04x11 - Hiccup Havok

[bunniefuu]

Blah blah blah blah blah blah 
blah blah.

[ Kaboom! ]

[ Cow moos ]

[ Organ music plays ]

[ Slurps ]

Hand me a 19mm socket,
would you, Zeke?

Oh, okay.

[ Slurping ]

Is this the one?

Ah, that's it.

I knew Papa didn't
raise no fool.

[ Wrench cranks ]

[ Gasp ] I think it's
someone's 12th birthday!

Ooh! Who's ready
for cupcakes, huh?

Freshly baked!

Ooh, did someone say
cupcakes?

I've really worked up
an appetite

roller skating all morning.

I thought you said you were
cutting back on cake, Kate.

Can it, birthday boy.

You're just jealous because
I got the brains and beauty.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[ Slurp ]

[ Hiccups, belches ]

Hey, what's with all
the commotion out here?!

Does anyone know
how hard it is

changing the differential
on a positraction  

[ Hiccups ]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh!
[ Hiccups ]

[ Hiccups ]

Kate!

Someone stop that candle!

Got it!

[ Hiccups ]

[ Hiccuping continuously ]

[ Kaboom! ]

[ Fire crackling ]

Darn it, Zeke,
you and your hiccups!

Why does this
keep happening to me?!

Whoa, talk about a party!

What seems
to be the problem, Zeke?

Oh, it's just my stupid hiccups,
Uncle Grandpa.

Don't despair, young man.

Your Uncle Grandpa
is the best in the business

when it comes to helping
kids and their problems.

I know just the thing
to take care of this.

Oh, yeah?
What's tha  

Good morning!!

[ Hiccups ]

Sorry, still there.

Whoa, you sure are a tough kid
to scare, Zeke.

Lucky for you, there's more than
one way to cure hiccups.

For I promise, as my civic duty
as a law abiding citizen,

under oath of the Constitution,

to help any and all children
of the world  

Even someone like you.

Come on, Zeke,
we've got some work to do.

This may look like an ordinary
old glass of water,

but in reality, it's the perfect
cure for the common hiccup.

The key is not
drinking from here,

but from the opposite side.

[ Creak! ]

[ Tink! ]

[ Slurping ]

And presto chacho  
no more hiccups.

Now you try.

Okay.

Yep, that's it.

[ Belches ]

[ Hiccups ]

All right. I guess we
didn't use enough water.

[ Hiccups ]
Let's try this.

Don't forget to drink from
the opposite side, Zeke!

[ Elevator dings ]
Hey, Uncle G,
have you seen my other  

Come on! Get in there!

I'll...come back later.

Ah. That should put
a bear's hiccups to sleep.

How you feeling, Zeke?

[ Groans ]

[ Hiccups ]

[ Glass vibrates,
shatters ]

This is
a classic hiccup remedy

and a favorite
among latchkey kids.

First
stick your tongue out.

Ahhhh.

[ Muffled ] Like this.

Then grab hold
with your fingertips...

...and pull.

Ahhhhh.

Ahhhhh.

And keep pulling and pulling
and keep pulling...

until you get to the end.

[ Hiccups ]

This is a method as old
as Father Time himself.

You simply hold your breath
as long as you can.

Let's see if you can
keep up with

old Uncle Iron Lungs
over here.

[ Inhales sharply ]

Okay.

[ Inhales sharply ]

[ Gagging ]

[ Spitting ]

[ Gurgling ]

[ Rip! ]

[ Kaboom! ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Panting ]

[ Hiccups ]

Maybe some blind folded
gentle guitar playing

will soothe your hiccups.

Sure, I guess
it couldn't hurt.

[ Guitar plays ]

[ Hair dryer whirs ]

[ Shouting ] And maybe
the hot wind from this

industrial strength hair dryer

will blow the hiccups
out of you!

[ Guitar twangs ]

[ Crash! ]

Doing better?

[ Hiccups ]

Doing...great.

[ Teeth shatter ]

Stand on your head.

[ Grunts ]

Aah! Aah!

[ Hiccups ]

Ugh!

Juggle spaghetti.

Looking good.
[ Hiccups ]

I should have known
that was going to happen.

[ Hiccups ]
Try this.

[ Trumpet plays ]
[ Hiccups ]

Or this.

[ Hiccups ]
Whoo!

[ Panting ]
[ Hiccups ]

Aah!
[ Smack! ]

Ow!
[ Bell dings ]

[ Hiccups ]
[ Snoring ]

[ Hiccups ]

[ Hiccups ]

This doesn't make any sense!

