09x16 - Men, Music, and Malice

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[Jamie] This is the true story...

[Matt] ...of seven strangers...

[Melissa] ...picked to live in a mansion...

[Kelley] ...work together...

[Danny] ...and have their lives taped.

[David] To find out what happens...

[Julie] ...when people stop being polite...

[Jamie] ...and start getting real.

-The Real World...
-[Julie] ...New Orleans!

[theme music concludes]

[upbeat music playing]

-[Julie] Hmm.
-[Danny] There's a couple in here for you.

What do you think about that waiter?

[Julie] Which one?
They're all over the place.

-Oh, yeah, he's pretty cute.
-Why don't you go in there and hit on him?

I would love to foster a relationship
with somebody. That'd be cool.

[Danny] Go ask that waiter...
[chuckles] ..."Is your table ready yet?"

[indistinct chatter]

[Danny] Look at her, she's like, "Oh, oh."

-[Kelley] I think he is cute.
-I told you, I got good taste.

Julie, right now, is definitely
vying for male attention.

She's been, like, a walking horn-ball.

-[imitates dog barking]
-[laughs]

-What'd he say?
-I don't know.

-Ten minutes. I wasn't listening.
-[all laugh]

-You were just looking at him like...
-I'm like, "Hi."

-Okay, next table's ready.
-[Danny] All right.

You wanna go.

-Go get him. He's so cute.
-Just calm down.

-What's your name?
-Baxter.

[Kelley] Baxter.
That's a good name. Baxter.

-[laughs]
-[Kelley] You can be our waiter, though.

-[Julie] What's your name?
-Squirrel.

-Squirrel?
-Squirrel.

[Kelley] Hey,
does Baxter have a girlfriend?

-Yeah, he's pretty hot, huh?
-See?

Yeah, he does.
Well, actually, he has several.

-[Danny laughs]
-Baxter, they want to get some of you.

-[Baxter] What?
-[all laugh]

Girlfriend or no girlfriend?

-[Baxter] No girlfriend.
-[Kelley] Okay.

How old are you?

-[Baxter] Twenty.
-[Kelley] Twenty? Julie's 20. She's 20.

-She wants Baxter's phone number.
-[Squirrel] I'll get it for you.

Whatever. You [bleep].

Dude, let me, like,
play my own game, you know.

I can't believe you did that to me.
That's so embarrassing.

-[Danny laughs]
-Dude.

-[indistinct chatter]
-[Danny] Matt, we found Julie a new man.

-[Matt] Really?
-[Danny] Yes.

-[Danny] This is Matt.
-Ba... Hi, how you doing?

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

-[Kelley] Bye, Baxter.
-Take it easy. Nice to meet you.

All right, Julie, it was nice meeting you.

-[laughs]
-Take it easy.

-So you don't have to give me a hug.
-[all laugh]

-[Matt] Julie, he tried to give you a hug.
-[Julie] No. No. No.

Julie, just run back in
and give him a quick hug.

Seriously, like, just leave it.

[Jamie] You just embarrassed
the hell out of her.

[Matt] I got news for you,
Baxter grabbed my [bleep].

-[all laugh]
-So don't worry about it.

[upbeat music playing]

[Danny] There's a couple of people here
that don't like anybody in this house.

One of them does not care a damn bit
to hang out with anybody in this house.

-David.
-Exactly.

-Okay.
-He does not try. Period.

And the other one tries so hard

and is so fake about it,
it makes you want to throw up.

-Super-duper nice.
-Yeah.

-[Jamie] Hello.
-Hello.

How's it going?

-[Kelley] Good.
-All right.

-What are you guys doing tonight?
-We're just talking about you guys.

[clicks tongue] Uh.
What was I going to say?

-Well, do you want to go out?
-No. I don't think so.

[Jamie] No. It sounds like you don't.

It's just sort of
emotionally draining to have people...

dislike you.

All right.

-Kool and the g*ng.
-No thanks, but have fun.

Okay, well,
I know who... who person "B" is.

[Danny] Yeah.

