03x20 - High Noon

[bunniefuu]

Oh, never.

So what did y'all think about the movie?

I liked it.

I loved it,

The way wesley jumped out of that plane,

Onto the blimp, then onto that other plane.

That was dope. Never saw anything like that.

Oh, pam, please.

Just last night I saw you jump over the moon.

Baby, I got her good on that one.

I got her good on that one.

You know, martin, your little smart remarks

Used to upset me,

But it's obvious that you're obsessed with me,

And that's how you express it.

Obsessed with you?

Pam, please.

Oh, yeah? O.k. All right.

Well, put your money where your big mouth is.

I bet you $

You can't go five minutes without cracking on me.

As long as I ain't got to look in your face,

I'm stray. Chips.

Well, let me in on that bet.

Me, too. I'm in on that.

Baby, that's what I'm talking about.

Look out for your man. See?

Um, actually, I'm betting on pam. Sorry.

Got to go with the odds.

So you in this, too.

That's right.

O.k. Go ahead. Do it.

We gonna start right now.

So, pam.

Hey, girl, how ya doing?

All right.

So what are you going to do tomorrow?

Tomorrow I was going to get my hair done,

But, you know, I changed my mind

Because it looks so good.

Don't you all agree?

O.k.

[Mumbling]

Was there something that you had to say,

Popcorn trip?

I didn't think so.

Then I got to go get my workout.

You know, keep my figure looking...

Tight.

Damn!

You know what, gina?

Yes, girl.

I got to have my apartment fumigated.

Somebody in my building has fleas.

I don't know how they got there.

I mean, could you tell me?

All right, I'll tell you!

It's you, muttley.

You the one with the damn fleas.

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

♪ Lawrence ♪♪

We're going in three minutes,

Martin, I don't want

Your funky bounced checks, man.

Give me the cash.

Woman, I'm good for it. It's only money.

I just win it back

By betting on you at the track.

[Telephone rings]

Y'all tripping. I'm serious.

Hello.

Yeah.

Who?

Um, excuse me. Could you please hold?

Yeah. Thank you.

Martin, it's the district attorney's office for you.

I'm in trouble.

Somebody call johnnie cochran and them.

Would you take this phone?

Take the phone.

O.k., Well, what did they say?

Let me think. Let me think. Let me think.

Let me think, baby.

Martin.

They make you wait for them.

Sometimes you got to make them wait.

Would you answer the phone?

Hello?

Yeah. Yeah.

Right. I understand. Right.

Hey, but, well, I ain't tripping.

Real. O.k. Later.

Ah ha!

Baby, what did they want?

Baby, they just called to let me know

That mad dog is up for parole.

Mad dog no good's up for parole already?

I thought they sentenced him to years.

Who's mad dog no good?

One of the most notorious gangsters

That detroit has ever seen.

Martin helped put him away about five years ago.

For what?

Oh, baby, he ran into my yugo.

Just so happens he was running away

From a bank robbery at the time.

Martin, you put a bank robber in prison?

I didn't put him in jail.

I was just trying to get my car fixed.

It wasn't because of me, baby.

I know that and you know that, martin.

The problem is does mad dog know that?

Now he's getting out?

No. No, baby. He's just up for parole.

As bad as he is,

They're not about to let mad dog out.

I don't believe they would do that,

Not the judicial system.

Dag. Mad dog no good.

I remember seeing his picture up in the post office

When I was younger.

What were you doing there, mcgruff?

What were you, taking a bite out of crime?

Thank you.

Thank you. I tell you, thank you.

Welcome back to word on the street.

And we're talking with two female body builders

Who say there ain't no more good men in the world.

We say it, and we mean it.

Pra-da!

She says, "we say it, and we mean it. Pra-da!"

Let me ask you a question.

Besides looking like karl malone,

What seems to be the problem?

We don't have a problem.

O.k.?

Whew.

All right, don't break me up.

You know, let's take it to the audience.

O.k., Women who could whoop your a*s--

What are your thoughts?

Yeah, what we're just saying is

Maybe y'all could get a man

If you didn't look like one.

I mean, you're probably packing more than I am.

Come on. You could tell us.

What size cup do y'all really wear?

It wouldn't take much to pack more than you.

You tell them. You tell them.

You don't even know what it takes

To be a man.

Slow your rolls, smoking joe.

O.k., Don't get me to flexing out here.

O.k.

Now, I'll tell you what it takes to be a man.

It takes standing up for justice.

Now, y'all know mad dog no good?

Yeah, y'all know him, don't you? Huh?

Say it! You know him!

Well, I went head-up with him.

That's right.

You went head-up with him?

Think I didn't?

The mad dog no good?

See ya.

Well, then run, you little punks.

I ain't afraid.

Not only did I take him down,

But I took him on.

Now, I'm going to bring it down for a minute,

And we're going to go to the caller.

Caller, are you there?

Martin...

Guess who this is.

It's your boy mad dog no good

Just watching your show.

Ha ha ha!

You remember me?

Yeah, I sure do.

Um, yeah, I remember you, mad dog.

Mad dog, let me ask you a question.

You still locked up, right?

Yeah.

Oh, sh**t. No problem.

What do you want to wrap about?

I called to let you know I'm getting out...

Today.

I'm coming to see you.

Oh, damn.

See ya.

[Dial tone]

You got to stop moving now.

I'm going to mess your hair up.

You're right, mr. Jim.

Crime in detroit ain't no joke.

Ain't nobody talking about no crime.

You're distracted, martin. What's on your mind?

You know, it's funny how the mysteries of life just unravel.

You come in the world butt-naked and alone,

And you liable to leave out that way.

What are you talking about?

Nothing, binoculars.

Look, I put a man in jail,

And today he's getting out for parole.

How long has he been in?

Five years.

Five years without a woman?

That man ain't thinking about you, man.

sh**t. You probably won't see him

For another five years.

You know what? You right, man.

What the hell am I tripping about?

He ain't thinking about me.

You right. You right.

You ain't got nothing to be afraid of.

Besides, you ain't no punk.

Somebody done told you right.

There's going to be a lot of slow singing

And flower bringing

If my burglar alarm starts ringing.

Know what I'm saying?

Talk about it, martin.

Look, any man who just got out of prison

Ain't looking to go back in.

Ain't nobody that crazy. You know?

Word is bond.

All right.

Hey, buckwhite, you ain't lying, man.

I don't even care even if it is

Mad dog no good.

Mad dog no good?

Well, what...

You ain't said nothing about no mad dog.

Mad dog is out?

Yeah.

Wait, but he's only up for parole, mr. Jim.

He's not going to come looking for me.

Oh, he's coming.

Mad dog don't forget a thing.

That's the same guy who got the doctor

Who smacked him when he was born.

Oh, damn. But ain't nothing going to happen to me

As long as I stay close to my friends.

If you can find some.

Lock up, will you?

I don't know what they all afraid of?

You don't?

Huh?

Man, I say you don't?

Hell no!

No reason to be scared of a sad dog.

No, man. I didn't say sad dog.

I said mad dog.

Mad dog?

Mad dog coming?

Got to go.

I might need this.

Oh, man. That's it. I'm out.

Come on, baby. I'm ready to go.

Y'all don't have to leave now, do you?

Baby, let's put on a movie.

Put on house party or something, baby, please?

Bye-bye.

All right, fine. Fine.

We don't have to watch a movie.

We can just sit and talk.

Come on, y'all. Let's just talk.

Can we talk, please?

Come on, y'all. Have a seat, please?

Uh...

Yeah, so, uh...

You know, a lot going on in the world.

Sure is.

So what y'all been up to?

Well, let's see. We were here last night

Watching the first five house party's.

And then we came over early this morning

To eat your nasty little breakfast.

Please, don't blame me for it.

You the one that laid the rotten egg.

You ain't fooling nobody, martin.

You just scared that mad dog is coming to get you.

Well, all right, fine.

Maybe I am a little scared, pam, o.k.?

Everybody's not like tommy.

I don't have a pit bull to protect me.

That's it. I'm leaving, martin.

Can't believe y'all going to run out on us.

Let them go! Let them go, baby!

We ain't afraid of nothing!

[Popping]

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Down! Down! Down!

Go see what it is.

I know, baby. Keep your head down.

[Beep beep]

Oh. My bag.

It's just my popcorn.

Boy! You telling me...

I got to...

What the hell you popping popcorn for, man?

It's my dinner.

Let's just get out of here.

Can't believe I'll going to leave martin like this.

Martin's been there for you.

I'm sorry. I didn't know you needed our help.

I thought mighty mouse had special powers.

Sit down!

Damn it! I said sit down!

Sit down.

Ain't nobody going nowhere.

Get the stand.

That's right. Y'all got to stay.

You are tripping!

[Telephone rings]

What is...

[Ring]

Baby, could be mad dog.

Could be.

[Ring]

Well, get the phone, man.

What, are you scared?

No, I'm not scared.

Back up off me and stop breathing right here.

[Ring]

The number you have reached,

...

Hello, mad dog?

Put him on the speaker.

Oh. Excuse me.

There.

Move.

I'm coming over.

We've got some unfinished business.

I got to tell you something.

Wait, mad dog.

You let me tell you something.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll meet you down at nipsey's,

Midnight.

Would that be cool?

Solid.

All right, well, it's solid.

You're only going to get like, uh...

Five minutes of my time, and that's about it.

Ha ha ha!

That's all the time I need.

[Dial tone]

Oh, damn.

Baby!

