02x11 - Wedding Bells Ring

[bunniefuu]

[male narrator] Previously on "The Real World.."

That's Tim, my fiance.

Are we gonna come to the wedding?

- Yes, of course you are. - Oh, alright!

I missed him, it's hard to sleep by yourself

now that you've been sleeping with somebody for a while.

You're gonna miss us, you are.

You're gonna miss Jon, Jon's gonna miss you.

[Tami] He actually wanted to cry

because Irene was leaving.

[Dominic] This is the true story.

♪ True story ♪♪

[Tami] Of seven strangers.

[Jon] Picked to live in a house.

[Beth] And have their lives taped.

[Aaron] To find out what happens.

[Irene] When people stop being polite.

[Glen] And start getting real.

[male narrator] "The Real World"

California.

No, this is funny, this is funny.

My girlfriend Shana lives with two girls from UCLA

'and they got a calendar of men..'

...and guess who's in it?

Nine-O!

I wouldn't do a picture like that again.

She's got the picture of him, she said he has nothing on

all he has is a surfboard.

I kind of let the photographer

manipulate what he wanted me to wear.

I was extremely embarrassed.

I cannot wait to just drop the b*mb on Aaron.

[instrumental music]

[Jon] I didn't really say goodbye to Irene

uh, the last night she was here.

Uh, you know, I helped her bring her stuff out to the car.

[Aaron] 'So, you're leaving at dawn tomorrow.'

'Look at Irene just taking off and not even saying goodbye.'

I know it.

I'm not gonna wake you guys up.

- You better not. - That early in the morning.

- I know. - We're gonna see you Saturday.

I feel very sad

because I am gonna be leaving the house.

I'm gonna definitely miss spending time with her.

Irene for us, definitely was like a mom from, to begin with

and even though she's not that old and she's definitely

would be a hot mom to have.

[instrumental music]

Ow!

We talked one time about who was

with Irene, who was gonna be the boss

when she got married.

♪ Who's the man? Who's the man? Who's the man? ♪♪

[Aaron] Irene is a very hard-headed woman

but, at the same time, he seems

to put her in her place, and, so, I think that's good.

I would say Irene wears the pants in her relationship.

And I think that she generally has the say-so.

We both wear the pants in this little family.

- Good answer. - Thank you.

We were sitting around, Dom, I, and Aaron and Jon

talking to her, and she was telling us about Tim.

It just seemed like a, a big Hollywood story

but it was the truth, which is nice to know.

[Dominic] 'Are you gonna do the traditional thing'

'where you won't see Tim the night before?'

I'm sending him to his mom and dad's house that night.

- Really? - Yes.

Did you guys sign a pre-nup?

- No. - Good.

Actually, I make more than he does.

[Aaron] 'Uh-oh.'

[Dominic] 'Wha.. Oh, really?'

I was his training officer.

So, Tim just happened to join police guild

and his training officer shows up one day and it's you.

- Yes. - 'When did he ask you out?'

How did he ask you out?

I was really sick one afternoon

and I stayed home from work

and he goes, um, "Can I bring you dinner?"

And, so, I go, "Yeah, that's fine," so he went home

and made manicotti

brought me, um, a bottle of wine

brought me two videos.

Wow, one-in-a-million Tim.

[Irene] 'I end up falling asleep on the couch.'

- Good boy. - He carries me on to my bed.

Puts me in bed, and leaves and locks the door.

Strictly professional up to this point?

He didn't kiss till after the, like, third or fourth date.

- Good man. - Way to go, Tim.

How long before you slept together?

[Glen] 'Well, he just goes right to it!'

'Come on.'

I don't know, a couple months.

Bull [beep].

[instrumental music]

[Tami] We all decided to get together

and go shopping for Irene's wedding presents.

Irene.

- Something with a "B" - Uh, Barerra!

"Barerra" that's it, that's it. Very Spanish.

Oh, it prints what they say they want.

♪ The choice is yours ♪

♪ You can get with this or you can get with that ♪

♪ You can get with this or you can get with that ♪

"Steak and knife set."

