12x07 - Do Not Attempt to Remove

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

[tense music]

-[Gary] Honey? Val, you okay? -Where are the kids?

-I'm fine. -You sure?

Where are the kids? I'm fine. Are they with you?

Yeah. Yeah, no. They're coming.

Okay.

-[kids] Mom! -What?

[kids] You okay?

Oh, sweetie, of course I'm okay.

Where have you guys been?

We went to go get daddy after you fell.

I fell?

On your head. Hard.

Oh.

Yeah. I guess that explains this headache.

[Bobby] May I kiss it?

Oh, you can kiss it.

That feels so much better.

Thank you, thank you.

Mmm... better, better, better, better.

You want me to call a doctor?

-Yeah, do it. -No, no, no, no, Sal. I'm fine.

-Really. I'm-- -Val, are you sure?

Yes, Gary. I'm fine.

I'm fine.

You're under suspicion for homicide.

You talk to a cop without a lawyer present.

-What's gotten into you? -Come on, I'm not worried.

Well, you better get worried, man.

They think you k*lled a guy.

They're not going to hang me on a button.

-A button? -Yeah.

They found a button by the pool.

And?

It came off of one of my shirts.

-Hi, Julie. -[Julie] Hi.

Hi, baby.

How's it going?

-[Julie] Fine. -Good.

You finished your homework?

[Julie] Not yet.

-No TV until you finish, okay? -Yes.

Yes.

You know getting information out of you is like pulling teeth.

Are you saying that they have circumstantial evidence

tying you to the scene of the crime?

-I guess so. -You guess so.

They don't even have proof yet that there was a crime.

Come on.

They have your button.

His broken fingers.

Believe me, they'll find proof.

Not against me, they won't.

How'd the button get there?

I don't know.

You know, Frank, with your background

you're a miserable witness in your own defense.

Come on. How did it get there? Did you go swimming there?

Did you put in a peashooter and sh**t it into the backyard?

Did a dog pick up the shirt and dump it in the yard?

Wait a minute.

I loaned that shirt to Val.

Did you tell the police that?

They didn't ask.

When did you get the shirt back?

I don't know.

I honestly can't remember. I don't know.

You feeling better?

Yeah.

Sure?

Yeah.

I didn't quit.

Why not?

It's the only job I have.

But it makes you miserable.

I can handle it.

It makes me miserable.

Is that my problem?

It's our problem.

I don't like you working there.

Okay? I've said it.

If you need a reason,

another reason beside the fact

that the man you work for is selfish and dangerous,

then here's another reason, I don't like you working there.

What am I supposed to do?

Cook and clean your apartment?

Do your laundry? Have your babies?

Now, the baby part is not such a bad idea.

Oh, Tom.

What do you mean "Oh, Tom?"

Oh, Tom what?

What, is there something wrong with me?

Because I think about having a family?

Maybe someday, sometime.

Something wrong with that?

Why does that rate an "Oh, Tom?"

I'll just go do a little cooking and cleaning.

I am blanking on that shirt.

I know just the one you're talking about. I just...

I wore it the morning that we went jogging

and it rained, right?

-Right. -And I didn't give it back?

No.

What the heck did I do with it?

Kids are in bed.

I didn't have exactly the book they wanted me to read,

but I managed.

Well, I'll be glad when we're living in one house.

We don't have all the stuff here, yet.

By the way, Ginny left some stuff here.

-You know, you might wanna-- -Ginny!

I gave the shirt to her.

She was doing the laundry when I came back in

and I just... I gave it to her.

-Where you going? -I'm going to take a shower.

You trust me not to run away?

I trust you to be practical.

Don't use my shampoo.

[dialing]

[phone ringing]

Hello.

[Anne] I want you to call me back right away.

I need to test my phone. I think it's broken.

[Nick] Did you say something?

No.

Who was that?

[Paige] My mother.

Sure it wasn't Greg Sumner?

What? Are you calling me a liar?

Why'd you hang up like that?

Because she hung up.

-Hello? -[Anne] Tom, this is Anne.

You or Paige call me back, right away.

I think my phone is out of order.

It's your mother. She wants you to call her back.

You sure it wasn't Greg Sumner?

-Very funny. -No, not funny, Tom.

It's tragic.

It's tragic how jealous you are.

You know, you have the most primitive view of women

and of life.

