07x18 - Diamonds Under Pressure

[bunniefuu]

- This season on "The Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- We're so rich,
we just can't take it!

- Oh, my god!

- Oh, I love it.

It's so rough
and wild and gorgeous.

[cheers and applause]
- Hi, beautiful people.

- Kyle needs some underwear.

- I don't have any.

- Oh.
Oh!

- Isn't it kind of like,
Lady 101?

Cross your legs.

- The more you talk about sh...,
the worse it gets.

- You're cold as
f...-in' ice and stoic.

- I don't like bullsh..., Dorit,

and that's what I think you are.

- Then why don't you just
f...-ing say it?

- I just did.

It's a bunch of bullsh...

[sobs]
- Take a deep breath.

- The ice queen
is kind of melting.

- You lie,
because you are a faker.

- We as sober women, you know,
come from a place

of love and honor and respect
and dignity.

- I would say she's probably
mostly sober right now.

They're this close to Kim dying.

- Rinna said to me,
"I don't think she's sober."

That Kim is on
the path to destruction.

- Did you or did you not say

that my sister
is close to death?

- This is Eden.

I'm sorry,
I'm not gonna take this.

- I have not put alcohol
in a smoothie,

but I have thrown a Xanax in.

- Do you think that
her personality...

that it's induced?

So then Rinna says,

"I like to pop a Xanax
in my smoothie."

- You made it very big,
my friend.

- Don't you ever get in my face,
Lisa.

- Do you trust your husband?

- Come on!

- Were people doing coke
in your bathroom?

- I certainly wasn't.

- Always so gorgeous.

- Hi, Hanky and Panky.

- Hi, you guys.

- I find Lisa Rinna
very unpredictable.

I don't know
what she's capable of.

[upbeat music]

- The crown is heavy,
darlings,

so just leave it
where it belongs.

♪ ♪

- I may be two people,
but I'm not two-faced.

♪ ♪

- My advice to you:
don't hustle the hustler.

♪ ♪

- I speak no evil,
but I see and hear everything.

♪ ♪

- When you've
traveled the world,

you can speak
in any accent you want.

♪ ♪

- I'm an expert on luxury,
and I can always spot a fake.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, you guys
know each other.

That's good.

Schnooky.

- Pretty.

- Wow.
- Always.

- Always so gorgeous.

- I've missed the disco.

- Oh, you're such a b*tch.

- The conversation that
supposedly happened in Mexico,

was at a dinner
that both of you were at.

Did I, at any point,
sit at that dinner and say,

"Lisa Rinna
has a drug problem"?

- You've never relayed
that sentiment to me.

- You know, it's just nonsense.

Of course you didn't say that

and of course
you wouldn't say that.

- No, but I...

- She's just a bit paranoid.
I don't know.

- Maybe she
did something and then just...

- Maybe it's because
she's on drugs.

[laughter]

- Absolutely gorgeous.
- Hello.

- Yeah, be the hostess.

- Yeah, do your thing.

- Hello!
- Hello.

This is beautiful as ever.
- Gorgeous!

- There's something about
Rinner I like so much.

I really do.
But on the other hand,

there's something about her
that I don't like at all.

So which one
are we gonna get tonight?

- This is my niece, Devon.

- Hi.
How are you?

- Pleasure to meet you.
- You look gorgeous.

- Thank you.
So do you.

- I tried to adopt that dog,
you know.

- I know.

- He needs training.

- You're so cute.

Look how cute he is.

- Look at him.

- I think it got very
complicated, didn't it?

- Well, the problem is,
it has a short snout.

And they can't fly.

They might die.

- I have a short snout
but I can fly.

- This is slightly different.
- Oh, it is?

Yeah, I do have trouble
on the planes.

- That's funny, actually.

- Anyway, I didn't want to
save a dog and k*ll it.

- Sometimes you are funny.
You are funny!

- Oh, shut up, Rinna.

I was funny until,
you know.

You turned it around.

- You have to be nice to me
because I gave...

- I don't have to do anything.

- Because I gave you
my feathers,

and you said you would be.

- If you give me
your feathers now,

I know that you're coming
to Hong Kong

and we're going to get back
to where we were.

Yes.

Yeah, but then

you've misbehaved since then.

- I will always misbehave
a little bit.

- Okay, then I'll always
chastise you.

- I love that Vanderpump
thinks she has the power.

I like to let her
think that.

For some reason
it gives her joy.

Like, let's give that to her.

She doesn't have a whole lot.

- Let me say hello to Ken.

- I know, he's great.

- Hi.
- Hello, Ken.

How are you?

- I'm good.

- Nice to see you.

- It's good to see you.

- It's nice to be here.

- No, it doesn't feel weird.

It's okay.

[laughs]
- It's okay.

- Okay, good.

- I actually feel like
my feelings are softening

towards Lisa Vanderpump.

I have a lot of respect
for her.

She and I had our issues
but it doesn't mean

she doesn't have feelings
and beliefs and a heart.

- May I crown you?

- [gasps]
Oh, my goodness, you may!

- Beautiful.

- Oh, that's gorgeous.

I'm almost jealous.
- It's just for you.

- Are you getting crowned?
Okay.

- Crowned and a glass of rosé.

- Pandora.

- Hi.
- You look beautiful.

- Gorgeous.
- Thank you.

- Absolutely gorgeous.
- Congratulations.

- Thanks for coming.
- Congrats.

- Did you get some rosé?

- Yes.
- We did. It's quite good.

- I love it.
- Delish.

- Oh, thanks.
- Delish. Good for you.

Congratulations.
- Thank you.

- Honey,
look how lucky you are.