And do you see how,
um, there are, like, sides

sprouting up?
And there are people on teams.

[Jamie] This is so third grade.

He feels very victimized
in that little triangle

because he doesn't believe
that he's done anything wrong.

I want to be, like,
"You harbor such jealousy."

"You harbor such, like, distaste when

it's really... you're the [bleep] issue."

I'm going to talk with Kelley.

I'm just trying to, like,
let it all out. Just tell me,

'cause every time I talk with Kelley,

she's never ever articulated
her issues with me. I just,

I want you to tell me... [chuckles]

...'cause I... I must be ignorant
and oblivious to it.

[upbeat music playing]

[Danny] Let's skateboard downtown.

-[Julie] You wanna?
-[Danny] Mm-hmm.

[Julie] You wanna skateboard
uptown with me?

-Uptown?
-[Julie] Yeah.

Let's go to this, uh,
coffee shop called Neutral Ground.

-[Danny] For what?
-'Cause it's open mic night.

Okay. But after you call your boy.

After I call the boy. Not my boy, the boy.

[dialing tones]

-[line ringing]
-Is Baxter there?

Thanks.

-[Baxter over phone] Hello?
-Baxter?

-[Baxter] Yeah.
-Hey, this is Julie.

[Baxter] Julie! Hey, what's happening?

I'm not happy with the way...
that my life is right at this moment.

What are you doing tonight?

[Baxter] Um. I don't know. [chuckles]
I'll probably watch The Sopranos.

I want to branch out
and see what else there is to see.

Maybe I'll come over
and watch Sopranos with you.

-[Baxter] You want to?
-Would that be okay?

[Baxter] That'd be great, yeah.

I know that there's a world
out there moving

but I can't see it, and I can't touch it
and I can't taste it, and I want to so bad

and I don't feel like
I'm going to be happy until I do.

-Okay.
-[Baxter] Okay, cool.

-I'll see you later.
-[Baxter] All right, Julie.

Bye, Baxter.

Oh, what am I doing?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I don't even know who this person is.

[piano melody playing]

[Julie] I go to an open mic night

at just a little coffee shop
that I like to hang out in.

[piano lilting melody concludes]

[scattered applause]

That was really good.

-[man] Can I sit here?
-Yeah, totally.

-[laughs] That was so good.
-Thank you.

I meet this other guy
named Matt, coincidentally.

Are you going next or is she gonna go?

-No, I probably shouldn't go.
-Oh, you're not going to go.

I think, okay, maybe
it would be good if I go and like,

live out that dream
of sitting in a coffee shop

and having somebody hear my song.

So, I've never, like, played
in front of people before, you know? So,

-I get really nervous to play.
-[Matt 2] Mm-hmm.

I don't know why.

I'm supposed to be
somewhere right now, but...

He's so dang cute, you know? [chuckles]

-So, I'm torn.
-[phone dialing]

Baxter? Hey, it's Julie.
I'm late. [laughs] Can you tell?

Um. Can I still come over?

I really would like to find
somebody I can love,

even if it's just a friend,
a really good friend.

Okay, well, I'll see you later.

[giggles] See ya.

Oh, my gosh, I can't believe
I did that. That was so not cool.

[upbeat music playing]

[Baxter] Come on in.

-[Julie] Oh, this place is so cool.
-[Baxter chuckles] Oh, yeah?

[Julie] You guys are having
a little party, huh?

-[indistinct chatter]
-[Baxter] This is my room here.

[Julie] Nice.

Oh, it's perfect. [laughs]

-Did you have trouble finding the place?
-No. I just got, uh, I just got tied up.

-So you want to go chill with your homies?
-[Baxter] I guess so.

-What do you want to do?
-[giggles] Make out.

-Just kidding! I'm just kidding!
-[gasps] I was...

-Oh, my God. [chuckles]
-[laughs]

[Julie] Baxter is cute
and he's nice and stuff, but, like,

there is some reason that
I cannot get close to guys.

-All right. It was fun.
-All right. Take it easy.

