01x20 - The Apprentice Games

[bunniefuu]

[theme song]

♪ You take the moon
and you take the sun ♪

♪ You take everything
that seems like fun ♪

♪ You stir it all up
and when you're done ♪

♪ Radda radda radda
r-r-radda radda ♪

♪ So come on in
feel free to do some looking ♪

♪ Stay awhile 'cause
something's always cooking ♪

♪ Come on in
feel free to do some looking ♪

♪ Stay awhile 'cause
something's always cooking ♪

♪ Yeah! Ladies would love it! ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Food? Any more food? ♪♪♪

[instrumental music]

[Mung]
The apprentice games

where the best representatives
of Marzipan City..

The apprentice games,
where the best representatives

of Marzipan City come to
compete for honor and glory.

Every great apprentice has
a great master to learn from.

An oozing fountain of wisdom,
passing knowledge

on to the best and brightest
of the young generation.

Today a winner shall be crowned

and it shall be me, Mung Daal.

Sorry, ladies, I'm a-taken.

And my ace apprentice, Chowder.

[Chowder gasping]

[Chowder panting]

Come on, Chowder. Come on.

We can't win
if we're not there.

I'm...coming as fast as I..

[grunts]

...can.

Ta-da! Pass out!

Here, boy.
Have a treat.

Now, come on, that gold medal
is waiting for us.

[shing!]

Hey! What's the big idea?

Let us through.

[both]
No.

Apparently, you don't know
winners when you see them.

I am one of the most
respected chefs in this city.

- And this young.. Sorry. Sorry.
- Aah!

- No.
- Stop saying "no!"

[both]
Mm...no!

Well, now you're just
being rude.

Please, kind sirs.

I just want
a chance to compete.

The chance to grasp
eternal glory

in my sweaty little hands,
and then let it melt

and then smell my hands.

[sniffs]

- That's all I ask.
- No.

We only allow
legitimate competitors.

'Now...begone.'

Legitimate competitors?

Who is possibly
more legitimate than us?!

[laughing evilly]

Something smells like...

Endive.

[both scream]

Guards, my...passage

is...blocked.

[both]
So sorry, Miss Endive.

Wha! Wha! Wha!

Wha! Wha!

Hey, num-nums.

[muffled scream]

I'm not your boyfriend!

Whew! That was close.

I thought for sure
she would eat us.

Hey. Where did those

non-legitimate
competitors go, eh?

We're on our way, Chowder.
We're on our way.

[crowd cheers]

Okay, Chowder. Ready to jump?

Almost.

[ka-ching!]

Payment for the ride.

[female #1]
'Look!
It's last year's winners!'

'Dance master Pate
and his apprentice, Ceviche.'

I could just die!

[crowd cheers]

Madam Endive,
so good to see you again.

You can put the hand down,
I will not be shaking it.

Honey, relax, it's just a game.

We are not about
to let you show us up.

Panini! Drop and give me 20!

Only 20?
Winners do more than 20.

- One, two, three, four, five..
- That's my girl.

Looks like we're gonna have
some stiff competition, my boy

but it's nothing
we can't handle, right?

- Right! We're team Mung Daal.
- Who are we?

- I can't hear you.
- Team Mung Daal!

- I can't hear you!
- Team Mung Daal!

- Okay!
- Team Mung Daal!

Chowder, I hear you!
I hear you!

- Busted an eardrum.
- Team Mung Daal.

Team Mung Daal.

- Hi, Chowder. Hmm.
- Team Mung Daal!

I like this
enthusiastic side of you.

I'm gonna win today.
Mung said so.

Hmm. That could be a problem.

See, Miss Endive likes to win

and if I don't win for her,
well..

[crank!]
...you will still love me
after I beat you, right?

Girl, ain't nothin' gonna
stop me from winning today.

Team Mung Daal!

Chowder, you do know this is
a physical competition, right?

Huh?

Yeah!

Yeah!

No-o-o-o!

[creak!]

[creak!]

No-o-o-o-o!

[grunting]

No! N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Mung! Those kids
are ex-exer-ex-exercising!

Did I forget
to mention that part?

Aaaaaaaaah!

[patter!]

Chowder! Come out of there!

[Chowder]
You said this is gonna be fun!

The fun is gone, Mung!

It's gone!

Listen, Chowder,
you know I'm great.

I know I'm great.
This mustache proves I'm great.

But I need that gold medal.

I've dreamt about it
ever since I was a little boy.

I want a gold medal.

It means so, so much to me.

