02x14 - Troubling Careers

[bunniefuu]

[female narrator] Previously on "The Real World.."

[Tami] My ultimate desire

is to, to be singing

and for everyone to love what I'm doing.

[Beth S.] I, uh, decided to start taking some acting classes.

You're too tense, this is the first time

you've ever done this.

Sweet.

[laughing]

- Pull away. - Pull away.

[Dominic] This is the true story..

♪ True story ♪

[Tami] Of seven strangers..

[Jon] Picked to live in a house..

[Beth] And have their lives taped..

[Aaron] To find out what happens..

[Beth] When people stop being polite..

[Glen] And start getting real..

[male narrator] In "The Real World," California.'

♪ Hi girl ♪♪ Hi girl ♪

♪ Hi girl ♪♪ Hi girl ♪

[Beth S.] I believe Tami will make it.

I think whenever any of us go after

if we put our minds to it %

I think we'll all get what we want.

I put a lot of pressure on myself

but right now, I really don't know what I want.

But I know I'll get what I want

because that's just the, the way I am.

And then when I get it, that won't be good enough for me.

[Tami] I'm trying to get my body in shape.

I'm-I'm gonna start a very, uh, vigorous workout plan.

I-I must get my body back into shape.

I've been really slacking.

I've been slacking off on a lot of things

since I've moved into the house.

God dang! My muscles hurt.

Can you stay still for a minute?

- My hair on my chin? - Yeah.

God, Jon!

"Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin.

Little pig, little pig, whack me in."

♪ Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin ♪♪

[Tami] 'I think you as an actress.'

If you're excellent at your craft

and true to your work

then, if you're good, they'll take you

no matter what you look like.

Plus, who you know and it's how you look.

- It's definitely who you know. - It's definitely who you know.

No, but it is, it's, it's based on how you look first.

[Jon] I hope that Beth, uh

find somethin' that she likes to do and be successful at it.

'Cause she's trying really hard to be an actress.

And I'm not sure that, uh,

you know, I-I don't think she's very confident in it

right now, because I don't know

you know, how good of luck she's having.

[Beth S.] Everybody in Los Angeles is an actor.

Everybody's something else than what they're doing.

Casting.

Just like I like production work

and I like to act too.

Craig from Sag for Joe.

I had to get these pictures taken

because you need a headshot, so they can submit you

for parts to casting directors.

So until I have a good headshot

I'm really not gonna get sent out for anything.

♪ And oh my dreams ♪

♪ It's never quite as it seems ♪

♪ Never quite as it seems ♪

♪ Then I open up and see ♪

♪ The person falling here is me ♪♪

Nice. Good. Open it up, yeah.

Nice big smile, great.

- 'Yeah, when can I have them?' - Wednesday.

So call me Wednesday, I'll drop them off tomorrow.

Okay.

- Thank you. - My pleasure, you're a doll.

Thank you.

But you know what though

I mean, especially, like living in Los Angeles

there's so much pressure to, like

look flawless and perfect.

Especially in the entertainment industry.

You know what, they had a show where a lady

had gotten, like a, a breast job

and the doctor put the nipple

in the center of her chest.

What?

- You're disgusting. - 'I'm serious.'

- Shut up. - He was.. No, I'm serious.

Would you ever get any plastic surgery done?

No, I wanted a liposuction though.

'I wouldn't change anything'

but I wanted that fat sucked out.

[Tami] As far as my group is concerned

everybody brings something special to the group

but there's one girl in particular in my group

that can really, really sing.

And with the right marketing for everybody else

including her, the group looks great.

You know, the videos, the clothing, the concept

of the group, all of that comes into play now.

It's-it's not really how much talent the group has.

Okay, let's have some smiles. Beautiful. Let's have fun.

Okay. Heel to heel.

- 'Oh.' - Oh.

Have it up. Beautiful.

And smile.

I do see myself on stage

performing and making people happy.

