01x22 - Credit Card Blues

[bunniefuu]

What's up? I'm martin.

People been sending in cards and letters

Talking about how much they like the show.

We thank you.

Some people get offended by some of the language

Like "hell" and "damn."

The only reason we use those words

Is because we can't say [bleep].


♪ Martin ♪

How y'all been? ♪ Martin

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

Ha ha.

Where is cole? I'm starving.

He better hurry up before he get left.

He's picking up his new girlfriend.

What happened to big shirley?

You didn't hear?

Apparently, she ate one too many doritos and popped.

[Knock on door]

Yo, yo, yo. What's up?

Sorry I'm late. Check this out, martin, tommy.

You'll never guess who I ran into.

Who, cole?

Ahem.

I don't think

Your name is martin or tommy.

Thank you!

Come on, cole. Who?

Check this out.

Ricky thompson.

Get out, slick. Ricky thompson?

He was the man. Where's he been?

He used to try sell us those firecrackers.

That's messed up,

What them firecrackers did to his brother.

Not really. His brother's cool.

You don't need hands to kick a football.

That's cold!

Where is he?

Dang!

Who's in the house?

What's up, man?

What's up?

Oh, oh. Oh!

Oh. Oh!

But I have to say a special hello

To the beautiful ladies.

Are you two ladies models?

Hee hee hee hee.

Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee!

Yo, man, look, ricky. We cool and all that,

But this one here, the fine one, that's me.

And who is this sweet thing over here?

Oh, that thing?

That's just pam. You can have that.

Don't pay martin any mind.

He's a little slow.

His parents were cousins.

Pamela. Pleased to meet you.

What you been doing the past few years?

Producing records in europe.

But I hear martin's the man,

Got a big radio show and all that.

I don't like to come off like I'm bragging,

But, brother, do i!

Why don't you invite ricky

To go to dinner with us?

We's going out to get pizza.

I got a better suggestion.

Let's go to casa comida

And have some dinner and margaritas-- my treat.

I used to park cars there. It's expensive.

There's no such thing as expensive

If you having fun.

The last few years have been good to me.

And besides, you can't take it with you.

Aha! That's right, man.

There's no such thing as expensive.

Shut up before he remembers

How much you can eat.

Can we be out?

Yes! Yes! Yes!

And , and ,

And I don't want no cellulite.

And , and , and , , , ,

, , , .

And , and ,

And , , , ,

Work them buns, work them buns.

Girl, don't you start nothing up in here.

, --

You go, girl!

Stop, martin! Stop it!

That's your problem.

Your mind is always in the gutter.

That's what made me fall in love--

Right there.

Martin, you are lazy.

You need to be doing this,

Love handles.

You crazy.

Oh, come on. Come on!

Where you at with yours, huh?

And work, and work.

[Knock on door]

Why you got to put your knees that high?

I got to get the door.

Probably the neighbors complaining, heavy g.

Yo.

How you doing? All right.

How you doing, gina?

What's up? What's up?

Boy, the neighborhood sure has changed since I left.

Who is that drunk laying on the steps?

That's mr. Obreck, our old principal.

I throw the brother a book now and then,

But he refuses to read.

Recession, bro. Recession.

I was going to go downtown shopping.

You want to roll?

I'll roll. I'm just giving heavy g. Fitness tips.

When they get flabby and fluffy,

You got to get rid of them.

That's right, love handles.

Martin, would you mind driving?

My benz is being shipped here from l.a.,

And I don't have no transpo,

Unless you want me to rent a limo.

It's cool. I'll drive. Babe, I'll be back.

I loves you.

I love you, too.

Hey, gina, girl, when you finish working out

And your body's sweaty and glistening...

Yes, martin?

Put them funky sneakers out in the hall.

Yo, man, the last time I had this much stuff

Was during the riots.

Man, I'm just playing, man.

Can I help you gentlemen with something?

Yes. We'd like to look at your watches.

I have some nice ones in this case.

Got jewelry shining all up in the house!

Yeah. These are nice.

What's the price on this one?

This watch band is white gold.

I could let it go for ,.

Pfft! ,!

$,?

No, no. Excuse me, miss, um--

Jackson. Miss jackson.

Mmm! Your last name jackson?

So poppa joe got you working, huh?

Well, let me ask you a question.

Who's older-- you or latoya?

Now, don't be like that, janet.

Oop!

I mean, miss jackson. If you nasty...

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Chill, man. Chill.

I'm just playing--

Chill!

All right. All right.

I-i'm sorry about that.

