04x08 - Chill Out

[bunniefuu]

This is your favorite episode!

[ Cow moos ]

Okay, Oscar, are you ready
for an epic snow fight?

Start on
the count of three!

One, two, three   go!

Aw, man, I wish
I had real friends

so I can have a real snow fight.

[ Sighs ]
Huh?

[ Screams ] Oh, no  

Did somebody say snowball fight?

Oh, hey, Joey!

I was looking for a kid who
wanted to have a snowball fight.

Let me know
if you see him.

Got to be around here
somewheres.

Uncle Grandpa, it's me!

I'm the one that wants
to have a snowball fight!

Well, Joey, if it's
a snowball fight you want,

it's a snowball fight
you'll get!

I'll be right back!

All right!

Who's ready for a  

Wait, Uncle Grandpa   no!

What's wrong?

Well, no offense,
but I was kind of hoping

for a little more
competition,

seeing as how
you're an old man and all.

Oh, I get it.

It's not the first time
I've been rejected

because of my old age.

So you want some real
competition, huh?!

Yeah!
A snowball fight

that puts all other
snowball fights to shame?

Yeah!
Sheer snowball insanity?!

Yeah!

I know just
the place, Johnny!

Let's get this snowball fight
party started.

What do ya say, Jason?

Uh, Uncle Grandpa,
where are we going?

The North Pole.
It's where all the action is.

There she is, Jody, the famous,
much sought after North Pole.

So what's this have to do
with a snowball fight?

Uncle Grandpa?

Glad you asked, Jolene.

You see, the North Pole has been
fought over for years.

Many nations have tried
to claim it as their own,

but none have been successful
in retrieving it

from the defiant race
of snowmen.

These snowmen are sworn
protectors of the pole

and will stop
at nothing to defend it.

They may look like
cute stacks of snow

with carrot noses
and beady coal eyes,

but don't be fooled.

Yeah, yeah, whatever!

Let's get this snow fight
started already!

Hey, snowman   take that!

Ha ha ha!
Gotcha!

Joey, what are you,
crazy?!

Run!

[ Panting ]

Oh, man!
We're in for it now!

Uncle Grandpa,
what's going on?

You just started an all out w*r
with these snowmen,

and now there's
no turning back!

What?

You threw the first ball!

Now they really have
it in for us!

They've called in
reinforcements.

Here, take these.

Uncle Grandpa,
what's happening?!

That's Sergeant Grandpa
to you, maggot!

Sorry, sir.
Yes, sir!

Now, listen up!
We got to take out that bunker.

We're gonna get that Pole,
but we got about 10 enemies

ready to blow us away
at a moment's notice.

Hot dog!
I'm gonna take this hot dog,

rub it all over this map,
and then eat it.

Hot dog arific
w*r zone battle now!

I said, "Let's move out!"

[ Machine g*n fire ]

Cover your flank!
My what?

Enemies approaching

What's a klick, northeast?

[ Gasping ]
Sergeant Grandpa, what is  

Keep it down, Private.
I got to make a phone call.

This is Sergeant Grandpa,
come in.

Roger that  
Niner Alpha Tango Charlie

Sixer Zulu Tango Tango,
over out.

What?
Now, follow my lead!

Sergeant Grandpa,
what's going on?

The tango  
we're doing the tango.

Now follow my lead!

Dip, baby, dip!

Now twirl  
that's an order!

Well, no way we're gonna get
past that snowman's land.

So what are we gonna do?

I'll ask the questions
around here, Private!

So what are we gonna do?
Um...

Call in an airlift?

Are you asking me
or telling me, Private?!

Um, uh, I don't know, sir.

I should have you
court martialed,

you insolent
good for nothing grunt!

Now, here,
call in an airlift.

Um, hi, this is
Private Joey.

Give me that!
What do you think you're doing?!

This is Sergeant Grandpa,
need an airlift.

Coordinates   hot dog,
niner, 80 mustard.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Private, I need you
to man that door g*n

and take out
those ground targets.

Door g*n?
Ground targets, sir?

There better not be a
question mark

at the end
of that sentence!

