02x09 - I'm on the Struggle Bus

[bunniefuu]

You were a C-section baby
because you don't like to
do labor.

-I was the only one mom went...
-[indistinct exclamation]

...into labor with.
My eight-pound head was
pushing it out.

Sorry.

Was it eight pounds
or eight ounces?

[Sammi] Eight pounds
or eight ounces?

[Baylen] I'm sorry --
[laughing] --

I'm sorry.
-Oh my gosh.

[continues laughing]

JB does crystal meth
with Joe Biden.

JB does a lot of crystal meth.

[Lela] Are you excited about
looking at wedding dresses,

trying them on, and...?

That's -- I'm so excited,
but also

I need to get
in shape first.

My new med makes me gain
weight like crazy.

I need to be able to walk down
the aisle, not be rolled.

Our wedding will be at...

This venue is on top
of a flipping mountain.

[Brian]
This is the Grand Hall.

-[Baylen] Wow.
-[Colin] Holy crap.

[Baylen]
Oh, this is phenomenal!

You and Baylen have already
talked about, like,

you being maid of honor?

[Sammi] I feel bad that
I can't be here sometimes,

but I don't want to miss
dress-shopping with Bay.

She's in, like, a dark place
with her anxious

thoughts and OCD.

-So you guys found
what venue you love.
-Yes.

What are you looking forward
to the most?

-Flowers would be number one.
-OK.

-Food would be number two.
-OK.

-I want alpacas.
-Alpacas.

Have you guys ever done
a queso fountain?

A Queso fountain?

We need
to manage expectations.

This is what reality is.

I think you're not gonna
love what I have to tell you.

We can work some magic.

I think that you're not gonna
love what I have to tell you.

OK.

We just shared exactly
what we want our dream wedding

to look like, and I'm so nervous
that she's gonna pull

the rug right out from
underneath us.

Rug that b*tch
out of here, m*therf*cker.

[short whimper]

I think that it's going to be
challenging to get to the point

where we can have
everything we want

for over a hundred guests,

and I think that
spending a huge portion

of our budget on the venue
and shuttles versus putting

that towards the food
worries me a little bit,

because I just
want to make sure

that we get
all of the things we need

before we get to the things
that we want.

Obviously, the things
that we need are photo,

the hair and makeup,
our officiant,

music, and all the food,

and the things we want are
the alpacas and the flowers,

and we all know it's not cheap,
and -- and it's easy to get

wrapped up in all the things

snowballing into, um...
-whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo.

...you know, all the --
shiny object -- squirrel,

you know, um, so I think
that's gonna be our goal

is to keep it --
-Be in our budget.

Be in budget, and not have
any regrets afterwards.

You know, you want to feel
really good about

the whole thing, OK?
-Mm-hmm.

We fell in love as soon
as we saw the venue.

We just didn't think about
all the other expenses with it

being a remote location.

-Thank you guys so much.
-Yeah!

-See you.
-Bye.

-Eat a bag of...dicks!
-[thud]

Oh, OK.

Well, that was informative.

Yeah.

Like, literally information
overload.

Eat a bag of dicks!

But I'm not gonna spend
all this money

to not get
what I want.

I'm not giving up that venue.

We've already put a down
payment on it.

-Yeah.
-And it's a lot of money.

I'm not losing the shuttles.

Five years ago, I was at,
like, my worst.

And I never thought
that I would be marrying

my best friend.

So I want the day to be
absolutely perfect.

At the end of the day,
I just hope she can give us

what we want.

♪♪ Who are you, who are you ♪♪

♪♪ When the laughter dies ♪♪

[Julie] Maybe just volley.

See how many you can get across
the net without trying to,

like, k*ll each other.

-Oh!
-[Sven] Good hit, bro.

-[Allen] You got this.
-[Bechnir] That's your point.

Dad, what's up
with the tank top?


-No it's not, but...
-Yeah -- [laughing].

...gosh, that would be fantastic

until you get sick.
-[Bechnir] 98% muscle.

Thank you!

Yeah!
That's it right there.

The bowling pins.

Eleven to 2.

-You gotta let it bounce.
-What?

When it comes to pickleball,
I'm probably not the best,

but when it comes to grabbing
my kids,

I'll be alright.

-I got him, I got him.
-[all laugh]

[Sven]
It's just domination.

-[indistinct speaking]
-Oh, the car is gonna run
over the ball.

