03x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

[music playing]

Turn it over.

No one cares about postage, right?

Just hurry up.

[interposing voices]

Mary can you get Kate to get out of the way?

Come on.

Mom.

Just go home.

How many times do I have to tell?

I'm going.

All right.

Well, stop tidying up.

I'm going.

Go.

I've gone.

KATE: This is the bit I want to watch, OK?

This is it. - Who cares?

This is the bit I want to watch.

Just shush for one--

[interposing voices]

Just shush.

A spokesperson from the National Post Union

has confirmed the strike will be going ahead as planned for--

[interposing voices]

Hey.

Where is everyone?

Well, in bed I think.

[phone ringing]

Oh, yeah.

A woman's been calling you, Penny somebody.

That's probably her again.

Sounds a bit tipsy.

Oh.

Hello?

William.

It's Penelope, cousin Nicolas' ex.

Penelope. Hi.

How are you.

William, I'm your solicitor.

Sorry. You're my what?

Solicitor.

Yes.

Well, I have been since Nick died.

Silly sod left me his firm.

Bloody inconvenient actually, cause

I have my own in Eastbourne, which is

why I left thing as they were.

Anyway, prattle prattle.

I've amalgamated the firms and a rather lucrative job's

come up for you, the repatriation

of an unfortunate client from Frankfurt

who fell off a Hillside.

Walking accident.

Penelope, we don't actually do repatriations.

I think you'll find it worth your while.

No, Penelope.

Good.

Now, how should we proceed?

I have the papers in front of me.

And I'm in town.

So maybe we should, as they say, meet up?

[footsteps]

Hi.

MARY: Hey.

How was choir?

WILLIAM: Do you know?

I really enjoyed myself.

I didn't want to go.

But I thought, you know, energy, being positive, and it worked.

I had a really good time.

How's your evening?

Um.

What?

Well, it started well.

Thomas went down.

And I tidied up.

Yes, I noticed.

It looks great.

Yeah, I did the whole house.

Of course, the kids just sat there, not helping,

which made me want to scream.

And then, I found an application form in Brendan's bag.

He wants to be a plumber.

Don't be positive about that, William.

Please, just don't.

You know, there's nothing wrong with being a plumber,

but I don't know.

I'm just worried.

I'm just worried about the boys.

And you know, I'm worried--

I'm worried about mom.

And um, you know, and I want to be positive for her,

because, you know, she's so amazing and--

Yeah. Yeah, she is.

Molly is amazing.

You know, I just put it all onto you, don't I?

You know, I'm always saying, you know, you've got to be this.

We've got to be that.

And-- and you do it.

You know, like me telling you, be a better friend to Billie.

And I'm thinking, am I a good friend to Doris?

No.

You know, she's got a boyfriend for the first time in years.

And I am so unwelcoming.

Well, that's cause you don't like him.

You don't like the way he treats her.

Or maybe I'm just jealous.

You know, maybe I--

maybe I want Doris all for myself.

Maybe I prefer her single.

Anyway, I thought, let's invite Billie, Doris,

and Eamon for a dinner party.

You know, let's-- let's have our world

in this house for a change and stop the kids taking over.

Right.

Yeah.

When?

Friday.

What?

Well, you've got band practice tomorrow and--

Right.

OK.

Slightly OD-ing on Billie at the moment.

But hey, he's my friend.

I'll have to tell him to get some body armor.

Postman.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Kate's on the warpath.

Mind you, if Mrs. Ball doesn't get her passport tomorrow, you

better him to come in a tank.

Maybe I'll get Rick to drive her Petty France

in the morning.

So who is she?

Hello, is William there?

Oh, god.

Penelope, cousin Nicholas' ex.

Remember, you met her at the funeral?

I didn't go to the funeral.

Yes-- didn't you?

No. I didn't.

I was working.

But I seem to remember that you came home very drunk

with lipstick on your collar.

Uh huh. - No.

Don't joke.

She's awful. Awful.

One of those posh women that's always trying

to get people to do things.

She's a bully.

I swear she bullied Nick into marrying her.

Poor old Nicholas.