- So lucky.
- [laughs]

- I am.

- Hi, girls.

- Hello, Dorit.

- Hi, Lisa.
- How are you?

- Hi, Camille.
- Hello.

- Wow, look at your hair.
How cool.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Oh, wow, that is cool.

- I haven't been to see you.

- You're like
a Grecian goddess.

- Wow!
It's gold!

- It is.

- It looks like
a big gold goose

took a big gold sh...

all over Dorit's head.

- Look at this.

This is next level.

Like, I don't even know.

- Although,
it's going to go hard.

- Is it real gold leaf?

[both squealing]
Oh, gold leaves in my hair!

[mimicking Dorit]
It's very runway.

PK, do you like it?

Very runway.

- Erica Girardi!

Oh, my Lord!

- Love the pink hair.

- This is beautiful.
- Oh, thank you.

- This is really gorgeous.

- You fit in perfectly.

- I know.
That's why I did it.

- I love that.

I think everybody would look
better with pink hair.

- Well, you should do it
sometime.

- Where's your husband?

- He's in D.C.

- So what about down there?

Is that pink as well, or no?

- It's just hairless cat.

Don't you know?
Everybody knows.

- Oh, I forgot about that.

I'm the only one
who hasn't seen it.

- Yeah, everyone knows.

Lisa Vanderpump is obsessed
with my p*ssy.

Everyone knows it.

Let me just circulate.

- Absolutely.
- Hey!

- Hi.
- Look at you.

- How are you?
- You're stunning.

- Nice to see you.
How's it going?

- I love the look.
- Thank you.

- Only you can pull
this off.

- Well, thanks.
- Love it.

- It's a good time.
- So much.

- Hey, Dorit.
How was your...oh, that's pretty.

- Wow.
Erika's hair.

You ain't gonna miss it.

- Duh.

You feeling good
after Hong Kong?

- No.

The jet lag was tremendous.

- Really hard.

- Did you get to see
a lot of things?

- We did.
We were busy.

We saw a lot of stuff.

We went to the Big Buddha
in the rain.

- Hello.
- Oh, my god, hey.

- Hey.
- Look at you, Miss Pink.

- Hello.
- You look great.

- How are you?

- Hello.

- Hi.

- [inaudible].

- She's wearing your color.

Is that allowed?
- How are you?

I love you and I love
what you're wearing.

[laughter]
How are you?

So you're a grandma.

Let me see you.
Do you look any different?

- You tell me.

- You look really happy.

- I...I got to tell you
something.

He rolled over yesterday.

- Oh, god.
- Already?

- He rolled over yesterday.

- Isn't that young... he's too
young; he's three weeks old.

- He's so advanced.

- No, how often do
you see him?

- Three, four days a week.

[laughter]

- This is exactly how

I pictured
Kim being a grandmother:

joking, teasing, laughing.

My mom was like that.

My mom was, like, 40
when Paris was born,

so she was a young,
fun grandmother.

- Who do you think
he looks like?

- Me.

- Of course.

I think he looks like me.

- May I come join you?

Come sit and talk to us.

- Are my roses...
are they crooked?

- Hey, by the way...
- Yes, they are.

- Yeah, here.

- Put them on straight.

- They might not...yeah?
- There you go.

- Since the Hong Kong trip,

I've realized
Eden didn't back me up.

So I mean, it's fine.

She's nice enough,
but I don't trust her.

- Eden says to me,
"Dorit came to me

and asked me if you were...
if you had a Xanax problem."

And I went,
"You're f...-ing kidding me."

But she wouldn't stand up for me
and wouldn't do it that night.

It's all bullsh...

- Well, of course
it's bullsh...

- It's so silly.

I'm confused.

When she came to you and said,

"Does Lisa have a problem
with Xanax?"

you could have easily said,
"no."

- I did say, "no."

- Very quietly.

- You asked me if I thought
that Rinna

had a problem with pills.

- I asked you...I said,

"Do you think Rinna
has a problem with pills?"

I don't remember that.

- You're right.
I did.

I just sort of like let you say
what you had to say

and let Erika say...
and then just...I couldn't.

Is that something from your
history, in your family?

- Shut down?
Yeah.

- That, that it...

- When you're in this kind of
a large group of people...

I'm trying to stay clear.
- Women.

- This is...it's
very complicated,

and you're feeling that
and you don't step in and say,

"No, I saw this."

Then everything gets worse.

- But I want to be believed

as if like
I'm not a troublemaker.

Here I am...
- Who gives a sh...?

Who gives a sh...?

- Yeah, you can't really control
anybody's perception.

- What other people think of you
is none of your business.

You don't have to hurt anybody,
just tell your truth.

- Right.

- Rinna has this really awkward
sort of evil energy.

It's like,
"Ooh, something's off,"

and I am not liking...
I'm not happy.

I'm not comfortable.

- Coming up...

- Darling, have you got

your drawers on at the party?

- Of course I have drawers on,
you b*tch.

[upbeat music]

- Smile, Tiff.

[indistinct chatter]

- Erika!
Bravo.

Brava.

Baby.

- Ladies.
- Uh-oh.

- Sit your a*s down.
- She...b*tch.

- All right.

- High-five, gorge.

- Thank you.
- You did it.

- It's fun.
- Hi, beautiful.

- I love Erika's pink hair.

Cotton candy, to me,

is a little more appetizing
than bird sh...

[applause]

[wine glass clinking]

- Listen, I just want to say,

thank you to all of you,
for being here.

Tonight is about celebration

of my daughter and her husband,
Jason.

Their hard work
and their tenacity

and their passion

to bring this rosé to fruition.

