03x08 - Poppa, the Sailor Man

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just
to take good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one
of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪♪

I can not believe
how well things are going,
Buddy.

I mean,
all my schoolwork is done,
all my grades are up,

and I finally got a date
with Judy Lawson.

Yeah, you're right on top
of the world, Charles.

And, once you hit the top,
the only way to go is down.

Why... why do you say
things like that?

Anyway, you're the one
who keeps telling me,
to look at the bright side.

Guess what?

Grandpa wants us to cremate him.

Not today, Adam.

It might depress Charles.

Charles,
I think Grandpa's going to die.

[Charles] What?
What are you guys talking about?

Your grandfather's
not gonna die.

Oh, he will if we cremate him.

Buddy.

Look it--
Your grandfather's as healthy
as an ox.

Hi, Charles.
Did Sarah tell you the bad news?

I can't believe you're involved
in this thing too, Jamie.

You are a responsible,
intelligent, young woman.

I know, that's why Grandpa
put me in charge
of his funeral arrangements.

My little family,
all gathered together, huh?

[children]
Grandpa.

Uh, Mr. Powell?
Can I talk to you alone
for a second?

Sure.
Why not?

Run upstairs, kids.
We'll-we'll talk later.

Grandpa,
will you still be here later?

Of course!
At least till after dinner.

We're having pot roast.
It's my favorite.

Oh sir,
could you sit down for a second?

Oh, sure.
Why not?

Ah.
- [clears throat]

I don't know what-what
you've been telling the kids
but, they're all very upset.

How do you think I feel?

I just found out the bad news
this afternoon.

Oh,
you went to a doctor?

No.
I went down to my club,
the "John Paul Jones Society."

I found out
that Russell Fragmeyer...

... passed away this morning.

Yeah?

Russell and I grew up together,
Charles.

When your old cronies
start dropping like flies,

you know
your days are numbered.

O-o-oh, yeah.

That's why you upset the kids?
- That's it?

Well, I didn't mean
to upset them, I just--

Well, I told them
I wasn't gonna be
around forever.

You know, Russell was only
six months younger than I am.

Makes you realize,

time is running out.
[chuckles]

Well, Mr. Powell, you're right.
- [chuckles in agreement]

Time is running out.

I'm gonna be late for class.

I'll see you later.

I'm sorry about your friend,
Mr. Powell.

You're sorry?
Russell and I knew each other
from childhood.

In fact,
my dad helped raise him.

Of course, my dad's gone
to a far better place now.

I'm sorry,
how old was he when he died?

My dad died?
Why wasn't I told?

You said he went
to a far better place.
- He did!

He moved to
Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Well, see that?

Mr. Powell,
your father's still alive

and he's older than you.
Don't you see?

You obviously don't know
what you're talking about,
Charles.

And-- leave my dad out of this.
I'll--

I'll probably
never see him again, either.

[sighs]

[exhales]

[door opens]
Hi!
- Hi.

How's everybody doing?

Oh, everybody's fine.

Except for Russell Fragmeyer
who seems to be dead.

Oh?

Did you know Russell?

No, Mr. Powell did,
and now he's very depressed.

Really?
That's odd.

He hated Russell.

I don't like to speak ill
of the dead, but...

Russell was a terrible person.

Mr. Powell was all shook up,
and then he told the kids

that he's going
to be dying soon,

and now the kids
are all upset.

Oh, no,
I better go talk to the kids.

Mrs. Powell, I-I just found out
that Mr. Powell's father's
still alive.

Yes,
but they haven't seen each other
in years.

Well, do you--
do you know his first name?

Yes.
It's Ben.

Ben Powell.
I have to go cheer up the kids.

Yeah, uh, uh, operator,
can I have Fort Lauderdale
information, please.

Mom?
How long will it take Grandpa

to get over
Mr. Fragmeyer's death?

Yeah, Grandpa's been sad
for three days now.

Well, I think he's trying
to maintain his grief

until the memorial service,
tomorrow.

Hi is-is Mr. Powell home?

Um, no,
he went to the mini-mart
for some groceries.

Look what I picked up
at the airport?

Surprise!

Hello, Ellen.
- Oh my gosh, Grandpa!

Mom.

That's not Grandpa.

Sure it is.
It is your dad's grandpa.

You are Adam.

And Jamie.

Sarah.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Sarah.

Jamie.

No, he's Adam.

Look, don't confuse me.
I'm an old man.

When did you two grow up?

Has it been that long
since I've seen them?

If you'll excuse me,
I'll put your bag
in the other room.

