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02x06 - The Time Jerker

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Henry Danger". Aired: July 26, 2014 - March 21, 2020.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.

02x06 - The Time Jerker

Post by bunniefuu »

[ Music ]

[ alarm beeping ]

♪ Good morning to you. ♪

♪ Good morning to you. ♪

♪ Welcome to Wednesday, ♪

♪ your face looks like poo. ♪

- Ray.

It's : in the morning.

- So? You wake up at :.



- Yeah, I had



three minutes left.



You k*lled three minutes

of my sleep joy.

- Well, I have a good reason.

Who's one of the worst people

in Swellview?



- You?



- Wrong.



Henry, we're this close

to capturing the Time Jerker.

- No way.

- Yeah.

- You figured out where he is?

- No.

I just wanted to tell you

that I might beep you later

if we get a fix

on the Time Jerker's location.

- So, you beeped me now

to tell me that

you might beep me later?

- Yes.



And I also wanted to tell you



about the full moon.



- What full moon?

- This one.

- Henry?

- [ groans ] Yeah, Mom?



- Will you look out your window



and see if that hornets nest



is back?

- Why?



Dad got rid of that



hornets nest last weekend.





- Well, what if the hornets



came back?



- I'm sure they're not--

- Go look out the window.

[ buzzing ]



- They're back.



They're back.



Oh my god, they're back.

A cake.

Why is there a cake here?

Mm. Not bad.

- Got it.

You've been caked.

- What is wrong with you?

Do you know how bad

that freaked me out?

- Hey.

everything okay in here?



- Yeah.



- No.



- I caked him.



- You did?



- Yeah.





- Cool, did you get it



on video?



- Yeah. Watch.

- Mm. Not bad.

Dad.

You're laughing?

- Well, yeah, she caked you.

- You're not going

to punish her?



- Why?



She didn't do it to be mean.





- It was only



to get a funny video



that I can post online.

- It's just good content.

- Content is king.

- Mm. Not bad.

- It all just kind of happened.

- My dad was

an irresponsible scientist.

- I wanted an after-school job.

- And by accident,

he made me indestructible.

Ah!

- I went into this crazy store

and met

a pretty interesting guy.

- I'm going to blow your mind.

Now I protect

the good citizens of Swellview.

who call me…

- He turned out to be…

- You know the name.

- Captain Man!

- That's right, Henry.

In time, I realized that

being a superhero

is a lot to handle alone.

- He wanted some help.

- I needed a sidekick.

- I, Henry Hart…

- Pledge to never ever ever

tell anyone…

- That I'm Captain Man's

secret sidekick.

- It is done.

- Now we blow bubbles.

- And fight crime.

- Feels good.



- Call it.



- Up the tube!



Oh, my boot.

- Ha!

- Hey, Hart.

So, whenever I taste

a really good cake,

you know what I always say?

- What, Mitch?

- Ah, ah, ah.

- Yeah, we're laughing

at your expense.

- Okay, okay.

So, everybody has seen

my sister's video?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, great, that's terrific.

- Hey, Henry, how goes it?

- Awful.

It goes awful.

- What's the matter?

- Well, first, Ray woke me up

three minutes early,

and then I was attacked

by hornets,

and then Piper caked me

and got it on video.

- [ laughing ] Yeah, I know.

- You watched it?

- Just once.

Or times, I'm not sure.

- Nice, real nice.

- Oh, hey, will you take notes

for me in class?

I got to go to my big interview.

- For what?

- The Language, Information,

and Math Program.

- Oh yeah.

LIMP.

- It's not called "LIMP."

- L-I-M-P.

LIMP.



- That's just



an unfortunate acronym.



- What, Jasper?



- Oh, hey.



I didn't see you guys here.



- Yeah you did.



- And clearly you want us



to ask you



about whatever that is.

- No I don't.

I built it myself.

It's a perfect scale model

of the Nakatomi Tower

made entirely out of toothpicks.

It took me three months.

- Why would you do that?

- For my art class.

My semester project.

- Give it back.

- No way.

- It's my property.

Give it.

- No.

- Hey guys, what's going on?

- Sidney brought

this avocado to school.

- So?

That's my business.

- Avocados are full of fat.

- The good fat.

- There is no good fat.

- Okay, Oliver,

that's Sidney's avocado.

Give it back to him.

- Fine, take it, jerk.

- Okay, wait--

[ groaning ]

- See what avocados do?

- Ugh.

- Wait, let's make up.

- I don't want to.

- You okay, Hen?

- [ grunts ]

[ elevator dings ]

- Stop.

What are you doing in my house?

- Your house?

- Yeah. Just play along.

Pretend you're a burglar.

- Okay.

I'm a burglar.

- Oh yeah?

Well, I have this weapon.

Now, yank it from me.

- All right.

- Oh no.

You yanked away my weapon,

so now I'm defenseless.

Now, blast me.

- Ow.

- [ laughs ]

- What the butt, Schwoz?

- I just made this.

It shoots backwards.

- Yeah, I know.



- You can use it



to trick bad guys or bad ladies.





- Well, couldn't you



just have explained that





without making me



blast myself in the face?





- I don't see how.



- Okay.



[ alarm beeping ]

Will you just tell me next time?

- I did it.

[ screams ] I did it.

- What did you do?

- I got into the Language,

Information, and Math Program.

- LIMP?

- They don't call it "LIMP."

- Well, congrats, Char,

I'm really proud of you.

- Yay, me too.

[ computer beeping ]

- [ gasps ] Ay.

- Ugh.

Oh my god, Schwoz.

- I know, I know,

I'm swiping and tapping.

Ooh.

- You see sector G?

- Yeah, I see it.

And look at transformer .

- Yeah.

We got him.

- Booyaboo.

- What just happened?



- We just figured out



the location of the Time Jerker.



- No way.

- Way yes.

Ray, guess what happened to me?

- Eh.

- How did you guys pinpoint

his location?



- See, when you use



a time machine,



it sucks down a massive amount

of electricity.



- And the computer



just picked up



a major power suck,

so we triangulated the source.



- And boom,



we got his location.





- He's on top



of the Swellview clock tower.



- I got into the Language,

Information, and Math Program.

It's really prestigious.

- Come on, kid.

It's time we tell

the Time Jerker what time it is.

- Yeah.

Jail o'clock.

- Let's blow.

Come on.

Oh, Charlotte.

Congrats on getting into LIMP.

- Thanks.

But it's not called "LIMP."

- [ both ] Up the tube.

- LIMP.

[ laughs ]

Congratulations.

- Ugh.



I don't feel like



taking this trash downstairs.



Ha.

I'll just set my time machine

to million years ago.

And now…

Eat my trash, dinosaurs.

Whoohoo. [ laughs ]

- Well, Hello, Time Jerker.

- Yeah.

Hello.

- Captain Man and Kid Danger.

I had a feeling you'd find me…

in time.

- Oh, is that how it is?

You're the Time Jerker,

so when you say things,

you use a bunch of puns

about time and clocks and stuff?

- I'll answer that question…

if you give me a minute.

- Ugh. He did it again.

- I heard.



You know,



we can make time puns, too.



- Hmm. I'd like

to "watch" you do that.

- Geez.

Yeah, I'm going to punch

the "daylight savings time"

out of you.

- That was "alarmingly" bad.

- Okay. [ mumbles ]

- I got one, I got one.

- Go, go, go.

- Okay, Time Jerker.

I see you walk the walk,

but can you,

can you tick the tock?

- That one was so awful,

you deserve a "time out."

- Dang it.

- That's right.

Tomorrow you two

will be yesterday's news

for my patience with you

has passed.

- Oh my God.



- He's great at that.



- Okay.





Maybe we're not great



at coming up



with time-related puns.



- But we can still



put you in jail.



- Stop right there,

Captain Man.

You see, I'm the one criminal

in Swellview that

you can't capture.

Because I can simply leap

through my time portal

and go back to this morning

before you figured out

where I was…

am…

will be.

Ah, you know what I mean.

- [ grunts ]

- You come one inch

closer to me,

and I'll jump through.

- Unh-unh.

You're not going anywhere

near that time portal.

- [ chuckles ]

Hey.

You get away

from my time portal.

- You put down that nine.

- It's a six, idiot.



And it's made



of thick heavy metal.





- Why should we care



what it's made out of?



- Oh, you'll care

when I throw it at you

with all my might.

- Maybe you haven't heard.

I'm handsome and indestructible.

- Well, Kid Danger is neither.

- Hey.

- Dude.

- What the heck? I mean--

Aah.

- Aah.

You can't defeat me.

- Time will tell.

- I hate your stupid puns.

Kid Danger.

A little help?

- Aah!

- Kid Danger!

- I did it!

[ alarm beeping ]

♪ Good morning to you. ♪

♪ Good morning to you. ♪

♪ Welcome to Wednesday, ♪

♪ your face looks like poo. ♪

- Oh no.

I've gone back to the…

morning.

[ alarm beeping ]

- Hi, Ray.

- You know, hanging up



on your boss is not a nice way



to start the day.





- Hang on.



What day is this?



- Wednesday.

- Ugh.

- I'm sorry, did you just say,

ugh?

- Yeah, I did.

- Well, guess what?



I've got some



very interesting news for you.





- I know.



You're this close



to capturing the Time Jerker

as soon as you and Schwoz get

an exact fix on his location.



- Yeah, but how did you



know that?



- Because I've gone back in--

- Henry?

- Yeah, Mom?



- Will you look out your window



and see--





- See if the hornets nest



is back?



- Yeah.



How did you know I was going



to ask you to do that?



- Well…

I…

I mean…

I have no explanation.

- Well, do it, all right?

- This is insane.

I'm reliving this whole day.

[ chuckles ]

- Come and get me, hornets!

[ buzzing ]

Yeah.

Sorry, hornets…

for your deaths.

Now I…

Piper.

[ buzzing ]

- [ screaming ]

- [ laughing ]

- Why did you do that?

You almost k*lled me.



- Well, how should I have known



that you were



hiding under there?

- Well, still.

Who walks up to a cake

and shoves a mop handle

down into it?

- It's a new thing

going around the internet.

It's called "mopping."

You've been mopped.

- Hey.

Is everything okay in here?

- No.

- Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

- Hey.

Hey, Hart.

- Yeah.

Mitch.

You got something to say?

- Yeah, I…

I feel like making fun of you…

for…

something.

- And?

- [ laughs ]

Yeah, I can't think of nothing.

- Well, have a nice day.

- You have a nice day.

- Hey, Henry, how goes it?

- Awesome.

It goes awesome.

- Why?

- Come with me.

I've already lived this day.

- Oh.

- And the first time,

it was awful.



But now that I know



everything bad that's going



to happen, I'm making sure

it all goes good.

- Yeah, why don't we take

a walk to the school nurse?

- Look, I'm not crazy.

And…



And good luck



with your big interview



for LIMP.

- It's not called "LIMP."

And how do you know

about my interview?

- I told you,

I've already lived this day

and I know you get in.

- I do?

- Yep. And now here comes

Jasper again, pretending

he didn't see us guys here.

Hey, Jasper.

- Oh, hey.

I didn't see you guys here.

- Yeah you did.

Because you want to show us

your perfect scale model

of the Nakatomi Tower

that you made entirely

out of toothpicks

that you built yourself

and it took three months.

- Okay, do you have

hidden cameras in my room?

- No, gross.

- Give it back.

- No way.

- It's my property.

Give it.

- No.

- Ah, here we go again.

- Avocados are full of fat.

- The good fat.

- There is no good fat.

- Oliver,

that's Sidney's avocado.

Give it back to him.

- Fine. Take it, jerk.

- Ugh.

[ grunting ]

- See what avocados do?

- Ugh.

- Wait, let's make up.

- I don't want to.

- Ugh.

Please pull the toothpicks

out of my face.

[ screams ]

[ elevator dings ]

- Hey, Schwoz.

Hiding behind the thing there?

- How did you know I was here?



- Hey, what's that?



A new weapon?



Want me to test it out?

- Yeah. Yeah, please.

- All right, let's see here.

- Wait, wait, wait.



What are you--



- Oops.



- Ow.

What the butt, Henry?

- Ah-ha. Aah. Aah.

- Hey, that's my laugh.



How did you know



that weapon fires backwards?



Did you go back in time?

And now you are

reliving this day?

- Maybe.

- Oh. You and Ray

fought the Time Jerker.



- We did.



[ alarm beeping ]





- So, how was it?



What happened?



How did you go back in--

- Hey, Char.

Congrats on getting into LIMP.

- It's not called "LIMP."

And I didn't get in.

Thanks for getting my hopes up.

- What do you mean?

I already lived this day.

I know you get in.

- No, I didn't.

Look at my application.

- That's a clear "no."

- I'll be back after I cry

in the bathroom for an hour.

Or five.

- I don't get it.



I know she got



into that program,



so how come she--

- Wait, Henry.

When you go back in time

and you change what you do,

you can change

the course of history.

- Oh.

Is that bad?

- Yeah, it's bad.

Come on, it's happened

in every time travel movie

ever made.

- Oh, man.

So, it's my fault that

Jasper's model got wrecked.

And it's my fault that Charlotte

didn't get into that program.

- Yeah.



When you change



one thing you do,



it can affect what happens

to everyone else around you.

It's the danger of time travel.

- Man.

How do you know all this?

- I read this book.

- Oh no.

So, now I got to go back in time

and relive this same day again.

- Yeah, yeah you must.

- But the first time

was horrible.

- Everything must happen



the exact same way it did



the first time.



[ alarm beeping ]

- Oh my god, Schwoz.



We're about to find



the secret location of the--



- The Time Jerker?

He's right on top

of the Swellview clock tower.

- How do you know that?

- Because I do.

- I think he do.

- Wait, Henry,

where are you going?

- To the clock tower

to set things straight.

- Set things str--

Did he set things crooked?

- A little bit.

- Meet me on the roof.

I'll start up the Man Copter.



- Well, wait,



I got to blow a bubble.



- Up the tube.

- Oh, my gumballs.

You pick up the rest of them.

Henry, wait for me!

Whoa.

- Are you okay?

- Ha.

I'll just set my time machine

to million years ago.

And now…

eat my trash, dinosaurs.

Whoohoo. [ laughs ]

- Well, hello, Time Jerker.

- Captain Man and Kid Danger.

I had a feeling you'd find--

- What was that?

- I'm in a hurry.



- But you didn't let me



do anything.



- Who cares?

I knocked out the Time Jerker.

- Yeah, so,

what am I supposed to do?



And what are you doing



with that thing?





- I'm going to use it



to fix all the stuff



I screwed up.

- Well, I'm in charge.

- Fine.

Why don't you pick a place

for us to have dinner?

- Okay.

I want Chinese food.

- Cool.

But, first, I got to go back

in time right now

so I can answer your call

in about seconds.

Aah!

[ alarm beeping ]

♪ Good morning to you. ♪

♪ Good morning to you. ♪

♪ Welcome to Wednesday, ♪

♪ your face looks like poo. ♪

- Thanks so much for that.

- Sure thing, kid.

- And now it's time for me

to have the worst day ever…

again.

- Huh?

What do you mean--

- This is for you, Charlotte.

Aah! They're back.

They're back.

Oh my god, they're back.

A cake.

Why is there a cake here?

Mm. Not bad.

- Got it.

You've been caked.

- Aw, you…

- Avocados are full of fat.

- The good fat.

- There is no good fat.

- Oliver,

that's Sidney's avocado.

Give it back to him.

- Fine, take it jerk.

- Ooh. Ooh.

[ grunting ]

It's worse the second time.

- Now, blast me.

- [ sighs ]

Ow.

What the butt, Schwoz?

- I did it.

[ screams ] I did it.

- What did you do?

- I got in.

- Yes, I did it.

- No, I did it.

- Yeah, sure.



Congrats, Char,



I'm really proud of you.



- Yay, me too.

I can't believe I got into

the Language, Information,

and Math Program.

- LIMP.

- It's not called "LIMP."

- No, I found out,

they do call it "LIMP."

- No way. [ laughs ]

- Eat my trash, dinosaurs.

Whoohoo. [ laughs ]

- Well, hello, Time Jerker.

- Captain Man and Kid Danger.

I had a feeling you'd find--



- Now let's go get



some Chinese food.





- That's exactly



what I was thinking.



[ music ]

[ oven bell ]

- Mmm…