I've tried every possible
combination I can think of,

and still nothing's working.

What must I do?

[ Hiccups ]
Sorry, Uncle Grandpa.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I allowed myself
to fail in helping you.

I'm sorry to make
promises I can't keep.

[ Sniffs ]

I've failed you,
I failed myself,

I failed Belly Bag.

How?
I'm just an object.

I don't have expectations.

Although,
sometimes I wish I did.

[ Purring ]
I failed Giant Realistic
Flying Tiger.

[ Farts ]

I even failed Manlamp.

Talk about dramatic.

[ Sobs ]
Hey, it's okay.

No, it's not!

As much as I hate
to admit it, Zeke,

I'm going to need help
to help you.

And there's only
one person I can think of

gracious enough
to take this problem on  

Doctor Helmut Bratwurst.

Lucky for you,
he's the best around.

Nice guy, too.

[ Engine revs ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

Are you sure about this,
Uncle Grandpa? [ Hiccups ]

Have I ever been wrong
before?

Oh, wait, yeah, I have  

About me being able
to help you.

Don't you think
you're being a little...

[ Hiccups ]
... tough on yourself?

If I was a little
tough on myself,

maybe we wouldn't
have to be here right now.

Stay put
and wait for the doctor.

There's no point
in me being here.

Uncle Grandpa,
where are you going?

[ Hiccups ]

[ German accent ] What seems to
be the trouble?

I've been expecting you.

[ Thunder crashes ]

At long last,
a new patient to the ward.

I understand you have
an advanced case of the hiccups.

I can certainly
exterminate the symptom.

Uh...excuse me.
[ Hiccups ]

I I'm just gonna go find
Uncle Grandpa.

[ Laughs maniacally ]
Nonsense!

You're with me now.

Oh, yes.
Excellent cheekbones.

A nicely shaped cranium.

Wonderful bicuspids.

[ Muffled ]
What are you doing?

Just making sure
you're fit enough

to withstand the operation.

Operation?!

Of course!

How else do you expect
to get rid of your hiccups?

Now, what would be
the appropriate tool

for such a procedure?

Ooh!
Obviously the butcher's hook!

This tool hasn't been used
since the last boy

who came here
with the hiccups.

But his hiccups were only
half as strong as yours.

It took me three days
to finally

yank out the obstruction!

[ Hiccups ]

Don't be foolish.

You're only prolonging
the inevitable.

U U Uncle Grandpa!

[ Door slams ]
[ Hiccups ]

Uncle Grandpa has proven
he cannot help you.

No one can except me.

[ Hiccups ]

Now, if you're done
fiddling about,

let us get down
to business, shall we?

[ Straps stretching ]

[ Hiccups ]

Hold very, very, still.

[ Hiccups ]

[ Grunts ]

It will only be more painful
if you struggle.

Now please
prepare yourself...

[ Thunder crashes ]
... for the hook!

Aaaaaah!

Hey, I think...

Yeah!

My hiccups are finally gone!

Well, of course they are.

I told you I was gonna
stop your hiccups.

Uncle Grandpa?

It was you the whole time?

But, why?

My plan was twofold, Zeke  

scare the living daylights
out of you

like you've never been
scared before

and make you lose
those nasty hiccups.

Yep. That's right.
Old Uncle G does it again.

Catch you later, Zeke.

I'm out of this dump.

Hey, what about
undoing these straps?

Uncle Grandpa?

[ Grunts ]

Uncle Grandpa?!

[ Tires screech ]

Uncle Grandpa?!

[ Thunder crashes ]

♪♪

Hi. I'm Uncle Grandpa.

Every year,
millions of Americans suffer

from an extremely debilitating
case of the hiccups.

If you or someone you know does,
make fun of the way they sound.

Then they'll be sure
to never do it again

for fear of embarrassment.

Oh, yeah, one last thing  

Don't steal my potato chips.

[ Munches ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Slurping ]

Oh, no!

I spilled!

You need a hankie?

No, Mr. Gus.
I need an emergency bath!

[ Alarm blares ]

Hold this.

[ Panting ]

[ Groans ]

[ Pop! ]

[ Faucet squeaks ]

[ Bubbles popping ]

[ Electricity buzzing ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Warbles ]

[ Bell dings! ]
ALL: Good Morning!

[ Mechanical whirring ]

[ Pop! ]

Good as new!

[ Crash! ]

[ Subway engine shuts off ]

[ Alarm blares ]
Ahhhh.

[ Alarm stops ]

Not again!

[ Panting ]

Ugh!

[ Panting continues ]

♪♪

That was quite delicious.