More than anything.
So will you do it?

- No...way!
- Get out of there!

No! You can't make me!
I don't want to exercise!

You won't take me alive!

Chowder,
stop buttering yourself!

Just wait till
I get my hands on you

you greasy butterball!

[squeak!]

I didn't want to play
this card yet.

[sighs]
But you leave me no choice.

Chowder, if you win this sucker,
I'll give you this.

'The ultimate flavor
thrice cream, chunky'

'laka-choco-nini-nana-bana
berry swirl! With nuts.'

[gasps]

[zip!]
Ultimate thrice cream,
ultimate thrice cream

ultimate thrice cream,
ultimate thrice cream

ultimate thrice cream,
ultimate thrice cream

ultimate thrice cream,
ultimate thrice cream

ultimate thrice cream,
ultimate thrice cream.

- Ultimate thrice cream.
- Ultimate thrice cream.

- Ultimate thrice cream.
- Ultimate thrice cream.

- Ultimate thrice cream.
- Ultimate thrice cream!

Ultimate thrice cream!

And, furthermore,
ultimate thrice cream.

[crowd cheers]

[laughs maniacally]

[zoom!]

Do I really have
to do this, Stilton?

You'll do it,
and you'll like it.

Somebody's got
to bring some respect

to the candle holding
profession.

[glug glug glug]

And it ain't gonna be me.

[belches]

Stay out of trouble.

I got to go take care of
some urgent business.

[whistle!]

Aaaah!

[crash!]
My tushy feels warm.

- Get...off...me, Chowder!
- Guess what, Gorgonzola.

Mung says I get
ultimate thrice cream if I win.

You will not
be winning anything.

Why not?

Because I'm going
to make sure you lose.

- Why? Because why?
- Because. Just because!

- Just because why?
- Because I said so!

Well, which is it?

Am I gonna lose
just because you said so

or did you say so
just because I'm gonna lose?

Stop talking!

So, do you want me
to stop talking and lose

or lose and stop talking?

Four hundred and ninety-nine,
five hundred.

Whoa, after all that warming up
mama's feeling hungry.

- Go get me a hot dog!
- Yes, ma'am.

Oh. How did that happen?

We seem to be alone.

- Help!
- Hello, there, Endive.

What's the matter, Mung can't
handle being around a lady?

[wink!]
Hey, how's it going?

blink blink blink

What's wrong with your eyes?

Stilton, that is no lady.

- Won't. Won't. Can't.
- Will! Will! Can!

- No way. No way, way.
- Yes way!

No way, way, way, way.

No way, way, way,
way, way, way, way.

- Aaaaaaaaah!
- Aaaaaah!

- Are they fighting?
- I'm not sure.

- Go Chowder! Go Chowder!
- Go! Go Gorgonzola! Go!

- Aaaaaaaaah!
- Aaaaaah!

[gasps]
Oh, wow. That was
a lot of physical activity.

[both]
Attaboy Chowder/Gorgonzola,
you showed him!

Clearly my apprentice
is the victor.

Your apprentice
was screaming like a baby.

Look, I'll admit that usually
I can't tell

where the candle wax ends and
the snot begins on that kid.

- Ah-choo!
- But this time was different.

Those were primal screams.
The warrior song.

Sha la! La, la, la!

Sha la! La, la, la!

Sha la! La, la!

[fanfare]

[crowd cheers]

Wha, uh uh,
ha uh wah uh uh ha uh!

Did we win? Can I have
my ultimate thrice cream now?

Shh! She's gonna announce
this year's theme.

Uh. Uh uh buh bluh.

Bla lalalalala.
Bla la la la la.

Apprentice teamwork? The kids
got to work in teams of two?

Uh! Blalala la la lalala.

And only the best team wins?

Quick,
everyone find their partner!

Wha..

[dance music]

[toot toot]

[strike!]

Here, take him.

Partner, right here, take him.
He's housebroken.

[scamper!]

[thud]
Partner.

Somebody, please take him!

Partners? Partners?
Partners?

- I guess no one's left.
- Yeah?

Well, he didn't want to be your
stinking partner anyways!

Oh, give me a break.

[Mung]
'The apprentice games'

'where the best representatives
of Marzipan City--'

Give it a rest, Mung.

We heard all your blathering
in the first part.

I swear, all that man does
is talk about himself.

Trust me,
signs work much better.

- Yo, down in front. What?
- Hey! Hey!

- What? What?
- Hey! Hey!

[belches]

- Hey!
- Stop the violence!

