03x06 - Trouble in Paradise

[bunniefuu]

Previously on the real world...

[ Rachel ] that is so cool.

[ Judd ] rachel likes bad boys.

All right !

[ Judd ] as far as romance, I've kind of hit a dry season.

I'm looking to meet somebody.

[ Pedro ] I met sean during the g*y and l*sbian march in washington.

When I came to san francisco,

I called him, and so we went out.

This is the true story...

True story...

Of seven strangers...

Picked to live in a house...

And have their lives taped...

Oh, lucy, I'm home !

To find out what happens...

When people stop being polite...

And start getting real.

Mtv's the real world, san francisco.

Rachel and I have both been flirting a lot.

I just think she's very affectionate,

So I reciprocate that.

[ Rachel ] we've been doing this fake tattoo thing with judd

For a while, so I decided to do one on my chest,

And so he did this rose.

You don't think I'm a big tr*mp, do you ?

I don't think it really matters, now does it ?

It's too late now, huh ? Mmm-hmm.

[ Judd ] it wasn't coming out too well,

Basically because,

To get my hand in there properly,

I think I would have had to cop a feel,

And I wasn't ready to do that yet.

He's talented.

And I'm a good subject, so...

[ Cory ] hey puck, puck !

[ Pam ] oh, man.

[ Laughter ]

I am sister puck prudence.

[ Rachel ] where did you get that ?

Puck is the sweetest guy.

He's so sweet.

He's like the nicest guy.

I feel unspoiled.

[ Judd ] puck and rachel, what is going on there ?

What the hell is going on ?

It's just nauseating, already.

I don't know,

I just think maybe rachel hasn't been exposed

To someone like puck.

"Exposed" being the optimum word...

Like a virus !

[ Belching ]

[ Rachel ] oh, god, I can smell you.

That's so bad, puck.

Just breathe that way.

[ Judd ] rachel likes bad boys,

But I think puck is a little more bad...

Than the bad boys she's looking at in particular.

"And I don't like things in my butt."

That's not what it says.

"I like my music very soft...

[ Rachel ] stop it !

[ Giggling ]

[ Rachel ] "critical mass" is a bike ride through the city

And over the golden gate bridge,

And I was there with puck.

Isn't this cool ?

I told you it was nice.

[ Rachel ] puck said that it was something that was important to him,

And so I wanted to go because of that.

So I went ahead and went.

Yeah !

[ Puck ] rachel's cool, she goes to all my functions, man.

I mean, she went to "critical mass," too.

That was big points for her.

[ Rachel ] puck was trying to show off on that--

No, no, I was just trying to jump a steel manhole.

My front end just came way up.

[ Cory ] my best metaphor for puck and rachel's relationship is

"When harry met sally."

Hit her head !glass ?

Your head hit the car tire. I know !

Um, you know, everybody's pretty cool, man...

[ Pedro ] the other night, I was in my room,

And rachel was talking to her brother on the phone,

And then puck came over, and they started saying jokes about gays,

And it was puck who began.

I just want to let all you guys know one thing,

You're coming down here,

There's a lot of g*y guys in town,

And the girls are hurting for good dates.

They're gonna like you guys.

And I'm not sure if they knew I was in the room

Listening to the conversation.

I mean, I was right there in the room.

They would probably say, you know...

That wasn't putting down gays.

They probably don't see anything wrong with it.

So I just told myself that I was just gonna let it go,

And if it happens again, then I'll bring it up.

My sexuality is me.

You know, if you're looking at me,

You're looking at my sexuality.

Just because they are heterosexual,

It doesn't mean that...

I can't talk about my boyfriend,

Or I can't talk about somebody being cute.

[ Sean ] so what are we gonna do for the month anniversary ?

I haven't had one of those since high school,

But I feel like I need to have one this time.

[ Pedro ] when I went out with sean,

And I realized that I was attracted to him

A lot more than I thought I was,

One of the thoughts that kept passing through my mind was,

I don't want to like him too much.

I want to go back home,

And we're spending a lot of time together.

So what are you doing tomorrow ?

You know, we pretty much haven't talked about what's going on,

About how we feel about each other,

But I guess we're gonna have to do that soon.

I'm thinking a lot about him.

I miss him when he's not around.

