16x09 - Heading Home

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[Wes] This is the true story...

[Lacey] Yee-haw! Of seven strangers...

[Rachel] Picked to live
in a house. [chuckling]

[Nehemiah] Work together,
and have their lives taped. Ooh, ooh.

[Johanna] To find out what happens... oh...

[Danny] When people stop being polite.
Shut up!

[Melinda] And start getting real.

[all laughing]

-The Real World: Austin.
-[theme music concludes]

[rock music playing]

[Johanna] Things between Leo
and I are just going slow.

I'm just gonna let...
See where it takes me.

[cellphone ringing]

-[Johanna] Oh, is that your new phone?
-[Leo] No, it's the old one still.

I'll call you back, Kev.

[Johanna] When he tried
to hold my hand, I pulled back.

I don't like holding people's hands
who I don't know.

[laughs] Just link arms
with me, please. Trust me.

I just want to have a good time.

I don't want to hold anyone's hand,
unless I want to hold their hand. [laughs]

-Bye. Okay, bye-bye.
-Later, babe.

-[Johanna] Thank you for dinner.
-[Leo] Thank you.

[rock music fades out]

[Rachel] Man, that fish is dying.

[groans]

[slurps]

Good thing there's no microphone
on here, b*tch.

[chuckles]

[Rachel] How'd it go?
I didn't even get to hear.

Was there chemistry
when you guys were sober?

There's a lot more friend chemistry
right now than

"I want to jump your bones"
kinda chemistry.

I mean, it went nice, I had a good time,
we had good conversation.

-I was being...
-[Rachel] So, there still is potential,

but right now it's friends?

-Yeah. Um...
-[Rachel] Okay.

Well, that's the way all good
relationships start, Johanna.

[Johanna] Well, he went... he went...
He grabbed my hand

and tried to walk with me.

-You didn't want to touch his hand?
-[Lacey] Heaven forbid.

You've already made out with him.

You're gonna stick your tongue
in his mouth,

-but not let him touch your hand?
-[Johanna] Correction. Correction.

I made out with him while I was drunk.

-I was a different person then.
-[Lacey] Doesn't matter.

There's a difference
between a bar hookup

-and a relationship.
-That intimacy. In intimacy,

-holding your hand is intimate.
-Okay.

'Cause I've kissed a lot more guys
than I've ever held their hands.

-I think you guys are nuts.
-[Nehemiah] Have a good time.

-No!
-[rock music concluding]

Why don't you want to talk about Leo?

-'Cause there's nothing to talk about.
-Hmm.

-What do you want me to say?
-[Wes] Are you a big player?

No. He's just there. He's my friend.

So, you know guys like you
all over the place,

-but yet you can't commit?
-[Johanna] It's not that I can't commit.

I don't want to get hurt,
so I don't want

to get my feelings involved,
so I just don't.

Johanna has some massive
trust issues,

based off of a very,
very long important relationship

that she's had in her life.

So, you don't ever bother
even trying to trust a guy

because you
just automatically assume you can't?

[Johanna] Um...

Well, when you put it that way,
it sounds horrible.

-But something along those lines. [laughs]
-[laughs]

[jazz music playing]

[tram bell ringing]

-[Leo] Hi.
-[Johanna] Hey, Leo.

[Leo] I was calling to invite you
over to dinner.

[Johanna] Well, we have work
at 8:30 tonight.

[Leo] Okay.

[Johanna] We're working out
of the club Deville.

[Leo] Club Deville.
Yeah, I love club Deville.

[Johanna] If you, I mean,
want to meet us there.

[Leo] I'll definitely swing by.

[Lacey] Leo is very considerate
of Johanna's wishes.

She knows she's got him.

All right, let's go. Out the door.

Okay, the two boys
carry the two big things.

-The girls carry the rest.
-[coughs]

-I'm holding the boom pole.
-I'll do sound.

I'll direct.

-[Wes] I'll hold the camera.
-[jazz music concluding]

-[Melinda] I can imagine.
-[Johanna] There's Jenn. Hi, Jenn.

-How're we gonna find one?
-[Lacey] We got a tripod.

-Oh, great. Do you know how to use it?
-[Lacey] No.

The objective tonight
is for you guys to, um,

film this band, two-camera sh**t.

So, you guys need to divide yourselves up.
So, what do y'all know about this band?

[Johanna] That they're named
after the moonlight towers in Austin.

[electric guitar playing]

-Don't put your camera...
-[Jenn] Go, go, go.

[Johanna laughing]

[indistinct chatter]

["Goin' for Drinks
by Moonlight Towers playing]

♪ The night is young ♪

♪ I can tell by the look in your eyes ♪

♪ A couple of drinks
And we'll both be where we need to be ♪

-[grunts]
-[crowd cheering, applauding]

["Goin' for Drinks" concluding]

[band member] Well, thanks for coming out.

