02x13 - Buddy in Charge

[bunniefuu]

[♪ ♪]

♪ The new boy
in the the neighborhood ♪

♪ Lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just to take
good care of me ♪

♪ Like he's one of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights ♪

♪ And I see
I want Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights ♪

♪ And I see
I want ♪

♪ I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

But Grampa, why does it have
to be Mrs. Ferguson?!

Adam, it's only for two days.

But Mrs. Ferguson won't
let us do anything.

You mean she won't let you
get away with anything.

Grampa, does it have
to be Mrs. Ferguson?

Couldn't Mom get someone
who's a little more fun?

Yeah, like Darth Vader?

Mrs. Ferguson has sat
with you before and
your mother trusts her.

Now quit complaining.

You don't want Charles to feel
guilty about leaving, do you?

[together]
Yes!

You shouldn't.
His mother drove in all the way

from Pennsylvania to see him,
and Charles wants to spend

some time at the hotel with her.

Hup, hup, hup, hup...

Kids, go on upstairs
and clean your rooms.

And Sarah, I don't want
any clothes on the floor.

Those are Jamie's things!

I wish you'd tell her
to straighten up.

Sweetheart, I want
it done right.

You know Jamie...

Not as well as I know
her clothes.

They're all over my bed!

All right, I'm all packed!

Ah, Charles...

I made some chocolate chip
cookies, and I thought maybe

you'd like to take
some home to your mom.

That would be great,
Mrs. Powell, thank you.

Good, then I'll put 'em
in a back for ya.

All right.
[doorbell rings]

I got it.

Hey, Charles!

I want you to meet the only
woman I'll ever love...

Debbie Norris.

Hi, Debbie, I don't believe
we've met before.

Well that's because normally,
I only introduce you to girls
I don't like.

The only reason I'm even letting
you look at Debbie,

is because she needs
a ride to school.

I thought we could drop her off
on the way to the hotel.

Yeah sure, no problem.

Charles, why would you
wanna stay in a hotel,

when you have such
a lovely home.

Oh no, this isn't my home,

I just stay here
because I work here.

Oh, what do you do here?

Uh, I do a little of everything.
Buddy'll fill you in.

I'll be right back.

You know, you're a lot cuter
than Buddy told me.

Well?

He was kidding!
I told him you were beautiful.

No, I mean, what does he do?

Oh him?
It's no big deal.

He works for the Powells.

He takes care of the house
and the children.

Children?
That's great!

I had a feeling Charles
was a nice guy.

Yeah, he's...
fairly nice.

All right, let's go!

Charles, I think what
you do is terrific!

I like a man who likes children.

Ah...

Well, I like children a lot!
I always have.

I'll bet children like you, too.

Maybe Charles has a little
statue of himself

that you could glue
to your dashboard.

No, but I do have some nice
wallet-sized photographs

I could give her.
[phone ringing]

[Ellen] I'll get it!

Are we gonna leave, or what?

Yeah, I just wanna say goodbye
to the Powells.

It'll take a minute, okay?

Sure, Charles,
we'll just wait outside.

C'mon, Debbie.
- All right.

Thanks a lot,
you children-liking, nice guy!

Here...
[sighs]

What's the matter,
Mrs. Powell?

Oh, I have a problem.
Mrs. Ferguson
just cancelled out.

All right, I'll have to call
my mom and tell her
I can't make it.

No, Charles, I wouldn't want
you to do that.

Do you know anybody who
could watch the children
while you're gone?

Well, I know some students
who are, you know,
pretty responsible.

Good, I trust your judgement.

If they're all right with you,
then they're good enough for me.

We'll both see what we can do.

All right...

Charles,
Debbie has to get to school,

So I'm gonna drop her off
and come back for you.

Do you have a problem with that?

No, no, but I can't leave
right now, anyway.

Mrs. Ferguson, the lady who was
supposed to watch the children,

bombed out on us, and I have to
find somebody to take her place.

Well, of course you do!
You're a responsible guy!

Wait 'til Debbie
hears about his... Wooh!

Charles, Charles!
- Buddy...

Lois, Lois, you'd only have to
watch the kids for two days.

I have an idea!

Yeah, you'd have
your nights free.

Oh no, they're great kids!

Nevermind, Lois.
Goodbye!

I need to talk to you!

I can't right now, Buddy.
I have a problem.

I have a solution.
- So do I,
but you won't like it.

It involves my foot
and your Adam's apple.

Charles, the person you
wanna talk to is standing
right in front of you.

No, she isn't!

Charles, just here me out!

Now, I know that I've always
been an underachiever.

No, don't start that again,
Buddy!

Everytime you want something,
you tell me you're
an underachiever.

But it's true, I've always
been an underachiever!

When I was in high school,
we had this big masquerade party

and we were supposed to come
as the singing star
we'd most like to be.

