03x02 - Piece of Cake

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ Lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just
to take good care of me ♪

♪ Like he's one
of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪♪

Welcome home,
Commander Powell, sir.
I'm Charles...

Commander Powell, hi!

Yo, Commander!
What's shakin'?

[doorbell rings]

Excuse me, sir.

Charles, I've got this
great new campaign slogan

that's gonna get me
elected treasurer.

You want to hear it?
- No.

Good.
Here it is.

If I could be your treasurer,
it would be my "pleasurer."

You see,
all I need is this picture
for my campaign poster,

and you have this great camera,
so I thought
I'd come over tomorrow...

No, no, no, no.
Not tomorrow, Buddy.

Any day but tomorrow.

Mrs. Powell's husband
is coming home tomorrow.

Commander Powell is coming here?
- Yeah, yeah.

Why?

Because he's heard
so much about you.

Why do you think?

Because he's been at sea
for six months,

and he wants to see
his wife and kids.

Well, why are you
so nervous?

Because, I've never met the man.

Buddy, what is he hates me,
you know?

What if he thinks
I'm and a bad influence
on his kids?

You'll get fired, and then
you'll have time
to take my picture.

Well, hello Lembeck!

Running for treasurer, huh?
Good man, good man.

What aren't you
insulting me, Mr. Powell?

I don't have time.

My son's coming home
on leave tomorrow.

I'll have to give you
a raincheck.

Oh, oh, okay.
You got it.

Charles, I'll see you later.
- All right.

Hi, Buddy.
Bye, Buddy.

Dad, I'm so glad you're home.
I got a telegram at work.

Robert's ship is coming
in a day early.

We'll have to leave right now,
if we're going to meet it.

Now?
No, no, we can't leave now.
There's too much to do.

Couldn't Charles do it?

Oh, I don't know.
The plumber's coming at one
to fix the kitchen sink,

Robert's clothes have
to be picked up
at the dry cleaners at three,

both the house and the kids
have to be cleaned up.

Charles is very competent.
He can take care of all that,
can't you, Charles?

Can you remember everything?

Clothes at three,
plumber at one,

both clean the house
and the kids.

Oh, and Adam has
a Bear Scout meeting at four.

Plus, you got to tell the kids
what's going on
when they get home.

Everything has to be
ship-shape for Robert.

If you think I'm tough,
wait till you meet him.

You can do it,
can't you, Charles?
- Mmm-hmm.

Scout meeting,
cleaners, plumbers.
I think so.

Are you positive?
- Piece of cake.

Okay, let's go Ellen.

[Mr. Powell]
Charles, remember.

We're depending on you.
Goodbye, goodbye.

Plumber at one,
cleaners at three,
scout meeting at four...

Or was that cleaning at one,
plumber at four,
scout meeting at three?

No, scout meeting's
at four o'clock.

Oh good, Jamie.
Uh, look, we need groceries.
Can you go to the market?

No.

Oh, all right.
I'll go to the market.

Can you start vacuuming?

No.

Okay, Sarah can vacuum,
you can dust.

No.

Jamie, what we have here,
is a failure to communicate.

Charles,
you do what you have to do.
I know what I have to do.

Jamie.
Wait a minute.

Why's Jamie acting so strange?

She's not acting.
She is strange.

Charles, guess what?
- What.

We're gonna have
a welcome home party
for Dad.

A big party.

Jamie and I can make
Dad's favorite cake
for him!

Hold it, wait a minute.

Can't we just buy him
his favorite cake?

Oh, no.
It's an old family recipe.

Frosted chocolate fudge cake.

Please, Charles.
Can we have the party?
Please?

Well, if it will make
your dad happy...

It will, Charles.

Well, we definitely want
a happy dad.
Okay.

Thanks, Charles.
- All right.
- It'll be a great party.

Uh, just one more thing?

No, Adam.
You can not set off fireworks
in the living room.

I told you so.

Whoa, whoa!
Jamie.

What are you?
A closet, closet-freak?

I've got to find my music box.

Wrong.
You've got to clean up
this mess.

Charles, you don't understand.

My dad gave me a dumb music box
and I can't find it anywhere.

Maybe I left it
at Jennifer's house.
I've got to go.

Jamie, Jamie.
What about this--
Jamie, wait a minute!

I can't believe--
What is the matter with her?

Doesn't she care
about your father's homecoming?

I don't know.

Charles?
Are you an adult?

Only in the event of w*r, Adam.

Oh, there was a plumber here
to fix the sink,

but he wouldn't do it
unless there was an adult here
to pay him.

The plumber was here?
When?

At one o'clock.

One o'clock.

Oh, that's why
your father's clothes
weren't ready at the cleaners.

