06x01 - In Search of Tony

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

Singer: ♪ there's a time for
love and a time for livin' ♪

♪ so take a chance
and face the wind ♪

♪ an open road
and a road that's hidden ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

♪ there were times ♪

♪ i lost a dream or two ♪

♪ found the trail ♪

♪ and at the end was you ♪

♪ there's a path you take
and a path not taken ♪

♪ the choice
is up to you, my friend ♪

♪ nights are long,
but you might awaken ♪

♪ to a brand-new life ♪

♪ brand-new life ♪

♪ a brand-new life
around the bend ♪

[♪♪♪]

A penny
for your thoughts.

My life's falling apart.

I have no future.

They're all leaving me.

I'm alone here,
like a dog.

So, you're
into windsurfing?

I just can't
figure it out.

I mean, this was supposed to be
the perfect family vacation.

Fun, sun.
And it was all on the arm.

Angela's client
was paying the bills.

I was in heaven.

Come on, mon!

♪ me mind on fire ♪

♪ me soul on fire
singing hot, hot, hot ♪

Oh!

♪ all you people ♪

♪ hot, hot, hot ♪

h*!

That's it.
I'm not going. I'm 17.

I'm too old to be going
on vacation with the family.

Oh, come on sam,
I don't believe my ears.

I promise you. You're gonna
remember these days

For the rest
of your life.

Sam please, please,
not that look.

What look?

This look.

Move over,
moondoggie.

Here come the big kahunas.

Angela: mother!

Mother,
it's a small island.

Pace yourself.

Cab's here.

Hey, grandma,
you look great.

Grandma?

Darling,
you're such a big boy now

That I think while
we're in jamaica,

You can call me mona.

Better yet,
don't call me.

Better still,
you don't know me.

Yeah. And while we're at it,
you don't know me.

Oh, what is with you
people here?

What is it?

I mean, must I be
the veritable glue

That holds
this family together?

Must I be
the perennial funmeister

Who drags you out
of your sullen states

And leads down that road
to smiletown?

Angela: we don't know him.
Tony: oh, yes you do.

Come on, g*ng.
Let's have some fun!

Oh!
Oh!

Just kidding.
Just getting fun.

Pace yourself.

[♪♪♪]

Oh!

Oh!

Will you look
at this, huh?

Palm trees, sand,
clear blue water.

Does life
get any better?

Oh, wow! Look at
those sea shells!

Jonathan, when are you ever
gonna grow up?

Oh, wow! Look
at those sea shells!

You know, they say
you can hear the ocean

If you put your ear
up to them.

Good idea.
Tony!

Welcome to club
festival mrs. Bower.

I'm kyle fletcher,
the manager.

Hello, kyle.

Consider yourself
at home.

Everything
is at your disposal.

Hear that? We're getting
royal treatment, grandma.

What an adorable
grandchild you have.

Well, I suppose
if I'm going to give you

Any kind of campaign,
I'd better get to work.

How about a tour
of the island?

Oh, you're on.

Let's go.
Okay.

You want to
come with us?

You got it, mon.

Hey, sam, angela and i, uh--

On second thought, angela,

I think I'm going to spend
some quality time with sam.

Angela: oh, okay.
Have fun.

See you later.
Okay. Bye bye.

Uh, hi.
Hi.

Who's this dude?

This dude
is dad.

Uh, dad, come here.

Sam, sam, I know what
you're going to say, sam.

But I'm telling you, it has
nothing to do with this guy.

I just want the family
to spend some time together.

I know dad. But maybe if I had
some space on this vacation,

It could be kind of like
a trial run for you.

Uh, a trial run?

What do you mean,
trial run?

Well, you know I'm going to be
leaving the house real soon.

Real soon?
Well, where are you going?

College. In a year,


You're counting the days?

And six hours.

Well, sam I was kind of hoping
that you'd live at home

And go to ridgemont
with me.

You know, father,
daughter, sis-boom-bah.

Dad, you don't go to college
with your dad.

We need to cut
the apron strings.

You can understand
that, can't you?

No.

Uh, but give me a hug.
A quick one.

Okay.

Dad.
Yeah?

Snip-snip.
Oh, oh, yeah.

Sorry, sam.
Hey, have fun.

Okay, bye.
Bye dad.

All right.

So, can you
believe this?

I mean in one year,


I'll be single.
No dependence.

Did I mention
that my name's jill?

Uh, but I got to let
sam grow up.

I mean, who am I kidding?

I mean, isn't that what angela's
been telling me all these years?

Angela?
Please.

Please,
don't bring up that name.

I mean, you think
you know somebody.

I give that guy
a solid seven.

Oh, speaking of solid.

Red speedos at 2:00.

Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.

That is definitely
a perfect eight.

Four for each bun.

[Laughs]

Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.

What's going on here,
ladies?

We're just enjoying
some of nature's bounties.

Uh, yeah? Where? Where?
Let me look.

What? Hey!

What? I knew it. I knew it.

You guys
were rating guys, huh?

Mmm. Well? What did I get?

