01x14 - Jorts

[bunniefuu]

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

Grft: [ roars ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning.

Good morning!

Uncle grandpa: whoa!

Is that a space alien?!

Belly bag: no, uncle grandpa.

It's a cactus.

Uncle grandpa: cactuses are

Cool.

[ Straining ]

[ Farts ]

Hmm.

Hey, guys, can I get some help

Pulling this cactus out?

Mr. Gus: hmm...

No.

Um...

Nah.

Pizza steve: hey, there,

Mr. Gus.

Uncle grandpa needs some help

Pulling a cactus.

Mr. Gus: okay.

Just cleaning some stuff out.

Be right there.

[ Squeak! ]

Wow. I think the last time I had

These on was 1993.

[ Pterodactyl squawks ]

Nice jorts!

Hey, we're all going for a swim

In those new tar pits.

Want to come?

Mr. Gus: maybe later.

Them were some good times.

I wonder if these still fit.

[ Creak! ]

[ Straining ]

[ Splat! ]

These are way too small.

I look ridiculous.

Uncle grandpa: mr. Gus, get

Out here!

Mr. Gus: oh, no!

If I go out there looking like

This....

You guys need some help pulling

A cactus?

[ Laughter ]

Good thing nobody's seen me in

These yet.

I'd be a laughingstock.

Uncle grandpa: mr. Gus, what

Are you doing in there?!

We need your muscles to pull

This cactus out!

Pizza steve: yeah.

I can't do it all myself this

Time, 'cause I've got an

Important call to make.

Hi. Mr. President?

Uncle grandpa: man,

Pizza steve knows everybody.

Mr. Gus: uh, one second!

[ Straining ]

[ Warble! Warble! ]

Oh, no!

My jorts are stuck!

[ Gasping ]

What am I gonna do?

I can't go out there.

I'll look like a fool!

I'll need a tiny miracle to get

These off.

Did somebody say, "tiny

Miracle"?

Mr. Gus: tiny miracle --

Uncle grandpa's robot helper.

Thank goodness!

Help me get these jorts off!

[ Laughs ]

Mr. Gus: what?

Oh, nothing.

Perhaps I can be of assistance.

All right, let's get this

Started.

[ Whirring ]

[ Pop! ]

[ Cat meows ]

Mr. Gus: this is taking way

Too long.

I bet I can just stretch these

Out to get them off.

[ Straining ]

What's happening to your

Legs, mr. Gus?

[ Creak! ]

Mr. Gus: almost...there.

You better hope all that

Pressure doesn't make those

Jorts...

[ Whistle! ]

...snap.

Pizza steve: uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uncle grandpa: I wish mr. Gus

Would get out here.

Mr. Gus, hurry up and help us!

[ Whistle! ]

Mr. Gus: well, that didn't

Work.
I got to get out there and help

Them.
Oh, but they'll laugh at me

Looking like this.

Wait a minute!

I can just grease these jorts

Up.

They'll slide off like a layer

Of skin in the summer.

[ Chuckles ]

Don't worry. Almost done.

Mr. Gus: "auntie grandpa's

Butter flavored soy squeezins.'"

As long as it's slippery.

[ Zip! Splat! ]

Yuck!

[ Groaning ]

[ Straining ]

[ Gasps ]

Uncle grandpa: hey, tiger,

You hear something?

Grft: [ growls ]
uncle grandpa: yeah, me

Neither.

Mr. Gus: darn it!

That was close!

Removing these jorts is gonna

Take an extreme solution.

And I'd better do it quick

Before they see me.

This better work, 'cause I'm

Running out of ideas.

[ Gasping ]

Uncle grandpa: one more tug

Should do it.
Heave...h*!

Aaah!

Belly bag: you were right,

Uncle grandpa.

That is a space alien.

Uncle grandpa: space aliens

Are cool!

Aah!

Pizza steve: [ snoring ]

Fuzzy wuzzles.

Mwah!

What the...aah!

Mr. Gus: [ grunts ]

[ All screaming ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Screaming continues ]

What am I doing?!

Not wanting to be laughed at is

Putting my friends in danger.

You guys need some help picking

A cactus!?

Uncle grandpa: mr. Gus!

Yeah, we did, but it turns out

That it really wasn't a cactus

At all, but a space alien from

Outer space.

From underground.

[ Growls ]

Mr. Gus: well, whatever you

Are...

I suggest you let go of my

Friends.

Huh?

[ Roars ]

Huh?

[ Laughing ]

What?

[ Gasps ]

[ Growls ]

Uncle grandpa: whoa, mr. Gus.

You're really cracking him up.

[ Laughing continues ]

[ Crackling ]

Huh?

[ Sloop! Sloop! ]

Uncle grandpa: yeah, I guess

I am.