Oh, I'm sorry, Charles.

I-I didn't mean to ignore
the man who's responsible
for this reunion.

Charles?

Yeah, well,
I thought if Mr. Powell

got a chance to see
his dad again,

it might give him
a boost.

Oh,
you mean he doesn't know
about this?

But don't look so worried,
Ellen.

If Walter's memory is failing
as fast as mine,

we might be okay.

Is there a problem?

Well, it's--

No problem, Charles.

All right.
You know what?

I cannot wait to see
the look on Mr. Powell's face
when he sees you.

Then you better have
a camera ready, Charles.

Because you may never see
a face like that again.

♪ ♪

Oh, oh!
Charles!

Charles,
we're having a two day party
at my dorm.

And we're bobbing for coeds.

C'mon!

Buddy, you-- you go ahead.
All right?

Oh, excuse me.
I thought you were someone else.

Who was that?
- Mr. Powell.

Good Lord,
what's happened to him?

Buddy.

Charles, he's aging
before our very eyes.

It's-it's like Dorian Gray.
This is scary.

Buddy.
- We should call a doctor.

Or, or an exorcist.
- Buddy!

Or, or--
- Buddy, relax, Buddy.

That-that-that's
Mr. Powell's father.

Remember the guy
I told you I was gonna call?

Oh yeah,
I forgot.

You're not my son, are you?
[Charles laughs]

No, sir.
This is my friend,
Buddy Lembeck.

It's nice to meet you,
Buddy.

You can call me,
"Buzz."

Oh, well,
how do you do, sir?

I do very well.

Give me three women
and a quart of rum,
and I do even better.

You in the Navy, Buddy?

Ah-- no, sir.

That's a coincidence,
neither is Charles.

You know,
I was in the Navy
for 35 years.

I never got above
the rank of Seaman, First Class.

I'm proud of that record.

Well, Charles,
let me know if my kid gets here.

Will do, sir.

That's Mr. Powell's dad?

Buddy, this guy is wild.

I'm tellin' ya,
all the way over here
from the airport,

he was whistling at ladies

and making rude gestures
at police cars.

Yeah?

So why do you say
he's wild?

Never mind.

Oh!

Mr. Powell,
I have a surprise for you.

I've had enough surprises
for one day.

Can you believe it?

A lot of those hypocrites down
at the "John Paul Jones Society"

are refusing to go
to Russell's memorial service
tomorrow.

That's why
I'm counting on my family,
and you two men to be there.

Us?
- Uh, to-tomorrow?
- I appreciate it.

Uh.

Well, you're welcome, sir.

Now.
I have a big surprise for you.

What is it?
- Mr. Powell?

What?

[louder]
Mr. Powell?
- What?

[even louder]
Mr. Powell!

Either you're not listening,
or I'm not talking.

What?

Hello, Sonny.

Long time, no see.

Hey, Mr. Powell,
you dropped your cookies.

Probably wet his pants, too.

Charles,
I can't believe
you invited him here.

I haven't spoken
to that man in ten years.

I want him out of here
by tomorrow.

Do you understand me?
Tomorrow.

You mean you're gonna ask
your own father to leave?

No, no.
I'm not going to.
You are!

You brought him here,
you kick him out.

[singing]
"Come all ye sailors
who follow the sea.

With a 'Yo, h*,'
we'll blow the man down."

Excuse me.
Excuse me.

We're trying
to do some work around here.

Grandpa, guess what?

Great-grandpa is gonna take us
on all the rides at Fun World.

Right!

I wanna know what it feels like
to go on that roller coaster
again.

I haven't done it in years.

Let's go, Walter.
- No, thank you.

I'm a little too old
to be riding roller coasters.

Eh, you're probably right.

Come to think about it,
you always were too old.

As I recall,
you used to wear a tie
to grammar school.

You were never around
when I was in grammar school.

Well, Grandpa, I've got
the guest bedroom upstairs
all ready for you.

Oh, you didn't have to
do that, Ellen.

I looked at Walter's room,
that'll be just fine.

You're gonna take my room?

Thank you.

We're all gonna go
to Fun World, Mom.
- Oh.

That's right.
Now, you kids go on.
Get ready.

How about it, Ellen?
You wanna have some fun?

I'd love it!

Come on, Walter.
Go with us.

Are you aware
that Russell Fragmeyer is dead?

Oh.

Well, I guess that means
we can't take him
on the roller coaster.

How's the uh, weather down
in Florida this time of year?

I don't think death
is a laughing matter.

That's because,
you don't think life
is a laughing matter.

Russell doesn't know he's dead,
Walter.

You've got to be alive
to know anything.

Hey, that's not bad.

I might say that tomorrow
at the memorial service.

You're gonna speak?

Why not?

I'm the only man
who ever understood Russell.

He was my kind of guy.

Rotten to the core.
- Sure.

If I had said that,
I'd be sent to my room...

... if I had a room.

Charles.

I have something
I want to tell you.

Well,
there's something
I want to say to you too,

but-but you go ahead.

Promise me
you won't tell Walter
what I'm about to say.

Sure.

First off,
I-I appreciate
your inviting me here.

This-this trip
is very important to me.

Well,
it's-it's very important
to all of us.

Mr. Powell,
your son is very worried
about growing old, and...

... I thought,
that once he saw you,
he'd get over it.

[stuttering] I mean,
you're so full of life,
and energetic, and healthy.

That makes what
I'm about to say to you
so ironic.

You see,
according to my doctor,

I don't have much longer
to live.

Well, I'm off to Fun World.

♪ ♪

Charles,
what are we doing here?

Buddy, we're here
to pay our last respects
to Russell Fragmeyer,

a man we may not love,

but one we really can't say
that we hate,

because luckily,
he died before we met him.

There's hardly anybody here.

I mean, I seriously doubt
that Russell Fragmeyer
will even show up.

He just did.
He's in that urn.

Oh,
he urned his way in.

Charles.

Where's my father?

Oh,
I don't know, sir.

All I know is,
he's supposed to be making
a speech here today.

Well,
that's typical of him.

The man is totally undependable.

Forget it,
I'll speak.

Well--
you sure you're up to it?

Of course I am.

Oh, oh, Mr. Powell.

You know,
I didn't even know the deceased,

but I'd be glad
to say a few words.

Over my dead body.

No, sir,
over his dead body.

Excuse me.

Friends.

What can I say
about Russell Fragmeyer?

He wasn't a terribly nice man,
but...

He was young, though...

... six months younger
than I am.

You know what that means?

I could be next.

I mean,
I've got a lot to do
before I go.

I've just begun to live.
It isn't fair.
It--

Sorry.
Charles, take over.

That was beautiful.

Hey, why don't you stall,
all right?

I-I'm going to try
to get Mr. Powell back.

Oh.
Okay.

[clears throat]

Dearly beloved,

we are-are gathered here today
to-- ah...

... to say goodbye...

... to a guy named Russ.

A-a guy that--

I wouldn't even recognize,
on the street.

At least I don't think I would.

Nope.

But, I don't think of Russ
as just another dead guy.

I mean,
is it just ashes to ashes
and...

... Russ to dust?

I think not.

Oh, and-and here
to sum things up,

is Russel's old pal,
Buzz Powell.

[claps]

Well.

I've never seen
so many long faces in my life.

What is this,
a funeral?

Now, many of you men
served with Russell,

and you know
he was an inconsiderate man

who never took anybody
or anything seriously
in his whole life.

I knew Russ since he was a boy.

He wouldn't be caught dead
in a place like this.

[Buddy laughs]

However,

there is nothing
that Russ liked better
than a good party...

... as long as
he didn't have
to pay for it.

So... let's have one.

["For He's a Jolly Good Fellow"
plays ♪]

[singing]
"For he's a jolly good fellow,

for he's a jolly good fellow...

... which nobody can deny.

Which nobody can deny... "
- Charles, Charles,
this is humiliating.

Get that man out of my life.
That's an order.

[everyone continues singing
in background]

Well.

There's nothing I like better
than a good funeral.

As long as it isn't mine.

Mr. Powell, if, uh--

what your doctor says is true,
and...

you know you're not gonna
be around much longer,

don't you think
you should tell your son?

Walter?

I don't want his sympathy,
I want his friendship.
It's--

You gave me your word, Charles.
- I know, sir.

Oh, you're back.

Did you tell him?
- No, sir.

Tell me what?
- Excuse me.

Sit down, Charles.

You're responsible for this.

Responsible for what?
What is your problem,
Walter?

You're my problem, Dad.

You know,
I got some work to do in my--

Sit down,
Charles.

Walter.

You were a stuffy little boy
and you're a stuffy old man.

Now,
I lived every day of my life

and I tried to teach you
the same thing.

Now, be honest and tell Charles
what's really bothering you.

You know what's bothering me.

It's what you did ten years ago.

[chuckles]
Hey, this is personal--

[Walter and Buzz]
Sit down, Charles.

