04x20 - The Organization Man

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

♪ The new boy
in the neighborhood ♪

♪ lives downstairs
and it's understood ♪

♪ he's there just to take
good care of me ♪

♪ like he's one
of the family ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I see I want
Charles in charge of me ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ And I see I want ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪

I'm telling you, Buddy,
I can do anything.

In the past week, I have dated
five women, aced four tests,

and tutored three students.

Yeah, well, you're lucky.

In the past week, I had one date
with two women,

and broke three ribs.

That's because I own an
organizer and you don't.

And, I'm not going to.

I don't get it.

Everybody's gone
organizer crazy.

Those things don't do any good.

Of course, they do, Buddy.
And, I have proven it.

You see, I started out with the
basic, Day Runner.

And, then I moved up to Filo-
Facts, then, Memo-Mate,

and now I've hit
the big time with...

my Little Winner.

My new digital,
electronic organizer.

Not only tells me what to do,
it also tells me how

and when to do it.
And it never fails me.

Oh, it will, Charles.
It's a machine.

Haven't you ever heard
of human error?

Of course I have.

At this very moment,
I'm talking to a human error.

Charles, Charles!
I'm in big trouble.

I have to build a project for
wood-shop class,

and it's due tomorrow.

Well, Adam, why'd you wait 'till
the last minute?

Un, it slipped my mind.
I-I forgot!

I'm an irresponsible youngster.

Help me!
I have to build
a stupid bird house.

A stupid bird house, Adam?
That's easy.

See,
if the bird's really stupid,

give him a shoe box
and tell him it's a house.

He's kidding, isn't he?

Yeah, I like to think so.
Now, hang on a second, Adam.

Let me see if I can
help you here.

All right, now.

I'm cleaning my room
from 2:30 'til 3:05.

Studying history,
from 3:10 'til 5:29,

and I'm tutoring a new student
at 6:33, that means,

I can help you at 5:37 p.m.

- Great, thanks Charles.
- All right.

Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, Buddy.

- Hi, Mom!
- Hi, Honey.

Ohh, Charles, I need your help.
- Yeah?

I have to drive to Brooklyn
right now to see your Uncle Joe.

He wants me to sign
some legal papers.

Do you think you could hire
someone to take care of the
diner while I'm gone?

Hire somebody?

Mom, you're in the restaurant
business to make money.

You don't have to hire anybody.

Don't pay anybody, let me do it.
I'l-I'll do it.

But, sweetheart,
that's very nice,

but I'm expecting a large crowd
at the diner tonight,

- and you're so busy, I mean.
- Mom! I can handle it.

Well, okay, if you're sure.
All right, here are the keys.

Okay.

Just keep an eye on
the cash register.
Goodbye.

- Goodbye, Buddy.
- All right, Mom.
I'll see you later.

♪♪

Tell me, my Little Winner...

What am I having for lunch
today?

Oh, good!
I like ham and cheese.

- Hi, everybody!
- Hi.

- Charles, this is David.
- David, how ya, doin'?

- Hi.
- Hi, David.

David and I have a date tonight.

Oh, yeah, that's nice.
Where are you goin'?

Uh, we haven't made any definite
plans yet.

Oh, really?

Well, then may I suggest the
'Starlight Roof' for a lovely
evening of dinner and dancing.

Oh, that would be wonderful.

[voice cracks]
The, the 'Starlight Roof?'

Uh, uh yeah.

Good idea.

Okay, Sarah, I'll pick you up
at six o'clock,

unless I call you before that.

I, I mean my dad might have
something he wants me to do.

I'll, I'll go home and ask him.

If he has something he wants me
to do, I'll, I'll have to do it,

in which case I'll call you.

Because I wouldn't be able to
come over until after dinner.

Okay?

Oh, sure.
See you tonight, David.

Nice meeting you guys.

[clears throat]
Buddy?

Why?

Why would you suggest the
'Starlight Roof?'

Well,

'cause that's where I'd take my
date if I could afford it.

That's what I mean, Buddy!

It's the most expensive
restaurant in town!

Oh, no!
No wonder David got so nervous.

He'll probably cancel
the whole date!

Buddy, how could you do that?

What?

[Charles and Sarah]
Oh, never mind!

Charles,
you've got to do something.

I'm gonna get a 'D' in Home Ec.

And then I'm gonna have to quit
the cheerleading squad.

Jamie, how do you know you're
gonna get a 'D?'

Because I have to take a test
I can't pass!

I'm supposed
to stay home tonight,
cook an entire meal,

serve it to actual people,

and then let them write
comments on my cooking!

I'm dead.

This is great.
This is... thank you!

I just solved two problems.

Sarah?
Can you come in here, please?

You think Sarah's gonna help me
with my cooking?