♪ You can get with this or you can get with that ♪♪

"Four beer mugs."

I opted for the edible panties.

From the first day Irene moved into the house

she has been organizing this wedding.

[instrumental music]

The limo guy hasn't called me back yet

and I sent him a check, and I'm a little worried.

I just feel mentally

and physically exhausted.

I'm never going to get married again.

Last night Irene was here, she gave us these

she must have found these little buttons

that reminded, uh, reminded her of each of us individually.

This is for Glen, it's a button.

This is, this what I think of all you guys, okay?

Read it, read it, read it!

Is this a sarcastic, uh..

Yes, it is, of course it is.

'It says, "stay tuned, I cou-I could say something'

'brilliant at any moment."'

[Glen] 'This is for Beth, isn't it?'

No, no, no, that's for you.

- 'That's for you.' - That's for you.

[Tami] 'Oh, no!'

This one is for Dominic.

I don't know how to take it.

[laughs]

[Tami] 'What does it say, what does it say?'

[Glen] "What's wrong? Is it my hair?"

- No, this is nice. - It's cute.

Okay, this, this one's for Jon.

"I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up."

Okay, this is for, for, um, good old Aaron, there.

- 'What's it say?' - Oh, that's..

[Irene] '"It's not easy being cute."'

[all laughing]

[Glen] 'And even though he's not.'

This is just a joke.

[all laughing]

[Aaron] '"Someone has to be the b*tch."'

[instrumental music]

[Irene] All my housemates gave me several wedding presents

at the house last night.

I got the wok that I really wanted.

We got the beer mugs, which he wanted.

You know, this is like what Tim just absolutely loved the most

out of everything we picked.

I got the, um, champagne flutes that I picked and I wanted.

[Dominic] 'See, you know everything you got.'

[Tami] I know, it's no fun!

I didn't know I was getting crotchless underwear.

[laughing]

♪ Bow wow wow yippy yo yippy yay ♪

♪ Bow wow wow yippy yo yippy yay ♪♪

Beth.

Hold on one second. Yeah?

I-you weren't around to give you this pin

but this is something that

that I will remember you forever and ever

and I want you to have it.

[chuckles]

- Thank you. - 'You're welcome.'

The pin she gave me said something like

"I'm not as sweet and innocent as I seem."

There you go, this just reminds me too much of Beth.

'Cause I know you could be a bad girl.

I'm really not so sure what that, that pin meant

that she gave me..

...because I am a little angel.

Everyone keeps bugging me, "Beth, where's the calendar

where's the calendar, where's the calendar?"

What does he look like?

I just felt I was the king

poser, Joey, squid picture of my life.

Did he not tell anybody here in the house that he did that?

No, he's like, he's like, "I'd never do that.

That's the tackiest thing in the world."

That calendar is gonna be in my possession very soon.

And once that is, it's over.

[birds chirping]

♪ How do I ♪

♪ Say goodbye ♪

♪ To what we had? ♪

[Irene] This morning was my last morning at the house.

So, I told Tami, who had heard me getting up

that I was leaving, and she said

"Come give me a hug."

I almost started crying when

she asked me to do that

uh, but I didn't.

I went over to Beth's

and told her I was leaving.

Um, I told her I'd see her on Saturday and I'll be back.

♪ But forever's gone away ♪

♪ It's so hard to say goodbye ♪

♪ To yesterday ♪♪

And as I drove away, I did cry

because it was sad that, um

I wasn't gonna be living there anymore.

I-I'm gonna remember this

for a long time.

[music continues]

[Tami] It's, it's a lot different without Irene being here.

I think Irene was actually the most

stable person in the household.

Saturday is Irene's wedding.

Uh, mom left us.

It's kind of scary to think who's gonna take her place.

[instrumental music]

- Hello. - And the calendar is..

Oh, my God.

I've teased Aaron

numerous times about how I think that he's gonna

eventually end up doing these cheesy calendar pin-ups.

[Jon laughing]

[Jon] 'That's him!'

Let's see it, let's see it.

Wow, look at that!