-[Rachel] Hi there, rock star.
-[soft music playing]

[Wes] Part of me loves Leo to death.

He knows how to treat Johanna
with respect. I like that.

But another part of me sits back and says,

"Man, he's doing more with her than I am."
And I'm jealous about that.

-[Nehemiah] Let's do it.
-[Lacey] Unwind.

Can someone take the tripod?

Rachel, Jo, and Lacey
decide they want to go out.

Me, Wes, and Nehemiah

-get stuck carrying all of the equipment.
-[soft music concluding]

[Wes] I really miss Danny,
especially on nights like this.

[Nehemiah] Oh,
so he could be there to help?

-[Wes] Yeah. [laughing]
-[Nehemiah laughing]

[instrumental music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[Rachel] Ideally, I want Johanna and Leo
to end up together

because he's such a great guy.

-[Johanna laughs]
-He misses you.

But I think that
Johanna also likes a challenge,

and Leo's kinda taken that out for her.

[crickets chirping]

[instrumental music concluding]

I'm super, super tired 'cause of my, ugh,
so I'm gonna go to bed.

-[Johanna] All right.
-[Rachel] Okay.

[soft music playing]

-[Lacey] What the crap?
-[Ryan] What?

[Lacey] I'm watching on the camera,
I'm watching Johanna and Leo,

and they're sitting
on opposite ends of the couch.

And she's playing with her hair.

-What do you mean?
-[Leo] I wa...

[Lacey] Aw, that was so cute.

He just laughed and turned,
and, like, scooted over

like he was trying
to adjust himself, but he, like...

But he's really, like,
trying to scoot closer,

-and she's not picking up on it at all.
-[soft music concluding]

[rock music playing]

♪ It's real life and our chemistry ♪

♪ Well, it's suffering ♪

♪ From entropy ♪

[rock music concluding]

-[instrumental music playing]
-[indistinct chatter]

Every girl in this house,
except for you right now,

is playing games.
Johanna's playing a game with me.

[Lacey] Oh, I know.

Johanna brings home Leo,
and I'm like, "Trust me, Johanna,

two can play at this game."

All the game with Johanna takes
to win is patience.

I got five bucks says if I wanted to,
I can make out with her in three weeks.

Hmm. As much as Johanna lets him flirt,

she has no interest in him.

Trust me, she'll make that move.

I'm gonna start timing it,
starting tomorrow.

But the second she starts kissing me,

I'll kiss back for,
like, less than a second.

And then I'll pull away,
I'll look her in the eyes, and say,

"This is what you coulda had,"
and walk away.

[Lacey laughing]
Have you pre-planned this?

-Yeah.
-That's funny.

I am gonna try and make Johanna as jealous

as I truthfully felt last night
when she brought home Leo.

[rock music playing]

♪ Hot like a fire in the midnight sun ♪

♪ Hot like the heat
When the pale boy come ♪

[Wes] Kevin, what's up, man?

♪ Hot like the lightning
And the thu-thu-thunder ♪

I will make you like Austin.
Can I guarantee you that?

-Okay.
-[laughs]

Megan is some girl who, for some reason,
finds me attractive,

and is coming on as strong
as any girl can possibly come on.

♪ I'm hot like a fire
In the midnight sun ♪

♪ Hot like the heat
When the pale boy come ♪

♪ Hot like uh
I'm like open in the summer ♪

♪ Hot like the lightning
And the thu-thu-thunder ♪

♪ Hot like the heat
From my fender amplifier ♪

♪ Hot like yo
I came to take y'all higher... ♪

-Tired of this.
-[Megan chuckles]

♪ Hot like a handful of cold hard cash ♪

You are so out of control.

-[Wes] Okay.
-You need to be spanked soon.

The way that Megan is coming
onto me makes me realize

that she doesn't want to hold hands.

She wants to hold something else.
And I'm sure as hell

gonna take her back to my bedroom
and see what she wants to hold.

-[Wes] Do you...
[Megan] I want to see the house.

Okay, we'll do...

-we'll do the tour. We'll start up here.
-[rock music concluding]

-[Megan] The bathroom.
-[Wes] This would be the bathroom.

Okay, look at this.

-[Megan] Oh!
-[Wes smooching]

That was a good start to the tour.

-[chuckles] All right, this way now.
-[chuckles] Oh.

This is the orgy bed.

[chuckles]

-[grunts]
-[chuckles] My shoes are coming off.

[Megan chuckles]

[kisses]

[Wes] All right.
Now we're done with the orgy bed.

[both laugh]

-[classical music playing]
-[Wes] That room is my room.

-What's this for?
-Good luck shutting the door.

[Wes] Do you remember which one my bed is?

[Megan] This one.