Need you ask?

I knew it. A 10.

Where's sam?

Oh, come on angela.
A young woman her age

Needs to cut
the apron strings.

And that's good news for you

Because now there's more of me
to go around!

Oh, the funmeister's
ready to roll!

What do you say, huh?

What do you think? A little
paddleboating, snorkeling, huh?

Mopeding.

T-t-tony, I'm sorry.

I made plans with the marine
director of research you know.

Ready, angela?

Are you disappointed?

No.
Oh, you.

No, I'm not disappointed.

I want you to have
the total island experience.

I'll see to that.

I'll see to that.

That's all right. I'll catch up
to her when she gets back.

I don't think so.

She's booked
for the entire afternoon.
Hmm.

Well, I think
I'll catch some rays.

Oh, ray.

h*! Hey!
Little skeeter!

What do you say?

Hey, you're in luck.

The funmeister's
all yours.

Oh. Thanks, tony,
but I've got my own funmeister.

Oh, monique.

She doesn't
speak any english,

Just the international
language of amour.

I thought his voice
was changing.

Hank: have a nice day.
Is this chair free?

Oh, sure. Go ahead.
They're all leaving me.

You know, for a fun club,
this place is a bummer.

So, what do you do
for a living?

Well, I'll tell you--
no, no, no. Let me guess.

Well you could afford this place
so you're doing well.

In good shape, so you obviously
take care of your appearance.

There's intelligence
in those eyes.

Oh, well.

Got it.
Investment banker.

Close. House keeper.
[Chuckles]

And college student.

I know you're up
to bigger and better.

Tony micelli.
Hank whiteman.

Head hunter.

Oh, I place executives
in fortune 500 companies.

Oh.

What are you headed for?

What's your major?

Uh, my major.
Well, to tell you the truth

I really don't have one.
I'm only a sophomore.

I figure I'll do that next year.
And I mean, what's the rush?

Tony, you're what? 30?

Ish.

Look, you don't have
a lot of time

To put off this decision.

You got to think
about your wife and kids.

Well, I don't really
have a wife.

And pretty soon,
I won't have a kid.

She's going off to college.

You see?
She's on the move

And you don't
even have a major.

Tony, life is like
a b*llet train.

You don't wanna be left
at the depot holding your stub.

Well, have a nice day.

Is that chair taken?

Tell him yes.

See? So, it's not just sam.

I mean, it's angela. Angela who
I usually have to nag,

To have a good time actually is,
only it isn't with me.

Which is okay, I guess.
Only it's just not like her.

And then there's hank
who says

I'm going to left
at the station of life

If I don't come up
with a major.

I mean, could things
be any worse?

No.

Hi, big guy.

Don't bother.
Excess baggage with this one.

So, tony,
making friends, huh?

Where is everybody,
mona?

This is supposed to be
a family vacation.

I didn't even
see the kids

Until they came up
to say good night.

And angela, she's who knows
where with who knows who.

Tony,
call me intuitive,

But you're
not happy, huh?

Mona, you ever think
about the future?

Sure. I'm going to have
lobster for dinner,

Then go dancing, and if I'm
lucky, I'll get lucky.

Not that future.
The future future.

Oh, you mean
like the jetsons?

Well, I'm convinced
that robots are going to do

All our menial chores.
Oh, great. Great.

I'll be out of a job.

Come on, tony.

Get some
perspective, huh?

Look at that star
up there.


It will still be here,

And we won't.

Oh, great. I'll be
out of a job and dead.

Come on.
Loosen up, huh?

Be more like angela.

I can't believe
I said that.

Hey, big rescue
on the beach!

They saved some woman
who was almost drowning!

Angela:
[coughing] kyle...

Kyle, will you
put me down?

Angela, angela!
Are you okay? Are you okay?

Yes, tony, I'm fine.

Really.
Thank god.

I mean, if anything
had happened to you angela...

Come on. Let's get
that wet towel off.

Oh, no.
That's fine. Really.

Tony, the towel's fine.

I think
this is yours.

Thank you.

Whoa!

That must've been
some undertow, huh?

To pull your suit
right off.

That part
she did herself.

We were all
skinny-dipping.

Skinny dipping?
Yes.

You mean nude,
with no clothes on?

Just my top.

And technically, skinny-dipping
is your bottom, too.

And besides,
I was under the water.

It was dark
nobody saw me take it off.

I saw her.

Oh, I did too.
Me, too.

Well, I am shocked.

Oh, drowning topless. Oh.

How--how tacky.

I mean, what would I have
told the kids?

I mean, we would've had to have
a closed coffin ceremony.

At least over the top.

Will you calm down?
It--it was fun.

You told me to get the total
island experience.

I meant the total clothed
island experience.

I... I cannot believe
that you care more about
my skinny-dipping

Than the fact that
I almost drowned.

You are not the person
I thought you were.

Well, how would you know?

You haven't seen me once
since we got on this trip.

Maybe that's because I'm having
a better time without you.

Oh, oh, oh.