Anyway, I love you all,

and thank you for
making such an effort

and thank you for coming
tonight, really.

And, Keith, where are you?

You were going to play
something.

- I'm right here, darling.
- So what is it?

"Diamonds and"...

- I've got a song
that we wrote for you.

- Oh, okay.

- It's called
"Diamonds of Hope,"

for your beautiful line,
which is amazing.

[lilting guitar music]

- Well, anyway, cheers.

Original music.

He wrote a song,
"Diamonds and Hope."

I mean, well, he probably
says that to everybody

and just changes the words.
Let's be honest.

- You got to dance, girl.
- No, you don't.

- Dance for your song.

- It's cute.

I didn't ask for it,
but I'll take it.

- One, two, three, four.

Oh, Lisa, let me help you.

[grunts]

You see where
our future's headed?

I'm gonna be picking
Lisa Vanderpump

off the dance floor
for the rest of my life.

[guitar chord strums]

- Yay!
- All right, yes.

[cheers and applause]
I'm Keith.

For you, my love, a kiss.

- Aww.

[smooching]

[upbeat electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Well, you look beautiful.

- Thanks, honey.

Thanks.
- Good?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm okay.

I've experienced the wrath
of a couple of women.

Particularly when I was
far away from my family,

and it's no fun,
but I'm a big girl.

- Who's...who's
being mean to you?

- Who else?

- Who?
- Rinna.

Like you've never, ever...
well, actually,

like you have experienced.

- Uh, yeah.

Never said
a word about it.

- Kim, you know what?
You played dirty.

- I never said a word
about it.

- Well, let's
talk about your arrest.

Why don't we do that?

- Full-on attack out of nowhere.

Amongst the many accusations
that she...

she did, she asks,
"Do you trust your husband?

Do you trust your husband?"
- So mean.

- "Maybe you should
think about it."

And I said, "Listen"...

- Where did that come from?
- You can't go there.

- Where did that come from?

- I don't know.

I can't help but question

if she's projecting
whatever issue she has

onto other people.

I don't know, Kim.

But it's so weird.

- It's what she does.

It's erratic.

It's like this...
it's this vicious,

mean behavior and then,
"I'm so sorry."

Like,
"Let's put this behind us."

- It's so imbalanced.

- Yeah.

- It's so imbalanced.
- Mm-hmm.

- It's rage and then regret.

- Lisa can't have any focus
on Lisa's life.

She never takes accountability.

She spins it, turns it around,

it always has to be
someone else.

I'm really sorry that
you had to go through that.

- Kim's here.

- That baby.

- Hey, that baby's really cute

and they can come out
looking rough.

- Uh, yeah!

- It's so true.
They can come out looking rough.

- I'll never forget,
when my son was born.

In the nursery at the
hospital, next to him

was a little baby
with a cone head.

- That's what Delilah had.

And it was just because
my birth canal is so small.

- Well...

- I'm so glad I know
about your birth canal.

- Maybe that's why I'm thinking,
she just...

- Too much information?

I mean,
everybody's seen my vag*na

this year, so hey.

- Oh, my god.

- Has everybody had food?

- No.

- Oh, I'm...we're passing things.

I feel like
we're skipping you by.

Blinis and caviar and um...

- Oh, wow.
Guys, there's food.

- Oh, my god.
How great is this?

It's like a caviar buffet.

- Wow!

- Off we go.

- Okay, wait.

- No, no, no, no, no.

- Take a couple.

[upbeat music]

- Come and see the ponies.

Have you seen them?
- I want to see ponies.

- I wanted your glam squad.

- I told you my glam squad
doesn't do animals.

- Of course they do.

- [laughing]
No, they do not.

- Hi guys.

Remember me?

- I don't have any treats.

- They run around
the garden every day.

- Now, which one is Diamonds
and which one's Rosé?

- This is Diamonds,
and that's Rosé.

- I would never see
this kind of a horse

horseback riding
on the beach in Malibu

unless I'd been dropping acid
earlier in the day.

- You've glitter
on your horses' feet?

- No, they do that.

I asked Erika's glam squad
to come over

and do them...

- And they said, "no."

- They have glitter
on their horses' feet.

- No, you can't eat
my Cartier ring, girl.

I know you want to,
Diamonds.

- Oh, he bit me.

- We are at Lisa Vanderpump's,

and I know
she's been wanting my ring

so she probably told the pony
to bite it off my hand.

- Hi.

- I mean, really?

- What can I say?

- Somebody has got to take
a picture of this, please.

- I'm on your swing.

I had to.
- Look at this, right here.

- I had to.

[women squealing]

[laughter]

- Darling, have you got

your drawers on at the party?

- Of course I have drawers on,
you b*tch.

- Lisa Vanderpump
really likes repeating the fact

that I may not have on knickers.

Like, how old are we?

Five?

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- I was afraid to wear
the bright pink.

- What were you guys,
over there,

in such avid conversation?

- I cannot believe...
- What?

- What were you guys
talking about?

- Standing there like that?
- No idea.

- Because you know what,
Kim and I went to...

- I'm not shocked.

- What?

- That...about Lisa Rinna,
telling

her that her husband,
that infidelity of her husband...

- "Do you trust your husband?"

- Do you...no, yeah.

- It's just a thing...it's just,
she doesn't end.

It doesn't stop.

Where does it end with her?

- She was really mean to Dorit,
I have to say,

and I certainly
felt the kind of hurrah...

- It's just...I'm sorry...
it really makes me upset.

It's not my problem,
but it is, because I feel like...

- You've been there.

- Because I've been the victim
of Lisa Rinna.

- You know, I have to admit

are the things you said
about Kim, too.