Charles, I came
as Frank Sinatra, Jr.

What do you want, Buddy?

Just a chance to prove myself.
Let me take care of the kids.

No really, just give
me the chance!

Wait a minute, are you doing
this to impress Debbie?

Of course I am.
- Forget about it.

No, that's not the only reason.

I need to do this
for Mrs. Powell.

I need to do it for you,

and I need to do it
for my self-esteem, and...

if you were a real friend,
Charles, you'd give me
the opportunity.

Any luck, Charles?

Incredible luck, Mrs. Powell!

Charles has some very good
news for you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm
going to entertain the children.

Gosh, I love those kids.

Always have.

Hey, kids!
He-e-ere's Buddy!

Mrs. Powell,
I have a great solution.

Buddy's gonna take
my place while I'm gone.

Buddy... Lembeck?

Yeah, why not?!

He wants to do it,
and uh, Mrs. Powell,

the children know him
and he knows the children.

I think they'd enjoy
having him here.

Well, I'm sure they would.
He's like one of them.

Well, I guess it's better
than having someone
that we don't know.

Okay, why not?

Hey, Charles, you're still here!

Hi, Mr. Powell,
I was just leaving.

Mrs. Ferguson cancelled
out on us,

so we had to make
other arrangements.

[mumbling] Buddy Lembeck's
going to take her place.

Buddy Lembeck?!

With my grandchildren?!

That's like asking me to leave
them with Daffy Duck!

I already said that
Buddy could do it.

Mr. Powell, Buddy will take
great care of the kids.

I guarantee it.

Charles, if anything goes wrong,
I'm holding you
personally responsible!

What could go wrong?
[Walter groans]

Here comes the horsey!

[doorbell rings]

Morning, Mrs. Powell.

Well, you're here
bright and early.

I thought I'd study
at the house.

That way, I can make sure
that the children

get off to school on time and be
here the minute they get home.

That's very thoughtful
of you, Buddy.

Well thank you, Mrs. Powell.
You have a good, worry-free day.

Morning, Buddy.

Morning, Adam.

Where you going
with the tennis ba*ls?

Oh, it's just an empty can.

Freeze!

Come here, Adam.

Have a seat.

What are you gonna do
with the tennis ball can?

Kevin and I are gonna
use it after school.

Mom said it was okay.

Oh... and what are you planning
to put in the can?

Nothing... just some old rags.

And maybe a little
lighter fluid?

Yeah!

Then you strike a match
and, pow!

The tennis can rocket
is launched into outer space!

You know about that?!

Uncle Buddy knows everything!

Forget it, Adam.
Your launch has been aborted.

But Mom said!

I'm in charge now.
And I'll keep the can.

Boy, what a gyp!

Oh Buddy, I'm glad you're here.
I'm about to be late for school.

So you gotta drive me.

Nope!

You want me to be t*rd?

Well, that's up to you, Jamie.
But if you hurry,

you won't miss the bus.

But I haven't had breakfast.

You should've gotten up earlier.

Jamie, this was your day to put
the breakfast dishes away.

How can I?
I don't even have time to eat.

Okay, girls.
Sarah, get your books.

You can argue about
this tonight.

Right now, you've gotta
get to school.

Great... Jamie doesn't put the
dishes away and nobody cares.

If I forget one little thing,
I get in trouble.

That's because you always
do things right, Sarah.

You're conscientious.
People expect it of you.

Jamie, on the other hand,
is a little like me...

cute and friendly,
but kind of a flake.

Thanks a lot, Buddy!

It just isn't fair.

Maybe I'll try being
a flake for awhile!

Naw, I don't think that'd work.

See, good flakes are born,
not made.

Is that all you have to say?

No, just one more thing...

Now you're gonna miss the bus.

I don't care.

Sure you do, Sarah...

You're conscientious.

Tick-tock...
Tick-tock...

Tick-tock...

[speeds up]
Tick-tock...
Tick-tock...

Tick-tock...
Tick-tock...

Darn you, Buddy!

Hey, Adam!
How as school?

[sarcastically] Wonderful!

Mom said I could have this milk
carton when it was empty, okay?

Lemme guess...

You and Kevin wanna play
a game with it, right?

The game's going to involve
a lot of matches

and the word "boom."
Right?

The old milk carton b*mb trick.

No way, Adam!

Boy, it's like living with
Inch High Private Eye.

Hey!
- Hey, Charles...

What are you doing here?

I just came by to see
how things are going.

You don't trust me, do you?

Of course I trust you!
How are the kids?

See?
You don't trust me!

Will you stop saying that?
I trust you.

Charles, I've been doing
a great job all day.

You say that, but how do I know
I can trust you?

Buddy...
Oh Charles, you're back!

