07x11 - Inherit the Wine

[bunniefuu]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[TELEPHONE CONTINUES RINGING]

[DOOR UNLOCKS]

Hello.

Hello?

You mean, Micelli?

What? Look,
please speak up. I--

Hello?

Hel--

Who was that?

I don't know.

It was--
it was so garbled.

The guy asked for me,

but then all I could
make out were
three words.

Wine, execution...

death.

Oh, okay.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[YELPS] No, no, no!

I was going to go
with "Good morning,"

but okay.
[IMITATES TONY YELPING]

I'm sorry, Sam, it's just that
there's something--

something very ominous
going on here.

But I don't
want to scare you.

Your father is upset
about a phone call

that I'm still not
convinced was for him.

It was for me, Angela.
It definitely was.

All right, it was garbled,
and the guy had an accent

but he definitely asked for

"Toy-ee Mah-yeh-yee."

Who would threaten you
like that?

It sounds so melodramatic
"wine, execution, death."

Uh, well, I got my-- my enemies,
Angela, I got plenty of them.

Let me tell you--
Look, like,
just yesterday at the A & P

I accidentally rammed
old Mrs. Fenwick's cart.

Yeah. And she looks like
the vindictive type

the c*ck way
she wears her hair net.

Oh yeah, she'd just as soon cut
your throat as darn your socks.

[TONY GROANS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I got it!
No, no, no, Billy.

Billy, wait! Better let me.

Anthony Micelli?

Yeah?

Bottle of wine for you.

[TONY BREATHES HEAVILY]

Wine?
Yeah.

And I got something else
for you, too.

Hit the deck!

Okay, punk. Okay, who sent you?
Was it Mrs. Fenwick, huh?

Come on. Come on, let's see
what else you were reaching for.

Go ahead. Let me see it.

Tony, it's a letter for you.
He's a messenger.

Messenger?
[CHOKED] Messenger.

Oh, sorry, man. Hey, hey,
no hard feelings, huh?

No feelings at all.

Sorry, man. I'm sorry.
Hey, who's it from?

[GASPS] Oh, great!
It's from my Aunt Rosa,

huh?
Who's Aunt Rosa?

Oh, she's-- she's my
great-aunt from Italy.

She came here once
with my Uncle Aldo.

That's my late uncle.
What's he late for?

Oh, no, no, Billy, Billy.

He-- he's not late
for anything.

You see, about a month ago,
a couple of angels came down

and flew Uncle Aldo
up to the gates of heaven.

Dead, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's see here

it says, "I send this wine
from Aldo's vineyard

to invite you
to the execution of his will

on the one-month
anniversary of his death."

"Wine, execution and death."
"Wine, execution and death."

And that must have been
Uncle Aldo's lawyer

on the phone.
Yeah.

"I'm sending money that Aldo
left for you and Sam to fly out,

and some for your wife...

[CHUCKLES] which you
should have found by now.

Otherwise you are not only
half the man,

you are a pathetic--"

Well, she kind of rambles here.

Anyway, they-- they need us
there next week.

Mm, Dad, I have school
and so do you.

Sam, this is bigger than school.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime

chance to celebrate
the Micelli name,

the embodiment of
your heritage,

to go search for your roots.
What do you say?

Yeah! Ditch day!

And-- and since I'm short on
one wife, Angela.

Oh, I-- I'd be honored.
Great.

What about me?

Hey, where I go, you go, huh?
[TONY AND ANGELA CHUCKLE]

Hey, hey,
Mona, Jonathan.

JONATHAN: What?

Hey, hey.
What, what,

what?
TONY: Hey, guess what?

We're all going to Italy.

Italy? Great.
We're studying that in history.

The seven hills of Rome,
the art of Florence.

The men who pinch. [SIGHS]

So, where are we going?
Milan, Venice...

Naples?
Uh, Capa Reggio.

Cap-a-what?

Ah, well, it's a-- it's a
little town in Sicily it, uh,

it means, beach of sharp
and painful pebbles.

Is there anything to see there?

Besides the shredded
foot institute?

[TONY CHUCKLES]

Take lots of pictures.

Yeah, don't forget to write.
[TONY CHUCKLES]

Okay, okay,
but let me tell ya,

you're gonna miss
a heck of a time.

[♪♪♪]

♪ There's a time for love
And a time for livin' ♪

♪ Take a chance
And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road
And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take
And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is up to you,
My friend ♪

♪ Nights are long
But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life
A brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life
Around the bend ♪

[TONY SINGING C'E'LA LUNA]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

SAM: Hello. Aunt Rosa?

