02x08 - The Package

[bunniefuu]

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

Grft: [ roars ]

Uncle grandpa: good morning.

Good morning!

Pizza steve: who needs

Overpriced tanning salons when

I've got a sky full of natural

Sunlight and my good old

Microwave king-brand satellite

Dish?

Golden brown, here I come!

Mr. Gus: let's see what's on

The old satellite tv today.

So, then, you take your rump

Roast and place it in the oven

At 480 degrees.

Mr. Gus: aah!

Pizza steve, get your butt off

The satellite dish!

Get down from there!

[ Clank! ]

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Clank! ]

Aah!

Uncle grandpa: ugh!

[ Pop! ]

Hey, who put this box here?

Hmm.

It doesn't say who it's from or

Who it's to.

Hey, guys, come out here!

I've got something to show you!

[ Poink! Poink! ]

Aaah!

Oh, there you are.

Does this package belong to you?

Mr. Gus: I've never seen it

Before.

Uncle grandpa: how about you,

Mr. Pizza steve?

Pizza steve: it's probably

Just a gift from one of my many

Fans.

I'll just pop it open and see

What they got me.

Mr. Gus: whoa, there!

It could just as easily be from

One of my many fans.

Both: [ laughing ]

Mr. Gus: well, it could!

The point is, we don't know who

It's for.

We should just leave it where we

Found it.

Someone might be looking for it.

Pizza steve: I say finders,

Keepers, losers, et cetera.

Mr. Gus: give me that!

You know it doesn't belong to you!

Uncle grandpa: come on,

Mr. Gus.

Aren't you even a little curious

About what's inside?

It's probably a cow who likes to

Race cars and go bowling.

Mr. Gus: somehow, I doubt it.

Uncle grandpa: well, then,

What do you think it is?

Mr. Gus: I can't say for

Sure, but it is about the right

Size for a box full of vintage

Easy-listening records.

"A hundred and one

Harmonicas" -- I love this

Record!

Mr. Gus: [ crunching ]

Mmm!

Pizza steve: I sure hope it's

Not full of anything lame like

That.

If you're gonna imagine what's

Inside, imagine something good,

Like diamonds -- diamonds on a

High-definition television.

Oh, yes!

Classic pizza steve.

Ohh!

Belly bag: yes, of course,

That is a possibility.

But it could just as easily be

Full of foreign knock-off purses

Who'll do anything for an

American visa.

[ Giggling ]

Uncle grandpa: geez,

Belly bag, you need to get out

More often.

Now it's my turn to make a

Thought balloon and imagine

What's inside the box.

Oh, boy -- lookit that!

It's that cardboard box I've

Always wanted!

[ Sniffing ]

Ah-ah-ah-choo!

I vote we open it and find out

What's really inside.

Pizza steve: that's what I've

Been saying.

Let's pop this mama jama open.

Mr. Gus: whoa!

Cool your jets there, buddy.

I still don't think we should

Open something that potentially

Doesn't belong to us.

Uncle grandpa: hmm.

Hey, I know.

Let's flip for it.

Heads -- we open it.

Tails -- we don't.

[ Pop! Creak! ]

[ Whiffle! ]

[ Thud! ]

Ohh!

Mr. Gus: oh, well.

I guess that's --

Pizza steve: hey, mr. Gus,

What's that thing over there?!

Mr. Gus: what's what?

Pizza steve: [ grunts ]

Never mind.

Look -- heads!

Mr. Gus: what the...

[ Sighs ]

Whatever.

Pizza steve: I'll go ahead

And take the liberty of opening

It up for us.

Of course, that means I get

First dibs.

[ Laughs ]

[ Grunting ]

All right, almost got it.

[ Groans ]

Just got to get under this tape.

What a stubborn little thang.

You know what?

On second thought, I'll let you

Open it, uncle g.

Just wanted to loosen it up for ya.

Uncle grandpa: thanks,

Pizza steve.

Mr. Gus: uncle grandpa, you

Can't use a dangerous butter

Knife like that.

