01x07 - Heather Wants to Grab His Booty!

[bunniefuu]

Previously on

The real world...

Kevin's never around, and we

Were thinking it would be

Funny--it was just a playful

Thing--to get together and do

This sudden joke on kevin.

We have to--no, is everyone

Serious about changing their

Personalities?

All: yes.

I'll be a nerdy g*y.

I get to be a wh*re.

[Brassy jazz music]

♪

Ooh.

Sissy boy.

♪

Julie, kevin's leaving.

Before the elevator hits.

Kevin?

I need air, man.

Everybody's crazy in this

Apartment.

No, it's--will you close--

I'm serious.

I'm splittin'.

This is the true story...

True story.

Of seven strangers...

[Laughter]

Picked to live in a loft...

And have their lives taped...

To find out what happens...

What?

When people stop

Being polite...

Could you get the phone?

And start getting real.

The real world.

[Dog barks]

We lost our roommate.

He's never here.

I really thought we were

Being obvious.

Now I've been sleeping in his

Room for a month, okay?

And you just tell him that I

Sleep with guys, okay?

Hello?

Look at you.

I thought it was totally

Obvious that we were not actors

And that it would all show

Through, but it really didn't.

Great, did you run into him?

He freaked out.

He flipped and ran.

He left.

You've got to be kidding.

I went upstairs--

And then he tried to get away,

And we tried to stop him, and he

Got in the elevator, and he

Freaked out, and he goes,

"Get out."

Oh, you've got to be

Kidding me.

No, he flipped.

He flipped.

This was all your idea too.

This was not all my idea.

Great, andre.

Well, he left.

What do you want to do?

We can't, like, summon him back.

The thing is, he actually bought

The fact that I was joining a

Bluegrass band.

You know, he'll get it's a joke

Eventually, and he'll feel like

An a*s, so that's good enough

For me.

It says he knows absolutely

Nothing about me,

Absolutely nothing.

Just the satisfaction of him

Absolutely flipping out is

Pretty cool.

No, andre's all for it,

Because andre's pissed that he's

Never here.

You set him off.

Whoo, julie.

It's your fault.

Shut up.

No, oh, it's everyone's fault

Except for eric's.

It's everyone's except yours.

You better change.

I've done some mean things, but

This is mean.

Especially to leave him hanging

Like that.

You should have told him in the

Elevator, julie.

He's probably gonna

k*ll himself.

Oh, he is not.

Huh!

Keep smilin'.

All of us, like, left for a

Few moments, and it was enough

For him to, like, get out.

I feel--this is really bad.

I don't know if he's gonna

Come back.

Oh, now it's really bad, huh?

It is!

Oh! We are gonna--

Why don't you put some more

Words in our mouth?

I was hoping he was gonna, like,

Read his card or something like

That, when I gave him his,

Like, birthday card and stuff

Like that, but he wouldn't,

Like, open them.

Kevin!

Oh, kevin.

Kevin, it was big april--

No, no, no, come here,

Come here, come here.

We found him.

Wait, kev, we want to show

You something.

Oh, my god, no.

No, you don't understand.

Just go upstairs.

Just go upstairs in the room.

You have no idea what just

Happened.

No idea.

[Whispers] kevin freaked out.

Come on.

The sunday that you weren't

Here, we were--we were, like,

Hanging out, and we played this

Game where we got this fish

Tank, and we put all these

Different personalities in.

And we drew, and I ended up

Being a wh*re.

I'm not really a wh*re.

And I ended up being a

Kleptomaniac.

Norman doesn't really

Steal stuff.

You people are crazy,

You know that?

Did you believe us, though?

Of course I believed you.

Yay!

[Laughter]

But you have to see the tape.

I'm so sorry.

Come and see the tape.

Did I not look--

Was I not dressed?

Now, what if I didn't

Come back?

By the way, so far, right

Now, we're keeping out kevin for

His real response.

His brain just must have

Been swimming, and I think it

Started to really hurt him to

See all of us sitting there

Bonding, in a sense.

And he was left out.

I get to be a wh*re.

Julie.

Man, I was pissed off at you.

Man, I was so pissed at her.

You guys just don't know, man.

I called one of my friends.

I said, "I know I haven't been

Here a lot, but these people

Are crazy.

I'm quitting, man."

I said, "how can people change

Personalities overnight?"

I knew I didn't miss that much.

Man, I was totally trippin'.