Ah, would you look at this?
Would you look at this?

The front door is unlocked.
Yeah?

In fact...

there are no locks, huh?

Do-- do you know
what this means?

You can't lock the door.

No, no, no. Billy, Billy,

it means-- it means trust,
Billy.

These are the most warm,
most loving people

you're ever
going to meet.

Fermi tutti!

I'm feeling the warmth, Dad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, Aunt Rosa-- Aunt Rosa,
wait a minute, it's-- it's us.

It's your nephew Tony
from America.

Anthony!

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

Well, Aunt Rosa,
why do you have a g*n?

Are you in some
kind of trouble?

Oh, no, no. This was Aldo's.
I don't even know how to use it.

Oh. You see that, Angela?

She doesn't even know
how to use it.

Come here,
you two! Eh!

SAM: Hi.

[SAM AND ANGELA YELP]
[AUNT ROSA EXCLAIMS]

And this must be Billy.

She's big!
[TONY CHUCKLES]

Now look, just send up a flare
if you get lost in there.

Now go ahead.
AUNT ROSA: There you go! Eh!

[AUNT ROSA EXCLAIMS,
SPEAKS ITALIAN]

Hey, look at you, huh?
Now you've been initiated.

You're an official member
of the Micelli family.

I think she broke
a rib.

You're lucky.

Jonathan was in a
body cast for a week.

Come on, let's go
check out the town.

You mean the boys, don't ya?

Kids say the darnedest things.
Yeah, yeah.

Hey, hey, watch it out there.
Be careful.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

Si, si, si. Sit down, Angela.
Yes. Oh, okay.

Sit down, sit down.

So, Aunt Rosa, how-- how are you
getting along? You okay?

Oh, Si, si.
I miss my brother Aldo...

Yeah.
...but Dominic

has been a great comfort.

Oh, Cousin Dominic is here?
Si.

Oh, Cousin Dominic Micelli.
Oh, he's a legend.

He once played Bocci ball
with Mussolini.

He let Mussolini win.
[CHUCKLES]

Smart man.
Yeah.

Antonio!
Hey, Dominic! All right!

Cousin Dominic.

I think maybe you ought
to meet him halfway.

Unless you want to see me die.
Oh, no. Hey, cousin.

Oh, good to see you!
Cugino! Eh.

Come here, come here, come here,
come here, come here, come here.

This-- this is Angela.
Hello.

You are very pretty.
Oh, thank you.

You know, I love a girl
named Angela once.

Really?
No. Twice.

There was that second time
behind the post office.

Yeah, okay, yeah.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

I'll get it.

Aspetta!

Vengo.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

Ritz crackers, anyone?

Um, Aunt Rosa, what's wrong?
He seemed so upset.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
He was angry with the Lord

because he took
Aldo from us.

Oh, you see that, Angela?
These Italians,

their arms are not too short
to box with God.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
Si.

Before we read the will,
a toast.

Okay, sure, sure.
ANGELA: Oh.

There you go, there you go.
He-- Here you go, cou--

Here you go, Cuz.
Here you go, Cuz.

All right, hey, uh...

Alla Mia Zia Rosa...

...and Italy, huh?

...Alla Mia Famiglia,
and Alla Mia Patria.

Salute.
Salute.

No, it was three times.

"e Al Mio Amico Dante,

Gli Lascio Un Anno Di Paga."

[CHUCKLES] There you go.
Oh, who's this guy?

Oh, that's Dante.
He runs the vineyard.

Aldo left him a year's pay.
TONY: Oh.

"e a Lucia..."

Lucia?

[MAN WHISTLES]

All of a sudden,
he's a b*llet train.

"a Lucia, Un Anno Di Paga."

She's getting a
year's pay, too?

AUNT ROSA: Hmm.
Who is this Lucia?

Eh, she was
Aldo's assistant.

BOTH: Oh.

Very pretty girl.

I wonder if Aldo had
a little crush on--

Oh.

I will read the rest in English.

"To Anthony,
my American nephew...

That's me! [GIGGLES]

...now
the oldest male Micelli...

besides Dominic
but he doesn't really count.

I leave my wine."

Hey, hey, great! I love wine!
[CHUCKLES]

You don't understand, Tony!
Aldo left you his vineyard!

That's a honking load of wine.

Wow. Ernest and Julio
and Tony. [CHUCKLES]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
There has to be some mistake.

I mean, Aunt Rosa
should get the vineyard.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
I got the house.

Besides, the vineyard
has to be run by a man.

But Aunt Rosa, I don't know

nothing about running
a vineyard.

