04x03 - A Loaf of Bread, a Jug of Swine ...

[bunniefuu]

[male narrator] Previously on "The Real World.."

What's up with me and Neil? That's like the house question.

We have, like, this great flirtatious friendship.

[Neil] Chris is my girlfriend for five years now.

I think Chris is unhappy about

the situation I'm in at the moment.

Everyone's like shh, shh, be quiet.

This can't get out because Chris is gonna

find out that they're getting together.

[Neil] My concern is for everyone involved.

[Kat] This is the true story..

[Neil] Of seven strangers..

Seven strangers!

[Jacinda] Picked to live in a house..

[Jay] And have their lives taped..

[Lars] To find out what happens..

[Mike] When people stop being polite..

[Sharon] And start getting real.

"The Real World," London.

We did miss the Super Bowl. Wait, no, it's on right now.

Turn it on. Let's see if Super Bowl's on.

Show you guys about American football.

Well, well, well, well.

[Sharon] 'Who's playing? Do you know the names of the teams?'

[Mike] 'San Francisco and San Diego.'

Oh, wait, San Francisco won.

[Sharon] 'Oh, my God! They're pouring, I'm sorry.'

Hang on, hang on, how did you know they won

when they just tipped some water over somebody else?

Because they do that..

Why would they do that on a losing team?

Why would they do that at all?

No, wait, wait, we've got it right here, hang on.

[Sharon] Neil is into provocation. He's into pressing buttons.

Everything's a big experiment to him.

He's into being deliberately indignant and provocative

because he wants to see how people are gonna react to that.

There's gonna be a commercial any second, watch.

There's nothing going on in this game, there's nothing going on.

What do you mean there's nothing going on?

Look, no, there's somebody's, somebody's sitting down.

There are some people chucking water at each other.

This isn't a game of sport.

[Neil] Mike seems to me, at least initially

to be as all-American as they come.

I'm reasonably aware of the different types of people

that you find in America.

And Mike with his brash temperament

seemed to typify the aspects of America

that I'm not too happy about.

♪ Don't you know where you are ♪

♪ Lost in America lost in America ♪

♪ Lost in America lost ♪

I'm from America. I'm as far lost as you are.

I love America. I mean, I love everything about my country

and I'm proud to be an American and brought my American flag

and I'm dressing like an American

and, and I'm American and if they say I'm American

I mean, that's great.

Wow, you sound so American.

You just, even like, whenever I hear you talk

it's just America.

[Neil] 'Be aware that the people in England'

they're gonna notice you as an American.

- 'Of course.' - 'Yeah.'

Even before you, even before you

open your mouth, they're gonna know.

[Mike] 'I don't wanna, I don't want anybody to think I'm not.'

No, no, but people might well treat you differently for that.

And I mean, I'm not into the European thing, you know.

A lot of Americans wanna be European

and they try to get into the European thing.

And they drink their cappuccino and they drink their tea

and they wear their European clothes

but, you know, I, I'm American

and I probably stick out in this country

like every other, like, American

that's proud to be Americanized.

But, you know, it doesn't really get to me or anything.

Well, if you, if you're gonna play a game

then there should be some game going on.

You just don't see that in American football

'cause, like, something happens pretty fast

and they all fall down, then, it stops--

No, but they don't fall.. No, seriously.

[Mike] Well, Neil was saying that

"That's all I see, you just, you get the ball

"you run feet, you fall down.

I don't understand the game."

And, and there's a lot more to football than that.

What they do is, they say set and hike

and then they fall down.

Yeah, that's the game, yeah.

There's, there's no skill or talent or strategy involved.

It's just walk to your edge and fall, you know, you're like..

[Neil] No, I don't completely understand American football.

I was just taking the piss out of him.

No, no, no, I'm, I'm sure it's a very valid sport

but I just can't understand getting into it.

- Well, have you ever played it? - I don't understand it.

Okay.

Neil sort of made it known to me

that he, uh, definitely was a bit of a power tripper.

He liked to play mind games with people

and just see how they reacted.

I enjoy intellectual games.

You know, why bother living if you can't think?

Does power interest you more than money?

Oh, very much so.

I don't want power, but I'm interested

in power in relationships, I'm interested in--

[Sharon] 'The dynamics of the relationships and the--'

Where some person has more power than the other

and that could fluctuate within the course of a conversation.

And you're into, uh

playing with people's minds

and exerting power, and the pursuit of power.

This says to me, this person is quite insecure.

You two got each other figured out?

No, we're wrangling.

And I love, I love th-the wrangling.

[Neil] I've met people like Sharon before.

She seems very opinionated.

You're just a maze.

You see you're what I call a maze-type person

and you never quite get to the center.

You can, you know, you can..

They only let you know what they want you to know.

[Kat] I'm trying to get to know Neil better.