I was totally trippin'.

Do like, glammy.

You know, take care of yourself.

You didn't really lose your

Virginity, did you?

I was like, man--

With julie's underwear.

I could not--

I was like, how could she do

That?

Oh, my god.

[Laughs]

I think it was a bad joke in the

Sense, that, you know, if I

Wouldn't have called my friend,

I would have kept going right up

To my apartment.

I might not have come back for a

Week or something, and I

Wouldn't have called, and they

Would have just been worrying

And stuff like that.

You know, I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm sorry.

[Funky dance music]

♪

Do some men look like he was

Born to make love?

Yeah, some men.

Larry.

Who?

Yeah, larry, mm.

Larry johnson is my husband.

He is not.

Yes, he is.

No, he's not.

He was obviously made to play

Basketball.

Where is larry johnson?

Well, he'll be up here on

March rd, 'cause they're

Playing at the meadowlands.

I just plan on getting arrested

That day.

I'm gonna go down there and just

Squeeze his butt and then leave.

And try to get his autograph,

But I'll squeeze his butt,

Then ask for the autograph.

Larry johnson, I think--

I think he is so gorgeous.

The rookie forward from unlv,

Number , larry johnson.

[Air horn blasts]

Sooey!

If it's larry johnson,

Oh, my god.

Wait, let me get sexy.

Want one?

Norman!

Norman.

You don't know how I

Looked up expecting to see

Larry johnson.

And all you saw was norm.

With a bag of m&m's.

Oh, he's at the door.

Package for a julie, becky,

Or heather.

If it's larry johnson,

I will die.

Come on in.

I want him.

There's a package.

Larry--that even sound

Like him.

We're not allowed to open

This until we open

The little thing.

What is this?

Why you got to be the one

To open it?

I don't.

I thought you were going for

The other envelope.

What? It says open the letter

Before the manila.

Why you get to do it?

What?

Larry.

That don't say nothing.

Depriving of romance?

Ooh, larry johnson.

Oh, no.

So we decided to what?

Search for the ideal man.

To provide a backdrop.

[All screaming]

Oh, my god.

They lyin'.

They are joking.

Oh, my gosh, what?

Oh, my god.

[Waves crashing]

We're going to jamaica.

This is what I've been

Dreaming of.

Every day I'm talking to adam,

Like, "let's go away."

Ain't no tickets.

We got to swim there.

That's the only problem.

Oh, my god, I got to call

My father.

Everybody just noticed that I

Needed a little sun.

We are going to jamaica.

I just need a little color.

Oh, my god.

Don't get too happy until you

Find tickets.

You don't know how happy

I am.

Don't get happy until you

Find tickets.

I can't believe it.

They flying us to jamaica.

Yep.

The th.

That's perfect.

I get fired in two weeks.

[Laughs]

[Bright tropical music]

♪

You're going to jamaica?

No.

We got a package of tokens to

Go to the bronx zoo.

[Laughter]

Jamaica, queens, right?

That's what it is?

And then I'm gonna see

Larry johnson.

I got to make arrangements to

Go see him.

You want to come with me?

You gonna come with me to the

Basketball game, to the

Meadowlands, to see him?

What's a meadowland?

The arena, meadowlands arena.

Oh, my god, I love him so much.

Oh, my gosh, we're going

To jamaica.

But I can tell him I'm going

To jamaica, and I will send him

Pictures of me.

Jamaica.

Oh, let me tell my friends.

Heavenly days.

Everybody's jealous.

Who are you calling?

My girlfriend.

Just to rub it in her face?

Yeah, basically.

If she's home.

She probably ain't home.

Call one of your friends, julie,

So I can hear you on the phone.

Who do you want me to call?

Nobody cares that I'm going

To jamaica.

What do you want--just call them

Up, "what are you doing?

Oh, you're sitting there

Watching tv?

I'm going to jamaica."

[Phone rings]

Hello?

You should have said, "hello,

I'm going to jamaica."

No, he's not, but I'm going

To jamaica.

[Laughs]

Who is this?

Oh, I thought you were gabe.

I'm sorry.

Bye.

That was jill.

She told me that jamaica can be

A dangerous place as well as a

Beautiful one.

Tell her to break out.

Who else can I call

And rub it in?

Let's call people

In the phone book.

Come on, let's call people.

Okay, well, who am i?

Anybody.

Make up a name.

