05x04 - Yankee Doodle Micelli

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

Singer: ♪ there's a time for
love and a time for livin' ♪

♪ so take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road and
a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ there were times ♪

♪ i lost a dream or two ♪

♪ found the trail ♪

♪ and at the end was you ♪

♪ there's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ the choice is
up to you, my friend ♪

♪ nights are long
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

Man [over television]:
bases loaded. 3 And 2 count.

mattingly's
at the plate.

clemens working
out of the stretch.

and here's
the windup.

and the pitch.

that ball is
going, going, gone!

And I wasn't even batting
with a regulation loaf.

And micelli scores!

Well, pin a rose
on your nose.

Wait. What's with you?

Why are we
in such a snit?

Angela: mother, time to
clean the attic!

Does that answer
our question?

There you are.

Mother, you promised you would
help us clean the attic today.

I lied.

Eaves dusted,
dust busted.

All right.

Angela, it's bad enough that
you've worked me like a dog,

But this poor,
innocent child.

She's paying me
three bucks an hour.

I made my bed.

Tony: all right,
clean freaks.

Let's put the rest
of this stuff away.

And wish your star pitcher
good luck.

Let me tell you, this game
today is gonna be rough.

'Cause the guys
we're playing,

They're animals.

They're K*llers.

They're murderers.

Who are you playing?

Debbie's
frozen yogurt.

Tony: all right.
Hey everybody.

Check out
my praying mantis.

Wait a minute. Where'd you
get this box, pal?

In the attic.
Mom threw it away.

What the--
hey!

Be careful.
He's eating lunch--

Two spiders
and a moth.

Oh, no.

It's nature's way,
tony.

I'm not talking about
this praying mantis

I'm talking about the bottle
caps that were in here?

Where are they?
Beats me.

Well, didn't you see them?

Maybe they fell out
in the attic somewhere?

Well, where
somewhere, angela?

What is the big deal?
It's just junk.

Junk?
Junk, angela?

Don't you ever talk about
my bottle caps that way again.

I got to find them.

The pressures
of suburban softball.

Okay, guys, stay still.

I'll find you.

What is so
important, tony?

Oh, here's one.

Oh! Good eye, angela.

Wait a minute.
No, it's a false alarm.

This is a diet cola,
late eighties.

I'm looking for yoo hoo,
late fifties,

And one
orange nehi.

Tony, I have a degree
in psychology.

So here's
a free diagnosis.

You're a wacko.

Well, hardy-har-har,
mona.

Let me tell you
something.

My grandfather
gave me these caps.

They're real
important to me.

Which grandpa
was this?

The one with hair
growing out his ears

Or the one with hair
coming out of his nose?

Grandpa micelli.

Oh, the ears.

Yeah. I remember when
he came from palermo.

You know, he came to
take care of me

Because, you know,
my mom died when I was 7.

And she left me
and pop all alone.

Grandpa came to help.

I remember when he got off
the plane, you know,

He's carrying his old
[indistinct]

With stuff
with a suit,

And pictures of relatives,
and about 10 pounds of garlic.

Why 10 pounds
of garlic.

Airline restrictions.
He had to send the rest.

Oh. There's nothing like
a little boy and his grandpa.

You two must have been crazy
about each other.

Well, actually,
I hated him at first.

You hated
your grandfather?

Well, he--
he wasn't my mother.

Boy, those first
few months were tough

for both of us.

he was trying to get along
with his grandson,

i just wanted
to be left alone.

Man [over television]: they got
to have a new one or nothing.

Woman [over television]:
oh, fine.

oh, thanks, gramps!

there ain't anything
in this world

too good
for these two.

[Woof woof]

and that includes
you, too.

Hello, antone.

How's my anthony, huh?

Hello, grandpa.

Hello, antone.

It's my good boy, huh?

Antone,

Turn off mr. Ed
and come talk to me, huh?

It's lassie.

I'm so sorry, huh?

In italy, we have
only one show.

i love lucia.

So why--why are you not outside

To playing with philly phewey
and joey huh?

I don't feel
like it.

Uh, it's no good
to sitting in the house

All afternoon
watching a talking dog.

