02x02 - The Queen of Madagascar

[bunniefuu]

[tense music playing]

[distant shouting]

[dramatic music playing]

[distant shouting continues]

[Úrsula] Now no one will convince them
that this wasn't a miracle.

[sighs]

[Aureliano exhales sharply]

He's awake.

[ominous music playing]

This is my masterpiece.

This was the only place
where the b*llet could get through

without hitting any vital organs.

[Aureliano] What are you saying?

If I still had some authority,

I'd have you ex*cuted without trial.

Not for saving my life,
but for making me look like a fool,

you son of a b*tch.

- What are you doing, Aureliano? Enough!
- [doctor] I don't regret what I did.

[Úrsula] Let go. Have you lost your mind?

[doctor] Don't worry. It's all right.

He'll be okay. Excuse me.

[Aureliano groans]

[dramatic ethereal music playing]

ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE

[lively music playing]

[fireworks explode]

Ladies and gentlemen, quiet down.

All right. Now let's see what you've got.

It's time to select the winner
of the raffle.

- [man] Maybe I'll win that accordion.
- And the winner of the accordion is…

[whistling, cheering]

[man 2] Yeah, right. This is rigged!

Come on. Show us the paper!
Show us the paper!

- José Arcadio Buendía!
- [man 2] Let's see it, let's see it!

[man 3] All right, all right, bravo!

José Arcadio!

Hey, José Arcadio! I said you won!

Hey!

[narrator] After two whole weeks,

Aureliano Segundo still hadn't told Petra

that she had been sleeping
with both him and his brother,

believing them to be the same man.

Do you like it?

Not more than I like you.

[narrator] And instead of
setting things straight,

he only prolonged the situation.

[lively music continues]

[pensive music playing]

[insects chittering]

[narrator] Meanwhile,
José Arcadio Segundo,

who had not shown any sign of imagination,

was taken over
by the spirit of his great-grandfather.

José Arcadio.

I'm busy.

Have you seen your brother?

He might be asleep still. I don't know.

No, he's not here.

[sighs] You haven't eaten anything.

These flies are having a feast.

Is Great-Grandma in the kitchen?

Yes.

Why?

[music fades]

[flies buzzing]

Mama Úrsula, can I talk to you?

What are you up to this time, son?

Do you really have some money saved up?

Who told you that?

Look, I have an idea.

You better forget about that idea.

- But I haven't even told you what it is.
- There's no need, José Arcadio.

I already know this story by heart.

I recognize that look in your eyes,

and that's enough for me to say no.

[sighs] Mama Úrsula, listen to me.

I've been reading
Great-Grandpa's notes for days,

studying his drawings and inventions.

He was a genius.

Yes, but he was also obsessive

and couldn't tell where reality ended

and where his madness began.

But have you seen this?

[pensive music playing]

Listen to me, José Arcadio.

[Úrsula sighs]

The last thing I want
is for you to share his fate.

Leave that in the past.

[music fades]

[distant chattering]

[rooster crows]

[insects chittering]

What's the matter with you?

- Mom's worried sick about you.
- Okay, but that's not what I asked you.

You look like you could use a drink.

Come on, let's talk.

[accordion music playing]

Do you know Great-Grandpa
wanted to connect Macondo to the sea?

Ah! Told you those books
were worth checking out.

How about a game?

- Are you even listening?
- Yeah, yeah, but let's have a drink.

My friend, two rums, please.

[men chattering]

Why isn't the river fit for navigation?

- [Aureliano II] Who knows?
- [José Arcadio II] River is right there.

I don't understand why
nobody would follow Great-Grandpa's ideas.

Let's go to Catarino's.

Are you all right?

[José Arcadio II]
Imagine what could reach Macondo.

You aren't even listening, are you?

Yeah, José Arcadio, I am.

Imagine if we could get to the capital
but do it way faster.

I'm talking about actual progress.

If we had a port, we'd have boats,
canoes, ships would dock…

If we had those,
we'd have the whole world.

- [Aureliano II] The world?
- Tourists, businessmen, ideas.

Weren't you the one saying
nothing ever happens around here?

[music fades]

Listen, you can count on me for anything.

And don't worry about Great-Grandma

because, even if we have to lay
every stone ourselves, then we will.

