03x03 - Dorm Warnings

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just
to take good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one
of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[doorbell rings]

[Mr. Powell]
Doorbell.

Charles?

Here!
- Oh, there you are.

Doorbell?
- No, Mr. Powell.

I rang the bell
because I forgot my key,

see, then I realized
that the door
might not be locked,

and it wasn't,
so I walked in
and here I am.

Yeah, well, that might be
a reason to be mildly cheerful,

but do you really think it calls
for unbridled hysteria?

Mr. Powell, I have been named
"Student of the Year."

Well, congratulations.

Thank you.
- Why?

Well, you see, the award
was based on my... um...

it was based
on my scholastic record,

extra-curricular activities,

and the fact that I live here,
take care of three kids
while going to school full-time.

In other words,
you couldn't have done it
without me.

You're welcome.
- Thank you.

Oh, wait, Mr. Powell.

The best part, the best part.

Next week,
I fly to Washington D.C.,
and get my award from...

... are you ready for this?
- Uh-huh.

The President
of the United States.

You're kidding.

You mean,
I served in the U.S. Navy
for 35 years,

protecting my country,
and I never even met John Wayne!

[doorbell rings]

I'll get...
- Oh, oh, oh.
No, no!

You know people in high places.

I'm just a lowly, bemedalled,
twice-wounded veteran.

Hello, I'm from
the New Brunswick Beacon.

I'm sorry, we subscribe
to the Journal-American.

No,ju-ju-ju--
I'm here to interview
the Student of the Year.

[Charles] Oh!
That's for me.

Hi, I'm Pat Walker.
You must be Charles.
- Hi.

Yes, he is,
and I'm Walter Powell,
his employer.

Well, how do you do?
You must be very proud
of Charles.

Well, it is rather gratifying
to know that all my efforts
have not been in vain.

Excuse me.

Well, Charles, I can't tell you
how pleased I am to meet you.

Oh, the pleasure is all mine.

Please, sit down.
- Thank you.

You know,
I-I can't believe that,
that you're gonna interview me.

I mean, I read your column
all the time and,

I thought you only did
those hard-hitting exposés.

Well, my field is
investigative reporting,

but I thought it would be nice
to do a happy story
for a change.

You mean, you asked
for this assignment?

No, I just got... lucky.

Oh, well, at least
you're not here to expose me.

Oh, certainly not.
Just a few questions.

I-- do you mind
if I record this?

No, not at all.

Now.

I understand that you maintain
a three-point grade average

while looking--
- Oh, excuse me.

Three-point-four.

Three-point-four
grade average

while looking after
three children.

How do you do that?

Well, it isn't always easy,
but, uh, it's always difficult.

I'm sure,
I understand that Mrs. Powell,

along with her father-in-law,
live here.

One wonders
why they need your help at all.

Here, you can hold this.

Uh.

Well, for-for one thing,
they-they both work.

Oh, I see.
So then, in fact,
you're actually a baby-sitter.

No, not really.

No?
Then, what are you?

I'm-I'm-I'm suddenly thirsty.
Would uh, would you like a soda?

Oh, yes.
Thank you.

Charles,
I'd like to pursue this.

Why do you say
you're not a baby-sitter?

Well, uh,
because the children
aren't babies,

and I do more than
just sit with them.

See, I uh, I teach them,
I advise them, and uh...

I help them
solve their problems.

They-they depend on me
for almost everything.

[Charles] Hey!
[girls] Hi.

Jamie, Sarah, say "hello"
to Miss Walker
from the newspaper.

[females]
Hi.

Boy, you girls must be
very proud of Charles.

Why?

Don't you know?
He's been named
"Student of the Year."

Really?
Congratulations, Charles.

Yeah, Charles, that's great.

Thanks.

Oh, uh, excuse me.
Um...

Sarah, uh--
Michael Simpson wants you
to call him right away.

I can't, Charles.

I gave it a lot of thought,
and I decided
that I have to free Michael

before I can be
truly free myself.

What does that mean?

It means, she dumped him.

Why?

It's personal, Charles,
so please don't interfere.

Nice meeting you, Miss Walker.

Excuse me.
I've got to throw away
a ton of clothes.