Do you ever think about him?

Yeah.

Occasionally.

Don't.

I'm doing my bit.

I'm on a diet.

It's boring the crap out of me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No.

I'm sorry.

You know I love your body.

Yeah, well, why'd you complain about it?

[phone ringing]

Hi.

Hey, victory!

Hi.

Rick here.

William.

Yeah, mission accomplished.

It's William.

Malta, here I come.

Yeah. Yeah.

She got her passport.

Yeah, Rick, great, but, look, listen.

When you get here, you've been doing

something else, all right?

Doing something else?

Well, you know, Arnold's going to the Cottswalds' next week.

ARNOLD: That's just a coincidence.

MRS. SPALDING: Coincidence, Arnold?

Coincidence? - Yes.

I just fancied a wee bit of sun.

Oh, a wee bit of sun?

Are you sure that's all you fancied?

I mean when did you two plan this?

You hear that?

Right, well, Arnold is not going

to the Cottswalds' next week.

Arnold just going to Malta with Mrs. Ball.

Blimey.

WILLIAM [PHONE]: Indeed.

If I were you, I'd stay out of it.

Right.

Fair enough.

Bye.

See you later.

Just checking you OK for tonight.

Haven't you got a picket line to go to or something?

ARNOLD: I can't.

MRS. SPALDING: Why not?

You found plenty of excuses when I asked you

to come to Weymouth last year.

Do you fancy lunch?

How's it going?

Touch heavy on the petunia oil,

but she's four centimeters.

Slow.

And her fella's arrived.

You know, the Latvian, the chef?

I can never remember his name.

Always looking at its body.

Doris, you're spoken for.

Yeah.

Oh, what are you and Eamon doing tomorrow night?

We want to invite you for dinner.

Oh, well, I mean, instant panic.

But oh.

Panic?

Well, just William.

He's-- you know, he's middle class.

If there's one thing that really gets up Eamon's nose it's--

What? Me?

A dinner party?

Yeah.

Yeah, all right.

It was Mary's idea.

Not mine.

Well, there you go.

What do you know, eh?

Tell her thank you for me, yeah?

Because you probably haven't noticed,

but I've had a bit of a downer on Mary.

Go away.

Well, I thought she changed you.

Well, she has.

MARY: He hasn't changed me.

Well, of course he has.

I mean, mostly for the good.

Yeah?

And what's the bad?

OK.

Brendan.

I mean, Brendan's a good boy.

He's a great boy.

And you should be proud of him.

No ifs or buts, you know?

But, you know, you're always judging him against Kate

and going to Oxford, as if that mattered diddly sh*t.

Listen, you should be warned.

You are not Kate's favorite species at the moment.

So be sensitive there.

She's waiting for a letter from Oxford

to tell her whether she's got in or not.

So maybe wear me postal uniform?

Yeah.

That's a good idea.

Jane?

She's inside now?

I told-- we don't do repatriations.

Look, William's lovely and the two of you

complement each other really well, but--

Hi.

I'm making lunch.

Do you want?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Whatever's on offer.

Yeah.

We'll be right there.

I'd have expected you would end up with someone like that.

Except I would've hated you then.

William.

Hi, Penelope.

Gosh.

You look wonderful, William.

So young and, gosh, so slim and trim.

Oh, thanks.

You look smashing too.

Oh.

It was lovely to hear your voice last night.

You sounded so like Nick, you lovely man.

Oh.

OK?

No.

I go now, OK?

No, no.

How was that?

It's better in here.

Least I'm not following Lukasz around.

You know, we don't tell them this,

but giving birth is actually quite hard for men.

I mean, all they can really do is watch

the women they love in pain.

So he's just a bit nervous.

He's just getting used to us being here that's all.

You wait.

We'll love his lunch.

PENELOPE: Don't mine me doing this, do you?

No. I don't.

Look, Penelope, there are undertakers

who specialize in repatriations, because, well, it's--

it's complicated.

And I, quite frankly, don't understand the paperwork.

Half of this is in German anyway.

So if I were you, I'd take it to one of the specialist firms.

Yes, but your name's already on the documents, William.

And the body arrives tonight.

Look, here it is.

- Tonight? - Yes.

The plane lands at nine.

There.

Now, I know it's for business, but does that

seem like your sort of place?

Excuse me.

I got to check something.

Oh, good.

It's raining in Malta.

Oh, and it's only 52 degrees.

What a shame.

Listen, can one of you rescue me?

Do you think?

Do you think we have a funeral or something?

Everything in order?

Well done.

And I've found us another restaurant.

I didn't think you liked that first one.

[knocking]

Philly.

Sorry, mate, just a quickie. WILLIAM: No, no.

Come in. Come in.

No. Look, I can't stop.

I just want to say, band rehearsal,

is now a gig for striking colleagues

outside the sorting office.

OK with you?

Appreciate the solidarity, William.

I'll phone through the details later.

Oh, William, are you still in a band?

Um, yes.

William, apologies, but we have

to be the crematorium by three.

Oh, god. Yes.

Thanks. Thanks, Arnold.

Penelope, I'm-- I'm-- - No, no.

Quite understand.

I'll just get my things.

William, sorry. Mary's on the phone.

It sounds urgent. - OK.

Yep. Thanks, Rick.

Lovely to see you. - No.

William, Mary really is on the phone.

I mean, really.

It's all right.

Please, take your call.

And well, as for dinner, I'll wait til you call me.

Bye bye.

Bye bye.

No need.

I'm sure I can manage.

Mary.

MARY [PHONE]: William?

Hi.

Listen, I'm out at a delivery and Mom just rang.

The hospital want to see her tomorrow.

They've got the tests back.

Did they give you indication?

Well, they're not going to say over the phone, are they?

No. Sorry.

Look-- look, Mom says she's fine looking after Thomas,

but I think she sounds tired.

So I'm gonna be working here til late.

Right, well, I'll ask Rick to go over.

William, will you just listen or I could do it myself?

Sorry.

MARY [PHONE]: Look, just listen.

Mom's not gonna tell Rick until tomorrow,

because-- because he's too worried already

and he just puts her on edge.

So can you please get the kids to help, yeah?

You know, the-- the kids take Mom out of herself.

And you-- you keep Rick out of the way.

Can you do that, do you think?

WILLIAM [PHONE]: Yes, yes, yes. OK.

Yes.

There's-- there's a job he can do for me tonight.

Thank you.

MRS. SPALDING: I don't think there's anything

more left to discuss, Arnold.

You think I'm a fool?

RICK: Come on, guys, guys.

ARNOLD: That's nonsense.

Rick.

Rick.

Don't get involved.

ARNOLD: I've never thought you were a fool.

I've always treated you with the utmost respect.

I promise you, it's a coincidence.

We booked through different travel agencies.

We're on different flights, with different airlines.

And in the same hotel.

[music playing]

So then, we're flying to Delhi and then we'll

get a train from Delhi, because you've

got to go to on an India train.

Callum, this is only gonna happen if I get in.

Until Postman Bloody Pat goes back to work,

I'm not gonna know, am I?

Kate, we're gonna go to India, whatever happens.

No.

Not if I don't get in, we're not.

And I don't think I will any more.

I haven't made any money yet.

Hello?

Oh, hi, dad.

It's my bank.

Kate, I don't often ask, but I need you to help me.

KATE: No.

Don't worry.

We're looking after Thomas now.

Molly's asleep on the sofa.

Yeah. Don't worry.

It's fine.

We'll look after everything.

Yeah.

We're here.

Thanks.

Bye.

Come on, Rosie.

Come on.

DORIS: You're all right.

That's OK.

[inaudible]

Lukasz, would you--

would you try something for me?

I think if you-- if you really look into Rosie, you know,

if you go to her and really, really look into her,

I think she'd sail through these contractions, you know.

I think half the pain, it would-- it would just go.

Would you-- would you try it for me?

Come on.

I'll do that.

Not too much.

OK.

Bad enough having a postal strike, now the fax is broken.

Can I have everyone in here, please?

Rick, you're working tonight.

I'm afraid we've got a repatriation to collect.

A what?

We're taking delivery of a body

from Frankfurt, a Mr. Hailton.

Oh.

Jane, we have no option.

She put our name on the documents.

Oh, like he died in Frankfurt.

No.

He died in Bavaria actually in a climbing accident.

So god knows what state he's going to be in, but yes.

Arnold.

Just wait for him to get here.

Who, Arnold?

Yes.

Do keep up, Rick.

Oh, OK. No, no.

You go on shouting.

I hope he can hear you in Malta.

He's gone on holidays, isn't he?

Well, his flight's not til the morning.

I sent him packing.

Sorry.

His presence was intolerable.

William, don't call him back in, please.

Sorry.

Jane, are you free tonight?

Of course.

Good.

All right.

Here's what's happening.

I'm not gonna be available til after 10.

Body gets into the airport at 9.

So Jane, you go with Rick to the airport,

which is good, because you'll be doing the red tape.

Then, we'll meet up back here.

And I'll do any necessary embalming.

That's good.

Yeah.

Any problems?

Yeah.

Good.

[music - "return to sender"]

[inaudible]

OK.

One more push.

Oh, and there.

[groaning]

[baby crying]

Hello.

How can an airport be shut?

There must be security staff there.

Well, if it's necessary, we'll call the police.

We haven't lost a suitcase that's decomposing--

answer machine.

Nevermind.

Penelope, can you call me as soon as you get this?

It's William.

I need to speak to you urgently.

There's been a major--

William.

Sorry.

I was in the--

William.

Right.

We'll take the crate back to the airport.

Good.

Yes.

And fax me the documents to the office.

Yeah.

Jane, can you fax those documents

over to the solicitor's--

No.

It'll be me bringing them.

The fax is down.

OK.

Can you photocopy them for me and then you go with Rick

to the airport with the clock?

OK.

Lukasz, you want to hold her?

Come on.

Have a look at her.

Look at me, I cook.

Mary, I need you.

Come on.

You have to.

DORIS: Mary. - Yeah.

Coming. Sorry.

No choice.

It's OK.

It's just the placenta.

Great. OK?

Great. There we are.

There we are.

Oh, look at them.

[german speech]

[doorbell]

Doris, if you want to go--

- Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go on. It's my turn.

I'll do the morning visit. - Oh, yeah?

Could you?

Cause I'm meeting Eamon's daughter tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah.

I didn't know he had one til last week.

It's good isn't it?

Anyway, I'll tell you how it went at the dinner party.

Lukasz, well done you.

Ciao, Doris.

See you later.

Bye.

PENELOPE: Yes, this office is really a flat.

Well, Nick lived here for three years when we first split up.

So there's a shower and that's a sofa bed and really

quite comfortable actually.

[phone ringing]

Penelope Thwait, yes.

Uh huh.

[german speech]

It's still in Frankfurt.

And all will be sorted tomorrow.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Penelope, god, thank you, Penelope.

Thank you, really.

No, no.

Now, let me make amends please.

How about that drink?

Now, a drink, yes?

Yes.

Yeah.

What would you like?

What would I like? I don't know.

Why don't I go and see what I've got?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Great.

[phone ringing]

William.

Oh.

Yeah.

Hang on.

Jane, they found it.

Yes, so-- so what do we do with the clock?

Yeah, if the airport'll take it.

Otherwise, just drop Jane home.

Yeah, yeah.

Then, you get back to Molly, Rick.

All right.

And thanks for everything.

And thank Jane for me as well.

All right.

Cheers, bye bye.

They're my best feature.

And they're yours, all yours.

Penelope.

You knew I would handle it.

Wait, wait, wait.

When you said your fax was out,

that's when I knew you wanted me.

WILLIAM: No.

And no one has to know.

Penelope, no.

And you remind me so much of Nick.

William. - Sorry.

Today has been very hard for me.

I know and you were brilliant.

Well done.

You have a beautiful wife and a very beautiful baby.

And how about beautiful midwife?

How about having her? - No.

Lukasz.

No.

No.

No.

Lukasz, no.

Lukasz.

No.