- Let's make copies. - Aaron!

Aaron says, "No, you gotta be kidding me.

"I would never stoop myself to that level.

I would never do something that stupid or that cheesy."

Basically, he said, "I'm above that."

- 'Oh, my God.' - 'Yeah.'

This is gonna be fun tonight.

[instrumental music]

[Jon] Beth saw the opportunity to get even with Aaron

for constantly calling Beth a psycho

constantly putting Beth down in every single way.

- Robert, hi. - 'Hi.'

This is a very special project.

[Jon] So, when Beth saw the opportunity

to use Aaron as the butt of a joke

we all agreed that that was the right thing to do.

[Beth] We decided to get, uh, two full blown-up posters

and black and white copies.

- So, three o'clock ? - 'Yeah.'

Okay, take good care of that, Robert.

And it was the best $ I think we've spent

since we've been in this place.

[instrumental music]

We came home and we just

started going at it, going at it.

As I was putting those pictures up

I just knew that Aaron was gonna flip

because he was gonna feel like such a Joey.

That's a pretty boy for you.

I thought that the picture of Aaron was absolutely hilarious

because that picture stands for everything that Aaron

claims that he's against.

[Jon] 'Yeah, we need that.'

'We need to stay up on the roof'

until we see his car coming.

[Beth] Everybody was like on the lookout.

Jon was, like, the watchtower

up at the top of the house.

We were just waiting for him to come home.

Aaron comes home

"Aaron, hi, how ya doin'? Guys, Aaron's home."

And he-he, like, got halfway

up the stairs until he realized

"Oh, my God, I just stepped on my face!"

[Aaron] 'You guys suck!'

[instrumental music]

Welcome home, nine-o!

[beep]

Oh, my.. That is such a burn.

I got him, I burned him, I burned him bad.

I loved every millisecond.

Dude, this is such a huge

huge burn on me, it's unbelievable.

[Dominic] Aaron more or less [beep] a brick.

But if he hadn't said those fatal words

"Oh, I would never do that"

then it wouldn't have been a problem.

What am I gonna do?

- "Oh, you guys, by the way.." - No, I was teasing you about--

"By the way, I did this really stupid thing my junior year--"

Aaron, didn't I say, Aaron, you'll probably end up

posing in those calendars, then you said

'"No, I'd never do that."'

You know what, that's fine, that's right.

I did sell myself to the devil

but it was for a good cause.

No, not to the devil, just to all the little

teeny boppers in the whole world!

[Tami] I really didn't expect him to get as angry.

I thought he'd get just a little bit mad

and then laugh it off, but he really got angry about it.

He didn't like it at all.

You guys just r*ped me.

[all laughing]

I'm never gonna be able to go out in the water again

somebody's gonna beat the [beep] out of me.

[Beth] 'Oh, Aaron, quit being so dramatic.'

Were you drunk?

You're an [beep] hole.

You are such an [beep] hole. I can't believe it.

I only found out about it.

Two weeks ago!

[all laughing]

Dominic, you betrayed me.

[Tami] 'That's only because we love you.'

As far as him taking some shots at me for not protecting him

I explained to him that there was no way I was gonna

stop people from doing what they were doing.

I thought it was funny.

It's so great how you guys enjoy

making other people feel bad.

Welcome to the club, Aaron.

It's not too funny when it happens to you.

[Beth] 'What, this is the first time he's ever'

'been the butt of a joke?'

'That's right, didn't know how to handle it.'

How many times have I been the butt of a joke, okay?

[Glen] 'Quite a few.'

[Aaron] 'My personal mission'

every single one of you

I'm gonna find something out.

- You'll all pay! - We have nothing to hide.

If he finds something on me, I'd have to congratulate him

'cause I think I've told everybody everything.

There's some people in this house who know stuff

that I wish they didn't know now.

I'm sure I'll be able to get some [beep] on you.

- Not on me. - Not on me.

Honestly, dude, I did not want to do it.

I only did it 'cause it was a friend--

You should have said something to us

like, "I had to do one thing".

Why, why would I tell you that, though?