[ Buzzer ]

[ Rachel ] guess who called me ?

Who ?

[ Rachel and judd ] harlow !

Harlow's some dorky guy that rachel...

Dorked, and gave her number to.

[ Rachel ] I was in a coffee shop,

And there was this totally hot guy

Sitting with this other guy three tables away.

And I turn to judd, I go, "judd, he's really cute."

And so cory had this great idea that I should walk by him,

And drop a napkin, and say, "whoops, you forgot this,"

And have my number on it.

And I said, "I can't do it."

She's like, "look, I'll drop the napkin for you,

You just pick it up, give it to him."

"Hee hee, here's my number !"

And instead of me picking it up and giving it to him,

I like bolted out the door.

What should I say ?

"Hi, I'm the dork who ran out of the cafe ?"

[ Puck ] hi, I'm the dork, give me your number.

No, no, you ignore that aspect,

You know, "hi, I'm rachel."

You say, "I thought you were so cute

That you were probably g*y." Right ?

"But now I'm calling you,

I want to go out on a date and give you a big kiss."

Say something like that.

Rachel.

[ Puck ] the right guy for rachel, he don't exist.

He don't exist.

Rachel wants a nice fluffy guy

That's gonna care about taking showers and stuff.

I mean, I don't know.

It's just not me.

[ Rachel ] hello ?

Harlow.

, Minutes, that's cool.

Okay, bye.

Hey, I'm harlow.nice to meet you.

Hey, harlow, I'm mohammed.

And this is judd.

Rachel's date, I thought he was a wuss, dude.

I did, I don't know.

He's a cool guy, but he just...

He didn't seem right for rachel.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon. [ Cory ] what ?

Make assessments.

What do you say ?

Too clean-cut.too clean-cut ?

For rachel, yeah.shh !

[ Pam ] that guy just wasn't grungy enough.

No, because he's too clean-cut.

He's too boring-looking.

He loses points for getting a little cleaned up,

For making the effort.

In rachel's eyes, yeah, I think so.

'Cause she wants like puck, "mr. Hygiene from hell" ?i don't know !

Are you puck ?i'm puck !

Harlow.okay, how you doing ?

Good.

I went out and tried to be cool to him, you know,

I try to give people my surface self.

It's not a big deal, I can talk...

To the best of 'em.

Oh, this guy is gonna turn out

To get punched tonight, I can see already.

[ Puck belching ]

[ Rachel ] ugh.

I went out with rachel and harlow,

Because I felt like I wanted to escort her,

Make sure nothing weird was gonna go on.

The closest star is four-and-a-half light years away.

Holy sh-- ! The closest star.

Puck interferes directly and indirectly with

All my relationships with men.

Good god, breathe some air and let's rip.

It was really like harlow and puck were on a date,

Because I got to say nothing.

It's not the first time he's interfered

With guys that I've considered going out with,

And it really bothers me, you know,

That he's having this kind of control.

I really like puck, but I'm realizing that...

I need to try and, at least for a little while,

Distance myself from him.

[ Pedro ] me and sean spoke in a high school

To about seniors.

My name is pedro, and I'm years old.

I found out I was h.i.v. Positive

When I was a junior in high school.

I was years old.

[ Pedro ] it was really interesting to be speaking with sean.

It felt kind of odd

Because, for the first time,

I was speaking with somebody who I was...

Personally involved with.

I tested positive about years ago.

And it was, um,

A time in my life when I was very depressed.

[ Pedro ] yes, I have A*DS,

And, yes, I do get sick,

And, yes, i, you know,

Get angry and go through all the emotions,

But there are a lot of other things in my life.

Just because I have A*DS doesn't mean that the rest of my life stops.

We're dating, and we're doing a presentation together

About h.i.v. And A*DS,

And discussing our own issues,

And part of what we're going to be talking about

Is our relationship to each other.

[ Student ] do you plan on getting married ?

Do I plan on getting married ?

Um...

No.

I don't.

Oh, well... Maybe !

Don't look at me like that !

I'm not bringing tramps in here, forget it.

You know, you say you love me,

But you're friends with loose women,

And you don't bring them over to the house.

That's hardly fair.

Your friends are coming over the th, right ?

The th.

You might have a chance with...

More with one than the other, though.

