03x04 - Speechless

[bunniefuu]

♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just
to take good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one
of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪♪

♪ ♪

[door opens]

Jamie, you're making
a big mistake.

Sarah, don't give me advice.
You're still my little sister.

Charles,
Jamie isn't going to college.

I know that, Sarah.
She's going
to junior high school.

I mean, ever.

It's kind of early
for you

to be making
that kind of decision,
isn't it, shortie?

No.

I have to decide now,

what courses
I'm gonna take in high school.

So, you take
some college prep courses.

That doesn't mean you have
to go to college.

No, but it means I have
to take a lot of hard subjects.

I want to have fun
while I'm young enough
to enjoy it.

Jamie, you can have fun
in college.

I do.

Are you having fun now?

Right now I'm studying,
but it'll all be worth it

when I get an 'A'
in U.S. history.

And, what if you get an 'F'?

That is impossible.

I've been working day and night
for three weeks on this report
that Buddy and I have to do.

Gee, Charles.
How do you handle all that fun?

Nice try, Charles.

Hello, Charles.
Look what I found
on the doorstep.

A stoop.

Hello, Mr. Powell.
Buddy, where have you been?

Oh, I went
to the videotape store.

Hey, that's where I've been.

Excuse me.

For a moment,
I thought I lived here.

Would you rather I wait
until you're finished?

I'd rather you wait
until I'm dead.

There, now.
A movie's not a movie
without some popcorn.

Excuse me.

Buddy, you were supposed to go
to the history lecture
and take notes,

while I stayed here
and worked on our report.

I did go
to the history lecture.

That's why I got this movie,
"They Died With Their Boots On."

It's about Custer's last stand,

and our report is
on General Custer.

So I was thinking,

"Why stand up
and give a dull speech

when we can act out
an exciting play?"

No, Buddy, we're supposed
to hand in a written report.

No, news update, Charles.

Professor Corey changed
the assignment today.

We're not doing it
as a written report.

We've got to give it
as a speech.

No way.
No way.

Forget it, Buddy.
He can't change it to a speech
at the last minute.

You and I are handing in
a written report.

Charles, you don't understand.

If we hand in a written report,

we'll both flunk the course.

Now, here's my plan.

I was thinking,
when we get up there,
you can be General Custer...

Uh-huh.
- ... and I'll be Sitting Bull.

Oh, good.
Here's my plan.

I'll be in the general audience,
and you can be up there
sh**ting bull.

What do you mean?

What I mean is, Buddy,
as of right now,

I am out of this.

You are gonna
make the speech.

No, Charles.
If you're out of this,

then you're gonna
flunk the course.

I see what you mean, Charles.

College looks like
it's a laugh a second.

Oh, hi, Aunt Lillian.
I didn't know you were here.

Oh, hi, Buddy.

Ellen's working late,
so I volunteered to make dinner.

I'm not good with dinner.

Well, I'm gonna go
watch my movie.

Oh, what are you gonna see,
Mr. Powell?

A silent film,
with my favorite star,
The Little tr*mp.

Great, what's her name?

His name, Lembeck,
Charlie Chaplin.

Hey, guess what?
I get to play in tomorrow's
football game.

Oh, way to go, pal.
- Oh, good for you, Adam.

Great news, Adam!

When did the coach realize
you were too good
to sit on the bench?

Right after
Larry Snyder got the flu
and Mark Fishman broke his leg.

Oh, well, congratulations.

Come on,
tell me all about it.

Where's Charles?

Oh, he's in his room,
getting some more stuff together
for our history report.

Oh, you're still working
on the material for that essay
about uh, General Custer.

Oh, yeah,
only it's not an essay anymore.

Our professor changed it
to a speech
in front of the class.

A speech?

What did Charles say
when he found out?

Same thing Custer said
when he saw all those Indians.

That doesn't surprise me.

Buddy, uh...

Charles has a-a problem
about speaking in public.

Get outta here!

Ol' "life-of-the-party" Charles?

The man with the golden tongue?

No, Buddy.