Yes, that's true.
I-- Well, I mean,

you certainly know how to pick

the best grapes
at the supermarket.

But a vineyard,
that's a honking load of grapes.

Well, you don't have
to run the vineyard.

Me and the men will.
We don't even need you here.

Yeah, well, I guess that's true.
I mean, what would I do, huh?

The grapes grow, the feet stomp.
[LAUGHS]

Feet? Man,
we got machines.

What do you think this is,
I Love Lucy?

Anthony Micelli...
Si.

...as the new owner,

you're now entitled to wear
the owner's hat.

-AUNT ROSA: Hey!
Oh, hey.

This is Uncle Aldo's
hat, eh.

Oh. He always called
this his lucky hat.

Si. And to keep the good luck,
every morning he spit in it.

Maybe you should
rinse it out first.

Anthony, once you
sign these papers...

you will own the vineyard

and everything
that is vineyard related.

What-- what do you mean,
vineyard-related?

What does that mean?

So, who's got a pen?

What? What, maybe she's got
terrific steno skills.

Oh, excuse me.

One last thing.
Aldo had one last request.

From his deathbed,
he commissioned a statue

of himself...
Oh.

...to be displayed
in the piazza.

He wanted Anthony
to unveil it

at today's gathering.
TONY: Oh, hey, well.

Hey, I would be moved, huh?

Hey. [SPITS]

Hey!

TONY: Wait a minute.
Let me see this.

[ALL GASP]

Oh. Angela, Angela,
come here. I want to
remember this moment.

ANGELA: Oh, my.

My.

ANGELA: Well,
it's quite a day.

You came here to find your roots
and now you own them.

[TONY CHUCKLES]

Imagine that,
I own everything I see.

She's vineyard-related.

SAM: Wow. It looks like
the whole town showed up.

Yeah, huh?
Just to hear me speak.

Oh, excuse me there.
How are you?

Tony.
What?

Why do people keep giving
you dirty looks.

I don't know,
I'm getting bad vibes here.

Oh, Angela,
you funny little wasp, you.

No, you see, you see
Italians have unique ways

of greeting other Italians.

Oh, Il Cappello!

Oh, si, Il Cappello.
The hat, yes.

I am the new owner
of the vineyard.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

[SPITS]

Oh, good luck to you,
too, dear.

Hey, Tony.
Yeah?

A word of advice.

Keep it short, sweet,
and get the hell out.

Oh, please, Aunt Rosa,
let me tell you something

I've taken public speaking.

I can sense the mood
of a crowd.

All right.

Oh, I can't wait!

Aunt Rosa, Dominic.
In America, sneering
and spitting at people

means you hate them.
What does it mean here?

Same thing.

Well, why would
they hate Tony?

They think he's gonna be
like Aldo.

And they despised Aldo.
Oh, towards the end,

he couldn't show his face
in public.

They would've ripped him
limb from limb.

Greetings, fellow villagers!

Tony, could I speak to you,
please?

Uh, please, Angela, I'm having
a moment with my people here.

Benvenuti, Amici! Huh?
Welcome, friends...

to this historic occasion.
I am Anthony Micelli,

the new owner of
the vineyard,

and--
[GRUMBLING]

All right, okay. I sense--
I sense a little tension here,

and I understand why.

But don't you worry.
Non vi Preoccupati. Huh?

You don't have to worry
because everything

will stay the same.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

I will carry on
in the honored tradition

of the late,
great Aldo Micelli!

Yeah!
[CROWD CLAMORING]

I sense a mood shift
in the crowd!

Hurry up! Hurry up!
[CROWD CLAMORING]

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

Now you tell me,
now you tell me they hate me?

I was waiting
for the right moment

to tell you.
When, after the CAT scan?

BILLY: I'm not a Micelli,
I'm not a Micelli

Close that door!

Now, lock it, quick.
There are no locks.

No locks? What kind of
backward civilization is this?

Sam, Sam take Billy
into the bedroom.

Hide under the bed
and save room for me.

I am sorry
I should have told you,

but-- but I was hoping you
could go back to America

with all the nice
memories of Aldo.

But I-- I thought
the workers loved Aldo?

Hey, he was very,
very strict.

Well, you have to be
to run a business.

No, no. Not me. I'm different
from Aldo. I'll be less strict.

You can't be.
They'll walk all over you.

Yes, Antonio. Be strong.
Be Italian. Be a man!

You know, you're right,
cousin Dominic.

I am Italian,
and I'm Aldo's heir,
and I'm a Micelli,

so, therefore,
an Italian strong man
I'll be.

Good. Now, tonight
we'll put you in a dress

and sneak you to
the station.