I know.

- Hi.
You know Lisa?

- I know Lisa, of course.
- Of course.

For a long time.

I know everybody.

I'm a staple in this town.

Hello, Kim.
How are you?

- Good; how are you?
- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

- That baby is too cute.

- Beautiful baby.
- Are you kidding me?

- Why don't you just tell her

you're talking about her
right now?

- Uh, I'm talking about you
right now.

[laughter]
- You're talking about me?

- Yeah.
- Bad or good?

- Oh, no.
- Probably bad.

- Well, I'm kind of
hearing some stuff right now.

- About what?

- Where's my escape room?
I need an escape room.

- I thought we k*lled that.

- Just when things
were going good.

- Oh, well.

Yeah, right.

- I dare you to walk over there.
- Go over.

- Why, so I can get the sh...
beat out of me?

- I'm just kidding.

- Coming up...

- Lisa, if I can smell
your breath, you're too close.

Take a step back.

- Wow.
- I mean it.

[upbeat music]

- Uh, I'm talking about you
right now.

[laughter]
- You're talking about me?

- [laughs]
Yeah.

- Yeah, right.

- I dare you to walk over there.
- Go over.

- Why, so I can get the sh...
beat out of me?

- I'm just kidding.

- Gimme one second.
Hold on.

- Am I sitting in your...

- Well, something weird
just happened.

I've no clue
what the hell's going on.

So I just said hello to Kim...

- Going back.
- Okay, love you.

- I said hello to Kim,
and I said,

"Hi, you know,
congratulations.

"Your grandson's
the most beautiful...

one of the most beautiful babies
I've ever seen."

She goes, "Well,
I've just...I've heard

some things that
you've been saying."

- How does this happen,
Erika Jayne?

- But why?
- What did you say?

You...[stammers]
She said nothing?

- Well, it's gotta be
the comment about PK.

Do you trust your husband?

- That's a weird thing to say.
- No, no, no.

It's not a weird thing to say.

Because why would she be
so threatened by Erika

if you really
trusted your husband?

It's the only thing
I've said.

I haven't said anything
about Kim.

- But that wasn't
about Kim.

- Well, I know,
but that's what the...

that's what it's gonna
go back to.

That's the only thing
I can think of.

- I'm missing stuff tonight,
obviously.

- I lost my accent, so I really
don't know what to do now.

- I need to be
caught up to speed, love.

- [mimics PK's accent]
PK, listen to me.

- You two have got
the worst English accents...

- Mine is so good,
and you know it's good.

- I gotta figure it out.
I hate myself for this.

Hey, Kyle.
Come here. Bring your sister.

- [gasps, laughs]

- Okay.
- I hate you right now.

- Everyone,
head for the hills.

- I'm gonna go to the ponies
and have a talk.

- Who?
- Who's gonna go to ponies?

- You and me, honey.
- Oh, sh...

Eileen, no!
Leave it!

Please!
No!

- Yeah, I find this
very annoying.

- Okay.
- This is getting...

Okay, I thought that was done.

- Well, so did I.

- Kyle!
I'm sorry.

- What happened?
- I'm so sorry.

- Oh, Eileen.
- I'm sorry.

- I am annoyed.

I'm so sorry.
- What?

- Well, I know I just yelled
over the party.

both: I thought
everything was good.

- So did we.
So did I.

- But she just told me that she
congratulated Kim on the baby,

and that Kim said...
- From far away.

- She'd been hearing
horrible things about her.

That she'd been saying more
horrible things.

I thought we were so done
with that.

- It wasn't about her.

It was about the stuff
with Dorit.

- But what did it
have to do with Kim?

- Dorit was telling Kim.

- They're just mean people.

They make up lies.
They're mean.

She made a joke months ago,
and Rinna makes everything up.

Crazy people.

- So it happened
between Dorit and Rinna.

- I think a few of them
ganged up on Dorit

when Rinna's going
"F...- you" in the face.

I mean, it's like, it's like,
f...-ing crazy behavior.

- There is real tension
in the air, Lisa.

It's just so unpleasant.

- Have you spoken to her?
- No.

- So since she's come in,
you haven't...

- No.

I haven't spoken, really,
to either of them.

- Do you want me to call Erika
over here?

- No.
No, I don't.

- I'm not okay with them
treating you like sh...

- I know, but then you know
what, I've gotta be a big girl.

- I'm not okay with them
ignoring you.

But by virtue of the fact that
they haven't acknowledged you

and said "good evening" to you,
just proves otherwise.

You don't
go to somebody's house

and then ignore
one of my good friends.

I mean, if Lisa
keeps her lips closed

and Erika
keeps her legs closed,

maybe we can all just get on.

- I feel like I need to
go over there.

- Well, okay then.
Let's go.

I'm right there with you.

[indistinct chatter]

- I'm right here.
- Okay.

Well, great.
I'm glad you're right here.

What do you need to say to me?

What do you need to say to me,
Dorit?

- Lisa.

Very, very hurtful
and very mean-spirited,

what you did to me in Hong Kong.

- I'm sorry you feel that way.

- Okay, but, Lisa, I don't know

where it came from,
particularly...

- Well, I can tell you coming
from me where it came from.

Because what I understood was,

you were saying that
I had a Xanax problem.

That's a hard...that's tough
after that night.

That's really tough.

So if I...

- Who'd you
understand that from?

- Well, Eden.

- No, no, no.

I was asked...

- Okay, tell me.

Who asked you?

- Who do you think?

- Dorit.

Knew it!

- But how would Eden have been
the first one if...

- Well, you said she came to you
and said that, you know, here.