Thelma and louise.

Okay, I get to be louise,

'Cause I hate the name thelma.

Okay, who you want to call,

A man or a woman?

Wait, what's her name?

Alice.

Wait, you got to do the

First one.

I'm laughing too hard.

Say, "is alice there?

Alice, oh, my gosh!"

Hi, is alice there?

Say you won it off the radio.

This is alice speaking.

Scream.

Hi, I'm going to jamaica.

[Laughter]

What?

Say, "alice, oh, my gosh!"

Thelma.

"Alice, I can't believe it."

You must have the wrong

Number.

[Both laughing silently]

Don't.

What'd she say?

"Who is this?

You have the wrong number."

[Laughter]

I'm going to jamaica.

Okay, call, um--

Anybody else want to play a

Game of pool?

No.

Shh, we callin' people house.

Who is this?

Gregory.

Probably I should ask

For greg.

Yeah.

Can I speak to greg?

Greg, oh, my gosh,

This is louise.

I won a trip to jamaica.

Can you believe it?

Oh, my gosh, I leave the th.

Can you believe it?

I can't believe it.

I'm going to jamaica.

[Laughs]

Oh, I just--well, I still got to

Call all my friends and tell

Them, so I got to go.

But, bye, greg.

[Laughter]

Louise with a southern accent...

Is going to jamaica.

Okay, okay.

Well, greg was a trouper.

He was.

He was like, "okay."

[Laughs]

Okay, that's cool.

Louise, I'm excited for you.

Jamaica is just so me.

It's just so right up my alley.

I think I will do well in

Jamaica.

I'm going to see

Larry johnson.

You're right. That compares.

Yeah, it does!

I never saw him.

All I did was dream about him.

Larry johnson--if she got to

Do one thing, that's what it

Would be: grab his tush.

I hope she gets to, 'cause maybe

Then she'll shut up.

[Upbeat dance music]

♪

Larry!

She shoots, she scores.

♪

I got to go see that game.

I don't care if I have to walk

To the meadowlands.

I got to go.

She shoots, she scores.

He's in this building, heather.

Larry johnson is

On the premise.

Have you seen larry johnson?

Who?

Larry johnson.

I don't know him.

I've got an incredible image

Going in my head that this is,

Like, a god--basketball god--

We're going to meet.

That's him right there.

In the middle of the court?

Tell larry to come here.

Tell his little friend to go

Get him.

When I first got there, I

Waved to him.

Children are going nuts

Wanting his autograph.

Look at all these little kids.

He came over to me, and he

Was like, "well, heather b.,

How are you?"

And I said, "larry, hey."

Hi.

Heather b., How you doing?

Fine.

You okay?

I heard you wanted

To meet me.

Yeah.

[Laughter]

Classic line.

I think that really got him in.

Pulled him in, got him closer.

Oh, my god!

He said, you know, "come--

Come, you know, talk to me

After the game."

Come on, larry!

[Horn buzzes]

Ohh!

Game over.

So after the game, we went back

There, and we waited.

You know, he took a long time

To come out,

Had me waitin' an hour.

What did you tell me

Right there?

I said I was glad you wanted

To meet me.

[Laughs]

He must have been like,

"This girl is crazy.

Who does she think she is,

Talking' about I want to

Meet her?"

And I don't even know, to this

Day, if he thought I was serious

Or not.

It was a joke.

I had to break the ice some

Kind of way.

Who is this now?

Who is this right here?

I'm julie.

That's my manager.

Okay, this is your manager?

Oh, yeah, she was the first

One that told me you wanted

To meet me, so...

I get the information, and I

Give it to heather.

That's right.

Julie take care of things.

Give him your phone number.

Give him your phone number.

Give him your phone number.

Give him your phone number.

[Laughter]

[Bright dance music]

♪

Okay, wait.

♪

We gave each other a big hug,

Like we've been friends for

Years, laughin' and talkin',

Huggin' and everything, and he

Was really, really nice to me.

Bye-bye, heather.

Bye, see you later.

Yah!

She shoots, she scores!

Yes, yes, yes!

Slipped the phone number to him.

Yes, he has the digits, yes.

You are so crazy.

I am champion of the world.

What time is it?

'Cause we got to get on the bus.

It's :.

All right, we going to

Jamaica, so who have time

For him?

Later.

Are you so excited?

I'm excited.

Do you think we missed the bus

Going back to new york?