See, Jamie, all I have to do is
enter all the cooking times,

and the instructions into my new
electronic organizer.

- What is it, Charles?
- Ah, come here!

Call David, tell him to forget
about the 'Starlight Roof.'

Tell him he's coming over here
for a nice, home-cooked meal
instead.

Over here?

Yeah, you see, Jamie as to, uh,
prepare a meal for her Home Ec.

class, and she needs someone
to serve it to.

No way.

I don't want Jamie
anywhere near my date.

Come on, Sarah.

This is a chance for us
to help each other.

Look, if you're worried about
this guy liking me,

we can switch personalities.

Yeah, you dress up
and I'll dress down.

You be me, and I'll be you.

See, that way you can't lose.

Well, that might work,
but even if it does,

I don't want you anywhere
near my date.

Uh, she won't be, she won't be.

Jamie will be in the kitchen
cooking and you'll be in the
living room with David, okay?

Now, you guys have absolutely
nothing to worry about.

I am taking care of everything.
Don't worry.

- Charles, I'm depending on you.
- So am I.

There, you see that, Buddy?

An organized executive
can solve any problem.

Really?
I just have one question.

If you're gonna
supervise Sarah's date,

help Jamie cook a dinner,
and help Adam make a bird house.

Who's gonna watch
the diner for you?

An organized executive knows how
to delegate authority.

I'll get someone else to do it.

- Who?
- Who is the most competent,

trustworthy,
conscientious guy I know.

Inspector Gadget?

Let me rephrase the question.

Who is the most hard-nose,

dignified, tough guy
in the whole house?

[Charles and Buddy]
Mr. Powell.

[rock music ♪]

Now hear this!

This is your captain speaking.

I told you I ran a tight ship,
but you didn't believe me.

Consequently,

you have just lost your
obnoxious music privileges.

From now on, you will sit up
straight at your tables,

and act like young ladies
and gentlemen.

If you cannot follow my orders,
you're gonna have to leave.

All right, now, these two pieces
will make the roof, okay?

But you have to cut them to the
exact measurements.

Why can't we just put
the wood outside,

and let the birds
make their own house?

Charles, this isn't working!

I dressed down
and Sarah dressed up.

I did everything
I was supposed to do,

but I still don't understand
my cooking instructions.

Which ones?

It says, 'Put tenderloin roast
under broiler and cook ten
minutes on each side...'

- Each side of what?
- Each side of the roast.

It doesn't have sides.
It's round.

And, how is the meat supposed
to cook if I put it
under the broiler?

- All right.
- Shouldn't I put it
in the broiler?

Just relax!
I'll check with
the Little Winner, okay?

All right,
don't put the meat in yet.

Are the potatoes in?

How should I know?
I'll go look.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, that must be David.
Come in, David.

Hey!
[laughs]

David, uh, Sarah's
still dressing.

This is Adam.
Adam, this is David.

[both]: Hi.

What are you building?

A bird house.

It doesn't look
like a bird house.

Well, it will, once the birds
move in and decorate.

[laughs]
[doorbell rings]

Oh, all right, Dave,
make yourself comfortable, okay?

Uh, do you think I could get
a drink of water?

- Oh, sure, right in the
- kitchen. Thanks.

Hmm, I have nobody
scheduled for this time.

This must be Buddy.

Hey!
[chuckles]

- Charles,
I ran into Les Marlin today.
- Yeah?

He said he'd never go back into
the diner again,

after what happened.

Why, what happened?

He didn't say.

Oh, I'd better get down there.

Uh, wait a minute,
wait a minute...

Better check with
the Little Winner, first.

No, I can't go anywhere, Buddy!

I got a new student coming over
that I have to tutor
in a few minutes.

Oh, okay, I'll tell you what.

You stay here,
and I'll go down to the diner

and give Mr. Powell
a few pointers.

Do you really think Mr. Powell

is gonna take advice from
someone he calls

'the noodle that
walks like a man?'

Well, you, you said
a good executive knows
how to delegate authority.

Yeah, you're right, I did.
You, uh, okay... all right.

Now, my new student's coming
over here in a few minutes.

I haven't met him.
His name is Mike Lewis.

All he's doing is practicing his
orals in poetry.

All you have to do
is listen to him
until I get back, okay?

Well, wait a minute.
You want me to tutor a student?

No way, Charles.
I know me, I am not a tutor.

- Hi, I'm Mike Lewis.
- Hi, I'm your new tutor.

Mike...

You're a woman!

And, don't think
I don't appreciate it,

- I can handle this, Charles.
- Hey, wait.

Right this way, Mike.

Buddy, Buddy!

- Charles?
- Yes?

Let me know
when David gets here.

Well, huh, he is here.

He was here.

He's in the kitchen with Jamie.