Why are you meeting him at nipsey's?

Because I don't want innocent people to get hurt.

There's plenty of innocent people down at nipsey's.

Damn it, tommy! I'm talking about me!

It is so sweet of you

To come down here and support martin.

Pam, thank you for coming.

Girl, please, and miss a chance

To see martin get his a*s whooped?

Wish I could see it on pay-per-view.

So where's martin, anyway?

Knowing martin, he probably paid somebody to be him.

Please. Martin would never do that.

He'll be here any minute.

Whazzup? Whazzup?

Whazzup?

Man, who are you?

Martin payne, boydilocks. Ahh!

Now, which one of you broads be gina?

I be.

Ahh! Excuse me.

Baby, give me that luscious!

Give me that luscious!

Give me that luscious!

What the hell you doing, man?

What you mean what the hell I'm doing?

I'm being you, man.

That's what you paid me to do.

Now, poofball, be gone.

Give me that luscious!

Get your a*s up out the thing.

What's wrong with him? Man, I don't know.

Oh, man. You know what?

What am I thinking about?

Have I forgotten who I am?

If I'm going out, I'm going out with these

Because I'm a bad man.

I'm a bad man.

Look, you don't have anything to worry about.

He won't try anything in front of all these people.

Mad dog's coming!

I said mad dog's a-coming!

Run for your lives!

Look, we got your back, man, all right.

That's right.

That's right. I got this.

Yeah, good. Best of luck to you.

You the man.

Martin!

Be out. Got to go.

You need us, we'll be right back here.

Whazzup?

Martin, is that you?

Damn right it's me, mad dog.

Ouch. Ouch.

So, whazzup, man?

I mean, what...

Whazzup, mad dog?

What you want to do, man?

Look, man.

I waited a long time...

Yeah. Yeah.

To come here and thank you

For the five long, hard years in prison.

[Gulp]

I waited a long time...

To tell you I'm...

Look, I'm sorry

About the five long, hard years of prison.

You did the crime,

And I guess you had to do the damn time.

Go ahead, baby!

You right, baby. You right.

So whazzup? What you want to do?

Bring on the noise.

Bring on the noise.

All right. All right.

I go here.

Damn it. I said I go here.

Flip it around, I bring it back, I go here again.

Oh, damn.

For all you do, this bud's for you.

Look, I've got something to say to you.

Let me say something to you, man.

Let me just break it down to you.

You tell me what the hell

Was I supposed to do, man?

You hit my car and ran.

My premium went sky-high.

Insurance people don't want to hear it, man.

Don't you know that a hit-and-run in america

Is ill*gal, man?

Yo, man! Relax!

I'm trying to tell you something.

I said relax.

I'm chilling.

Now, look, look. Just cool, o.k.

I just got something to say to you.

Now, when I was incarcerated,

I had a lot of time

To think about some things.

And, well, because of you,

I turned my whole life around, man.

And I owe it all to you.

Oh, man.

Don't cry, man.

I get you crying like me,

And you get a little emotional like me, too.

Hey! Oh!

I guess you ain't been out long enough,

So you don't want no hugs.

What you going to do now then, mad dog?

I'm going to make some money the right way.

I'm a florist.

What you talking about, mad dog?

I'm talking about I specialize in tropical arrangements.

If you need something special around the holidays,

Just give me a call--

Mother's day, valentine's day, whatever.

Do you do weddings?

Of course I do weddings, baby.

Here's my card.

Thank you.

This is nice.

You know what? Let me step back.

Mad dog, brother, I just want to thank you.

Man, I want to thank you for listening.

Thank you, brother. Thank you.

All right.

Bye, mad dog.

Ruff.

Ruff.

Oh, my, baby. I am so glad that's over.

Yeah, baby.

You did good, martin.

Yeah, standing up to a florist

Really took a lot of guts.

I'm just glad mad dog's back on the right track.

[Man] get out of my way, shorty.

[Mad dog] you calling me shorty? You trip over me?

Man, I'm going to knock you silly!

I didn't mean it. I'm sorry.

I didn't know it was you, mad dog.

Don't you run from me!

Look, look. Let's get--

Hey, martin. I need a witness!

No, you don't.

Let's jump out the back way.

I ain't testifying for nobody. Let's roll.

You ain't said nothing about no mad dog.

Mad dog is out?

He's only up for parole.

He ain't coming looking for me.

No, he's coming.

He don't forget a thing.

That's the guy who went back and got his doctor...

He smacked his doctor when he was born.

He did something to his doctor.

Whatever he did, he did it.

That's the guy who got the doctor and smacked him...

Well, anyway, he went back, and he got...

I'm going to get this line.

He went back and got the doctor...

Who slapped him...

That's right. He did. Thank you.

When he was born.

He went back and got that doctor

Who smacked him on the butt when he was born.