05x05 - Late Night Good Morning with Uncle Grandpa

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

My nose is made out of soap.

♪♪

[ Goat bleats ]

♪♪

Frommmmm the Big Apple,

it's "Late Night Good Morning
with Uncle Grandpa"!

Huh ah!

Tonight...!

And a performance by...

Plus...

And me!
I'm Belly Bag!

And, now, here's a guy
who still hasn't figured out

how to put on a pair of pants...

Unnnnncle

Grandpaaaaaaa!

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Hiya, folks.
Welcome to the show.

So, this is an exciting week.

The circus is in town.

Everybody's excited
about the circus.

Yeah, even the elephants.

So, uh, how do you stop a circus
elephant from charging?

You take away her credit card.

[ Laughter and applause ]

Gotta love the circus.
Gotta love it.

My favorite thing about the
circus is the human cannonball.

You folks familiar
with the human cannonball?

Yeah. [applauding]
Yeah.

Well, unfortunately,
you won't see him

at the circus this year.

Yeah. Sad story.

He got fired.

[Laughter]

Boom!

And, hey, how about
those circus clowns?

You folks like circus clowns?
[Applause]

[ Cheering ]

Yeah, well, this is kind of
a sad story.

The other day, a circus lion
ate a bunch of circus clowns.

[ Grumbling ]

Yeah, this is true.

The worst part was the lion

didn't even finish eating 'em.

Yeah, when asked why not,
the lion said

they tasted funny.

[Laughter]
[Growling]

Folks, it's time to say hello
to Mr. Gus & the Jurassic Jam!

[Cheers and applause]
♪♪

[ Playing soft jazz ]

[Slurps]
[Outro plays]

I've said it a million times:

we've got the best all dinosaur
band in late night.

[Applause]
Ahhhhhhh!

Mr. Gus, go ahead and tell us

about your special
guest tonight.

Well, you know him from the
legendary punk rock band

the Ramones!

Ladies and gentleman,
we're super lucky to have

Marky Ramone sitting in
on drums all night!

[ Cheers and applause ]

It's great to be here

on the "Uncle Grandpa"
program.

Great to have ya, Marky,
but there's only one problem

with you sittin' in
with an all dinosaur band.

You're not exactly a dinosaur.

That's what you think.

[ Chuckling ]

Aah!!

'Kay, fair enough.

Hey, do you folks enjoy
delicious tacos?

All: Whoo!

'Cause it's taco machine time!

[ Cheering and shouting ]

My friends in the space program

went all out
when they built this thing.

It's taco riffic!

[ Laughter ]

[ Alarm blares ]

Time to make the tacos!

[ Panting ]

[ Ding! ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

Here's your taco.

Thanks!

[ Panting ]

Mum mum mum. [ Gulps ]

[ Ding! ]
Mucho bueno!

[ Laughter ]

By the way, you folks
in the audience are in luck,

'cause we've got tacos
for everybody!

[Horn blares]
Ohh!

[Bell dings]
[ Muffled cheering ]

Hope you folks enjoy those.

My first guest tonight
is the same first guest

we have on every night.

Ladies and gentlemen,
how about a nice, warm welcome

for my greasy best friend
and hero,

Pizza Steve!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Welcome back, Pizza Steve.

Thanks Uncle, G.

It's good to be here.

So, what's new, little buddy?

Oh, you know, the uzh:
hangin' with the president,

dating America's
top supermodels,

interstellar space travel.

[Laughter]
Oh, that's cute.

Oh, man! Awesome!

[ Slurps ]

Hey, speaking of awesome,

remember that awesome
video segment we made?

Yeah. That was
pretty awesome.

So, uh, over the weekend,
me and Pizza Steve here

made an awesome video together.

[Laughter, oohs]
Yeah.

We had a really awesome idea,

so we got a camera crew
and we filmed it.

You guys want to watch it?

Audience: Yeah!

R R R Roll it, Frankenstein!

Rawr!

[ Whoosh ]

[ Pitter! ]

Mmm!

[Air horn blares]
Aaaaah!

[ Laughter ]

Oh, classic.
[Laughter]

Comedy gold.

[ Growls ]

Hey, by the way,
the studio audience is in luck,

'cause we've got banana
cream pies for everybody!

[Ding!]
Audience: Ooh!

Hey, I think we should watch
the air horn video again.

What do you think, Pizza Steve?

[Squawking]
Huh?

[ Squawking ]

Commercial break?

[ Squawking ]

Uggghhh! Do we have to?

[ Squawking ]

All right.

[dully] We'll be back
after this brief message

from our sponsor.
[Cheers and applause]

[ Band plays soft jazz ]

[ Indistinct chatter ]

[Valley accent] Stacey,
can this party be

any lamer?
I know, right?

Bananas are like
so five minutes ago.

[ Rumbling ]

Boo, yeah! It's time...!

Huh?
What?

[dramatically]
...to taste the tange.