Please, think of the children!

[both]
Rule one, have fun.

Rule two, me and you.

Rule three, you and me,
all the way to victory.

- I'm going to k*ll you.
- Mung, I want to go home!

- Focus, Chowder!
- Gold medal.

Go-o-o-o-o-ld medal!

Oh, yeah!
We need to work together.

Mung says there's
no "I" in "team."

Of course,
there's no "o," either.

- Baby says what? I thought so.
- What?

- The queen! The queen!
- How dare she interrupt.

I'll take care of you later.

Mung says I'm a big boy,
and I can take care of myself.

Mah, mah!

[crowd cheers]

- The first event is gleapfrog?
- We got this one in the bag.

Better get a ladder.
That's a steep climb.

Hurry!
The thrice cream will melt!

[g*nsh*t]

[crowd cheers]

What was all that hubbub?

I think
it was the gleapfrog race.

Uh.

[both]
The winners?!

[crowd cheers]

Ooh, good work.
The pink one is mine!

- Oh, my golly. They lost.
- Goldarnit!

Your little screw-up is making
my little screw-up, screw up!

Get out there
and set him straight!

Hiya, toots.

Boys, you got
to stop fussing around

and try to win this thing.

I'm trying, Mung. I really am.

But Gorgonzola's making it hard

especially with those
little dolls of his.

Ow!

[g*nsh*t]

Wuh!

[crowd cheers]

[clang!]

[clang!]

[clang!]

[clang clang clang]

[clang clang clang]

[clang!]

Alright, enough!
Goldarnit, Chowder!

- Get your head in the game!
- What game?

- Aaaaaah!
- Just get out there and win!

Why try?
This whole thing is pointless.

Looks like someone's
being a poopy.

- Scoobidee doobidoo.
- Oh.

Awesome! Team shot-put!

Oh, you think you're gonna
ace this one? Eh, pudge?

What's the problem?
It sounds fu-u-u-u-n.

[Gorgonzola]
'The problem is,
I have to throw you.'

And that's a problem 'cause..?

- 'Cause you weigh 700 pounds.
- Nuh-uhh.

Perhaps I can throw you.

Um...no. There will be
no touching of me.

Now, while I put on my
sanitary gloves

I suggest you lose weight.

[panting]

- Is that enough?
- Let me check.

- Nope. Lose more.
- Okay.

[zip! zip!]

No, no, that'll do it!

Just get into position.

You got it, chief.

- Oh, my back!
- Wheeeee!

- Hah!
- Aw, man, we lost again?

How am I ever gonna
get ultimate thrice cream?

[breathes heavily]

Hey, why don't you have
another piece of popcorn?

Maybe that'll help us win.

I am sick and tired of you
picking on me!

I am a living being!
A living being!

Help, help!
He's crushing me!

Yup, we lost.

All my dreams, gone.

[smacks lips]
Eugggh!

Failure tastes
like a bad turnip.

[sobbing]

I don't like turnips!

[continues sobbing]

[foosh!]
Hey, don't wet yourself
just yet.

There is another way.

Oh?

[both clamor]

Ultimate thrice cream!

[Mung]
'Chowder, I'm doing this
to help us win.'

You boys sit this one out,
and we'll celebrate later.

- Think anyone will notice?
- Not a chance.

[belches]
Now, let's go win this baby!

- Let me out of here!
- Good going, Chowder.

Now I have to look at you
in daylight. Aah! Hey!

[splash]

My flame!

My flame will go out!

Want...to...help.

Get...away...from me!

[muttering]

Don't touch.

[gurgling]

[Chowder]
'Wait a minute!'

[splash]

[thud!]

Chowder, you-you,
you saved my life.

Come back to me, Gorgonzola.
Come back to me.

You've got so much to live for.

I just said,
"you saved my life."

I feel like we were just
starting to become friends.

And now...now
you are gone forever!

[squeak!]
I'm not dead!

Gorgonzola! You're alive!
Oh, thank goodness!

I was starting to fall into
this really dark depression.

I mean, we lost every event,
Mung's disappointed in me

and then, I nearly drowned
my new best friend.

Well, while I do have to draw
the line at the word "friend"

you did, technically,
just save my life.

I did?

Yeah, so I guess
you're not a total waste.

I guess you're not
a solid waste, either.

I'm gonna k*ll him.

It breaks my heart
to see you in so much pain.

Would it help to talk about it?

I don't need your help!

- Stilton's hard on you, huh?
- Stop it!

- That's just the pain talking.
- I'm fine!