Yeah, that's what I would like to happen.

You know, I'm just gonna work hard to..

...to try to make it happen.

[Beth S.] 'Gotta pick up my pictures right around the corner'

[Jon] 'He said :. Go see if they're ready.'

[Tami] 'Oh, okay.'

[indistinct chatter]

- I don't wanna look. - Now, let's see in there.

- You don't have to. - Wait, let me look first.

Hm. Some of them won't be nice.

- This is a good one right here. - 'Which one?'

- How much did it cost? - Twenty five bucks.

- 'Oh.' - Well, no, I paid .

And I had to pay

to get it developed.

Yeah, great.

[phone ringing]

Media Artist Group.

'Hold on, please.'

Hey, hi, I'm sorry, how you doin'?

- Good. How are you? - Okay.

I had another clients at lunch today, so come on in.

- Great. - Okay.

So what do we have here? What do we have here?

Finally, yeah.

Look, these are her, these are her shots here.

Oh, my God, let's see there.

- That's.. - No, these are not gonna work.

- 'That one's not gonna work.' - 'No.'

[female #] 'Not at all.'

'We're not gonna push you in that market.'

Do you like this one here, Gloria?

- That seems.. - No, the hair is..

- The hair is weird. - This too.

You see, also she's not really comfortable with the camera.

I mean, it's cutesy and all that, but unh-unh.

It doesn't, look, I think what's keeping you

'from really being accepted here is the pictures.'

'So we had to, like, sort of, like..'

He wanted me to get a reshoot.

So now, I've gotta go

hunting for another photographer

and, uh, try and come up with some more money

to take some headshots because if you don't

have a headshot, you don't have anything.

♪ You whipped it on me Oh yes ♪

♪ I must confess your love is all that ♪

♪ And then some and never too much ♪

♪ And never less so baby keep it coming ♪

♪ Cause you're the only one that can love me like the way ♪

♪ It should be done I'm a prisoner of your love ♪♪

You lost a little bit of the timing halfway through.

Do you wanna take a second just to give your best?

[Tami] We were working with the producer

who was very opinionated, very arrogant

very..

...just in his ways.

♪ I'm a sl*ve I'm a sl*ve ♪

♪ I'm a sl*ve I'm a sl*ve I'm a sl*ve to your loving ♪

No, it's..

♪ I'm a sl*ve I'm a sl*ve I'm a sl*ve ♪

♪ I'm a sl*ve I'm a sl*ve I'm a sl*ve to your loving ♪

- That's what I did. - No.

- I didn't? - No, you're going..

♪ I'm a sl*ve I'm a sl*ve I'm a sl*ve to your loving ♪♪

That's what you're doing. You're singing it on the beat

when it's-it's a triplet fail.

[Tami] Our producer was the one

of the hardest man to work with.

Anybody else's ideas just didn't matter.

If they didn't come for him, from him

they weren't, they weren't the right thing.

♪ Whip it on me ♪

♪ Hook me up in chains ♪

♪ Cause it ain't no shame ♪

♪ It's a game and the fact remains ♪

♪ That I will always have forever ♪

♪ Make it plank 'cause I'm a ♪

You're, you're a little too straight ahead.

- Do you hear it? - Mm-hmm.

We'll try it one more time. Let's go.

I'm trying to do different things.

Yeah, with more attitude. Here we go.

♪ So baby keep it coming 'cause you're the only one ♪

♪ That can love me like the way it should be done ♪

♪ I'm a prisoner above your love ♪

♪ ...one that can love me like the way ♪

♪ It should be done ♪

[Tami] It became extremely hard to even work with him.

Show that one more time.

♪ I'll be a prisoner never will I complain of me up in ♪

[male #] 'We're going like that, okay?'

[Tami] We got a call, he said, uh

"You know, I don't think it's gonna work."

We're starting over.

It's hard 'cause you think you're here one minute

and then the next minute, you're not.