[tense ethereal music playing]

[groans]

[groaning]

[breathes deeply]

[crowd clamoring]

[man] Long live Colonel Buendía!

[crowd] Long live the colonel!

[Úrsula] All right, boys.

Let's put some sweat into it
because we haven't earned our keep yet.

- [Aureliano grunts]
- [man] Here, right?

[Úrsula] Lazy people aren't welcome
in this house.

- Take that over there. Put it in the back.
- [man] Bring me that.

- Yes, ma'am.
- And you, pick up all those dead leaves.

Look! This whole area is a complete mess.

Ah, that's perfect.
That can go behind the tree.

[Aureliano grunts]

Stop right there, Mr. Buendía.

Who are you,
and what are you doing in my house?

Allow me to explain, sir.

The president sent our troop here
to protect you,

and it's best to be discreet.

- What are you talking about?
- It's not safe for you to leave.

[Úrsula] These all need to be watered.

[indistinct chattering in distance]

You're not well enough yet.

Go and lay down, Aureliano.

Either you get 'em out of here, or I will.

- What's the matter? What is it?
- I said get the hell out of here!

What in the world has gotten into you?

What's it to you
if I put these boys to work?

You think I'm going to waste the only help
the government's ever sent to us?

Are you insane?

You are way too old
to believe in those fairy tales.

Martínez, go fetch the clothes
I left on the clothes line.

What are you waiting for?

Get back to work!

Quit gossiping!
The yard won't clean itself!

- [man] All right, soldiers. You heard her.
- Look, I'm warning you.

[Úrsula] Enough with this nonsense.
Pull yourself together.

You are too old to be acting like this.

I said I'm warning you.

Save your breath.
Get it together, Aureliano.

Talk to her like that again,
I swear I'll k*ll you.

Shut up, José Arcadio.

You couldn't k*ll a fly
if your life depended on it,

you pathetic little b*stard!

[man] Come on.
We have to get this done quickly.

[indistinct chanting in distance]

Who are you?

Martínez.

If you get mud on those sheets,
Mama Úrsula will k*ll you.

Hold it up. I'll help you clean it.

Here, like this. Hold it.

And dust it off like this.

Brush it off.

Give me a hand.

[Aureliano] You think this is a joke?

Get out.

Get out!

[man] Everyone out! Let's go!

- Move out! Come on!
- [crowd] Viva!

[groans] You better run.

And take those screaming lunatics
with you!

I want them far away from my house!

[crowd shouting in distance]

We're gonna break through those.

It's not gonna be easy.

[man] You got it.

If a Buendía can't break those rocks,
nobody can.

- [man] You sound like your grandpa.
- He's worse.

[narrator] In an unexpected burst
of audacity,

José Arcadio recruited a group of men,
gathered some tools,

and set out on a colossal undertaking,

determined to break stones,
dig canals, and even level waterfalls.

- I got it, I got it.
- Pull, pull!

- Just like that, come on.
- [man] We got it.

[narrator] It was an impossible dream,

comparable only to those
of his great-grandfather.

[man 2] Come on now!
It's not gonna work. It's stuck.

I'll get it. Here, hold this.

[man 1] That's it. Keep pulling.
Stack it on the others.

[man 2] All right, all right, you ready?

[accordion music playing]

Let's go, let's go.

[narrator] And while his brother
worked tirelessly,

Aureliano Segundo worked
on cultivating laziness,

indulging in endless parties
at Petra Cotes' house.

Petra!

Welcome. Come in.

Go on. Go right in.

How are you doing?

[accordion music continues]

[music fades]

[narrator] One night,
Aureliano Segundo discovered he was sick.

[agitated breathing]

[narrator] Two days later,
he found his brother soaked in sweat,

tears streaming down his face.

[agitated groaning]

[narrator] José Arcadio told his brother
that Petra had rejected him

for giving her a filthy disease.

[Petra] Disgusting pig!

Who cares, anyway?

There's better ones than her.

I wouldn't be so sure, José Arcadio.

Don't take it out on Petra.
She doesn't know.

I tricked you guys. [chuckles]

See that accordion?

I won it at Petra's house,
using your name.

Oh, when you were drunk at Catarino's…

- Where'd you think I was?
- You're such a scumbag.