Well, for your information,
today I had the best--

The most fun
in my whole life.

Isn't that right,
jill?

Well, she couldn't keep up
with the funmeister.

Well, you know what,
charlie chuckles?

Since we're having so much fun
without each other,

Why don't we just keep it
that way.

I'll see you
on the plane.

[Groans]

How will I find you? Will you be
sitting in the topless section?

I'm gonna--
I'm gonna, I'm gonna.

I hope dad and angela
will make up soon.

They're gonna k*ll themselves
trying to prove

That they can have fun
without each other.

Tony: whoa!

Look out. Look out
here he comes again.

Slouch down.
Maybe he won't see us.

No such luck.

Hey, kids, try this.
It's fun!

See what I mean?

You don't know
what it took

To talk angela out of the human
cannonball lessons.

[Boom]

Angela: hi, mother!

[Splash]

Wake me when it's time
to identify the body.

Good evening,
angela.

So nice to see you
wearing clothes tonight.

Stick around, tony.
It's still early.

Hmph.

Man: ladies and gentlemen,

It is now time
for our talent contest.

Okay, let's have some fun.
Who wants to go first?

Cannonball,
get up here.

Man: all right,
cannonball!

Yes, girl!

[Upbeat music playing]

♪ me mind on fire ♪

♪ me soul on fire ♪

♪ feelin' hot hot hot ♪

♪ party people ♪

♪ all around me ♪

♪ feelin' hot, hot, hot ♪

♪ what to do ♪

♪ on a night like this ♪

♪ music sweet ♪

♪ i can't resist ♪

♪ we need a party song ♪

♪ a fundamental jam ♪

♪ so we go rum-b-b-b ♪

♪ yeah we rum-b-b-b ♪

♪ feelin' hot, hot, hot ♪

♪ feelin' hot, hot, hot ♪

Well, well, well, tony,
it's your turn,

Unless you want to
give up right now.

No, you haven't
seen anything yet.

[Playing
"singin' in the rain"]

Man: I don't think anybody's
going to top that one.

How about a slow dance.

[Slow dance music playing]

Are you okay?

Of course I'm okay.

You're lying.

Of course I'm lying.

How did you know?

Because that's the knee
that you hurt in the 10th grade

When bobby gubenelli
tackled you.

I'll never
forgive him.

I haven't done
that routine

Since the baseball
follies.

You could have
fooled me.

Oh, so you liked it?

It was okay.

Yours was pretty
good, too.

Really? You think,
I didn't go too far, did i?

Well, you kept
your clothes on.

I couldn't have done
that five years ago.

Keep your
clothes on?

No. Just get up in front
of all those people

And cut loose.

That's your influence
on me, tony.

You're always telling me to get
out there and enjoy life more.

Oh, I get it. So, it's my fault
you took your top off?

Tony, will you drop the top?

You already did.

Tony.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry
you almost drowned.

And I'm really sorry
that when you almost drowned,

I wasn't the one
that saved you.

Oh, tony.

Angela, now, you may
not have noticed,

But I wasn't exactly
having a ball this weekend.

It bothered me
that you were without me.

But tony, the best times
of my life are with you.

Oh--oh, no.

What, is it your knee?
I can move.

No, no, no, it's...

It's just that I think
we, uh, both know

Where this is
leading to.

Yeah?
What's your point?

Well, call me
old-fashioned,

But I don't think
we can do this

Until we're married.

Until?

Uh, no, I don't
mean until.

I mean unless.

Unless?

Uh...

I don't know,
uh, maybe.

It went through
my mind.

You've thought about us
getting married?

I don't know. Maybe.

It went
through my mind.

But I'm not ready
to propose.

Good, 'cause I'm not
ready to accept.

Good.

Good.

You know, angela.

When I think
about my future,

You're in it.

But, I don't know,
do I work for you?

Do I date you and
live somewhere else?

Do I marry you?

I mean, we started

Because I moved from
brooklyn to connecticut

To give sam
a better life.

Now in 1 year,


Huh, make that 12--

She's leaving.

And so that's why
what the head hunter said

Bothered me so much.

The head hunter?

Look, angela,

I don't want to be a housekeeper
for the rest of my life.

I mean, that's why
I'm going to college.

But why am I
going to college,

To be a teacher,
a doctor,

A lawyer,
a candlestickmaker?

I don't know. I mean,
I don't even have a major yet.

You don't? You really should
decide soon.

Oh, tony.

I wouldn't care if you mowed
lawns in central park.

But I'd care.

Look, angela,
I don't know about us

Until I know
about me.

I mean,
the way i--

I understand.

You do.

[Boom]

Mona: whee!

Mother?

[Splash]

Tony: who's the boss
will be back in a moment.
Stick around.

Oh, tony, ton--

Penny for
your thoughts.

Oh, angela, oh, angela,
are you okay?

Oh, tony!

Oh, tony, my hero.

You saved my life.

How can I ever
thank you?

Hmm.

Tony?

Tony.

Ton-tony.

[Theme music playing]