I got the times mixed up.

When did the plumber say
he'd be back?

Next winter.

Next winter?

Isn't that when
hell freezes over?

What is this mess?

Where's Sarah?

She went to the mini-mart
for frosting mix.

Wh-why didn't she finish
baking the cake?

She asked me
to ask Jamie to do it.

Jamie's not here.

Oh, look.
Yeah, great.
This is just great.

"Welcome home, Commander Powell.
Have a sip of cake!"

Charles, we can still
have the party.

I-I could go to the mini-mart
and buy balloons.

Adam, I cannot cope
with balloons right now.

I have big problems like--
like plumbers and cleaners

and your sister's
bad attitude problem.

That's just why
you should put me
in charge of balloons.

Oh, fine, go ahead, all right.

Make sure you're back in time
for your scout meeting.

Get some money from Sarah,
and tell her to hurry home.
- Okay!

Charles!

This is Heidi.

Heidi, hi.

h*-de-h*!

And this is Jessica.

These two lovely extravaganzas
have volunteered to pose
for my campaign posters,

so get your camera.

I can't now, Buddy.
There's been
a big change of plans.

Commander Powell
is coming home today,
and everything is going wrong.

Look at this!
Look, here.

Commander Powell's
favorite cake.

Doesn't he eat solid foods?

Jamie and Sarah
were supposed to bake a cake.

They split and left me
holding the batter.

Charles, relax!

We'll help you.

What's going on here,
Buddy?

Yeah, you said we'd be posing
for a big New York photographer.

Did I say New York photo--
I'm sorry.

You know, Charles
is from Pennsylvania,

and that's very close
to New York.

Oh, wait a minute, wait--
here's the recipe.

The batter's already made.
I can finish this.

Well, I'll help you.

No-now wait, wait, wait.

Now this won't take very long.

Would you wait
in the living room,
okay?

Well... okay.

All right, now.

It says here,
grease the bundt pan.

What's a bundt pan?

I think that's what
prospectors use when
they were panning for bundt.

Wait, Buddy.
Don't turn the sink on.

The faucet's broken.
Buddy!

I forgot to call a plumber.

You don't need a plumber.

You need a lifeguard.

Hello, is this
Fred's Instant Plumber?

Listen,
I-I-I got a problem here.

Yeah, yeah, I'll hold.

Buddy, I think
that's the bundt pan.

[Charles]
I hope it's the bundt pan.

Please let it be the bundt pan.

Okay, now what?
- Grease it.

Yeah, hi.
Listen, uh, I got
a broken faucet here.

I...
Wait a minute, could you hold?

Buddy, Buddy,
that's bacon grease.

Yeah, you're right.

You-- you don't--
you don't use bacon grease
in a cake.

You use...

... cake grease.

Yeah, I'm sorry.
Listen, uh, how soon
can you get here?

But--
Next week?

What am I supposed to do
with this broken faucet?

Yeah, I knew you
were gonna say that.

Hey, maybe I can fix the sink.

No, first we've got to
fix the cake.

You done?

Yeah, I greased it
with margarine.
- All right.

All right...

Put it in the oven.

It doesn't say what temperature.

Uh, okay...
Let's see, you bake a potato
at 300 degrees.

And a cake is about ten times
the size of a potato.

So bake it at, um...

This oven only goes up to 550.
Will that do it?

It will if you bake it
six times as long.

Right.

[phone rings]

Oh, I'd better check
on my campaign staff
before they get cold.

All right, fine.

Powell residence.
Mr. Powell!
- Charles?

We're at the Brooklyn Navy yard
and Robert's ship
is about to dock.

Is everything ship-shape
at home?

Yes, sir.
It's smooth sailing here.

We're probably gonna
stop and eat on the way home.

We'll get there,
oh, around six...

Charles, are you sure
there's nothing's wrong there?

What-what could be wrong?

Charles, there's an emergency!

Everything is fine here, sir.
Drive carefully.

We'll see you at six o'clock,
thank you for calling, goodbye.

What emergency?
- Are you an adult?

Why?
Is the plumber back?

No, they're holding Adam
at the mini-mart

and they won't release him
except to an adult.

Holding him for what?

Shoplifting.

What?

I found my music box
at Jennifer's.

Jamie, good timing.
Listen, I gotta go down
to the mini-mart to get Adam.

I need you to stay here
and take charge.

No, not me.
I don't wanna get involved.

You don't want to be involved?
You are involved.

Maybe you don't understand,
Jamie,

your father
is coming home today.

I know that, Charles.
That's the problem.

I wish I could just disappear.

Nobody understands.

I want to see my dad,
but he won't want to see me.

♪ ♪

How could you say your father
won't want to see you?

Because...