Number one, you said you were totally

against doing this kind of stuff.

I never said that.

[Jon] By him standing here telling Beth

you know, "You're a liar, I never said that."

If there was a liar in the situation

it was Aaron because he did say it, 'cause I was there.

Do you realize what this can do to my life?

This was my turn to just get him back.

Just to let him know how it feels.

You guys have seriously got to take that down.

Actually, I will take a few down 'cause I wanted

to put some under my kitty litter.

♪ This time you've gone too far ♪

♪ This time you've gone too far ♪

♪ This time you've gone too far ♪

♪ I told you I told you I told you I told you ♪

♪ This time you've gone too far ♪

♪ This time you've gone too far ♪

♪ This time you've gone too far ♪

♪ I told you I told you I told you I told you ♪♪

[Aaron] It was a good practical joke

and it, it burned me pretty hard

so...I can take it like a man.

Pretty much.

You're such a good friend.

I can't wait till you get in a bind.

"Aaron, I'm stuck in the airport

'I need a ride home."'

'Yeah, up yours, Dominic.'

[Dominic laughing]

[Jon] 'Beth, get out of bed!'

[instrumental music]

♪ It's a nice day for a white wedding ♪

[Irene] It's sinking in now that I'm gonna be getting married

and it scares the hell out of me.

♪ Nice day for a white wedding ♪

You don't trip walking down that aisle, Irene.

[Tim] 'I think I should wear those green boots.'

- What do you think? - 'Whatever you think.'

I could just see it up there, sneezing

having a sneeze attack, right there.

Actually, it'd look pretty good, wouldn't it?

[music continues]

- Ow! Ooh, ooh, ooh. - Sorry.

She burnt my ear, too, don't worry.

Green boots?

I'm getting cotton mouth.

♪ It's a nice day for a white wedding ♪♪

[Aaron] Dominic has got this Hawaiian-Turkish ensemble

and he's gonna be wearing that with his black suit.

No tie for you?

- Jon. - What's that?

Where can I put a tie on this shirt?

Jon is probably gonna look something from, uh, Dallas.

So, are you gonna wear a hat, your cowboy hat?

'Irene's wearing cowboy boots herself.'

She's wearing cowboy boots underneath her wedding dress?

'I find that extremely hard to believe.'

Ride 'em cowboy. Hee-haw!

Tami will definitely, probably have something that is

very, uh, I don't know probably risque.

I'll probably be the most conservatively

dressed, I'm sure.

We're leaving in five, anybody got the directions?

No.

No one knows how to get there? Hello?

[Dominic] 'Is anyone alive?'

[Aaron] 'Beth, we gotta go, it's :!'

This is far [beep] away.

[Tami] Is it really, what's it near?

- [beep] we gotta take off. - '?'

The goes like that.

The goes like this.

Now, the joins up with the .

- Beth? - 'Yeah, I'm ready.'

[Jon] 'Beth is like a half hour from being ready 'cause--'

Well, I-I'm leaving right now.

I am so ready now.

All I have to do is find my shoes.

Hey, Dom, the doesn't join up with the .

You sure?

[clattering]

[Tami] 'The joins up with the .'

Oh, that's what I meant.

We gotta get out of here.

Beth!

[Aaron] 'Do you have the little map?'

My hair is still wet.

[instrumental music]

- Tami. - 'Yes, darling.'

Can you envision, or even think for a second

what the man you marry will be like?

[giggles]

'I need to know, Tami.'

No, I said I wanted him to be

a very strong-minded person

but he'd have to know when to agree with me.

[Dominic] 'Aah!'

I would look for someone that I would like to marry.

Probably younger than me.

Somebody who definitely doesn't do drugs.

Attractive.

Too wild or too crazy.

Free.

I want someone who's gonna

make me happy.

Jon said the cutest thing the other day.

"Irene, don't marry Tim, marry me."

[organ music]

[music continues]

[Dominic] Irene looked as beautiful as ever

just like I expected her to.

[Jon] It's only natural when you're at a wedding that

you start thinking of the day when you will get married.

