03x02 - Love Stinks

[bunniefuu]

Previously on the real world...

I'm cory, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Mom, we're home.

This is pretty cool.

Yeah, I guess we're first.

I'm pam.nice to meet you.

Hello ?hi.

Hi. I'm rachel.

Hi, rachel. Nice to meet you.

I had a very trying day today,

I went to jail, and got hit by a car.

We're gonna keep an eye on you.

Puck-- never seen anything like it before.

[ Trolley bell rings ]

This is the true story...

The true story...

Of seven strangers...

[ Laughing ]

Picked to live in a house...

And have their lives taped...

Oh, lucy, I'm home.

To find out what happens...

When people stop being polite...

[ Screaming ]

And start getting real...

Mtv's the real world, san francisco.

[ Puck ] monday is valentine's day, right ?

I gotta call my valentine date.

Your valentine date ?i have two.

Where are you going for valentine's day ?two dates.

Me, delilah and... Barb.

And do they know that you have two dates ?

Oh yeah. Are they going together ?

Oh, yeah, we're all going out.

It's st. Valentine's day,

And everybody in san francisco knows that's...

St. Puck's day.oh !

[ Pedro ] so we're gonna go down to the supermarket ?

Better make a list.

Butter, salt and sugar.

Is anybody going in on it ?

[ Cory ] are you guys all going to get food right now ?

[ Puck ] three of us. Just the three of you ?

Me and judd and... Pedro.

Pedro.

Oh...

Go, go, go !

Ha-ha-ha !

Can you just give me the tag to pay for it ?

And, I want to eat it now.

[ Puck ] okay, let's cruise the beer section,

Just for the fun of it.

[ Judd ] oh, yeah.

[ Pedro ] puck is always on.

Oh no, they got blue orlando sun ?

I like any soda that's blue 'cause it looks like windex.

[ Pedro] I think he has something to say...

I'm so weak-- cheese puffs.

But it's just that it's very hard

To get him to, to calm down.

Oh dude.

Maybe I should get a good card for my date.

[ Puck singing ] ♪ saint puck's day...

♪ And I'm expecting some good dates ♪

He really has no manners whatsoever.

We were walking to the store

And on the way home, I blew a snot rocket.

Oh my...

This is exactly who I did not want to live with.

[ Loud slurping ]

[ Rachel ] what are you drinking there ?

My cereal.

Don't you need a spoon?

I don't use utensils, ever. [ Laughing ]

Your fingers make these cool shapes, you know,

You can kind of just-- whoo !

[ Laughing ]

Puck... I like puck.

As odd as he is, I like puck.

I said, I'm going to mass at :, if anybody wants to go.

[ Puck ] oh, I'd like to go.

Would you, really ?full on.

I love jesus, I'm ready.

It says it's only four blocks away.

Yeah, no, it's a big cathedral,

You can see it from here, look.

You see the double crosses there ?

Hey, I heard this is where you get all the good dates.

[ Laughing ]

I was really surprised, that he was interested in going with me.

And I wasn't sure what-- why he wanted to go.

Those are really cute shoes you got there.thank you.

I feel spiritually close to god myself, just, you know,

That you can talk to jesus christ and all that stuff, you know.

Oh jesus.

I was really worried about puck coming to church with me,

Because he kept fiddling with his zipper.

Just don't do that in church, okay ?

Just let it fall.

Oh, I don't think so.

I don't have any underwear on.

I was just like, "god, don't do that in church."

[ Organ music ]

[ Rachel ] religion is important to me.

I mean, besides the fact that I really believe in god,

I also believe that the traditions that the church upholds

Is really, like, the glue to keeping families like mine together.

I mean, I know for sure that when I get married,

I'm raising my kids catholic.

[ Both ] christ, have mercy.

I think out of everybody, the only two people

That I have friction with is rachel and puck.

[ Pedro ] for rachel, her religion tells her I am evil,

Because I am g*y.