[Baylen] Thank you.
Hi.

Hey, Bay.

[Julie]
Welcome to the pickleball game!

[Allen] I miss you.
How's your ride?

[Baylen] It was good.
You know, rideshares are $150.

It's OK.
It could be worse.

I try to see my parents as
much as I can, but it makes it

hard because me and Colin live
about two hours away,

and I can't drive.

Just dominate this kid.

Rideshares are crazy
expensive, and me and Colin are

trying to save as much money
as we can for this wedding.

Trying.
We're trying.

We're doing the best we can.

We met with our wedding planner
that we got --

we met with for the first time.
-OK, yeah.

And with our budget,

she doesn't know
if she's gonna be able

to give us what we want.

-She already thinks
you have to dial it back.
-Yeah.

We know Baylen dreams big,
and with big comes a price tag.

The wedding venue.
It's their decision.

-That's what they picked.
-Absolutely.

That's what
they don't, you know?

Yeah.
So, budget schmudget.

They better figure it out now.

-That's great.
-Are you kidding me --

as pop flies?

So are you excited to finally
go dress shopping?

I'm so excited.
So excited.

I wasn't at first, but now I'm,
like, super pumped to just

realize, like,"Balyen,

you're not going
to look like this

in three months from now.
-Yeah.

I believe that Baylen
is definitely procrastinating.

I think it's because
she's a little self-conscious,

maybe, with where
her body is right now.

But these alterations
and customizations can take,

like, eight to nine months.

So I made a few calls,

and I found an amazing wedding
dress shop in the D.C. area,

so we can get this going.

I can't wait to have you,
Meemaw, Lela,

Colleen, and Marlene there.

I don't know really
about Sammi.

-I know, it's not looking good.
-How is she doing?

She's still teetering.
Like, her thoughts are...

-Still her thoughts.
-...they're impediments.

I'm just glad that she was
open to finally going

♪♪ I can see the [indistinct]
in your eyes, yeah ♪♪

♪♪ I can feel the passion
deep inside, yeah ♪♪

♪♪ I'm right here,
I'm right here ♪♪

Oh my gosh.

-You're so cute!
-[indistinct mumbling]

You're so cute!

Today I'm meeting up
with my friend Anita

for the first time
in person.

She reached out to me
on social media because she has

a daughter a few years older
than Baylen that has autism

and Tourette's syndrome.
-Are you OK?

-No.
-No, you're not?

-No.
-Well, you're gonna have
to be.

-Sit down!
-Oh, sorry.

But I think what Anita
really wanted was

some connection from another
parent that is dealing

with some of the same issues
that she's dealing with.

Out of all, kind of, like,
the requests and DMs I get

because people know that Baylen,
being on social media,

and they just know that she's
my daughter,

you're honestly the only

one that I reached back out to.

It's a blessing for me.

So I reached out to Julie
through social media

because Baylen experiences
some of the same tics,

the severe tics
that my daughter Sophia has.

So I felt like Julie might be
able to help me answer

some questions
that my daughter could not

because she can't
give you details.

She's not nonverbal,

but she can communicate
to me everything.

She's definitely more complex
than Baylen.

'Cause I know that she has
autism and stuff like that too.

But you feel like the Tourette
is really prominent

at this point?
-I feel like the Tourette's
is kind of ruling

her life right now.
-OK.

Sophia was officially
diagnosed with Tourette's

at 16 years old.

Her tics were not as severe
in the beginning,

but she's 25 years old now,

and she's in
a helmet 24 hours a day

to protect her eyesight
and to protect her head.

When you...
um, I'm sorry.

Oh, my gosh.
Don't cry.

I'm sorry.

To see her...

beating her face every day
and punch herself in the jaw.

As Baylen says, Tourette looks
different on everybody.

So the emotional
and physical toll on Anita,

specifically because
the Tourette is so self-harming,

my heart just actually hurts.

I don't know how you do it.

But it's what I would do
a million times over and over

again until we find whatever it
is that's gonna make

her have a better quality
of life.

There's no other option, right?

There's just no other option.

I wouldn't have ever thought
five or six years ago

that we'd be preparing to, like,
walk Baylen down the aisle.

-I know.
-Never.

It's definitely a different
case than Baylen, but I know

that feeling of helplessness,
and I want nothing more

than for Anita to stay hopeful
that there will be just

that one person
that has some idea of something

that could help Sophia.

