03x20 - Runaround Charles

[bunniefuu]

♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ Lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just to take
good care of me ♪

♪ Like he's one
of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing, I want ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪

I'm sorry, Jamie!

But, you can't just
change your mind,

after your mother leaves town.

I'm not changing
my mind, Grampa.

Yes you are.

It was your idea to have your
birthday a day late this year.

And you also know we're throwing
a big birthday party for you
on Saturday night.

Now you agreed to that.

Oh, I still want the party on
Saturday,

but you see it's just since my
actual birthday's

this Friday night,
I decided it would be nice
to have some friends over.

No, no, no.

Your mother will still be
out of town,

and I'm having my reunion
on Friday night.

I'm not gonna have a bunch of,

sex-crazed psychotics running
around the house,

without adult supervision.

Gee, Grampa, I wouldn't call my
friends sex-crazed psychotics.

- Are any of your friends
teen-age boys?
- Of course.

I rest my case.

There'll be no party in this
house without adult supervision.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no...

Hey Jamie, everything all right?

No!

No... no way.

Charles, I have a
problem for you.

No thank you Sarah,
I already have one.

You know what?
Maybe you can help me.

Hang on a sec.

Listen, Jamie's birthday is
coming up on the first.

What should I get her?

I have and idea.

Get her a big snake.

You know, the kind that can
swallow an entire goat.

That's a terrible idea.

Any snake that could swallow an
entire goat,

could also swallow
an entire 12 year old boy.

Maybe it's not
such a terrible idea.

Okay, forget the snake.

Get her a fish.

That way, if she doesn't like
her present we can eat it.

Sarah, you gotta help me.

Birthday presents are very
difficult.

Wait, maybe I can help you
find a birthday present.

Are you busy next Friday?

Next Friday. No, why?

Next Friday is College Awareness
Night at my school.

That's lovely Sarah, but what
does this have to with Jaime.

Just wait!

I told my teacher if you spoke
to my class next Friday,

that you could really
make them see,

the importance of a
college education.

Sarah, we're talking
about Jamie.

You're going to help me find
a birthday present.

I just did!

Now you don't have to worry
about my birthday.

Just speak to my class,
next Friday.

It's the best present you could
ever give me!

Thanks, Charles.

Sarah?

Yes, Charles?

What about Jamie's present?

Charles, if you can
solve my problem,

I know you can solve yours.

[doorbell rings]

[Mr. Powell]
Doorbell.

Oh, Charles, Charles,
I've go the best news!

What would you give for
date with, Julie Fletcher.

Don't toy with me, Buddy.

You know that she transferred to
Iowa State last semester.

Remember?

I know, but I was talking
to Linda Cook,

and she said that Julie was
coming in for one night,

and one night only on the 31st.

So I went ahead
and made you a definite date.

Really?
- Yeah.

Buddy, that's great.
I can't believe it.

You know I would give anything
to see her again.

I know, that's why I went ahead
and made it a double date.

A double date?

Yeah, you with Julie
and me with Linda.

[laughs]
This is incredible!

Well I... wait a minute.
What day is the 31st?

This Friday.

This Friday.

Okay, all right, that's perfect.
Buddy, that's perfect.

You know what?
I owe you one.

No, no, Charles.
You already gave me one.

- When?

I've been trying to get next to
Linda Cook for a year.

I'll see you later.
- All right, you got it!

[laughs]

Here.

Okay, come on Jamie, I give up.

Please just, just give me
a hint all right?

What type of gift
would you like on your birthday?

I don't know Charles.

[under his breath]
I can't believe this.

Wait a minute, yes I do!

I can tell you
exactly what I want.

I want you to chaperone
my birthday party.

Jamie I, I feel badly about our
disagreement.

Grampa! Charles is an adult.

Couldn't he chaperone my party?

Well, if he wants
to take full responsibility.

Please Charles?

It's the only present I'll ever
want for you my whole life.

I promise.

That's the only present?

[chuckles]
You got a deal.

Thanks!
I've got to go call everybody.

Charles, there's gonna be a lot
of teenagers at this party.

I want you to keep an eye on
everything!

Aye-aye sir.
I- eye on everything.

Well, it is Jamie's birthday so,
make sure she's happy.

Make sure nothing goes wrong.

But above all,
make sure nobody has any fun.

[doorbell rings]

Hey Charles.
Hey, Buddy, come on in.

You know what?
You were right.

I was?

About what?

About Julie Fletcher!

I called her last night.
She is coming to town.

And I do have a date tonight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah I know,
but what was I right about?

