03x18 - Dutiful Dreamer

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ he's there just to take
good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one
of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I sing, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪

Uh huh. Look, all I know is
we have been renting this

house for two years and
suddenly I get a letter saying

the house is being sold right
out from under us.

Now, I insist on talking to
the owner.

Of course I don't speak
Japanese.

I don't even like sushi.

Hi, Dad. Any luck?

No, I've been on the phone
all day.

Apparently, this house
is owned by some foreign

investor, but the bottom line
is the house is being sold

and there's nothing we can do
about it.

Oh no.

This couldn't come
at a worse time.

I have some more bad news.
I lost my job today.

You got fired?
How could you?

Believe me, it wasn't my idea.

Administration cut
the state budget.

Well, what are you gonna do?

Well, I have a friend who has
a successful realty company.

I think I'd be good
in real estate sales.

Now, if I can just convince
her of that.

Hey, look what the
neighborhood kids

stuck in our front yard.
- No, Charles.

Our yard isn't our yard
anymore.

It's now part of
the Japanese Empire.

Come on, Mr. Powell.
The gardener was kidding

when he planted that flag.

What he means is the foreign
investor who owns this house

has decided to sell it.

Can he do that?

He not only can, but he did.

And to make matters worse,

Ellen got herself laid off
today.

You lost your job?
- I'm afraid so.

Which means we're gonna have
to give up

some of the unnecessary
luxuries like restaurants,

vacations... and live-in
babysitters, Charles.

Now, I hate to say it but it
looks like you and Ellen

are both out of work.
Come on, Charles,

let's put that "for sale"
sign back up.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Powell.
You're home early today.

Is Charles around?
- Uh, yes, Buddy.

You're gonna see
the "for sale" sign

in the front yard
so I might as well tell you.

Our house is being sold
and I lost my job today.

Oh, that's terrible, Mrs.
Powell. What are you gonna do?

Well, I may be able to sell
real estate, but first

I'm gonna have to go out there
and sell myself.

I just wish there was
something I could do, Mr.
Powell.

What can I do?
- Join the Navy.

And take him with you.
He'd make a good anchor.

Charles! Mrs. Powell is gonna
start selling herself.

That is ridiculous.

[sneezes]!
- Oh yeah?

Then why are you sneezing?
I've known you for years,

Charles, and you only sneeze
when you're really upset.

Buddy, I'm just concerned
about the family, that's all.

Well, then look
on the bright side.

Maybe... maybe it's a blessing
that the house is being sold,

and that the family
will have to move,

and that Mrs. Powell
lost her job,

and that she's going
to become a hooker.

You know, Buddy, it's gonna be
real embarrassing when they

take an X-ray of your head
and find nothing in there

but an ingrown toenail.

Mom, I don't have to buy
a new dress right now.

Sarah, you have been looking
forward to this dance

for three months. Now, I want
you to go out there tomorrow

and buy that dress.

Well, okay. If you're sure.

Mom, if Sarah's gonna go
to the dance tomorrow

I think I'll stay over at
Jennifer's, okay?

Oh, no, Jamie. I am going
to need your help.

Prospective buys should see
a clean house.

That's not fair. Sarah gets to
go to a dance tomorrow

while I have to stay home
and clean the house.

Adam, help your sister set
the table.

[all]: Adam!!

Adam, will you stop listening
to that punk rock music?

It's not punk rock music...
- All rock music is punk.

Now, go help your sister.

Why's he so grouchy?
- Your mom lost her job

and the house is being sold
out from underneath you.

Buddy!

Well, I can't stay unemployed
forever.

It's time for me to hit the
streets.

[sneezes]!

[sneezes]!
- Charles?

Mom, I thought you were in
Scranton!

I was, but now I'm back.

Honey,
it's only eight o'clock.

What are you doing in bed?

What's wrong, baby?

[sneezes]

Mom, they're selling the
Powell's house

and Mrs. Powell lost her job,
and there's nothing I can do.

I know, it's terrible.

Listen, we'll think of
something. I promise

we'll talk about it the minute
I get back from Brooklyn.

Brooklyn? Ma, you just got
back from Scranton!

Well, sweetheart, you're the
one that told me

I ought to have a life
of my own.

I know, Mom, but Scranton one
day and Brooklyn the next,

I didn't know you were going
to join the jet set.

Come on, now.
You get some rest, okay?

Come on. You just close
those little baby sleepy eyes
for Mommy.

Yes.

♪ Doodlebug, baby,
just close your eyes ♪

♪ Mama is here
She's gorgeous and wise ♪

♪ You have been rocked
and you have been fed ♪

♪ so please go to sleep
and don't wet the bed ♪

[humming ♪ ]

Jamie, why are you cleaning
in the middle of the night?

So my wicked step-sister
could go to the ball.

Oh, I knew you'd come
and save me.

Where's your wand?
- My what?

Your magic wand. You are my
Fairy Godfather aren't you?

Psst.
Pssst.

Mr. Powell.

I am Jim Hawkins.
Where's the map?

What map?
- Don't play dumb with me.

