.

I'm just saying, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world

for a guy with a broken heart

to have an entire starting lineup

of available ladies at his house.

♪ ♪

[door closes]

[triumphant music]

♪ ♪

- All I know is, the vote's locked to .

- Make that to .

This plan is a home run.

- Home run!

- We need help. - Yeah.

[light music]

- Operation Lynn-poster, huh?

Looks like I arrived just in time.

- Yes!

- Okay, people, if we're gonna pull this off,

I'm gonna need you to follow all of my directions

to the letter.

First order of business,

we turn this sleepover into a home game.

Lana, you still have those thousand termites

Mom told you to get rid of?

- Half of them got loose.

I have no idea where they went.

- Okay, people.

Here's the plan.

[phone rings]

♪ ♪

- Termites?

Oh, that's horrible.

Of--of course we would--

excited--

love to have the sleepover at our house.

♪ ♪

- Easy-peasy.

- The man with the plan is back, baby.

- All right. We have exactly minutes

until the team arrives.

In that time, we must execute

a clean sweep of the house,

removing anything that could trigger Lynn.

- We're talking sports equipment, people.

- If she can throw it, hit it, catch it...

- How many catcher mitts does one girl need?

- Nine.

No, wait, ten.

[upbeat music]

- Wish I had something to catch these with.

- If she can kick it, dunk it, pass it...

- Since when does Lynn pole vault?

- She's number one in the state.

- Since when does Lynn kayak?

- She's number one in the state.

- If she can slap it, bop it, volley it over a net...

- These fruits could double as ba*ls.

♪ ♪

Boomerang.

- Yeah, right.

- Told ya.

- Anything that stokes her competitive fires,

I want it gone yesterday.

- That's the day before today, people.

both: Bobsled.

- Once any and all threats have been removed,

the name of the game is subterfuge.

- Luan.

- I'm not so sure this is going to work.

- If it works in cartoons, it works in real life.

That's pranking .

- I've got the cleats.

Whew!

The garage has never looked so good, huh?

all: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

- [chuckles] Told ya.

- [groans]

[light music]

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

- All right, everyone, synchronize watches now.

Good job, Lily.

All right, folks.

Let's have a sleepover.

- It's good to have you back, buddy.

- Hey! You're the first one in.

You're the second one in. You're the third one in--

- Um--uh, the most important thing is,

you're all here.

- No matter the order.

- Cue soothing music.

[gentle harp playing]

Todd, hit 'em with the calming lavender spray.

If the guests are relaxed, then Lynn's relaxed.

And if Lynn's relaxed, we're halfway home.

- Welcome to paradise, ladies.

[all coughing]

- Easy, Todd.

We're trying to soothe them, not drown them.

- This generation is so soft.

- Lana, Lola, party favors.

- Ladies, these are friendship bracelets.

- Courtesy of Lynn.

- I don't remember buying those.

both: You won them.

- Yes!

- These are so nice. Thank you. - Oh, my gosh.

- And a special one for the party host.

- Lisa, vitals.

- Perspiration, pulse,

and adrenaline levels all normal.

[alarm beeping] Uh-oh, wait.

Heart rate elevating?

What's going on down there?

[playing rock music on harp]

- Luna's rocking out.

♪ ♪

- Todd, do your thing.

[gentle harp music playing]

[all sighing]

Nice job, Todd.

- All right, let's get this slumber party started.

Atomic dodgeball in the backyard!

- Uh... - Darn it.

- Uh, you know what?

- Oh, we can't find the dodgeballs.

- Yeah. - Bet I can find them first.

- Dad, protect the dodgeballs.

- [mumbles] I'm on it.

[overlapping chatter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[groans]

Ding-dang D picture.

- I don't know where the dodgeballs went.

- No dodgeballs, huh?

Hey! [laughs]

We have an equally exciting activity

that I do at all my sleepovers.

Who's ready to party? [chuckles]

[tranquil harp music playing]

Zen gardening.

- We're done.

- Me too.

- This was...weird.

- Ugh, my rake keeps slipping.

Is this imitation sand?

Am I losing at Zen gardening?

Is somebody beating me? Ugh!

[alarm beeping]

- She's going for the table flip.

- Adrenaline spiking.

- [straining] - Let's get out of here

and get something to eat.

- Yeah. - Okay.