Let me just tell you,
you know what?

I don't have a problem.

If I had a problem with Xanax,

I don't think
I could carry on my life.

- She never said you did to me.

- I never said
you had a problem.

- I think you're being paranoid,
actually.

- I've never said that.
- You think I'm paranoid...

- Yeah, I do.
I think you're being paranoid.

- Put in your head.

- I think you put
it out there saying,

"I pop a Xanax in a smoothie."

- Oh, we were totally joking.

You joke all the time.

- I'm not saying
you weren't joking.

I'm saying she reacted to that

- Will you...
- What's that?

- Excuse me for one second.

- Her exact words
in Punta Mita were,

"We bonded over
putting a Xanax in a smoothie."

- No party is complete
without a good catfight.

- I'll go with you.
- Let's go.

[indistinct chatter]

Here we go.

- You came home from Mexico,

and you asked me
if she had a problem, but...

- I didn't ask you
if she had a problem.

- You said
Dorit came to you and said,

"Does Lisa Rinna
have a problem with Xanax?"

- I said I was at Dorit's house,
we were chatting,

and she said, "Do you think
Lisa has a problem?"

When Rinna's really sitting
across the table from me,

and I'm telling her what
she said and she's really

looking at me saying, "I don't
remember any of this."

- Yeah.

- What am I supposed
to say to that?

- Well, do you think
that her personality,

do you think that it's, like,
induced in some way?

- Exactly.
So there.

That's...there it is.

- Bullsh..., Rinna.

I'm not a troublemaker.

I come from my truth,

and why are you trying to
drag me into fights?

Why are you
pointing the finger at me?

Why is it me, me, me?

What about you, Rinna?

- Rinna, I cannot help
but question what on earth

issues do you have that you need
to project on other people

and put it out there as if...

and these are really
extreme accusations.

It's not nice.

- I'm just observing what I see.

That's all.
- No. Wrong.

I don't think you
are observing what you see.

I think you're just like...

you went after her,
and you just would not...

- Why would I go after her?

- Lisa, I don't know.
- Why?

- The same way
you went after me.

I think you...
- Oh.

Oh, boy.
Okay.

[all speaking at once]
- Seriously?

- Lisa, just let it go.

Be done with it.

You said you moved on.

So do it.

- Well, you go after her,
you go after me, you go...

- I'm not gonna do that.

- She's gone after me.
She's gone after Yolanda.

She's gone after Lisa.

- So I am the bad guy.
- She's gone after Brandi.

She's gone after Dorit.
- Okay.

- It's a pattern.
- I'm the bad guy.

It's so easy to call me crazy,
nutty, lost her marbles.

She's so mean.

She's so aggressive.

She's so this, she's so that.

She blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah.

Whatever.
Like...

- But you know so well.
- You feel so good, don't you?

Doesn't it feel good
to be at your house

hosting a party
and just zinging me?

- No, because you know what?
We're not like you, Rinna.

Because we're not like you.
- Okay, good for you.

- We don't actually enjoy it.
- You know what?

- We don't enjoy
attacking people.

- Oh, stop.
- And you know what?

You do.
- Stop. No, I don't.

- And that is what I need
to understand you.

- I enjoy to tell the truth.
I tell the truth.

- What are you talking about?

You say one thing,
then you say another.

- So do you.
- [indistinct speech]

- So do you, Dorit.
You're all over the place.

You are all over the place.
- You do.

- Oh, please.
- Yeah, you are.

- What are you talking about?

- You've been talking
to all these people.

- I don't have an issue
with you;

I never had an issue with you!

- Yes, you have had an issue
with me.

Why haven't you come to me
until right now

if you were so pissed off at me?

- About what? About Hong Kong?
- From Hong Kong.

Yes, why didn't you call me?

- Lisa, first of all,
take a step back

and do not get in my face.

You did that once; I'm not
letting you do it twice.

- Oh, I was f...-ing
halfway across the boat.

- Lisa, if I can smell
your breath, you're too close.

Take a step back.

- Wow.

[indistinct chatter]

- Coming up...

- Erika, just said you were
deliberately cold.

You're not deliberately cold.

You're inherently cold.

- Why didn't you call me?

- Lisa, first of all,
take a step back

and do not get in my face.

You did that once; I'm not
letting you do it twice.

- Oh, I was f...-ing
halfway across the boat.

- Lisa, if I can smell
your breath, you're too close.

Take a step back.

- Wow.
- I mean it.

Lisa Rinna is so close,

I can feel the heat
from her breath.

I may have even smelled a Xanax.

Because I don't go for that.

- Okay, good.
- I don't go for that.

I'm sorry.

- All right,
so why didn't you call me?

Why didn't you come to me
and say, "I have a problem."

- Lisa, why on earth
would I call you?

- 'Cause you just said that
that's what you do.

- I left Hong Kong thinking,
"This is a real nutter.

She's a real freakin' nutter."
- You know what?

So are you.

I feel like you're a real
f...-in' nutter too.

- That's wonderful.

- I mean, so we kind of feel
the same way about each other.

That's great.
Easy.

Whoop!
- Okay.

- I don't see any reason

to continue this conversation
with Dorit.

It's not going anywhere.

It's like, "Why bother?"

And, "What's a nutter?"

- Well, this entire thing that
you did in Hong Kong

- What did I do?
It's all my fault, isn't it?

- You attacked me.
- Shocking.

Shocking.

Look what you did to Erika.

Are you kidding me?

- We weren't even
talking about that.

Where did that come from?

Deflect, deflect, deflect.

- What you did to Erika
for four months...

- What?

How did I do this to Erika
for four months?