I think Neil is a hard person to really get to know.

I think it takes a while for him to

before he's like, okay, you're one of my friends.

♪ Me and my friend were walking ♪

♪ In the cold light of morning ♪

Neil is an intense person and he's intelligent.

There's a physical attraction

but it's gotta stop there

because we live with each other.

♪ In our lives we hunger ♪

♪ For those we cannot touch ♪

[Neil] The Kat thing is a bit thorny one.

She's a very attractive girl in a number of ways.

She's very innocent and yet quite driven

which is an odd combination

but she is still quite young and that scares me.

I still don't know what's gonna happen.

I would imagine that if this was a different environment

that Kat and I would probably be having sex by now.

But as it is, there are other factors involved.

I don't think I want anything to go on

and I'm not sure that Kat does, at least not now.

She's a physical person, she likes to be held

and th-that makes it a dangerous situation.

[Chris] Why are you even bothering?

'Cause I fancy eating some squid.

[Neil] I don't know what's going on in my relationship with Chris.

You just get what you want.

- No, explain yourself. - No, no, you get what you want.

We both have not been too happy about

the way things have been going for about six months.

♪ In our endeavor we are never seeing eye to eye ♪

It's not always obvious which aspect

isn't working right in a relationship.

[Neil] 'Don't get pissy with me.'

Now come and speak to me, that would be..

Well, come and speak to me.

We haven't been communicating as much as we normally do recently

so it's difficult to tell what mental state each other is in.

I'm not having this discussion with you now, okay?

So if you'd like to come back, I'm here.

And if I'm stressed out about the relationship

I'm having with Chris, then I try and deal with it myself.

And she doesn't like that, she'd rather I'd come

and tell her everything straight away.

♪ What you are ♪

♪ Just what you are ♪

♪ Just.. ♪

♪ What you are ♪

[Jacinda] 'Neil's gig. Are you gonna go?'

- 'I'm gonna go.' - I'm excited.

Yeah, I, too, especially 'cause he won't tell us

what, what music it is too.

I'm just dying to see what he comes up with.

I just think it's going to be so interesting.

And I'm either gonna love it or hate it.

There will be no in between.

Well, I'm involved in lots of different sorts of music

and at least two or three bands at the same time

to keep my options open.

One of them, I like to describe as progressive a*s-quake.

The idea being to create the right frequency of noise

to cause people to [beep] themselves.

Did he tell you whether he achieved the frequency

in which to make people, you know..

'No, you know what he said.'

'He was trying to invent a piece of music.'

Like, the aim of which was to make people

wanna [beep] themselves.

Did he tell you that? He told me that.

I know he [beep] himself.

- Actually [beep]. - In their pants, you mean?

- Yeah. - Really?

It's his serious aim. He aims.

I don't know [beep] joking with me

but he seemed pretty serious.

So I'm wondering if he's achieved it yet.

Because if he has, I'm not going to that gig.

[Lars] 'So do you think everyone's butt'

'opens up at the same frequency?'

I don't know what to tell you.

Neil's quite witty.

Um, he just, he has his own logic.

Here's a valid question. Whitney Houston, why?

[Sharon] He just sort of likes to throw things into the water

and just see what's gonna float and what's gonna sink.

[Jacinda] 'Oh, look at the one floating on the top.'

[Mike] 'The one floating is just chunks.'

'That's not a fish anymore, it's just pieces.'

So when did it cease to be a fish?

When it died or when it got chewed into pieces?

'Is it still a fish when it's dead?'

'Is it still a fish when I cut it in half?'

[Jacinda] 'Ouch!'

I was just wondering.

I was just trying to raise a little debate in this room.

I don't wanna think about dumb..

- Like that that often of times. - Okay.

[Neil] I need conversation.

I need some sort of intellectual stimulation

and I'm just ain't getting it in this house yet.

Just getting your mind to work in a logical manner

rather than ughh.

People just don't seem to have that here.

I'm not a person who went on to higher education.

A lot of people in the house went

but I wouldn't say that that renders us all

intellectually incompetent.

Um, on our fridge, we have

uh, what is called a house motions list.

And basically, Jacinda came up with the idea

of any concerns that we had or anything that

you know, we wanted to discuss

and then on house nights, we can sit at the table

and discuss it while we're all together.

So one of Neil's suggestions

on this list was Get Intellectualized.

Uh, the next motion is

intellectual course, is this?

"Intellectualize," I see.

"You have nothing to lose but your mind."

It's just a suggestion.

[Sharon] 'Intellectualize, I think that's a rather arrogant--'

See, we're all a bunch of boneheads, Neil--

[Sharon] 'I really do think that's a rather arrogant suggestion.'

'Starts from which is coming.'

I got a suggestion.

You should actually use your brain for a change.