Um...i'm in the record industry.

Matter of fact,

I'm about to be the next barry gordy,

So why don't you wrap that up for me?

I'm sorry. For anything over ,,

I'll have to call it in.

Well, you phone home.

Is there anything that you want?

Because I appreciate you driving me around.

No, I'm cool. But, thanks.

Are you sure, man?

Because, hey, money's no object to me.

Ahem. I ain't usually into jewelry, but damn!

You could hook a brother up

With some jordans from the foot locker.

All right.

There you go.

You're all set, mr. Eckstein,

If you'll just sign right here.

Eckstein?

That's my stage name. I didn't tell you?

It's kind of cool, huh?

Yeah. That's real fly.

I'll just wrap this watch up.

Yeah. Wrap that.

Thank you very much.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

That credit card is stolen.

You're under arrest.

Bro, you don't raise up on me!

Now, look, officer, you made a big mistake.

Tell them your credit card is good, man.

The credit card is good...

But it ain't mine, partner.

Looks like you're caught,

Partner.

Aw, damn!

Look, bro,

I didn't mean to holler at you earlier, bro.

Hello? Man, where are you?

I'm in jail.

Um, yeah. Well, look,

Ricky got arrested for credit card scamming,

And they took me down, too, man, but I'm innocent.

Do not tell gina.

You and tommy get together $,

And bail me out of here fast.

All right? O.k., Cole?

If something happen to me, man,

Before you get here,

Tell everybody I went down fighting,

'Cause that's how I am. I'm a man.

Whatever you do, don't tell gina.

Love you. Bye.

[Knuckles crack]

What?

Martin's in jail!

Ricky had gotten in trouble

With some credit card scam.

He need about $, to get out.

$,?

He could get hurt in there.

Let's bail him out.

Where can we get $,?

I got . Y'all need it now?

Yes, pam!

All I have is .

I can get from the atm.

I got about $.

That's my mother's change from the grocery store.

Where will we get the rest?

I got an idea. Excuse me.

No, cole!

That's sheneneh's!

Trust me. I know what I'm doing.

Are you crazy?

Are you crazy?

You don't knock on people's door like that.

That is disrespectful.

Huh?

I guess the g*ng is all here.

How y'all doing?

It's an emergency, o.k.?

I need a favor. I need about $.

Damn, cole! We cool and all that,

But what you trying to buy, a hyundai?

Y'all need money from sheneneh, huh?

Let's see what sheneneh got

For the little kids.

Ha ha!

There! Y'all like that? Huh?

I bet y'all need this money.

Smell that. That's green.

How bad y'all need this?

Really bad. Martin's in jail.

What he do?

Who'd he k*ll?

He didn't k*ll anybody, sheneneh.

If he didn't k*ll nobody,

They'd let him go.

Y'all drove him to it.

Y'all drove him to it. I know!

We don't have time for this.

Can you please help us?

Gina, forget all that.

Girl, stop all the drama

And give us the money.

Money went back in the bank, o.k.?

She's sorry.

She's sorry.

She is not!

I ain't sorry!

She is!

She's very sorry, sheneneh.

She didn't mean it.

Now, can you please help us?

Can you please back up

Out of my damn face?

Just back up, o.k.?

I don't like you anyway,

And you know that.

You let me think.

And don't be...

Don't be sucking your teeth.

Let me think about it.

Sheneneh...

It's going to cost y'all % on the dollar.

What?

Shut up!

Shut it up.

Zip it. Throw it away.

Tell her to throw it away.

She threw it away.

I didn't see nothing throwed.

There. Gone.

Right there. That's where I want to see it.

Let me kick that key.

There.

There.

It's going to cost you % on the dollar.

If I don't get it back,

All hell is going to break loose.

All right? Here.

Thank you.

Wait. Wait. Whoa. Whoa.

Gina, if you hahh one more time, I'll...

What? What?

Tell her...cole...

Cole, you better talk to her.

Cole, tell her don't...

Tell her don't...

All right!

All right!

Now...

I'm very sorry.

I know you are sorry.

You do me a favor.

You got my money.

When you get down there,

If carl bridges is still locked up,

Tell him, when he gets out,

He got a place to stay.

Tell him to come see sheneneh,

Because I will show him...

A different stroke.

All right?

Look here, sheneneh.

What's taking you so long?

Get on back in there

And make me my ham sandwich.

Lafonne, don't be embarrassing me

In front of my friends.

If you can't hold your liquor,

You shouldn't be drinking.

All right. I'm sorry.

You working out?