If that's where she's coming from, then,

There's a barrier there.

Because we are never going to...

To be able to sit at the same table.

[ Pedro ] I think, like, the first night,

I told everybody that I was hiv positive,

And I showed everybody my scrapbook.

[ Cory ] oh, that is amazing,

You are just posted everywhere.

[ Rachel ] instead of trying to get information,

All it was, was this total p.c.,

La-dee-da-dee, "kumbaya"...

"How wonderful you are that you speak",

And, like, nothing relevant was discussed.

[ Pedro ] she just got up and left, and that--

I took that as a sign of rejection.

[ Rachel ] some people might say, "oh, that's ignorant,

"We all know, you know, hiv can't be trans--"

But y'know what, I don't know.

I never lived with anybody with hiv.

[ Pedro ] I guess we're gonna agree to disagree.

[ Bells tolling ]

This is my roommate, puck.hello.

[ Puck ] I think it was really good for me

To go to church with rachel,

Because I learned stuff, like, everybody, um,

Gets their neighbor and gives 'em a hug

And and says that they love 'em and that everybody should love.

And I thought that was really

The most bonus part of the church thing for me,

Because that's where my whole spirituality lies.

Thank you.take care.

Goodbye, father.

Puck's really a spiritual guy.

The way he looks, people assume that he's just a little punk.

And then, like, you talk to him a little more

And you realize he's a genius.

Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha !

[ Puck ] um, I think me and rachel, we get along, you know,

Because she's learning something from me

And I'm learning something from her.

My heart just pumps big love-- puh, puh.

Puck, he does crazy things.

He's spontaneous-- we have so much fun together.

All riiiight !

I'm howard stern.

Yeah...

Is that hot, or what ?

[ Clapping ] wh !

[ Puck ] look at it already, every time we hang out,

Like, something crazy happens.

[ Judd ] I know rachel likes bad boys,

I think puck is a bad boy.

Anyone working on two dates on valentine's day is

Maybe not someone you want to bring home to mom.

So what, like, a lunch date, and dinner date ?

No, I'm talking two at once.

It's my whole life, it revolves around it.

Big capital letters, f-u-n.

How much can I squeeze in ?

But how much fun is it for the two girls ?

Oh, they know, they rip.

[ Phone ringing ]

[ Girl on phone ] hello.

Hey delilah, what up ?

Anna-banana, it's puck.

[ Girl on phone ] hey, you, how are you ? Fine.

You know, why don't you serenade me

A little piece of poetry when we go out ?ooh.

Get some flowers for your hair.

Love you to death.

[ Mock radio noise ] we have a confirmation date.

[ Judd ] two of them, or just-- two, yeah.

So the three of you are just gonna go somewhere ?

Yeah, I wish I could bring 'em home,

But, I don't know.

[ Phone ringing ]

It's for mohammed, I know it.

They got it. Who is it ?

Oh.did you just stick your finger in there ?

No.

I really have a big problem with puck.

I'm fixing myself a bagel with peanut butter.

And I'm really getting into this.

I mean, I'm hungry, and I really want to do this.

Did you just stick your finger in there ?

He walks right by me,

Puts his finger in the peanut butter,

Just licks it and goes on.

I didn't !

That is the same hand that he was wiping on his shirt

Because he got, you know...

Snot all over it.

I'm gettin' my own food, man.

I'm buyin' my own peanut butter

And everybody else can kiss my butt.

[ Song ] ♪ you got it !

...and then at night, you drink.

[ Judd ] puck, rachel and I went out on the town with delilah.

[ Puck ] I took 'em to "the armadillo", I'm local there.

[ Woman ] hey, watch this.

[ Laughing ]

What ? What's funny ?

[ Laughing ] it's just funny, how, like, you are.

You're, like, such a nice guy.

Oh, shut up ![ Laughing ]

You don't date many nice guys, do you ?

No. You don't, you really don't.