-See ya. [chuckles]
-See ya.

-[Julie laughs] See ya.
-[Baxter] All right, Julie, I'll see ya.

-Take it light.
-[upbeat music concludes]

[tense music playing]

The relationship between us
is very strained and it's, like,

it's tense and it's...

She has this distaste for me

and I want to tell her,
and I think I will tell her,

that she needs to take
ownership over her feelings.

Jealousy is... is rooted in, like...

in, like, competition.

I think it's pretty damn
vain of you to assume...

-I mean, obviously.
-[Kelley] ...that I am jealous of you

or have a problem with you
because I like you or something like that.

I just think that's crazy.

[Jamie] You're so frustrated with the way
I live my life, with my business.

If I say I drive a BMW,
I can see you just, like

you just get pissed off.
"How do you drive...?"

[Kelley] This is...
You're talking out of your [bleep].

-Okay.
-I think you're the one

who has the issues. I don't think it's me.

[Jamie] Okay, fine.

Why do you care?
I can live... I'm fine without...

-I came up here because I...
-[Jamie] It's immature, though, girl.

-It's immature, okay? It's, like...
-How is it...

[Jamie] ...so third grade that you're doing.

-It's... it's telling.
-[Kelley] Because...

Because I don't communicate with you.

[Jamie] No, I'm dealing
with a psycho woman.

-That's who I'm dealing with.
-[Kelley] Oh, please.

-[Jamie scoffs]
-Give me a break.

Now who's in third grade? God!

-[tense music concludes]
-[siren wails]

[perky music playing]

Hey. How are you?

[Matt 2] I took the day off school
'cause I got home too late. But I just...

You said you wanted
to practice, maybe, and...

-I didn't know what you were up to today.
-Yeah. You took the day off?

Yeah, because it was,
like, I got home, like...

so I just didn't have anything ready.

I need to just grab this opportunity,
grab this moment and run with it

and not keep wallowing in the past
and worrying about the future.

-[Matt 2] Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

How do you know Matt?

I went to, um, I went to
Neutral Ground on the way to Baxter's,

and then, uh, I just decided to stay.

[Danny] So you never went to Baxter's?
-No, I did go to Baxter's. I did.

[Danny] I'm disappointed with you.

-I'm gonna have a talk with you.
-Why?

[Danny] I think it's obvious
that Baxter is interested in her, so

I'm going to step in here
and I'm going to fix the situation.

-[Julie chuckles] Okay, well?
-I'll talk about it later.

-[Julie] Sorry.
-Bye.

[Julie] I bought this amp
for this guitar, but I just don't like it.

[chuckles] 'Cause I'm,
like, "Oh, it's so loud."

-Yeah, you're afraid to be loud yet.
-[Julie laughs] I am kind of, yeah.

'Cause loud means
more people are going to hear you.

-[Julie] Mm-hmm.
-If you don't like that...

You know, it's not like
I'm worried about if I suck

or if people don't like
the way I sound or that so much.

It's just, like, it's kind of like
throwing yourself out naked.

It's just dumb. It really is, because...

if I'm going to be all,
like, sappy and like,

"Oh, this is so expressive,
I don't want to, you know, play,"

then I should just
put it away and never play it.

[Matt 2] You should share it, you know.

[upbeat music playing]

[Julie] I want to come and, like...
and I still want to play,

but maybe not just, like,
maybe I'll play a couple songs,

but, like, I don't know
if I want to have, like, a whole block...

-[Kym] Oh, that's fine.
-...set aside for me. You know what I mean?

Playing guitar is a gift that I have

and there's no reason why
I shouldn't share it with other people.

[Kym] Well, I'm looking forward
to seeing you tonight.

Okay, see you tonight.

-[Kym] Bye-bye.
-Bye, Kym.

People use music in different ways.

I use my music
I guess you'd say more as,

um, therapy? [laughs]

I started learning to play guitar
in high school because

it was kind of a sad time in my life.

This instrument encompasses,
like, all the ugliness

and the bad times that
I've been through, and, like

to take that outlet
and just put it on public display...