You're not there or even close.

[Jon] Tami deals with HIV patients day in and day out.

Actually she's told us stories about how

she's actually watched some of, uh

the people she sees everyday die.

And it, uh, it bothers her.

This is the list of the medications we dispense here.

'When we start issuing new drugs..'

[Tami] It's really hard when you get attached to the clients

and you have to face the fact that eventually

one day they're not gonna walk in your door with that smile.

It's taking its toll on me.

Are up for A*DS awareness class?

Yeah, I'm gonna be up for that. Of course, I am.

Yeah.

[doorbell rings]

- Come on in. - Thanks.

[Jon] Tami organized a HIV seminar

with one of the guys she worked there

from work, guy named Mike.

And he comes in with a condom hanging from his ear.

[Glen] When Mike f-first walked in, I noticed these earrings

on his ear. I didn't know they were Trojans.

They were too colorful, you know.

I mean, I wouldn't walk around LA

with a condom hanging from my right ear.

Uh, but obviously this guy was makin' a statement.

[Mike] 'If we took this little environment'

'and that you're living in this house'

'and decided this experiment'

would become a biosphere, if you will

and-and this would be the end of your life

that none of you were HIV positive

you would never become HIV positive.

You have to have it introduced.

'And the way we know to introduce it is by someone.'

'People who are young will come to me and say'

Well, I don't have to worry about it

because it's only that, you-you guys, my age

you know, who haven't?

'I think the truth is we have to assume'

that everybody's positive.

'Cause certainly everybody is potentially positive.

And I think everybody was real attentive and really interested

and I think that everybody did realize

it was a problem that we were all facing.

We have to stop lying

that kids don't have sex.

Being afraid to talk about condoms.

[Beth] I hope other people in the house

got something out of him coming.

If anything, they got some condoms

and hopefully, they'll use them when they need to.

I couldn't believe that we were sitting there puttin'

condoms on bananas.

Beth, uh, Anthony got really excited

about that, I don't know for what reason

or previous exposure to vegetables and fruit was.

[laughing]

Everybody was tryin' on the Trojans

and they were puttin' them on the bananas.

I decided I'd save the Trojans and eat the banana.

And I use a condom all the time.

I mean, we all had our mistakes

'cause it's : at night.

You got a woody the size of a station wagon.

You're not even thinkin' straight.

Just don't even think about sex without a condom.

Is the attitudes are changing in society? Yes.

It's because we're all knowing somebody who's infected.

'You are dealing with a lot of friends'

'who are sick, you've, you've'

'dealt with friends who are dying.'

'Tami has dealt with clients who have died'

'or who have left the clinic because they've gotten so sick'

'and we don't track them anymore.'

I found I was positive in..

...November of '.

And, um..

...at that point in time, all you did

'was you took vitamins, then you rested.'

And you waited to die, I mean that was the truth

because there were, there wasn't even AZT.

There wasn't anything.

[Jon] I guess if someone in Owensboro, Kentucky

said I have HIV

I think that, and this-this is not a good thing

but I think that they would probably

uh, not get a whole lot of compassion.

So me livin' and growing up in Owensboro, Kentucky

uh, probably is among those who didn't realize

there was such a problem until I got out here.

And, um, I think that

you do have to realize it's a problem.

You can't just sit back and say well, it doesn't concern me

'cause it does concern, uh, everybody.

[Tami] There are a lot of patients

at-at my center that I've become attached to.

A lot of people that I care about.

At first, I thought I could handle

meeting people and becoming involved with them

and not getting so attached

but lately, more and more of my clients have started to

they're slipping away.

And I see that each and every time that they come

into the office, so I don't think

that I wanted to work there anymore and I am

trying to find another job because it's really

starting to take its toll on me.

It's pretty rare that

Tami kind of, like, opens up

to like show you what she's feeling

or thinking inside.