What are you
talking about?

I have never,
nor will I ever,
wear a dress.

You are different from Aldo.

Guys, all the workers are coming
around to the balcony.

MAN: Hey, bring us
the yellow-bellied,

money-grubbing, capitalist pig!

It's for you.

Hold this. All right,
hold on.

Stay back.

All right, hey, guys, guys!
Now, wait a minute, guys.

Can't we-- can't we
straighten this out?

MAN: No! You a skunk like Aldo,

so, we shutting down

the vineyard!
Oh, no. Wait a minute,

you can't do that!
Dad, two of them have tomatoes

and one has a dead chicken!
Oh!

So-- so, that--
that black chemise

with the "V" neckline,
I think that'll fit me.

Good choice.
You can wear that anywhere.

I cannot believe Uncle Aldo
was such a terrible man.

Now, wait a minute,
Sam, Sam, hold it.

Don't say that, Sam.

Dad, how else do you
explain this?

Face it. They hate us.

And I'm not too wild about them
either, or Italy.

Hey, but Sam,
this is our homeland,

this is where we're from.

It's where we should leave,
Dad.

No way, Sam.
No, we're not leaving.

We're not leaving until
I clear the Micelli name

and I prove to my daughter
that her Uncle Aldo

was the kind and generous man
that I know he was.

Why, that penny-pinching,
peasant-pushing scrooge.

I'm surprised
he comes off that good.

Well, it's all here
in the books.

He paid them poorly, he gave
them practically no time off,

no health benefits.

Alas, poor Aldo,
I thought I knew you.

Oh, Tony,
I'm so sorry.

Well, let's just try to remember
the good things about him.

Like what?

He's still dead.

Okay, okay. I can
think of something
good that he did.

He gave the vineyard
to a decent,

caring, wonderful man.
Oh, thank you.

Boy, does she want you.

[♪♪♪]

I don't know, I think
this could be dangerous.

And I don't care, Angela.
I got something to say

and I'm gonna say it.
Dad, what you're about to do

is the right thing.
It makes me proud
to be a Micelli.

In fact, I don't even
care who knows it.

Hey, everybody,
my last name is--

Pride is one thing,
suicide another.

Uh, my fellow Paisans
and, uh,

Paisanettes--
MAN: Hey!

Hey, enough
with the produce, huh?

I came here
for an important reason

to redeem the Micelli name!

Nothing can make up
for Aldo's sins.

Aspetta! Please, wait,
hear me out.

MAN: No!
Hold it. Hold it!

This here's a
Martino tomato...

the most powerful tomato
known to man.

So, you got to
be thinking...

Feeling lucky, punk?

All right. Now.

Look, I know Aldo wronged you,
but I'm gonna make it right.

How?

How can a Micelli
make it right?

By giving you...

by giving you what you worked
so hard for all these years

by giving you
the vineyard.

I don't think
they understand.

They understand
but they think
there's a catch.

No, no, no, Paisans,
the vineyard is yours.

I mean, you-- you decide
what you're paid.

You share in the profits.

Voi Siete Patroni, huh?
You're your own bosses!

No catch?

No catch.

A Vigna Nostra!
A Vigna Nostra?

The vineyard is ours!
[CROWD EXCLAIMS]

On one condition.
There's a catch!

Not the statue!
Yes, the statue. Look,

you won't be restoring a statue,
you'll be restoring a name.

Do it for me.
Per Mia Famiglia.

For my family.

You got a deal!
All right.

Give me five.

Okay.
Don't leave me hanging.

All right, hey!

Oh, a little superglue
and he'll be as good as new!

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

[ALL CHEER]

You did good, Paisan.

Thank you.
Bravo, papa.

I'm hungry.

Yeah, well, good.
Let's go to New York

get some decent pizza.
What do you say?

Come on. Let's go.

Hey, Uncle Aldo.

You may not have turned out
to be the man I thought you were

but, but hey you were
a Micelli.

And you can now hold your head
up high and-- and rest in peace.

[CLINKING]

I'm going to go
get your hat.

TONY: Who's the Boss?
Will be back in a moment.
Stick around.

Well, I may not have gotten
the vineyard, but I got the hat.

And from now on every time
I look at it, I'll--

I'll remember this trip.

And I have my souvenir,

a bottle of Micelli wine.
Wo-hoo.

And I got Uncle Aldo's
favorite dress.

Sam!

And the memory
of my homeland.

TONY: Good girl. Oh...

What did you get, Billy?
A new babysitter.

Ciao, Billy.

Want to trade?

[♪♪♪]

[THEM MUSIC PLAYING]