03x19 - Berkling Up Is Hard To Do

[bunniefuu]

♪ The new boy in the
neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just to take good
care of me ♪

♪ like he's one of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I see I want Charles in
charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I see I want I want ♪

♪ Charles in charge of me ♪♪

[knocking on door]
Yeah?

Charles, Charles,
you won't believe this,

you won't believe this!
Guess who's in town,

guess who's in town!

Who? Who? Duran Duran?

No! No, who's the sexiest,
most attractive girl

ever to attend
Copeland College?

I'll give you a hint, her
initials are Daphne Prentiss.

Whoo!

She just got back
from her semester in France.

Yeah, yeah, sure she did,

she came back here
to taunt me, Buddy.

Well, it's not gonna work,
you know why?

Because I have
a disciplined mind!

When I know I can't have
something, I stop wanting it.

Why don't you go out
with Daphne?

I can't, Charles, I'm in love
with Monique Michaels.

Last week you told me Monique
rubbed you the wrong way!

I know, she did,
that's why I love her.

Buddy, I, I just broke up with
Stephanie,

I'm not in the mood for another
failed relationship, okay.

Charles, who's that letter
addressed to?

- Resident.
- Well, what do you think my
name is, visitor?

Charles, if you go out
with Daphne,

you're sure to get over
Stephanie.

How can you say
you're not interested?

Buddy, I can't afford Daphne!

Hey, you see all these unpaid
bills, huh?

Daphne, she lives in the jet
set, I'm in the debt set!

But, that's ideal, I mean,
opposites attract!

It's like in those
old romantic movies.

She's uptown, you're lowdown.

She's caviar,
you're fish-heads.

She's the Swiss Alps,
you're Bandini Mountain.

You're disgusting,
and I'm leaving.

Charles,
dear, wonderful, Charles!

What do you want
little miss fingernails?

Well, mom said I could get
a new skirt

for my school pictures.

Will you drive me
to the mall, please!

Oh, no, I, I can't
right now, Jamie.

I could do it tomorrow.

- Tomorrow will be great!
- Okay.

Thank you!

Hey, Charles,
if you're so broke,

how can you afford this
International Express card?

What? Let me see that!

Oh, Buddy... whoa, oh,
check it out!

My first credit card!

International Express, uh,
accepted my application!

Charles, that makes you
a major player!

Have you seen their commercial?

International Express, "if you
can dream it, it's yours!"

Here's your chance,
dream Daphne!

Oh, wait, it says here
I have a $500 limit, Buddy.

That's not even a down payment
on a Daphne dream.

Charles, Charles!
Where's mom, where's grandpa?!

The-they're both gone
for the day, why?

Oh, no, I just called
about my skirt,

and they only have one left!

They won't hold it
'til tomorrow,

and I don't have
any money today!

Well, I, huh-huh-huh,
I'm sorry, Jamie, I'm broke.

Charles, remember, if you can
dream it, it's yours!

All right, Jamie,
if I loan you my credit card,

will you promise
to pay me back?

- Sure.
- Okay.

- I'll write the number down...

... on this piece of paper.

Now what I want you to do
is call the store

and tell them to...

I know how to do it, Charles,

credit cards are my life...
Thanks!

Charles, it's your lucky day,

this says you've just won
a million dollars!

I may have already won
a million dollars.

I don't believe it, that makes
two million dollars!

Charles, now, I know you ca...
you can afford Daphne!

You know, Buddy, someday I'm
gonna form a club...

and hit you with it!

You know, Charles,
you should't even be here.

If I had an
International Express Card,

I'd be out on the town
with a woman,

charging my way to paradise.

Buddy, I told you,
I can't go anywhere right now.

I promised my mom I'd watch the
diner for a couple hours.

Charles, don't look,
it's Daphne!

- Hello, Charles!
- Hi.

Daphne, it's nice
to have you... back.

Thanks!

Well... bye, Charles.

If you just made your big move,
some of us missed it.

Now, let me show you
how it's done.

Bud... no, hey, hey, Buddy!

Charles, I have a few last
minute instructions for you.

Okay.

So, how was Paris?

Well... I did get
a little lonely at times.

I mean, French men
are all right,

but give me
an American man any time.

Okay, how 'bout Charles?

Charles, he's darling, but,
see my father gets so uptight

when I date someone who's not
from a... well, you know,

a good family.

Oh... well, did you know that
Char...

did you know that Charles'
family owns this restaurant?

No, I didn't.
Just the one?

Oh, très contraire. They have
these little moola makers

- all over the mundo!
- Really?!

Of course,
you silly little goose!

And someday, it will
all belong to Charles.

As a matter of fact, he may
be taking over the business

- any minute now.
- Oh!

Okay, so I'll take the poodle
skirt, the alligator belt,

the flamingo earrings
and the zebra pin.