You know, then, it actually hit home that

Irene was really getting married and really moving on.

Now, please be seated.

Timothy and Irene, you have come together in this church..

[Dominic] Irene looks the marrying type.

Tim's a very lucky guy.

I bet she'll treat him real good.

Now, I ask you to please join your right hands..

...and repeat after me.

[male #] 'I, Timothy Kerns..'

I, Timothy Kerns..

'...take you, Irene Barerra..'

...take you, Irene Barerra..

'...to be my wife.'

...to be my wife.

'I promise to be true to you..'

I promise to be true to you..

'...in good times and in bad..'

[Tim] '...in good times and in bad..'

'...in sickness and in health.'

...in sickness and in health.

'I will love you and honor you.'

I will love you and honor you

'All the days of my life.'

All the days of my life.

[Dominic] I hope then this is her

last marriage, her only marriage.

And that herself and Tim enjoy each other's company

and are happy for the rest of their lives.

And, certainly, you know, with God's blessing, they will.

[male #] 'And, now, it is my pleasure'

'to introduce to this wonderful group of people'

Mr. And Mrs. Timothy Kerns.

[applause]

♪ Don't need to pump this party ♪

[instrumental music]

[Tami] The reception was a lot of fun.

We went on and moved on to doing

these silly dances on the dance floor.

♪ Yo DJ pump this party ♪

[Dominic] Something I'm quite proud of

is my prowess at the hokey pokey.

I've practiced at many a wedding.

♪ Why waste your time ♪

♪ You know you're gonna be mine ♪

♪ You know you're gonna be mine ♪

♪ You know you're gonna be mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna get you baby ♪

♪ I'm gonna get you yes I am ♪

♪ I'm gonna get you baby ♪

♪ I'm gonna get you yes I am ♪♪

[Aaron] I-I thought Irene's wedding was

kind of like a big family event.

It was really neat, i-it seemed like

a lot of people there were very close.

Everyone was the uncle or the cousin of someone.

[Dominic] You know, we were trying, I guess, to get in

the spirit of things, it was kind of difficult

because the only person we knew at the wedding

was Tim and Irene.

Alright, pucker up.

[Beth] Throughout the whole thing, Jon was just like

crushed because Irene is no longer gonna be around

and Jon's gonna be upset for a while, I think.

[male #] 'This is a song that Tim wrote himself'

'for his new bride.'

And sang, and sings it!

[male #] 'And sings it, too.'

[Aaron] For Jon, Irene's wedding

was probably the most difficult for him because he had become

very close and attached to Irene.

♪ Yesterday you gave your heart to me ♪

♪ Waiting for that special moment to be free ♪

[Tami] We were giving Jon a really hard time

because he was so sad that day.

He actually wanted to cry.

[Beth] He looked like somebody ran over his puppy or something.

I felt so bad for him.

He was like, "I just want to go home.

I just want to go home."

[Tami] And we all came up with the conclusion

that he had fallen in love with Irene.

He was happy that she was getting married to Tim

because he's a really great guy

but he too loved her in a different way.

[Beth] And he was in love with all the qualities that

Irene possessed and he wants a girl just like her

and...she's gone now.

♪ Two of us together ♪

♪ I'll always be a part of you ♪♪

[male narrator] On the next "Real World.."

Hello.

- 'You called the tow truck?' - 'Jon?'

You guys, his car is totally gone.

[Aaron] 'Now you're pissed off at me?'

I'm missing every ounce of humor in this.

I thought our new roommate was gonna be black!

Not necessarily gorgeous.

A really attractive female.

April Playmate.

Supermodel.

Hello.

I do posters like that.

If I could make the, uh, m-make a lot of money

of course. I'm not stupid.

I'm not saying I wouldn't do it, I'm just saying that

um, I wouldn't be comfortable doing it.

I don't care, of course, I'd do that for

, bucks, heck, yeah.

Seeing as I have no income right now

grand sure sounds good to me.

I'd probably do it for five grand.

Doesn't take much to make me happy.

Sure, everyone has their price.

I'd probably drop way below that price.