- Already?
- I...

- Charles!
- Don't...

- You promised!
- Sarah, wait a minute!

Sit, David.

I was just talking to your cook.
- Yeah.

- She's very interesting.
- Sarah, Sara...

Buddy!
Sarah!

Buddy!

Charles, what are you still
doing here?

You're supposed to be at the
diner, go!

I, but, wait a minute!

Sarah!

Nobody move!

Mr. Powell, what the?
This place should be full.

It was full, Charles!
It was full of young college
hooligans.

Don't worry, I got rid of 'em.

Mr. Powell, if,
if the place was full why is the
cash register empty?

I told you, Charles.
They were hooligans.

After I ordered them out,

they didn't even have
the decency to come back

and pay their checks.

Charles,

I agreed to watch the diner so
you could help my grandchildren.

Now, I suggest you do your job,
and I'll do mine.

Mr. Powell, my mother is holding
me responsible for the diner.

And, I'm holding you responsible
for my grandchildren.

How, how, how,
could this have happened, how?

I have an organizer!

Will you stop whining, Charles.
I made a few phone calls.

Within 20 minutes,
the place will be packed!

You sure?

Sure, I'm sure.

Believe me,
the diner's in good hands.

Now, how are my grandchildren
doing?

- Uh, let me check.
- All right.

Jamie's in trouble,

Sarah's in trouble,

and Adam's in trouble.

But, don't worry, sir.
My organizer still works.

So, dude, do you,
like, play football?

Uh, uh, yeah, who doesn't?

Oh, I just like, love, like
football players, like ya know?

Are you, like on the team?

Um, me?

Uh, I, I, I, was,
but, but I had to quit!

But, how do you feel
about boxers?

Oh, oh, like boxers are,
like so cute!

They're, like totally
raducule, ya know?

Uh, uh, yeah.

Well, well, that's the reason I,
I had to quit the football team.

I've, I've got to protect my
hands, because,

I, I, I'm,
I'm in training to be a boxer.

Oh, how totally, total.

[footsteps]

[out of breath]
Why isn't Charles here?

He's supposed to be helping me
with my bird house.

I can't deal with wood.

I'm gonna go upstairs
and do something rash.

Whoa, like, Mondo Creepo.
Like, stay here.

I'll, like go tell the kid to,
like chill, like, ya know?

Uh, excuse me.
I hate to barge in,
but is Charles back yet?

Uh, no,

What do you need?
Can I help?

I don't think so.
Thanks anyway.

Oh, please, I insist.

'Take thy beak from out my heart

and take thy form
from off my door,

quoth the raven nevermore.'

Hold it, hold it.
That makes no sense at all.

Are, are you trying to tell me
that a guy let a bird

into his house, house and then
the bird refused to leave?

Actually, the raven symbolizes
the sorrow and the loneliness

that the man felt
for his lost Lenore.

Hey, if, if a woman dumps you,
you get another woman.

You don't buy a bird.

Oh, Miss Lewis, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I kept you waiting.

Charles, how are things
down at the diner?

Mr. Powell
threw all the customers out.

A-ha, human error
rears its ugly head.

See what happens when you take
on more than you can handle?

I did not take on more
than I can handle.

Everything is under control.
Excuse me!

Charles, David's back in the
kitchen with Jamie!

You promised you wouldn't
let that happen.

Oh, excuse me, Miss. Lewis,
I'll be right back.

Who is that guy?

Beats me.

It's just unusual
to find a girl your age,

who really likes to cook.
Oh, what else do you like.

Um, good literature,

and classical music.

I want to be a writer.

Really?

What are you gonna write?

Mostly good literature,

about classical music.

Look, why don't you go out
and go talk to Sarah?

I mean, she is your date.

Oh, Sarah had to run upstairs.

You know, she's very cute,
but, she seems a little shallow.

Shallow?

You think my sister is shallow?

Hey, David, good.

You're probably in here looking
for Sarah, huh?

Well, that's funny, 'cause she's
out there looking for you.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, Adam's looking for you.
He seems to be very upset.

Oh, wow,
I totally forgot about Adam.

I have to
reprogram my organizer.

Hmm, according to this, I should
be at the diner right now.

Now, you promised to stay away
from Sarah's boyfriend.

And, you promised to help me
with my cooking test.

I did, Jamie.

What are you, what are you
talking about?

I entered all the instructions
into the little computer here,

and I gave you a printed copy.

But, you didn't give me a copy.

You ran out of the house
with it.

Oh.

All right, here it is.
I gotta go.

Cook!

This is recipe for a bird house.

So, what do you want
to talk about, now?

That's like totally up to you
dude, like ya know?

I mean, I'm like, heavily into
fashion, hair, and fingernails,

so, like, hey, pick a subject.