I'll run you through faster
than a greased wombat

can slide down
a wet mizzen mast.

It's true!
I've seen it happen.

You've seen your granddad
run somebody through?

No! I saw a greased wombat
slide down a wet mizzen mast.

It was really fast.

Hiya, boys.

Excuse me for wearing my work
clothes around the house

like this, but... Ooh! I'm
expecting company later.

Mrs. Powell!

Aye, Jim Hawkins.
Keep an eye on her.

I'd keep me eye on her
but I've only one eye left.

Step-Mommie dearest,
may I please have

a three minute break?
- Not this week, shorty.

The guy who owns this flea
trap is on his way over here.

Oh! The owner of the house
is comin' by? That's great!

I get to talk him out
of selling it.

You? Hmm.
I kinda doubt it.

[in Southern accent]
Mammy, Mammy, tell me I'm
gonna be the prettiest girl

at the Cotillion Ball!

Sure, kid. You look swell.

Oh, Sarah, you look beautiful!

I didn't ask you!

Oh, excuse me.
I need some lemonade.

[electric guitar chord]

[in c*ck accent]:
The world is a scum sucking
pest hole!

So, how was school today?

[electric guitar chord]

School is a giant sewer,
where the establishment rats

spit rivers of lies
into the filth-ridden alleys

of me mind!

Oh, sure, and I'll probably
have to clean it up.

[in British accent]:
So, the peasants are still in
my house.

Didn't I tell you all
to be out by sundown?

Now, you will have
to be punished.

Pity.
- Buddy!

Please, call me
by my full name.

Count Buddence de Lembeque,
supercilious fop by day,

master swordsman by night!

Ha haaa! And infamous
landowner by birth!

Buddy owns this house?

Of course, my dear boy. I own
most of the Tri-State Area.

Give us a break, Count.

I haven't been able to work
lately. I haven't been feelin'

well so my doctor told me
to stay on my feet

for a couple of weeks.

Darlings!

I just flew in from
the Cannes Film Festival!

Hello. Have we met?

Mom, mom, it's me.
- Momma?

There's only two people in the
world who call me Momma.

One is my son, Charles.

Yeah, Mom,
I'm your son, Charles!

Who else calls you Momma?
- Eddie Murphy.

Whoa, well look, Mom, I...
I just found out that Buddy

owns this house.
- I know!

Why couldn't you have been
that successful?

Oh well, I've got a plane to
catch.

But wait, Mom, Mom, you can't
leave. I need you!

You don't need her.
You're a Fairy Godfather!

Maybe he is, but I still like
him. He's my son.

Bye-bye, Charles.
We'll do lunch sometime.

Farewell.

Alright, everyone leave
or suffer the consequences.

Don't threaten me,
you British swine!

You Yankee pig!
- You Irish setter!

You Australian crawl!
- You Spanish omelet!

You Canadian bacon!
- You French toast!

You African queen!

Hold it, hold it! You...
Buddy!

You can't throw the Powells
out of their house!

Yes, he can, Fairy Godfather.
You've got to help us.

Get back to work, Jamie-ella!

Charles can't help anybody.

Quite true, Mrs. Trollop.

It's settled. Tonight is the
night that you all move out.

Nah, nah it isn't.

No? Well in that case,
tonight is the night

that you die.
[Charles giggles]

You can't k*ll me, Buddy.

I just figured
this whole thing out.

This is like
a really weird dream.

I'm still sleepin'.
- Oh, really?

Haven't you heard of anyone
dying in his sleep? Hm?

[Buddy laughs]

Buddy, take the sword
out of my neck

or I'll stick
it in your scabbard.

I like your style,
Charlemagne.

I believe we can do business.

I do declare! I get prettier
by the minute!

Fairy Godfather, I have about
had it with you.

I wished upon a star,
I rubbed a magic stone

and I went on
Wheel of Fortune.

Now, I'm supposed to get
horses, a coach and a prince.

You're looking for a major
lawsuit, here.

Oh, what is wrong with you
people? Come on!

Hey, Buddy's gonna
sell this house.

Does anybody care about that?
- Oh, fiddle-de-dee, Charles.

I'll worry about that
tomorrow.

[electric guitar chords]

Home is a stinkin' gutter,
where the cigarette butts

of humanity flow into
the toxic waste dump of life.

Oh, I know whatcha mean!

Get back to work,
Jamie-ella.

You're startin' to collect
dust.

"Back to work, Jamie-ella"?

I'm the only potential
princess around

and I get stuck with
a Fairy Godfather,

wouldn't know his wand if he
stepped on it.

Charlemagne, I suggest we meet
in the kitchen,

I have an idea that could be
most profitable,

for both of us.

Darlings! I've just come back
from London!

Have we met?

Yeah, Ma, it's me, Charles!
Now, look. Look...

Buddy's in the kitchen.
You have to go talk to him.

Oh, darling, I'd love to,
but I'm off to Pamplona

for the running of the bulls!

A woman's work is never done!

Tell me about it!

Whoop!

Fairy Godfather, it's time
to put up or shut up.