[sighs]
Never mind.

I'm sorry, Charles.

Hold it.
We're gonna talk about this,
right now.

Charles, Adam will go to jail.

But not right, right now.

Adam!
- Charles, you're here.

Sit.

I was talking to him.

Uh, uh,
I'm here to ah--

Sit!

You are... ?

Yes, I am.

I, uh, live with the Powells
and I take care
of their children.

Not very well, apparently.

You wish to take custody
of the perpetrator?

Adam's just a child.

He hasn't started
perpetrating yet.

Really?

"Suspect was apprehended
while attempting

to remove merchandise
from premises

without tendering payment
for same."

Charles, I didn't.

I ran after Sarah
to get some money.

And as soon
as I got out the door,
she grabbed me.

Adam, why do you have
all this stuff?

It's for the party.

It's a welcome home party,
not New Year's Rockin' Eve.

Look, I'll tell you what.

Why don't I just pay
for all this stuff,
and we'll get out of here?

Shoplifting is
a serious offense,
mister.

Yes, sir.
Ah... yes, ma'am.

And I intend to deal with it
as soon as I get him home.

Perhaps a taste of the belt
will straighten the lad out.

Oh, no.

Not the belt.

Anything but the belt.

[phone rings]

Security.

Be right there.

Trouble up front.

I gotta go.

Tough love is the answer.

Now, I think I can leave
this boy in your hands.

Let's just hope he got
"scared straight."

Pay at the counter.
[Charles] Thank you.

And be careful out there.

I gotta get home and find out
what Jamie's problem is,

get you to your scout meeting,
and clean up the house.

Where is the scout meeting?

Our house.

[children chattering]

Unpack.
I'll be right back.

Charles, you're here.

No, I'm not.

This is just
a burrito-induced nightmare.

Where's Jamie?

I don't know.
She left the house
right after you did.

This is great.
I can't believe this!

Your father's gonna be home
in two hours,

the house is a disaster area,
and I've lost one of his kids.

Buddy, wake up.
I've got two hours to live.

He went into the kitchen
with Heidi and Jessica
and knocked himself out.

In front of these kids?

He fixed the sink,
but when he got up,
he hit his head on a pipe.

Cut out the
swashbuckling routine, okay?
Thank you.

Jamie, where have you been?

I went for a walk.

Now, are you gonna
tell me what...

... are you gonna tell me
what your problem is, or not?

Charles, you don't have time
for my problem.

I am making time
for your problem,
right now.

[Heidi]
We're leaving.

Charles, here's your pumpkin.

What?
Jamie, wait a minute.

Adam, I-I didn't order
any pumpkins.

Well, this is for the meeting.

And since Grandpa's not here,
you have to be the Big Bear.

Oh, all right.

Bear scouts, quick meeting.
Gather round, here we go.

Charles, the Big Bear
starts the meeting off
by growling.

Fine.
Bear Scouts!

[screams]

Yes, Sigourney, yes.

All right.

My name is Charles.
I'm your... guest bear
for today's meeting.

So, uh, help old ladies
cross the street.

Thank you and goodbye.

Charles!
We're supposed to learn
pumpkin carving today.

Oh, all right.
Everybody gather round.

Now, pumpkin drawing is better
than senseless pumpkin slashing.

Here, how's that?
Nice everybody?
Okay.

Now everybody get a pumpkin
and go into the kitchen
and get to work.

Now, there's one for you.
Go, go.

I've gotta go talk to Jamie.

Charles,
I think Buddy's conscious.

Could be.
There's a first time
for everything.

Where am I?

You're here, Buddy.
Stay here.

I gotta go talk to Jamie.
Don't move.

[coughing]

Buddy!
The cake is burning!

Move!
Move!

Jamie?
Can you come down
to the kitchen, please?

Well, Charles, at least we saved
the chocolate fudge cake.

Yeah, only now
it's charcoal fudge cake.

Did the, ah, Bear Scouts
leave yet?

Yep, and Adam and I
straightened up
the living room, too.

Thank you.

Charles, what do you want?

I wanna talk to you.

Listen, your father's
gonna be home
in less than an hour, okay?

Adam, you and Sarah are
in charge of decorations, go!

Okay.

Buddy, we still have time to
get Commander Powell's clothes
at the cleaners.

Okay, I'm on it.
- Good.

Can I go now?
- No!

Jamie, listen.

I know
you have a problem,

and I'm gonna listen
to your problem,

and I'm gonna try
and solve your problem,
all right?

Now, I admit I've been
a little crazed,

but that's only because
I'm very nervous about
meeting your father.

So am I.

Why?
You already met him.

Jamie, you're his daughter.
He loves you.

No, he doesn't.
He loves his "Little Scooter."