I'm always,
always have my nose in a book,

in a
something,

just trying to look
for anything that I think

that might be helpful.
-Like the next thing.

-Yes, the next thing.
-Yes.

Do you remember the link
I sent you on the device?

Yeah, the Neupulse
that you wear on your wrist

or whatever it is.
-Yes, yes...

-Yes.
-Yeah...Baylen's actually
heard of it.

I read an article about
this device being in development

in the UK.

And so I reached out
to the company to ask

for more information
about this device.

From what I understand,
stimulates the median nerve,

goes up to the brain, kind of,
like, deep brain stimulation,

but not deep brain stimulation.
-Yes.

Not invasive.

I think this device could be
revolutionary

because it's not conventional.

When you have DBS,
you have actual wires

that are connected.

And if you're a self-injurious
ticcer Tourette patient,

there is that chance that
you are gonna pull and prod.

So this device that sits
no differently on your hand like

a watch seems so promising
to me for that reason.

It could be life-changing for
Tourette in general, honestly.

I think you should explore it.

Hm.

Even though Neupulse is not
even available in the U.S.,

I feel like now would be
a great time to get a hold

of this team because even though
Baylen's doing a great job

forging her path
into the world,

this device could potentially

make her everyday experiences
easier, possibly.

♪♪ Tell me, baby, if I'm all
that you desire ♪♪

♪♪ Walk through rain and fire
get you back to me ♪♪

-[Baylen] Colin.
-Yeah?

-What type of dress do you think
I'm gonna be in?
-White.

Sure, if you --
that helps you sleep at night.

Jesus...

I mean, part of it is coming
from my traditional values.

Well, let me tell you,
with your traditional values,

it is not a skimpy dress
like you want me to be in, so...

I just said flaunt
what you got.

-What's --
-Ah -- nipple covers.

-No.
-Just kidding.

And a veil.
Nipple covers and a veil.

I'm not where I want to be
to try on dresses,

but there's alterations.

Today is
wedding-dress-shopping day,

and if my mom didn't set
an appointment at the wedding

dress boutique...
-It wouldn't have happened.

And my mom and my sister are
on their way up from Roanoke.

They're gonna go with Baylen
wedding dress shopping.

So this time around,
I'll try on white dresses.

-You're welcome -- love you.
-Thank you.

Have you done everything
you need to out here?

Have you done
the child-proofing that I asked?

I did everything yesterday.

My sister is bringing
her littlest up.

-She's about one-and-a-half.
-f*ck them kids.

And I volunteered
to watch

her one-and-a-half-year-old
daughter.

But I am excited, though.

You got that baby fever
going on.

-No.
-Yeah.

-No.
-Don't lie.

-God's watching.
-I don't have baby fever.

-I just want kids.
-Yeah, now.

Not now.

In a year.

It's just, being a dad at,
like, a younger age, you can do

more with your kid,
and I would like to have kids

sooner than later.

What do you think
"baby fever" means?

Colin's really moving up
the timeline here.

The last conversation we even
had about kids,

you basically almost fainted
in the bowling alley.

We've been dating
for a little over a year now.

As far as future goes,
what do you see?

I'd like to have kids
before I'm 25.

You'd like to have kids
in the next four years?

Yeah.

Well, yeah, because it was
different at that point.

We weren't engaged.
We didn't live together.

All I'm saying is we get
adjusted to the new lifestyle

and we get into a rhythm,
then we can get into the lab

and maybe start cooking
something up.

-What?
-Yeah.

I didn't want to say,
"Yeah, let's go to pound town."

-Well, you just did.
-I was trying to say, like --

You just did.

I'm about to go
wedding dress shopping.

I need to be in the wedding
dress shopping zone.

This is a conversation
for another time.

[squeaky barks]

That's them.

Back up, back up, back up.

-Hello.
-Hey.

-Hey.
-Hi.

-Watch out, Fluff.
-[Baylen] Hi, baby Lily.

-How are you?
-Good.

-Good.
-How are you guys?

Good.
Good.

-Good.
-[Colin] So, how was it
getting up here?

-It was pretty good.
-Did she sleep at all?

-No.
-[Marlene] Rough.

Not at all.

I feel a little nervous
about Colin watching Lily

because she's definitely
got that fiery...
-Oh, yes.