If you don't jump in,
Count de Lembeque is going to

toss us all into the street!
- I know that, but...

but he owns this house.
What can I do?

Well, don't ask me.
You're the Fairy Godfather.

Do what any Godfather
would do.

Okay. I'll make him an offer
he can't refuse.

Oh, Don Charleso.
So good of you to come.

I need a favor.

We've known each other
for many years, Buddenzo.

But this is the first time
you've ever come to me

for counsel or help.

I want these peasants
out of my house.

and you're the man
who can do that.

How much shall I pay you?

Buddenzo, Buddenzo...

What have I ever done
to make you treat me

so disrespectfully?

You don't ask from respect.

You don't offer friendship.

You didn't even think
to call me Godfather.

No, but I'm willing to cut you
in for a piece of the profit,

once I sell this house.

Name your price.

Morte de veni!

How much is that
in American money?

That means, Buddenzo,

tonight you will sleep
with the fishes.

If you're referring to Elaine
and Rhoda Fish,

I'm not interested.

You're making a serious
mistake, Buddenzo.

Oh, really?

Then, perhaps this
will rectify it.

I, Count Buddence de Lembeque,
challenge you to a duel.

So be it.

So, how'd it go?

I made him an offer
he couldn't refuse.

And what'd he do?

He refused.

That does it. I'm starting
to get dishpan knees.

Either you come through with
the gown, the horses,

the coach and the prince or
I'm calling the Fairies union.

Psst. I've found it,
Jim Hawkins. I found the map.

What map?

The map to the treasure,
you cloth-eared baboon!

It's the answer to all our
problems!

Oh, no, no, no.
Not now, Don Powello.

Listen I got a little business
to take care of. I don't want

the family involved, okay?

I want you to keep this
to yourself.

Buddenzo and I
are gonna fight a duel.

I do declare!
Y'all are fightin' a duel

over little ol' me?
How romantic!

Ooh! That reminds me.

It's about time for me
to hit the streets.

Hello, darlings! I've just
come back from Pamplona.

Don Charleso, prepare to meet
your maker.

Everybody stand back.

En Garde!

Fairy Godfather,
you have a g*n.

All you have to do is pull
the trigger. What a stoop.

Here, Jim Hawkins.
Cut his gizzard out.

[all]: Oooooh!

[all]: Oooooooh!

Arrivederci, Buddenzo!

So, Don Charleso, it appears
that you have won,

but you forget, it's not
whether you win or lose,

it's how you play the game,
and personally, I cheat.

[groans] I've been shot!

[indistinct]

Sorry, old chap. You came so
close to winning.

He's right, Jim Hawkins.

All you had to do was read
the map.

"X" marks the spot.

Look at the word
next to the "X".

Read it, lad.

"Pembroke"

Pembroke.

Buddy, what are you doing here
in the middle of the night?

What are you talking about?
It's only nine o'clock.

What? I've only been asleep
for an hour?

Yeah.

Hi!
[Charles]: Hi!

I got the job!
- Oh, great, Mrs. Powell!

Way to go, Mrs. Powell!
What job?

Did I hear you say
you got the job?

Yes, Dad! I am going to be
selling real estate!

Oh, wonderful!

And I have some more
good news.

I'm gonna call my dad
in California and ask him

to lend you the money
to buy this house.

Buddy, that is so sweet!
- Yes, that's very sweet.

Thank you, Buddy. Listen...

Nobody has to lend anybody
any money.

I called the Pembrokes.
- Charles, I would have called

the Pembrokes this morning
but what's the use?

They don't own the house!
- I know that, Mr. Powell,

but you sublet it
from the Pembrokes,

who leased it from the owner.
I called the Pembrokes,

told 'em what was goin' on,
they agreed to buy the house,

from the owner, and lease it
to you for as long

as you want to live here.
- Charles, that's wonderful!

Ah ha ha!

H-h-h-hold it!
Will you quit kidding?

This calls for a celebration!
- Of course it does!

Charles, you are a life saver.

Come on, let's open a case
of root beer!

You really came through
this time, Charles,

but what made you think
of calling the Pembrokes?

Hey, you wouldn't even
believe me if I told you.

Come, Buddenzo,
I'll make you some espresso.

You got it, Don Charleso.

Well, Charles, I'd better
split on outta here.

It's getting late.
- Alright.

I'll see you later, Buddy.
That was a nice thing you did.

What was?

You know, offering to ask your
father to loan the Powells

enough money
to buy this house.

I mean, even though the money
wasn't yours,

it was still
nice of you to offer.

Oh, well why wouldn't I?
I mean, I know how you think

of this house as your own
and so do I.

You know, in a lot of ways,

Mr. Powell's a lot like
my father.

He's strict and he's gruff
but, down deep,

he's got a heart of gold.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Well, he kinda reminds me of
my dad, too.

My dad was quite a guy.
So's Mr. Powell.

Yeah, he's a real sweetheart.

Charles, go to bed.
Lembeck, get out.

Okay, Pop.
- Good night, Daddy.

Yech!

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I see, I want, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪♪