03x20 - Pedigree

[bunniefuu]

Mrs. Reg: Hey, everybody. Listen up.

We've got a special guest arriving this afternoon.

Samantha Askew.

Let's hope she can ride.

Yes, she just took first place

at the Buckingham three-day event.

Is she from the U.K.?

Yes.

Her folks are just returning from a time in Europe.

Okay, let's get this show on the road.

Askew...did her sister just recently get married?

A big society wedding?

Well, I certainly wasn't invited.

Nor me.

Askew?

[Horse neighs]

No, you'll be disqualified if you use your thumb.

So what about a rubber band?

Very funny.

Hold your reins tighter, you'll have more control.

People, people, people! Oh my gosh.

The new girl...

she was maid of honor at a royal wedding.

Desi, get changed!

You can't meet Samantha dressed like that.

Slow down, Veronica. What are you saying?

Samantha Askew's sister Abigail

married the Earl of Morebank

who is twenty-ninth in line to the throne.

Twenty-ninth? Is that good?

And you've got to stop all this kiddie stuff.

Samantha came first in the Buckingham Dressage.

Max: Everything okay here?

Max, which horse have you allocated to Samantha?

Ah. It's Willow, isn't it?

Willow's free.

Willow?

But he's not even a thoroughbred.

He's a good horse.

I'll go and groom Garnet. She can have Garnet.

[Chuckling]

♪ Hello, world

♪ This is me

♪ Life should be

♪ Mm-mm, yeah

♪ Fun for everyone

♪ Hello, world

♪ Come and see

♪ Life should be

♪ Fun for everyone!

[Donkey brays]

[Laughing]

[Grunting]

Veronica: Jack! A little help here!

Get up! Get up!

Go and clean the lounge.

Ah, what's she going to think of us?

I've got to brush Garnet.

And get that animal out of here!

And the popcorn!

We're not your servants.

Servants. Yes!

That'll make her feel more at home.

I'll pay you!

How much?

Is that all you ever think of?

Two dollars an hour.

Two dollars an hour?

You need to have a lie down, Veronica.

Aghh!

Veronica: She's coming!

She's coming!

Max, get the door!

What? The door!

All right.

Hi Samantha, I'm Max Regnery.

How do you do, Max.

Veronica: Samantha...

I'm Veronica di Angelo.

And this is my good friend Desiree Biggins.

It's just Desi.

Delighted to meet you both.

Max: Now. This is Carole, Simon, and Lisa.

Hi. Samantha Askew.

Welcome.

Now, that is class.

Uh. Where is Stevie?

Ah here she is. And this is Stevie.

How's it going?

[Mocking] How's it going?

Badly, when you open your mouth.

Max: Come on, Samantha. Let's get you signed in.

Let's do it.

What on Earth are they doing?

Were there many royals at the wedding?

Uh, some...

but many were doing other things.

Of course-- like opening malls

or castles?

This is such a lovely little place.

Mmm. But one would not stay forever.

Some of the students aren't very good.

Oh. Watch out!

Hee-haw-hee-haw...

Sam: What are you doing?

Just practicing for the...

Oh, for a lame...

I-I mean, juvenile little competition on Saturday.

But shouldn't you be on a horse?

Must first achieve perfect balance.

It's all very immature.

I would've said quaint.

Well, exactly.

Ah, let me introduce you to Garnet.

Where are those three girls I met?

Oh, the Saddle Club?

I don't know where they are.

Oh, the Saddle Club, they're in the lounge.

Thank you.

No problem.

Hello, everybody.

Oh. Hi, Sam.

Samantha's name is Samantha.

Um, want some hot chocolate and waffles?

That'd be lovely.

Carole: Have you gone for a ride yet?

We're still trying to sort out an appropriate horse.

Lisa: I thought you were going to ride Willow.

Garnet would be far more suitable.

What's wrong with Willow?

He's just a common cross-breed.

Lisa: I've seen Willow's papers.

He's got a good bloodline.

Veronica: Yeah. But he rides like a hack.

He rides just as good as Garnet,

and he's got a bit of spirit.

As if you would know.

See this is the type of ignorance

I have to put up with all the time.

Carole: We're going for a ride soon, Samantha.

Want to come with us?

I'd be delighted.

I'll get Garnet ready.

No, no, I'll take Willow.

I like a horse with spirit.

[Scanner whirs]

How long will you be?

As long as it takes.

Proving Garnet's superiority over Willow

shouldn't take long at all.

Can a computer do that?

Yes, you just scan a photo in

to a website called "Horsocrats",

and it analyzes the conformation et cetera.

Then it tells you who the aristocrat is.

That's pretty smart.

Yes, just as I thought,

Garnet gets a score of 94 out of a hundred,

and Willow gets...

oh, dear...83.

I must let Samantha know.

Why don't people listen to me?

I'm always right.

We should scan in a photo of Trouble.

Hey, yeah.