Lassie doesn't talk.

scusi.

And that's not where mama
kept the oatmeal.

scusi.

Mateo: antone,

How about
a special dinner, huh?

Anything you want.

Even spumoni
as the main course, huh?

I'm not hungry.

aspetta. Aspetta.

Tony: i remember
how I used listen

to this radio program that
played patriotic songs.

grandpa loved
anything american--

baseball,
the 4th of july,

the edsel.

he didn't have
much taste in cars.

but more
than anything else,

he loved george m. Cohan.

Antone, who am i, huh?

My father thank you,
my mother thank you,

My sister thank you,

And I thank you.

George m. Cohan.

Pretty good, huh?

[Radio playing
"yankee doodle dandy"]

Young tony: grandpa,
what are you doing?

The fizz
will go out.

Shh. Pick up
your feet.

Young tony:
I don't get it.

Up, up, up.
Come on.

That's a boy, huh?

I remember when my grandpa
does this to me,

Except,
I had bare feet.

It's a little joke.

Okay, come on.

Stand up
and do like I do.

Come on, try one time
for your grandpa, please.

All right. If you promise
just one time.

Cross my heart
and hope-a to fly.

That's die.

Never say die
to old man, huh?

Now let's try.

Tony: there was something
about the sound

those caps made
against the linoleum.

even though I didn't want to
like it, but I did.

a lot.

My good boy.

Want to do some more?
Yeah.

Angela: imagine.

You kept those bottle caps

As a precious memory
of your grandfather

All these years,

And I just
tossed them away.

Somebody kick me,
please.

Are you handing
out numbers?

Tony: come on.
Come on.

Come on, angela.

Don't blame yourself.

I mean how--
how were you to know

They were
so important to me?

You could've asked me
or something.

Tony,

We're going to find
those bottle caps.

You really think so?

Cross my heart
and hope-a to fly.

Okay, come on then.
Let's keep looking.

Okay.
Sam, you take the stairs,

I'll take the chimney.
Okay.

I'll take the trunk.

I'll supervise.
Up.

I don't want anybody
to shirk their duty.

Angela:
all right, let's see.

Now if I found
the cigar box there,

Then I might've thrown
the bottle caps here.

Aha!
You found the bottle caps.

Close.
Your training bra.

Give me that.

Dad, what does
a yoo hoo look like?

Yoo-hoo.
Dad.

What?

What are you
looking at?
Oh, nothing.

It's--it's a u.s.
Citizenship test.

Yeah, yeah. It, uh--
it was my grandfather's.

Come on, let's--
let's look for them caps.

Wait a minute,
I want to see it.

Whoa.

He aced it.

Talk about a brain.

He even knew who
lyndon johnson was.

Look how he
signed his name.

The same way
you do.

Illegible.

Tony, this--this is
a priceless memento

Of your grandfather.

I think we should
get it framed.

Well, uh, I think
we should drop it.

Oh, tony, it's part
of your history.

Well, let's--lets's keep it
like that. History.

But, tony,

I thought you wanted mementos
of your grandfather.

Well, look, angela,
I got a game to play, okay?

Let's--let's forget
about the mementos,

Forget about the caps,

And let's forget
about this stupid test.

Hmmm.
Oh, my high school yearbook.

Oh, jonathan's
first tooth.

Oh, mother's dance card.

Mother's dance card.

Mother's dance card.

Hi, angela.

Oh, hi.

Oh, sorry you
lost your game.

How'd you know
we lost?

Well, you came in here
and you said, "hi, angela,"

Instead of "yo, angela!"

Wow. You really
do know me, huh?

Yes, I do.

You wanna talk
about things?

I guess.

First, ronnie
got thrown out at the plate.

And then roy,
he missed an easy pop fly.

And then frank--
that's not
what I meant.

I know.

Angela, i, uh...

I did something terrible
to my grandfather.

See, because of me,

He--he never became
an american citizen.

It was back in 1964,

And I was 13.

I was supposed
to go with grandpa

to watch him stand up
and take the oath.

he was so excited.

he had his only
suit cleaned

and he--he even treated
himself to a new tie.

boy, was it ugly.