[laughs]

No, no! Hey, don't!

Who needs enemies with brothers like us?

- Who's gonna knock?
- You, Aureliano.

[Petra] Who is it?

José Arcadio.

[José Arcadio II] Oh f*ck. Here we go.

[Petra] I told you
I didn't wanna see you again.

[Aurelian II] No, you didn't tell me.

You told him.

I'm Aureliano, Petra.

You confused me for my brother.
I confused you for my brother.

We were all confused,
but we don't mind sharing.

- I mean, my brother thought he was me so…
- [Petra] Hold on.

What's your name again?

- Aureliano.
- Oh, really?

Why don't you go sleep with him, then,
if you don't mind sharing?

Or in other words, go f*ck yourself,
José Arcadio, José… Whoever you are.

Now leave me the hell alone!

[Remedios the Beauty]
Is it true you never had a boyfriend?

Well, it wasn't for a lack of suitors.

So then it is true.

You're a virgin.

[sewing machine stops]

[sewing machine resumes]

[sensual percussive music playing]

What are you doing here?

The colonel will k*ll you if he finds out.

Mrs. Buendía wants you to show me
where you keep the salt.

This is the salt.

Remedios, I…

What's the matter?

I feel like my heart might explode.

[heart pounding rapidly]

It sounds fine to me.

You don't understand, Remedios.

I'm dying for you, you see?

Please don't leave me like this.

[somber tense music playing]

[grunts, groans]

[breathing heavily]

Remedios…

Reme…

[somber tense music continues]

Smile, Remedios.

You've officially k*lled
your first Conservative.

For the love of God, Aureliano.

That's a human being you're talking about.

[Remedios the Beauty]
A very simple one, Mama Úrsula.

He said he was dying for me
like I'm some awful plague.

[Aureliano] You see?

Don't let anybody tell you otherwise,
young lady.

You are the brightest of the Buendías.

[Úrsula] That girl
is gonna give me a heart attack.

[Gerineldo] Since you probably
haven't heard anything, I have news.

[somber ethereal music playing]

The president's acting in violation
of the treaty you signed.

What does it say?

Well, among other bullshit,

it says the president will not reward
former soldiers with w*r pensions,

regardless of whether they are
Liberal or Conservative.

So they've stabbed us in the back.

Our soldiers will be old men
before they see a cent.

Aureliano…

Did you ever really trust them?

We have to respond immediately.

Well, that's not the only news I bring.

Next month, the president himself
will be visiting Macondo.

He wants to give you a medal
for your participation

in the peace treaty.

They're even holding a public ceremony
for you at the church.

[melodic accordion music playing]

[distant howl]

[distant barking]

[barking continues]

[Petra] You think this little act
is gonna work on me?

Tell me what I have to do to fix things.

Or is it that you don't miss me?

'Cause if you don't, then I'll leave.

Come on, Petra, I love you.

What you and I had was real,
and you know that.

So who was the bad lay, then?

You or your brother?

[chuckles]

Who do you think?

[Petra moaning]

[rooster crows in distance]

Hey, Petra.

- [Petra] Huh?
- Didn't you have two rabbits?

Yeah, why?

Has this happened before?

No. Never.

Do you think my roof would be
full of holes if that were the case?

[lively percussive music playing]

What if this works on cows?

[both laughing]

[indistinct shouting in distance]

[indistinct chattering]

[narrator] Aureliano convinced himself
that Petra's love

had the power to rouse nature.

[bellowing]

[bleating]

[clucking]

[whinnying]

[squealing]

[Petra moaning]

Hey, boss.

Did a nice job here.

[narrator] And without much effort,

he amassed one of the greatest fortunes
in the whole swamp.

[Petra chuckles]

If we're gonna connect Macondo
to the world,

the only way is
if we can somehow dig the river out.

All right, so what do you need?

Fifty men at least, dynamite,
some animals, and money

to motivate the guys.

[men cheering]

[José Arcadio II] We did it, Aureliano.

[men shouting indistinctly]

[José Arcadio II]
We did it, brother. We did it.

I told you, I told you.

I told you we could do it.

We did it, guys!

[narrator] Aureliano Segundo
gave his brother the money he needed

for his monumental project.