Bad boys, right ?

[ Puck ] yeah, there's some bad boys in this bar.

You see any cuties here ?

[ Judd ] puck and rachel...

Is something going on ? I don't think we know.

[ Puck ] you gonna get married ?

'Cause she says she likes that her boyfriend is.

My valentine's date and you have a boyfriend ?

Since when ?he's not my boyfriend.

All right.you called him a boyfriend,

And now you're going on a valentine's date with puck.

I didn't call anyone my boyfriend, honey,

And don't put words in my mouth.

You did.you did, I heard you, too.

I heard you say it.

As soon as you said it, I went, "aww..."

"You just said you had a boyfriend

And you're going on a date with me,"

It's weird.

[ Song ] ♪ you got it !

Ooh, those hazel eyes

Just peelin' right through me, huh ?

[ Puck ] she said she had a boyfriend,

And, like, I didn't know.

And I said, "you know what, delilah ?

"I don't feel comfortable having you around as a date,

Because you're a dork."

I, I broke the whole date off, I canceled.

I was like, you know, and I just don't feel like we should go out,

You know, that really sucks,

I had that whole thing all set up.

You're upset, you admit it ?

Yeah, I'm just too intense for just one girl.

I'm just too scabbed and just gnarly, and...

I'll go out with you guys tomorrow.

I'll go with the scabbed and gnarly part, sure.

No, you're my roommate, I'm not ever dating you.

I don't-- I don't-- it's just a date.

No, you just said, "I'm with you."

He can't do me the favor or something.

I'm like... Whatever.

I'll go, just so people think you have two dates.

No, I don't want people to think I have two dates,

It's not about that, it's that I hadtwo dates.

He's got a lot of nerve.

I am not interested in dating puck.

[ Rachel ] cory ?

I told you the toilet was gonna get gross.

I'm serious, I think we should have a--

A girls' bathroom and a guys' bathroom ?

He's a pig, he smells, he's disgusting.

I don't think I smell bad.

Ooh, that reeks.

His nails are, like, black.

He literally stinks.

I don't think he likes water.

I feel so sorry for mohammed.

Oh, y'know, I'll just wear the same socks again, y'know, no big deal.

[ Mohammed ] he thinks opening the window will alleviate the funk,

Which is not true at all.

Whew, I'm hummin'.

Can you see the stink comin' off of me ?

[ Cory ] obviously, he was raised differently than I was.

[ Burp ]

[ Rachel ] he just doesn't show respect for the house.

Yeah, that's life, people stink.

[ Puck ] that's what we're about as humans, you gotta stink.

I didn't write the rules, I just know the law.

I hate the fact that I share the bathroom with puck,

More than anything else.

[ Rachel ] I'm serious, I think we should have a--

A girls' bathroom and a guys' bathroom ?

[ Cory ] hey you guys, maybe we should set up a time

Where we can all sit down and discuss our little "job list" thing.

[ Rachel ] and discuss other things, too.

[ Laughing ]

[ Pam ] rachel had come to me before the house meeting

And had asked me this whole thing about

You know, "don't you think that guys are dirtier in the bathroom ?

And wouldn't you also want to have a girls' bathroom, guys' bathroom ?"

[ Rachel ] there may have been in the back of my head, something, well,

I'm sharing a bathroom with somebody that has hiv,

But by far, my biggest concern was puck.

Household duties...

Wait, I think rachel has some other stuff

She wants to bring up before we start things.

I've never lived with guys before.

[ Puck ]mm-hmmm.

And so--well, yes, you have,

You have two brothers.

But I had my own bathroom.

[ Judd ] oh, shot down there.

And exactly, that's a good example

Of why I don't want to share a bathroom with a guy.

Oh no, we're not splitting bathrooms, forget it.

Girls and boys.[ Judd ] no way.

No, no, no.

[ Judd ] that would be subject to the rule--

[ Puck ] no way in hell, I ain't doin' it, forget it, man.