I, matteo micelli...

I, matteo micelli...

I, matteo micelli...

Uh...
Grandpa?

Oh, antone.
I'm so glad you're home.

Now we no gonna
be late, huh?

Uh, someone's here
to see you.

I'ma think
we're gonna be late.

Good afternoon,
mr. Micelli.

Guess who's been stealing
subway signs again.

I overlook
things once,

Twice,
but three times,

And we start practicing
law and order.

aspetta,
aspetta.

Antone, did you
steal the sign?

Philly fingers
made me do it.

Why?

Why would he make you
steal a subway sign, huh?

Because he needed a present
for mother's day.

What's the matter
with you?

Uh, you always
causing trouble.

This is america.

Here you can make
something of yourself.

I know.
I know.

Uh, grandpa,
I keep telling you.

There's nothing
I'm good at.

What are you
talking about, huh?

You--you're good
at baseball.

Oh, sure.

The yankees are
knocking down my door.

Uh, maybe one day
they might be, huh?

Antone,

Learn to dream.

Hey, look at me,
huh?

All my life, I want to be
an american, huh?

Today,
I gonna be.

But that's different.

It's easier
to become a citizen

Than a baseball player.

Well, all right.
Maybe so, huh?

Maybe so,
but--but...

Look at
joe dimaggio, huh?

Joe dimaggio.
He's a yankee,

He's famous,

He's rich,

And he's--
italian.

That's right.
That's right.

Tony:
on grandpa's list

of the three greatest
american heroes,

joe dimaggio came
just under george m. Cohen.

Angela: who came next?

Tony: marilyn monroe.

she was also four through ten.

Look, I can't stand here
all day.

I'll give you a choice.

A, we call
the punk's father--

Oh-hey.

Hey-oh,

Don't call my
grandson no punk.

Excuse me.

We call the young
gentleman's father,

And he has a talk
with the captain.

Uh, that's--
that's no good either.

It would break
my son's heart.

He works hard to support
this little punk.

Police officer:
okay, then.

I haul him down
to the station house

And lock him up.

Oh, oh, oh.

Can I go, uh--
in my son's place?

Uh, but grandpa,

What about
getting sworn in?

Ah. Who's gonna
miss me, huh,

The widow toscarino?

She flirts with any man
who has his own teeth.

Well, you got your suit cleaned
and everything.

That's okay, huh?

Next month, there gonna be
another ceremony.

Come on.
We go.

We talk.
You learn to behave.

Otherwise, I send you

To my brother vincenzo
in sicily.

A couple
of weeks later,

He was arguing
the price of a bell peppers

With the vegetable man
when he bought it.

The pepper?

No, angela.
He--he died.

Oh...

Oh, I'm so sorry.

You see, the thing is
he died before he...

Before the next
swearing-in ceremony.

Boy, was the widow toscarino
disappointed.

Mother,

I've been thinking
about life.

Is this
orville redenbacher

Or that
generic stuff?

Uh...

Generic.

There--there's
nothing worst

Than missed
opportunities.

Is this real butter

Or did you use
that butter substitute?

It's--it's real.

I mean, do you ever wish
you could change the past?

Yes.

I would
have seen cats

With the original
broadway cast.

Will you be serious?

I am trying
to talk about tony.

Well, then why are you
blabbing about popcorn?

Mother,

What...what would make a guy
who was really down

Feel a whole lot better?

I don't think you're
willing to do that, dear.

I just...

I can't--i just can't stand
to see tony in such pain.

Yep.
Guilt stinks.

But, angela,
what is done is done.

He'll just going to
have to learn to live with it.

Angela: no, it's unfair.
It's just unfair.

I mean, here is this--
this poor, motherless little boy

Who did one thing wrong,

And he's been kicking
himself ever since.

In the best
of all possible worlds,

What would you want?

Well...

I'd want grandpa micelli
to become an american citizen.

Then do it.

He's dead.

So what?

I mean, dead people
win awards.

They get pardoned
for crimes.

Look at king tut,
he's been dead 5,000 years

And he's still on tour.