Oh, yeah, right,
the lipstick, too!

You can deliver it all
to my house, thanks, bye-bye.

- Where's grandpa?
- Oh, he's gone for the day.

- So's mom, why?
- I need to buy some records!

Oh, well you wanna borrow
some of mine?

Not unless you have the

Ritual Chants of the
Ouagadougou!

It's for my
social studies project.

I really need
to get them today,

but I don't have the money!

Where'd you get the money to
order all those clothes?

Oh, Charles let me borrow
his new credit card.

You get to buy clothes,

while my entire academic
future falls apart?

That's not fair!

Okay, I know Charles
would want to help you,

so here's his
credit card number.

But, you've got to promise
to pay him back!

Well, of course
I'll pay him back!

Oh, this is great,
Charles is a real lifesaver!

- Well, what am I?
- You're short.

Charles, you remember Daphne?

Uh, yes, we-we spoke earlier,
about five minutes earlier.

Charles, I'm on my way out.

Now, the Fryolator is running
a little hot, so...

- Hi!
- Oh, uh, mom, this, this is
Daphne Prentiss.

- Daphne, this is my mother.
- It is so nice to meet you!

- Uh-huh.

Buddy tells me that Charles
is taking over your business.

I think that's wonderful!

Really, you don't think I'm
putting too much pressure on
him?

- Oh, no, not at all!
- Mom, I'm fine, really.

All right, it's up to you,
nice meeting you, Daphne.

- I have to go to the bank.
- Okay.

Bye.

What a great mother,
always going to the bank!

Well, I'll leave
you two kids alone.

Um... look, Daphne, it's, it's a
little crazy in here right now.

Could, could we talk, uh,
talk someplace later?

Sure, how 'bout tonight,
over dinner?

Uh... dinner?

So, how are you two kids
getting along?

Great, we were
just making a date!

Uh, Charles, how do you feel
about the Star of India?

The diamond or the restaurant?

Actually, it doesn't make
a difference,

they both cost about the same!

As if he cared about money.

His motto is, if you can
dream it, it's yours!

Well, Charles,
it is a fabulous restaurant!

- Shall we say, eight o'clock?
- Uh, eight o'clock, I...

- Great, I'll meet you there!
- All right.

- Charles, you did it!
- Are you nuts!?

The Star of India
is the most expensive
restaurant in town, Buddy.

What did you tell her about me?

Relax, Charles,
I didn't tell her anything

you wouldn't have wanted
me not to tell her yourself.

[T.V. announcer]

Next up on the
Armchair Shopping Station

this beautiful, porcelain
Dalmatian dog.

Hey, who's on the phone, woman?

Shhh!

Express deliver, well,
how much extra will that cost?

Oh, well,
it really is an emergency,

so go ahead with the express.

You're welcome.
Thank you very much!

Are you ordering that fake dog?

No, Adam, I ordered
some records.

Oh... where'd you get the money?

Charles left his new credit
card number with Jamie.

He said we could use it,
as long as we pay him back.

He did!?

[T.V. announcer]

Now, here's a nifty item
for you kids.

Check out this BMX bike!

All right!

[T.V. announcer]
just remember,

it's not available in stores.

What a gyp!

[T.V. announcer]
If you want this bike

call us now, we accept
all major credit cards.

Finger bowls, for your fingers.

You know, I don't know where
you got that suit,

but I love it!
Is it Giorgio's?

No, it's mine.

Oh, is the food
too hot for you?

Whoa, no, mmm, actually
it's pretty good.

Good, then you've
got to try my Chicken Phal.

Oh, okay, thank you.

You know, I, I wanted to ask
you out about a, a year ago,

but... hey, this Chicken Phal
is pretty good!

What does Phal mean?

It means jump,
it has kind of a slow burn.

Oh, really?
Oh, I didn't notice.

Actually, I'm very heavily
into hot.

I mean, you give me a good
chili dog and I... I...

Perhaps the gentleman
is liking some water?

- Oh!
- Perhaps you are also
liking a glass?

Woo, uh, no, umm,

I'll uh, I'll just take the,
uh, the check, please.

- Just the check, please.
- Uh-huh, thank you.

- $214.00!?
- Plus a very generous tip.

You know, Charles,
I have had a lovely evening.

Oh, I know it's an evening
I'll never forget.

The credit card company
won't let me.

Oh, I'm sure that's
the least of your worries.

Why doesn't that make me
feel better?

Please do excuse my face, sir,

but are you possibly having
another credit card?

Oh, uh, oh yeah, well, I, I,
got 'em all,

but, um, well, that, that one's
my favorite!

I see, perhaps you are, uh,
giving me a card

you like a little bit less?

Uh, no, no, that, that, that
card is perfectly good.