[Sharon] 'Well, who's to say that it's coming from the a*s..'

'It's coming from the assumption that we don't.'

- 'Yeah.' - Yeah.

Neil sat down and was like

"Let's intellectualize, ha-ha

because I am so much smarter than all of you."

[Sharon] 'I tried to discuss philosophy with you'

and you just went like that.

You had absolutely--

Yeah, we tried to have a discussion about football and--

[Mike] You know, he might know a little bit more about

a couple dead philosophers than I do and, and damn

that hurts deep inside, you know.

I mean, I just don't sit around and stick

you know, things up my nose or whatever.

I'm, I'm in all in favor of talking.

[Neil] I'm gonna have to get myself away from here regularly

to get a dose of some sort of reasoned debate.

And that's not really what I wanna do

but it seems the only way I'm gonna get it

is to go outside this house.

♪ Oh you paralyze my mind ♪

♪ And for that you suck oh h* oh h* ♪

[Mike] He made a bigger fool out of himself

by saying let's be intellectual

by trying to prove that he's superior to all of us

when I haven't seen him do anything

that's superior to anything yet.

♪ I have no one ♪

♪ They're all a bunch of ♪

♪ I strike them once ♪

♪ I strike them twice and then I'm on my way ♪

[Neil] I'm not one of these people

who can spout off about how I'm feeling.

It's just something I'm not comfortable with

whether that's because I was born and raised in England

rather than in America, I don't know.

♪ Hey hey hey ♪

The portrayal I get of American youth

is they're very willing to bare their soul.

It's something I would never do.

In this country, we'd just be laughed at.

♪ So you can f*ck yourself and all of those like you ♪

♪ 'Cause I have thousands of ways to dislike you ♪

♪ So you can f*ck yourself and all of those like you ♪

♪ I have ways to dislike you ♪♪

- How's it going? - 'Oh, God.'

[Chris] 'I'm still in a dissertation panic.'

[Neil] I haven't really had the chance to see Chris.

She's having a hard time at the moment

because of her dissertation.

Bit of an emotional roller coaster.

Um, when am I gonna see you again?

[Chris] 'Uh, well, um..'

'...I'm working tonight and I'm working tomorrow night'

'and I can't really do anything until I've, I'm there.'

Okay, I'll leave you alone for a bit.

'Okay.'

Well, I mean, the worst will be coming over

if you're in a dissertation panic.

Well, things haven't been going well for quite a while.

It's sort of a bit tense at the moment.

[screams] Guess what. This is here.

[Jacinda] On Valentine's Day, I woke up

'cause there was a ring at the door.

I knew Kat was down there

but I ran out anyway to see what it was

and it was a huge bunch of roses

and a bear and chocolates from Paul.

♪ You're alive you're alive ♪

♪ You're really alive ♪

Is that cute? I don't know how he did that.

He must have sent it from New York.

It was wonderful. It's the greatest surprise to wake up

and find this huge bunch of roses. I was so excited.

I called him straight away and it was wonderful.

- 'I love you.' - I love you too.

[Paul] 'I love you just as much as I did when you left.'

I know, I have the teddy sitting on my bed

and the flowers downstairs to prove it.

[Jacinda] 'Look what Neil got!'

Um, I'm gonna show Neil that..

- Is it a Valentine's Day thing? - Yeah.

Is it from Chris?

This morning I received..

...uh, a pig's heart with a nail through it

surrounded by white roses from my girlfriend.

Wasn't quite sure what to make of this.

Whether it's my current state of, uh, psychotic paranoia

or perhaps it's justified

but, uh, I was a bit disturbed by this Valentine.

Hey, Kat, look what was nailed to it.

My reaction was concern because I thought

oh, God, this is, uh, quite a potent symbol.

She's obviously not very happy.

I wonder what she's unhappy about.

So I'm just gonna go find her and see what was on her mind.

I went all the way up to Dalston, which is about

an hour from here on public transport.

To take her another Valentine from me.

♪ 'Cause nobody loves me ♪

♪ It's true ♪

♪ Not like you do ♪♪

So I went over there to see what was on

see whether she was in a bad mood

or whether it was another one of her sick jokes

and she wasn't there.

- Is Chris here? - No, she's not.

Are you kidding?

And I thought I'll try to catch up with her later.

What did he say when he opened it?

I just came down here and he was

sitting at the table staring at it.

- Did he think it was like nice? - No!

♪ Nobody loves me it's true ♪♪

I really don't think that was a very sweet present.

I would be upset. I'd be like..

Maybe it's not a joke. Maybe it's like..

It seems to be symptomatic of our relationship

what she intends to be a joke I see as hate.

[Neil] 'Hi. Do you have any barbed wire?'

I thought, okay, well, I'll try to find her at work.

So I went and bought some barbed wire

and made her a Valentine from that.

And, uh, I really am kind of losing it mentally

about what I should be thinking or feeling about all this.

So, yeah, I turned up where she works

and, uh, she just thought it was, you know, one big joke

and was surprised that I didn't see the funny side.

I was wondering whether you were speaking to me or not.

Did you see the humor in it at all?

No!

You didn't see the humor in it at all?

- I saw no humor. - You saw no humor?

I saw me getting out of bed early to be confronted

with a pig's heart with a nail through it.

Excellent. Stage door.

Do I have to wear it or something ?

I was gonna impale you with it.

You were gonna impale me with it?

There you go, you can impale me with it now.

Impale me, go on.

It's tricky. When we first got together nearly five years ago

I was, uh, wide-eyed, innocent year old.

She was a cynical, twisted punk.

She's not as angry as she used to be.

I'm not as happy and fluffy as I used to be.

I don't know, I'm always changing

and before we used to change together

and I'm not sure we do anymore.

- Good. - What do you mean good?

Marvelous. I hope you've had a [beep] horrible time.

- I have. - Good, I'm glad.

...my breakfast. Put me off my corn flakes.

Put you off your corn flakes? Good, I'm glad.

Why? It's Valentine's Day.

Because, yes, but, you know..

...I don't believe in lovey-dovey bollocks.

- Obviously. - Obviously.

♪ No more I love you ♪

♪ The language is leaving me ♪

♪ No more I love you ♪

♪ Changes are shifting outside the word ♪

[Chris] 'I didn't think that, uh'

'your reaction was going to be to come piling into my work.'

Well, neither do I, but you sent, uh

impaled pig's heart to my house.

'Yeah, well, there you go.'

- 'Now--' - Don't say there you go.

I just give as good as I get, that's all.

'I would like to see you. Is this possible?'

Yes, I mean, this has to be dealt with

otherwise it's gonna get horrible.

'It's pretty horrible already, I tell you.'

Chris is concerned at the moment.

She thought I might be sleeping with Kat

and I think she knows deep down I'm not that stupid.

♪ Changes are shifting outside the word ♪♪

There's a sexual vibe between us

and I have strong desires to sleep with her

but I'm not gonna do it.

[Kat] Neil's involved with someone else

and he's very seriously involved with someone else

and he really cares about that person.

And it's not worth crashing in and trying to make

a big mess out of everything.

You want coffee?

- Toffee? - Coffee.

Coffee. Coffee would be good.

Okay.

[singing indistinctly]

[Neil] Whether I'd still be with Chris tomorrow or in six months

or in ten years, I don't know.

But I know that everyday she affects me in a way

that makes me wanna stay.

I have to vent my spleen occasionally

and the gig's a good place to do it.

I go and do a gig and I feel a lot better when I get angry.

This next song is inspired by Jeffrey Dahmer's mother.

I'd like to dedicate this song to my new flat mates.

♪ Hey hey hey ♪

♪ They're all a bunch of.. ♪

[Lars] I didn't understand the song he dedicated to us.

I don't know why that was dedicated to us.

♪ Hey hey hey hey ♪

[Sharon] He has so much suppressed rage.

He just let everything inside just come out.

[Neil] Before a gig, I'm very apprehensive

about what the response is gonna be.

Get a whole range of responses.

Some people walk out, some people love it

some people just stand there with their mouths open.

[Mike] I didn't hear any words.

I mean, it was, I think I caught a [beep]

and other than that, it was just screaming and yelling.

And you don't scream and yell when you're really happy.

So obviously, he was mad at something

and he said he gets his anger out that way.

So what he was mad at, I-I don't know.

[Neil] On stage, I think I'm a slightly different person

but that's half the fun, isn't it?

They take me as I come and that's part of me.

So if they didn't like it

then, uh, that's a risk I have to take then.

[audience cheering and applauding]

[Neil] Goodnight. We're Unilever.

[male narrator] On the next "Real World.."

[Lars] House music, that's my life.

♪ And love one another ♪

[Sharon] As a singer, my job has been put

on the line by this operation.

It will never be %, but it will be better.

The slightest slip or misjudgment

and, and that could, you know, my voice could go.

I may never be able to sing again.

[Mike] 'These are good American pancakes.'

- 'Nice and thick.' - 'Yes, they are.'

[Mike] 'Buttermilk pancakes.'

So do you feel good after you perform, Neil?

I feel better now. I feel a bit chilled out.

I was waitin' for the

I hate "My [beep] Roommates" song to come out.

I know, I was like afraid to make eye contact with you

because I thought that you would, you know come down stage

and be all, "And, Jay, I've seen.."

You know, just go on. I was worried about that.

I love you all. I wouldn't do that.

[laughs]

[Neil] So what did you think then, Jay?

Do you think there's room for Satan musical?