You're talking about
social occasions.

I'm talking about speaking
in front of groups,

especially groups
of his peers.

He would rather die.

Are you serious?

I'm his mother.
Trust me.

When he was a boy,
he had to give a speech

on how he spent
his summer vacation.

It was a disaster.

Well, I've studied psychology.
Maybe I can help him.

How did he spend
his summer vacation
that year?

At camp, in the mountains.
Why?

Aha!

Acrophobia,
the fear of heights.

What happened in the mountains?

It rained a lot.
- Aha!

Astraphobia,
the fear of thunderstorms.

What did he do
when it wasn't raining?

Swimming.
- Aha!

Hydrophobia,
the fear of water.

Charles is a very sick man.

Buddy, his fear has nothing
to do with camp.

He was 12 years old.

His voice was changing.

He stood to give his speech,
and his voice cracked.

Aha!
Hormonophobia.

The fear of puberty.

The whole class laughed at him.

Since then, anytime he stands up
in front of the public,

his voice goes out.

Aunt Lillian,
Charles is my best friend,

and I'm going to make him
give that speech.

You can try,
but when you're through,

be prepared to go
and get yourself
a new best friend.

Aha!
New best friend.

♪ ♪

You know what, Charles,
your mom has this crazy idea

that you want me
to give the speech

because you're afraid to do it.

Me?
Afraid?

Buddy.

I can make that speech
with one lip tied
behind my back.

The thing is, I mean,
I would never, in my right mind,

want to steal your moment
in the limelight.

Beautiful girls looking at me
and thinking to themselves,

"Is this guy intelligent,
or what?"

Yeah, I love it.

Good.
Here's the research material.

And, uh, here's
the tape recorder.

Charles,
I'll never be able to memorize
all of this by tomorrow.

You know, it looks like
you'll have to give the speech.

No!

Bu-Buddy, listen.

I-I-I got my pleasure
from writing this speech.

Only a worthless, low-life,
garbage-eating c*ck

would keep his friend
from sharing their victory.

Buddy, you can memorize
this speech.

All you have to do
is dictate it into
this tape recorder,

and play it over and over
until it's emblazed

into that tiny,
burned-out light bulb
you call a brain.

Oh, gee, Charles.

You should have been a priest,
or a hockey coach perhaps.

Talk about inspiring.

Yeah, sorry.

Maybe it is a little long.

I'll tell you what.
I'll spend the rest
of the day condensing it.

Why don't you,
uh, start recording

and just hit
the high points, okay?

All right.

"On June 22nd, 1876,

of General Custer..."

[hiccups]

Excuse me.

"...rode out to fight
what they believed to be
a small group of Indians."

[hiccups]

Mmm.
Excuse me.

"Many of the men were excited.

Others were filled
with doubt..."

It's almost game time.

Do you guys
want to go or not?

No, sorry, pal.
I can't make it.

I'll be there.

Wish me luck.
- You don't need luck.
It's gonna be a m*ssacre.

All right.

"What would Custer's men
have said,

had they known they'd be facing
over 3,000 Indian warriors

before that day was over?"

Forget it.

Charles, my mind is made up.

I'm not going to college,
and go through what you guys
are going through.

Okay?

[Jamie]
Grandpa!

Go ahead, Buddy.
- Oh, right.

"The Indians,
under Chief Crazy Horse,
attacked Custer

whom they called,
'Yellow-Hair,'

shouting their battle cry..."

Cut it off.
Uh, yes, sir?

Jamie just told me
she wasn't going to college.

Does anyone here know why?

Well, she doesn't think
she's smart enough, sir.

Well, that's ridiculous!

Lembeck!
You're in college, aren't you?

Yes, sir.

I rest my case.

Thanks for stopping by.

[chanting]
We're number one!

Charles, you should've been
at that game.

Oh, he couldn't, Grandpa.

He's too busy
having fun in college.

Adam,
you did okay, huh?

Okay?
He did better than okay.

Get this, Charles.
It's the fourth quarter.

The game's tied.

Yeah.

