02x13 - Weird Badge

[bunniefuu]

[ Up-tempo music plays ]
good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

[ Roars ]

Good morning.

Good morning!

Leader: girls, you've been
standing there all afternoon.

Why isn't this raft
tied together yet?

That's emily's job.

We cut the logs.

She's supposed to
tie them together.

Well, where is she?

Emily: right here,
mrs. Leader scout lady.

I found
a free piece of rope

To tie the raft
together with,

But when I stepped on it,

It grabbed my foot
and turned me upside down.

Emily, that was lisa, lori,
and lexus' rope trap.

Speaking of which,

Were you ever planning
on cutting her down, girls?

Together: yeah.
We were just waiting...

For you
to give us our...

Rope trap
merit badges first.

Fair enough.

Here you go, girls.

Sweet!
Yeah!

Raft building is fun!

All right, follow me
and I'll get you

Some new rope
so you can finish the raft.

Okay!

Just one more knot,
and...

[ Grunts ] there.

All done!

Raft's tied up
and ready to go!

Geez louise.
[ Scoffs ]

If they gave out
badges for failure,

Emily would be
scout of the century.

Nice try, emily.

Come on. Let's break for lunch
and try again this afternoon.

O-okay.
I-i'll be there in a minute.

[ Sighs ]

[ Crying ]

[ Gasps ]

What the?

[ Roars ]

[ Screams ]

Good morning!

Uncle grandpa?

Hi, emily!

What are you
doing here?

I'm looking
to get my hands

On some little miss camper scout
scout cookies!

Ah, now then, how many boxes
of scout scout slim mints

Can I get for,
um, uh...$46?

Um, that's
six boxes' worth.

Young lady, you just
got yourself a sale!

[ Gasps ]
wow, uncle grandpa!

That makes me so happy!

So happy!
So happy! So happy!

[ Panting ]
happy!

Except for
a few minutes earlier

When you were sitting here
crying like a little girl.

[ Crying ]

I know!

I-it's just that
it's the last day of summer

And I haven't earned
a single merit badge.

Aww, there, there,
emily.

We got an entire afternoon
in front of us,

And I'm gonna help you earn
all the badges you'll ever need.

Oh, boy!
Really?

[ Munching ]

So, you're probably
wondering

Why I brought you down here
to the river's edge, huh?

To teach me how to earn
my raft building badge?

[ Pop! ]

[ Laughs ]

No, emily.
Something far more important.

I'm gonna teach you
the art of...

Fish flopping!

[ Chuckles ]
so weird.

How will that ever
help me earn a badge?

Only one way
to find out, emily.

Now hop down here
and flop like a fish.

Okay.
[ Muttering ]

Like this,
uncle grandpa?

[ Sighs ] we got
a lot of work to do.

[ Upbeat montage music plays ]

Hmm. You've come
a long way, camper.

This is a beautifully crafted
loch ness monster whistle.

It attracts the closest
loch ness monster

To your current location
via gps.

But remember,
only use it in a real emergency.

I know.
You just told me that.

I'm just letting
the audience know

In case this ends up
being important.

Great job.
Thanks, uncle grandpa.

Emily, I think
you're ready.

[ Clears throat ]

Ladies and gentleman,

Boys, girls,
and flying squirrels.

We are gathered here today to
honor a very dedicated camper.

Emily...

[ Pop! ]

[ Pop! ]
... Today, I'd like
to present you

With the only badge
you'll ever need...

[ Pop! Squeak! ]

... The weird badge.
[ Angelic vocalizing ]

[ Ting! ]

Wow!

Thanks, uncle grandpa.

Uh, yeah,
glad I could help.

Now, if you'll
excuse me,

I got to load up
on these camper cookies

And go find some milk.

Have a good one, em.

Oh, okay. Bye.
[ Engine turns over ]

So much for emily
helping with the raft.

She would have
screwed it up again anyways.

Plus,
more badges for us.

Emily:
hey, girls.

Where have you been?

Learning all kinds
of useful scout-type stuff.

Check out
the badge I earned.

[ Flies buzzing ]

[ Zip! ]
[ Laughter ]

What kind of weirdo
gave you that?

Uncle grandpa did.

Hey, so, when are we
going out on the raft?

Whoa there,
garbage girl.

That raft is for real scouts
with real badges only.

[ Laughter ]

Leader:
lisa, lori, lexus!

There you are.

We should get out on that raft.
Where's emily?

Oh, she's
not feeling well,

So she went back
to her tent.

Well, that's
one less thing to worry about.

Come on.
Let's get out there.

[ Crying ]

I'm hopeless.

At least uncle grandpa
tried to help.

He really knows
how to connect with people.

I'm really glad
we had this little chat,

But I just want you to know

That I expect each and every
one of you to be dipped in milk

Before you get
to meet these crunchers.

Together: [ scream ]

Help!

Huh?

Help!

Oh, no!
They're in trouble!

Aw, but there's no way
I can rescue them on my own.