I've never done that before,
and it's uncomfortable for me

and I'm just trying to get used to it.

[upbeat music playing]

-[Julie chuckles]
-[Danny] You gonna play?

-[Julie] Um, I don't think so.
-[Danny] Yeah, yes, you are.

-Yes, you are.
-[Julie] No, seriously. Like...

-[Danny] What?
-I get really nervous, you know.

-So?
-[chuckles nervously] I'm nervous.

[Danny] She's trying to get rid of me.

And it's because she does not
want me to hear her play. And...

But I want to hear her play.

Just one song, maybe?

I'll sit down and if I feel, like,
inspired and get my courage up,

maybe I will. [laughs]

It's sad to me, because I do like guitar.

I think it's a beautiful instrument
and I think that it's silly to isolate it.

♪ He comes like a river ♪

♪ And he leaves like
A crying summer storm ♪

♪ Against my window I press my hand ♪

♪ And watch him walk away ♪

♪ Away ♪

♪ Oh, you... ♪

It's easy to look at Julie as this, like,
naive, simple-minded kid that runs around,

but, like, when she plays her music you
just hear her deep feelings coming out.

You get to see
a completely different side of Julie.

♪ Of you ♪

♪ You're all I've been waiting for ♪

♪ And I knew ♪

♪ I knew when I saw you ♪

-I'm all depressing. Sorry. [giggles]
-[crowd applauding, cheering]

All my music is so sad.
I don't know why, it just is.

So, like, my goal is
I'm going to start writing happier music.

[crowd cheering, applauding]

[upbeat music playing]

[Kelley] I've been waiting, waiting,
waiting for you to say something,

but you won't. So, of course,
once again, I have to say something.

[Jamie] Well, you know, I said,
I... I came to you and...

And you called me
a psycho [bleep], though.

[Jamie] I feel like we haven't gotten...

But we didn't get past
the psycho [bleep] part,

which still sort of, like, resonates
in my head, I'm just being honest.

I don't want you to think I'm psycho.

I'm not psycho. I mean, I'm sorry
that you felt that way. I don't think...

-No, I'm sorry I even mentioned...
-[Kelley] If I portrayed that to you...

-...those words.
-[Kelley] ...then I apologize.

[Jamie] And I completely
misunderstood your statement

of "Are you an [bleep]?
I hear you're a Phi Delt."

And, basically, what that...
what that told me was

Kelley brings in... is harboring
complete biases towards, uh, White,

-you know...
-[Kelley] No.

-...frat boy Ivy League...
-[Kelley] No.

-...capitalist pig ideology, that's what...
-[Kelley] No, that's not what I meant.

When I walked in this door,
and everybody said to me,

up to this point "Yeah, I thought
you were the sorority [bleep]

that was the token,
like, cute White girl."

Everybody told me that.

I remember when you walked in the door,
I felt at ease for a second.

There was something inside
of me that was, like,

"Oh, my God, there's...
there's my counterpart."

"There's the person." You know? And then,

-when it didn't click or something...
-[Jamie] Right.

...like, friendship-wise or whatever,

it was just, I don't know,
like, it was confusing.

It was... just caring about somebody
because you want to be friends with them

for whatever reason because you think
you can identify with that person

and then, when you
don't get together on the same page

then it makes things
really hard in your life.

-So that's it, huh?
-Yeah, well, I mean, that's not it.

It's good, though. Thank you.

I just realized that
we actually can communicate.

Oh, my God, what an epiphany.

I didn't think
that was possible, but we can.

[Jamie] This is good. Trust me.

-The ground made.
-[Kelley] Good. All right.

Well, I'm... I'm happy for that.

[upbeat music playing]

[Julie] Did you see
Jamie bought Kelley flowers?

-He bought those for her?
-Mm-hmm.

Okay, this is why I love Jamie

because, like, he bought them
but he didn't, like, give them to her.

He just knew they were her favorite
and he put them up there

and, just, like, put them there.