[doorbell rings]

While you're trying to remember,
I'll get the door.

Julie!
- Julie?

Charles!

Julie you remember Charles.

Yeah well Julie uh,
my name's Buddy Lembeck.

And we're going to be
double dating tonight.

Well, enough of this small talk.

Why don't you two
go ahead and acquainted.

I - I never thought
I'd see you again.

Me, too.

Remember that party
in my dorm room last year?

Yeah.

You uh, you ever
get that couch repaired?

I didn't even try.
I had it bronzed.

Oh boy.

I know you weren't expecting to
see me until tonight,

but I had to pick up my
transcripts at the college,

so I thought I'd come by
and say hello.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Well, I've gotta go.
I'll see you tonight, okay?

Yeah, yeah, you'll definitely
see me tonight.

Bye
Goodbye Buddy!

Oh!

Am I here?

Goodbye Julie!
- Bye

Charles I think that girl is
beginning to like you.

I know but like her too.

Listen, this is going to be a
very, very big night.

Charles!

My class is really looking
forward to your talk tonight.

So am I, Sarah.

What, wait a minute!

Sarah you asked me to speak to
your class next Friday.

But I asked you that on Tuesday.

This is the next Friday
after Tuesday.

It starts at seven thirty
Charles.

You're the first speaker,
so don't be late.

Oh no, no, no, Sarah!

Hi, Charles!
- Hi.

- Aren't you going
to wish me a happy birthday?

Not right now,
my life is crumbling.

Besides your birthday is on the
first which is tomorrow.

No, my birthday's on the first.
Which is today!

No, Jamie, today is the 31st.

Wrong Buddy,
there is no 31st this month.

Sure there is,
You remember the old poem.

Thirty days hath September,
August, May and September.

Uh-huh.

Today is the first Buddy, look!

Well, how do we know that
this isn't tomorrow's paper.

Wow Buddy!

You made a date for me on a
night that doesn't exist.

Wow, what a far out concept.

Charles, has to
chaperone my party tonight.

No, Jamie, Charles has to speak
at my school tonight.

No, Charles has a date tonight.

But Charles you promised
to chaperone my party.

No, you promised
to speak at my school.

No you promised to go out with
Julie Fletcher!

Like I said.
This is going to be a big night!

Buddy, my plan is gonna work.

It has to work, it will work!

[sighs]
It will never work.

Charles, it will work.

I'll pick up the dates and take
them over to Sid's.

Then you go speak at Sarah's
class at 7:30.

Your mom will come chaperone
Jamie's party at eight.♪

And you'll be back over
at Sid's by 8:15.

You'll only be 15 minutes late.

Now, what could
possibly go wrong?

[phone rings]

What's wrong.

Mom!
Hi.

How late?

No, no, no, it's fine!

No, I'll just
have to switch to plan B.

Okay, bye.

My mom can't
make it 'til 8:30, Buddy.

Which means she can't be here
for the start of Jamie's party.

We gotta to switch to plan B.
Yeah!

What is plan B?

Plan B is we make a new plan.

All right, here's what we'll do.

I'll go speak
at Sarah's class right?

Then I'll get back here and
chaperone Jamie's party,

until my mom gets here.

Buddy, you'll have
to go to Sid's,

and entertain Julie and Linda
for an extra half-hour.

Charles, that's easy!

I've got a sure fire,
woman pleaser right here.

Card tricks!

See ya, later.

[whistling]

Now hear this!

I'm leaving
for my ships reunion.

Oh, Grampa you look great!
Have a good time.

I'm sorry I can't be with you
tonight Jamie.

But remember, we're throwing a
big party just for you
tomorrow night.

I know, and Adam is giving me a
great present tonight.

Oh, what is it?

Well he's spending the night
next door at Kevin Holloway's,

house instead of staying home
and wrecking my party.

It's the least I could do for my
own sister.

Believe me, if I could think of
anything less, I'd do it.

You have a good time Jamie.

and listen to Charles.
I told him all the rules.

- Bye, Grampa.
- Bye, sir.

Goodbye, both of you.
Have a good time.

Okay!

All right, here's the deal.

I gotta be at Sarah's class
in ten minutes.

I got to make it back here for
the start of your party, okay?

Remember the rules.

No screaming, no wrestling,
no hugging, no touching,

no kissing, no noise.

Then, what are we allowed to do?

Have a party!

Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen. My name is Charles...

Charles, wait!
There's a problem.

What?

One of the other speakers has to
catch a plane,

so you're going on last instead
of first.

Last?
When will that be?

I'd say in about 45 minutes.