- I'm sorry.
It's disgusting.

- There's so much bloody hot
air coming out of Rinna's a*s,

maybe if Erika stands next to
her, she'll warm up a bit.

- What did I do to her
for four months?

I have made every attempt,
which actually I was accused of

desperate for your friendship
and attention.

when I've only done everything
to try and...

- You've called me cold.

- But you are, and I've told you
this to your face.

- You've called me heartless.
- Erika.

- You've called me cold.
But wait.

- I didn't say
you were heartless.

- Yeah, you did.

I said you were frigid and you
were stoic and you were cold.

- And that's, like,
such a good thing.

- It's hurtful.
It's rude.

It's really mean
to do that to somebody.

So you tell me why I want to be
friends with someone like that.

- You're f...-ing nuts.
Nuts-o.

- Can I ask you a question?

If something like, you know,

what happened between us
had happened to you,

would you be really easy
to warm up to that person?

- Erika.

- I'm just asking you
a question.

It's a yes or no.
- Yes.

- Why?

- Because I would realize...

- That's not authentic.

- That it was taking my...
What's not authentic?

- It's not, you know, it's not
a natural response to have...

to warm up to someone
after what was said about them.

- Fine.
But say that.

- Yeah, so don't call me cold.

But you can't read social cues?

You can't read social cues?

- Not the point that
I actually ask you,

and you say, "I've been
told that by a lot of people."

- I have been told...no...
yeah, I have.

Of course.
- You're very reserved.

- Of course.
But that...of course.

- When she turned up
with knickers,

she was actually ready
to put it to bed

and have a laugh with you.

Come on.

- I'm...I'm the brunt
of the joke?

No, you're laughing at me.
You're not laughing with me.

- I know, and she's apologized.

- Erika, I had no idea.

- When did you apologize?

- She got on her bloody knees
in Hong Kong.

She apologized in Hong Kong.

- I don't remember that.

- You don't remember me
apologizing?

- No, I don't.
- You don't...in Hong Kong?

- Erika, I am extremely sorry
if I hurt your feelings.

It was never intended
to hurt your feelings.

I swear on my mother's life.

- Oh, my god.

The amnesia:

it's contagious.

- Erika, I was there.
She said it across me.

- Lisa, don't yell.

- She said it across me.
- Don't yell.

- I'm defending my friend.
- Don't yell.

- I can...I can actually yell
if I want.

Everybody else is.
- Why?

I'm not yelling at you.

- I'm telling you,
she apologized to you.

- I'm telling you
I just don't remember.

I'm actually very grateful
for the apology.

I just don't remember it.

I mean, I'm allowed
to have amnesia.

Everybody else
in this f...-ing group has.

I don't remember it.

- Do you remember
apologizing to her in Hong Kong?

- Of course I remember.

Not only apologize; you said,
"You call my husband.

You have your husband
call my husband."

You went into this whole...
I said,

"Erika, I had no idea you
felt this way."

- Now you have an idea.

Now you know how I feel.

- You know that Dorit...
Dorit had good intentions.

- I haven't done sh... to you.

I haven't done anything to you.

And you walked around and talked
all this sh... about me.

You have.
It's okay.

I get it.
It's who you are.

I get it.
I understand.

It's what you want to do.
- You can claim that.

You can claim whatever you want.

I know who I am, Erika.

- Uh.
And I know who you are too.

- No, you actually don't know
who I am.

- I don't?
Are you...

Is that what we're giving now?

I don't?
- You don't know who I am.

- Okay, cool.

I don't need to, actually.

I don't need to know
who you are.

I've been shown enough.
Thanks.

- Exactly.
And trust me, we've all...

seen enough as well.

But I know who I am.

- Oh.
both: Oh!

- Look at you. Oh.
- Wow.

- I did not raise it after...
Thank you.

- Where's LVP?
- I did not raise it after

- Can I ask you a question, PK?
- Yes, honey.

- Look at me.
- Yeah, I will.

- Did you ever say
that I did that to you

on purpose to seduce you?

Did you ever say those words?

Can you look me in the eye
and say that?

- No, because I don't have
a photographic memory,

so maybe that was
a throwaway comment.

But the reality is...
let me finish, Erika.

If you ask me a question,
let me answer.

- Well, there's no need
to get upset.

- I am upset,

because I'm watching you
g*ng up on my wife,

so I am upset.
- I'm not. I'm not.

- Erika, just said you were
deliberately cold.

You're not deliberately cold.

You're inherently cold.

- Whatever.

- I just heard you
say to my wife,

"No, no, I'm cold
because of this, this, this."

No, you're cold, honey.

- I'm inherently cold?
No doubt.

You don't like me,
get in f...-in' line.

- She made a joke.
It was a bit of fun.

- But it wasn't fun for me.

It wasn't fun for me.

- But when she apologized...
- It wasn't fun for me,

and it wouldn't have been fun
for her.

- Erika, I understand that.
- You understand that?

- Completely.
But at what point...

- But why?
Why is it okay?

- Erika,
at what point is it over?

At what point?

- When I say it's over.
- She said sorry.

- When it's sincere.

Dorit has not...
has always had something

kind of ugly to say to
me since then.

Oh, hey, oh, you can't give me
a compliment?

I've been nothing
but nice to her.

I haven't done anything to her.

- You believe you've been
nothing but nice to Dorit.

- I do.

- Well, I'm afraid
you're delusional.

- And I believe you've not been
nice to me.

I believe the both of you were
not nice to me

saying all those things
about me.

- Honey...
- You don't even know me.

Please, don't call me "honey."
- Erika.

All right,
I won't call you honey.

- Don't do that.

