03x16 - Getting In

[bunniefuu]

♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ he's there just to take
good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one
of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I sing, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪

[doorbell ringing]

I got it.

Hi, Adam.

Charles, your duck is here.

Buddy, I'm ready.
- Oh, hey Charles,

I've got your hat. You'd
better put it on.

If Travis sees you without it
you'll lose 30 points.

Secret handshake.
- Right.

[both]:
Woop-woop-woop-woop.

[duck hats squeak]

Who's Travis?

Uh, Travis is rush chairman
for Delta Alpha Nu.

It's the fraternity we're
trying to get into.

It's the best fraternity
on Campus.

They don't let just anybody
in. You gotta be special.

Yeah, I guess a lot of guys
wouldn't want to wear

a duck hat.

I'm gonna get something to eat.
- Alright.

Adam, you little dork.
You tell your friend,

Larry Shyer if he ever comes
near my locker again,

I'm gonna rip his eyebrows off.
- Oh yeah? You and what army?

Whoa, whoa! Come on, relax,
you know, what's going on?

What's the problem?

Larry Shyer took a can
of whipped cream

and sprayed it through the
vents in my school locker.

Jamie, you can't beat Adam up
for something Larry did.

Ha, sure I can. Watch!
- Hey, hey, come on!

I'm the adult in charge
right now

so I'll take it from here,
okay?

Ha ha ha ha ha!
I'm sorry, Charles.

It's just kinda hard to take
you seriously.

This hat happens to be
a fraternity requirement.

It's very adult.

Who'd this Larry Shyer guy?
- He's the most primitive

little sleazoid in the entire
eighth grade.

Adam follows him around
like a trained duck.

No offense, Charles.

Adam, what are you doing
hanging out with an eighth
grader?

Larry Shyer's my best friend.

I thought Kevin Holloway was
your best friend?

Not anymore.

Alright, you girls run on
upstairs, okay?

Hey! Come on!

Now, Adam, I can't pick your
friends for you

but, uh, Kevin Holloway's
a good kid isn't he?

And at least
he's your own age.

Kevin Holloway's afraid
to do anything fun.

[doorbell ringing]
Alright, we'll talk about this
later, Adam, okay?

Buddy, come on!

Charles, that's probably
Travis.

I know.
Oh, Mom!

Aunt Lillian!
- Hi, Buddy.

Hi.

Charles, this is my fault,
isn't it?

I didn't give you enough love.

No, we have to wear the hat.
It's Hell Week.

Watch your language,
sweetheart.

Mom, Buddy and I are leaving
in a few minutes.

You should have called.

Oh, I know you're leaving,
Charles. Ellen told me.

That's why I'm here, to stay
with the children.

I thought Mr. Powell was gonna
stay with the kids.

No, no, no, no.
He has an emergency meeting

of the Pope John Paul Society.

That's John Paul Jones
Society, Mom.

I was wondering.

It's a club of ex-navy men,
you see, they hang out...

Ah, Lillian, you're here!
- Hello Walter.

Oh, good! It's duck season.
Where's my shotgun?

Uh, we're trying to join a
fraternity.

Well, you'd be better off
if you joined the Navy.

They'd teach you there's more
to life than wearing

funny hats and hanging around
with the boys.

See you later.

Ow!

I didn't know you boys
had joined a fraternity.

Oh, we're not in yet.

It's not just any fraternity.
It's Delta Alpha Nu.

[Charles]: Yeah.

See, Delta Alphs are brothers
for life.

See, after they graduate they
help each other in business

and politics and investments.

It's a very serious
organization.

I'm going to have to work very
hard to get in.

Whereas I'm as good as in
right now.

See, I'm what's known
as a legacy.

My grandfather, my uncle and
my dad were all Delta Alphs.

Just think,
in a couple of days,

my father will be my brother.
That makes me my brother's

son, which makes me
my own nephew.

[doorbell ringing]
That's probably Travis.

Charles, the hat! The hat!

Travis is our rush chairman.

Yeah, Ma.
He is Delta Alpha Nu.

Hey, Travis, come on in.
I'd like you to meet my mom.

Oh, hello. I am so pleased
to meet you.

You must be very proud
of your son.

Well, he's not so bad,
for a duck.

Hey, Trav! We're runnin'
a little late, aren't we?

You quack when you are
spoken to, pledgling.

Both of you, go get in the
trunk of my car.

Oh, wait, wait.
Not so fast.

I want the two of you
to push these peanuts

to my car with your nose.

Move it! Oh, bye-bye.
It was a pleasure meeting you.

Don't tear your pants,
sweetheart.

Is this great or what, huh?

Buddy, check it out.

This is Professor Elkin's
toupee.

It's number five on the
scavenger hunt list.