How's your mother?
- She's great.

She's expecting me for dinner
back at the hotel.

You're home, Mrs. Powell.

Yes, is everything all right?

Oh, everything's fine.
No problem.

Well you're home,
and I have a date.

Debbie wants to hear about my
first day with the children

and I think she'll be
favorably impressed.

I'll see you tomorrow.
- All right.

Charles, you're back!

Oh no, Sarah.
I just came by to say hello.

Oh...
Hello!

Mom, Jamie didn't help me clean
our bedroom last night

and she didn't make her bed
this morning.

Sweetheart, you know Jamie.

She's not the most responsible
person in the world.

And I am!

Buddy told me I was too
conscientious for my own good!

Buddy told you what?!

Charles, you are in trouble.

Your friend, Buddy Lembeck,
called my little Jamie a flake!

Well Mr. Powell, I'm sure that
if Buddy called Jamie a flake,

he meant it in
the best possible sense.

I told you that you were
responsible, so don't trying
getting him off the hook.

No, sir.
The hook stops here.

All right...
Well it could be worse.

He could be coming
back tomorrow.

Mr. Powell...
- What?!

He is coming back tomorrow.

You see?
It's worse already.

[rummaging through closet]

[Adam] Who is it?!

It's Uncle Buddy!

Adam, how was school?

Okay.
I'm going out to play.

Kevin and I are going
to build a clubhouse.

Oh!
Where?

On the vacant lot
over on Linden Avenue.

Well, I suppose you're planning
to build it in a safe place,

like...
on the ground?

Safer.

In a tree.

Yeah!

Adam, how are you planning
to get up and down this tree?

Well...
We'll climb up.

And to get down, we'll use this.

Umbrellas as parachutes!
Hey, Adam, bad idea!

Your plan stinks.

But Mom said I could!

Did your mom say that you could
climb up in a tree,

and dive off onto your head,
driving an umbrella
up your nose?

No.

Then forget it.
And pick up your books.

Charles doesn't tell me
to pick up my books.

Well, I'm not Charles.

Charles!
- Adam, pick up your books.

I came by to knock off a report
for my English class.

It'll take about an hour,
then I'm going back
to the hotel.

You don't trust me, do you?

I trust you, Buddy.
It's a report!

Charles, Buddy won't
let me do anything.

He won't even let me play
with an empty milk carton

or a tennis ball can.

Adam, I'm sure that Buddy
has his reasons.

Now, he's in charge, okay?
You do whatever he says.

[mockingly]
Neener, neener, neener.

Hey, Jamie, where's Sarah?

You are not gonna believe this.

For the first time in Sarah's
short-but-perfect life,

she did something wrong.

Wait-wait a minute, what?
What she do?

She cut class and had
to stay after school.

Sarah?

That's weird, I'd better drive
down and get her.

Keep an eye on Adam for me,
will ya?

Are you sure you wanna leave
a flake in charge?

No, Jamie, you're only a flake
if you want to be a flake.

I'll be right back.

Buddy's against me...

Charles is against me...

Everyone is this whole house
is against me!

Goodbye, house!

[sighs]

Hey, Mr. Powell!
Where's Buddy?

He's upstairs talking to Sarah
about something.

That idiot has turned my home
into a house
of misery and despair.

What happened?
- The whole family has come down

with a case of Lembeck.

It's like the Black Plague,
only without the laughs.

Adam is mad at Buddy,

Jamie is mad at Buddy,
and Sarah's mad at everybody!

Now, Charles, I told you
that you were responsible.

He makes one more mistake...

I'll see to it that somebody
else takes your place...

permanently!

Buddy Lembeck!
Come onnn down!

Charles, hi!
- Hi!

Hey Charles,
hi Mrs. Powell.

Everything's fine except
for one small problem.

Sarah got into a little trouble,
but she'll tell you about it.

What?!
What are you talking about?

Sarah's never in trouble.

I'll go talk to her.

What's this?
- Oh, I'll get that,
Mrs. Powell.

You go ahead.

Buddy, you've been here
two days,

and you've alienated three
generations of Powells!

Hey, lighten up, Charles.
This job isn't as easy
as it looks.

All right, are there
any other problems
I should know about, huh?

Any little surprises?

Just one...

Adam has run away from home!

Buddy, Adam has run
away from home!

That's what I said!

Now, don't get excited!

Many children run away from home
and they come right back.

You're right, we'll wait...

Okay, he didn't come back!
I gotta go find him!

No, no, no!
Hold it, hold it, hold it!

Adam told me that
he was building something...

What?
- A building...

A house...
A clubhouse...

Where?
- Um, um...

In the vacant lot
on Linden Avenue.

You stay here
and I'll go get him.

No, you stay here.
I'll go get him!

Charles, don't you trust me?
- No!