I mean, it's a whole
new world

Out there
for dead people.

Mother,
you are strange.

Strange but smart.

I can't believe
you've never heard

Of posthumous
naturalization.

I haven't.

Me neither.

But think about it.

Now, if a dead man
can get a pardon,

He can certainly become
an american citizen.

He just won't
be able to vote.

Except in chicago.

You know, angela,

If this posthumous
thing works,

It's a great idea.

Well, ideas
are my business.

Okay, here we go.

Good morning.

I'm judge hamilton.

I believe
you're supposed to rise

When I come in
to a room.

Now you're
supposed to sit.

Okay.
But you're so young.

You still have to sit.

Now, let's see. It says here
in judge stanton's notes

That a...ms. Bower

Requested naturalization
of a mr. Micelli.

Tony:
that's right.

I assume that's you.

Uh...no, no. Um, uh...

This is
for my grandfather.

Fine, fine.

Where is he?

Uh, well,
he's, uh, under an oak tree

In sleeping meadows.

He's dead?

Angela: yeah.

You want me to naturalize
a dead person?

Well, he passed
the requisite test.

Yeah. And, uh, he--
he just didn't make it

To the swearing-in
ceremony.

Your honor,
this is called

Posthumous
naturalization.

Who thought
that one up?

She did.

Well, actually,
it was my mother.

Huh?

I'm sorry. My docket
is full with live people.

Now if you
don't mind...

Wait a minute.

Uhm, listen,
your honor, uh...

Haven't you
haven't you--ever done anything

You--you really regretted
when you were a kid?

No.

Well, maybe--maybe you can
understand this anyway.

You see, uh, your honor,

A little guy
with a funny accent

Moves into your house
and tries to be your mother.

I mean, he--he makes you clean
behind your ears,

And eat oatmeal,

And he's always nagging you
to--to try to be somebody.

Well, the funny thing
is that

You end up with
the cleanest ears

In the neighborhood,

And you end up
being somebody.

Of course, I still hate oatmeal,
but that's another story.

What I'm trying to say is

It was my grandfather
who taught me how to dream,

And I was just hoping
that maybe...

I could make one of his dreams
come true today.

There's no statute
to cover this request.

But you're a judge.
You can set precedent.

Yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't be surprised

If they wrote this up
into law journals

Or wrote you up
as a case history,

Or appointed you
to the supreme court.

That was one too many,
wasn't it?

Yes, but I won't
hold it against you.

Are you to be the proxy,
mr. Micelli?

You--you mean
you'll do it?

I was going to do it
after his speech

But you kept going.

Would you raise
your right hand

And repeat after me.

I...

I--i can't read the name.
It's illegible.

It's, uh, matteo.
Matteo micelli.

I, matteo micelli,
hereby declare on oath...

I, matteo micelli,
hereby declare on oath...

That I will
support and defend

The constitution
and laws

Of the united states
of america...

That I will
support and defend

The constitution
and laws

Of the united states
of america...

Against
all enemies,

Foreign
and domestic...

Against
all enemies,

Foreign
and domestic...

That I will
bear true faith

And allegiance
to the same...

That I will
bear true faith

And allegiance
to the same...

Judge hamilton: and that I take
this obligation freely,

Without any
mental reservation

Or purpose of evasion...

And that I take
this obligation freely,

Without any
mental reservation

Or purpose of evasion...

Judge hamilton:
so help me god.

So help me god.

Welcome to america,
mr. Micelli.

Thank you, your honor.
Nice country.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have
this overwhelming desire

To call my grandfather.

Angela?

Yes, tony?

I thank you,
my father thanks you,

My mother thanks you,

And, most of all,

Grandpa micelli
thanks you.

Tony: who's the boss?
will be back in a moment.

stick around.

Come on.

Come on, I'm telling you,
you're going to love this.

Dad, nobody does
this anymore.

Oh, come on.
It's a micelli tradition.

Try once for me, please,
please, please, please?

Okay, okay.
If you promise just one time.

Okay. Great. Great.
I'll try--i'll keep it simple.

Okay, ready?
Okay.

Aah!

[Theme music playing]