This thing's worth 60 points.
- How did you get it?

Well, he walked into class
wearing a new toupee, right?

So I looked in the trash can
and I found the old one.

Hi.

I guess you have to wear
those hats too, huh?

Don't bother us right now,
Adam.

We're adding up points for our
scavenger hunt.

We need 300 to get in and I'm
still a little short.

Hey, Charles, it says here
that a policeman's cap

is worth a hundred points.

You know, if you had one of
those you'd be over the top.

Buddy, I'd also be behind
bars. You can't just go out

and buy a policeman's cap.
You gotta take one away

from a guy who carries a g*n
and a club,

and is trained in the art
of pummeling.

Hey, do you have to wear that
to get into the fraternity?

This is, uh, a souvenir

from the Gamma Gamma Gamma
sorority. It's worth 40 points.

And I suppose you're going to
try and tell me

you got that
out of a trash can too?

That's right, Buddy, I got it
out of the trash can. Now...

How many points do you have?
I got 260.

Adam...

Well, let's see...
with my glow-in-the-dark

statue of Slim Whitman,

I show a total of 70 points.

You've got one more day

to get 230, Buddy.
- Charles, don't sweat it.

I'm a legacy. You're the one
that needs the help.

Hey, Adam. Your creepy friend,
Larry Shyer got in trouble

again today. He sprayed a
bunch of four-letter words

all over the girl's bathroom.
- Get outta my face, woman.

You're just jealous.

Why would I be jealous?
Half the words

were misspelled.

Poor Larry. If a word is only
four letters, you'd think

he'd at least get three of
them right.

Nice hat, Charles.

Get out of my face, woman.

Buddy.

Buddy, did you study for
tonight's test?

Sure. Ask me anything.
- Alright.

The subject is fraternity
history. Um...

One Delta Alph brother
went down with the Titanic.

What was his name?

Alright, what was his
stateroom number?

Alright, I'll give you a hint.

What was his stateroom number?

Uh... Um...

Right!

[doorbell ringing]

That's mine, I got it.

Oh, Buddy.
- Charles!

You do any good?
- Are you kidding?

A hundred more points.
I got a picture of me

standing next to the Dean
of Women with my pants down!

How did you do that?
- Oh, just like this...

Never mind!

I'm worried about you,
really, man. Come on,

you still need 130 more
points. You're not taking this

very seriously.

Charles, getting into
the Delta Alpha Nu

means a lot to me. It also
means a lot to my father,

but let's face facts.
There's no way they're gonna

keep me out. I've got it made.

Hey, Charles! Buddy!

Boy, do I have a surprise
for you!

A policeman's cap. Charles,
that's worth a hundred points.

That'll give you more
than 300.

Adam, where did you get this?
- Larry Shyer got it for me.

What a rad guy, huh?

How did he get it?

Oh, it was neat. This cop
walks into a diner,

sets his cap on the table,
then goes to the bathroom.

That's when Larry
ripped it off.

Why don't you use
the real word, Adam.

He stole it.

Geez, Charles, you're really
a stickler for grammar.

He did it for you,

And at least he's not a
chicken like Kevin Holloway.

Buddy, Travis will be here
in a few minutes.

You wanna get set up?
- Yeah, sure.

Adam, pull up a sofa.

Let me ask you something.
You think guy, uh,

Larry's real cool, huh?
Yeah, he's real tough.

Let me tell you something.
Any wimp can steal.

I want you to return this.

To the cop?
- Yeah, to the cop.

It doesn't belong to you
or to me or to Larry,

you got it?

Are you gonna tell Mom?

If you keep hanging out
with this Larry guy,

I won't have to tell your Mom.
You'll end up

on the six o'clock news.
Now, go ahead.

[car horn honking]
Buddy, let's go!

Okay, it's probably Travis.

Here you go.

So, uh, what'd you say
to Adam?

I told him to return
the cop hat. You know,

I wish he'd hang out
with Kevin Holloway.

I mean, he may be a chicken,
but at least he's an honest one.

Yeah, ow, ow ow!
- What?

You're stepping on my feet!
- So pick your feet up.

Okay.
- Ow! Not that high!

Then you walk backwards.
- Fine!

Check mate.
I have to laugh.

Hey, Travis. Sit down.
- Oh, thanks, Charles.

Uh, Buddy Lembeck told me
I'd find you here.

He's still struggling
through his test.

Tell me, uh, why do you hang
out in this rat trap?

I like the cheese.

From now on, you'll be
hanging out at the frat house.

Yeah, if I get accepted.
I mean, we won't know

until tomorrow, right?

You're not hearing me,
Charles. I said from now on,

you'll be hanging out
at the frat house.

Yeah, but Travis, I just
finished my test

and I haven't even handed in
my stuff from the scavenger
hunt yet.