Not anymore!

Oh, come on, Buddy!

Oh, it is very nice that you
are calling me buddy.

It makes me feel very American.

Oh, uh, look, uh, my friend's
comin' over here right now

and you'll get
your money, okay?

No, that is not being
a problem.

I am here to serve.

Are you perhaps
desiring some dessert, buddy?

Uh, huh, no, no, no.

Hey, why did you cut my card
in half?

The credit card compay was
telling me to do this thing.

They said you were beyond
your limit of spending.

What, there's no way, that,
that card never even been used!

Oh, except, maybe by Jamie,
oh, oh, man, that's it!

Jamal, Jamal, I'm broke!

Now, I have to go over there
and I have to tell Daphne

the whole truth
about everything!

- You think I should?
- Go for it.

Um, Daphne, there's, uh,
something I have to tell you.

What is it Charles?

Look, uh, I'm gonna be very
honest with you, okay.

Um, I, I, I, I, I, decided, I
decided to order some dessert!

- You did?
- Yes.

- I must have missed it.
- Uh, huh.

- What was it we decided upon?
- Surprise me.

Oh, goody!

- Hey, dude!
- Oh, good, Buddy!

Daphne, excuse me for a moment.

Buddy, did, did my mother give
you the money?

No, she didn't have it, but,
don't worry help is on the way.

Gentlemen, I am
presenting dessert!

- Hey, great!
- Buddy, Buddy!

Nobody's using this are they?

Buddy, hey, wait a minute!

Oh, Charles, I can't possibly
eat this, this is so rich!

- Hey, who isn't?
- Buddy...

Charles, I'm not a happy man!
I was sleeping

and Lembeck called
and said you needed money?

Oh, uh, Daphne, I, I, I
would like you to meet

my, uh, my-my business manager!
Th-th-th-this is Walter Powell.

- Pleased to meet you.
- Look.

I am happy to be
taking your money.

Look, uh, Wally,
I, I'm very, uh, uh, uh, uh,

I feel bad that I,
that I woke you up this late.

I, I, I, I apologize.

Why don't we, why don't we do
lunch sometime, okay babe?

I'll make you pay, and believe
me, Charles, you will pay!

- You will pay?
- He will pay.

- You will pay?
- He will pay.

- Somebody must pay.
- I will pay!

Daphne, shall we be off?

Hey, how can you guys leave
all this great food?

Oh, be our guest, Buddy,
try the Chicken Phal,

you'll love it!

Thanks, Charles,
an-and remember,

If you can dream it,
its yo...yo...whoa!

Look, you just sent me
the card,

theres no way I could have
bought all that stuff!

Hey, uh, look, why don't you
do me a favor, okay?

Picture me listening
to ritual chants

on the back of a BMX bike,

wearing a poodle skirt,
earrings, and lipstick!

No, no, sir,
I'm not trying to turn you on.

Yep, look, just send me the
statement, okay, thank you.

- Charles, guess what?!
- What?

Daphne said she wanted
to see you again,

so I told her to be here
by 7:30 tonight.

What, no, oh, wow, Buddy,
you can't, th-there's no way!

There's no way, I, I, I, can't
afford a date with Daphne!

Jamie ran my card up
over the limit!

I can't believe this, you know.

I, I loaned her my credit card,
I trusted her...

... ing, she stabbed me
right in the back!

Look, you're just gonna
have to tell Daphne

that she can't come over here.

Me, hey, what goes on
between you and Daphne

is your business, I wouldn't
think of interfering!

You invited her here!

That's what I mean, don't you
think I've done enough damage?

See you later, Charles,
Monique is waiting.

Jamie, Jamie get down here!

- Sarah, you're not Jamie.
- Thank you.

- Charles?
- Ah, uh, ha!

Trying to sneak out, huh?

Look, Jamie, I told you that,
that, you could buy

one poodle skirt!

I didn't say anything about
a six record set

of Ouigadigi tribal chants!

Ouigadigi?
Charles, it's Ouagadougou!

How do you know?

Uh, I'm the one
who bought them.

- Oh, and the BMX bike, huh?
- No!

Good morning, racing fans,
is my bike here yet?

All right, all right,
everybody on the couch!

Everybody on the couch!

You know, I can't believe
I can't believe,

that you guys would behave
this irresponsibly!

Now, I have a date tonight with
Daphne, and thanks to you kids,

I-I can't even afford
to take her out to dinner!

Charles, how can we
make this up to you?

Oh, forget it, you can't,

the-there's no way
to make it up to me.

I've gotta go to school.

Okay, we need a plan.

Yeah, we have to make
this up to Charles.

- Yeah.
- Hey, I've got it!

Listen to this.

We're gonna make sure that,
tonight,

Charles had the best date he's
ever had in his entire life!