[Scanner whirring]

Veronica: Mrs. Reg,

may I make a suggestion?

I think we should cancel that silly competition

and replace it with dressage.

Why's that?

Samantha despises kiddie stuff.

I mean, the egg and spoon race, please.

The Pine Hollow Fun Day

is a time-honored tradition.

I am not going to replace it with dressage.

But what is Samantha going to think of us?

Veronica, Samantha is an ordinary girl like you.

She's been to the Royal Enclosure at Ascot.

She's met the queen.

Then I'm sure her majesty would be very pleased

to hear about the Pine Hollow egg and spoon race

next time they're chatting.

[Mutters]

Sam: Completely different from Europe.

Carole: We like it. It's so far away from everything.

Lisa: And wild.

Stevie: Hey, speaking of wild...

you done any rough-riding, Sam?

Rough-riding is...

Going flat out, straight ahead through the woods.

Like this...yee-ha!

Wait for me, Stevie.

Oh, dear...

I wonder what Veronica would say.

So juvenile. So very juvenile.

[Trouble whimpers]

Melanie: This is huge.

Bigger than The Wiggles.

[Grunts]

We should have been treating him better.

Veronica: Have you seen Samantha?

Ah, I suppose she's still out with the Saddle Club.

Desi, I really think you should start

paying a little bit more attention to our guest

instead of playing juvenile games with a boy.

Stop being so stuck-up.

Jess: Veronica...

thanks for telling us about that website.

Melanie: Trouble is an aristocrat.

He is a Castilian grey,

the rarest bloodline in the world.

Wow! That's amazing.

Veronica: If it's true.

The website recognized his conformation straight away.

There's one way to find out for sure.

How?

A blood test will analyze his DNA.

What's DNA?

Donkey...ness... analysis?

Does it matter? Let's go.

Thank heavens, Samantha wasn't there to see that.

Jess: Mrs. Reg! Mrs. Reg!

Can we get a blood test for Trouble?

It's really, really important.

Yeah. Hang on...

We think Trouble is a Castilian grey.

They're aristocrats.

But we want to find out for sure.

Blood tests are very expensive.

Both: We'll pay.

Then you're in luck. The vet's coming this afternoon.

Both: Yes!

[Girls chattering]

[Horses neigh]

What on Earth do they find to talk about?

Just stuff, I suppose.

Stuff?

Just ordinary stuff.

But Samantha is not ordinary.

Don't you think you're taking this aristocracy thing

a bit too far?

Veronica, Veronica.

We'll be Sam's servants.

It's Samantha. Whatever.

But we won't work for two bucks.

Okay. Five dollars.

An hour? Each?

Done.

Jess: Please let us untack Willow for you.

It's all right.

Melanie: We insist.

Jess: Just relax and take it easy, your ladyship.

Melanie: Can we get you anything?

Jess: A cool drink perhaps?

Carole: A good trick is to wait until your reins are slack

before moving on.

Okay.

Gee, Desi,

Veronica's kind of dropped you since Sam landed.

Yeah, I just can't match that breeding thing.

Where is Sam anyway?

More rough riding with Stevie.

Veronica wouldn't approve.

Now what?

You have to sit on it before starting back.

Pine Hollow tradition.

Veronica definitely wouldn't approve.

Don't just sit there. Lead Midnight around.

Oh, right.

[Girls giggle]

What a blast that was!

How dare you!

Who said you could take Garnet out?

But I... Only a rough-riding cowboy

with no respect for their horse would do this.

But I...

You're pathetic.

Sam: Veronica...

I took Garnet out today

since you offered.

But I won't be riding her again.

Willow was much better yesterday.

And please don't scream at Stevie like that.

She's my friend.

[Horses neigh]

Jess: Has it arrived?

Yes, yes it's here.

[Trouble grunts]

Melanie: What does it say?

Jess: Oh, come on Mrs. Reg.

It's very technical.

Is he a Castilian grey?

Well. Yes, he is. But...

Jess: But what?

"This donkey has genes from the Aragon line."

And that's good, right?

Mmm-hmm.

"Descending from the royal donkeys

of the Court of Aragon."

So Trouble is like a king?

Or a prince at the very least.

We guessed it.

And now it's official.

Hey.

Hey.

Samantha not around?

Ask the Saddle Bags.

I thought she was better than this.

It's not a case of better.

With her background,

I thought we'd be friends.

You know I'm your friend,

but sometimes I think you get too hung up on appearances.

Appearances are skin-deep.

It's what's inside that matters.

[Troubles brays]

Guess what!

Trouble is of royal blood!

Mrs. Reg has just given us the DNA results.

Trouble's a real prince!

That's great.

Yeah. But he's still a donkey.

You're just jealous, Veronica.

Hey, what if there's two Askew families--

and Samantha is from the other one.

Give her a blood test.

That'll tell you.

Or better still,

show her you're the real royalty around here

by winning the Fun Day.

Will you be my partner?

There's somebody better than me.

Hi, Simon.

Oh, hi.

I've have a favor to ask.

Can I be your partner in the fun day?

So you want me to make a coat of arms?

Yeah.

Isn't that what it's called?

It should be made of gold.

Of course.

Where are we gonna get gold from?

Ask Max.

I can't see Max throwing gold in Trouble's direction

any time soon.

[Trouble grunting]

Do you think a prince would make that much noise eating?

Mmm. Do you think he knows he's a prince?

I'll tell you what,

maybe we should make him a crown.

Then he would know.

Jess: Hey, yeah.

And we could have a coronation.

Yeah!

[Trouble brays]

No, don't put your thumb on it.

It's impossible.

[Small gasp]

Sorry.

I'll never get it.

I dropped heaps to start with.

I usually pick things up faster than this.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

I won't.

Let's do it.

[Neighs]

Egg-cellent.

[Laughs]

Melanie: Thank you, everyone, for attending

this very special occasion.

[Trouble whimpers]

And thank you, Jack,

for the lovely crown.

No expense was spared.

And that baking foil doesn't come cheap.

Both: We crown you Trouble the First.

[Trouble whimpers]

Max: At last...

a leader we can be proud of.

Maybe he doesn't want to be king.

Maybe we're just doing it wrong.

Mrs. Reg: Ha ha! Maybe he's a republican.

Or maybe he's just hungry.

Simon!

Looking good.

Don't want to let the side down.

[Ahem]

[Cheering and applauding]

[Horses neigh]

On your marks...

ready...set...

go!

[Crowd cheers]

[Groans]

Come on, Prancer.

I don't suppose they have these at Buckingham Palace.

Simon: Good job, Veronica!

Max: Desi, rosettes please.

Thank you.

Mrs. Reg: Congratulations, everyone.

You've all done really well,

but of course only one team can win.

Now this is made doubly difficult by the fact

that there was a dead heat.

Veronica and Simon tied

with Stevie and Samantha.

[Crowd applauds]

My fellow judges and I have agreed

that perfect grooming is the deciding factor.

Veronica, Simon,

please come forward and get your rosettes.

[Crowd applauds]

Congratulations, Veronica.

Thank you.

Well done, Simon.

[Crowd applauds]

Being royal is a drag.

Total drag.

Trouble's happier being plain old Trouble.

Maybe kings and queens and stuff

only works back in the past.

Hey, yeah. Let's forget about the past.

Okay, Trouble, choose.

The past...

Or popcorn?

Popcorn wins.

[Brays]

Veronica: I was wondering, Simon,

are you related to the Athertons of Kensington?

Nah, not even close.

Just give it up, Veronica.

Sam.

The next time you want to go rough-riding,

call me, okay?

It's a deal.

Samantha: Veronica,

So are you settling locally then, Samantha?

My parents have bought in Smithville.

Oh. How nice for you all.

It's been...

The pleasure was all mine.

Bye, everybody.

See you. See you. Bye.

Smithville... oh, dear.

[Horse neighs]

♪ Look at you standing there ♪

♪ Get over yourself I don't care ♪

♪ Excuse me for speaking my mind ♪

♪ Please you are just wasting my time ♪

Both: ♪ I can't stand your style ♪

♪ You couldn't walk a mile in my shoes ♪

♪ Take a look at what you wish you could be ♪

♪ The only thing I wish for is to be me ♪

♪ Little Miss Stuck-up, listen to this ♪

♪ Before you do, don't call me Miss ♪

♪ I saw you wearing that two days ago ♪

♪ To take so much notice ♪

♪ Now that is low

Both: ♪ I can't stand your style ♪

♪ You couldn't walk a mile in my shoes ♪

♪ Take a look at what you wish you could be ♪

♪ The only thing I wish for is to be me ♪

♪ Cherry cola lip gloss ♪

♪ That's all mine

♪ You're just jealous

♪ because on me it looks fine ♪

♪ Your Louis Vitton bag you claim to be real ♪

♪ I won't tell your natural color ♪

♪ You've got a deal

♪ My shoe collection is seventy pairs ♪

♪ Let's have a look ♪ Yeah

♪ You want to share

♪ My father's a millionaire ♪

♪ So is mine

♪ My horse is a champion ♪

♪ Mine's one of a kind ♪

Both: ♪ I kind of like your style

♪ You can borrow my shoes for a while ♪

♪ Take a look at the next big thing ♪

♪ You and me unstoppable

♪ Like you've never seen

♪ I kind of like your style

♪ You can borrow my shoes for a while ♪

♪ Take a look at the next big thing ♪

♪ You and me unstoppable

♪ Like you've never seen

♪ I kind of like your style

♪ You can borrow my shoes for a while ♪

♪ Take a look at the next big thing ♪

♪ You and me unstoppable

♪ Like you've never seen