Will you forget the scavenger
hunt and the test

for a minute? We've decided
that you have what it takes.

In other words, we think
you're Delta Alpha material.

Are you kidding me?
You mean that Buddy and I

have been accepted?

Charles, we sometimes have to
make choices in life.

I mean, you do want to be
a Delta Alph, don't you?

Oh, absolutely!
And so does Buddy.

Look, I'm sure Buddy
is a great guy,

but he's not one of us.
You are.

Besides, you have all new
friends now.

Wait, wait, Travis.
Are you trying to tell me

that, uh...

I have to choose between Buddy
and the fraternity?

I didn't want to have
to put it that way.

Let's just say that we don't
fraternize with non-members.

Congratulations, Charles.
Welcome to Delta Alpha Nu.

Hey, guys.

I just finished my test.
I think I did pretty well.

Oh, good for you, Lembeck.

How's the old scavenger hunt
coming along?

Well, I'm a little short
on points but you guys

can bend the rules for
a legacy, right?

Well, I wouldn't count on it.

See you later.

Hey, Charles. What do you
think he meant by

he wouldn't count on it.

He meant you should have taken
this more seriously, Buddy.

Come on, Charles. You act like
they've already decided.

They have.

Look, I don't know how to
tell you this but, uh...

I'm in the fraternity and
you're not.

Oh.

So, what are you gonna do?

I don't know.
What would you do

if the situation were
reversed?

Hey, are you kidding?
I'd join the fraternity.

This is too big an opportunity
to pass up.

I'm glad to hear you say that,
Buddy, because being

a Delta Alpha means a lot to
me, you know?

And, of course, we can still
be friends. We can still

come down to Sid's and hang
out and laugh and fool around

like we used to, right?

Oh, come on, Charles.
Who are you kidding? I mean,

you're gonna be too busy
with your Delta Alph brothers

to hang out with a nobody
like me. You'll have

meetings and parties,
secret hand shakes.

and, hey, forget about coming
down to Sid's to hang out.

All the action's gonna be
at the good old frat.

Buddy...
- Come on, Charles.

What kind of a friend did you
turn out to be?

You just told me that if the
situation were reversed

that you'd join the
fraternity, Buddy.

That's because that's the kind
of guy I am.

I didn't know you'd be the
kind of guy who'd believe me.

Buddy, wait a minute.
- I'm not your buddy anymore,

so take your Delta,
and stick it in your Alpha!

I don't believe this.

Mornin', Mr. Powell.
- Ah, Charles.

Oh, Charles, I'm going out
tonight

and Ellen has to work late.
- Yeah, I know that.

My mom's comin' by later
to watch the kids.

Ah, so you'll be out
gallivanting again, huh?

No, sir.
Tonight is the swearing in

ceremony at the fraternity.

Oh, you made it, huh?
That means you'll be

moving out. You want me to
help you pack?

No, I'll be living here.
- Oh.

You're in a fraternity, huh?

I imagine you and Lembeck
are delighted?

Well, uh, the problem is
I'm in the fraternity

and Buddy's not.

Oh.

So, uh, you gonna join
without him?

I think I have to.

Charles, let me tell you
something.

Perhaps you and Buddy
are destined to go down

separate roads for a while,
only to be reunited at some

later date when you are both
ready for a greater friendship

than you ever thought
possible.

Hey, you're right, Mr. Powell.
Maybe that's what this

is all about...
- On the other hand...

Shipmates should stick
together.

Any man who deserts a friend
in time of need

should be taken out
and shot.

Thank you, Sir. I respect
your opinion. Both of 'em.

Charles, sweetheart?
It's your mother.

Yeah, Mom.
I'd know you anywhere.

Walter said that Buddy
didn't get into the
fraternity

so I thought maybe you could
use a little help?

Thanks, Mom, but you can't
help me with this one.

Buddy's being totally
unreasonable.

I know.

You know, if he'd got into the
fraternity and I hadn't,

I'd have been happy for him.

I know, Charles,
stop playing ball.

Ma, Buddy just doesn't
understand, I mean,

being a Delta Alph could
affect my entire life.

I didn't come from
a rich family, you know.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.
That's my fault.

I should have married
Nelson Rockefeller

when he asked me.

No, Ma, it's nobody's fault.
It's just the way things are.

You know, when you don't come
from a wealthy family

you need all the help
you can get, and that's what

the Delta Alphs do.
They help each other.

That's wonderful, Charles.
I'm proud of you.

You're saying
I should join, huh?

Nope.

You're saying I shouldn't join?
- No. No,

I'm not saying anything.

You said I couldn't help.
You're right.

I'd be the last person
to tell you what to do.

Good.
Thanks a lot, Ma.