No, sir! Sorry, sir!
Yes, sir!

We're approaching a lot of flak.

Jeez, Louise, they're trying
to turn us into Swiss cheese.

What's going on back there,
Private?

I thought I told you take out
those ground targets!

I'm trying, sir.
There's just too many of them!

I'm hit, I'm hit!

What?!
Man down!

We got a man down!

[ Moaning ]

All right, calm down, Private.
Medic has arrived.

We'll take care
of you in a jiffy.

It hurts, it hurts!

Private, suck it up!
I'm sorry, Sergeant...

[Groans]
...Grandpa.

Now let's see what we got.

Oh, jeez!

Is it bad?

I've seen worse.

Now let's get down
to business.

[ Groaning ] Oh, gosh!

Stay with me, Private!

So cold   feel so cold.

All right,
now let's clean up the wound.

Boy, this is messy!

All right,
Private, almost done.

Stay with me, Buddy.
Stay with me!

[ Sighs ]

Okay, Private, you're all
patched up, good to go.

Sergeant Grandpa, I want to
thank you for saving my life.

No need
to thank me, Private.

It's a soldier's duty to look
after his brothers in arms

and follow the sacred
soldier's code  

"Never leave a man behind!"

Don't you
forget that, Private.

We've been hit!

We're going down!
We're going down!

Well, Private,
looks like this is the end.

[ Bugle playing "Taps" ]

Good thing I remembered about
these spare parachutes

at the last minute,
or else we would have been  

Sergeant Grandpa!

Sergeant Grandpa, no!

Private!
Private, no!

Don't worry about me!
Get out while you still can!

Sergeant Grandpa, no!

Sergeant Grandpa,
please, no!

[ g*nf*re ]

Oh, man, what am I gonna do?

Well, well, well.

If it isn't Sergeant Grandpa.

Looks like you've picked
the wrong fight yet again.

We know your
little friend got away.

So why don't you make it
easy on yourself

and tell us
everything you know?

No!
I'll never talk, never!

I'm not
telling you nothing!

Very well, if that is the game
you want to play...

bring in the iceman!

♪♪

[ Chuckling ]

Huh?
What's going on?

What are you doing?!
No!

No, no,
not the ice cube!

[ Screams ]

Sergeant Grandpa  
he's in trouble!

But what am I gonna do?!

It's a soldier's duty to look
after his brothers in arms

and follow the sacred
soldier's code  

"Never leave a man behind!"

Don't you forget that, Private.

I won't forget it,
Sergeant Grandpa.

[ Laughing ]

Take that!
Whoo!

Yeah! [ Laughing ]

Oh, get this!
Ooh, I'm gonna get ya!

Yeah! [ Laughing ]

Whoo! Yeah!

[ Laughing ]

Get some!

Sir, the boy has broken through
our main gate

and is in the building!

Order to all troops to secure
the area, now!

It appears your
little soldier boy

is more powerful
than we thought.

But no matter  
we will squash him like

the tiny snowflake he is!

That's where you're wrong,
snowman!

Don't underestimate
my private!

Stop him!

It's time to give it up
and release the grandpa,

snowman person!

Sergeant Grandpa has
trained you well, I see.

But you should
not be so foolish

as to think you can
defeat me and my army.

He's got a snow g*n!
It's a trap!

[ Laughs ]

A pity,
you missed your target.

Good bye, soldier.
It was nice snowing you!

Not so fast, snowman person.

I didn't miss my target  
I nailed it!

Huh?

I'm free!

What?!

Belly Bag, give me
the hottest sauce you got!

Sure thing, Uncle Grandpa!

Here you go!

Uncle Grandpa:
"Crazy Myke's Hot Sauce.

Caution   extra hot!"

Sounds good to me!

[ Glass shatters ]

What in the living heck
is going on here?!

[ Whistling ]

[ Stammering ]

[ Screaming ]

Whoa!

I'm melting!

Melting!

Ah!

Now, was that an epic
snow fight or what, Joey?

Yeah.

[ Upbeat music plays ]

That was quite delicious.