02x21 - Not with My Client You Don't

[bunniefuu]

♪ There is more to life
than what you're living

♪ So take a chance
and face the wind

♪ An open road
and a road that's hidden

♪ Brand new life
around the bend

♪ There were times
I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail
and at the end was you

♪ There's a path you take
and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you
my friend

♪ Nights are long
but you might awaken

♪ To a brand new life

♪ Brand new life

♪ Brand new life
around the bend ♪

-It's down the hall
to the right.

I'm just practicing.

I'm going to land this
Pescher perfume account,

and it's going to put
Wallace and McQuade
on the international map.

Of course, that means
I'll have to go to Paris

probably in April,

when all those trees
are in bloom.

Oh, I'll have to go
and keep your beret clean.

Hey, can I go, too?

You can't go to France
until you finish your oatmeal.

Forget it.

Hey, when Mr. Pescher
comes over tonight

you think he'll bring me
some free perfume samples?

Samantha, you think when
Lee Iacocca comes over

he brings a Chrysler?

I'll give you a sample. Here.

-Oh.
-How's that?

-I've got the richest neck
in school!

Good morning, everyone.

Oh, something
smells wonderful.

Thank you, Mother.

Ah, here it is.

May I?

Go right ahead, Mona.

Oh, Mona, hey, when a guy
nibbles on your ears,

he gets his money's worth.

-Yeah, some even
ask for seconds.
-Oh.

Mm, I have to get going.
How do I look?

Remember, this man
is used to being surrounded

by the most glamorous
women in the world.

Well, you have nothing
to worry about, darling.

I'll be here
for dinner tonight.

This is the single most
important client

that Wallace & McQuade
has ever pitched.

Ten million dollars.

-I want this presentation
to be flawless.
-Uh-huh.

-Got the marketing plan?
-Yep.

-And the media report?
-You got it.

-Howie, is that
art work ready?
-Oh.

Is that meeting today?

Howie!

I'm only kidding, Angela.
Just want to get
your adrenaline flowing.

You did. You're fired.

What?

Just kidding, Howie.

Talk about adrenaline.

I'm going to go
change my pants.

Angela, what arrangements
have you made

to assure that
Mr. Pescher enjoys his stay?

I booked him at the best suite
at the best hotel in town.

I have filled it
with fruit baskets,

flowers and
Dom Perignon, 1975.

I put a limousine
at his disposal

and got him front row seats
to the hottest shows in town.

That's it?

Angela, this is an
important client.

We should anticipate
his every need and desire

if you catch my drift.

No, Jim, I don't.

Well, you know, big city,

lonely man,

lonely French man.

Jim, if you are suggesting
a hooker...

Oh, hooker is
such a crass word.

Call girl has a nice
ring to it.

Call it what you like.
I'm not hiring one.

I am taking Mr. Pescher
home with me.

Wow. Angela.

For dinner with my mother
and the kids.

Oh, talk about
life in the fast lane.

I'm handling this
account my way.

With integrity and honor.

Not...

Yuckiness!

Excuse me.
I'm looking for Angela Bower.

Yes, I'm Angela Bower.

Oh, I'm Genevieve Pescher
from Pescher Fragrances.

You... You're a woman.

So are you.

Yes, I guess
that makes two of us.

Hello. Welcome,
so nice to see you.

Jim Peterson,
Executive Vice President,

in charge of most everything.

That she's not in charge of.

I'm sorry
I'm a little surprised.

I was expecting
monsieur Pescher.

Oh, Papa was summoned to a
meeting with King Hussein.

Oh, yes of course,
I know how that is.

But you needn't be
disappointed.

My signature is all you need
if we decide to go
with your firm.

Oh, mademoiselle Pescher,
we're not disappointed at all.

We're delighted
your father isn't here.

My,

what an unusual calendar.

Yes. I thought we agreed
you'd keep that in your desk.

It seems like such a waste.

Tony cleans with manly power

for Ad-Exec Angela Bower.
Oh, he's yours.

Well, yes, he works for me.

He's my housekeeper.

My mother had those calendars
made for a local charity.

GENEVIEVE: What
a magnificent...

...poem.

I was just congratulating
Angela on her brilliant idea

of having you to her home
for dinner tonight.

Yes, I thought since
you travel so much

that you'd enjoy
a home-cooked meal.

And, and Tony
is a superb cook.

Lovely! I'm a superb eater.

Good. Anything you need
while you're here,
you just let me know.

Well, as a matter of fact,
while I'm in town,
I could use an office.

You got it.

And I also could use
some secretarial help.

No problem.

And I also would like to have
your housekeeper for a night.

I beg your pardon?

Well, I have this dreary
party to go to

at the Embassy tomorrow night
and I need an escort.

Oh, an escort.

Well, I'm not sure what Tony
has planned for tomorrow.

But, I'm sure he'd love to.

Let's go into my office
and talk perfume.

Oh, you speak French?

Oui.

Two cups of coffee and
a French-English dictionary.

Oh, Tony,

those hors d'oeuvres
are a work of art.

Get your hand off there.

Mona, come on, it took me
all day to make those.

But if I don't eat them now,
the guest will get them.

That's the idea, Mona.

MONA: Oh.

SAMANTHA: Hi, Dad.

-JONATHAN: Hi, Tony.

Hey, hey, don't sit on the...

Couch. Get off the couch.

All right.
That means you, too, bub.

Go dig up a rose bush.

All right come on kids.
Upstairs, get ready for
dinner. Come on, guys.

Let's go, let's go.

Hey, this is a very
important account.

I want everything
to be just perfect.

Relax, Tony.
Everything is perfect.

Oh, no, not my hors d'oeuvre.

Well, I told you
they looked good.

Would you like
a little champagne
to wash that down with, sir?

All right, come on,
come on, come on. Get out.

Let's go, get out.

Get. Get. Get out, you.
You want a doggy bag?

What am I gonna do now, Mona?

Well, perhaps Monsieur Pescher
likes kibble?

Hello, I'm home!

Hello, darling.

How did your day go today
with Monsieur Pescher?

Well, he sent
his daughter instead.

Guess what?

She's going to take Tony
to the French Embassy
tomorrow night.

Oh, how exciting!

I wonder why
he didn't mention it.

Well, maybe it's because
he doesn't know.

You fixed Tony up with a date
without even asking him?

Well, it's not really so much
a date as it is

two people going out and
spending an evening together.

How nice of you to offer Tony.

I mean, it's so much
more personal
than just renting a guy.

Mother, he'll be thrilled.

-It's very exciting.
-Oh, yeah?

For whom? Tony or your
board of directors?

He'll leap at the chance.

And you help me
talk him into it.

Tony, guess what?

Monsieur Pescher isn't
coming after all.

Oh, Angela.

His daughter
is coming instead.

Thanks a lot, Angela.

And you're going to take her
to the French Embassy
tomorrow night.

Oh, she, she needs a driver?

An escort.

An escort? You mean,
like in a blind date?

No, it is not like
a blind date at all.

Explain it to him, Angela.

It's not like a blind
date at all.

She knows what you look like.
She's seen your picture
in the office.

Ha-ha, yeah well,
what I look like isn't
what I'm worried about.

What does she look like?

Oh, she's elegant
and sophisticated.

She's French.

So are poodles.

But how many poodles have
ten million dollar accounts?

No, seriously, Angela,
what kind a girl is she?

Well, I wouldn't exactly call
her a girl. She's a woman.

Is she a Raquel Welch woman
or a Mother Teresa woman?

Whatever you're thinking,
you're wrong.

She's beautiful, she's elegant

and she's got
a great personality.

Oh, oh.

That's it.

That's it. That's the kiss
of death.

Oh, the last time I heard that
was Lois Iazino.

Ooh, she had to sneak up
on a glass of water.

I thought this would be
fun for you.

and then I'm going to
clean up.

What about tomorrow night?

I'm washing my hair.

Bonsoir, I'm
Genevieve Pescher.

Hi, I'm Tony Miceili.

I'm your date
for tomorrow night.

TONY: I'm ready.

Well, everything matches.

No, wait, wait, wait.

Wait a second.
I want to take a look at you.

Oh, me, too.

Sure, you do, ladies.
They all do.

You'll have to take
a number though.

Just remember,
if there are three forks,

the big one is for the meat,

the medium one
is for the salad...

And the little one's
for poking the waiter

-if he's not fast enough.
-Tony!

I've got to go.
I've got to gas up my van.

You're taking the van?

Yeah, well, you know.
My white stretch limo
is in the shop.

Well, I, I thought
a cab, or...

You're giving me the keys
to the Jag?

-Here.
-Oh.

Angela, I think in order
to give me the keys,

you got to let them go.

Oh, right.

You want me to mark down all
the scratches before I leave?

She's already done that.

Tony, you are going to dazzle
the diplomats.

Get back.

Oh, and if you should run
into Mayor Koch,

tell him we'll always
have Albany.

Au revoir.

Just remember, I'm going to be
waiting up for a full report.

Well, you might have
a long wait.

What is that supposed to mean?

Angela, don't be so naive.

What do you think Genevieve

has in mind
for this evening, hmm?

Mother, you read sex
into everything.

Well, that's not exactly
the fine print.

Mother, they are going
to the Embassy.

They are going to eat
rubbery chicken

with the proper fork
and leave.

Oh, sure. And afterwards
they're going to the
malt shop for a shake.

Oh, not too shabby.

Well, I'll tell you this sure
beats camping out, huh?

Wouldn't anything?

Hey, that was some
classy party, huh?

Must have been 200 people
there. Not one fight.

-What were you and Henry
Kissinger huddled about?
-Ah.

He just wanted my recipe
for sausage and peppers.

Well, I had a wonderful time.

Nobody has ever taken me

on a guided tour
of Brooklyn before.

I've never seen
so many laundromats.

We may not be jet setters,
but we're clean.

Well, thank you
for taking me there.

Well, I wanted you to see
the real New York.

I mean, besides, I mean
I've got a red Jaguar.

I got somebody
who looks like you,

you think I'm not going to
take a quick spin through
the old neighborhood?

Well, if you wanted to impress
them, we could have
used my limousine.

Yeah, yeah, but you know
with those tinted windows,

nobody would have know
it was me back there.

Yes, it was so much better
driving down Pitkin Avenue

with your head out the sunroof
and steering with your feet.

I seen it in a movie.

-Hey, let's not tell Angela
though, okay?
-Okay.

You know, I really, I really
had a great night.

Well, who says that it's over?

Oh, my God,
the Jaguar's been stolen!

It's not in the driveway!

No, no, Mother. Tony has it.

What?

It's 1 o'clock in the morning!

Where could he be?

What could he be doing?

I know, he found an
afterhours malt shop.

Mother, just because it's late
doesn't mean that Tony is...

Well, after all,
you're just coming in,
I'm sure you weren't...

Well, I'm sure Tony isn't.

Angela, take
the blinders off, hmm?

You sent Tony out
to land this account

and right about now I'd say
they're lighting up the runway

and lowering the landing gear.

Mother, I didn't send him out
to land this account.

Oh really? Then what did you
send him out to do?

Yup.

Oh, Mother, what have I done?

I've compromised another
human being

for my own personal gain.

Yeah, Tony.

Oh.

I should get
a wide-brimmed fedora

and buy a pink Eldorado.

Mother, do you know
what I really am?

-A brunette?
-Mother!

That's not funny.

Yes it is.

I've never danced
in French before.

Oh.

Very nice.

French dip.

You know, I never knew
somebody you know,

so rich and so famous
could be so much fun.

You should see Queen Elizabeth
after a couple of beers.

She drinks?

You know what I like
about you, Tony?

What?

Everything.

All right!

♪ Tonight, tonight...

Must be room service.

What do you tip a guy
in a place like this?

Am I too late?

You're not room service.

What are you doing here,
Angela?

Correcting a grievous wrong.

Well, could you do it in 914?

I tell you what,

come back in 20 minutes,
make it 30, 45 tops.

Unless, unless there's
a necktie on the door,

then go home.

Where's Genevieve?

She's slipping into
something French.

Then I got here just in time.

Look Tony, I think you may
have gotten the impression

when you went out
this evening that I wanted
you to be nice to

Genevieve to help me
land this account.

I'll be nice. I'll be so nice.

It's wrong for me
to use you like this.

Oh, Angela, I mean,
who are we to judge?

Right, wrong,
it's a fuzzy area.

I was blinded by a ten million
dollar account.

I can't let you
sacrifice yourself.

Angela, I've sacrificed
myself for a lot less,

sometimes for nothing.
For nothing.

Sometimes it even cost me
dinner and a movie.

Voila!

Angela, what are you
doing here?

She's correcting a grievous
wrong by leaving. Come on.

Genevieve,

ever since I've gotten
into advertising

I've dreamed of landing
an account like yours.

I wanted it so much that I was
willing to give you anything.

I suppose I should've stopped
at the flowers and the

fruit and Dorn Perignon.

This is an honorable man.

Honorable?

I don't understand
what you're talking about.

What is...

I...

I don't want your account.

Not if I have to
get it like this.

But Angela, what is...

Wait, wait, wait.
I don't understand either.
Wait a minute.

Genevieve, could you,
could you just
excuse us for a second?

Angela and I,
we have to have a...

Tete-a-tete?

No, nothing like that.

We're just going to talk.

Angela, what are you doing?

Tony, please...

Angela, look how hard
you worked for this.

Look how hard.

I mean, I mean,
what about putting

Wallace and McQuade
on the international map?

And going to Paris
when them trees
are blooming or something?

Well, you've seen one
Eiffel tower,

you've seen them all.

Angela, you're giving up
ten million dollars for me?

Well, our commission's
only 10%.

Yeah, well I mean,
what's a crummy million?

Excuse me,
this is all very touching,

but you're not
giving up anything.

You already have the account.
I decided that.

I do?

Tony has nothing
to do with it.

I don't?

We French never mix
business with pleasure.

So, if you'll excuse me,
I'll go to bed.

I think I can still catch
the end of David Letterman.

No, wait a minute.

I should be the one to leave
the two of you.

Oh, no, no, I could never come
between two people

who care about each other
like you do.

But I told you
there's nothing between us.

Uh, that's what you say,

but we French we understand
about .

The affairs of the heart.

Although, this one
I'm a little confused about.

I don't know.

Hey, come on, Angela.

Let's go get a beer
and a pizza, huh?

I know this great place
over in Brooklyn.

Eh, it's right next to
an all-night laundromat.

TONY: Who's the Boss?
will be back in a moment.
Stick around.

No, no, Doctor Kissinger,

I think that's
the wrong approach.

Yeah. First, you brown
the sausages, then you
add the peppers.

Sure, you got to think
of them as peacefully
co-existing.

Yeah, all right,
don't worry about it.

Call me back later and
let me know how it turns out,
okay?

Bye, bye buddy.

What's the matter
with this guy?

He can't even cook
a simple meal?

h*, hey, hey, h*, Samantha.

Everybody's got
their strengths.

I probably would have
messed up the Middle East.

Hi everyone.

Hey, h*, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

This is my Pescher for Men.

This is expensive stuff.
You used half the bottle here.

Uh-huh. I just used a little.

Grover used the rest.

Grover?

This stuff really works.