[smooches, chuckles]

I've never been around
people having sex before,

and so it's kind of weird
when I'm trying to just walk into my room,

and, um, yeah, I got a glimpse
of some nasty bunny sex. [laughs]

[whispers] I just saw
naked Wes butt up in the air.

-[chuckles]
-[Lacey] It's like this.

[whispers] But I just, like...
I can't get over the fact that,

like, they don't even know each other.
It's so weird to me.

-Like, it seems like it should be like...
-[Megan moaning]

[gags quietly]

[Megan moaning]

[whispers] My boy.

[Megan moaning]

[gags quietly]

[classical music concluding]

[Johanna]

-[whispers] I don't know.
-He better. She was gross.

-You can't be mad at him.
-[Megan] I'm not mad at him.

I just think she's gross.

-I just don't understand it.
-[Nehemiah] Wes is not attractive.

[all laugh]

-[Lacey] What?
-You're mean.

Come on.
That girl was cute for Wes.

Wes got play.

That's what it's all about.

[whimsical music playing]

-[toilet flushing]
-[both gasp, giggle]

[Johanna]

[coughing]

Go, Wes! I mean,
he's been wanting to get laid.

He got laid. [chuckles]
At least someone did.

-Yeah. Hey, wait.
-[crowd laughs]

[Megan] Where's my shirt?

-I lost my shirt.
-We will find your shirt.

-[Megan] This is so embarrassing.
-I'm gonna give you a shirt then.

-[Megan] All right.
-Until we find your shirt.

-If we don't, then you can have it, okay?
-[Megan] Okay.

She can't find her shirt.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, if you guys were a black shirt,
where would you be?

[Lacey chuckles] It would be on me.

[Melinda] I think it's really funny

knowing that it's taken so long
for Wes to get some booty

because he's constantly talking
about all these groupies,

all these hot girls.

-It will?
-So this is our good-bye hug.

[Megan] Bye.

-[Megan] Okay.
-Okay, we now have a problem.

-[chuckles]
-'Cause I'm in here with my underwear

-and... [laughs]
-[laughs]

[knocking on door]

-[laughs]
-[Rachel] I'm ready.

[Wes] Open up this door.

-[camera shutter clicking]
-[crowd laugh]

[Rachel] Yeah!

-Good job, buddy.
-[crowd laughs]

[Lacey] Did you wear a condom?

I do worry about
the different consequences

of bringing random girls back,

but I'm always very, very careful

as to use any sort
of protection necessary.

[Johanna] Why did she get up
right away and leave?

[Lacey] 'Cause you got up right away.

'Cause I said,
"Do you want me to call you a taxi?"

-[Lacey] Shut up.
-[crowd gasp]

-Shut up.
-Oh!

-Wes.
-[indistinct chatter]

-Actually, I saw you get laid.
-[Rachel] Aw!

[Lacey] He was doing the rabbit.
He was definitely doing the rabbit.

That's what you were doing
when I looked. [laughs]

[camera shutter clicks]

[Rachel] We're documenting you
for historic...

-[Lacey] Yes. Pose. Okay. Ready?
-[Johanna] First in-house orgasm.

In-house orgasm.

-[camera shutter clicks]
-[whimsical music concluding]

-[hip-hop music playing]
-[Wes] Now listen to this.

So the hottest girl
in the bar came and hit on me.

I was making out with her
ten minutes later.

Twenty minutes after that,
we were back at my house,

and 30 minutes after that,
she was naked and screaming.

[Jeff laughing] That is awesome.

But I am still hoping
that me and Johanna's relationship

can go to the next level.

I'm gonna give the...
Um, give it a chance with Johanna.

As small as it may be,
I think there's a chance.

There's a lot of time left,
and I'm really smooth.

Like, she's trying to play games.
Like, this is a sport for her.

And honestly, it could work in the past,
but it's not gonna work with me anymore

because there's an entire city of girls
that don't want to play games with me.

[Jeff] You should go talk to her, Wes.

[hip-hop music concluding]

-[Wes] I got a question for you.
-[Johanna] Mm-hmm.

Do you think
what I did tonight was wrong?

No. You had sex.

People do it all the time. [yawns]

I just want to know whether or not
you disrespect me now because of it.

No. You had sex.
Why would I disrespect you?

'Cause you weren't having sex with Leo,
and you've known him for a long time.

-But...
-I met this girl two hours ago.

But it's different.

I think that if I fall for someone
that I really like, I will give it 100%,

but I don't easily find that person.

So you're saving yourself for me?

[chuckles] Yeah...

[sighs]

-I am.
-At least I can sleep happy now.

-[laughs] You're stupid. Go to bed.
-[shushes]

[laughs] Ew! Don't put your finger...
God knows where it's been tonight.

[laughs]

-Know what? She's very, very right.
-[both laugh]

[soft music playing]

[Rachel] I'm so excited
to go out tonight, though,

and not have one boy
that I care about seeing.

