02x22 - Yours, Mine and Ours

[bunniefuu]

Hi, babe.

Hi, babe.

Gina...

Huh?

Does the tv look a little fuzzy to you?

Not really.

Martin, why are you watching pinocchio?

You see? That's what I'm talking about.

That's la toya, gina!

♪ Martin ♪

How y'all been? ♪ Martin

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

Well, fine, o.k.?

Well, I'm banging on it all day.

That's fine, martin.

The bottom line is, how much money are you going to spend?

Uh, $...

Unless you want to chip in your ducats,

Since you're watching it all the time.

You can get a good tv for $.

Look, look! We're on tv!

Move up, move up.

Cole, watch out. You're in my way, man.

Yo, I'm looking fly, boy. Looking fly.

Fly boy...

Ha ha ha!

I got my eye on you.

Aah! "I got my eye on you"!

Aye-aye-aye-aye!

What? What? What's up?

Ohh!

Tommy, cole!

Oh, that's it.

Right there.

That's the new hoshitoshi .

Hoshitoshi!

Hoshitoshi!

Ooh! Whoo!

I read an article on this.

This is the biggest screen allowed by law.

I think I may have found something I love a little more than gina!

Oh, it could be yours for about--

Excuse me, brother--

About $,, now.

Oh.

You made an excellent choice.

Shall I take it to your car,

Have it delivered to your house?

Slow down, spartacus.

We're looking at another tv, o.k.?

What? Which one?

Uh, right here. Right here.

Oh, the little one, huh?

We call that the b*tch .

My mistake.

You want that in pink or peach?

Excuse me?

What you want is a man's tv!

Watch this. Watch this.

[Man's voice] the unit is on.

Damn!

Hoshitoshi!

Hoshitoshi!

Whoo!

Look, look, look, look.

You want the tv, I can help you.

I could lose my job for this, eh?

But for you--,.

Ooh!

He's already starting to come down on the price, tommy!

,. ,.

,.

You're k*lling me! ,.

Aah!

You got him. Keep going!

Down! Down!

My absolute last offer--

,. No box!

,.

Whoo, ! , Tommy!

I'm saving over $,.

Martin, you're not serious.

Shut up, man! I'm thinking.

O.k., Martin, let's go.

Get off me!

Oh! The bald one is not your friend!

Hey, hey!

O.k.

Look, martin, come on, man.

I am doing you a favor, o.k.?

You were about to make an impulse buy.

That salesman's playing you, man!

I don't know about all that, tommy.

,? Look at me!

? Sounds like a good price to me.

Shut up, cole! Come here, martin!

Listen! The last thing you need, man,

Is a big-screen tv!

Don't you have a lot of expenses coming up,

With your wedding and all?

Yeah, yeah. With the ring.

Don't do it.

Do it.

Don't do it.

Do it!

Don't!

Aah! Aah!

Let's just go! Let's just beat it out of here!

Go! Go!

Wait!

Tommy, cole...

It just keeps callin' me.

It's callin' me.

Martin...

Martin!

Buy me, martin.

Buy me!

Tommy, I'm losing my mind!

Martin... Take me home.

Martin, take me home!

Martin...

Buy me, martin. Buy m--

I'm just kidding. I like to do this, eh?

Opah!

You don't want the tv?

I'll give you .

Sold! I'll get the box.

Ooh, look at that baby!

You played him. Yeah!

Hold on, hold on. Wait a minute!

Martin, what about gina?

What about her, tommy? Huh?

I mean, she can watch it occasionally.

Half that money's gina's.

Oh, man! You don't get it, do you?

Gina explained it to me this morning.

It's not half gina's.

It's not half mine.

It's all mine. Excuse me.

Man, this is crazy.

It's his money.

They have a joint account.

It's his responsibility to--

Excuse me.

Are y'all getting ready to buy that big-screen tv?

Because we'd love to come by and...watch.

Nikkos! Hurry up with our damn tv, man!

How you doing, baby?

You like that hoshitoshi?

Ohh, yes.

[Television plays]

[Laughter]

Hey, martin, uh, look, man.

Yeah?

Turn up the sound, now. Go ahead.

All right.

You know what?

The picture is absolutely unbelievable,

But I think we need to back up.

You know what, tommy? You're right.

I feel like I'm right in the tv.

Let's back up. I'll bring the sound up.

.........

Uhh!

[Giggling]

Whoo!

Yeah!

You guys are so crazy!

See? That's better.

Look, man.

I got a couple of home videos

We could check out later.

No, cole. Please.

I'm not trying to see inches

Of big shirley on a water slide.

I'm just saying my stomach can't hold it.

Hey, baby, what's up? Look at the big screen.

You know, I don't want to be a freak.

I just can't help myself.

How y'all doing?

Hello.

Hey, how you doing?

Check the big screen.