[scoffs]

Because I don't think you should work

for a guy you had an affair with.

That makes me primitive?

Yes.

You're naive.

It's a good job, Tom.

That is not why you're staying there, Paige.

That is your excuse for staying.

Mr. Psychologist.

Why don't you admit to me

that you're still interested in the old man?

[phone ringing]

Mother, stop calling. I'm busy.

-[Anne] Paige, call me back-- -[hangs up phone]

Look, if we're living together,

if we are going to live together,

I think it is fair for me to ask you

not to spend time with your ex lover.

Don't you trust me?

I don't trust him.

Oh! And what am I?

Some poor little innocent thing

who's going to be taken advantage of

by the big mean, wily fox?

He has taken advantage of you, Paige.

He has, and he will.

No, you do have a boy's view of men and women.

Why don't you just admit to me

that you still have the hots for him?

No, you are more old fashioned than Greg Sumner is

and he's twice your age.

[Tom laughs] Is that right?

What else do you want to compare?

[Paige] Call me when you grow up.

[phone ringing]

-Ryan. -Tom.

She's not here.

-Sorry. -Tom.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Mother, I'm coming over.

Mother?

Mother?

Listen. I-I-I-

Can't I... No, I understand.

What? Don't. No! No, wait, wait, please.

He hung up.

What did he say?

I tried to keep him on the phone but he he hung up.

What did he say?

I have to buy an attaché case at Stanley's

and... put the money in it.

And take it to the middle booth

of the ladies dressing room

and leave it there at 10:15 tomorrow morning.

-Let's call the police. -No.

What is Stanley's?

It's a department store.

-But-- -What time does the store open?



Listen to me, Nick.

I'm scared.

Let's call the police. I mean, they have people

to take care of this kind of thing.

No police.

[suspense music]

[Greg] Yo, Carlos.

[knocking on door]

I tried chanting, but it didn't do the trick.

Will there be anything else, sir?

Not unless you got a spare liver.

Goodnight, sir.

"Good luck" would be more appropriate, Carlos.

[phone ringing]

Hello. Paige?

[Tom] Paige?

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

-Hello. -What do you say, toots?

Oh, hi, Greg.

I'm not sure I should even be talking to you

after you twice hurt my feelings.

[Greg] Does that mean my call's not welcome?

[Anne] It's always welcomed.

But I am interrupting something.

Well, as a matter of fact

I do have some company.

Well, congratulate your company on his good fortune.

Well, goodnight, Greg.

Night, toots.

That was a friend.

I don't want the phone tied up.

Well, I don't want you making me be rude to my friends.

[knocking on door]

[Paige] Mother.

[Nick] Hello.

Oh, Lord. Uh...

Nick. Nick, isn't it?

Nick. Yes.

Yeah. Is my mother home?

Yes. Your mother is here. Of course, Anna.

I hope this doesn't embarrass you.

Are you kidding?

What a pleasant... ...surprise.

Yeah, well, I've got to spend the night here.

I hope you will find a couch very comfortable, signorina .

[Nick] Buona notte.

[Anne] Good night, dear.

Get out of my bedroom.

The less your daughter knows, the safer she'll be.

[Paige] I need a pillow.

-Here. -Thanks.

Do you mind if I take my robe as well?

Goodnight, sweetie.

Night.

Get out of my bed.

Where do you expect me to sleep?

Do I care?

I give you my word as an Italian.

Get out.

What if she comes in in the middle of the night

and finds me sleeping on the floor?

With any luck, she'll step on you.

It's too risky. We have to pretend.

That's my side.

[Anne] Would you put that back on?

[suspense music]

[loud tapping noises]

What are you doing?

Well, I'm just putting these books

in alphabetical order because I can't find

my Joy of Cooking.

Your cookbook?

Yeah, I know I brought it out here with the kids books

the last trip, but I just can't remember where we put it.

Val.

Honey.

Sweetheart,

I will buy you a new cookbook. I'll buy you a dozen cookbooks.

I will buy you a whole library full of cookbooks tomorrow,

if you just go to sleep.

Or at least let me get some sleep, huh?

What do you say? Can we do that?

Alright.

[Val] Okay.

[Val] Sorry.

Do you need anything, sir?

What are you doing up so late?

Well, I thought you might have trouble sleeping.

Yeah, well.

Good news is I have a lot more time to think.

The bad news is I don't like what I'm thinking about.

Cremation or burial.

Pardon?

When you die, Carlos,

do you want to be buried or cremated?

Cremated, sir.

Why?

Well, I don't want to take up space

that might be used for something else.

That's a great answer.

Pragmatic and altruistic at the same time.

Would you like the ranch, Carlos?

I like this ranch very much.

Would you like to have the ranch, Carlos?

Would you like to own the ranch?

I'm revising my will

and I can't think of anyone who deserves it more.

I...

...I don't know what to say, sir.

Goodnight, Carlos.

Goodnight, sir.

[dramatic music]

[tapping noises]

[tapping noises]

[sighs]

[Gary] Val?

I know it was here.

I knew it.

Well, congratulations and goodnight.

Pay attention.

I didn't sleep very well last night.

You snore.

-I do not. -[knocking on door]

Come in.

Mother, do you want to go out to breakfast?

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.

Nick and I have a date.

-Maybe lunch. -[Nick] Dinner.

-Here. -Shut up, Nick.

I'll catch you later.

You're the rudest man.

Just pay attention.

After I examined the dressing room--

You can't go into the woman's dressing room.

Jennifer. I'd like you to try this. Jennifer?

[indistinct chatter]

-[Nick] Jennifer? -[woman] Excuse me.

Excuse me, sir, but this is a women's dressing room.

I'm looking for my wife. Jennifer?

You'll have to wait outside. I'll give those to her.

I guess she's not here. I'm sorry.

[Nick] Jennifer?

Anyone who uses the emergency exit

will set off an alarm.

There's no other way out.

Nick. Let's just call the police.

No. Wait two minutes.

Then come in and buy your briefcase.

Get the black one on sale.

I'll put the money in mine. Lock it.

And set it down while I pretend to shop.

Make sure you get a shopping bag

and leave the keys in the briefcase.

-Why? -Just do it.

Stand next to me, but don't look at me.

Put the one you bought down and I'll take it.

Then you pick up mine and you'll take it

into the dressing room.

And you do snore.

-Would you mind, please? -Oh, sure.

Thank you, sir.

-Have a nice day. -Thank you.

[suspense music]

I'm going to need an extra key.

Oh, no problem,

I'm forever losing them.

Well, did you see the cases with the combination locks?

And I have a terrible memory.

Well, this seems to be a very popular model this year.

-You have a nice day. -Thank you.

[suspenseful music]

[woman] I like that dress.

[indistinct chatter]

[woman 1] I think I've tried enough dresses for one day.

-What about you? -[woman 2] No, no, no...

[woman] I hate this year's stuff

and it just looks good on teenagers, that's all.

Oh, excuse me, I'm in there.

[suspenseful music]

[suspenseful music]

[chattering continues]

What took you so long?

I had to wait for someone to finish using

that little cubicle.

Wait outside.

Go.

You are so rude.

[alarm beeping]

Excuse me, may I check your bag, ma'am?

[woman] You certainly may.

Here's my receipt.

[guard] Sorry.

Here's a little troublemaker.

But I didn't buy anything with one of those on it.

Yeah, it probably just fell in.

Thank you very much.

[alarm beeping]

[guard] Excuse me, may I see your bag, please?

Well, I don't have anything in here that would have set...

-Uh, may I... -set off the alarm.

[guard] One second, may I see your bag?

[guard] Do you have a receipt, ma'am?

[woman] Of course.

[guard] Just wait. Wait right here.

[suspenseful music]

[alarm ringing]

[tense music]

[alarm ringing]

Anna.

Anna!

Where have you been?

Taking a shower.

Did you expect me to wait for you in the parking lot?

What happened?

"This is not a million dollars. Watch the tabloids."

He got away?

I knew this would happen.

Now will you call the police?

-No. -Why?

I mean, it's obvious you can't handle this.

You've upset this guy.

He's going to blame me.

You're not in any danger.

You're not the one getting any awful telephone calls.

What if he threatens me?

If he threatens me, I'm going to the police.

I don't care what you say.

You've always suspected me.

But I'm the one who's always said let's go to the police.

Call the police.

Let them catch me.

[sighs]

I apologize for suspecting you.

So are you going to fire me?

Why would I want to fire you?

Because I didn't accept your marriage proposal.

I can separate our professional life

from our personal life.