...feisty toddler attitude.

So I don't know how she's going
to react, but I know

she's gonna give him --
Colin a run for his money.

For sure.

She eats regular food.

Just still make sure you cut it
up into the bite-sized pieces.

d*ck.

As far as her diaper,
where am I doing that at?

Like, do you got something
I can put her on?

Right here are, like,
doggy pee pads, essentially.

-Lay her on that.
-Do you have gloves in there?

-No, I do not have gloves.
-[Marlene, laughing] Oh, my God.

-Why would I have gloves?
-You do it with bare hands?

I use wipes.

I don't get anything
on my hands.

She's not, like, scraping it
with her hands.

You just wipe it off.

This is a big responsibility,

and when I offered
to babysit Lily,

I didn't realize

how much pressure is on me
for everything

to just go correctly.

-All right, bye.
-No, I know, I know.

-See ya.
-I know -- yep!

-Love you.
-Yep...

yep, love you too.
-Oh, God.

-[Lily starts crying]
-Oh, God.

-Love you!
-[crying continues]

I have no idea what I'm doing.

It's going south already.

Lily, it's OK.

-[Lily cries]
-Breathe, girl.

Breathe.

Lord, it's going to be
a rough day, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

-[crying]
-Yeah? Oh, yeah.

[Baylen]
I'm so excited.

Today, I'm pretty pumped.

[Baylen] I like the extra color
underneath it, like the nude.

-[Julie] It's so extra.
-Oh, wow.

[Baylen] Yeah.

I can barely hold it together
thinking about Baylen

possibly finding the dress
of her dreams.

My oldest daughter.

Whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo!

♪♪ You have my heart,
don't let it go ♪♪

♪♪ Open, one of Pandora's ♪♪

♪♪ So I hope in... ♪♪

[Julie]
We're here, you guys!

[Baylen laughs]

[Colleen] Alright.

You ready?
Let's go.

Hi!

-Not my Meemaw!
-Hi.

[indistinct exclamation]

[laughing]

I'm so excited,
but I'm so nervous.

-I know -- It's OK.
-Don't be nervous.

Hi.

Today I'm pretty pumped
about wedding dress shopping,

but I'd be lying if I didn't say
that I had some nervous energy,

'cause I just know
how Baylen is feeling

about her body right now.

I can't do this by myself.

[Julie]
And I don't want
the most beautiful day to turn

into a negative event for
Baylen.

-[all] Hi!
-Oh my gosh.

We're waiting for you!

-I'm coming.
-I love your purse.

-Thank you.
Are you so excited?
-Oh my God, I'm so --

yes, I am.
-Good to see you.

I'm so excited to be a part
of this special moment with her.

It's not every day that a girl
gets to literally play dress up

for her wedding.
-OK, lead us.

-Here we go.
-No worries.

And despite Baylen's
weight gain, Baylen is beautiful

and she just could use
a little reminder of that.

-My name's on this card.
-Stop.

-Yes, it is.
My name's on the card.
-[Lela] Oh, wow.

-Hi, ladies -- welcome
to Zoya's Atelier.
-Hi.

-Hello.
-We're so excited
to have you today.

You're gonna follow me, we're
gonna head into the showroom,

and then we'll
get started shortly.
-Great.

I love it.

Oh, look.

I am a little bit nervous
to try on dresses because I just

want to feel like a princess,
but putting on 18 pounds

from my medication
makes it really hard.

So I'm definitely gonna latch on
to all my lovely people

that I brought with me
today because I really

need their support.

Oh, I like that dress too.

All right, Baylen...

-My name is Teà.
-Hi, Teà, nice to meet you.

-Welcome, everyone.
-Thank you.

Dildo!

[Teà]
So what we like to do is kind
of get to know the bride,

get to know what your,
sort of, vision is.

God damn!

My, "dream dress" --
I don't really know what I want.

That's even better.

That means you are open
to trying on

different silhouettes,
different necklines,
-Mm-hmm.

and hopefully lead us
to the one.

I don't mean to interrupt.
I don't mean to be rude.

At what point should
we FaceTime Sammi?

-When we're in that
first dress mode,
-[Julie] OK.

I think that
would be perfect.

So we are going to have
you take a look

at our showrooms,

point out three gowns
that you think you like

to get to a really good place.

I definitely want to try
that one.

-[Julie] Mm-hmm.
-[Lela] Very pretty.

[Candy] And remember,
you don't have to go with white.

Oh, I know.

Grandma, I know.
Colin knows, too.

Oh, my.

-He's like, "Let's do
a more traditional..."
-[Lela] Oh, my God.

[Baylen] Oh, my God.
Come here.

[indistinct exclamations]

[Sammi] Hi, buddy.
Oh, my goodness.

Oh!

Yay!

Oh.

[Julie]
I don't mean to, like,
pat myself on the back,

but this is...

I mean, it's...
I don't have words.

This is the best freaking
surprise ever!

-So how'd you get here?
-Um, Dad brought me here.

Wait, Dad flew there
and came back?

-And came back with me.
-Oh, what a good Al.

I know.
Good Al.

What a good Al.

I couldn't ask for two better
daughters,

and that one of them

is willing to put
all of her struggles aside

because she knows her older
sister would love her here

and that she wouldn't miss it
for the world.

-She's all I needed.
-Yeah.

-Yeah.
-I'm over the moon.

I'm over the world.

Sammi's not only
my sister, she is...

my best friend.
Sammi's my best friend.

-I'm ready now.
-Oh, my God.

It's important for me to be
here because I think she trusts

my opinion a lot, which makes
me want to be here.

We can get started.
So remember, just take a walk.

Let me know what you
want to try on,

and we'll take it from there.
-Sweet.

-Thank you.
-Yay!

All the jewels come together,
and they form

a different color.

I don't mean to have,
like, honestly, to even,

like, bring your
Tourette into this at all,

but I worry about stuff
like that.

And you're pulling
on any of this?

Oh, wait, it's see-through
at the bottom?

-No, Grandma, it's see-through.
-[Julie] Grandma, move on.

[Baylen] Oh, wait,
this one's gorgeous, too.

[Sammi] I really like this one.

You're gonna think
I'm crazy, Bay.

-[Baylen] But...
-[Sammi] I really want you
to try this one on.

I love this.

Hey, Mom.
How about this one?

I like the extra color
underneath it, like the nude.

-[Julie] So extra.
-[Lela] Oh, wow.

Yeah.

I feel very honored
that she wanted to include us,

because not all in-laws-to-be
get a chance to do this.

Doesn't have to be
the first dress I try on.

And knowing Colin, I think
he would probably prefer

a form-fitting dress.
-Yeah, I definitely agree.

But none of my opinions
or feedback is based on Colin.

It's not about Colin.
It's about Baylen.

But I do appreciate that she's
considering a total white dress

because that's what
Colin wants.

This one's getting tried on.
This one.

-[Marlene] This one?
-[Colleen] Yeah.

Oh, look at that.
Oh, my gosh.

I'm aching for Baylen
to find the one

or something close to the one.

[Teà]
All right, so everyone get
comfortable, have a seat.

We're gonna do a little
fashion show.

We're gonna start putting
gowns on.

She's gonna come out,
and you'll get to see her

in a wedding gown.
-Yay!

All right?
Are you ready?

-Let's do it.
-Sweet.

Dipshits.

I can barely hold it together
thinking about Baylen possibly

finding the dress
of her dreams.

Like, I don't know.
It's just surreal.

My oldest daughter.

Whoo-hoo,
whoo-hoo, whoo-hoo.

She's still back there.
We know she's still back there.

-[Julie] She hasn't left.
-She hasn't left.

[Baylen] Oh, my God.
I'm obsessed.

-[Julie] Oh, I hear the dresses.
-[Sammi] Oh, it's moving.

-Oh, she's moving.
-[Julie] I hear the dragging.

-[all] Oh.
-Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

♪♪ I can't break free ♪♪

♪♪ And my love won't leave ♪♪

-[Julie]
I hear the dress coming.
-Tip tap.

-[all] Oh.
-Oh my gosh.

-[overlapping exclamations]
-Oh my gosh!

[Julie] Wow.
That's epic.

I feel like a little cupcake.
I feel like a cupcake.

-Love it.
-[Lela] Love it.

-I mean...
-[Lela] Oh, the veil.

[Julie] I love the veil.

[Lela] I don't even want you
to trying on... [mumbles]

-It's gorgeous.
It looks so good on you.
-Yeah.

[Lela] Aw...

-That is very pretty.
-[Julie] Baylen getting married.