Lembeck, where's Adam?
I wanna show him something.

Well, he's not in his room!

Well, where else is he not?

[phone rings]
Phone! I'll get it!

Hello, Adam residence--
Powell residence.

Sid, if I want a pizza,
I'll call you!

I'm busy, I don't have time
to guess who's down there!

Who's down there?

I'll be right down there!

Mr. Powell, if you need me,
I won't be here.

Good!
Where is Adam?!

I don't know!
When Charles gets back,

tell him I'm with Adam!
- Right!

What?
What?!

Anyway...

Buddy said you expect me to do
things right because
I always do.

Jamie doesn't do anything right,
and she gets away with m*rder.

So, I thought if I goofed up,

maybe you'd treat me the same
way you treat Jamie.

[sighs]
Sweetheart,

how can I treat you like Jamie?

You don't treat Jamie the same
way you treat Adam, do you?

No...

Well, neither do I.

Honey, you know, you're heavier
than you used to be.

I love you all, but you're all
different people,

so I have to treat you all
differently, okay?

I know that now.
Buddy explained it to me.

He was right about everything.

He said I'd be a failure
as a failure.

Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, honey, come on in.

I was just gonna tidy the room
up a little.

You?!
- What?!

It's a mess...

Besides, I was thinking about
something Buddy said.

He said I don't have to be
a flake if I don't wanna be.

And I don't...

wanna be...

a flake!

Hey, Adam!
How's it going?

How'd you find me?!

Sid called me and told me
you were down here

charging pizza by the ton.

Only six pizzas.

Only six?

Well, let's see...

If I were running away from
home, I'd want a food supply,

so I would eat one...

and put the other five in...

Yep, there they are!

How come you know everything
I'm gonna do?!

You know, Mom let's me do stuff
without asking all kinds
of questions.

Well, Adam, that's because
your mother was never
an 11-year-old boy.

I was!

Lemme show you something...

See that scar?
Firecracker shrapnel, 1979.

Wow!

You see that?

Fourteen stitches from trying
to put a toilet paper roll

into orbit using cleaning fluid
as fuel.

When you go like that,
it moves like a snake.

Feel that bump?
- Yeah.

That's a permanent bump
from falling off my house

while testing an experimental
flying bicycle.

You got to do everything!

Well yeah, Adam, but a lot
of kids didn't get off as easy
as I did.

One kid I know lost an eye

and another one lost three
of his favorite fingers.

Ouch.
- Yeah!

Look, the only reason we did
all that dumb stuff

is because we didn't have any
older guys around

to warn us about the danger.

I stopped you because I thought
that friends were supposed

to protect each other.

So hey, if you wanna run away
from home

and blow your toes off...

be my guest.
I'll see you around.

Charles, I thought you had
to go back to the hotel
and meet your mother.

I'm going...
any minute now.

When Buddy gets home, I'm going
to thank him for the wonderful

job he did with the children.
- Whose children?

Mine...
According to the girls,

he was a real help.

Adam!
Hey, you're home!

All right, that's a good place
to be, Adam!

Remember that.
There's no place like home.

Click your heels.

Where have you two been?

We went to the pizza parlor.

What're you doing
with that suitcase?

I brought some pizzas home.

You brought pizzas home
in a suitcase?

Well, it's the latest thing,
Mr. Powell.

It helps keep the pizza
from getting warm.

Cold.
- Cold.

I could go for
a piece of pizza myself.

I'd like to join you,
but I have a date with Debbie.

Debbie says taking care of the
children is its own reward,

but I think she can come up with
a better reward than that.

You're my kind of guy, Buddy...
Devious.

Thanks, Charles.
See you tomorrow.

All right.
- Bye, Buddy.

Buddy's finally gone.
Let's break out the pizza
and celebrate, huh?

Adam, uh, suitcase.

Adam, come on.
Let's chow down!

I've gotta take
my suitcase upstairs.

Well, first, don't you wanna
take the pizzas out?

No, first I'll take
my underwear out.

What?!

You know kids!

Hey!
Buddy... Debbie!

Charles, we can't stay.
I just wanted Debbie
to meet Adam.

Oh yeah, he's in the kitchen.
I'll go get him.

You're gonna love
this little guy.

He's so cute,
and he's totally honest.

Adam, this is Debbie.

Hi.
Buddy, I really miss you.

You're the best.
You're the greatest.

Next to you,
Charles is a big nothing.

Aw, that's sweet, Adam.
Okay, Debbie, let's go!

Bye, Adam.
Nice meeting you.

Hey, Adam, how'd it go?
- Okay.

You sure you didn't mind
me saying those things?

Not at all, Adam.
Buddy is my best friend.

I'd do anything for him.

♪ Charles in charge
of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs and our rights ♪

♪ And I see,
I want ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