You wanted me to say no, didn't you?

I wanted you to be realistic.

Oh, come on, what's realistic?

Taking the romance out of a romance?

Lord, you do befuddled me.

[Mort] In conclusion...

I think we can say that the proposal for this partnership

has blown hot and cold for several years now

without any long term resolution satisfactory to both parties.

And consequently, we think,

and I believe Bob has the research

to back me up on this don't you, Bob?

Yes.

We think...

both parties should not enter into this partnership lightly.

Both parties

should understand fully

the ramifications

of such a relationship before committing to it.

Both parties should make their decisions

with eyes wide open,

aware of the possibilities

and...

the pitfalls.

Thanks, Paige.

I mean, Mort. Mort.

Thanks, Mort, for the elucidation.

So what do you think?

Like the old fashioned one?

What's that?

"Will you have this man to be your husband

to live together in the covenant of marriage?"

Well, I don't know about the covenant part,

but I definitely will have this man.

Come on, we gotta get serious about it.

-I am serious about this man. -No, really.

The minister has to know which version we want to use.

-What? -Do you smell something?

-No. -I smell smoke.

Kids?

[Val] Bobby? Betsy?

[Val] Kids?

[both] Look what I made.

Were either one of you playing with matches?

-No. -No.

What does mommy smell?

-I don't know. -I don't know.

Are you sure?

-Yes. -Yeah.

Boy, look at that.

Bet a lot of work went into that, huh?

[Betsy] Well, this is the house.

-And this is the bed and this-- -That's the sky and--

Look at mommy.

You both know that you are not supposed

to play with matches, don't you?

Mom.

-Yes. -They know. They know.

Sure?

Good job, you guys.

You can't tell me he heard...

he heard one single word that I said...

Good afternoon, Mr. Sumner.

Good afternoon, Mr. Sumner.

Good afternoon, boys. Great presentation, Mort.

Pitfalls and possibilities. I loved it.

Thank you, sir.

Why didn't you tell him I helped?

He knows.

Nice.

Big macho gesture, Tom.

Dump all of my clothes into a pile.

Great.

You know, the next time this happens,

the next time that you throw a woman out of your apartment,

tell her, tell her so that she can pack properly.

I didn't throw you out, Paige.

You moved out.

In fact, you never moved in.

Well, don't whack psychological with me.

You haven't got it in you.

[scoffs] What a b*tch.

You just stayed over until you were ready

to jump back into his bed.

Look, I don't want to fight with you, okay?

Don't fight.

Let's just say goodbye.

What?

You don't want to hear me say "Go to hell, Paige."

Hm?

You don't want to hear me say that you are a spoiled,

immature, big league wannabe who doesn't know her own mind?

You don't want to hear me say

that you criticize guys for being too macho

and the fact is, the man you chose is the most macho man

that I've ever met?

You don't want to hear me say

that I tried to change my primitive view of women

as being flaky and childish

and instead of changing my mind

you convinced me that it's true?

You don't want to hear me say that?

I won't say it. I won't say it.

[dramatic music]

What do you say, admiral?

[exhales sharply]

[grunts]

Ow.

[Greg] We're very enthusiastic about this proposal.

It's at the top of our agenda,

I don't think you can be any more enthusiastic than we are.

Well, I won't challenge that.

Miss Matheson will be the liaison from our side.

She'll shepherd the project to make sure

that we all get rich or richer, as the case may be.

With all due respect to Miss Madison's obvious attributes,

we were hoping for a liaison with a little more

administrative experience.

She has all the administrative experience you'll need

and she knows enough inside dope to keep the project

from getting bogged down.

We'd be a little more comfortable with someone else.

[Greg] This young executive is as good as they get.

If you don't accept my judgment on that, then...

you won't be able to accept my judgment

on a hundred different other details that might come up,

so maybe we shouldn't be doing business together.

Hey, Levine.

Hey, pal, you got nothing.

I got enough to bring you prowling.

[Mack laughs]

I'm a volunteer. You know that. On a goodwill mission.

I'm full of goodwill and you're full of--

And you can't make a case

with that little button and you know it.

Indeed I do.

So stop harassing my client.

Are you his defense counsel?

He's not going to need any defense.

There isn't a prosecutor in his right mind

who is gonna to take your little button into court.

As long as you're defending him,

you're going to find out in discovery anyway.