Great, how we gonna do it?

Hey, I'm the one who
came up with the plan.

The least you guys can do
is figure out the details!

Charles, you're late,
Daphne will be here any minute.

What is all this?

It's our surprise,
we are gonna serve you dinner.

You, you, you are gonna cook
dinner for Daphne, huh?

The, the woman who has eaten in
the finest French restaurants

in French France?
No, uh, there's no way!

You and your siblings are not
allowed to be down here

when Daphne gets over!

Oh, come on, Charles,
that's not fair!

We ruined your date last night!

You've got to give us
another chance!

To what?
To ruin my date tonight?

No way, Jamie,
I-I'm very capable

of, of ruining my own dates,
thanks!

Oh, sure,
kick me while I'm down!

Okay, get down.

Oh, oh, oh, okay, Jamie,
Jamie, all right,

just please don't do that,
all right, all right.

Just go upstairs, get the food,
bring it down here.

But, leave
before Daphne gets here!

Thank you, Charles,
you won't regret it!

I already regret it!

[knocking on the door]

Oh, no, that's not Daphne,
that can't be Daphne!

Please don't let it be Daphne!

Daphne, hi,
I was hoping it was you!

- Charles!
- Come on in.

- Don't tell me you cook!
- Oh, like a mink!

Uh, listen, we have a little
surprise for you tonight.

Tonight we're gonna have a, um,
a, a catered dinner!

- Oh, good, I'm starving!
- Good.

Good evening, want a roll?

- Yow!
- Yow!

- Adam, tongs!
- You're welcome!

Good evening, I'm your
wine stewardess.

May I offer you some
Chateau de Powell?

Ah, oh, August, I, I hear that
was a very good month for wine!

- I'll open it for you.
- Okay.

Good evening, I'm Buddence, I
will be your waiter tonight.

[in unison]
Buddy?!

That's correct.

Now, tonight we're offering a
choice of... rack of lamb.

Charles, is this some kind
of a joke?

A joke, hey,
we put a lot of work

into this dinner all right?

This is impossible,
open it yourself!

Monsieur Lembeque,
the salad is ready to toss.

Ah, goot!

All right, okay okay,
great, great, great,

thank you, thank you Buddy,
thank you, that will be all!

Not quite, we still have the
main course.

- Fine.
- And dessert.

Fine, fine, fine,
thank you very much!

Daphne, will you excuse me for
one moment?

Come here, are you
and your brother and sister

trying to destroy me?

No, we're not, Charles,

we wanted you
to have a nice time.

We let you down last night,

we wanted to make it up to you.

Then, why did you invite Buddy,
the waiter from hell?!

We were desperate, Charles,
I'm sorry, really.

Oh, great, now, it looks like
we have to make this up to you.

It's endless!

Charles, why would you hire
children to serve dinner?

What, are you eccentric or
are you just incredibly cheap?

Um, neither,
I'm incredibly broke.

And, I, I didn't hire
these children.

I, um, I work
for these children.

See, they were just
helping me out tonight.

But, what about your restaurant
empire Buddy said that you had?

Buddy lied.

Oh, so, then, why didn't you
tell me the truth?

Look... if I had told you
the truth,

would you have
gone out with me?

No, but when I think about
what I would have missed,

it makes me very glad
that I did go out with you.

Why?

Well, because, if those kids
think enough of you

to go to all this trouble,

then, I think you're the kind
of guy I should get to know.

Oh, oh, this is crazy, Daphne,
I can't afford you!

Although, I would like to
borrow you from time to time!

- Anytime!
- Dinner is served!

- Oh.
- Yeah, just don't panic!

Yeah, we burned the
rack of lamb.

It was Jamie's fault.

But, we have something
better than rack of lamb!

- Rack of pizza!
- We sent out for it!

You wanna serve Daphne a
pizza?!

- I love pizza!
- Hey, who doesn't!

All right serve it up!

And for dessert, we will be
having Banana Flambe.

Prepared for you at your table.

Hey, I had a lot of fun with
Daphne tonight, Buddy.

And, I, I learned a lot about
rich girls, too.

Oh, yeah, so did I,
they get mean

when you set fire
to their hair!

That was your fault.

Next time you want to flambe
your banana,

stick it in the microwave!

[phone rings]
I got it!

Hello?
Yeah, What?!

Oh, hello, Lembeck,
been petting the piranha again?

No, I had an accident
with a banana.

I don't want to hear about it!

Yes, sir, I, I understand,
thank you very much.

Uh, Mr. Powell, uh, we have a
slight, uh, financial problem.

I can't believe what
you're saying, Charles.

I just bailed you out
last night!

I, I know that, sir,
but that was the Star of India

restaurant on the phone,

and, um, your,
your check bounced.

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I see I want I want ♪

♪ Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪♪