03x08 - Momma's Baby, Martin's Maybe

[bunniefuu]

♪ Lawrence ♪♪

We're going in three minutes,

Pam, they should be here by now.

Hope martin got to the airport on time.

You shouldn't let your mother stress you out like this.

You're right. I'm a grownup, right?

I'm a grown woman.

Mother-in-law's in the house!

Mommy! Mommy!

Ooh!

Aww!

How's my little shnookum-wookums?

I am so glad to see you!

I've missed you so much!

Oh, well, I missed you, too.

Oh, you wasn't talkin' to me.

Well, I'll let you get reacquainted.

I'll just go and feed the billy goat.

Come on, gabby.

I got a tin can in the kitchen.

Stupid!

It's nice to see you again, mrs. Waters.

Oh, you, too, pamela.

Now, where shall I put my things?

Uh-uh. You put those things down.

Give me those.

We got you all set up in the bedroom,

Where you'll be sleepin'

With your sweet mother-in-law self.

Let me stand back and look at you.

Both of you, look at you.

We are family!

Oh, thank you, martin.

Well, you certainly have fixed up

The little love nest, shall we say.

Mommy, it's not like that.

Who are you kidding, child? Please.

Mrs. Waters, I know you're used to the best,

So we intend on making this

Just like motel for ya.

Ha ha!

Y know I got a little jokey-joke for the mother-in-law.

Oh, thank you, martin. You're such a gentleman.

Well, thank you.

Hey, y'all!

Hey! Uh...

Uh, mrs. Waters, this--this, uh...

Th-this is my best friend

Reverend...tommy strawn.

Wh-what--what?

Yeah. This here's-- don't be embarrassed, rev.

This is, uh, mrs. Waters, gina's mother.

Uh-huh, and you're a reverend, ain't ya, boy?

What was the good word for today?

What are you talkin' about?

The good word! To bless on!

Oh!

The good-- god bless you, ma'am.

Yes.

Uh, well...

Er, uh...

Let us pray!

You know, it's so wonderful...

Ahh...

To be...gathered here...

On this joyous occasion...

♪ You don't hear my cryin' ♪

♪ The coming of mrs. Waters ♪

Amen!

♪ And I heard ♪

♪ In the sermon ♪

♪ From jodeci to the philistines ♪

♪ Brother avanti say ♪

Amen!

Aaamen!

♪ He's been feelin' ♪

Aamen!

I said, in the psalm.

Amen in the psalm.

♪ Amen ♪

A-amen.

♪ Amen ♪♪

Hah!

O.k., Uh, reverend,

Don't you got a wedding to perform this evening?

Yeah, yeah.

And take your best man with you.

Nice to meet you, mrs. Waters.

May the lord watch between me--

You cut the sacred benediction!

So, what have you kids been doing with yourselves?

Uh, well, we just been coolin', you know.

Uh, we, uh, you know,

Just planning for the big wedding day, that's all.

Make sure you plan well, martin.

Gina is our only baby.

We want the best for her.

Mommy, I already have the best.

Girl...

Ooh.

I should slob you down right now.

Wait. I'm sorry.

Shh!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I forgot your mother was right here.

I got to go to work.

Mrs. Waters, you make yourself comfortable, all right?

Let me get a look at you.

Aah!

Baby, walk me to the door?

Mom, get yourself something in the kitchen, o.k.?

Ooh, man!

How am I doing?

Fine, but why did you have to say tommy was a preacher?

I want her to tell your father everything's cool

So I won't have to whup his a*s.

He ain't here. Why are you mad?

Kiss me. Kiss.

It's o.k. All right.

Mrs. Waters! Ah! Mother-in-law!

Ah ha!

Bye-bye.

Gina, I have to confess,

Your father and I were worried

About this moving-in thing.

And?

And I feel silly.

Martin has really matured.

He's a wonderful man.

He's got a preacher for a friend,

And he's so nice to that pam.

Martin told me on the way over

That she was raised by wolves.

All right, let's go, people.

Yo, man, get off the phone.

This ain't dunkin' donuts.

We got work to do. Yeah.

Martin, there's a young man here to see you.

Whazzup? What's happenin', little brother?

Whazzup, martin?

His name is marvin.

He says he knows you.

Martin, don't let him touch anything.

We don't usually allow children on the set.

Oh, yeah. He knows ya.

Whazzup, little brother?

Man! You got a set of ears on you.

So what can I do for you?

I just wanted to meet you.

You're my hero. Hey. You the man.

Well, all right. Well, thank you.

Uh, what can I say?

Martin loves the kids.

What do you need? T-shirt? Autograph?

I was hoping you'd sign this for me.

Where'd you get this?

My mother.

Angie johnson is your mother?

You took her to the senior prom years ago.

Mom said y'all had a really good time that night.

Uh, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I, uh...

I remember.

I sprained my ankle on the dashboard

'Cause I had flipped it-- nah, I can't tell you that.

Uh...uh...

How old did you say you were?

.

Uh, give me a minute.

...carry a...uh...

Nah, nah, nah. It couldn't be.

Hey, man, this ain't no dunkin' donuts.

You got work to do. Thank you!

C-come on over here for a sec.

S-s-sit down.

Um...um...

Uh...

Uh...

O.k., Uh...

Um, when did you say your birthday was?

In march.

O.k. Hold on now.

The senior prom was in...

What, june.

So what you got, uh...

June, july...

Nine months later is what, uh...

March.

Whazzup? Whazzup? Whazzup?

Aw, damn.

[Door opens]

Gina.

Gina, baby, I got to talk to you.

Don't wake your mother.

Wait...uh...

Just let me check on her, baby.

Oh, gina, I got to tell you something.

Something happened to me today, baby.

I know you don't like to be woke up.

Just hold on.

I didn't know it was going to happen.

You got to promise you won't tell your mother about this.

I don't think her old wrinkled heart could take it.

Please, please, baby, I'm going to come--

I'm--i'm going to be a man

And come straight out and tell you

What's going on in my life.

Don't come up swingin', please?

Uh, gina...

I got me a -year-old son.

Aw, baby, no!

No, don't!

No!

I love you! I love you!

Oh, don't!

Oh! Oh, baby! Oh!

Martin!

Martin!

Martin!

Aw, damn.

Gina, I swear to you,

I didn't know until today.

Uh-huh. Just sowing your little wild oats everywhere.

Tell your mother my oats may be wild,

But they damn-sure ain't little.

Better tell her.

Not now, martin.

Gina, you are not ready to be

Some child's stepmother.

You're still a child yourself.

Get your things. I'll start the car.

Martin and I have to talk about this alone.

What you need to do is just leave him alone.

Now I know why they threw mama from the train.

Who's this boy's mother?

This girl named angie.

I took her to the senior prom.

One thing led to another.

Years later, I got a son.

I'm just as surprised as you.

Did you talk to this angie person?

I tried to call her, but she wasn't home.

I'm going over there tomorrow night.

Oh, no, no, no.

If anybody goes over there tomorrow night,

It's going to be us.

Us!

Look, gina, I hope you ain't mad at me...

No!

It ain't like I knew--

Martin, it's not like that, o.k.?

It just means

There's going to be a lot of changes for us.

Gina, you know I love you.

Don't nobody come before you, gina.

But I got to stand up to my responsibility.

I can't have no son without no father.

I ain't going out like that, gina.

All right.

All right, I understand. I really do.

Let me deal with my mother.

She's probably slicing up your drawers by now.

Mommy, no!

That'll be $., Money grip.

Aw, man, jim.

I been coming here, man, for what, years?

Give a brother a discount.

Boy, you better give me my $., Broke as I am.

Here. Here's your change.

Whoop. Forgot my tip.

Watch it now. Don't mess with the gratuities.

You sure that boy is yours?

I hate to see you get ganked.

Well, you better take care of him.

'Cause I takes care of all my kids.

Ask their mamas.

Yeah. If you knew how many you had.

Your bubble-head kids look like a dozen chocolate eggs

Walkin' down the street.

With noses, too.

Y'all are cold up in here.

Hey, hey, hey.

Here come my little man.

This is my little boy, my little soldier.

Everybody, check him out.

Whazzup?

Whazzup?

My little boy, come on in here.

Everybody, this is marvin.

Marvin, this is everybody, man.

This here is mr. Jim.

This is where I get all my bad habits.

Hey, shut up, boy.

Hmm.

Now, marvin, now look here.

You can't be hanging around here

Unless I can give you a nickname.

So by the powers rested in me...

I hereby name you...

Shortie doo wop!

[Everybody] shortie doo wop.

Marvin, I'm pretty pearl, the bootblack,

World renowned for talkin'

A whole lotta smickety-smack.

What's up, marvin? I'm tommy.

Tommy? Is that your barbershop name?

Nah. You got to have hair to have a nickname.

Uh-huh, yeah. I got your smickety-smack.

Now, marvin, next time you come here,

I'm gonna give you a free haircut

And a couple of slim jims.

I love this barbershop.

Come on, boy, get on by,

You talkin' you love the barbershop.

You only been here a minute.

I'm gonna take him on down

To the, you know, probably the shopping mall,

Probably pick up a few things.

All right!

Yeah, yeah. Look out!

He's just hollerin', like, "yeah! Yeah!"

He's a good kid.

Right there, that's my little boy.

That's, uh, what did you call him, shortie doo wop?

Shortie doo wop.

It's enough to make you proud.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, y'all come on back soon, hear?

Boy, don't never say nothing bad about them.

All them ears they got, they'll hear every damn thing.

This is great, martin.

Aw, gimme love.

Hey...where'd you learn that from?

That ain't nothin'. Watch this. Hey.

Aw, but watch this.

Yah yah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah!

Oh, boy!

Man!

I wonder why your mother never told me about you.

'Cause she's been busy raisin' me.

Now it's your turn.

All right, all right. O.k.

Well, uh, I guess I got to handle my business.

I'm gonna make a few calls, check my messages.

Make yourself at home.

Are you cool?

Yeah.

Yeah. You straight 'cause you cool?

Or you cool 'cause you straight? I dunno.

Ah, so you confused. Ahh-ha!

[Knocking on door]

Hey, marvin, get the door for me?

Whazzup with you?

My name's roscoe.

And if you're a burglar,

Openin' up the door was a dumb-a*s move.

I ain't no burglar. I'm marvin, martin's son.

Well, how come I ain't never seen you around here before?

I been with my mother, and I just found martin.

Why y'all up in my business?

What? I'm gonna tell you like it is.

Don't get dropped.

Don't get dropped. Straight up, pop.

Don't get dropped.

You know?

All I'm tryin' to say

Is that you lucky you found your father.

So don't ever lose touch with your father

'Cause father's, they important to a kid.

You got any money?

I have $..

Well, look, gina...

Gina still owes me for, uh,

The cookies that she ordered from me two years ago.

So, uh, give me the money...

Or else I'll take it from you.

You ain't getting my money.

Now get to steppin' and cut the corner.

What? You lucky I got a dice game to go to,

Or else I'd whup you and your father's a*s.

Or else I'd whup you and your father's a*s.

I'm not leaving martin. I love him.

Hey, gina.

Hey, honey.

How are you, mrs. Waters?

Mmmm!

Mmmm!

I was about to talk to marv and angie.

Want to roll with me?

Yeah. To meet angie? Most definitely.

When are we leaving?

We? [Knock on door]

Mommy?

We, we, we should be mindin' our business.

Damn.

Hi, martin. How you doing?

How are you doing, angie?

How are you doing?

How are you doing?

Hi. I'm gina waters, martin's fiancee.

And this is my mother. She got my back.

Hi, uh, mrs. Waters.

Charmed.

Angie, I was just coming to see you.

We got things to talk about.

Yeah. Come on over here, boy.

Come on.

You must be marvin.

Why don't y'all have a seat?

Uh, martin, marvin owes you an apology.

No. Marvin don't owe me no apology, angie.

I think you owe me the apology.

Martin--

After all these years,

You're just gonna come around here

And not even tell me I got children?

Peoples? Babies?

I mean, come on.

You're lucky my mother don't drop you.

Know what I'm saying?

Really, angie, you should have told martin

He had a son.

First of all, marvin is only years old.

And second of all, marvin is not your son.

What?

Marvin's father is being transferred to arizona

Because of his job.

Marvin, here, he don't want to leave detroit.

And that's what that's all about.

Uh-- [cough]

Hold up.

Hold up.

You mean this ain't my son,

And I spent all my damn money on shortie?

I'm sorry I lied to you, martin.

I just didn't want to go to arizona.

[Mimicking] I'm sorry I lied to you, martin.

I just didn't want to go to arizona.

How you gonna say I'm your hero,

And you lied to me?

Being somebody's father is serious business, marvin.

I thought we were cool, huh?

I thought we were crossin' 'em. Bow.

Huh? Bow!

Marvin, tell him why.

'Cause I never wanted to be like mike.

I wanted to be like martin.

Martin...can I keep my barbershop name?

Don't come at me with that little-kid stuff.

[Mimicking] martin, can I keep my barbershop name?

I don't know, marvin.

You lost some cool points with me, man.

All right, it ain't like you...

Kicked me in the back of the head

Or nothing like that.

I'll tell you what.

Go to arizona, and I'll check up on you there,

Give you a chance to earn it back.

Come on here, boy.

We're going home to deal with your realfather.

Uh...uh, uh, marvin.

You know they be trippin' in arizona, right?

And no matter what they tell you,

Martin luther king's birthday is a holiday.

Stay home.

You ain't got no more babies

I should know about, do you?

Then go on.

I am so proud of you.

Stepping up and accepting responsibility,

I like that in a future husband.

Martin, we only want what's right for gina.

And I was just looking out for her best interests,

But I must admit,

What you did was very commendable.

I really saw another side of you.

Be nice.

Yeah, yeah, and I saw another side of you, too,

When I climbed in that bed with you

The other night.

I don't wanna see it no more, o.k.?

I don't wanna...

O.k. All right.

Well, you know I was just messin' with you,

A little jokey-joke

With your little sweet mother-in-law self.

Ooh, good night.

All right.

Good night, shnookums.

Good night, mommy.

I'm going to bed.

You gonna be in there or out here?

I don't want to get the mix-up.

I got to ride for myself.

Aw, baby.

I got to tell you,

Your mother, she's all right.

Yeah, but, uh,

You're not gonna wind up lookin' like her in that gown

When you get older, are you?

I don't get no complaints at home!

That's 'cause he's hittin' that courvoisier.

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

Aw, baby!

Martin!

Not now!

Oh! Oh!

Get off me!

You was ridin' him!