I don't know when the last

Ones are.

They leave from gate b.

Call me crazy, but I don't

See a bus.

That one guy saw.

You, come here.

Come, stupid.

Come, stupid.

He don't know what we're saying.

Come on, stupid.

Here, stupid!

[Smooching]

Here, stupid!

We need a ride to new york.

Thank you for coming to the

Meadowlands, and arrive home

Safely.

Nice.

See?

Hey, you guys, tonight was my

Last night at tattoo.

What'd you get?

I got stripes.

Why, you quit?

Yeah, I'm done.

I have to pack.

I don't have a bathing suit.

You don't have

A bathing suit?

No.

You will get off the plane

Tomorrow at, like, :, and it

Will be degrees, and you

Could potentially be on the

Beach tomorrow by :, if

You're lucky.

Look at our tree, slowly dying.

Why don't you take our tree

To jamaica?

That's where it would be happy.

That tree would be so happy if

You took it to jamaica.

Which one, that one?

Just carry it on the plane.

Do it for norm.

Oh, so want to hear the jerry

Brown story?

My feeling is it doesn't

Matter who we vote for.

We've already gotten ourselves

Into deep...

Especially in this city.

What do you propose?

I don't think there's really

Much we can do, except--

I don't know, just, you know,

Try and do what you can do.

Hmm.

I just think it's important that

We keep our eyes open, 'cause

Everybody just does their own

Thing, you know--

I think that's the legacy of

The 's, "do your own thing,"

You know?

I'd like to see a big

Change come.

I don't want to see

A depression.

I don't want to see people out

Of work and suffering.

And this is a great country.

I think it's a great country.

What's great about it?

Don't you agree?

When I hear people say,

You know, this is a great

Country and stuff, I wonder

What they mean.

What do you mean?

Well, it's not yet, but what

I'm saying is, like, no matter

Where--it's obvious that it's

A melting pot.

Whoever founded it, founded it,

But we're here now, do you know

What I mean?

No, I don't think it's a

Melting pot.

Well, it is a melting pot.

Of course it is.

Melting means people melt

Together.

That isn't happening.

Well, it's a colony.

It's a group.

It's people from every different

Culture coming together.

But they're not coming

Together.

That's--utopia is beautiful,

You know what I mean?

I'm not even talking

About utopia.

But in a way you are.

No, I'm just saying that this

Land, right--this land that we

Live on, the physical land, is

Going to be here.

That was stolen from the

Indians will be here.

Well, chip on your shoulder

Or not, you know--

What do you mean, "chip on

Your shoulder?"

I think there's a lot of

Opportunity in this country.

Opportunity for what?

Opportunity?

They took one look at me, and

They were like, "no, we can't

Hire him."

You know what I'm saying?

Why not, becky?

The color of my [...] Skin.

That's an opportunity, becky?

Well, that's a very good

Speech, kevin, and I agree

With you--

Wait a minute, a good speech?

That's reality.

I'm sure that that happened

To you, and there's a reality

Because I'm female I don't get a

Lot of crap either.

But you know what, becky?

And I think it has

Potential still.

But you want another reality?

What's another reality?

If you look at the

Statistics, white women

Benefitted from the civil rights

Movement more than black people.

Look it up.

Then I'm the lucky one.

You are.

In a certain sense, you are.

That's good.

In a certain sense, you are.

Where is the opportunity,

Is my question to you.

Where is the opportunity?

I know that there aren't

All opportunities.

All I'm saying is that there's

A potential for some.

For some. For some.

There is a potential for it.

I'm saying that you and me and

Heather and norm and people like

Us can [...] Get together and

Make it better.

That's what I'm saying

Is potential.

That's a beautiful song for

You to put on your album, becky.

What do you mean a beautiful

Song to put on my album?

But I wonder how many of your

Friends you're going to pull

Into this.

I don't want to listen to

Your crap anymore.

Crap?

Do you think that what I'm

Saying is crap?

I would say it if I felt it,

'Cause I have no problem

Expressing my mind.

Well, I think what you're

Saying is crap.

I think we do have the ability

To do it.

That's part of the reason why

Nothing will ever change,

Because people insult each

Others' intelligence like that.

I'm not insulting your

Intelligence.

Just 'cause you said something

I don't agree with, I call it

Crap?

You're so used to thinking

That your way is right, when

Someone else challenges, you

Don't even know how to answer

The question, so you immediately

Get defensive and call it crap.

