02x16 - Twin Henrys

[bunniefuu]

[ music ]

- Okay, we still have...
two minutes left!

You turn on the TV,
I'll get the drinks!

- Okay!
- All right.

Dude, what are you doing?
The remote's right there.

- Remote?

What is this, 1988?

- I... I don't know...
what you...

- I got this cool new app
on my phone that lets me

control any TV
with voice commands.

- Dude, we don't have
time for that!

- Hey, what are
you guys doin'?

- We're watching Dog Judge.

- Ooh, I wanna
watch Dog Judge.

- Yeah, every thinking
person in America

wants to watch Dog Judge.

[ chuckles ]

- All right.
Check this out.

Sync with Vogio TV.

- Unable to connect.
- Ahh!

- Come on, we wanna
watch Dog Judge!

- Just, just wait a sec.

Sync with Vogio TV.

- Connected.

- Yes! Okay, now...
Turn TV on.

- I'm sorry,
I didn't get that.

Please repeat instruction.

- Ahh!

- Turn... TV... on.

- Confirm password.

- I put my password
in yesterday!

I have to put my password
in every time?

- Yes.
- Okay.

BigPoppaJasper84.

- Correct.

- Ha!
Turn on Dog Judge.

- Searching...
Frog Fudge.

- No!

[ sighs ]

[ dog barks ]

[ gavel pounds ]

- Your honor, permission
to approach the bench?

[ barks ]

- Hey, guys.

- Your honor,
the defense rests.

- Family meeting time.
- No, no. Not now--

Dog Judge is ruling
on a death penalty case.

- You can't convict me!
I didn't do it!

And how are you
even a judge?

[ laughing ]

- Dad!
- Dude!

- Family meeting time.

- We can't have
a family meeting.

Mom's in Detroit.

- Ooo-oo-oo-oo,
I'll fill in for your mom!

- Gross!

- Can I?

- I don't care.

- Okay, what's this about?

- Okay. Tomorrow, your
Uncle Mark will be in town

and he's coming
here for dinner.

- Oh no!
- Oh my gosh!

- Uncle Hair Neck?

- You are not to call
him Uncle Hair Neck!

- Why?
You've seen his neck!

- And that bush
that grows from it!

- All right!

Mark is my stepbrother
and that makes him

a part of this family.

- Dad, I don't even--
- Henry Quincy Hart.

- Not my middle name.

- Now you are to be here
for dinner tomorrow night,

at seven o'clock.

And no one is to say anything

about Uncle Mark's
neck bush when he is here.

- Okay, fine.
- Yeah, whatever.

- It all just
kind of happened.

- My dad was
an irresponsible scientist.

- I wanted an afterschool job.

- And by accident,
he made me indestructible.

Ah!

- I went into this crazy store
and met

a pretty interesting guy.

- I'm going to blow your mind.

Now I protect
the good citizens of Swellview

who call me...
- And he turned out to be...

- You know the name.
- Captain Man!

- That's right, Henry.

In time, I realized
that being a superhero

is a lot to handle alone.

- He wanted some help.
- I needed a sidekick.

- I, Henry Hart...

- Pledge to never ever ever
tell anyone...

- That I'm Captain Man's
secret sidekick.

- It is done.
- Now we blow bubbles.

- And fight crime.
- Feels good.

- Call it.
- Up the tube!

Oh, my boot.

- Ha!

[ music ]

- Okay, Charlotte...

if your attacker
has a weapon,

you wanna confuse him with
some rapid hand movements.

Act like you're gonna
blast me.

[ growls ]

- Now watch this.

- All right Charlotte,
now you try.

- No, thank you.

[ grunts ]

- I don't need
to know how to fight.

- Sure you do. Now...

I'm gonna teach you
the yoink maneuver.

Try to knock me down.

Try to knock me down.

Come on Charlotte.
Come on Charlotte.

What you got Charlotte?
Come on. Wait--

[ laughing ]

- What was that?

- You got yoinked.

- Okay, I finished test
firing all the rockets.

They all work.

But now we need new rockets.

- Bork, hit the showers.

[ grunts ]

- Hey! You pumped for
the big fight tonight?

- The... the big what?

- The big fight,
on TV tonight.

- Shelly Cratch
against Carla Dexter?

- Oh yeah!
Yeah-yeah-yeah.

I totally forgot about that!

Oh man, that fight
is gonna be so goo...

Awww no...

No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, dang it!

- Ahh!

He blasted my popcorn.

- What are you upset about?

- Man! I gotta go home.

My Uncle Hair Neck's
in town,

so now I gotta be at a dumb,
stupid family dinner!

- No!
No, no, no!

- We have to watch
the fight here together.

- Yeah, I spent 99 dollars
on the pay-per-view!

- Hey, everyone!
I bet you didn't miss me!

[ cackling ]

- What the--
- How can--

[ confused babbling ]

- No, no, no, no, no, no,
don't blast us!

I'm the real me.

- Then who's that?

- Gerta!

- Hey.