[Squish]
[Rock music plays]

[ Shimmer! ]
♪ T T T T Tangerines ♪

♪ Do you know what I mean? ♪

Tangerines?

♪ T T Tangerines ♪

They look like
tiny oranges.

♪ But they're tangerines ♪

When you're lookin' for a tangy,
orange citrus fruit

that isn't an orange,
reach for tangerines!

[ Shimmer! ]

♪ Tan ge rines! ♪

Taste the Tange!

[ Announcer speaking rapidly ]

[ Band plays soft jazz ]

[Cheers and applause]
Welcome back, folks.

It's time now for a little
segment we like to call

Will it Break?

Take it away, Mr. Gus.

♪ Will it break? ♪

♪ Will it break? ♪

♪ Will it break? ♪

♪ Will it bre e ak? ♪

[laughs] Yeah!

Okay, here's how this works:
We put a special item onstage

then we drop a giant anvil on
it, and see if it breaks.

[Cheers and applause]
Oh, wow, yeah!

[Laughter]
Okay, Belly Bag, tell us

what tonight's special item is.

Tonight's
special item is...

Mr. Gus's antique
china collection!

Say what?

Okay, what do you think,
Pizza Steve, will it break?

I'm gonna go with...

sh yeah!

Just a second now

Okay, Pizza Steve
says it'll break.

Marky Ramone,
what do you think?

Oh, yeah.
That'll definitely break.

Okay, I'm with you fellas.

I say it breaks, too.

Uncle Grandpa!

Okay, let's go ahead
and drop the anvil.

Are you for real?!

[ Smash! ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

Wel...p, it broke!

Of course it broke!
It's delicate china!

Yeah, hey, we gotta
move on now, Mr. Gus.

[crying] These
Gus Family heirlooms

are irreplaceable, man!

Oh. Well, if it'll make you
feel any better,

we'll just edit
that segment out.

Frankenstein?

Rawr! Rrr!

Problem solved.

[ Slurps ]

So, Pizza Steve, did you catch

the sports game last night?

[ Squawking ]

[sighs]
Flippin' frog legs.

[ Squawking ]

Another commercial?!

[Squawks]
Okay, fine.

We'll be right back.

[Band plays soft jazz]
[Cheers and applause]

[Piano plays romantic tune]
Woman: After all those years,

you've finally found the one,

the love of your life,

your soulmate.

Show her how much you love her
with the gift of...

tangerines.

[ Laughs ]

[whispering]
Tangerines.

[ Announcer speaking rapidly ]

[Band plays soft jazz]
[Whistling and applause]

[laughs]
Hurry up, Pizza Steve.

We're back.
Um... my next guest

is a popular staple in
delicatessens around the world.

And also my favorite kind
of sandwich.

Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome

Baloney Sandwich.

[ Cheers, laughter,
and applause ]

Hey, have a seat.

[ Fart ]

[Laughter]
Ohh, you guys!

Ah, yeah!

Anyways, thanks
for coming on the show.

Thanks for having me.

Oh, hey, by the way,

there's complimentary
whoopee cushions

under every seat
in the audience tonight.

[Muffled cheering]
[ Farting ]

So, what kind of mustard
are you into?

Well, let's just say
I'm a

a honey Dijon
kind of guy.

Honey Dijon?!
Oh man! Me, too!

Now, uh, is that
sourdough bread?

Heck, yeah it is,

fresh from San Francisco!

Geez Louise!

That's the best kind!

What else you got
on ya?

Any pickle slices
under your baloney?

Yep Don't leave home
without 'em!

Mm. Okay, this card says
you're here

to promote
your new TV show.

Yeah. I'm doing
a new family sitcom

called "The Baloneys."

I play a single dad,
trying to raise

six out of control kids

who are also
baloney sandwiches.

Mmm. [smacks lips]

Okay, let's show a clip.

[Canned laughter]
No daughter of mine

is leaving the house
dressed like that!

What?! But, Daddy!

No buts!

Your whole lettuce
is hanging out!

Daaad!
Lawrence bit me!

[ Groans ]

Why can't you kids be
more like

the Salamis next door?

[ Laughter ]

[Cheers and applause]
Mmm, mmm!

[ Gulps ]

"The Baloneys" premieres

Wednesday night at 8:00

on another network.

All right,
let's bring out the band!

Marky Ramone, you're gonna
love these guys.

I'm very excited.

Our next guest is a popular
rock 'n' roll band.

They're here to perform a song

from their brand new album,
"RAWR."

Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome

Giant Realistic
Flying Rock Band!

[Cheers and applause]
Yeah!

[ Rock music plays ]

[ Roars ]

♪♪

[ Cracking ]

[ Roars ]

[ Rumble, roars ]

[ Rumbling ]

Uh oh!
[Roaring]

[ Clatter ]

Talk about bringing down
the house.

Good night, everybody!

♪♪

♪♪

That was quite delicious.

♪♪