That's like the true rite
of passage almost into...

not being
under our wing anymore.

I love the pockets.
I love the corset.

-Yeah.
-[Sammi] OK, I was gonna say.

-[indistinct chatter]
-It looks -- I mean,
you look this big.

-I love it.
-You look insane.

-[Marlene] It does
look really good.
-[Sammi] Seriously.

-You guys are sweet.
-[Sammi] No, you look insane.

I feel like Rapunzel.

I can't believe how much I loved
the first dress.

I was like, "Holy sh*t,
I'm actually getting married."

-I love it.
-Yeah.

[Baylen]
I love it.

It's just a little too plain.

Do you want to try
Sammi's pick next,

which is gonna be
a very different look?

[Sammi]
Very different.

-Yeah?
-Yes.

-Yes?
-[Teà] All right, let's go.

Is it completely different
than the two --

-Completely different
than both of those two.
-Good.

-Good.
-The dress is not enough
for Baylen.

I think the tiara gives
the dress, you know,

that little bit of sparkle,
but Baylen is just

full of sparkle.

And I want to see what else is
hiding back there.

-How is the baby?
-I don't know.

-I haven't heard from him
in a while, so...
-Call him.

-All right, maybe
I should give him a call.
-We're gonna need a phone call.

-Yeah.
-Hey.

-[Colin] Hey.
-How's it going?

[Colin]
Um, it's all right.

I mean, she's down
for a nap right now.

She cried a lot.
Tried to give her food.

That wasn't going well.

I even set the plate
on the ground.

-Like a dog.
-[Colin] And thought that
she would come over

and just grab it whenever,

and she just
went back to crying.
-She'll grab it whenever.

She's one.
She's one.

[Colin]
She's moving too much.
I don't want her to get up.

He's like, "Please, I don't
want her to get up."

Cut the phone.

-[Colin] Oh, no.
-[Colleen] Well...

-Oh, no!
-Well, good luck.

Just try snacks
when she wakes up.

[Colin]
Y'all have a good time.

-OK, you too.
-Bye, Colin.

-[Colin] Bye.
-Bye.

"Oh no."
Like that was from his heart.

[Julie]
Yes, that was.

For real.
It's not easy.

No, it's not.

-[Julie] I hear the dress.
-Oh, brother.

-[Julie] OK.
-[Sammi] Yeah.

Hang on.

[Lela] This is like a little
dancy.

-This one we can get down in.
-[Sammi] Yeah.

-Ooh.
-I love the scarf.

[Julie] Oh!

I love the dress Sammi picked.
I love the texture.

And like, how flowy it was.

-[Marlene] It's beautiful.
It's absolutely beautiful.
-Oh, my...

I love the different, like...

-Layers.
-That is so pretty.

Stunning.

I'm trying to be in love
with it.

I feel like the sparkle's
missing a little bit,
-Yeah.

where it's like, "hey,"
it's like, it's so

like, "I'm going out
to dinner and I look amazing."

-Not like I'm walking
down the aisle.
-Yes...yeah.

-I love it, but --
-I love it as, like,
a dancing, like...

That's exactly
what we were talking about

for the reception.
-Yeah.

-The not-down-the-aisle dress.
-Reception.

I like it.

I personally really do like
this dress.

-Let's try another one.
-Yeah, sweet.

-Let's do it, now, yeah.
-[indistinct] -- pockets...

You can tell that she feels
confident and that she is

really, like, enjoying
how she feels in the dress,

and I think that is beautiful.

Gorgeous in every
single dress.

-[Julie] Oh my gosh.
-Yes.

[Baylen] Oh, my God.
This is gorgeous.

-Like I'm getting married.
-Hear the dragging.

She's a-movin'.

-[gasp]
-Oh my God!

-Oh, my gosh!
-[Sammi] Oh my God!

Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God -- look.
-Oh, look.

-Oh, my God.
-I literally...

-[Marlene] I've already lost it.
-Yeah.

[chuckles]...yeah.

♪♪ Take my breath
and count my steps ♪♪

-[Baylen, whispering] Oh my God.
-♪♪ I sort the mess ♪♪

♪♪ I pull me together
with the miserable strings ♪♪

-[Julie] Wow.
-♪♪ Find the threads ♪♪

♪♪ In moments left in... ♪♪

[Sammi] Like, it's literally
like that dress was like,

made for you.
-Wow.