I like my job. I've always loved my job.

And just recently, I feel like I hate that job.

That was like the worst job for me.

I'm gonna be stuck working

for the State of California for the rest of my life.

I'm not gonna do any other things that I aspired to do.

That I went to school to do, you know.

I just really like no matter what I do

I'm not happy doing it and I don't know why.

I can't figure out what's gonna make me happy.

I feel

that I'm always

that I always have to try and like prove

something to everybody.

Like I'm being judged by everybody.

That's probably because you are.

Oh, I guess I am.

See that's weird, 'cause you wanted a job as a casting agent.

You got a job a casting agent.

Now you're not happy.

I'm confused. I'm confused.

I still got my youth.

Yeah, well, get the hell out of here.

[laughs]

[Tami] 'I had a big acting debut.'

- Did you see "Boyz N The Hood?" - Yeah.

Okay, you know where they had that big barbeque

where Trey comes back.

'I'm in the-the kitchen'

talking with Trey, but the first time I did it

the first take I went

"Boy, you better go outside."

And he's gone.

I totally sucked, man.

And then I said "Okay, I'm just too nervous.

I'm just too nervous."

And he is like "Okay, take two."

I'm into my take

he was like "Okay, that's a wrap. Print."

Actually, Tami has no...idea

what she wants to do.

We're both not really doing

what we wanna do and I think we're just

both really frustrated.

♪ I could dream all day ♪

♪ I could dream all day ♪♪

[Beth S.] The one play that I want to do

that I am working on with a friend right now

that, um, we wanna do a showcase

and we're gonna put in the ad in, uh, "Drama-Logue"

and see what kind of response we get

from people sending in their

their headshots and resumes and hold the auditions

and put on a showcase.

[female #] 'I'm in love with this guy, Tommy.'

'He is driving me crazy, yeah.'

'He's rippin' my heart out and stepping on it, yes.'

'But I can live with that.'

♪ It's a tragedy ♪

♪ But I'll be alright ♪

[male #] 'Yeah, he literally alters a landscape'

what you can do musically.

♪ He lived in California ♪

♪ He didn't even leave me for some other woman ♪

[opera singing]

[Beth S.] We're not doing the play to make money at all.

we're doing it strictly as a showcase

for casting directors and agents in that set.

♪ Leaveme yeah♪

♪ Forsorrow♪

♪Of a woman ♪♪

- Great. - That was great.

- Good job. - 'Thank you.'

Strangely enough, I do believe..

[laughs] ...things that psychics tell me.

I do go to a psychic.

- Hi. How are you? I'm fine. - 'Hi.'

- It is so good to meet you. - Come on in.

[Tami] If the psychic tell me

I was gonna be rich and famous

and I was gonna have lots and lots of money

so I'm trusting her here.

[female #] The doors are gonna start to open up for you.

So it says, you have to go for what you want.

It seems like a lot of things

are goin' on around you right now.

'That's what I'm picking up from the psyche'

'of the turning points in your life.'

Now see this lady, she's-she's busy

but she's feeling good. You know what I mean?

Alright, so this is like the space that you have right now.

And definitely you're satisfied with your job.

- Okay? - Really?

[laughs]

I'm quitting, I don't know how satisfied I could be.

[female #] 'This is someone bringing you something.'

'But someone offering you a new position.'

But it looks like, maybe more than a job

it maybe like a career change

or your career move, okay?

[Tami] She told me absolutely nothing

that could possibly affect my life.

She said a lot of wonderful things.

Don't get me wrong.

She was, she was very insightful

about someone, it just wasn't me.

[man on TV] 'Well, and you got your electronics degree'

'in just two years?'

Yeah, an associate's degree.

I'm workin' on my bachelors.

- 'Five years, right?' - Try three.

[man on TV] 'Call ITT Tank.'

[Tami] I saw this commercial on TV

for this technical institute called ITT and I went down

called the facility, went down for an orientation.