- I call people "honey," Erika.

What do you want me to do?
- I know.

But we're not in that space
right now.

Listen to what I'm saying.
It's a very...

- You're right we're not
in that space.

- We're not in that space.

- I'm gonna really focus on
not calling you honey.

- Thanks.
Try hard.

I know you can't help yourself,
but you should try now.

- I know.
- Do that.

[indistinct chatter]

- Coming up...

- That is rude.

I've given you so much
of my time,

my energy, my f...-ing heart,
you b*tch.

- Wow.

- Please, don't call me "honey."
Please, don't do that.

- I'm gonna really focus on
not calling you honey.

- Thanks. Try hard.
- Okay.

- I know you can't help
yourself,

but you should try now.
- I know.

This is what I'm talking about.

This is the cold...
- You know what?

She is not inherently cold
at all.

- I'm not inherently cold, PK.

- She's a lovely, warm,
sensitive person.

That's just my opinion
from knowing her.

- I completely expect
a comment from the gallery.

- Whatever. Don't care.
Don't care.

- Right.
- I'm just giving my opinion.

- Nor do I, honey.

- I can't imagine Vincent

ever treating another woman
that way

and saying those things

that are so inherently rude
and classless.

How about that for "inherently"?

- If I said something
about the whole

pantie-gate thing,
it was throwaway.

I probably said
a thousand times,

I didn't think
it was deliberate. So...

- I hope not, because
you know it's not.

- Not only that, but why do...
Erika, I know it wasn't.

- Thank you for saying that.

- And so do I, by the way,
so I don't know why you think

for four months
I was saying that it was.

- Because that's
what I was told.

- Do you think that she was

coming on to you?

- No, of course not.
- Thank you.

- That's all I needed.
- Erika...

- I needed that from your mouth.

Is this over for me?

Yes, but once bitten,
twice shy.

Gimme a break.
I know exactly who you are now.

- And by the way,
the only time it ever came up

was when Eileen
kept bringing it up.

You were there


- Is that really fair?

- That is not fair.
- Well, it is...

- "Is that really fair?
That is not fair."

Is that what you two do?

- Give me a break.
- It's rude.

- You're rude.
- You're rude.

Both of you. What...
Lisa, I don't even get it.

What you did to her.

Don't even get it.

We always got on great.

I don't even get it.
I don't get it.

- Bye.

- What did you say?

- Just stop.

- I'm off.

- [grunts]

The whole thing
makes my skin crawl.

- I want to be friends.

- Good-bye.
Have a drink.

I'm terrible.
Let's go. I'm done.

- I need to know that you know
what, you don't think that.

And we can stop picking at each
other and let that sh... go.

Do you realize how embarrassing
that was for me?

I mean, seriously, like,

do you realize
how embarrassing that was?

- Erika, do you know
if either PK or I

felt that you were that person,

we wouldn't have invited you
into our life as we have.

- It hurt me very much that you
gave me the underwear.

I'm being made fun of.
- No.

I promise you,
you were not.

- But that's how it felt.
Do you understand that?

- I understand that,
and I'm sorry for that.

- Thank you.
That's all I needed.

- If you feel that way,
I'm sorry.

I'm apologizing to you again,
Erika.

And I hope that
you hear it this time.

Because I really,
really mean it.

- The problem is,
if I say anything

in defense of Dorit to Rinna,

everybody yells at me like
as if I'm fighting

my old battles through Dorit.

- I can't have a conversation.

- You can't.
You can't get involved.

- When the husbands
aren't there.

- No, exactly.
I totally get that.

What you said
was absolutely correct.

The only thing I can say
is that I know when she took it,

the knickers,
it was to have a laugh.

I know that.
That's the only thing I can say.

- I should have said,
"What do you think,

I'm interested
in shagging you, babe?"

- No, you shouldn't have
said that.

You could have, you know,

invited me
to change places with me

when you had the big,
clear view of the wo...p......

- [laughs]
- Yeah.

- Ken, that is so rude.

- It's a joke.

- I know, but they're not
finding it funny.

- Kenny, I've gotta help you
to recover.

- He's a defeated man.

- I don't know how
I'm gonna recover.

- Whatever was said,

I can tell you
without a shadow of a doubt,

PK and I do not think
you did it intentionally.

It was a faux pas.

It happened.
- Listen.

I so would have loved to have
heard this a long time ago.

- I wish you would have
given me the chance.

- I so would have loved to have
heard this weeks ago.

Okay?

- I respect you,
and I respect people.

And I respect their feelings.

- Thank you.

It's nice to see

her being so authentic.

I'm sure there is always a way

to put things back together

and to try and have
a genuine connection.

But it will be slow.

I'm good.
I'm good.

- All right, good.
- Okay?

[indistinct chatter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, how are you?
- I'm f...-ing fine.

- Yay.
Good.

- I didn't like it when PK
called you inherently cold.

- Talk about projection.

- You know what?

It actually,
I have to be honest.

Like, with you, because you...

- [laughs]
Rinna.

- No, I do.

I have to be honest with you,
because I feel

that I've...we've
developed this friendship;

we've gone up and down,
we've had

"I went to Vanderpump,
this, that, and"...

and then you're
never present for me.

You're never there.
You just aren't.

- Are you f...-ing kidding me?

- No, we talk and then you go
into this situation...

- The minute
you went to Vanderpump,

my guard went up,
sweet thing.

Boom.
- All right.

Well, then at the party
you should have said...

- Are you done?
[laughs]

The minute you did that,
you were done.

- You know what?
F...- off.

- [laughs]
You're done.

- Ugh. Whatever.
- You're...