Your father has
a little scooter?

Yeah, me.
He's always called me that.

Ever since I was a baby.

Well, my mom calls me
"Doodlebug."

Parents are childish like that.

But I'm too old
to be "Little Scooter."

So have him
call you "Big Scooter."

It's not the name.
It's what it means.

What does it mean?

It means I'm still a baby.

Charles, the last time I spent
any real time with my father,
was when I was 13.

I'm almost 15 now,
he's going to be
expecting a little girl.

Listen to this.

[music box plays ♪]

My bad brought it from England
for my seventh birthday.

After that,
every time he came home,

he'd bring me a gold charm
from a different country.

I used to say,
"Oh, goody!
Thank you, Daddy."

And he'd say,
"Oh, Scooter!
You're welcome."

Then we'd put
the charm in the box
and we'd make a wish.

♪ ♪

That's very sweet.

[Jamie shuts off music]
No, it isn't.

I don't say things like,
"Oh, goody!" anymore.

He'll want me to,
and I can't.

You're right, Jamie.

Your father isn't expecting
to see the... young woman
you've turned into.

I-- how could he?

He... he wasn't able
to be here when...

... you stopped playing
with Barbie dolls
and started looking like one.

You know, he...

... he wasn't here
to uh, see the braces come off,
and the lipstick go on.

He wasn't here the first time
you met Steven Berkle, so,

he didn't get a chance
to see you blush.

So, I guess you can understand
that it, you know,

might take him a little while
to catch up with you.

Yeah, I guess so.

What can I do about it?

Uh... I don't know.

Wait a minute.
I have an idea.
How about this?

What if...

... the first day he's here,
you could be 12 years old.

Then the next day he's here,
you could be 13.

And then by the end of the week,
you could be your own age again.

Oh, Charles, I couldn't do that.

Daddy would like that.

Well, I guess I can stand
being a little girl again
for a couple of days.

Okay.

Oh, goody!

[music box music plays ♪]

Jamie, why are you wearing
that old dress?

Daddy likes it.
[doorbell rings]

They're here!

[Buddy]
Charles.

Oh, Buddy, you're a lifesaver.
You got the Commander's clothes
from the cleaners.

Yeah, not only that.
I went to the copy shop
next to the cleaners,

and I got one of these
computer print-out banners.

It's my little contribution
to the party.

"Welcome Home, Dud?"

Thanks, Buddy.
"Dud" is gonna love it.

Hey, no wonder
they didn't charge me.

Ah, no problem.
I can take care of this.

Well, hi, everybody.

Where's Daddy?

Well, the Navy had
a little change of plans,
Sarah.

Your father's ship
isn't staying in Brooklyn.

She's going on
to Norfolk, Virginia.

Oh, no.

But... he asked us to come home,
get you all packed,

and take you down to Norfolk
for the weekend.

[cheering]

And, he said to be sure that
Adam brings his catcher's mitt,
Sarah brings her poetry,

and Jamie brings her music box.

Jamie, you're wearing
your little sailor dress.

You look so cute.

I know.

Okay, come on.
Let's go upstairs
and get packed.

Oh, I'll take this.

We've got to be
at the airport in an hour.

[Mr. Powell]
Let's go.

I can't believe he thinks
I still like this thing.

[music box plays ♪]

You know something?

I do.

Charles, my son asked me
to thank you for... everything
you've done for this family.

Now I know today's been easy,

but there are gonna be days
when it'll really get rough.

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Buddy, listen,
I want to thank you
for all your help today.

Now, it was no piece of cake,
but if the Commander
had come home,

we'd have been ready for him.
I mean, we did it.
- I know.

Charles, did you get
Robert's blue suit?

He's gonna want to wear it.

Oh, yeah, Buddy went and got it.
I'll bring it right up, okay?

See what I mean?

We even got the Commander's suit
from the cleaners.

♪ ♪

Hey Charles,
I found your camera.

Now you can snap some shots
for my campaign poster.

Fine, just help me
get this stuff down, will you?

No, Charles.
We don't have time.

Jessica and Heidi
are on their way over here
in their bikinis to pose for us.

Oh, all right.

Wait a minute.

Buddy, it just hit me.

You're the one
running for class treasurer.

It's got to be your picture
on the poster.

Not Heidi's.
Not Jessica's.

Yours.

Geez, Charles, everytime
I come up with a great idea,
you try and burst my bubble.

I... I can't believe
what I'm hearing from you.

You actually invited two girls
over here in bikinis,

so you could take pictures
of them,

which you have
no intention of using.

You know what you are?
- No, what?

Buddy, you are... brilliant!

[pops balloon]

♪ ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days,
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs,
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪♪

[fanfare]