I wish uncle grandpa
was still here.

He'd know what to do.

Uncle grandpa:
I am here, emily,

And I know
exactly what to do.

Uncle grandpa!
You do?

Yep.
And that's not all.

[ Shing! ]

[ Grunts ]

I'm also made
out of solid nickel.

Here, punch me.
I won't feel a thing.

There's no time
for that.

Aw, dang.

Emily, I know
you can save those campers.

You earned the weird badge.
Now use it.

You're right.

[ Munching, chatters ]

Let's do this.

[ Whip cracks ]

[ Girls screaming ]

Well, [chuckles]
that was pretty lucky.

[ Creature roars ]

[ All scream ]

[ Roars ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Whistles ]
hey, bears!

[ Growls ]

Try a taste
of this fillet!

[ Sputters ]]

[ Bears growl ]

What do we do now?
[ Tires screech ]

Need a ride?

[ Tires squeal ]
[ bears coughing ]

I want to thank you two for
completely changing my life!

This is my new girlfriend,
bethany.

She just can't get enough
of this hair!

Nice to meet you.

Hang on tight!
[ Tires screech ]

[ Boing!]

Emily!
[ Helicopter pops ]

What in the world
is going on?

[ Snap! ]

Don't worry. I'm getting
you guys out of here.

I have the loch ness monster
whistle.

[ Zip! ]
[ Inhales deeply ]

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Alarm blaring ]
[ zap! ]

[ Radar beeping ]

[ Slurp! ]
Pbht!

[ Scottish music plays ]
[ chomp! ]

We did it,
uncle grandpa!

No, emily, we did it,

But you saved those campers
back there with the weird,

And I will never
forget that.

Keep on
fish floppin', soldier.

It's been an honor
to serve with you.

Okay, bye.

[ Fizzle! ]
Emily, I'm so
proud of you!

Not only
did you rescue us

From those rapids
and those man-eating bears,

But you did it
with style.

I want to give you
this life-saving badge

For your bravery, heroism,
and dare I say your... Weirdness.

Here.
You've earned it.

Uh, thanks,
but I think I have

The only badge I need
right here.

[ Flies buzzing ]

Now if you'll
excuse me...

[ Sputters ]

There goes
a weird girl.

I can't believe
she didn't take the badge.

Huh. It says here
that she earned

The "most sold camper cookies"
badge, too,

But who would buy

[ Laughs ]
good mornin'!

[ Telephone ringing,
b*mb beeping ]

Come on, uncle g,
pick up the phone!

Hello?

Uncle g,
I need your help!

Got a ticking time b*mb
on my hands,

And I'm not sure
which wire --

Hang on a sec.
Who is this?

Pizza steve!
It's pizza steve!

Ohh!

Hey, pizza steve.
How's it going?

Not good!

Again, time b*mb.

If I don't cut the right color
wire, I'm toast!

Toast? Oh, man!
I love toast!

Hang on a second.

Wait, what?!

Uncle g?
Uncle g!

Oh, man!

Yo, pizza steve, are you ready
for some crunch action?

[ Crunch! ]
Uncle g!

I don't
have time for this!

Hey, you know what?

In all the excitement,
I forgot the butter.

Be right back.

Uncle g,
you cannot be serious!

[ Humming ]

Uncle g!!

Now, where were we?

Time b*mb!
Oh, yeah.

Listen,
there's six wires --

Yellow, blue, green, white,
orange, and pink.

Which one do I cut?

Okay, okay.
Easiest thing in the world.

All's you got to do
is cut the --

[ Beep ]
hang on,
I got another call.

Flippin' frog legs!

Hello?

Hey, dawg.
Got some bad news.

The ice-cream store's
all out of mint chocolate chip.

[ Gasp! ]
Oh, no!

Say it ain't so,
mr. Gus!

I'm afraid so.

You got a backup?

[ Sighs ]
I don't even know.

Can you run through
all the flavors real quick?

Okay, let's see.

Uh, we got chocolate, vanilla,
strawberry, cookies and cream,

Peanut butter expl*si*n,
bubble gum, peppermint --

Wait, bubble gum?
Uh-huh.

Okay, do me a favor
and sample that one.

'Kay. Um, can I try a little
spoon of bubble gum, please?

Woman:
here you go.

Mmm.

How'd it taste?

Like bubble gum.

Okay, sounds good.
I'll take that.

Okay. Do you remember
which flavor pizza steve wanted?

I don't know.
Let me ask him.

[ Crying ]
pizza steve,
what flavor --

Uncle g!

There's only
a few seconds left!

Which wire do I cut?!

Wire? Wait, what are
we talking about now?

The time b*mb!

Oh, right, right.

Uh... Red.
Cut the red one.

Aah!
There is no red one!

Uh... How about purple?

Okay. Purple.
Got it.

[ Static ]
pizza steve,
you there?

Hmm.

Ahhh.

[ Whistle! ]

Aaah!
Oof!

So, how'd it go?