Does he blow his burps at you?

[crying]

- I try so hard!
- I know you do.

But the truth is,
you can't help

being the dirty
ragamuffin you are

any more than I can help being
the lovable dumpling I am.

But, quite frankly, if that's
not good enough for Mung

and Stilton, then, well, sir
that's just not right!

[slurps]
Ahh!

That's it! We need to go back
and reclaim our dignity.

Is that a new flavor
of thrice cream?

Still gonna k*ll him...really.

[pitter! pitter!]

[poink!]

[twang!]

- Chow--
- I'm not your boyfriend!

[fanfare]

Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah,
hah-hah-hah!

The final event is a dance-off?
We're gonna ace it!

Rub noses for luck!

- Yay!
- Yay!

I have 8x10 glossies
of the future winners!

Oh, you!

The final event is a dance-off?

I lead. And keep your hands
where I can see them.

[zap!]

[dance music plays]

Oh, my gosh.
They were really good.

Nah.

Yes! Get on your
pretty pants, Panini.

Time to bring this sucker home!

I'm on it, Miss Endive.

Ceviche, make yourself useful
and zip me up.

- Panini, that was unkind.
- I didn't intend to be unkind.

That's just how I talk.
Don't judge me.

[screech!]

[both gasp]

[whirl! whirl!]

You make sense to me, Ceviche!

Wow, the crowd
is really eating it up.

Nuts to that.
Hike up those tights, pal.

- It's time to dance.
- Right on!

No, seriously, hike 'em up!
It's embarrassing.

Thanks. Alley-oop!

- Um, hello?
- Hey.

[crowd boos]

Get off the stage, you stink!

Hey, you stink!

And you stink, and you stink.
Hiya, toots.

And you stink and you stink.

Quick, now's our chance.

- What do we do now?
- We have to dance.

[singing off-key]

[cricket chirps]

That's not dancing.
That's singing!

Gorgonzola,
our voices need to be heard.

Do you trust me?

Somehow...I do.

Good man.

♪ I don't know how I got here ♪

♪ I don't know where I'm goin' ♪

♪ But I'm not lettin' my pride ♪

♪ Go down the river a-flowin' ♪

[crowd jeers]

♪ Mung and Stilton
hear our plea ♪

♪ We're doin' our best
are w-e-e-e-e-e.. ♪

What is that awful sound?

It's the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard.

Give me those ears.
Clearly you are not using them.

Oh, much better.

♪ All we ask of thee ♪

♪ Is ultimate thrice cream ♪

♪ In the name ♪

♪ Of ♪

♪ Dignity ♪

♪ Woo-woo ♪♪♪

I can't take it anymore!

[pop!]

No!

[snipping]

Whoaaaa!

- What have you done?
- Aaaaaaah!

Your joke of an apprentice
scared away the queen!

Now who wins, huh, smart guys?
Who wins?

Endive, my apprentice
taught me something today.

Winning isn't about being
the best at something.

It's about being so horribly bad

that the world
can't possibly ignore you.

- Should I sing again?
- Please, no.

And that, my dear,
is the true mark of a winner.

- Thanks, Mung. No. Thank you.
- No. Thank you.

No. Thank you.

- No, thank you.
- No, thank you.

So, uh, yeah,
thank you, Gorgonzola

for not wussing out.

- No. Thank you.
- No. Thank you.

- No. Thank you.
- No. Thank you.

- No. Thank you.
- No. Thank you.

- No. Thank you.
- No. Thank you.

- No. Thank you.
- No. Thank you.

- No. Thank..
- Yaw-w-w-w-w-n.

- What? Don't make me sick!
- Thank--

Get out your claws.

I need you
to break up this love fest.

Sorry, Chowder.

I'll try to make this
as painless as possible.

[shing!]

[screeches]

Stop!

It's too much, people.
It's just too much.

You guys have, like,
totally missed

the point of these games.

And, frankly,
it breaks our hearts.

These medals mean
nothing anymore

'cause all y'alls crazy.

[angelic choir vocalizing]

Pate is right.
We have all gone crazy.

Right, the medals are
meaningless.

Absolutely meaningless.

[clatter!]

So, what do you guys
want to do now?

I want to buy the ultimate
thrice cream Mung promised me

with these two
shiny gold sments I found.

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

[chuckles]

Hi.

N-o-o-o-o-o!

[slurps]
Ahh.

N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Yum, yum, mmm, yum, yum, yum.

N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

[thud!]

Yes.

[chomp!]