Uh, martin, can I see you for a minute, baby?

Sure, sure.

O.k., Y'all, is it in focus?

Hi, baby. How'd you get the tv?

Oh, girl, by stealth, gina.

Uh, remember I was supposed

To spend $ on that punk tv?

Well, gina, I saved us over $,

By buying us the biggest tv in the world, baby!

Ha ha!

Made us $. $!

You bought that with our account?

Oh, nothing but the joint account.

You know?

That's nice.

Check it out.

Hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey!

No, she didn't!

Uh--uh--uh, honey, you know...

You don't know my baby.

Don't get your a*s kicked, all right?

Uh...

Uh--uh--uh, just what the hell are you doing?

Look, baby--

What are you doing?

I'm going to call the bank

And stop the check for this.

Then I'm going to get the club from my car

And get to swinging.

It is time to go.

No, don't leave!

I'd love for you to be here when I get back!

Bye, sniggling! Bye, giggling!

Hey, guys, say bye to the television.

Hoshitoshi. Hoshitoshi.

That's right.

All right, now!

Sorry you can't be here when I get back.

All right.

You still here?

[Basketball game plays]

What is that?

I mean, like...

Just tell me, what are we watching?

'Cause I can't tell.

It's basketball, cole, o.k.?

The same as it was before we took back the big screen.

Must be, like, ant basketball

Or something like that.

Rrraah!

I got to admit,

Sitting around wasting our lives

Was more exciting when we had the hoshitoshi!

Word, man.

Till gina came and ruined everything.

I don't want to live no more, o.k.?

I just--you know...

Oh, there it is!

Uh, beady bead...

Pam, gina's not here.

She went to the store, so be gone--puff! Pow!

No, no.

I'm not here to see gina.

I'm here to watch you enjoy your little tv.

It's so cute!

Yeah, pam, that's the b*tch .

You came over just to rub this in?

Well, actually, tommy...

I did.

And it's making my day, dawg!

What is it about men and big-screen tvs?

Is it that they're compensating for something else?

I don't know. Somebody tell me.

Oh, well, I got to go.

See, martin, I'm going home

To watch my -inch tv.

See, martin...

Mine's bigger than yours.

Hey, y'all, peace!

I bet it is, pam!

That's why your voice is so much deeper than mine.

[Gruff voice] peace!

So is this it? Is this my life, man?

Gina beats me down,

Then sends her henchman pam over here to pump me.

Is this what it's come to?

She ain't beating you down.

All couples budget.

No, tommy. Come on, man.

Every woman budgets,

And every man suffers because of it.

Why is it that everything we buy,

They call us being frivolous?

I dig that.

Like a giant tv that talks.

Tommy, all I know is,

You ain't had no woman before we got one.

Hey, shut up.

Martin, look, man, all right?

All gina wants is for you to be responsible.

That's it.

I am being responsible, man.

I mean, tommy, I took back the hoshitoshi.

Now I got pretty in pink.

I mean, come on, man.

What about gina, huh?

What's she spending mymoney on, man?

I'm going to go check out,

Find out what's going on with my money, man.

Cornbread and cupcakes.

Oh.

Hey, baby. What you doing here?

I didn't expect you till later.

Oh, it's later, gina.

Very late.

Too late to stop the madness.

What madness, martin?

I'm talking about the spending madness, gina.

I'm talking about the budget.

What were the pantyhose doing in the garbage can, huh?

They're tore up.

Tore up, gina?

Girl, I could use this for a stocking cap or anything, gina.

In my later years, I might want a jheri curl.

This could've held the juices.

All right, o.k.

I know what this is about.

This is about the tv, isn't it?

I'm sorry, but we can't afford it.

We can't afford a tv, but we can afford this?

We can afford this? Huh?

Where did you get that wig?

I found it under the bed shivering, scared to death.

Poor thing. Poor thing.

There is a big difference between a wig and a tv.

Oh. But you bought it with my money, right?

Our money, yes.

Then pack it up, 'cause it's going back.

This system won't work unless we both make some sacrifices.

Sacrifices? This is not fair, gina.

I buy you a fat rock.

I ain't get a damn thing.

I'm still waiting on a thank-you card.

I can't talk to you when you're like this.

I'm going in the bedroom.

You can stay here and chill a while.

Stay here, o.k.?

What's in the bag, gina?

Huh?

You heard me. What's in the bag?

You don't have to snatch it!

What's in the bag, huh?

Aah!

A breadmaker, huh, gina?

What, you want your little toast-toast?

A little english muffin or something, huh?

For $?

Martin!

What?

Hey, this was on sale.

I saved us $.

And I saved us over ,.

I hope you kept the receipt, 'cause it's going back!

Fine. You know what?

You don't have to go through all that

Because this joint account isn't working.

So later, I'm going to give you your half of the money.

O.k., Fine, gina. Fine. Fine.

You do what you want with your half of the money,

And I'll do what I want with my half. Agreed?

Agreed.

Now, excuse me.

So I'll see you a little later?

Oh, oh, brother, wait one second.

That you owe me?

I'd like my money, please.

Ain't this a...

Well, take your money as we going through this crisis.

You say it's a joint account.

You say it's a joint account.

Yeah. Geekos!

Oh. Oh, no.

What's happening?

What you want to return now,

Mr. Stop-the-check?

He didn't return the tv.

His fiancée made him do it.

Oh, pumped by your woman, huh?

In my village, they'd make you put on a dress

And dance with the town idiot.

Uh, look here, nikkos, all right?

I'm sure your village is very manly,

Very macho, o.k.?

But I'm straight with my woman.

And I'm back to make a deal.

That's right, spartacus.

This time I got cash.

Will the moola bring you from around the corner?

I like your attitude, eh?

I'm glad to see you think only of yourself.

Like a man.

No, no, no, nikky. I ain't like that.

I love my woman more than a tv, o.k.? Pow pow.

Oh, come on. If there was an earthquake,

You wouldn't be thinking,

"Oh, damn. I hope my woman doesn't fall over."

There it is...

The ultimate in selfishness, eh?

The tv that says, "I only love me."

No. No, don't. Come here. Look, look.

Hoshitoshi.

Hoshitoshi.

Hoshitoshi.

Hoshitoshi.

Gina, boo! I got you something, girl.

Come on out.

Hey, baby, I got you something, too!

Ohh!

Aw, gina,

No, you did not get me the big-screen tv.

I was thinking about what I said earlier,

And I decided what I wanted to do with my money

Was get you the tv.

Oh, girl.

You're something. You know that?

Look what I got you-- the breadmaker.

Oh, martin. That is so sweet!

You know what? We here.

Come here.

Give me love. Give me love.

Hold up. Hold up.

Ohh.

Let me think for a minute.

Gina, your half of the money

Wasn't enough to buy that big-screen tv.

Where'd you get the money, girl?

Ooh.

Well, martin, I have a confession to make.

I didn't exactly put all my money

Into the joint account.

I had a little stash for a rainy day.

Oh.

A little stash, huh?

Well, how much stash you have for the rainy day?

Was it , ?

Add a zero, baby.

,?

Gs, gina,

Stashed for a rainy day?

Girl, noah wasn't even packed like that, gina.

Gina, nuh-uh. Uh-uh. You know what?

You were holding out on me.

You ain't right.

You are not right.

Baby, baby, I am sorry.

Look, are you mad at me?

Mad? Mad?

I'm not.

No, no, gina, no. I'm not mad, baby.

Not mad at all. Baby, I'm just disappointed.

I'm just very disappointed, gina.

Look, let me tell you something, girl.

O.k., You hear me now, all right?

O.k.

Gina, if you are serious about this relationship,

You have to be more honest with me.

Baby, somebody's at the door.

[Knocking]

Don't you hear the knocking?

What? What are you-- what?

[Pounding]

Ohh!

I'll get it.

Yeah.

I got a big-screen tv for martin payne.

Wrong floor. That's upstairs. Fifth floor.

Come on. This thing is heavy.

Get out.

Get out of my way, man.

It's heavy.

Th-that's not mine.

Yeah?

Man, you don't get it, do you, man?

I said, if I don't answer after two knocks,

Take the damn-screen tv yourself.

You can't get it, man? Get on out of here.

Who's your supervisor? Just git.

Hold up. Hold up!

Martin, something ain't right!

Your half of the money

Wasn't enough to buy a big-screen tv either.

How much did you hold out for, brother,

,? ,?

Take away a zero.

Martin!

You played me first.

No, martin. You lied to me, too.

Don't be the kettle calling the pot

Or the pot calling the kettle.

Oh! Martin, we just cannot be trusted.

Boo, you know what it is?

I mean, gina, baby, it's just too soon.

We're not even married yet.

We just need to take it slow.

I got an idea, though.

Why don't we take all the money we have on us...

And put it in a cookie jar?

So whenever we want money,

We meet at the cookie jar.

Meet at the cookie jar.

I like what you saying. That's a good idea.

I love you.

I love you.

I got a lot of money.

I got a lot of money.

It look balled up. That's all.

Oh, baby.

Ooh.

You don't have to put your hand on it.

Let's put the top on it.

I'm doing it.

You give me my money.

Damn a joint account!

Damn it!

Dear martin,

Thank you so much

For the lovely ring.

The thing I like most about the ring

Is that it is so...

Expensive.

If I ever doubt your love,

I will just gaze down at the price tag

Which you were so kind to have framed for me.

Are you happy now?

Warmest regards,

Gina.

Cool.

That's all I wanted, gina.

Forgot to dot your "i".