-♪♪ I pull me together... ♪♪
-I'm loving this.

What do you guys think
Colin would say?

-He'd say you look unreal.
-He'd be speechless.

-[indistinct chatter]
-There's nothing
that he would say.

-This is me.
-[Marlene] It's beautiful.

This is me.

You can just tell that it
makes you feel confident.

[voice breaking]
You can just tell that
it makes you feel good.

I know...I love it.

I see a princess.

Exactly what I want to be
on my wedding day.

Oh, Bay.

-I really just don't have
words, I'm sorry.
-It's beautiful.

It was a big moment to see,
really, just how joyful

she felt when she put on
something that made her feel

like the Queen of England.

f*ck this kid -- [whimper] --
f*ck them kids.

Oh my gosh.

Honestly, in reality,
it's not a bad tic day.

My tics haven't been triggered
by the dresses.

-It was just the veil.
-Sorry.

Would you like it on or should
I take it off for you?

Will you care
if we take it off?

No, that way you can see it
all flipped out.

Because it was
touching my head

instead of touching my hair,
if that makes any sense.

Like, it was really
in there.

And I think that you knew,
too, before you even,

like, fully saw yourself in it.

But I would like to come back
before I purchase it.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

I want to see if I keep
thinking about it.

'Cause if I keep thinking
about it, then I'm just not

gonna try it anymore.

I'm just going to come back
and buy that one.

All right.
You've got the floor.

Careful.
OK.

-I'll take you back and
you can get dressed.
-Thank you.

And we can come out here
and chat about next steps.

-I love that she found
something that was like, b*mb.
-Oh, yeah, it's --

-Like, Baylen bombshell.
-Oh my gosh!

-Oh my gosh!
-Was that cringey?

-A little, yeah.
-OK.

What a good day!

Today was phenomenal.
I'm not gonna lie,

and I came in here
very anxious 'cause I've gained

and I'm not confident,

but thank you guys for coming,

because I wouldn't be able
to pick out my dress

without you guys.

It meant everything to have
my closest people there.

-Bye, thank you.
-Oh, thank you for inviting us.

They can tell me,
"Oh, they wouldn't miss it

for the world," and I know that,
but they deserve to know

how thankful I am
that they were there for me.

Bye, I love you.

It means everything.

-Bye, guys!
-Thanks for coming.

You looked beautiful.

-[Baylen] I love you.
-[Lela] Love you, too.

Well, let me sit on my throne.
On my throne.

No, I'm just kidding.

What do you think?

I just picked the perfect people
to be here, honestly.

We're not good liars.

You're gonna leave a little
bit of room open to maybe try

some more on,
or the favorite is the favorite?

My favorite is the favorite.

I'm still willing to come back
and try more dresses on.

What would be a reasonable time

that you would be able to be
back here?

Do you have anything tomorrow?

Yeah, you and Colin are going
to Boston.

Yeah, we have a doctor's
appointment tomorrow, so...

-[Julie] Dr. Flaherty.
-Don't...

'Cause it would have to be
in a month.

-It would have to be like...
-[Sammi] Oh, I could do a month.

I just need a little bit
of time to...

-[Baylen] We know.
-...to come back.

-[Baylen] We know.
-[Sammi] Yeah.

-[Julie] No, that's a pretty...
-It doesn't sound crazy.

It's called anxiety.

And you started therapy,
which is a huge step, too.

You're doing the right thing.

I was resistant to a therapist
before, because I was thinking

that I could just fix
it myself.

But ultimately, my OCD
and anxiety, it got to a point

so bad of, like, why I wanted
to go to therapy was because,

like, I couldn't walk out
of a room.

'Cause I couldn't put,
like, one left foot down

and then one right foot down.

So, it feels good to talk
to somebody else about it and...

not be shamed or not be...

embarrassed.

What I didn't know
about therapy,

and after my first session
of it, was the validation

that I would feel.

Baylen's, I feel like,
she's definitely spot on

when she says, like, she's
a prisoner in her own mind.

It's like, "Yeah."

I was just finally ready
to focus on me

and what I needed.

I feel like I'm starting
to learn I can only control

certain things.
-[Baylen] You can control d*ck.

[short whimper]

I can't control if a plane
falls out of the sky.

[Julie]
I love that Sammi is focusing
on herself and her health.

My girls have morphed
into the most amazing adults.