What am I gonna do?

I'll tell you what
you're gonna do.

You're gonna do
the right thing,

and wanna know why?
- Why?

'Cause it isn't in you
to do the wrong thing,

and if you don't believe me,
you ask your mother.

She knows everything.

[doorbell ringing]

I got it.

Boy says he lives here.
Is that right?

Yeah, uh, Adam, you okay?
- Not really.

Come on in, Officer.
What happened?

Are you his brother?
- No, I'm his keeper.

I mean, uh, I'm in charge.

Actually, you're in charge,
I'm sort of like his guardian.

Wh-what seems to be
the problem?

The boy had a little accident.
He went joyriding

on somebody else's moped
and ran into a tree.

Charles, I borrowed it.
Honest!

Well, if he borrowed it,
he didn't borrow it

from the owner, and there's
another kid involved.

A boy named Larry Shyer.

Yeah. Adam, did Larry steal
the moped?

No. Larry didn't do anything.
He was just there.

I borrowed it
from another guy.

Some kid I don't even know.

Look, I have a witness that
says Adam, here,

took the moped.

I thought his parents
should know.

Well, gotta get goin'.

Officer, can I talk to you
outside for a minute?

Sure.
- Thanks.

I've had a rough week
with kids.

Yesterday, one of them
stole my hat.

Adam. You're a mess.
What have you been doing?

Hi, Aunt Lillian.
I fell down.

Fell down? What?
A mine shaft?

No. There was a tree involved.
- Oh.

Boys can be difficult.

Years ago, I could always tell
when it was Autumn.

Apples, acorns and Charles
began falling out of trees.

Go get cleaned up for dinner.

Adam, I'm gonna ask you
one more time.

Did Larry steal the moped?
- No!

It's too bad.
Means you stole it.

What?
- That's what Larry said.

Larry told that cop
that you stole the moped.

But that's not true.

Well, would your friend lie?
- No!

He said I stole it?
- Mm hm.

Well, why would he say that?
I mean...

he knows I didn't take it.

That dirty rat.

Charles,
he said he borrowed it.

I didn't know he stole it.

So, he laid the blame on you,
huh? Neat friend.

Have any witnesses, Adam?

Kevin Holloway.

He was hanging around when
Larry drove up on the moped.

Well, you'd better hope
Kevin's a better friend to you

than you've been to him,
'cuz he's the one guy

that can save your skin
right now, you understand?

Good old Kevin.
I'm gonna call him right now.

Adam, come here for a second.
Let me tell you something.

Sit down. Now, look,

I know new friends seem
exciting and fun

but that's only
because they're new.

See, the old friends
are the friends that you wanna
stick with,

because they've passed
the test of time.

Are you gonna tell Mom?

What? That you're a dope?
She knows that.

Thanks, Charles.
- Alright. Get goin'.

That's check mate.
I have to laugh.

Oh! Buddy, good, look,
I want to talk to you...

Charles, listen,
don't say a word.

I just wanted to apologize for
the way I acted last night.

Forget about it...
- And to tell you that

I am happy for you.
- Oh.

And, I know that you probably
are in the fraternity,

but just in case Travis was
wrong, and you're short

on points for
the scavenger hunt,

I wanted you to have my stuff.
Look, here's my authentic

Davy Crockett coonskin cap.

Oh, Fred Ecklemeyer's comedy
nose and glasses,

and, oh, here's some hair
rumored to be made

out of General Custer's scalp.
That can go right there,

oh, and last, but not least,
my 1756 musket.

This stuff and all the rest
should put you way over the top.

Thanks, Buddy, you know, you...
You didn't have to do this.

Don't argue with me, Charles.
My mind is made up.

So's mine.
Ha!

What are you doin'?

What's goin' on?

I'm throwing that stuff away,
Buddy.

I don't wanna belong to a
fraternity that picks my
friends for me, you know?

Are you serious?
- Do I look serious?

In that case, I have one
little request.

What?
- Well...

If it's not broken,
I would like to retrieve

my glow-in-the-dark statue
of Slim Whitman.

Eh, it's what I like about
you, Buddy.

You're not like those
fraternity guys.

You got class.

If you don't join
the fraternity,

what are you gonna do when you
get out of school?

I figure if I get in trouble
I can call on you

to bail me out, right?
That's what friends are for.

You, uh, want a soda or
somethin'?

I'll get the statue...

Nah.

Want to go to a record store?

Nah.

You wanna watch some TV?

Nah.

Wanna play some hoop?

Nah.

Wanna go to Sid's
and split a pizza?

Said that.

Wanna play chess?

I don't play chess.

Wanna learn?

Nah.

Wanna find who fits into this?

[both]: Yeah!

♪ Charles in charge ♪
♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I sing, I want, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪♪