04x19 - Housekeepers Unite

[bunniefuu]

♪ There’s a time for love
And a time for livin’ ♪

♪ Take a chance
And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road and
A road that’s hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There’s a path you take
And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is
Up to you, my friend ♪

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life ♪

♪ Brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

[SINGING IN JAPANESE]

Tony, Tony,
you’re getting
very good at this.

Arigato gosaimasta,
honorable Angela-san.

Oh, don’t mention it,
Tony-moto.

I really
appreciate you going
to all this trouble.

It’s no trouble.

Mr. Kenahara’s cooking
class is lots of fun.

I’m going to graduate
summa c*m sushi.

Ah--ha! Ooh!

Oh, are you all right?

Oh, my God!

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Old Japanese
sushi bar joke.

That’s very funny, Tony.

Don’t do it
at my dinner party.

Come on, Angela.

You get so uptight
when clients
come to town.

The Miyashiro
brothers love you.

Remember that
haiku Christmas
card they sent?

"Bells jingle,
snow falls,

remember to buy
Miyashiro
computers."

They get sentimental
around Christmas.

Hustle. You’ll
miss your train.

One more check to write.

You’re going to be late.
It’s your paycheck.

Take your time.

And here you go.

Please leave it
on the table.

I’m up to my elbows
in squid juice.

Okay, there it is.

I’m on my way.
Don’t work too hard.

I have to.
My final on crab
rolls is coming up.

See you tonight.

Have a nice day. Hai.

Hai. Hai.
Hai. Hai.

Bye.

[LAUGHS]

[SINGS IN JAPANESE]

[POUNDING ON DOOR]

Hi, you Tony Micelli?

The one and only.

I’m Frances Martin.
I’m the Barringtons’
new housekeeper.

Oh, a fellow
broom jockey, huh?
Enter, enter.

I always thought Micelli
was an Italian name.

Oh, it is,

but I’m a renaissance
kind of guy, see?

I’m practicing
for a dinner party.

I know.
The Miyashiro brothers

are flying in
from Tokyo next week.

Gee, how did
you know that?

I like knowing
what’s happening
in my neighborhood.

Good, then, ’cause you
came to command central.

Listen. A speed bump’s
going in on Maple.

Not anymore.
The mayor nixed it.

Well, one falls
through the cracks

every now and then.

Get you something?
Coffee, tea, raw tuna?

No, thanks. I’m
trying to cut down.

Cup of coffee.

Okay, cup of joe coming up.

Half a cup. Just had some
over at the Hendersons’.

Oh, the Hendersons.

What a nice couple,
huh?

Yeah. Too bad about
their marriage, huh?

What about
their marriage?

Haven’t you heard?
No.

Honey, they’re
on the rocky road to Reno.

No. Divorce?

Yeah.

You didn’t
hear it from me.

No!

Nor about
the Griffins.

Well, what
didn’t I hear?

Mrs. Griffin threw
her twin sister out.

Seems like her husband
kept mixing up the two.

You know, it could be
an honest mistake.

Yeah.

What’s this?

Oh. If you don’t mind,
that’s my paycheck.

Well, it’s nothing
to brag about.

We’re talking
tiny tamales.

Hey-oh. There is nothing
tiny about my tamales.

Well, keeps
your taxes down.

Yeah, but I get
a lot of perks...

full medical,
dental, I get
a Christmas bonus,

and I have
covered parking.

You afford a car
on that little a month?

It’s what
I make a week.

A week?

Marry me!

[WOLF WHISTLES]

Uh-uh.

You must be
the highest-paid
housekeeper

on the entire
Eastern seaboard.

What can I say?

I’m the Dan Rather
of domestic engineering.

Does he make that much?

Ah!

Pretty funny.
Hey, listen.

I’m having the housekeepers’
coffee klatch over here.

Drop by. We sh**t
the breeze, trade secrets.

Secrets? I’m in.

Will you be making your
macadamia nut brownies?

You really do
know everything, huh?

I wouldn’t
go that far.

Incidentally, your
daughter got a "C"

on that geometry
quiz.

I knew that.

Samantha!

"The square
of the hypotenuse

"equals the sum
of the square

of the other
two sides?"

Mona, you’re
worldly. When
will I use this?

Never.

Right! I’m
out of here.

Yes, Mr. Miyashiro,

I’m looking forward
to seeing you too.

I’m having
a special dinner

prepared in your honor.

Oh, you’re most welcome,
Mr. Miyashiro,

and you give my best
to your brother bud.

Sayonara.

Bud’s the wild one,
isn’t he?

Mother, you’re
not planning

on attending my
dinner, are you?

Of course. I don’t
get many chances

to wear
my peek-a-boo kimono.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I’ll get that.

I’d like to speak
to Angela, please.

Oh, Joanne, what
an unpleasant surprise.

Dear, Joanne is here,
and she’s in a snit.

Angela, I am very upset
with you, extremely upset.

Joanne, you’re
spitting on me!

It’s all over Fairfield
that you pay Tony

more than any other
housekeeper in town.

What I pay Tony’s
my business.

How much more?

Oh, try about 50 percent.

What?

She said 50 percent!

I would never tell anyone
how much I pay Tony.

Then he must be
the blabbermouth.

Tony, a blabbermouth?
Don’t be ridiculous!

Hot scoop!
The Hendersons are
getting divorced.

I rest my case.

How could you tell
everyone what I pay you?

I didn’t tell
nobody nothing!

Oh, it
must have been

the Barringtons’
new housekeeper.

She saw my paycheck.

Now my
housekeeper’s
demanding

what Tony gets.

It’ll cost
a fortune!

Oh, then you’ll
have to hold off

on that tummy tuck.

Joanne,
what should I do?

Simple. Cut Tony’s salary.

If you’re going
to talk dirty,

we’ll ask you to leave.

I’ll talk
to other homeowners.

This is quite a mess
you’ve made.

I hope you’re happy.

I’m happy.

Yes, me too.

And Angela, gee,
thanks for putting me

on the top
of the housekeepers’
Fortune 500.

It’s my pleasure,
Tony.

Since you’re
the highest-paid
housekeeper,

one little thing
bothers me.

What? What?

This little piece
of green scum

under my shower
soap dish.

Aah! Scum?

As God is
my witness, Angela,

you’ll never take
another shower
with scum again!

Ladies, all you do--
A little baking soda,

a little toothpaste,
a little elbow grease,

and you’ve got a super
non-abrasive cleanser.

Leaves your hands rose petal
soft, and it’s cheap.

Careful, Tony,
don’t spill any

on that four-ply
cashmere sweater.

Okay, Frances, let’s
give it a rest, huh?

We’re here to learn.

Teach me how you
make the big bucks.

All right, okay, okay.

I think it’s time
we cleared the air, okay?

It’s a two-ply
sweater, Frances.

Two or four,
it sure is nice.

All right.
Ladies, ladies,

I know you’re upset

because you heard
through the grapevine

how much I earn.

You can’t compare Angela
to other bosses.

I mean, there are
special circumstances

to our relationship.

I’ve heard that.
Yes, I have.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

None of that.

Circumstances
shmirkcumpances.

We all do more than
keeping of the house.

A lot.

Well said, Margarita.

All I know is,

that we should be getting
equal pay for equal work.

[OVERLAPPED CHATTER]

[CHATTER STOPS]

Hi. Just pretend
I’m not here.

[LAUGHS]

[OVERLAPPED CHATTER RESUMES]

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

Calm down.

Easy for you to say,
Mr. Moneybags.

Let’s withhold
our services

until our
demands are met.

A 50-percent
salary increase

and medical
and dental benefits.

Let’s go on strike
until we get them.

Are you with me?

ALL: Yeah!
Are you with me?

Yeah!
Are you with me?

Just had to get
some important files.

ALL:
Yeah!

Ladies, hold on
to your DustBusters.

Why don’t you
talk to your bosses

and ask for a raise?

I tried.
Me too.

Mrs. Grant says
money’s been tight

since they got
the third Mercedes.

ALL:
Strike! Strike!
Strike! Strike!

Now, girls, girls--

Ladies, ladies,
look, look.

Come on, girls.

We’re sisters, right?

We’ve been through
a lot together,

and I hope the strike
goes well for you.

What a wimp!

I just can’t go on strike
against Angela.

Oh, boo, hiss.

We need
a united front.

Tony can do
as he chooses.

It’s his
own business

if he wants to be
a lousy scab.

Gee, sticks
and stones, Mary.

Tony, may I see you
for a moment, please?

She probably wants to
borrow money from him.

All right, Frances.

That’s it!

No more
macadamia nut
brownies for you.

What’s going on
out there?

I don’t know.
It’s getting ugly.

One minute they’re talking
non-abrasive cleansers,

next, they’re singing
"Look for the Union Label."

I can’t believe you.

I’m not going
on strike.

That’s what
I can’t believe.

What? You mean
you want me
to strike?

Those who are
more fortunate

cannot ignore those
who have been deprived

of life’s basic
necessities.

Wow, that’s good.

But how do you feel
about the housekeepers?

Tony, those women are
fighting for a better life.

You’ve got to link arms
with them.

You’ve got to stand together.
Solidarity is everything.

You know, maybe
you’re right, Angela.

I could be another
Laqualoosa.

No? Lukualisa.

Lak...

Cesar Chavez.

Tony, there comes a time
in every housekeeper’s life

where he’s got to drop his mop
and raise his fist.

Tony, drop that mop.

Angela,
you’re right.

I’m striking
against you.

Oh, that’s wonderful!

You’re truly
a selfless human being.

Oh...

You don’t mind?

Mind? I wouldn’t
have it any other way.

This is a just cause,
a worthy cause,

and Joanne
will have a cow.

Moo!
Moo!

[BOTH LAUGH]

Terrific!
[TIMER DINGS]

Oh, time to baste
the turkey.

Oops.

What’s the matter?

Silly me.
I’m on strike.

Hey, Angela,
how’s this slogan?

"Don’t iron
while the strike is hot."

Catchy, powerful,
tres militant.

All right, all right.

Should I do it
in raging red,

or bring-them-
to-their-knees blue?

How about power-
to-the-people purple?

You’re good, Angela.

No wonder
you can afford me.

I’m hungry.
Where’s breakfast?

Oh, well, Mother,
Tony’s on strike.

You can have some

of that chicken salad
I made.

Aah!

I want to live

to see
the strike end.

[PHONE RINGS]

Uh-uh,
you’re on strike.

I don’t want to be
a union buster.

Hello?
Yes, Mr. Miyashiro!

Oh, you’re calling
from an airplane.

My, you must have

a long
extension cord.

That-- That--
That’s a joke.

Oh, you can’t
make it next week?

Well, when
can you make it?

Tonight?
Tonight’s perfect.

No, no. It’s
no problem at all.

I’ll just throw something
in the micro-wok.

Yeah, yeah.
That is a joke.

Yes, well, thank you
for calling, Mr. Miyashiro.

We’ll see you
tonight. Sayonara.

Ah, humor,

the international
language.

You’re
so fluent in it.

So hey, they’re
coming tonight?

Yeah. The house
needs cleaning

and the sushi
needs making.

I’m on strike, remember?

Why not
take them out?

I can’t. I promised them
a home-cooked meal.

I guess you’re
on your own.

Remember?
Mop down, fist up?

I’m not asking you
to violate the strike,

I’m just asking
for help as my friend.

Well, as my friend,
I don’t think you should

be asking me to do
something like that.

I mean, I made a commitment.

Well, Tony, I mean,

you don’t have to be
so stubborn.

I’m not being stubborn.

I’m practicing solidarity.

Come on, who’s going to know?

I’ll know.
And anyway, Angela,

don’t you think you’re being
a little self-centered here?

Self-centered?

Yesterday I was
a selfless human being.

Amazing how fast
people change.

I mean, one account
comes along,

and it’s
bye-bye working class,

sayonara, little people.

How can you say that?

I pay my little person
very highly.

Oh. So that’s
how you see me,

as a little person?

I refuse to continue
this conversation.

Why? We’re having
so much fun.

Hi, Tony.
What’s wrong?

Nothing.

Come on, buddy.
Unload on me.

You help me solve
a lot of problems.

Well, okay, Jonathan.

Well,
it’s like this.

Me and some
other housekeepers
are on strike.

Oh, yeah. I read
about strikes in school.

You and Sam are labor,

Mom, grandma, and I
are management.