There's 12 seconds left.

Emerson Elementary
is on their own 30 yard line.

The quarterback fades back,
he throws a pass,

it's intercepted by--
Girls?

[girls] Adam Powell!
[Mr. Powell] h*-h*!

He takes off.
He's on the 20, the 15,

the ten, the five,
the three.

Why'd you stop at the three?

That's where I stopped.

Why'd you stop
at the three?

The opposing team
knocked him down
and stood on his face.

[Mr. Powell]
Yeah.

Whistle blew,
the game was over.

For the first time in history,
Adam's school tied
Emerson Elementary.

All because of--
Girls?

[girls]
Adam Powell!

[Charles] All right.
Congratulations, Adam.

You must be pretty happy, huh?

Yeah, I guess I should be.

Eleven big guys jumped on me
at the same time,

and I'm still alive.

I'll tell you what, Adam.

Later on tonight,
we'll call your dad in Honolulu,

and tell him
how well you did, huh?

Yeah!
- Come on.

Well, that's thirsty work.
[clears throat]

Lillian, we deserve
a cold drink.

How 'bout you, Charles?
- Oh, no, thank you, sir.

I just finished a speech that
Buddy and I have to go over.

Oh, Buddy, sweetheart.
You were terrific!

You certainly were
the best cheering section
I've ever heard.

The only thing, Lembeck.

The next time
you get that loud,

don't sit near me.

Charles,
you should've heard him.

He yelled himself hoarse.

Hoarse?

Buddy.

Can... can I...
ask you a question?

Are you nuts?

How could you
get yourself hoarse

the day before
you have to give
a big speech?

You could lose
your voice altogether,
Buddy.

Then, we'd both flunk.

Is that what you want?

[mouths silently]

What?

I can't hear you.
Louder, Buddy.

[silently]

♪ ♪

I can't believe
you lost your voice

at a grammar school
football game.

Now, Buddy, you know that
I am not gonna give that speech,

and if you don't
give the speech,

we're both gonna flunk.

All right.

Here.
Drink this.

Come on, Buddy.
It-it-it's--

It's an old home remedy
for laryngitis.

It comes with
a voice-back guarantee.

Now, come on, drink it.

Come on,
here-here comes the airplane,
open the hangar door, Buddy.

Come on--
[airplane engine noise]

Come on, Buddy, drink it.

This is gonna hurt me
more than it hurts you.

[grunts]

[squeals]

Bud, hear that?
Your croaking's
getting louder already!

Wait a minute, it's not supposed
to taste that bad.

Oh, no wonder why.

I forgot to add lemon juice.

Lemon juice'll give it
a nice tangy flavor.

[Charles]
You'll like that, Buddy.

It'll also give you
your voice back.

I'll like that.

Now, you drink this, Buddy,
and our problem will be solved.

I think the theory is, that, uh,
it shrinks your vocal chords.

I was wrong.
It shrinks your whole body.

Adam, what are you doing?
Where's Buddy?

He left.

I'll drink that stuff,
if it'll solve my problem.

What's your problem?

Well, I really like basketball,
and baseball, too.

But the thing is, uh...

You're, uh, not crazy
about football, are you?

I'm smaller
than almost everybody
on the team.

So when all those guys
jump on me,
it's more hurt than fun.

Mmm.
So, why do you play?

It seems to mean
a lot to Grandpa.

Well, Adam,
which do you dread more?

Playing football,

or telling your grandfather
that you don't wanna
play football.

I don't know.

Either way, I get jumped on.

Why does everybody
have a problem
when I have a problem?

What's your problem, Charles?

Buddy can't talk.

My problem is, Sarah can talk.

I mean,
she's driving me crazy

about taking all these
college prep courses
in high school.

And I just read this article
that says that a college degree

does not guarantee
that you'll get a good job.

That's true, Jamie,
but sometimes not having
a college degree

guarantees that
you won't get a good job.

So, why not keep
your options open.

I keep thinking about all those
hard college prep courses.

I mean, geometry,
algebra, French.