I am coming in with a button and a witness.

You're bluffing.

An eyewitness.

Here you go, Donna.

-It's pretty fresh. -Thank you.

Oh, he's here.

-Frank. This is Donna Durkin. -Huh?

She's a guidance counselor at Julie's High School.

-Oh, hi. -Hi.

I'm sorry to disturb you at work,

but the school has called your house a half dozen times.

Oh, well, I'm sorry.

-I'll be back. -I've been very busy here.

Thank you for coming by.

I'm happy to, Mr. Williams.

The school and the parents are in this together.

Yeah.

Did you get any of the notices we mailed?

Any... No.

Does your daughter pick up the mail or do you?

Well, what difference would that make?

Frankly speaking, Mr. Williams,

your daughter may have thrown them away.

Now why would she do something like that?

Since the beginning of the semester,

your daughter has had seven unexcused absences.

[Levine] And one of those absences,

you guessed it, was on the day Danny was k*lled.

Died.

Not "was k*lled." Died.

Julie was home the day Danny died.

I think she saw something.

I think she knows who k*lled Danny.

You're not hungry?

Let's go to a movie or something.

No.

You know, you're not very much fun

when you get into these moods.

I'll be less fun when Mr. Conti finds out

I've lost twenty thousand of his dollars

and have nothing to show for it.

But it's not your fault.

I'll make sure to tell him that, signora .

I know that will make him feel much better.

You know, you are very rude.

Compared to the man who was sent to replace me,

I'm a barrel of laughs.

Oh, they're asleep.

[Gary laughs]

That was the longest goodnight book I've ever read.

Next time I get to choose.

Frank called me again about that shirt.

Weren't we just talking about their good night, Val?

What are they trying to make out of that shirt?

I mean, I borrowed it and I gave it back to him.

What is the big deal?

Wait a minute. I thought you said you gave it to Ginny.

-No, I didn't. -Yeah, you did.

No, I didn't, Gary.

[Gary laughs]

I did, didn't I?

Honey, honey,

will you relax?

Stop worrying. Your mind's all over the place.

You're acting like a nervous bride to be.

[mellow music]

You know what really worries me?

The wedding arrangements?

The shirt? Life?

No.

Kids.

Kids lied to me about the matches.

-Oh, come on. Are you sure? -Yep.

It's the first time and it's...

it's awful.

Well, all kids lie.

No, make that all people lie.

I can't trust them anymore.

I can't trust my own children.

[suspenseful music]

Why didn't you tell me?

What did you do that day?

-Which day? -The day Danny died.

Nothing.

You didn't go out?

You mean like to a mall?

-Yes. -No.

You stayed inside, right?

Most of the time.

When you went out...

what did you see?

[suspenseful music]

[phone ringing]

-Hello? -You still there?

Time flies when you're having fun.

-Go home. -No.

I have a lot of work to do.

A lot of work to do, and no place to go.

You weren't invited to the policeman's ball.

And your old lady copped your apartment.

I guess you could go to a hotel or sleep there in the office.

Thank you for your concern.

Hey, I know what.

I have an apartment right off my office there.

You didn't know that, didn't you?

I've heard rumors.

They're all true.

It's very comfortable.

You're welcome to it.

Are you there now?

You're so suspicious.

No, I'm safely tucked away here on that farm.

If I use that apartment, you know what people would say.

They're already saying it.

[hangs up phone]

[speaking in Italian]

Yes, yes, I need time.

That's all.

I don't know--

It was not such a--

I did not lose--

Sir.

Let me.

That's not necessary, sir.

No, absolutely.

If you would listen to me for one second,

I can explain.

Mr. Conti, please.

Give me the phone.

One second, please.

Ciao , Marco.

No, I made him give me the phone.

He's such a gentleman, he can't refuse a lady.

A gentleman like you.

[whispering] But younger.

I heard every word you said.

I want you to know Nick has been positively heroic about this.

If it weren't for him, I don't know

what would have happened to me.

He did not lose the money,

he simply gambled it for our sake.

[sighs]

He's risked a lot for us.

He's doing his very best.

And he's gonna stop whoever's doing this.

But I'll be upset beyond words

if you don't leave him alone to finish the job.

I do too, Marco.

Ciao.

He's going to leave you alone.

To finish the job.

Thank you.

theme music]