This is a kids' show.

Uncle grandpa: oh, yeah.

Better go get my sword, then.

[ Shing! Whoosh! ]

Hiyah!

Man, that's the last glass sword

I ever buy.

[ Whoosh! Clang! ]

Mr. Gus: here.

I'll get this thing open.

It just needs a gentle touch.

Hmm.

[ Grunting ]

Uncle grandpa: wow.

Even mr. Gus' superstrong hands

Can't get this box open.

Mr. Gus: [ grunts ]

I guess I need to hit the gym

More often, y'all.

Uncle grandpa: belly bag,

Any ideas to get this box open?

Belly bag: maybe my sharp

Zipper teeth can cut through

Some of that tape.

Nom! Nom, nom, nom!

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom!

Nope. This is some tough tape.

[ Shatter! ]

Uncle grandpa: nice try, buddy.

Let me give it a shot.

Nyuh!

Well, giving it a shot didn't work.

Mr. Gus: perhaps

Great realistic flying tiger can

Help us with this dilemma.

Uncle grandpa: great idea,

Mr. Gus.

[ Whistles ]

Grft: [ growls softly ]

Uncle grandpa: sorry, girl.

Didn't mean to interrupt your

Catnap, but we really need your

Help opening up this package.

All right.

Let's try some of your rainbow

Power.

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Clatter! ]

[ Whoosh! ]

Darn it!

Uh-oh. Sorry about using up all

Your color.

Grft: [ roars ]

[ Whoosh! ]

Uncle grandpa: I guess we're

Gonna have to start thinking

Outside the box, outside the

Box.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

Okay, laser hammer.

Let's see what you and your

High-powered, long-range,

Accuracy scope can do.

[ Whoosh! ]

Mr. Gus: I heard the piranhas

At this lake will tear through anything.

Uncle grandpa: well, let's

See them tear through this.

Any of you guys expecting a

Package?

Together: nah.

Hey, look. A boat.

[ Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! ]

Well, doctor, it seems like

You'll have to open the patient

Up to remove the obstruction.

Good thing my trusty scalpel

And I can open up anything.

Uncle grandpa: can you open

Up this?

Does it have insurance?

Uncle grandpa: uhhhhhh.

Ouch!

Mr. Gus: [ grunts ]

Both: [ grunting ]

Pizza steve: [ shouting ]

[ Grunts ]

Mm-hmm.

So, tell me, uncle grandpa, why

Are we here today?

Uncle grandpa: well, I just

Can't get him to open up.

I see.

Perhaps some things are better

Left unopened.

Uncle grandpa: so, can you

Open him up or not?

I think our time is up.

Uncle grandpa: do I still

Have to pay for this?

Do you have insurance?

Uncle grandpa: uhhh.

Ouch!

Mr. Gus: [ laughs evilly ]

[ Whoosh! ]

Belly bag: aaah!

[ Groaning ]

[ Rock music plays ]

[ Creak! ]

Uncle grandpa: all right!

This jagged shark's tooth I

Ordered should cut through that

Box -- no problem.

[ Grind! ]

[ Sizzle! ]

[ Twitch! Twitch! ]

[ Thump! Whir! ]

[ Clank! Grind! ]

[ Whoosh! ]

[ W-w-w-whoosh! ]

[ Sizzle! ]

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Z-z-z-zip! ]

[ Sizzle! ]

[ Whmmmm! ]

[ Twinkle! Twinkle! ]

Uncle grandpa: [ exhales

Deeply ]

[ Rattle! ]

[ Air whooshing ]

[ Clink! ]

[ Boom! ]

Why is nothing working?!

Why? Why? Why? Why?!

Why? Why?!

Belly bag: I can't take it

Anymore!

[ Grunting ]

Mr. Gus: no-good box testin'

My patience, making me lose my

Cool!

Pizza steve: I got to get

Inside.

I got to know what's in there!

All: [ breathing heavily ]

Uncle grandpa: I'm starting

To feel kind of weird, kind of

Like blind rage is taking over!