I'll never learn
to speak French.

Don't be ridiculous!

In Paris, even little babies
learn how to speak French.

What if I fail?

Jamie, if you don't try,
you've already failed.

So, what have you got to lose?

I don't know.

It's pretty scary.

I'll have to think about it.
- Okay.

What wonderful advice.

"If you don't try,
you've already failed."

Did you just make that up?

No, I--
I think somebody taught me that
a long time ago.

Who could it have been?

A genius, a prophet,
a wise old owl?

My mommy taught me that.

[snickering]

[phone rings]
[Charles] I'll get it.

Powell residence.

Hey, hey, hey.
Listen, you sicko.

It's against the law
to call up people
and breathe over the phone.

Buddy?

Is that you?

No, look.
Breathe once for yes
and twice for no.

It is you.
Listen to me.

Are you gonna make
that speech tomorrow or not?

No, breathe once for yes
and twice for no.

All right, that's once.
If you breathe that
second breath,

it'll be the last breath
you ever breathe.

You did it.
Hey, Bu-Buddy?

[sighs]
[slams phone]

Charles,
would you keep it down?

We're trying to watch
a movie here.

I'm sorry, Mr. Powell.

Why don't you, uh,
turn the volume up?

It's a silent film.

It's good, isn't it,
Sarah?

Yeah, it's really funny.

I just wish
I could hear him talk.

If they can add color
to black and white movies,

couldn't they add sound
to silent movies?

Yeah, I guess so.

But it'd be kinda difficult
synchronizing one actor's lips
to another actor's voice.

Could be done.

If the person
were desperate enough.

And I am.

[snickers and laughing]

Come on, come on.
Jamie, Sa-- Adam, please.

Charles,
do we have to do this?
- Yes, we have to do this.

Sit over there
with your sisters.

I want you guys
to be my audience.

Okay.

Now here's the deal.

Buddy is supposed to make
our speech tomorrow

in history class,
but he can't talk.

So, what I'm gonna do is,
I'm gonna try

and synchronize my lips
to Buddy's voice on this tape.

Okay?
Now, there are
a couple of interruptions but,

I figure if I do this well,
I'll put my voice in the tape,

and synchronize my lips
to my voice on the tape, okay?

Why?
- Because.

Don't ask questions, Jamie.
I'm under enough pressure.

Let's see if I can do this
in front of a, um...

... uh, live audience.

[breathes rapidly]

[Buddy's voice]
"On June 22nd, 1876,

of General Custer...

[hiccups]
Excuse me.

... rode out to fight
what they believed to be
a small group of Indians.

[hiccups]
[children laugh]
Excuse me.

Many of the men
were excited.

Others were filled
with doubt.

[Adam's voice]
It's almost game time.
You guys want to go or not?

[Charles' voice]
Sorry, pal.
I can't make it.

[Buddy's voice] I'll be there.
[Adam's voice] Wish me luck.

[Charles' voice]
You don't need luck.
It's gonna be a m*ssacre.

[Adam's voice]
All right.

[children laugh]

[Buddy's voice]
"What would Custer's men
have said,

had they known
they'd be facing

over 3,000 Indian warriors
before that day was over?"

[Adam's voice]
Forget it.

[Buddy's voice] "The Indians,
under Chief Crazy Horse,
attacked Custer,

whom they called 'Yellow-Hair,'
shouting their battle cry..."

[Charles' voice]
Cut it off.

I guess it is kinda funny.

It was dumb to think that, uh,
that I could pull this off
in the first place.

Thanks for putting up with me.

I wouldn't laughed
if I thought you were serious.
- Me, neither.

I'd never laugh at anyone
trying to make a serious speech.

Nah, it's all right.
I, uh...

It was a bad idea, anyway.
Thanks.

Uh, you can go downstairs
and watch TV now.

You know,
I don't get it.

If Buddy can't talk,
why don't you just make
the speech with your own voice?

Jamie, it's a matter
of principle.

I mean...

Buddy shouldn't have
lost his voice.