Wait, what, Jamie.
What does that mean?

You see, I had my color chart
done for me at the mall today.

I'm only compatible
with peach, lemon,
cocoa, and ecru.

Everything else I own
is history.

You look good in any color!

Charles, it is so cute
when you talk about fashion.

But, it isn't your field,
so forget it.

It was nice meeting you,
Miss Walker.

So... where were we?

You were telling me
how the children depend on you.

Would you like
to stick to that story?

Yes.

In fact, the entire family
depends on me.

[doorbell rings]
[Mr. Powell] Doorbell!

Another of my many duties.
Excuse me.

Hey!
- Hey, there's
the student of the year.

Congratulations, Charles.
- Thanks, Buddy.

This is, uh, Miss Walker
from the newspaper.

Nice to meet you!

My name is Buddence Lembeck,
I'm Charles' best friend.

And-and, I taught him
everything he knows.

Hello.
Buddence.

[Charles]
Uh.

Buddy, Miss Walker
is here to interview me.

You-you can come back later,
if you want.

Oh, no, Charles,
if you don't mind.

I would love to get some input
from your...

Oh, sure, go ahead.
Ask me anything you want.

... friend.
Uh, do you mind?

Now, I'd like
your honest opinion.

Would you say that Charles
is a responsible person?

Oh, are you kidding?

Charles is so responsible,

he's given up
all of the important things
in life, like, uh...

... girls, parties, fun.

The stuff that dreams
are made of.

Very interesting.
Why would he do that?

He wouldn't.

He hasn't given up anything,
Buddy.

Oh, are-are you saying
that your social life

is as exciting as it would be
as if you lived in a dorm?

Well, yes.

Well, no.

I mean, I know
I'm missing a lot
by living here.

And, um, you know,
my-my life would be different
if I was living in the dorm,

I'm sure I'd be having
much more fun.

But living in this house,
with this family,
is even more... rewarding.

Oh, I see, that's why
you stay here.

It's financially
more rewarding.

Oh, no, I could be working
for my mom at the pizza parlor

and making much more money
than I do here.

[Buddy]
Hey, then you could afford
to move into the dorm.

My roommate checked out
last week.

Charles,
you could live with me!

Wouldn't that be
a kick in the pants, Buddy,

me and you
rooming together?
- Yeah!

I mean,
talk about fun, huh?

And yet, you stay here.
Why?

[Charles]
The Powells need me.

I couldn't just walk out
on them.

I mean,
they're nice people.

I see.

Doesn't living here
severely limit
your romantic life?

Well, I don't bring dates
to the house.

I mean, it's kinda difficult
to entertain somebody

when you have three kids
hanging on your neck.

But--
Hey!

Adam, say hello to Miss Walker
from the newspaper.

Hi, Adam.

How'd the game go?

Terrible.

Our team played
Kevin Holloway's team.

I struck out
five times in a row.

Oh, sorry to hear that, Adam.

I tell you what,
I'll come upstairs later

and give you a couple
of batting pointers, all right?

Uh, no, thanks, Charles.

Kevin says you already
ruined my batting stance.

Nice meeting you,
Miss Walker.

Charles...

I'm going to ask you
the one question
you must be asking yourself.

Do these children
really need you?

Yes.
I think they do.

Well.
Thank you, Charles.

This has been most enjoyable,
really.

And congratulations, again!
- Thanks.

Goodbye, Buddy.

Oh, uh, just one...
hypothetical question.

Is it possible that...
I could write
a different story here?

A story... about a young man
who clings desperately

to a family that
has outgrown him?

A family that loves him
and doesn't want to hurt him?

A family that he won't leave,

because he can't admit that,
he, too, has outgrown them?

No.

Goodbye, Charles.

Oh, no, wait!
I-I kinda like it.

See, maybe the young man
moves to South America

and-and meets this beautiful,
mysterious, female guide.

And then maybe,
maybe the guide
is an Inca Goddess

who gives him the-the secret
to eternal virility

and-and a free trip to Bimini!

And then, maybe, maybe...!

I can't believe
that Charles wants to leave us.

Well,
I'm afraid it's true, Ellen.

He didn't know
we were listening,

but well,
we all heard him.