My point is, who gives

A [...] About farm ethics if

I live on rd street and

Amsterdam avenue?

Well, who gives a [...] About

Rd and amsterdam avenue if I

Live on a farm?

It's the same mentality.

Then don't accuse a black kid

Of coming down

To your neighborhood

And robbing you, then.

I never did.

Psht, that's what said

The first day you moved in

The [...] House.

You're a [...] r*cist, man.

A r*cist?

You are.

I'm not a r*cist.

You are.

How could I be a r*cist?

You are, man.

Why am I a r*cist?

What just suddenly made me

A r*cist, kevin?

Race plus power

Equals racism.

Think about it.

What--what power do I have,

Kevin?

I'm just sitting here hashing

Something out, and you call me

A r*cist.

If you and I went to

The same job and applied for it,

Who would get it?

I don't know, kevin.

You would get it.

How do you know?

I've gone through enough

Job interviews.

You know, you just [...]

Called me a r*cist.

'Cause you are.

Then don't hang out with me.

I haven't been hanging out

With you, becky, but it ain't

Even about that, you know what

I'm saying?

Yeah, you hung out with me

The other night.

You're just not listening

To what I'm saying or where

I'm from.

I've listened to everything

You've said.

No, you haven't.

Don't tell me what I

Haven't heard.

You can stand here

And call me a r*cist

And a flakey liberal--

That's my opinion.

And you can sit there--

Oh, it's your opinion.

So that's basically what you're

Calling me, but you have no

Idea, really, where I'm coming

From, 'cause you obviously

Haven't been listening to me.

Becky, I've listened to you

Today, and I've listened to you

Before, and that's my opinion.

Yeah?

Honestly, yeah.

In the real world, yes.

We've been at odds from the

Very beginning.

I haven't been at odds

With you.

Becky, you're the moodiest

Person in this apartment.

Everybody knows I'm moody.

You ask heather, she knows

I'm moody.

You ask julie, I'm moody.

Then what do you expect?

And you're not moody, honey?

But what do you expect,

Honey, you know what I'm saying?

Look, you're moody.

What do you expect, honey?

You know what I'm saying?

Would you like me to run down

Here everything that I go

Through every day, and then

You can understand why I busted

Into the apartment, 'cause I

Was pissed off, because I got

Stopped by the [...] Cops

On the highway?

How many times have you been

Stopped and spread against the

[...] Police car, honey?

How many times?

How many times?

I've never been stopped.

All right, then, you don't

Know how it [...] Feels, then.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Do you know what I'm saying?

I don't know what you're

Saying, because I've never been

In that position.

That's why I'm moody.

I was born [...] Moody.

Do you understand what I'm

Saying?

If you think I got a chip on my

Shoulder, that's why I got a

Chip on my shoulder.

That's why I'm [...] Angry,

You know what I'm saying?

Understand that.

My father ain't no research

Assistant--scientist.

My [...] Father ran away.

You know what I'm saying?

Do you understand that?

Can you relate to that?

What about me having a college

Education and still thinking

About selling drugs, because I

Can't get a job?

Do you understand all of that?

So basically you're hating me

Because I don't live your life.

I don't hate anyone,

Becky, but I'm saying at least

Try to understand where I'm

Coming from.

How can you expect me to?

I'm telling you now.

I'm telling you now.

I didn't live your life,

And I don't live your life now.

I'm telling you now, but

Don't call me moody.

What do you want me to do?

Don't call me moody.

Kevin, look, you got to

Understand my life isn't all

Roses and daisies, okay?

We all go through our own

Personal battles, and you can't

Tell me that.

I just know that the scales

Are tipped in certain people's

Favors and has been for a very

Long time, you know?

You don't know until you've

Walked in somebody else's shoes

Who's got a favor

And who doesn't.

[Laughs]

Young lady, i--

You're full of [...].

Your mother's full of [...],

Stupid b*tch.

Next on the real world...

[Bright tropical music]

♪

I think it sucks, the fact

That I did not go to jamaica.

And he freaked out.

I don't understand where he

Came in calling me, like,

What he did.

Hmm.

What time do they actually

Get up in the morning?

I don't know.

It varies.

I get up sometimes around

:, And they're usually up

At around--before that.

I never want to see :

In my life.

Never, unless I'm coming home.

And even that's too early.

[Laughs]