Why is that ?

She likes more clean-cut guys.

She is like crazy,

She's really wild.

Her hair is so long, like down to here.

[ Judd ] I was quite interested in rachel bringing in friends,

Because I don't know that many women here in san francisco,

And imports are nice.

We went to the airport to get rachel's friends.

Dude, it was like from hell.

[ Judd ] I agreed to pick them up at the airport.

Being the idiot that I am,

I figured that rachel would know what airport.

[ Mohammed ] so I kept asking rachel, I was like,

"Rachel, are you sure it's not sfo ?"

And she was like, "no, it's at oakland, da-da-da-da-da."

From phoenix.

: ? Yup.

Gate .

I thought it was like right at , though.

She's like, "oh, I thought they arrived at :, not :."

And we're like, "what's the gate number ?"

"Oh, I don't know."

"Oh, what's this ?"

"Oh, I don't know, let me call home."

Call home ?

You don't call home for like an airplane thing,

You bring the information, you know ?

And she didn't bring it.

Judd, wrong airport !

[ Judd ] excuse me ?

Shut up.

He's gonna be excited about that one there.

I know, I don't want to hear about it.

That's why I'm glad puck's not here.

I don't need you guys to nag on me, too.

We're at the wrong airport ?

[ Rachel ] oh, I'm so pissed off.

[ Mohammed ] that's why I kept asking--

[ Rachel ] I know, I know,

But I was so sure, I thought that was right.

Hi, I'm judd.

[ Judd ] heather, patty, and francis seemed very nice,

Francis especially.

She was very pretty, sexy, funny, intelligent.

Didn't talk with her mouth full.

No visible scars.

You know... The usual.

We could be talking about world peace,

We'd swing around to, "where'd you get those boots ?"

I mean that's...

Yeah, I think these are cool boots,

Seriously.

I was just making that up,

I wasn't even talking about 'em.

Who could resist these two ?

That's the question.

Yeah, who is it ?

[ Over intercom ] heather.

Heather.

What a hottie.

Step off puck, you're making heather nervous.

What'd I say about scaring the guests ?

I'm just lookin', I'm checkin' out her head size.

Didn't we have this conversation before ?heather, your head is big.

You got one of those big accordion- sized heads, man.

[ Rachel ] if you want a picture of heather,

Just take one of heather.

You want me now, huh ?

You're gonna ditch your boyfriend quick.

I'm... Pssh !

[ Judd ] francis and I went to coit tower.

See that house right there ?

Thomas jefferson was born right there.

Shut up ! No, honest, he was.

[ Judd ] it was kind of nice.

It's very pretty up there.

It's a nice view, it's very romantic.

Okay, where's alcatraz ?

Alcatraz is right over thataway.

To the left of it.

I like romance,

And I get to do it so rarely.

[ Heather ] I don't want to leave here.

[ Puck ] I know, it's rough when you're a high-fashion model,

Jet-setting around the world.

You know, I used to be on the circuit.

But I had to get off.

I was getting burnt out,

You know, I was getting circles, and-- right.

It wasn't working for me at all.

[ Rachel ] heather is one of those girls,

Where she'll get a boyfriend, and forget about you

For a year and a half.

And then she shows up for, like,

The three weeks she has between boyfriends.

[ Heather ] puck, wait !

Why don't you go with puck, then ?

I want to go out with everyone !

Why do we have to go out with puck if he's gonna act like a jerk ?

How are we gonna get out ?

What are we gonna do, where are we gonna go ?

What, you think I don't know where to go ?

You think puck's like the key to the city ?

Yes.

If you want to go with puck, heather, that's cool.

It's obviously what you want to do.

Rachel, rachel, rachel, rachel !

Oh, shut up, heather.

[ Judd ] this is just typical, it's just my luck.

The first woman in san francisco

Whose company I really enjoy and like,

And would like to see more of

Lives in arizona and is leaving.

I bet you hate "three stooges,"

All women hate "three stooges."

My brothers love "three stooges."

I think some of them are funny,

Some of them are really stupid.

They're all stupid, "the three stooges !"

[ Heather ] rachel, rachel,

Please open the door for a second.

[ Rachel ] I don't want to see you right now,

You're really pissing me off.

I can't believe she left, cory.