- [groans]

Ugh, it's like this thing is bolted to the floor!

- Snack time!

- Ooh, snack time.

- [sighs]

[smooth jazzy music]

- Got you covered, boss.

[tool whirring]

♪ ♪

- Dig in, ladies.

These are Clyde McBride's famous

let's-go-to-townie brownies.

- Yes! - Good! I'm so hungry.

- Is the main ingredient cork?

- [laughs] No.

- Brownies, Clyde?

There's a lot of sugar in brownies.

- Well, I actually call them "downies."

I substituted the sugar with kava kava root.

They use it to calm down dogs on airplanes.

- It tastes like I'm eating bark.

- Do we really have to finish these?

- These are awful.

Let's go play a game, you guys.

- How about this game?

- Yes! You guys are in trouble.

[cracking] I taught myself

to be double-jointed. - [groans]

- Right foot, blue!

[upbeat music]

Wow, look at that, six-way tie.

- We can't quit until there's a winner.

- Everybody's a winner.

- This makes me miss raking sand.

- Dinner time!

- Oh, yes! - Come on, let's go!

- So hungry.

- Please be better than the brownies.

- More warm milk?

- Thanks, Mom. - Mmm.

- This is so good.

- More warm milk?

- Ooh, it's already :.

[yawning]

[laughs] Who's ready for bed?

- Me. - [yawning] I'm ready.

[soft music]

- Okay, people.

We're in the final phase.

Only three minutes till HHP.

- That's "heads hit..."

all: Pillows. We know.

- Just say the words.

You're not saving any time.

- IHT.

[snaps fingers] I hear that.

- It's been an honor and a privilege

to work with you.

Now, Clyde, go get the sparkling cider.

It's celebration time.

- On it.

[all cheering]

[soft harp music playing]

- What are we having, a pillow fight?

[laughter]

- Did someone say "pillow fight"?

- [chuckles] No.

- Okay, cool.

- I just want to go to sleep.

I'm pretty tired, you know?

- Yeah. - Me too.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

- [sniffs]

Pillow fight!

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- Whoa!

[alarm beeping]

- Uh, Lincoln?

- Not now, Lisa.

We're congratulating ourselves.

[laughter, chatter]

[rapid beeping]

♪ ♪

- Nighty-night. - Stop!

We're wearing friendship bracelets.

♪ ♪

- Tiffany!

Lynn's a monster!

- Lincoln!

- [gasps]

[all groaning]

- [whimpering]

♪ ♪

Come pick me up!

Ah!

- [gasps]

- Mission accomplished.

Whoo!

Oh. Oh, no.

[cork pops]

- You know, my mother always said

the best thing about a broken bone

is that it gets stronger as it heals.

- [sobbing] Ow. It hurts.

- Between you and me, I'm pretty sure

Amber K. started the whole thing.

- I'm Amber K.

- There'll be another sleepover.

- Oh, wait a minute.

There's someone in the backyard.

[suspenseful music]

- Wait a minute. We still got one.

- That's Zia!

- She doesn't appear to be trying to escape.

- The sleepover's back on.

I repeat, the sleepover's back on.

- All right, ladies,

Operation Lynn-poster is a go.

- New plan. We have to make sure

Zia wakes up in this house tomorrow morning,

or Lynn will officially have no--

- No what, Lincoln?

No friends?

[somber music]

- Take care.

- Thank you for coming. [chuckles]

- Uh, you can keep the ice pack!

♪ ♪

That's fair.

- We're really sorry, Lynn.

- We were just trying to help.

- We know you have friends.

- Actually, I don't.

I think I'm too intense and competitive.

- What? - Competitive?

[overlapping chatter]

- People don't mind when we're in the heat of the battle

and I'm like, "You guys are playing like a bunch of losers!

Let's go!"

But when I'm off the field,

I don't know how to connect with people.

That's why everyone left.

- Well, there's one girl that didn't leave,

and there's got to be a reason for that.

- Maybe she has a concussion.

- Lana. - Dude, chill.

- Maybe she wants to be your friend.

- We can help you do this, but you have to trust us.

- [huffs]

All right.

I'm in.

- Here.

Put this earpiece in, and we'll do the rest.

[light music]

- This is a great root beer float.

- Thanks.

- What's with the helmet?

- "I always wear a helmet when I drink root beer."