Mary, Mary, Mary, your bag.

If you ever--

ever come near me again--

But you left your bag.

Just put it on the floor.

Go back inside.

Lukasz, I have to come here in the morning

to see Rosie and the baby, OK?

Just-- just don't be here.

[creak]

[door opens]

Hi.

You stink of perfume.

What?

MARY: You stink.

Oh, god.

You stink of it.

Yeah.

I know what that is. - Get out.

What? Mary.

Get out.

Mary.

Just-- just get out.

No.

Don't touch me.

Just get out.

Mary.

Shut up.

[baby crying]

Thomas, Thomas, Thomas.

It's all right. It's all right.

It's all right.

It's all right.

Spokesperson today confirmed that further talks

with the union have failed.

[inaudible]

Kate, really.

Now, look what you've done.

Mary.

I'm not interested.

Oh, I've got a home visit.

And then, Rick and I are going with Mom to the hospital.

So Rick won't be in today.

You'll have to do the cooking for the dinner party.

William, I cook for you.

What would you like?

No.

You've got to go to Malta this afternoon.

You got a plane to catch.

Exactly.

Yes.

I hate flying.

It I'll take my mind off it.

Morning.

Morning.

Listen, listen, listen.

Hey, Mary, listen. Hey, listen.

NEIGHBOR: You all right, love?

She's friend of mine.

She's friend.

I have a big story to say, don't I?

It's fine.

For last night, what can I say?

I was, you know--

I rush things between us.

It's fault. But what you make me feel, Mary--

Lukasz, I have no interest in you, none whatsoever.

In fact, I have less than none.

Oh, come on.

You play me all day, always getting close, always

touching whenever you can.

I was encouraging you to help Rosie, because-- because I

felt that she needed it.

And she did and-- and you did help her.

So you don't want to, you know, with me--

Rosie-- no.

No.

Never.

Rosie is in there.

She had your baby last night.

Yeah.

She's got what she wants.

And what's that to you?

What do you know about us, huh?

You know everything, do you?

She wanted the child.

I wanted a roof over my head.

She's got her child and I'm no b*stard.

I make sure that both are OK.

But now, I go.

I'm not one for kids.

She knows this.

She knows the deal.

And I can go.

I'm chef.

I work anywhere.

I can get another roof.

I mean, maybe I hang around, if you offer something.

No?

OK.

It's pity, but OK.

[doorbell]

WILLIAM: Brendan, can you get that, please?

I think it's Mrs. Ball's cab.

Mrs. Ball.

Is she ready?

Yeah, she'll be ready in a minute.

WILLIAM: Mrs. Ball.

[phone ringing]

Come on.

You've got to go.

I can do that.

Your cab's here.

You've got to go to the airport.

Brendan.

Go on.

I'll take it.

[inaudible]

WILLIAM: Well, give my regards to Malta, Mrs. Ball.

Arnold, I thought you'd already gone.

Don't tell Jane.

WILLIAM: Well, have a lovely time you two.

Have a lovely time, Mr. Ball.

Bye. WILLIAM: Bye.

Bye.

Hello.

Jane.

Hello, Jane.

The Penelope woman phoned.

She's booked a table for the two of you

at the [inaudible] restaurant tonight.

No, no.

No, no, no, no.

I can't.

And Jane sorry to do this to you,

but could you call her back and tell her

we're having a dinner party?

Would you like to come?

No thank you.

Sorry.

Must get on.

I just wish she would let me go in with her, you know?

So I hear it too.

So I'm not left trying to guess what she's gonna leave out.

[inaudible]

Jane, Jane, Jane's like a woman scorned, I tell you.

Mad.

What?

Mom.

What?

What did they say?

OK, OK, OK.

Well, it hasn't spread.

But it hasn't gone.

It's still there.

So in for a penny, in pound.

We're trying radiotherapy on top.

Come on.

I'm taking you home.

I don't want to go home.

I want to do something.

All right.

Well, Thomas and I can offer ducks in the park, can't we?

And-- and a dinner party.

See?

That's how to give a girl a good time.

You make her an offer.