[ Puck ] she just, like, jumped in, broke out with the frown lines,

And was like, "this is what I want

And I ain't taking 'no' for an answer."

Sounds like everybody is pretty much nay on that.

No.

Well, how do you guys feel about it ?

You admitted today, that you felt that girls

Are a little different in the bathroom.

[ Pam ] she sort of thought I could be her ally, and,

Earlier that day, I told her, you know, I don't care.

Which I don't, I don't care !

[ Rachel ] I thought that was so lame, when we had discussed it.

And I thought they were gonna back me,

And I just thought that was really lame.

[ Pedro ] one thing that I just thought about.

I have certain things that I'm going to buy

Because I use them on a daily basis,

Like peanut butter.

[ Puck ] and there was a piece on the other side--

Wait, wait, wait !

The fact is that you took your finger

And picked it off, right ?

Now, that would have been cool,

Except that half an hour before that,

I saw you put your fingers against your nose,

Throw snot out and then just wipe it on the thing.

Like right now, you're sitting there

And you're picking on your scabs, right ?

Yeah.you've been picking on that scab

For half an hour.[ Laughter ]

Now, wait, wait, wait.

Am I gonna go wash my hands ?

Now, you cannot go and put your finger in the peanut butter,

I'm sorry, no, no.

You're getting all worked up, here--

I don't like my peanut butter with scabs.

I'm gonna go wash my hands.

He conveniently made it seem like I didn't wash my hands,

And that I was dirty-- but I'm not.

From here to here, I'm clean.

One more... I say that whenever more than four of us

Are gonna go out and you come along,

We vote on whether you have to take a shower or not.

[ Laughter and protests ] no ! No !

Forget that-- ridiculous.

[ Puck ] I got slammed for being dirty,

For picking my nose, or whatever, you know ?

They were just slamming me left and right.

[ Rachel ] I think the honeymoon is going to end.

[ Laughing and yelling ]

[ Puck ] I'm not really, totally happy.

And I feel pretty strongly about valentine's day.

I've only had really good valentine's days in the past.

I was just, like, saying how out of place I am...

About valentine's day.

[ Rachel ] I kind of wish that we came here like,

A week earlier than we did.

I could have met somebody cool maybe, and,

Even ican't work that fast.

Oh, lucy I'm home !

Oh !

I got some cookies.yeah ?

For everybody, for valentine's.

What a nice guy, man.

It's your valentine to the house ?

It's valentine's day, and I got dissed by that--

Well, I didn't really get dissed.

I had to break off my date with that girl,

'Cause she was too wacky.

[ Laughing ] I heard.

You heard about it ?

Now, that's interesting, you think somebody's wacky.

Wackier than me.[ Laughing ]

Cookies, there's one for everybody.

Oh, they're so cute,

Are they butter cookies ?

[ Judd ] I'm talkin' to rachel about valentine's day.

We both start complaining that we don't have someone.

I said, "so let's go out."

[ Rachel ] we're gonna have, this like,

Lonely hearts club kind of thing going on.

Rachel, cory, is everyone on for tonight ?

[ Cory ] so, we decided to call ourselves "the lonely hearts club"

And go out to a restaurant called "the stinking rose".

It's the worst thing for a couple to go to,

Because everything is made with garlic.

I walked in there and the place smells !

Do you want to be part of the lonely hearts club ?

We're going out to dinner.

Yeah, okay.

Great, we're goin'.

So give me a call so we can hook up.

I'll talk to you later, bye.

Hey, pedro, are you lonely enough

To go out to eat with us tonight ?

Yeah... I was gonna go out on a date tonight.

Who, with someone locally here ?

Yeah, but decided not to.

I'd much rather go out with you guys, and...

Cute guy ?

Yeah, yeah, he's cute.

I like his personality.

That's most important.sometimes.

[ Puck ] pedro, you know, he's a good guy.

He's grabbing onto life, man, he's doing it.