- I always wear a helmet when I drink root beer.

Uh, it protects against brain freeze.

- Clyde, that's brilliant.

- Thanks. It really is true.

- My grandma makes the best root beer floats.

- Well, you should tell your grandma

to come over so I can-- - Lynn,

do not say you're going to destroy her grandma

at a root beer float-making contest.

Say...

- So we can have a girls' root beer float night.

- That sounds so fun.

- And we should invite all the sisters too.

- Yeah, we can invite my sisters too.

- What? I want to go on a root beer float night.

- It must be so fun having a big family.

- Yeah. Yeah, it's great.

- Ask her about her family.

- D-do you have a big family?

- I'm an only child.

[all muttering] - Only child.

- Big whoop. I'm an only child.

- Big whoop. I'm an only child.

- What?

- Okay, from now on,

no one else gets to talk but me.

- Yeah, nobody else talks but me.

- Why are you the only one that gets to talk?

- Because it's my plan. - Okay, so?

- Lynn, tell her a joke.

- You're a joke.

- You're a joke.

[overlapping arguing]

Stop pulling my hair! I have a pageant tomorrow!

[arguing continues]

- I have to go poop.

- I have to poop.

[microphone feedback screeches]

- Sure.

- I can't do this anymore.

[door opens and closes]

- Lynn? Lynn?

Can you hear me? [static buzzes]

- Look, she's in the backyard.

[tense music]

- Sweet mother of pearl.

She's got a soccer ball.

♪ ♪

- Come on, Zia, let's see what you got.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

Come on, Lynn. Pick it up!

♪ ♪

- Nice shot.

- Why are you complimenting me?

I'm winning.

- Winning or losing doesn't really matter to me.

- Oh, you don't think I see what you're trying to do here?

What are you trying to do here?

- Nothing. I just really don't care.

- But you're an elite athlete.

I mean, you're almost as good as I am.

- I'm actually better than you.

♪ ♪

Tie game, not that I care.

- Okay, you're freaking me out.

Why don't you care?

- My parents work all the time. So to make up for their guilt,

they put me in every sports camp known to man.

So I'm good at stuff because it's all I do.

But it doesn't matter to me.

I'm actually a world-class kayaker.

- I bet I'm better than you.

- Yeah, you probably are.

- Stop doing that.

[ball pops] - Oh, would you look at that?

I accidentally popped your ball on this stray knitting needle.

- I hear the words you're saying,

but they're not making any sense to me.

- Here, let me show you.

Hey, Spaghetti Arms, come over here.

[light music]

Yeah, sit down.

♪ ♪

Okay, say me and...

- Lincoln.

- Lincoln. That's a weird name.

Okay, me and Lincoln are gonna arm wrestle.

Wow.

Your hands are so tiny and smooth.

- Thank you?

- So I would obviously beat Lincoln.

- Well, I wasn't ready.

- But I get no joy from beating him.

But if we did it again, and this time he beat me...

♪ ♪

You can try now.

- [strained] I am.

- Oh.

- Take that. Whoo!

- See? That time, he won.

But I still don't care.

Let me show you one more time.

I can beat Lincoln over and over.

It just doesn't matter to me.

- So you're saying if I were to arm wrestle Lincoln...

- Why?

- I could beat him...

or lose to him...

Or beat him multiple times.

- Okay. I think everyone's made their points.

- How about we go grab my baby sister Lily

and see if she can beat Lincoln?

- Ha-ha. I could totally beat Lily.

Just give me a minute to ice down my arm.

- All right.

Come on, let's go get some ice cream.

[soft music]

[overlapping chatter] - Good job, Lincoln.

- Aw. They're getting along great.

- Mission accomplished.

It wasn't easy, but we all worked together as a team...

♪ ♪

And just like that,

Lynn completed her first sleepover

and made a friend.

[rooster crowing]

♪ ♪

- Thanks, Lynn. I had a blast.

- We should do this again sometime.

- Definitely.

♪ ♪

- How many times did she beat you in arm wrestling?

- Clyde, I'm an evolved man.

I don't need to defeat Lynn's friend

at some trivial contest just to feel good about myself.

I'll race you to the car!

[upbeat music]

- Nice try, Spaghetti Legs.

- One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb w*r.

Dang it.

- I'll see you later.

- Yeah.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