Belly bag: m-m-m-me, too!

Mr. Gus: [ growling ]

[ Whoosh! ]

Pizza steve: nothing is gonna

Keep me out of that box --

Nothing!

All: [ grunting ]

[ Blows landing ]

Hey, guys.

Does anybody have any tape I can

Borrow?

Never mind.

I'll just use some tape from

This box.

There's a nice, loose piece.

[ Creak! ]

Uncle grandpa: [ gasps ]

The box -- it's open!

Did I do something wrong?

Pizza steve: the time has

Come!

You guys are starting to

Freak me out.

I'm out of here.

[ Whoosh! Zwip! ]

Pizza steve: [ laughs

Maniacally ]

It's mine! Me first!

Belly bag: back off,

Sauce face!

Mr. Gus: it's mine!

Uncle grandpa: you'll have to

Pry it from my cold, gloved

Hands first!

All: aaaaah!

[ Grunting ]

[ Blows landing ]

[ Rumble! ]

[ Twinkle! ]

[ Gasp ]

[ Whoosh! Whoosh! ]

Uncle grandpa: good

Morning.

Mr. Gus: what the heck?!

Uncle grandpa: what's going on?!

Pizza steve: that's it --

Us?!

I don't believe it!

Where's all the diamonds?!

Uncle grandpa: it's just a

Bunch of darkness!

Belly bag: all that work for

Nothing?!

Mr. Gus: this doesn't make

Any sense.

Uncle grandpa: looks like

You guys need a turn in the box.

[ Slap! Whoosh! ]

Mr. Gus: yeah, y'all need

To chill out for a while.

Pizza steve: just relax

In there, dudes.

Belly bag: now that that's

Over, anybody want to see if the


Uncle grandpa: yeah, let's

Go.

Pizza steve: I'm all over

That idea.

Uncle grandpa: hang on, guys.

I forgot my wallet.

Hey, what's this box doing here?

[ Creak ]

Uncle grandpas: bull's-eye!

New experiences,

With beary nice...

That's me.

... And hot dog person.

That's me.

Wow!

I've never used a computer

Before.

[ Creak! ]

Have you, hot dog person?

What's a computer?

Computers are amazing

Machines -- whee! -- That can do

Almost anything.

Really?

I'm beary excited to use a

Computer for the beary first

Time.

I'm beary nice.

And I'm gonna use this computer

To help me get into that jar of

Cookies.

[ Mash! ]

[ Beeping ]

Welcome to fluffyland.

[ Chuckles ]

Want to play?

Wow. Computers really are

Amazing machines.

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Just wait till I get my claws on

Those cookies.

[ Beeping ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Beeping stops ]

Computer cookies are my

Favorite.

[ Beeps ]

Redirect.

Huh?

Welcome to normad

m*ssile defense launch network.

Warning. This is a restricted

Government website.

Top-level clearance password

Required.

[ Monotone ] beep, boop,

Beep.

Computer cookie.

Beep, boop, beep.

Password verified.

Welcome, mr. President.

[ Gasps ]

What are the target

Coordinates, mr. President?

Uh-oh, this isn't good.

Fiddlesticks.

This cookie is delicious!

Nom, nom.

Mmm, nom, nom.

Nom, nom.

Oh, my.

There's cookie crumbs all over

The keyboard.

You have chosen all of the

Targets.

[ Gasping ]

Please enter the launch code,

Mr. President.

Oh, no!

Get off of there, crumbs.

Ugh! [ Coughs ]

Launch codes accepted.

Ohh!

Are you sure you want to

Proceed, mr. President?

Just a few crumbs left.

There's one by the "y" key.

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

Oh. There's one by the "e."

[ Whimpering ]

And there's one last crumb by

The "s" key.

Thank you, mr. President.

Oh, no!

The missiles are in the air.

Goodbye.

[ Whimpering ]

[ Beeping ]

Aaaah!

Aaaaaaaah!

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

Wow!

I had no idea a computer could

Make my cookie toasty warm, too.