-[Matt] They are her favorite flower.
-Yeah.

And he totally did that with her in mind.

And I think it's so sweet,
'cause that's, like...

The kind of thing you would
like a boy to do for you.

[Julie] Who?

[Julie] Matt?

[Danny]

[Julie] Well, no, no,
you don't understand. Like,

that Matt kid?
I wasn't trying to hook it up.

Oh, I know you were.

-No, he's g*y, Danny.
-[Danny] Oh, I know.

-Yeah.
-[Danny] Don't you know I can tell?

Oh, yeah, I... I knew that, like, very...

-soon on.
-Like, when I shook his hand,

the way that he looked at me
I was, like, "Mm-hmm. What's up?"

[Julie laughing]

I'm just thinking,
does Julie realize this?

That'd have been good.
Julie falls in love with a g*y man.

[upbeat music playing]

Baxter's friends are,
some of them are just a wreck.

I go to a party at his house
and it wasn't, like, an official date.

Don't worry about Baxter's friends.
You just worry about Baxter.

That's true.

[Julie] I walk into his apartment

and they're all drinking
and I'm really not.

[Danny] Everybody's, like,
"Oh, let's have a girl boxing match."

This'll be fun.

-[crowd yelling]
-[rock music playing]

And this girl asked me
if I want to learn to box.

And I say, "Sure, why not?"

-I'll fight you. I'll fight you.
-[Squirrel] You want to?

-[boy] No. Uh!
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's gonna box me.

-Squirrel.
-Yeah, she will.

Are you gonna beat me up?

I'm, like, "You're going
to go easy on me, right?"

"I don't know how to fight.
I'm not a fightin' woman."

-I'm not gonna mess you up, man.
-Okay, okay.

I'm gonna go box.

-[indistinct chatter]
-Julie, come back!

I have no clue why
she decides to box this girl.

[crowd yelling]

This girl definitely has intentions
to beat the hell out of Julie. [chuckles]

[record scratching]

-Go!
-[crowd yelling]

I'm just, like, "Oh, my gosh.
Where am I? Take me home."

[crowd yelling]

My gosh! She was going at me.
She was, like,

-left, right and uppercut.
-[crowd cheering]

Go, Squirrel! [cheers] Love you, baby!

[Julie] All these people
are around like, making bets

and, like, "Go, go, go! Beat her!"

-[crowd cheers]
-Welcome to the real world, baby.

[giggles] It was insane.
She was supposed to be joking around.

[perky music playing]

I would be fine with, like,

joking around boxing
but they were, like, trying to k*ll me.

That girl seriously wanted to k*ll me.

-[Melissa] Well, her name was Squirrel.
-[Danny laughing]

-[Melissa] What the hell do you expect?
-[Danny laughs]

Julie goes home with, like,
the side of her face all swelled up

and has to put ice on it.

Ow! Damn! Darn, I mean.

I just better not get a little purple eye.

I'm like, "Baxter, what are you doing
hanging out with these brats?"

Baxter's cute and stuff,
but I've come to the conclusion,

and not... I'm not lowering
my standards, by any means,

but I believe that

the most important thing is I just want
someone who's nice. [chuckles]

He is... he seems nice,

but I don't think
he is really nice because...

-[Danny] No, I think he is nice.
-You're...

You're only as nice
as the company you keep sometimes.

I guess there's no more Baxter.

[perky music concludes]

You know what, David,
maybe you can help me with my game.

I need to meet a nice Christian boy.

And he really shouldn't smoke.

And he should like cats,
and he should be able to cook,

and it'd be nice
if he had really beautiful eyes.

And his name can't be,
like, Herbie or something.

Somebody that can have fun.

-And if he could read.
-Can read.

[Julie] That's always a good attribute.

I just want you to go find him.
Put a little ribbon on him.

[David]
You're not ready for the game, then.

But I don't think affection's a game.

Because good things come
to those who keep their pants on.

[David] Good things also come to those
who to those who take their pants off.

-[Julie laughs] Oh, gosh.
-[David] You know?