05x02 - Trash Cat

[bunniefuu]

Could I borrow a dollar?

[ Cow moos ]

[ Splat! ]

[ Pop! ]

[ Coughs ]

Man: I've had it with you,
Milton!

If you refuse to take a bath

and constantly eat
all my moussaka,

then you can't live
in my condo!

But, Jim, I can change!
I can be a good cat!

You can be a filthy moo cow
that lives on the streets!

What? Jim, I ‐‐

[ Door slams ]

[ Sighs ] Oy.
I can't get no respect.

Guess I'll go drink
from puddles.

Not bad.

[ Hacking cough ]

[ Farts ]

[ Coughing ]

[ Tires screech ]

Ooh. Oh!

Oh! My goodness!

I'm sorry,
poor little moo cow.

[ Strained voice ]
I'm a cat.

Oh, I think you need a bath,
little friend.

Whoa, hey ‐‐ ha ha.
No, hey, that's all right.

I mean, that's the reason
I'm out here on the streets.

I can't take a bath
because...

because...

I'm afwaid.

Afwaid of what?

Water.

[ Scoffs, laughs ]

A cat that's afraid
of water?

Now I've seen everything!

But I can relate.

I used to be terribly afraid
to breathe air.

What did you do?

I left Earth.

[ Eerie space music ]

You think
I should leave Earth?

Of course not!

I think you should always
confront your fears.

[ Groans nervously ]

But...

if you'd rather run
from your problems,

may I suggest a change
of scenery!

Take this charming waste
receptacle, for example.

No square is gonna make you
bathe in there!

And, boy, is it roomy!

Think about what
you'll save on rent!

[ Cawing ]

[ Barking and growling ]

[ Pop! ]

And there are probably
no vultures.

[ Cawing and barking ]

Sounds nice.

[ Groaning ]

Here you go, little buddy.

[ Grunting ]

I'm looking forward to never
confronting my fears.

[ Echoing ] Wow!
It is very roomy in here.

Thanks, Uncle G.
You da man.

What?!

I said you da man!

Oh! No, thanks.
I've got to change costu‐‐

Uh, I mean, uh...

I have to go help
a ‐‐ a ‐‐ uh, a moo cow!

Okay, see ya!
[ Streak! ]

Heh, what a strange man.

[ Smacking lips ]

[ Sighs ]

Do I look like a mouse?

You look terrific.

You're on in two seconds.

Remember, be friendly,
but with an undercut of menace.

Go get 'em, tiger.

Welcome to
the neighborhood!

[ Plink! ]

Uh, line?

"I'm Mr. Mouse."

I'm Mr. Mouse!

Well, uh, pleased
to meet you, Mister ‐‐

[ Panting ]

No need to get up
and look around.

You'll find everything around
here is very much real.

Just sit back, relax,
and let me

and Mr. Worm
look after you.

And fatten you up.

I'm Mr. Worm.

And I'm Mr. Fly!

Pleased to meet ya.

[ Plink! ]

Say, you guys look
a little familiar.

[ All gulp ]

You look like...

my new best friends!

Ha ha. Yay!

Phew!

Mm‐hmm.
Now eat yo cake!

Hup! Hup! Hup!

[ Moaning ]

Mmm!

I must've croaked and gone
to the great beyond.

Mmm, yes.

Or did you descend
into the great beneath?

‐Pardon me?
‐I said...

"Oh, yes,
did I got a friend...

who...smell?"

[ Sniffs ]

Oh, yes,
I got a friend who smell.

Oh, ha ha, yeah.
I guess I am pretty stinky.

Sorry about that.
I just don't really like baths.

No, no, no, no!
No need for baths down here.

We need ya just
the way you are.

We eat trash!

And moo cows!

[ Chuckles ]

Man, that line is a little bit
on the nose.

Who wrote this trash?

Oh.

[ Clapping ]

[ Coughs ]

Shh!

I'm sorry!

Huh?
What was that?

Did someone just say "I'm sorry"
over there?

Oh, curse
my shortsightedness.

Hey!
Eat this pizza!

[ Splat! ]

[ Munching ]

Thank you, Mr. Fly.

Why you so good to me?

Fattenin' you up.

What did you just say?

Hush!

[ Grunts ] Mmm!

I forget what I think.

You guys are
the best roommates ever!

You can say that again.

Just you wait till dinner.

It's going to be big and fat
and full of gravy.

[ Gargling ]

You know, I just can't imagine
myself actually eating him.

If you can't imagine it, how
is an audience supposed to?!

Yeah, it's called being
method, Mr. Worm.

Maybe if you ate some cats
in your spare time,

we wouldn't get
such bad reviews.

Okay, break's over, guys.

Go get in your places.

Okay, cue lights!

[ Light creaks ]

Agh! Too bright.

What gives?!

[ Singsong voice ]
Hey, Milton!

‐Get...
‐Ready...

Because...

‐It's...
‐Dinner time!

[ Pop! ]

Oh! Oh, no.
That's okay, guys.

You've been feeding me all day,
and I am stuffed!

You don't understand,
friend.

You are the one who will be
stuffing us.

The dinner that will
be served is you!

You are the dinner!

Oh! Ah, I get it.

[ Screams ]

We done been fattening
you up, boy!

[ Laughs stupidly ]

Although you were really fat
enough to begin with.

Hey!
He's getting away!

[ Panting ]

[ Plink! ]

Hey, come back,
you stinky oaf!

We want to eat you
because you smell!

You get back here and get
in the cow pot, young man!

[ Grunts ]

Oh, so they want to eat me
because I'm stinky.

I need to unstink!

[ Grunting, panting ]

For a big guy,
he really can climb.

Yeah! Yeah!

[ Panting ]

[ Panting ]

Milton?!

Milton,
what are you doing?!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

I'm yelling at you here!

I love you, Jim.

Milton!
Let us eat you!

Cook you and eat you!

Yeah!
[ Crash! ]

We're going to eat
your smelly pet!

Milton!

I'm a wormy worm.
[ Plink! ]

[ Plink! ]

[ Panting ]

[ Banging on door ]

Milton?

Your terror is only increasing
our appetite.

[ Singsong voice ]
Milton?

M‐Mr. Bathtub?

Yes, it's me,
Mr. Bathtub.

Nice to meet you.

C‐c‐can you help me?

Yes! But first,
you've got to decide,

who are you more afraid of,
me or...

Us?!

Terrific, guys.

Really nailed the timing
on that.

You guys really just want
to eat me

l?

Yes!
You guys really just want
Yes! Yes! e

Well, then you leave me
no choice.

I guess it's bath time.

[ Smacks lips ]

[ Tires squeal ]

Oh, no! What happened to you,
little friend?

I had the most
horrible dream.

It had terrible
production value.

And you were there...

A‐And you were there ‐‐

and you were there.

Weird!

So...

do you reckon you've learnt
any important life lessons,

perhaps changed your views
on baths,

because of this low‐budget,

but admirably ambitious dream
you had?

Yes.

Cats don't take baths.

We clean ourselves.

[ Slurping ]

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

I'm art!

Is this funny?

No, this is not funny.

Is this funny?

Tastes like chicken!

No, this is definitely
not funny.

Is this funny?

[ Fly buzzing ]

I'm a little bumble bee!

[ Screaming ]

No, this is not funny.

Is this funny?

No. The color orange
is not funny.

No!

What is this?

This isn't anything.

Is this funny?

No!
This is not funny.

Is this funny?

[ Crowd booing ]

[ Honk honk! ]

‐[ Screams ]
‐No, this is not funny.

Is this funny?

Oh, yes!
Now, that is very funny.

Why aren't you laughing?

[ Theme music ]

That was quite delicious.