♪ What will you do for me? ♪♪

And I did really well.

I actually made my project work. And I felt so good.

Cause I'm so bad when it comes to putting things together.

And I did it, I read the directions

and I put on these little pieces on this pin board together

and my two little LED lights lit up

and I was just totally fascinated by it.

These like, this, uh, computer thing

obviously passing interest.

I don't know what she's looking for.

[Beth A.] I don't think it's really what is it

about Tami that makes her do all these things right now.

It's, what is it about any individual

when they're, when they're coming to an age

of realizing they need to make some choices.

I feel that each and every person

should be happy with themselves.

They should love themselves.

They should be pleased to present themselves

to other people.

And at this particular point in my life

I-I'm not happy with my, my, my body.

I'm not happy with myself.

So, I, I go through the steps

the necessary steps..

...to make myself happy.

I have a tendency to eat too much.

♪ When I look in the mirror ♪

♪ Do you like what you see ♪♪

[Tami] People look at me and they say

"You know, you are

you are thin, you're not fat."

But when I look at myself

when I take my close up, I'm not happy with my body.

Getting my mouth wired

um, everyone thinks I'm crazy to do this.

I'd probably be talking a little bit like this

like Thurston Howell III from "Gilligan's Island."

Use Vaseline or lipstick

or Vaseline lip therapy.

It keeps your lips moist anyway, but you can't lick 'em.

- I know. - I know how to shut down.

Oh, this is so weird.

Tami doesn't even need to lose any weight.

That's what kills me.

I would never ever wire my jaw shut.

For her to get her jaw wired shut is asinine.

Doesn't make sense to me.

I think she should

maybe take the $ and maybe

go see a psychologist or something

and maybe find out, you know, what's going on

with why she thinks that she needs to lose weight.

If you can eat anything right now, what would you have?

A chicken taco from across the street.

This is going on for three weeks.

Please, people, stop talking about it.

[Jon] 'Three weeks, you're gonna be talking like that?'

Tami, what's wrong with

being, you know, the way you are?

Everybody in the house thinks, they think I'm crazy.

That it's a waste of time.

But for me..

...nobody can live my life.

It's getting to the point with my job

where, um, I really..

...do not like to come to work.

It's really hard for me.

And I've never been a person

to, to stay in a situation

for security or for safety.

Is Wendy in with somebody?

I just leave it if I am not happy with it

and I deal with the, the aftermath later.

[female #] 'Are you coming to talk to me?'

- Yes. - 'Okay.'

I'm leaving.

Hm, what kind of notice are you giving me?

I'm leaving today.

You're leaving today, right now?

I was trying to contemplate on whether

I'll be able to stay for two weeks or however many days

and I'm just really not happy.

How about you give me three or four more days

so that I can get someone in here to replace you?

'We might even give you a cake or something'

if you stay till Thursday.

- Okay. - 'You think you can do that?'

- I will do that. - You will?

Thank you, I appreciate that.

[Tami] And it's hard and it hurts me because..

...I don't let people in.

But when I do

to-to witness that, to witness them

just deteriorating

it hurts.

So, you know, I don't wanna do it anymore.

And I don't know if I am giving up on that

if I am walking away from that

if I'm not being strong enough

then that bothers me.

That really bothers me.

[phone rings]

[male narrator] On the next "Real World.."

[man on phone] 'This is Jon Brian.'

This movie guy calls me.

He even might wanna put me in one of his movies.

He lifts the skirt of her dress

and they begin to make love, Jon.

Angry love, rebellious love.

I don't make mad angry love.

Well, what kind of love did you wanna make?

Nice sweet love.

♪ Flat on the ground ♪

I love it.

Wow.

♪ Feel my heart beat feel my heart beat ♪

♪ I can feel it I can feel it ♪

♪ Feel my heart beat feel my heart beat ♪

♪ I can feel it ♪♪