But I'm so excited just to go out.

[Johanna] Yeah, I have to go
to Busy Rooster and somehow face Leo,

-and me not calling him back.
-What is going on?

[Johanna] Nothing. [chuckles]

[Rachel] Well, are you just still, like,
turned off by the idea

-'cause he came on too strong?
-Yeah.

I know that eventually,
I will meet the right guy

who I'm gonna be willing to commit to.

And I know it's not him
because I'm not willing to do it.

-That simple.
-[soft music concluding]

[instrumental music playing]

[Johanna] Stop looking at me like that.

I'm really confused on
exactly what Jo feels about Leo.

At the bar, she's constantly doing things
to make Leo look at her

or Leo talk to her.

I wish that Johanna would feel
the same way about me

like she feels about Leo.
But I would never

in a million years wish
that she would treat me

like she's treating Leo.

We're gonna go.

-Where?
-Home.

[Wes] Technically, the relationship
between Johanna and Leo

is none of my business.

But Leo pulls me aside,
he expresses to me the frustrations

that he's having about the way
that Johanna is treating him.

And the entire time that he's talking,

I'm thinking,
"That's exactly how I feel about her."

-Leo hates me.
-No, he doesn't.

-Yes, he does.
-No. Leo does not hate you. Who cares?

If you don't care about him,
who cares if he hates you or not?

[instrumental music concluding]

[Melinda] She doesn't want to be with Leo.

She said that she just does not feel
a connection with him,

that she just doesn't get that

feeling that you feel
when you really like somebody, you know?

And, like, tonight, I did see

that she was kinda going back
and forth on it.

She plays games with the guy.

And it bothers me
because she plays games with me.

-[tense music playing]
-[indistinct chatter]

-We're not...
-What, am I playing games?

-Come on, Wes. Say it out loud.
-You don't think you were leading him on?

-Hey.
-The kid is torn up about the fact

that you play games like it's your job.

[Johanna] Really?
How did I play games with him?

[Wes] He told me tonight
that you were leading him on.

He told you that I was leading him on?

-[Wes] Yeah.
-So, if I was to call him right now,

he will say that I was leading him on?

-[Wes] Ye... yeah. Call him.
-I'll call him right now. I will.

[Wes] I talked to him tonight.

-And you didn't.
-Okay. I'll go call him right now.

-[Wes] I talked to him off-camera.
-[Johanna] Okay, I'll call him right now.

-I will call him right now.
-[Wes] Quit being a b*tch.

Quit being a b*tch!

Not only will he say
that you were leading him on,

he will also say
that you were playing games.

[Johanna] So, Wes... Wes, all I'm saying is,
let's get him on the phone.

[Wes] Go ahead.

-He will say everything I just said.
-Then come on. Then come on.

I don't think it's any of Wes'
business to pull Leo aside

and tell him that I'm playing games
with him when I'm not.

-What do you want, Wes?
-I said I want to talk to you.

-No. You don't want to talk to me.
-I do. I want to...

You have been
extremely disrespectful tonight.

What do you want me to say to you?

[Wes] I want to lower my voice
and talk to you like a person.

[Johanna] I just don't even know
why you're so pissed off at me

because of Leo.
I'm not in love with Leo. I am sorry.

Yet you still find a way
to act like an a*s [bleep] to me.

Yelling at me, screaming at me,
and accusing me of being a b*tch!

[Wes] I understand that this argument
is not gonna go anywhere

but I've never swallowed anything
in my life.

-I'm not about to swallow this argument.
-[tense music concluding]

["Then There's None"
by David Hopkins playing]

♪ First there is much next there is some ♪

♪ Then there's none ♪

Hey, Jo.

Can we please talk
like civilized human beings right now?

[Johanna] No, see, Wes,
I don't want to talk to you.

I don't think Wes really knows

how much emotional damage
he could be doing to anybody.

I do not plan on talking to you
for the next couple weeks.

So, you might as well just go.

The fact that you specified a time limit
for when you would talk to me is a game,

which is exactly
what I was talking about earlier.

[Johanna] Stop talking to me.

I hope you graduate
from elementary school

sometime pretty soon.

Congratulations, Jo.
You're really, really mature.

♪ Isn't it sad when what you want ♪

♪ You can't have
This film is ending ♪

♪ And our hero sleeps alone ♪

["Then There's None" fades out]

Johanna.

I don't think you quite comprehend.

I didn't have sex with her.

-[Rachel laughing] What?
-[Johanna] What did you do to her then?

We made sweet groupiness.

-[Rachel laughing]
-[Johanna] Oh, my gosh.

I can't believe you just said that.

She's, by far, the best groupie
we've had here so far.

[Johanna] That's because
she gave it to you.

[chuckles] Which is what a groupie
is supposed to do.

-Is this her shirt?
-[Johanna] Where? No, that's mine.