Sarah!

Is that your idea of being me?

Like, what do you mean?

I mean, like you're blowing it.

I mean, no wonder David thinks
you're shallow.

He likes me being you, better
than he likes you being me!

But, you told me to be you.

Well, obviously you don't know
how to be me,

so go back to being you.

I don't get it.

Then, let me give it to you.

My sister is not shallow.

She happens to be a very bright
and wonderful person.

And, I'm not the one who's into
classical music

and good literature, she is.

I don't enjoy dressing like
Julia Child, and I hate cooking.

Tell him, Sarah.

That's true, David.

And to be completely
honest with you,

I don't like football or boxing.

Oh, I was wondering why you were
acting so flakey.

Well,
since we're all being honest,

I was never on
the football team,

and I'm not training
to be a boxer.

I want to be a writer.

So do I.

Okay, good!

Now that we've got that settled,

why don't you two just start
over again?

Sit on the couch,

get to know each other,
and stay outta my kitchen!

Oh, Sarah, listen, I'm sorry!

I've, I've been
a little crazed lately,

because my mom's diner
doesn't have any customers!

And, I let you down,
and I apologize.

It's okay, Charles.

Yeah, really, after you left,
everything worked out great!

Hey, Charles.
How's the diner?

Still empty.

Ah, that's too bad.

Mike and I were just
going down there.

Oh, Mike, Mike,
I totally forgot!

You, you came over here for some
academic help,

but I didn't give you any.

What do you mean?

I learned more from Buddy
than I ever did
from my professor.

About what?

About poetry.

See, I had to explain
every word to him.

He pretended to be so dumb,

that it forced me to really
analyze the poems.

Really?

Buddy, how, how could you
possibly convince Mike that
you're that dumb.

[over emphasizing]
- Acting.
- Genius.

- Thank you.
- Thank you!

Would you care to join us?

No, later, maybe.

I have to go help Jamie
with her cooking.

- We'll see you later, then.
- All right, I'll see you later.

Hey, Charles, look!

I finished my bird house.
What do you think?

Oh, wow, hey!
Adam that's really nice.

You see, my organizer
came in handy, after all.

Not really.

See, you forgot to leave me
the plans for the bird house so,

Sarah drew me a picture of one,
and I built it from that.

Wisenheimer.

I didn't know you were into art.
- Yeah.

Okay, places, everyone.
The Chateaubriand is served.

Wow, all right, Jamie.
That, that's really beautiful.

That, you see what happens now,

when you listen
to my instructions?

Charles, you didn't leave me
your instructions.

You left me plans
for a bird house.

Because of you, I had to read
an entire cookbook.

Funny thing is,
I actually understood it.

Good, well,

I'm glad to see that you
disorganized people are

getting along so well
without me.

If you'll excuse me, I have to
go down to the diner now.

Everything falls apart
when I'm not down there.

- A votre sante.
- Merci.

Just knock off the baby talk
and eat, okay?

[rock music plays ♪]

Yeah, Mr. Powell!
Mr. Powell.

How did you get all these people
to come back in the diner?

Good promotion, Charles.

I made a few phone calls and
spread the word that we were

giving out free, uh, hamburgers
to the first 50 customers.

Free hamburgers?

Where, where'd all the cash in
the register come from.

Well, mostly from my wallet.

When a man makes a mistake,
he should pay for it.

Yes, sir, you're right.
I did and I did.

So? We both made a mistake.

At least, we were man enough
to admit it.

We don't have to admit it
to anyone else, do we?

- I won't if you won't.
- Right arm.

Hey, Buddy!
Buddy!

Oh, hey, Charles.
This place is packed!

That Little Winner of yours
really came through!

I'm gonna have to
get me one of those.

Oh, here,
I'll let you take mine.
You'll like it.

It's the next best thing to
having a brain.

Thanks, Charles.

Yeah, let's see
what Mike and I
are gonna do later!

♪♪

if you're sure everything
is okay down here,

I'm gonna go home
and check on the kids,
all right?

'Course, it's okay.

The diner is full of customers,
and this time,

I'm gonna make sure
it stays that way.

Okay, I'll see you later.

Mr. Powell, it's me, Buddy!

I know, Lembeck!

I recognized the blank spaces
between your ears.

I just wanted you to know that
I'd be more than happy to stay
until closing if you need me.

For what?

Well, I, I, could entertain you.

Lembeck...

How in the world could you
entertain me?

I'll show you my Little Winner!

Get out!
Out, I say, get out, out out!

Mr. Powell!

I'll make a few phone calls.

♪ ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our days and our nights ♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪ of our wrongs
and our rights ♪

♪ and I see ♪

♪ I want ♪

♪ I want Charles
in charge of me ♪

♪♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

♪♪