Ask him what I did
ten years ago.

I'll tell you what he did.

One short year
after my mother died,

he married a young girl
and moved off to Florida.

That "young girl"
was 51 years old.

She was still a lot younger
than I was.

Why couldn't you marry
a woman your own age?

Have you ever taken a close look
at a woman my age?

There you go again.

You can't take anything
seriously.

You wouldn't know that for sure,
Walter.

I could never tell you
how I felt,

because you never took me
seriously.

How could I?

You know,
in all the years
I was growing up,

I never once heard
you say the words,

"I love you."

Walter, those words go
from one heart to another.

If you didn't hear 'em,
it was because your heart
wasn't listening.

Mr. Powell,
there's something
you should know.

What?

Uh, your father is, um...

Yeah.. ?

Yeah?

He's a terrific guy.

Do you know how it feels
to be embarrassed
by your own father?

No, sir.

But I know what it's like
to lose my father.

I know that--

there's a million questions
that I'll never be able
to ask him now.

There's also a lot of things
that I wanna tell him,
and- and I can't do that either.

So, if you have anything nice
to say to your dad,

don't wait to say it
at his funeral.

Hey, Charles,
why don't we go down to Sid's
and have fun.

I can't, Buddy.

I keep worrying
about Mr. Powell and Mr. Powell.

You're right, Walter.

It was the carrier Ticonderoga,

and she was sailing out
of Manila.

No, no, Dad.

You're right.
It was the Lexington.

She was sailing out
of Guantanamo Bay.

Hey!
You two ought to join the Navy.

We were just sharing
some great memories.

Yeah.
The only trouble is,
we can't remember 'em.

Hey, why don't we all go
into the kitchen
and lie to each other?

Would you like to hear
how my Dad won
the Battle of the Coral Sea,

or how I landed the Marines
at Inchon?

Oh, why don't you two
re-fight the w*r without us?

Now, now.
We already re-fought the w*r,

and our side won,
right, Dad?

Absolutely!
C'mon Walter, we got
a lot of catching up to do.

Okay, one more time, now.

[singing] "Blow, blow,
blow the man down... "

You know for two guys
who hate each other,

they sure seem
to be good friends.

It's great, Buddy.

They-- you see,
they are good friends.

You see what happens
when two people communicate?

What?

It's-it's like
talking to styrofoam.

[singing]
"Give me some time..."

Hi, Mr. Powell.
You're up.
- I'm up.

I'd have been up earlier
except my dad wanted
to talk all night long.

Where is he?
- Uh, he left.

I just took him
to the airport.

Why did you do that,
Charles?

We were having
a wonderful time together.

Well, sir, he said he had
some important things to do
back in Florida, and, uh...

he said he hated "goodbyes,"
so, he just took off.

Um...

there's something else
that uh, I gotta tell you.

I'm never going
to see my dad again,
am I, Charles?

I'm sorry.

He asked me to give you this.

[doorbell rings]

Doorbell.

[Buzz's voice]
"Dear Walter,

I want you to know
that last night

was the best night
of my entire life.

I had saved this little poem
to give to Sarah,

but now I think
you'd get more out of it.

So here goes..."

♪ ♪

"This river leads
from dark to light,

so I must say 'Adieu,'
kind friends.

But if my ship sails
from your sight,

it does not mean
my journey ends,

it only means
the river bends."

"I love you,
Dad."

Hey, Mr. Powell.

- Ah.
Hi, Buddy.

Mr. Powell, if you're not going
to be needing me anymore today,

Buddy and I would like
to go to a ball game.

Oh, to a game?

Fine, go ahead, fine.
- Thanks.

Mr. Powell,
want to go to a game with us?

To a game?
Me?
- Yeah.

Sure.

Why not?

You only live once.

♪ ♪

Hey!

Adam,
where were you all day?

You missed a great game.

I was with Kevin Holloway.

We had a big fight.
- Yeah?

Charles.
What happens after you die?

They bury you.

No, I mean,

is death the worst thing
that could possibly happen
to a person?

Not necessarily, Adam.

Now, I know it's tough
on the people
that are left behind,

but, uh...

You know,
I-I am a great believer
in Eternal Life.

You know, now, sure,
the body dies,

but that's just a chunk
of matter to begin with.

See,
I believe that the real person

just goes on and on
to better and better things.

So,
death isn't really all that bad.

Nah,
I don't think so.

Good.

I'm gonna go k*ll
Kevin Holloway.

♪ ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪♪

[fanfare]