Maybe not, but if you've
lost your voice,

I bet Buddy would make
the speech.

Maybe so, but, um...

See, the thing is, Jamie,
that I'm...

I'm not real good at speaking
in front of my class.

So?
Who is?

All you can do is try.

Yeah, but, Jamie,
if I blow it,

Buddy and I will both
fail the course.

Charles,
remember what you told me?

You said, "If you don't try,
you've already failed."

That's true, I did say that.
That's right.

And, and, as you
go through life,

you should always
remember that.

Does it only apply to me?

No.

It also applies to, uh,
Sarah and Adam.

And, um...

... and Buddy.

And you.

[chanting]
I'm number one!

Four score and seven years ago,
I was unable to speak in public.

But now... that's history.

Adam, my old friend.
How you doin'?

Listen, I gave a k*ller speech
today in history class.
What do you think of that?

I don't wanna play football.

Thank you.

What do I tell Grandpa?
- Where is he?

He's in the kitchen.
But, your mom's in there, too.

Oh, okay, come here.
Here's what you tell him, Adam.

You have to tell him,
"Grandpa.

I can't live
another man's dreams.

I can not follow
in another man's footsteps.

Grandpa,
I have to be true to myself."

Can you remember that, Adam?

Yeah, I think so.

Good.

Mr. Powell,
could you come out here
for a second?

Adam needs to speak with you.

Remember that: Dreams,
footsteps, true to yourself.
[whispers] Go!

What is it, Adam?

Grandpa,
I don't wanna play football.

Then, don't.
Excuse me.

Thanks, Charles.

Hey, Jamie,
guess what?

I gave a speech today,
in, uh, history.

You did?
- Uh-huh.
- That's...

... très bien!

What?

Très bien, it's French.
- Oh.

If I'm gonna be modelling
for Yves St. Laurent,

I figure I'd better
learn his language, right?

Right.

How about algebra?

I don't speak any algebra yet...

But I will, next year.

Oh, you're gonna take
some college prep courses, eh?

What have I got to lose?

Oh, and congratulations
on your speech.
- Thank you.

Speech?
What speech?

Oh, Mom.
I, your brilliant son,
gave a speech today.

You did?
- Yeah.
- That's wonderful!

And you're still conscious.

Were ya... a little nervous?

Oh, I was a big nervous.

My-my mouth got dry
and my-my-my palms
got all sweaty,

but, Mom,
I got through it.

Oh, I'm proud of you,
sweetheart.
- Thanks.

[doorbell rings]
Come in.

Hey, Buddy!
Come on in.
- Oh, Buddy.

Charles gave a speech
in history class today.

Oh, Mom,
he still can't talk,
but he was right there

in the front row,
right behind me.

[silently]

It was that good, huh?

I figure we'll get at least
a 'B-minus' on it.

A 'B-minus?'
Are you kidding?

Charles was terrific.
You...

Never lost your voice, did you?

You know.

I feel like hurting
your entire person.

Charles...
- I was up there, Buddy.

... I want you to know
that I was there,

just in case you crumbled...
- I was dying
and you knew I was...

- ... and I did this
for your own good.
- ... and, you made me--

Boys!
Play nice.

♪ ♪

Why?

Because it means
I'll be old enough

to say "yes" to boys
when they ask me.

No, Sarah.

Never say "yes"
to boys.

Always say "no."

You want me to say "no"
every time a boy
asks me out on a date?

Oh.

Oh, a date, yes.
You can say "yes" to dates.

But always say "no" to boys
after you say "yes" to dates.

That's pretty confusing,
Charles.

I don't even know
how to talk to boys

and pretty soon
I'll be going out with one.

Don't worry, Sarah,
your first date'll
be wonderful.

He'll take you to see
a good movie.

You'll sit in the back
of the theater.

Maybe he'll put
his arms around me.

Nah, he won't be able to.
- Why not?

I'll be sitting between you.

Sounds like fun.

Thanks, Charles.

That's what I'm here for.

♪ ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our days
and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge
of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles in charge
of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪♪

[fanfare]