Hey, ugly!

[ Sloop! ]

You like these jorts?

[ Laughing ]

Mr. Gus: you think they're

Funny?

[ Laughing continues ]

Mr. Gus: do they make you

Laugh??

Uncle grandpa: oh, I get it.

This alien is cracking up

Because you're cracking him up

With your skin-tight jorts.

Belly bag: keep it coming,

Mr. Gus!

Grft: [ roars ]

Pizza steve: uh-huh. Uh-huh.

The president says your country

Is behind you.

Mr. Gus: well, I don't care

What you think, because I wear

These jorts with pride!

[ Laughing continues ]

[ Screaming ]

Uncle grandpa: the cactus!

[ Z-z-z-zip! ]

Mr. Gus: uncle grandpa?

All: we're alive!

Uncle grandpa: and it's all

Thanks to those fine-looking

Jorts you're wearing, mr. Gus.

Mr. Gus: well, I was just

Doing my job, uncle -- wait a

Minute.

Did you say "fine-looking

Jorts"?

Grft: [ roars ]

Uncle grandpa: calm down,

Girl.

I know mr. Gus looks really

Handsome right now in his jorts,

But --

[ Coughs ]

I agree.

And they fit so perfectly.

Pizza steve: yeah, man.

Lookin' good.

Of course, I've got like 10,000

Pairs of jorts exactly like

Those, but i, uh, lent them all

To mr. Gus.

Uncle grandpa: you're such a

Nice guy, pizza steve.

Mr. Gus: so, uh, you guys

Aren't gonna laugh at how

Ridiculous I look in these?

Belly bag: what?

Uncle grandpa: why would I do

That?
Mr. Gus: good, because I'm

Planning on wearing these jorts

Forever!

Okay, ready for jorts

Removal.

[ Splat! Bong! ]

[ Laughter ]

Uncle grandpa: mr. Gus is

Not wearing pants!

Mr. Gus: but I never wear

Pants.

[ Groans ]

Never mind.

[ Zip! ]

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Up-beat music plays ]

Pizza steve: and now,

"A slice of life" with...

Pizza steve!

[ Guitar solo ]

'Sup, bro-a-saurus gus?

Mr. Gus: makin' toast.

Pizza steve: nice, nice.

So, anyway...

Yeah, all of my crazy-awesome

Friends are coming to visit.

[ Pop! ]

Mr. Gus: mm.

Pizza steve: yep, I have a

Lot of friends, and they all

Love loud noises, practicing

Italian karate at midnight,

Schoolin' fools, chewing with

Their mouths open, and lookin'

Beautiful.

They're basically just like me.

And by that, I mean, awesome!

Let's see. There's pizza pete.

He's all into pyrotechnics and

Setting stuff ablaze and

Whatnot.

[ Air horns blowing ]

Then there's pizza wayne --

Handles air horns like nobody's

Biz-nass.

Oh, and pizza chad.

Fool likes to chainsaw stuff.

And pizza beef supreme the

Mighty is cool, plays guitar in

A death-metal band!

And pizza bazerker is the

Craziest slice ever.

Mr. Gus: oh. Yeah? Uh huh.

[ Crunching ]

Pizza steve: yeah, so many

Awesome friends.

Should be here any minute.

Mr. Gus: you don't have all

Those friends.

You just said that to get under

My skin.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Pizza steve: that's probably

Them now.

Mr. Gus: you don't have any

Friends.

[ Panting ] somebody order a

Pizza?

[ Screams, truck horn blares ]

Pizza steve: thanks, m.g.

I owe you a 20-spot.

Come on, bros, to mr. Gus' room.

This party's gonna be a rager!

Whoo!

Mr. Gus: now, that's just

Sad.

Pizza steve: yo, what's

Shakin', fellas?

Mr. Gus: he doesn't have any

Friends, so he orders a pizza.

[ Up-tempo guitar solo ]

Pizza steve: whoa-h*!

Cool guitar solo, bro!

[ Chain saw whirring ]

Mr. Gus: this can't be for

Real.
Huh? "Occupied"?

Pizza steve: yeah!

Party down, fellas.

Mr. Gus: nah, nah, nah, nah.

I got to see this.

Pizza steve: nice

Pyrotechnics, dude!

[ Solo, whirring continue ]

Pizza steve: oh!

Way to handle that air horn!

Mr. Gus: nice party.

Pizza steve: oh, hey, m.g.

You just missed it.

Yeah, the bros had to bail early

This time, but, man, what a

Rager.

Mr. Gus: now, that's just

Sad

[ Up-beat music plays ]

[ Whoosh! Plink! ]

Uncle grandpa: we better call

An exterminator.

We got ants!

That was quite delicious.