- That's your shape-shifting
android girlfriend?

- Yah. Look...

[ speaking foreign language ]

- Well, wait,
where've you been?

- I went on vacation,
to Turks and Caicos!

I've been gone three weeks!

- Hey, I never said you
could take a vacation.

- You never said I could
borrow your underwear

either but I did that, too.

- Wow, Schwoz...

I had no idea this
wasn't you.

- That's because, before I left,
I made Gerta even better.

Now she can assume the shape
of any person in the world,

and nobody could tell it
wasn't the real person.

- Can you feel that?

Can you feel that?

- Can you feel that?

- Hey, Schwoz, could
Gerta morph into Henry?

- Yeah, she can be anybody. Why?

- Because...

What if fake Henry goes to
your family dinner tonight...

- ...while real
Henry hangs here with us

and watches
the Cratch-Dexter fight?

- Love it!

- Hey, I thought of it!

Don't point at him
and say, "Love it!"

- Schwoz, turn
Gerta into Henry.

- Easy schleezy.

- Wow!
- Whoa!

- But wait, how do you get the
android to act like Henry?

- When I scanned Henry's body,
it also scans his brain waves.

- Ah, so that fake
Henry will react

and respond like
real Henry would?

- Sure.

- Okay, okay, okay,
let's test this thing out.

All right.
[ clears throat ]

'Sup?
- 'Sup?

- Oh my...

Okay, okay... Uh...
How ya feelin'?

- Feelin' good.

- Ehhhh... I see it.
Okay, okay... Uh, mmm.

What's your favorite color?
- Red.

- Favorite food?
- Pizza.

- Topping?
- 'Roni.

- Whoa!

I also shorten the word
pepperoni by only saying 'roni!

Oh! Okay okay okay,
here's a hard one.

Here's a hard one.
Okay.

What crazy thing happened to
me at camp when I was nine?

- You mean when
you threw up in a canoe

and you didn't want anyone
to know it was you

so you told everyone it
was Jasper's vomit?

- I'm the only one
who knows that!

Oh my God!

- Great, so you just
stay here and--

- And send Gerta to your
house for dinner right now!

- Love it!
- Oh c'mon!

- Okay, Gerta,
you go to Henry's house.

But afterwards you
come right home.

- Wait!

- What?

- Nothin'... you're just...
you're really good lookin'.

- I know.
- Hey!

- Up the tube!

- That's what I say!

[ laughing ]

- Eventually it grew
back though, so...

- Yeah! It grew back but
I didn't think it would.

I mean, I feel like it really--
- Oh, those were the days.

- Hey, there's my boy.

Henry look,
it's your Uncle Mark.

[ beeping ]

- Hey there, Uncle Mark.

- Henry Hart, holy geez,
look how tall you got!

Knock knock,
who's there, puberty!

[ laughs ]

Whabam!

Ha-- You feel like
you're made of iron!

- Actually, I'm made of a
liquid metal alloy that's

over four hundred times
stronger than iron.

[ laughing ]

- I hope you
three handsome men are hungry!

Dinner'll be ready
in five minutes!

- Hi.

- Ah, finally, there's Piper.

- Yeah, here's me.

- Hey, Piper, I brought
you a present!

- Ah, that's okay I really--
- Guess what it is!

- I don't--

- It's a free ticket to
Uncle Mark's merry-go-round!

- No, please don't!
I don't like this!

[ Uncle Mark hums ]

That's enough!
We've had our fun, please!

This is making me dizzy.
I'm not kidding!

Please put me down!

[ laughing ]

[ beeping ]

- Oh! Henry?
Do me a favor

and take the turkey
out of the oven.

- Sure thing.

- So, Piper, why don't
you tell Uncle Mark

how you got all A's
and B's last semester?

- I got all A's and
B's last semester.

[ sizzling ]

- No, Henry!
You gotta use the potholders!

- Oh, uhhh...

It's not that hot.

- But it's been in the oven

at four hundred degrees
for three hours!

- Cool.

[ screams ]

[ music ]

- Carla Dexter
looking better

than she has ever
looked in her career.

- True, but the question is,
can anyone defeat

the fighting machine
that is Shelly Cratch?

- I guess we won't know
'til we know.

- Ah, what's wrong
with the TV?

- Ah, it's been
doin' that all day.

Schwoz, can't you
fix the picture?

- Lemme see.

- So, Henry, who do you think
is going to win the fight?

- Oh man, I gotta go
with Dexter.

- Ah, come on, dude! No.

- Okay, I fixed the picture!

- Woo! C'mon you guys,
the fight's about to start!

- All right!
- Ha-ha-ha!

- Hey, when did we get
these new glasses?

- Oh, I picked these up at
Sassy Glasses last weekend.

- Ah.

Cool blue color.

- Yeah. Well actually,
they're uh, cobalt, so...

- Cobalt is just
a shade of blue.

- Mmmm, not exactly.
Huh, okay.

- 'Kay, well anyway,
it's not even cobalt,

it's more of a royal blue.

- No, it's not royal.

- Fighter on the left,
are you ready?

Ready on the right?

- C'mon, Shelby!
- You can do it, Carla!

- This glass is royal blue.
- It's cobalt!

- Okay.

- And fight!
- It's royal blue.

You don't know your colors.
- It's cobalt.

Dude, you don't know anything.

- Did you see that?

[ overlapping dialogue ]

[ cheering ]

- It's over!

- That's it!
- That was amazing!

- Wait, wait, wait,
what happened?!?

- Did- did- did-
did the fight start?

- Yeah, and it's over!

- It was the most incredible
fight I've ever seen!

- What?
- What?

- No! Play it back!
Play it back! Play it back!

- Okay, calm down,
I'll play it back!

- Ah, dang it,
the picture's out again.

- Aw, no!
- Why?

- Man, that was a fight
I'll never forget.

[ Bork growls ]
- It was glorious.

- Oh, be quiet, Schwoz!
You're still a weirdo!

- Man! I can't believe
I missed the fight!

I sent that stupid robot
to my house for nothing!

- Hey, don't talk
about Gerta that way.

She's my woman.

- Y'know, maybe
you should go home,

and send Gerta back here.

- Yah, yah, and hurry.
I want to celebrate with her!

- Hey... When did we get
these royal blue glasses?

- Ha!

- Dang it, Charlotte!

- Hey.
- 'Sup?

- This.

- Hello, Henry.

- Hey.

So, I'm back, and
Schwoz wants you,

so you should go on
back to the Man Cave.

- Why Schwoz want me?

- I dunno, I guess
you're his girlfriend.

I dunno. Here, just
go out this window,

and then climb down this tree.

- What if I am scared
to go out window?

- Ah, it's easy.

See, you just take a little
jump to this big tree--

[ screams ]

[ speaking foreign language ]

[ clears throat ]

- I look good.

- Stupid Gerta, pushing me
out my own window.

[ beeping ]

- C'mon, c'mon, Ray, answer.

- Ray!
- Hey, Henry, look--

I'm drinking out of
my cobalt blue glass.

- Forget about the glass!
Where's Schwoz?

- Here, why?

- 'Cause Gerta just
threw me out my window.

So now, I need you,
Charlotte and Schwoz

to come here and get
her outta my house.

- What color is this glass?

- What?

- Admit that
this glass is cobalt,

maybe we'll come help you.

- It's cobalt.

- I'm sorry, what is it?

- It's cobalt!

It's cobalt, cobalt, cobalt!
It's a cobalt blue glass!

- Yeah, I know.

- What?

- So, how's that turkey?

- Eh... I've had better.

- Aw, man, there's a fly
on the corn bread.

Where's the fly swatter?

- No worries-- I got it.

[ inhales ]

- What?

- You just mouth-vacuumed that
fly and swallowed it whole.

- That's disgusting.

- Uh, sorry.

[ gags ]

- Hey, everybody.

- Hey, Charlotte!
- Hi!

- Oh! Hi Charlotte!
- Hey, Charlotte!

- Hey, I'm really sorry
to interrupt your dinner,

but this is
kind of important.

Henry, can I talk
to you upstairs?

- Oh! Sure.
One second.

- Hey. Guess what?

- What?

[ screams ]

[ laughing ]

- I- I just don't
understand why Gerta

would throw you
out the window.

- Maybe Henry made her mad?

- No!
No, no, no, no, no.

I programmed Gerta to be
my girlfriend and love me.

She has no other emotions.

- Well, can you program
her to leave my house?

'Cause I'd really like her
to leave my house.

- Okay, here's Gerta,
you asked me to get her

so I got her and
now I have homework to do

so out the window I go.

Bye!

- Gerta, baby.

Why did you throw
Henry out the window?

Did he try something?

- Uh, no.

- Schwoz, look,
this isn't easy to say.

- Sweetheart, I made you.

You can tell me anything.

- You're very special.
You're a lovely man.

And I do love you,
so much.

- Okay, this is so weird.

- Shh.

This is a touching moment
between a man and his android.

- Baby, I don't understand
what you're trying to tell me.

- I'm saying that
I love you,

but I'm not
in love with you.

- Ooh, ouch.

- I... I feel human now.

And when we cuddle,
it's like--

- Okay!
All right, okay, come on!

If you two are gonna keep
talking like this

can you please turn Gerta
back into her normal self?

Thank you.

- I don't want to be
your Gerta anymore.

I need to be free.

- I understand.

- Thank you, my Schwoz.

- Okay. I will click
this remote now.

But you, my Gerta,

you may choose any form
you wish to become.

Are you ready?

[ bird vocalizes ]

- Whoa.

- Man, that's
a good-lookin' bird.

- Dude, she like just
broke with up me.

- Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry.

[ bird vocalizes ]

- I will always love you,
too, Gerta-Bird.

- Whoa, look at her fly.

- Yeah!

Hey!
She just pooped on my bike!

- Ahhh... that's my Gerta.

[ oven bell ]

- Mmm...