[ Pedro ] he's very open-minded-- he has to be, because,

People have to be very open-minded to deal with him.

[ Pedro ] I try to be very open-minded and sometimes I'm not.

Rachel made me kind of, like, get edgy and say,

Ah, I might have some problems with her.

[ Rachel ] I wanted to know that I was okay,

That I was gonna be safe.

And I don't think anybody has really challenged him

On those kind of questions yet, either.

[ Pedro ] I pretty much tried to stay away from her,

Let her come to me.

Knowing that you were catholic,

And knowing that you were republican.

It was like, okay.

It could be an adversarial relationship.

Yes ! So, automatically,

That influenced my opinion of you.

Were you afraid that I would just not like you ?

Or you were afraid that I would be confrontational with you ?

What were you afraid of ?

What I was afraid of was rejection.

And the day that you sat down

And five minutes later, you got up and left.

That was, to me, a form of rejection.

Now, I told myself, "no, she--"

No, I think you're right, you guessed right.

I mean, I felt uncomfortable.

"He's the one with the disease,

He should make me feel comfortable."

And that's selfish, but that's how I felt.

And I felt like, oh--

It's not only selfish, it's wrong.

[ Rachel ] I think it's not fair of pedro

To expect me to have been comfortable.

I mean, he has to know that I have questions.

Every day, when I wake up and I say,

I am going to go and educate my community about my disease,

That's a choice I'm making,

But it's not something I have to do.

But I felt like we were in this together,

And we all have to live together.

Right.and, I mean--

But don't you think that I was trying to reach out to you by--

No, I felt like you were--

No, I felt like you were reaching out

To everybody who has already appeared

To be very comfortable with it.

You have to understand that this is scary to me.

I am walking to meet six people that...i'm...

I knew some of you were gonna have problems with it.

And to me, one of the reasons that I brought the book was

Because it made it easier for me to talk about it.

But I never asked that, because I felt, like,

That's so personal to you,

That maybe you should come to me.

Right, right, right.

You don't have to ask how,

But he's just saying that his door is there.

And if you want to know about it,

You gotta knock on the door.

Exactly.but I once heard that--

'Cause I fully noticed that you came across

As if you weren't interested in getting to know me at all.

I didn't know that about you,

You didn't know how I was feeling.

We have a lot in common.

You know, besides being both latinos.

You will understand better my relationship with my family,

My attachment to my family.very true.

And I'm sure you felt the same way, you know ?

Now, if you have any questions,

I'll be more than happy to sit down with you and discuss them,

And it'll be cool.

[ Phone ringing ]

Hello ?

Mohammed is with his girlfriend

On this lovely valentine's evening.

That's plenty, that's way enough soap.

Get that away from me.

This is enough to do, like, my whole body.

I wanted him to know what it felt like, to have clean hands.

There's, like, grime all around the edges of his fingernails.

The dirt is in my body, I'm telling you.

It comes from inside my body.

Alright, just rinse.

[ Rachel ] his nail bed is nice,

I mean, like, if you push the cuticle back.

[ Puck ] I've made my first step towards winning rachel over.

Let's go !

[ Talking at once ]

[ Burp ]

On the next real world...

[ Cory ] I never felt so white in my entire life.

She asked mohammed's girlfriend

Whether she was part white.

That wasn't, like, a compliment

And it wasn't a put-down.

That sounds like the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

I said, " that's so sad, nobody should say that."

It's a girls' wig, you know,

That doesn't look like my hair.

But a guy could look like this, why not ?

Yeah.

Am I rocking ?

You'rekfow, I't@ifa bob would.

My face is a little red for this color, I think.

Don't you think ?

Blondes should be red.

No, pink.

Pink face.

Stand up and walk around 'cause you have to get the--

I'm gonna play the air guitar.

How does it feel like ?

It just doesn't feel like this is the right one for me, you know.

[ Rachel laughing ]