No, no Sarah, that... no.

I'm having a schedule crisis.

Your classmates are either
gonna have to find

their own way to college,

or look forward to a life of
ignorance and poverty.

Goodbye.

But, Charles, this is part of my
class project.

I'm being graded
on your performance.

All right.
I'll be back in 45 minutes.

♪♪

Buddy.

Oh, Charles!

It's about time
you got down here.

I was to my
last two card tricks.

Pick a card, any card.

Was it the nine of diamonds?

No.
Listen, where's Julie?

Oh, she and Linda
are in the bathroom.

They were getting
a little restless.

I got some bad news.

I have to go
chaperone Jamie's party,

then I have to go back to
Sarah's class,

and make a speech there.

I got to explain
the whole situation to Julie.

No, no, wait a minute.

You're going to tell Julie,

that you knew
she was coming into town

and you went ahead
and made plans anyway?

Thats's a bad idea Charles.

If Julie breaks
her date with you,

then Linda will
break her date with me!

- Charles.
- Julie, hi.

Uh, Julie you remember Charles,

Yeah right,

Charles say hello to Linda,
Linda say hello to Charles.

Listen, I have some bad news.

Uh, ah-ah-ah, actually,
it's good news.

We are all going to the
Starlight Room for dinner.

But, uh, but first...

I'm insisting that
Charles go to the hospital.

[Charles and Julie]
The hospital?

Yes, Charles' poor
old mother is there

and he didn't want to detain us,

but I think he should go visit
the poor old woman,

and Julie, I was hoping
you could talk him into it.

Yes, of course Charles.

If your mother's in the
hospital, go to see her.

We can wait.

Thank you.

My mom will be very grateful.

And Buddy, your reward
will come later.

[rock music plays]

No Jamie!

This party wasn't supposed to
start without a chaperone.

You're late, Charles.

What was I supposed to do?

Have everybody take a nap
'till you got here?

Charles this is a party,
not a tanning salon.

[bump in closet]

Hey, hey, come on!
Everybody out of the pool!

Oh, mind if I, uh-

Mind if I check your coat there
sir?

Oh, beer?

You got the wrong address.
Go on, beat it.

I swear I didn't
invite him Charles.

He's a real jerk.

I believe you, Jamie.

I just hope you
learned a lesson.

You can have all the good
intentions in the world,

but until you have
years of experience

you can't cope
with the unexpected.

Now do you see
why you need a chaperone?

No.

Mom!

Oh, I was afraid you
were never going to come.

I got to go.

Doodlebug.
Would I let my baby boy down?

No, Mom, thank you.
I got to go.

Remember when you
were a Cub Scouts?

Yes, Mom, I do.
Thank you I got to go.

And you promised the entire den
that I would drive them
to all the meetings.

Yes, Mom.
I'd love to hear that story

again, but I can't stay!

Sweetheart, neither can I.

The night manager
at Sid's is sick,

I have to work his shift
tonight.

When?

Oh, not right away.
I can stay here for uh,


That's okay, Charles.
We don't need a chaperone.

I'll be back.

Keep the lights on, the drunks
out and the closet door open.

I'm taking the beer with me.

Okay Julie,

your age is twenty so I take
twenty cards off the top.

Hi!
Oh, Charles!

Charles, how's your mother?

Oh, not great!

She only has about

Oh my God!

What happened.

Oh, no, no,
she only has about uh,

visiting time left.

Listen, would you be
offended if I um,

No, Charles go to her.
We can wait another 27 minutes.

Oh, you're so sweet.

Okay Julie, was this your card?

No.

Well, you must have
done something wrong.

Charles, where have you been?
You're on.

Good evening, ladies and
gentleman...

And now, our last speaker a
student from Copeland College,

say hello to my friend, Charles.
Charles, thank you.

Good evening.

My name is Charles and I am a
student at Copland College.

Now I am sure that
a lot of you think that,

college is a-a-a
big wast of time,

but to me college is kind of
like a giant cocoon.

Say when I was your age,
I was kind of like a larva.

Which is a type of worm.

Now, I am a pupa.

A college pupa.

But, when I get out
of the cocoon of ka-college,

I have no idea what I will be.

But, I do know that I will never
go back to being a worm again.

So my point is,

don't worry about
wasting your time,

worry about wasting your mind.
Thank you.

Charles what about questions?

No, I don't have
any questions, Sarah.

From the class.
I don't have,

None of you have
any questions, right?

Yes.

What is your major.

Education, thank you.

Primary or secondary.
- Secondary, thank you.

College isn't all work, is it?

I mean, don't you have fun?
- Yes, we do.

But sometimes it's a little
difficult getting to the fun.

Well, what kind
of fun do you have?

I mean, tell us about it.

What's your name?

Doesn't matter.
I'll remember your face.

I'll tell you what.

You want to see what college
kids do for fun huh?

There's a bunch of us
right now down at Sids,

you're all invited there for
some free pizza, it's on me,

Let's go!!

Charles?

Mom!

Jamie!

All right!
I know your in the closet.

Get out!

Go ahead, come on,
just pick one card, any card!

Buddy!
You're not my mom.

She's supposed to be here.

You're supposed to be at Sids,
with Julie and Linda.

I know,
but your mom had to leave,

somebody had to be here.

Somebody has to be
with Julie and Linda!

Oh, Charles,
I can't believe this.

We are all out of food.

Could you go get us some more?

No!

Call and order
some on the phone.

No, no wait a minute Charles,
there's your solution.

[yelling]
Okay everybody, the party is
moving to Sid's Pizza Parlor!

All the pizza you can eat,
it's on Charles!

all: [cheers]

Why did you do that Buddy?

Sarah and all her
friends are down there.

If Jamie goes, she'll see Sarah
and she'll k*ll me!

We got to cut them off
at the pass.

♪♪

All right.

We beat Jamie here.

Watch the door.
I'll be right back.

- Charles.
- Not now.

Maybe, for a second

Listen,

Julie, I got a problem.

There's some people, okay.

I'll give you an explanation,
as soon as I have one.

- Don't go away.
- Charles!

Sarah.

Listen, I want to apologize

for running out on your class,
and rushing through my speech,

and I feel bad.

[Buddy]
Whoop, whoop.

I'll be right back.
Charles!

What is it?

Grey alert.
- What?

Mr. Powell!

Charles, you are
in deep trouble.

You're supposed to be
chaperoning

Jamie's birthday party, huh?

I went home.

No Jamie, no Charles,
no birthday party.

You have a lot
of explaining to do!

Jamie's on her way sir, an-an,

and Sarah and all her
friends are here.

I invited them for some pizza.

And we're having a great time.

Really?
I'll just ask Sarah about this!

This is not going well, Buddy.
This is not going well at all.

Jamie is going to walk through
that door and see Sarah,

and I'm a dead man!

Charles, this is the best idea
you have ever had!

No, this is the worst idea
anybody's ever had.

Jamie, listen to me,
you're going to hate me.

- Sarah's here! Hi, Sarah!
- Hi.

You came to wish me
a happy birthday?

- Thank you.
- Thank Charles.

He invited me and my whole class
down for free pizza.

Charles this is the nicest
present you could
have ever given me.

I don't know how you do it,
but your plans

always seem to turn out great!

Sarah, come on, there is the boy
I want you to meet.

I'll be right there.

Charles, my teacher thought it
was a great idea

to bring everybody down here.

She said "if this doesn't
convince them to go to college,

nothing will."

I can't believe this Buddy.

I actually made both Sarah and
Jamie happy!

Well that's
two out of three Charles.

But uh, you're still in deep
trouble with Julie.

Oh, right.

Ok, let's go over there and face
the firing squad, Buddy.

Let's get this over with.

Charles look I-
- Listen,

I'm going to be
totally honest with you.

My mom is not in
the hospital.

I know, Charles.

I was just talking to her,
and she told me all the things

you were doing for the two girls
you take care of.

I think it's very sweet.

Hey, that's
three out of three Charles.

Charles,

I understand you're picking up
the tab, for all these kids.

Here's the check.

You can pay me later.
And don't forget the tip.

Right.


Charles,

Jamie just told me you're paying
for all this.

I'll tell you what.

You've done a good job,
take the rest of the night off.

Thank you, sir.

Julie, I don't know what to say.

After I pay this bill,

I'm not going to have enough
money to buy you a free dinner.

That's okay, Charles.

Why don't we
just go someplace inexpensive?

The only inexpensive place
I know is my place.

Yeah, and there's
nobody home there.

♪♪

Adam!
Hey.

What are you doing back?

I couldn't get to sleep at
Kevin's house, so I came home.

Oh.

Look, here's my last
five dollars.

Go upstairs and stay there okay?

You got it!

Where's there's a will,
there's a way.

Where were we?

Hi!

Charles!
I'm glad you're here.

We invited everyone
over for ice cream.

Everyone?

Let's go, Buddy!

♪ ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ Of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I sing ♪

♪ I want ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪

♪♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