02x12 - Music, Music, Mayhem

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just to take
good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one
of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I sing, I want ♪

♪ Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪♪

♪♪

[doorbell rings]

[grumbles]

[doorbell rings]

[clears throat]

Doorbell!

That's right, Mr. Powell,
I'll get it.

Hey, Buddy!
What's up?

Hey, Charles, check this out!

It's the finest piece
of electronic equipment,
ever built by man!

Well, it's beautiful.
Whose is it?

It's mine!
It's all mine!
This is hot!

Hot?
Lembeck, you can't bring
stolen goods into this house!

It's not stolen, Mr. Powell.
It's a gift from my folks.

They sent it to me
for no apparent reason.

Probably out of gratitude
for your leaving home.

Is he getting shock treatments?

No, he's just getting a taste
of stereo heaven!

This is unbelievable, Buddy!

Mr. Powell,
you gotta listen to this.
It'll blow your mind.

No, first it'll blow
my eardrums,

then it'll blow my mind.

Then, I'll become one of you
in the land of the living dumb.

Buddy, what're you gonna do
with your old cassette player?

Well, I'd like to keep it
as a backup,

but I need the money,
so I guess I'll sell it.

- What do you want for it?
- Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

Charles, you're a friend!

I can't sell something
to a friend!

Well, who you gonna sell it to,
an enemy?

Come on, you need the money,
and I need the cassette player.

It's a matter of supply
and demand.

[louder]
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

- How much you want for it?
- Well, um...

I don't know,
let's see...

A-Approximately
$47.98.

Could you be a little more
specific about that?

No, there's a new study aid
that I wanna buy,

and the price is $47.98.

- You got a deal.
- Great!

I'll go back to the dorm
and get it for you.

All right.
[chuckling]

Charles, I tried to warn you,
but you wouldn't listen.

- Listen to what?
- Listen to me!

I said, "When you buy
secondhand goods,

you're buying
someone else's problems."

- I didn't hear you say that.
- Well, come on.

What do you think I meant
when I said, "Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh?"

Mr. Powell, Buddy's gonna sell
that thing to somebody, right?

So, why not me?
He's my friend,

and besides,
he needs the money.

Well, there's an old saying,

"A friend in need
is a bloodsucking leech."

Sarah!

Sarah, this is important!
Wait a minute!

What?

Choosing the right lipstick
is crucial.

According to
"American Teen Magazine,"

your lips are your second
greatest asset.

What's my first?

You don't have 'em yet.

And another thing, Sarah,

I saw you in the cafeteria
with Marci Crawford today.

Yeah, so?

So, stay away from her!

Marci talks to everybody,
and she talks about everybody.

She's the biggest gossip
in school.

Scissors?
Scissors?

Sarah, you don't cut lettuce!
You tear it.

Otherwise, it turns brown
around the edges.

[gasp]
Oh, no!

You'll understand when you
take Home Ec. next year.

[sigh]

Hey, ladies!
How's it going?

Ask Jamie, she's the world's
foremost authority.

Here, Charles, maybe you
should make the salad,

but be very careful!

Big sister is watching!

Hey, Jamie,
how's it going?

Some people just won't listen.

I beg your pardon,
I wasn't listening
to what you said.

[laughing]

Charles!
The scissors!

What?

Ugh!

Hey, oh, hey, Charles!
Here you go!

Here, here you go!
$47...

- and 98 cents.
- Great.

Oh, Mrs. Powell, look what
I just bought from Buddy!

Oh, that's nice!

Hey, listen, since you guys
are in such a good mood,

I'd like to ask you a favor.

Tomorrow,
I'm planning to rearrange
the living room furniture,

and I need some help.

Oh, you can count on me!
Can I count on you, Buddy?

Of course,
what are friends for?

You can count on both of us.

Great!
How about 11 o'clock
tomorrow morning?

- We'll be there.
- Thanks.

- Look at this.
- What?

- Hey, Mr. Powell!
- Oh!

So, this is it, huh?
Lembeck's old cassette player.

No, no, it used to be
his old cassette player.

Now, it's my
new cassette player.

Well, perfect timing
because a friend of mine,

just sold me
this great collector's item.

This cassette
is a rare recording.

Glenn Miller and his orchestra,
live at the U.S.O.!

I was at that concert, Charles!
That's where I met my wife.

[chuckling]

- Wanna borrow
my cassette player?
- No, borrow is a strong word.

I, uh, I just wanna hear
this one tape.

Has a great deal
of sentimental value to me,

and, well, you guys know
how sentimental I am.

Thanks, Charles.

Charles, I'll see you
at Sid's tonight, okay?

About eight o'clock.
Don't be late!
- All right.

Charles, you're murdering
that lettuce!

No, no, Jamie, I swear,

i-it was already dead
when I got here!

Norman.

[high-pitched squeal]

It's up to you, Marci.

We can study
at your house or mine.

Okay, I'll be over
in a little while.

Bye, Marci.

You're going to Marci's house,

after I told you
what a gossip she is?

Yes, Jamie.

Charles, talk to Sarah!

Okay.

Sarah, heard any
good stories lately?

Charles, she's hanging out
with Marci Crawford,

the worst blabbermouth
in the Western Hemisphere.

Oh, then she has heard
some good stories lately.

[laughing]

Jamie, I believe in
giving everyone,

the benefit of the doubt.

We have to learn to love
our fellow humans,

if there's ever going
to be peace in the world!

Adam, I'm gonna pull
your face off!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Knock it off!

What's going on?

Mom, we have to talk
about Sarah.

She just won't listen to me.

She's hanging out
with Marci Crawford.

The biggest gossip
on this planet.

And getting bigger.

I knew her when she only
covered the western hemisphere.

I'm trying to give Sarah
the benefit of my experience.

Well, honey, maybe Sarah's
experience with Marci,

is a little bit
different than yours, huh?

Sure, Jamie, you know,
friendship is subjective.

For instance, a lot of people
don't understand,

my friendship
with Buddy Lembeck.

A lot of people are right.

- Charles, you're in trouble!
- What happened?

[stammering]
This, this, this,

cassette player that you bought
from your friend,

just ate my Glenn Miller tape!

I'm sorry, Mr. Powell.

Are you saying that
Buddy's machine is defective?

No, he's defective!
The machine is a piece of junk!

k*lled my tape,
and then it committed suicide.

No problem, uh,
Buddy'll give me the money back,

and I'll use that money
to buy you a new cassette, okay?

Yeah, well, the tape
is irreplaceable!

Come on, Mr. Powell,
there has to be another copy
somewhere.

If my machine destroyed
your tape,

then it's up to me
to buy you another one.

Yeah, of course, it is,
but you're not gonna do that,

because your friend
is gonna stiff you,

and you're gonna stiff me.

Buddy?
Stiff me?

- We're like brothers!
- So were Cain and Abel.

Oh, hey, Charles!
Sorry I'm late,

but Debbie Norris had a flat.

A flat what?

That's what I said.

Fortunately for me,
it turned out to be her tire.

[laughing]

Listen, Buddy,
I-I got a little problem, uh...

I, uh, I need my money back.

What money?

Th-The money I gave you
for the cassette player.

Oh, I'm sorry, Charles,
I wish you woulda
told me earlier.

I didn't know earlier.

Don't you want
the cassette player?

No, no,
I-I just want the money back.

I hate to tell you this, but
your cassette player's broken.

- My new one?
- No, not your new one.

- Your old one.
- Oh!

Then what you mean is that
your cassette player is broken.

Um...
[clears throat]

When was the last time
y-you listened to it?

Couple of days ago.

Two days ago?

Two or three days ago.

Which is it,
two or three days?

Whenever it was,
it was working fine!

Oh, good, I'm glad to hear
because Mr. Powell thinks,

you intentionally sold me
a broken cassette player.

Oh, come on.

I mean, the last time
I checked,

it was in good condition.

Well, it wasn't today!

"Live at the U.S.O."
is now "dead on
the living room floor."

Oh, Mr. Powell's
collector's item?

- Yeah.
- Tough break for you, Charles.

Yeah, I know,
and I have to replace
that tape, Buddy,

and I need that money
to replace it.

Now, I-I know you wanted
that study aid thing,

but, uh, it'll have to wait.

Oh, no, it won't.
I already bought it.

It's the best automatic
page turner on the market.

You spent my money,

on an automatic page turner?

[laughing]
No, Charles.

I spent my money
on an automatic page turner.

You spent your money
on a portable cassette player.

A defective!
Portable cassette player!

Look, you owe me $47.98, Buddy.
I want my money back, okay?

You give me the money back.
I'll give you your lemon back.

- How's that?
- Hey, hey, hey.

Don't get hostile with me.

Are you familiar
with the phrase,
"Buyer beware?"

Yeah.
You familiar with the phrase,
"You're dead meat?"

Come on, I want my money back!

Charles, you can't have
your money back.
It's gone!

Besides, friends don't ask
their friends,

for their money back.

Friends don't
sell each other junk!

Oh!

Well, I guess
we never were friends,
then, were we?

- I guess not!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hold it, hold it!

The least you can do is pay
for your half of the pizza.

Fine.

What?
A-A dollar?
Give me that.

[stammering]
Yeah, would you look again
for me, please?

I really have to find
this tape.

Yeah, it-it's "Glenn Miller:
Live at the U.S.O."

It's a matter
of life and death.

Yeah, I know it's rare.
That's why I called you!

Isn't the name of your store,

"Fred's Rare Records
and Tapes?"

Yeah, right, I'll hold on.

[doorbell rings]

[Walter] Doorbell!

- Hi, Paula.
- Charles!

Charles!
Charles!
Charles!

Give me a "C!"
Give me an "H!"

Give me an "Arles!"

Give me a minute, Paula,
I'm on the phone.

Hi, Paula!
Jamie's not back
from the library yet.

Oh, that's okay.
I'll wait.

Charles, where's Buddy?

Um...

I-I don't know anyone
named Buddy.

Charles, I wrote some
great new cheers.

I have one that's perfect
for when Copeland College,

plays Barrington U next week.
You wanna hear it?

Uh, m-maybe later, Paula, I...

Listen to this.

Copeland!
Copeland!
Rah, rah, rah!

Tear their lips off!
Break their jaw!

Punch their nose,
and when they're through,

Barrington, we will bury you!

That was cheerful, Paula.

You are the Rambo of pep.

H-Hello?
Uh...

Ye... N-No, thanks.
I-I'm holding for Glenn Miller.

Yeah, I know he's dead.
I want his album.

You don't?

All right, listen,
thanks a lot.

Okay.

Hey, Sarah,

how's it going
with David Kiley?

What do you mean?

Marci Crawford told me
you really like David,
that's all.

Charles!

My life is ruined!

Does Jamie know that Marci
told you I liked David?

I guess so.
Marci told everybody.

She even told David!

Oh, no!

I'ma join a nunnery!

[chuckling]

I'll be right behind you,

if I don't find this tape
for your grandfather.

You don't understand!

Marci betrayed me,
and Jamie's gonna say,
"I told you so!"

Jamie is not gonna say,
"I told you so."

Oh, hi!

Hi, Paula!

Sorry I'm late.
Come on up to my room,

I'll show you that article.

Sarah,

told you so!

I told you so!

What's wrong with Sarah?

Uh, Marci, Paula, Jamie,
and a guy named David.

[doorbell rings]

[Walter] Doorbell!

Oh, here I am, Mrs. Powell.

Ready to rearrange
your furniture.

Unlike many people,
when I agree to something,

- I don't back out.
- I don't need his help,
Mrs. Powell.

I have the strength
of a hundred men.

Because I have
a clear conscience.

Are you boys having a problem?

- No, I'm not.
- Nah, neither am I.

Well, good.

Anyway, what I'd like to do here
is move the couches first.

I'm not sure exactly
what I want.

I just want a different look.

[telephone rings]

I'm gonna get that
in the kitchen.

I'll be back in just a minute.
Could you start?

[telephone rings]

Charles!
Is Mom here?

Adam, I need you.
Come here.

Kevin and I just had
a mud fight, and I won!

Oh, congratulations.

Tell him I'm in a hurry.

Tell him
I have to replace a tape
that his machine destroyed.

Tell him, I want the sofas
facing each other.

Tell him I wanna move
the coffee table first.

Tell him I don't care
about the coffee table.

I wanna move the sofas first.

He wants to move the sofas.

He wants to move
the coffee table.

He says he doesn't care.

Ask him what he's doing.

Tell him I'm taking a break
until he makes up his mind.

Tell him
I'm gonna strangle him!

Tell him, if he does,
I'll sue him
for every penny he's got.

Tell him he's already got
every penny I got.

Tell him he's already got
every penny I got.

You already got
every penny I got!

Boys, I have to go
to the office right now.

Uh, could we do this
possibly tomorrow?

Yeah, sure, Mrs. Powell.

That's okay, Mrs. Powell.
I have to leave anyway.

I promised to show Debbie Norris
my new automatic page turner.

Fine, while you're at it,

ask Debbie Norris
if she could teach you
how to read.

Thanks, Buddy.

- Thanks, Charles.
- You're welcome.

Hello,
is this Wally's Waxworks?

Yeah, I-I'm looking
for an old recording,

by Glenn Miller
at the U.S.O.

My name?
Uh, Charles.

Thanks, Wally,
you have a nice voice, too.

No, Wally,
I just want the tape.

I don't want a relationship.

Do you have it?

Why do I have to
come down there?

Forget it, Wally, it's over.
I need my space.

Adam,
there is no point in fooling
with that cassette player.

It's a piece of junk.

First, it's too complicated.
It's got too many buttons,

and too many things
could wrong with it.

It's a great machine, Grandpa,
and it's simple.

- Look, this button's for play.
- Uh-huh.

- This one for stop.
- Yeah.

And this one's for rewind.

Nothing can go wrong,

unless you push this button
before you push stop,

but nobody's that dumb.

Well, what would happen if, uh,
you did a dumb thing like that?

Well, the tape would get
all fouled up,

and it could wreck the machine.

Oh.

Hi, Dad!

Adam.

Hit the showers.

Again?

Ellen, there's something
bothering me...

Oh, Mr. Powell!

Good, look!

I found it!
I got it!

"Glenn Miller,
Live at the U.S.O.!"

- You got him.
- Yeah!

Must've cost you a bundle, huh!

No, it was only $9.98,
I-I found it at,
um, Otto's Oldies.

$9.98?

My friend, Herb, that weasel,
charged me $35!

Charles, by the way,

Buddy forgot his jacket here
this morning.

Good, maybe I can sell it.

You know, Mr. Powell,
I felt really responsible
about wrecking your other tape.

Responsibility is a drag,
but when you have it, you, uh,

you gotta do something
about it, right?

That's right.
Right.

- I'll talk to you
later, Charles.
- Alright.

You act as if it were my fault,

that Marci did
what I told you she'd do!

Don't you ever get tired
of being right?

Oh, whoa!
Time out.

All right, go to
your neutral corner, come on.

Go sit over there.
Now, we can get to the bottom
of this thing once and for all.

Who did what to whom?

I warned Sarah not to
hang out with Marci,

and she chose
to ignore my advice.

Jamie, you constantly
tell me what to do!

That's not advice.

Sarah, I'm trying to help you.

Face it, as we travel down
life's highway,

I will always be
about a mile ahead of you.

I know, but do you have to
keep watching me,

in your rearview mirror?

Okay, hold on,
hold on a second.

Now, listen to me.

You guys will probably
be sisters for a long time.

Now, with a little effort,

you can also be friends
for a long time.

I know.

Jamie and I agree
on most of the big stuff.

It's the little things
that make me crazy.

Oh, you're gonna have
to learn how to compromise
on those little things,

'cause it's the little things
that can really destroy
a friendship.

Like with you and Buddy?

Uh, no, that was
a different thing.

- Why?
- Well, because what Buddy did
involved a, a loss of money.

- A lot of money?
- No, it was a little.

A little money.
Then it is the same.

What are you,
The Old Philosopher?

All right,
I'll think about it, uh...

Now, what're you two gonna do?

I'm sorry, Sarah.
I'll try to stay off your case.

Okay, and I'll try
to take your advice,

once in a while.

Deal.
Do you wanna go
to a movie tonight?

- Sure.
- You're not gonna wear
what you have on, are you?

- It's very nice.
- [Sarah sighs]

[Walter muttering]

- Oh!
Hi.
- Oh, hi Dad.

Well, here it is.
Works like a top.

I, uh, I took it out
and got it fixed.

You got it fixed?
Dad, that is so sweet of you.

Well, there's
an outside possibility,

that something I did
might have, uh, possibly, uh,

damaged the mechanism.

Oh, Dad, that's terrible.

You're gonna have to tell
Charles and Buddy.

I will, Ellen, I will.

I'll tell 'em it was my fault,

but first,
I gotta see a man about a dog.

Oh, uh, Dad, by the way,

I'm gonna pick the girls up
at the theater,

and I'll be back
in just a bit.

[doorbell rings]

Doorbell!

Somebody, I-I guess it
must have been Mrs. Powell,

left a message saying
that my jacket was here.

I left the message.
Don't you know my voice?

I sound like this.
Mrs. Powell,

[falsetto]
sounds like this.

[normal voice]
I wanted to talk to you.

Yeah, well, I wanted
to talk to you, too.

- Good, you want me
to go first?
- No, I will.

I borrowed some money
so I could pay you back,

for the cassette player
to prove,

that I'm a better friend to you
than you are to me.

Yeah, well,
I called you over here,

to tell you that
I don't want your money.

You know why
I don't want your money?

Because I am twice the friend
that you are!

I laugh in your face, Charles.

Ha!

Next to my friendship,
your friendship stinks!

Oh, you better watch it, Buddy,
you are pushing my friendship!

Oh, yeah?
Well, push this!

Your friendship means more
to me than money!

Well, I refuse your money,

because your friendship
means more to me
than a cassette player!

Oh, yeah?
Well, if we're such
good friends,

then why are you yelling at me

'Cause that's what
friends are for!

Okay, well then,
just forget the money,

I'm gonna go buy you
a new cassette player.

Hold it!
I don't care about
the cassette player!

You don't care about
this cassette player?

No, I won't!
Buddy, here's to friendship!

Oh!
No...

♪♪

Oh, you're in the bathroom,
uh...

Luckily, your, uh,

cassette player
didn't break again.

It's a good machine, Charles.

Listen, you play
your card right,

I'll, uh, let you
borrow it sometime.

Thank you.

- Charles?
- Yeah?

Jamie says she's tired
of sharing a bedroom with me.

Well, a-aren't you tired
of sharing a bedroom with her?

Yes!

She's giving me advice again
about David Kiley.

Well, Sarah,
you've never had a date

and you know, Jamie knows more
about boys than you do,

so I'd listen to her.

You think I should
take her advice?

About David Kiley?
Absolutely.

Okay, but you'll
have to tell Mom.

Okay.

Tell her what?

That I'm gonna
move in with David.

Sarah!

♪♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing ♪

♪ I want ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪

♪♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪♪

[fanfare]