Give me some of this, boy.

Listen up!

Excuse me, last of the mohicans.

What? What?

Now, listen up.

I'm here to do my time, o.k.?

I don't want nobody in this here corner.

I needs my space.

I don't want nobody around me.

Are we confirmed on that?

I'll see you when the lights go out.

Right on.

Right on.

Yo, man, excuse me.

Excuse me.

Don't look at me like that, bruce lee.

I know karate, too.

I'm good with my hands.

Hyah!

I'm good with mine, too.

I should kick you in your neck, man,

Talking about that car was yours.

I lied.

Uh..uh..uh...

Uh...uh...uh...

Man...

We'll be out soon, so don't worry.

Don't worry?

You got me in here with these knuckleheads,

And you're talking don't worry.

All that crap about crazy people in jail,

It's just the movies.

It ain't real.

What are you in for?

Didn't you hear me

Saying I didn't want nobody in my face?

Didn't you hear that, man?

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

So you'll be disrespectful

And ignore me, huh?

What you in for?

They found bodies buried in my back yard...

But they'll never find their arms.

You know what? I read about you, man.

You'll do lots of time.

You'll need a hand. Oops.

I guess you got enough of those.

Excuse me, my brother.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm brother shabazz.

What's up?

You see, the man arrested me

For this petty crime

To get the brother man off the street.

Then they put me in here with psychos like that

To mess with my mind.

Now, is it me,

Or is it a conspiracy, my brother?

Uh, it's just you.

Excuse me, brother.

Before you go,

Let me show you something.

What do you see, brother?

I see a page, man.

A white page...

That means nothing

Until you add these black words.

Salaam, my brother.

Peace and a bottle of hair grease to you.

Excuse me, tribe.

Can I get to the phone?

You know? What's up?

[Kissing sound]

Y'all cancel that, o.k.?

Ain't going to be any kissing.

I don't play all that.

Y'all k*ll that noise.

I ain't the one, you know?

I ain't no punk about mine.

Somebody pick up the phone!

Somebody pick up the phone!

I would never leave y'all in jail.

I'm scared.

I'm so scared.

Tell my mama I said hi.

I love her.

Hey, you homesick little girl.

It looks like you could use a friend.

Stop the press.

Stop the press.

Look here, bro.

Before we get into a little physical confrontation,

Try this.

Before you go growling up in people's face,

Take one tic-tac,

Put it in your mouth

And get a bang out of life.

I'm telling you, man,

Because your breath is hahhh.

It's horrible.

Your breath is tart, bro.

O.k.? All right?

Your breath is kicking like van damme.

You better shut the hell up!

Don't nobody be grabbing me.

I said don't grab me.

Somebody... Somebody get him off me.

Somebody get him off me.

Now stop it.

See, I did not want to harm this man,

You know?

But my mind, you know,

It was poisoned...

By the system.

Yeah. Yeah.

I didn't fight this man.

The system fought this man.

So I say unto you,

As your new leader,

Is that brother against brother

Is a house what?

Divided. Divided.

Divided, brothers.

You know?

See, this is why we got to read.

We got to go through the pages,

Because how are we going to rise

As a civilization

Without what, brothers?

Knowledge. Knowledge.

Knowledge. All right.

Preach on, my brother. Preach on.

See, bro, there you go

With the grabbing and the touching again.

That's what got your a*s whipped at the phone.

Now, now, now.

It's going to be all right.

Now, where was i?

We didn't land on plymouth rock.

Plymouth rock landed on us.

Martin!

Baby, are you all right?

Yo, gina!

Baby, I been institutionalized.

I shamed you all.

No!

Yes, I have.

Hey, everybody, this is my girl gina.

Hi, gina. Hi, gina.

Yeah. Remember that?

All right, martin x.

Your bail's been posted.

It's about damn time.

I tried to tell him,

But he didn't believe.

Just think I'm a criminal.

Martin, man, don't leave me in here.

Hold on.

Aw, ricky.

Look, I'll take care of you, o.k.?

Big man?

Yes, my brother?

All right. All right.

This is a partner of mine, all right?

Take care of him.

Don't worry. I like ricky.

As a matter of fact,

I'm going to make it

Like one big honeymoon in here. Mmm.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Before you go on the honeymoon,

What're you supposed to get?

A tic-tac.

There you go.

Let it marinate.

I'm so glad to see y'all,

Especially you, baby.

Yeah, you, cole.

My man, tommy.

Oh, yeah. You, too, pam.

Hey, guys, I been hurting.

Can I get some love, please?

Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!