Yeah!
He said he's missing
the fun of campus life.

He said he wanted to move
into the dorm with Buddy.

He wants to work for his mom
at the Pizza Parlor
so he can make more money.

He said
he can't even have
a girlfriend,

because we're always
hanging on his neck.

Why didn't he say
something to us?

Well, he doesn't want
to hurt us.

I heard him tell the reporter
that he just didn't have it
in him to walk out on us.

Well, in that case,
we can never let Charles know
how much we need him.

Why not?

Because, we love him
and we want him to be happy.

And if he wants to leave us,
well... oh, I hate to say this.

We're just going to
have to let Charles go.

You're right, Ellen.

And we should make it as easy
for him as we possibly can.

Don't worry,
I'll handle it.

I'll be subtle.

It's what I do best.

Uh-oh.

Hi, Mr. Powell.

[clears throat]
Charles.

Hello.

Anything you wanna tell me?

Me?
No, no.

Anything you wanna tell me?

No, not really.

Well,
it was nice talking to you.

See you tomorrow.

Unless you move out.

[Charles]
What?

You want me to move out?

Not necessarily.

But if you ever do decide
that you wanna to move out,
well...

Well, it wouldn't break
anyone's heart.

♪ ♪

[knocking]

Charles?

[Charles]
Be right out, Buddy.

Yeah, well,
this had better be important.

When you called,
I was right in the middle

of playing
full contact ping pong
with the Delfluvio sisters.

[Charles]
It is important.

Oh.
What is it?

I quit my job.

I'm leaving the Powells
and I'm moving into the dorm
with you.

Yes!

♪ ♪

[chattering]

♪ ♪

Let the games... begin.

Buddy.

[coughing]

[spits]

It is unbelievable.

Oh, no, that's nothing.
I usually hit the other wall.

No, no, I mean this party.

Charles,
this is just the warm-up.

Wait 'til you see the party
we're gonna throw next Saturday.

Incoming!
- Whoa!

Unbelievable.

Wait, wait a minute.
Wait, wait a minute.
Where's my ant farm?

I-- I put it in your closet.

Oh.
Where's my closet?

Buddy, I can't believe
I wasted a whole year of my life
living with the Powells.

But, let me ask
you a question.

All this partying going on,
how does anybody
have time to study?

[record skips]

Charles,
you said the 's' word.

He-he didn't mean it.
He-he didn't mean it.

He didn't mean it.
He's new.

Um... Everybody limbo!
[cheering]

♪ ♪

Why did you have to
mention studying?

Well, because
I'm in college, Buddy.

I gotta study sometime, right?

Fine.
Study now, if you want to.

On the other hand,

you see that little blonde
back there?

Her name is Vicki
and she's very attracted to you.

Now, which is it
going to be, Charles?

The lady... or the textbook?

I like this place.
- Yes!

♪ ♪

Hi, Charles,
having fun?

Hey!

Hey, what are you guys
doing here?

Picking up a pizza.
Adam, go get the pizza.

So, how do you like
your new job?

Well, I've only been here
for uh...

... three days, nine hours,
and 17 minutes,

but so far,
it's terrific!

How's everything at home?

Oh, wonderful.

Good.

Must be nice
to be out on your own, huh?

Oh, we're not exactly
on our own.

Mom got Mrs. Ferguson
to come over every day.

Oh, I thought you guys
didn't like Mrs. Ferguson.

Oh, we do now.
She's changed.

Yeah.
She's older, and sort of mellow.

Yeah.
Old and mellow.

So, how are you doing
at the dorm?

Great!
Just great.

Oh... that's nice!

Well, let's go, guys.

See you, Charles.
Bye.

Bye!
- Bye, Charles.

Hey, Charles.

When are you gonna be done?
We've got another party
to go to.

Another party, Buddy?
That makes four nights
in a row.

I know, it's great, isn't it?

We're making a run
at the dorm record.

All right, look.
I'm gonna finish up here,
go back to our room and study.

You go to the party
without me.

You can't study in our room.

The party is in our room.

Buddy, the party was
in our room two nights ago.

How can it be our turn again?

I-I-I pulled some strings.

I'll see you back at the dorm,
all right?

♪ ♪

Charles.