Yeah, yeah,
that’s right.

Hard cheese, labor.
You’re on your own.

♪ Always look for
The union label ♪

What a mess
this place is in.

Uh, uh, uh.
You’re on strike.

[MUMBLING]

Dad.
What?

What?

What’s the matter?

Do not sneak up on me
like that.

Sorry. Next time
I’ll wear a bell.

See that you do.

Dad, can I borrow $10 to--?

No.

Dad, you didn’t
let me finish.

It’s to buy the new
Buster Poindexter album.

Oh, Buster Poindexter.
No.

Come on, Dad.

Samantha, I’m on strike here.
I’m on strike.

I don’t know how long
this is going to go on.

We should only be spending
money on necessities.

Okay. I understand.

Time to tighten our belts.

Good girl.

I’ll charge it.

[GROANS]

Tony.
What?

Although you may not
be cleaning up,

there is no reason
to trash the place.

It will
never happen again.

Splendid.

Hey, uh, Hazel.

You, uh,
missed a cobweb.

I know. I think
it works there.

Yes. It does give
the room

that aura of neglect.

Speaking of neglect,

you’re not going
to leave

those signs there,
are you?

I’ll move them.
How about near
the fireplace?

How about
in the fireplace?

That was one
of your jokes,
wasn’t it?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

It’s for you,
Norma Rae.

Hey, Tony.

Hey, Frances.

I got the
picket signs ready.

Throw them
in the fireplace.

Who’s side
are you on?

The strike’s over.
We have overcome.

What? So fast?
What happened?

Our employers realized
that we have certain needs,

and we’re cheaper
than the temps

they tried to hire.

I’m glad you guys
got what you wanted!

Too bad we didn’t
use your signs.

I like this one

with the happy face
on the vacuum cleaner.

But, hey, I’m
glad it’s over.

Yeah,
I’m glad too.

There’s a cobweb
in the corner.

Well, I happen
to think it works there.

I don’t know
if I’m ready

to pick up
my feather duster.

You’re the highest-paid
housekeeper in Fairfield.

Not anymore.

Frances,
do you mind?

No, go on.

Frances, goodbye.

Okay, I’m going.

Just tell me
one thing.

Are you two
sleeping together?

Out! Out! Out!

You know, I am
really disappointed.

Everyone’s gotten
what they want,

but you’re just
hanging on like a child.

You mean little person,
don’t you?

Break out the bubbly.
The strike is over!

My laundry will be done.
Hallelujah!

Hang on to your hose,
Tammy Faye.

Mr. Obstinate
is still on strike.

Because Miss
Center of the Universe

has yet to apologize.

Me apologize?

Are you two
still at it?

What you need here
is an objective mediator

to settle this
labor dispute.

You’re right. You’re wrong.
My wash is upstairs.

You don’t know
anything about this.

How can you
I’m wrong?

Because you’re
always wrong.

Told you.

And you are stubborn.

Hold on.

Actually, stubborn’s
an understatement.

This man
never gives in.

That’s right.

Ever.

Well, not ever.

And she is
so self-centered.

Now you’re
talking, Mona.

She never thinks
of other people, ever.

Well, not ever.

Angela’s done a lot
of nice things.

She was
paying me more

than any other
housekeeper
in Fairfield.

Because you’re the best
at what you do.

Well, you were
when you were doing it.

It’s easy
to be the best

when you work
for the best boss

in Connecticut.

Oh, Tony.

I was lucky
to find you.

Well, my job is done.

I think I’ll go home
and puke.

[SINGING IN JAPANESE]

Oh, Tony.

Oh, that looks
beautiful.

And so do you,
my little lotus flower.

We should have
the Miyashiro brothers

over more often.

Yes. Uh, shall we?

Yes.

Ha.
h*.

I propose
a little toast.

Watch out, there.

Thank you.

This is
the real thing.

Okay.

Kampai.

Kampai.

To solidarity.

And to the highest paid
housekeeper in Fairfield.

Who, Frances?

No, you. You’re
getting a raise.

No. I couldn’t.

How much?
[LAUGHS]

You’ll see.

Oh, Angela.
I am touched.

I’m speechless.

I want everybody in
the world to know.

Where are you going?

To tell Frances.

[♪♪]