Come on, sweetie.

Let's go see the ducks.

[interposing voices]

Sorry.

Just to say that all of this, the food and everything

has been prepared by Mrs. Ball, who, as we speak,

is probably landing in Malta.

Oh.

No, Terrence, don't sit.

No, no, no, no.

Mom.

Oh, I'm so sorry, but there--

there's 13 at table.

Now, I know it's a silly superstition,

but I'm just funny about things like that at the moment.

I'm sorry. No, no, no.

I'll go. I'll go.

I'm just spoiling everything.

And I-- I can't eat the food anyway.

I'm just gonna--

Right. Well, please, start.

Come on.

Please start.

Here you are, sweetheart.

I've got something for you.

I don't know who it's from, but it's got Oxford

University crest written on it.

Dad, I'm going upstairs to open this.

Yeah.

There you go.

One each for you two.

And I don't know who they're from.

I didn't bring all your bills.

Oh, thanks.

Bloody hell.

- Oh, sh*t. - Letters from Dad.

He's in Brighton.

Mom, look what Billie brought in--

Dad's written.

He's in Brighton.

And there's a number.

[inaudible]

Well, I didn't know, did I?

I just slipped into the sorting office, well, for Kate really.

And I saw those for the lads.

And I thought, well, they'd've come in the end, wouldn't they?

Sorry.

Excuse me.

I don't understand.

Billie's a postman.

Oh.

Oh, nice.

Nice.

Lovely.

Great.

So-- so you just slipped into a sorting office

and helped yourself to the letters.

Lovely.

Well, that's comforting for all of us, isn't it?

Mind you you're all bleeding thieves anyway, aren't you?

DORIS: Eamon.

Beg your pardon?

I think you heard.

Right.

Look, you eat up.

I just want to go and check on Kate.

She had a letter from Oxford.

I'll get that.

And what do you do for a living?

Sorry.

I don't know your name.

By the way, great shirt.

I work, my friend.

Get off.

Get us a drink.

WILLIAM: Mary, it's for you.

Yeah.

I'll be back in a minute.

Hi, Mary.

It's Rosie.

Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm good.

I'm great.

Listen, my sister's invited me down.

And so I just needed to know, should I register

with the midwife there?

She's in Devon.

Rosie, you sure you're all right?

OK.

All right.

Give me the address and I'll get a contact for you.

Let me just-- let me just get a pen.

OK.

Mom, get off the phone.

We want to call Dad.

MARY: Just hang on a minute.

[baby crying]

What?

I didn't get in.

Oxford don't want me.

Oh, Katie.

Oh, Dad, go away.

Go and look after Thomas.

I'm more than happy, mate.

Respect to our host, that's all.

Keep walking, as*h*le.

I'm right behind you. - Eamon--

Stay here.

Keep out of this.

Be all right.

Be all right.

Yeah.

I've got it.

Got it.

Rosie, look, do me a favor.

Keep in touch, will you?

And call me when you get back.

Yeah? All right.

Bye.

Mom, we're on the phone now, calling Dad.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

That's just great, isn't it?

That's just terrific.

Ruben back on the scene.

That's all we need.

What?

She didn't get in.

Kate didn't get into Oxford.

Don't smile, Mary.

William.

What?

what?

Sorry.

Sorry.

I can just still smell that perfume.

Oh, look, Julia, take Thomas, will you?

Just go away.

William.

No.

I need to tell you this.

Julia, please, just go.

Come on, Tom, Tom.

[inaudible]

It was Penelope, all right?

Cousin Nicholas' ex Penelope.

I was in the office last night and she-- suddenly

she was undoing her blouse and she leapt at me,

like with no clothes on at all.

What?

Well, nothing happened.

And we're getting another solicitor.

Please, leave that.

Look, I need to explain this to you.

I was there on business.

We had to collect a body.

All right.

Sorry.

Billie and Eamon are having a fight out in the street.

What?

[interposing voices]

William's secretary didn't say what time.

So I assumed 8 for 8:30.

Hope I'm not late.

Sorry.

I'm Penelope.

Oh.

Hello, William.

[music playing]