I cannot believe it !

[ Cory ]i can.

There's not really that many people out there

Who really, really, really, really care about you.

But then she wanted to go out with puck !

Like when I was mad at puck, and I was like,

"Let him go, and we'll just do something."

And then she's like,

"Well, we've gotta go along with puck,"

Because she thought puck was the only one going out.

He meets heather yesterday,

We all go out to breakfast,

He drops me off at work,

Spends the whole day with her,

And I say nothing.

It's "when harry met sally",

I swear to god.

It totally is.

Please, I'm not attracted to puck.

Wow, don't go in there.

Why not ?there's a chair in the way.

Somebody wanted privacy.

Who's in there ?

[ Judd ] judd and francis.

Who ?

Why'd they put the chair there ?

I know.

I don't know.

[ Rachel ] what happened ?

Oh, I just had a fight with sean.

Aarrgh !

I was really feeling frustrated

Because it seemed like every important...

Thing in my life was putting pressure on me.

[ Phone rings ]

[ Pam ] hello ?

Um, yeah, hold on one second.

It's sean.

I think it's his voice.

Ten to nine...

[ Pablo ] I had a big conversation with sean

About our relationship and my family,

And why my family is so important to me,

And why I had this need to be with them.

We talked about what those pressures were,

And whether I was gonna stay in san francisco,

And I just felt like he was pressuring me.

Every time we talk about our relationship and my family,

I start feeling, like,

This need to start defending my family.

I'd never say those things.

Babe, you said that.

The things that I say

Have to do with you, pedro,

Not your family.

You.

[ Pedro ] I'm really falling in love with sean.

And that's kind of tough, in the sense that

I don't know what's gonna happen when the five months are over,

And I'm packing up and going back home.

I'm thinking,

"I'm even considering moving to san francisco,

And it's like he's not appreciating this."

You've never said that to me, pedro.

That I'm thinking about it, sure.

No.

You've never said that you were considering moving to san francisco.

[ Pablo ] even though, intellectually,

We know that it's both our decisions, or whatever,

Emotionally, I know, you know,

I'm the one who, uh,

Who's gonna make the decision whether I go back home or not.

So I'll just wait here, I guess.

Bye, judd !

My luck, you know...

I meet somebody nice, they're off on a plane.

If I don't meet somebody else, I hope...

We hope, we pray, we...

We keep striving right along,

Some day to find that special someone.

[ Rachel ] don't tell me you and heather got together.

[ Puck ] no.

Oh, god, you scared me.

Okay, what happened ?

What does "get together" mean ?

I don't know.

What is the definition of "get together" ?

I don't know, just what do you mean, and stop playing games !

Is "get together" the full "hokey-pokey" ?

Not necessarily, just making out.

Is it just a little touchy-feely,

A little make-out ?

Did she make out with you ?

No, she has a boyfriend.

You got together with her.

She has a boyfriend !

[ Rachel ] well, do you think heather likes you ?

Maybe, but I don't think I like heather that much.

Why ?

She's, her brain is like this big.

She has three brain cells, and they're fighting.

They don't even get along to make a thought pattern.

Puck has definitely shown that he has a very sweet and sensitive side.

I mean, you have to break through some...

Cement with him before you get to that soft side.

There's definitely a sweet side to him.

...with big eyes ?

You know better.

On the next real world...

I hate that,

When stupid people make me cry.

I just had a really bad day.

I've got some bad news.

[ Pedro ] I come home one day,

And there's puck with this little dog.

This was not a stray,

That dog belonged to somebody.

You are mine.

Phbbblt !

O ] we're still searching for the right word.

[ Pam ] uh-huh.

"Partner" is a word that, you know,

g*y people use to refer to their spouse.

"Partner" does sound a little clinical.

Yeah, yeah, that's the thing.

And then, you know, "significant other".that's so... Terrible.

You know, my father is a significant other for me.that's dumb.

A lot of people are staying away from "lover".

If you're my "lover", you're not really my spouse.

It's just, you know...

Lover, just sex.yeah.

"Boyfriend" just doesn't cut it anymore.

So it's like, what do you use ?

And then, "spouse".

Even heterosexuals don't use "spouse".

"This is my spouse."Yeah.

So we're still searching for the right word.