No, that is rude.

I've given you so much
of my time,

my energy, my f...-ing heart,
you b*tch.

- Oh!
- Seriously.

- Oh, Eden, don't say that.
- Wow.

- No, I've given you everything,
Lisa.

Everything!
- You don't even know me, Eden.

- And you have to sit there
and say that?

"The minute you went to
Vanderpump, you were done"?

- Wow.

Oh, look who finally
found her words.

[claps]

- It's not okay for you to treat
me the way you do.

I'm sick and tired of you
walking all over me

and using me
as your f...-ing scapegoat.

- Wow. Okay.
That is...

- I'm not kidding

at all!

And you know that!
I don't get this mad.

- Eden, I took...
my guard went up.

- I've been nothing
but there for you.

Nothing.

To try to heal you.

- I haven't asked you
to be there for me.

- Oh, really?

When you were having problems
with Kim?

- Then I did, and then...

- Oh, so when it's okay
for you to want me

to be there for you,
then I'll be there for you...

- Wow, you're really upset.

- Yeah, I am.
- Really upset.

- But for you to be there
for me, god forbid.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Wow.

♪ ♪

- Wow, you're really upset.

- Yeah, I am.
- You are really upset.

- But for you to be there
for me, god forbid.

Thank you.

- Wow.

- [whispers]
b*tch.

- What did she say?
- Oh, my god.

You tell me that
you were done with me

after I went
to talk to Vanderpump?

And yet, we traveled together,
we are still talking.

Like, are you full of sh...?

- Wow.
Um...

All right, who else...next.
Who's next?

[laughs]

- Eden!

Eden.

What the hell happened?

I'm tired of it.

- Why are you crying?
Why are you so upset?

- She's out of her f...-in' mind.

I can't do it.

I'm not gonna do it.

- Wait.
What just happened?

- She just...
- [laughs]

- You know what?
She felt dismissed by everybody.

She was telling us before that
nobody ever listens to her ever.

- [groans]

- I'm very big
on expressing oneself.

However, if you're feeling
this strongly about somebody,

maybe you should write it
in a letter, tear it up.

And then maybe write it in
another letter

and tear it up.

- I'm gonna go say good night
to everybody.

- Okay, love you.
- Love you both.

Bye, sweetie.

- I'll see you
and talk to you.

- Okay.

- Good night.

- And then she said the minute

I came to you, that was it.

It was over.
- What do you mean?

- Well, then why doesn't she
just tell me that?

Because I would choose you
over her any day.

- [whispering] It's all
going according to plan.

She likes me more than Rinna.

Yippee.

- I'm leaving.
Please, take care of yourself.

- Sorry.
I promise you I will.

You know I will.
- Please.

- I promise you.
- All right, bye.

- You're a lovely woman, Eden.

You're a lovely woman;

you don't need to be loved
by everybody.

Just, like, love yourself.
- You can be hated by everybody.

Look at me.
I'm cold and frigid.

I regretted showing my softer
side at the time,

but I think everyone gets to
see that I'm really very human,

and while I don't like it,

because I'm so protective,
f...- it.

What can I do?

Where is my car?

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- What just happened here

is...is absolutely...

- She put a lot...
- Her stuff.

And I wish her well.

- I feel for her.

I mean, I really do.
- I feel for her.

I really like her.

- I can't take responsibility
for that.

- I feel like she's wounded.

I can't just assume that
because I want to clear the air

that everybody else
is going to want to as well.

So the next time
I try to clear the air...

[laughs]

I don't know.

I might not be able
to help myself.

It's a compulsion.

I feel like she's wounded.

- But it is not our job
to fix her.

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- There's something about Rinna
I do like.

I know you haven't seen
that side...

- No, I have seen that side.

She's very likable at times.

PK and I go through this life
together.

We love each other so much,
it's so difficult

to see someone
attacking either one of us.

But of course, I love
having my husband there

and knowing that he's always
going to protect me

and he's got my back.

All the sudden,
she turns into this person.

- I don't even want to talk
about it anymore.

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- [singing indistinctly]

- Okay, just sing good things
about me, okay?

Rinna!

I think people
should adhere to my mantra

that love and laughter
will supersede all,

even with this group.

- Wait. Let me say good-bye
to Vanderpump.

I know that.

Thank you so much for having me.

- You're not going.
- I am.

- You are leaving?

- It's been
an absolute pleasure.

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- [laughs]

- ♪ You're incredible ♪

- Oh, see?

Okay, wait a minute.

I've been accused of
having a really big mouth.

The older I get,
I don't really give two f...-s

what people think about me.

I really don't.

And what comes out of my mouth

comes out of my mouth
for a reason.

Is it always appropriate?
No.

But there's truth to all of it.

[light guitar music]

- What, known as Ree,
what are you...no, what?

It's for me.

[light guitar music continues]

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- I lost my jacket.
- Lisa has it.

- What the heck?
Whatever.

Lisa stole my jacket?
- That was insane.

- She stole my feathers?
That b*tch.

You stole my feathers.

- [laughs]

She loves it.
- [screams]

I just f...-ing sat on that.

- Oh, no!

- You're such an as*h*le.

- Kyle.

- The overall message, you know,

between Eden with Kim
and me and Erika and Dorit

is that you've gotta
get to know someone.

I think if everybody had
taken more time

to get to know the person

before they were
so quick to judge,

they would realize they have

a lot more in common
than they don't.

- Oh, okay, we'll take it.

This is so...
- ♪ We're incredible ♪

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

♪ We're incredible ♪

- ♪ We're incredible ♪

all: ♪ We're incredible ♪

- To learn more
about the housewives,