-And...
-Well, we have you as a mommy.

It's like, really like being
with your very,

very best friends.

If it's helpful for somebody
to fly with you, we'll always

make that happen.

You forgot your dildo
in the airport --

[short whimper].

-OK, wait, hold on.
-Yeah, Mom needs a minute.

She's never heard dildo
out of your mouth.

-I gotta...
-[Sammi] She needs a minute,
hold on.

Mom needs a minute.

Dildo!

Hi!

I'm on the struggle bus
with the dildo tic.

We're not even just saying it,
we're screaming "dildo."

I think she was holding it in
from also...

Colleen and Marlene,
I think she was holding --
-Holding what in?

Oh, sh --
[laughing].

-You're tired?
-I'm exhausted.

My bum hurts sitting on this.

Oh, we're, whoa.

I just drank a lot
of champagne.

Today was awesome,
but I'm exhausted,

and I'm ready to go home.

I wonder how babysitting went,
to be honest.

Hopefully it was birth control,
because he needs to stop

that baby fever sh*t.

Ugh.

[Baylen] Hey, Mom.

Currently traveling to Boston.

Having Colin in the car now is
the perfect time to reintroduce

Neupulse to her,
because he will make sure

that she talks
to Dr. Flaherty about it.

Let's just add it to the list
of things we need to talk

to Dr. Flaherty about.

I actually have a question
for the doctor.

Do ya?

♪♪ Do it for the love of it,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪♪

♪♪ Hey, hey,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪♪

♪♪ Yeah, let's go, yeah,
let's go ♪♪

♪♪ Do it for the love of it,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪♪

♪♪ Hey, hey,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪♪

Go out of business,
you m*therf*cking Marlowe b*tch.

It said Marlowe's was going
out of business.

What do you want me to do?

It was right in front
of my face.

Oh, my mom's calling.
Hey, mom.

Currently traveling to Boston.
Good little trip ahead of us.

I am excited -- Colin's more
excited than me, personally.

Yeah.

My life.

-Yes.
-[Julie] This is life.

Yes.

I'm excited about going
to a doctor's appointment

for the first time with Baylen,
because the torch

or the responsibility of taking
care of Baylen is kind of being

passed down,
and I feel good about that.

The device?

OK.

I've been wanting
to talk to Baylen

about my lunch date
with Anita,

but I know with having
Colin in the car, he will make

sure that she talks
to Dr. Flaherty about it.

And if she doesn't know
anything about it,

that means it's not a good
thing.

OK.
I love you.

OK, that sounds good.

I'll let you know when
we get there.

Bye.

-I'm glad my mom brought it up.
-Yeah.

[Colin] I was actually
with Baylen when she was told

about Neupulse.

So, at least we can find out
if and when

it might be available
in the U.S.,

and if Baylen
can benefit from it.

Let's just add it to the list
of things we need to talk

to Dr. Flaherty about.

I actually have a question
for the doctor.

How your medication
would work...

when you're pregnant?

What part of not pressuring me

to have kids before
our wedding isn't clicking?

I wasn't pressuring you.

[sighs]

[Colin]
It's good knowledge to have.

-Good knowledge for who?
-[Colin] For me.

For the future.

You got a mind of your own.

I'm so frustrated
between wedding planning

and Colin's career change.

We can't add a baby
into this mix.

We're not talking
about this right now.

We're not talking
about this right now.

[short whimper]

Miss it, b*tch!

[short whimper]

Oh, my God.

Josh was telling me you're
thinking about getting

into real estate.
-Yeah, I am.

More than 80% of people
who get their real estate

license stop, you know,
in less than five years.

[short whimper]

It makes me worried for Colin
because there is so much

potential to succeed
in this field,

but there's even
more potential to fail.

-There's this device I heard
about called Neupulse.
-Mm-hmm.

-That helps your tics.
-It's not available here.

If you did want to try it,
you'd have to go to the UK,

I'm afraid.
-Yeah.

So she's basically like,
"Give it a go."

"Except
for, it's in the UK."

[Julie] I'm thinking,
"How is this gonna work?"

Because she needs a lot of help
when she's traveling.

Anyways, with wedding planning,
it's just not in our budget.

[Baylen]
I don't think I realized
how much I actually want this

until this moment.

Anything to reduce my tics,
even the slightest,

would be a miracle,

but there's a lot of obstacles
standing in the way.