- Charles.

Charles?

Were you sleeping?

No.
I was developing film.

Attention, please.

Professor Harris.
Now we've really had it.

I was just passing by
and I heard the call
of the wild.

Charles!
Well, I didn't expect
to find you here.

Hello?

I, uh, I moved in
a few days ago.

Too bad.
Oh, well.

You're getting A's in my class,

so even if
you drop down a few grades,

you still won't fail.

On the other hand, Buddy,
if you get an F...

it'll be a step up.

Bye.

Charles, I have
a little problem.

My ant farm broke
and all of my ants got loose.

It's the middle of the night,
I can't sleep.

Strangers know
what color my pajamas are.

Why should I care
if your ants got loose?

Well, because some of them
are probably in your bed.

All right, okay, that's it.
Everybody out!

The-the party's over.
Everybody out!

Everybody over to Alan's room.
[cheering]

[knocking]

Charles?

Oh, my...

... goodness!

Hi, kids.
What's happening?

Good morning.
Buddy said we could come up.

We were dying
to see your new home.
[Charles] Oh.

Wow!

It's the neatest place
I've ever seen.

Don't you mean
the messiest place?

Well, yeah.
That's what's so neat about it.

I wish I could keep
my room like this.

Well, it--

it's only fun
for a little while, Adam.

Then the uh... then the chaos
would kinda drive you crazy.

Does that mean
you're not happy here?

Me, no, no.
I'm having a ball.

How's everything at home?
Still, uh...

Still getting along
with good, old,
mellow Mrs. Ferguson?

Oh, yeah.
She's really... nice.

Good, good.
Well...

You're happy,
and... I'm happy.

I-I-I guess
everybody's happy.

Charles, I can't stand this.

Nobody's happy.

Mom's unhappy.

Grandpa's unhappy.

We're all unhappy.

We really want you
to come home.

Please, Charles.

We heard you tell that reporter
you didn't like living
in our house,

but we'll try
to make it better for you.

Wait, Sarah, you're confused.

Um... I-I loved living there.

I-I didn't think you guys
needed me anymore.

Charles, we do need you.

We always did.

Well then, I'm confused.

I heard you guys
talking to your mom
and your grandfather

and I-I-I thought you
wanted me to leave.

Okay, I'll settle this.

Everybody who wanted Charles
to move out of our house,
raise their hand.

Everybody who wanted to move out
of our house, raise his hand.

Charles, will you come home?

You're kidding?
I'd-I'd love to.

[cheering]

I guess
I'll have to uh, quit my job,
and uh...

What am gonna tell Buddy?

Don't worry, he'll understand.

Even if he doesn't... who cares?

I do.

Well, look, uh,
next time,

any of us
has anything on our minds,

I think we should talk about it,
okay?

All right, now,
why don't you guys run home

and tell your mom
and your grandfather,

and I'll be home
in about an hour,
all right?

[Adam] Bye, Charles.
[Jamie] All right.
[Buddy] Arlo?

Arlo?

Hi, kids.

[kids]
Bye, Buddy.

Arlo?

I found all of my ants
except for Arlo.

He usually comes
when I call him.

Arlo?

Maybe he went on a picnic.

Buddy, I'm-I'm really sorry
about last night.

Oh, it's okay.

What the kids want?

Oh, uh... they just came by
to ask me if I, uh...
wanted to go back home.

Really?

Do you want to?

No, if you want me to?

No, I mean, it's up to you.
- Nah, it's up to you.

It's up to you.
- It's up to you.

It's up to you.
- It's up to you.

Okay, move out.
- You got it.

We still friends?

Forever.

Ants.

Arlo!

Gotcha.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I'm sorry
you weren't here last week
when I was interviewing Charles,

but you've been
most helpful today.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

Just... one thing.

You know, you've...
you've told me how Charles
has influenced the children.

But before I go,

I'd like to ask you
the one question,

I know you must be
asking yourself.

Do you really want
your children to be influenced

by an untamed,
young college student?

Miss Walker,
Charles may be young,

but I'd hardly describe him
as untamed.

If anything,
he's had a calming effect
on the children.

[Charles]
Everybody limbo!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪♪

[fanfare]