Send me a telegram if you need more money.

I will.

[narrator] And José Arcadio disappeared
for a long time.

[tense music playing]

Aureliano Centeno.

Sir. Aureliano Amador.

My name's Aureliano Arcaya.

Aureliano Triste.

Nice to meet you. Aureliano Serrador.

[narrator] With no plan between them,

and without even knowing one another,

the 17 Aurelianos had come
from the farthest corners of the coast,

drawn by the talk of the ceremony
to honor the colonel.

[bell ringing]

Who are they?

[military band music playing]

- Mr. Buendía.
- [music stops]

Thank you so much for joining us
and participating in this mass

before the big celebration.

As you know, it's Ash Wednesday, and…

Well, it's an important day for us.

Where is the president?

The president sends
his most heartfelt apologies.

He had to attend to an urgent matter,
but he sent us here on his behalf.

[bell rings]

[tense ethereal music playing]

[Antonio Isabel]
Remember, Aureliano, for you are dust,

and to dust you shall return.

[narrator] More out of amusement
than piety,

they let themselves be led
to the communion rail,

where Father Antonio Isabel
smeared ash on their foreheads.

The colonel endured it, thinking maybe
he had been longing for that afternoon.

I'm not gonna deny it.
For days, I have been anxiously waiting

for our head of state
to come visit our town.

- To put a b*llet in his head myself.
- [crowd gasps]

[murmuring]

To make him pay
for the antiquated ways of his regime!

And since he's too busy to be here,
tell him he better follow through

with the pensions
he promised our veterans.

[man] This is ridiculous.

Unless, of course, he'd rather
I gather my old army of soldiers.

And when reunited,
we'll go to w*r once again!

[crowd gasps, exclaims]

[indistinct chattering]

Take your cheap scrap of metal.

[ominous music playing]

Your men would be really proud of you.

[narrator] The Aurelianos left in a pack,

giving the villagers the impression
that the Buendía bloodline

would take root for centuries to come.

See you.

[narrator] The only one who stayed behind
was Aureliano Triste.

Who, when he went to wipe his forehead,
realized the stain was permanent,

as were his brothers'.

[bell ringing]

[women praying]

[praying continues]

[bell continues ringing]

Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women,

and blessed is
the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,

pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

[women praying]

[Mother Superior] Fernanda.

[mysterious music playing]

Please come with me.

[mysterious music continues]

FUNERAL WREATHS FOR SALE

Your mother is upstairs.

But don't bother her
if she's still sleeping.

Why didn't you look for me sooner?

Darling.

[breathing shakily]

Our family…

Our family

is unfathomably rich
and powerful, darling.

And you'll be queen one day.

[labored breathing]

[music fades]

[José Arcadio II] Over there.
That's where we dock.

[melodic music playing]

[José Arcadio II] Further down.
Keep pulling, guys.

Keep pulling! Just a little further!

Hold!

All right, let's go again!

Come on, boys! Pull!

Pull!

[narrator] The news spread

that a strange ship
was approaching the town.

[distant shouting]

[José Arcadio II] We did it!

- Bonjour!
- Bonjour, Macondo!

[men chattering indistinctly]

Tie the rope over there.

Right here, right here. Excuse me.

[narrator] It was nothing more
than a raft made of logs,

dragged by 20 men
pulling heavy ropes along the riverbank.

- [indistinct chattering]
- [laughing]

Watch it. Pull us over to your side.

[Aureliano II] I knew he would come.

Are you seeing this, Petra?

- [man] Welcome! Welcome, everyone!
- José Arcadio!

Aureliano!

Guys, give 'em a hand. Give 'em a hand.

Isn't that my friend José Arcadio?

That's José Arcadio,
but not the one you're thinking of.

[lively music playing]

[man 2] Pull! Come on, guys!

[Aureliano II] Everyone said
you had stolen my money.

I told them to go to hell.

- Thank you, Brother. Thank you.
- [woman] Bonjour! Bonjour!

[woman 2] Welcome.

[José Arcadio II] Welcome to Macondo.

[Aureliano II] Let's hear it
for José Arcadio Buendía!

- [all] Buendía!
- [Aureliano II] Yeah!

[all clapping]

- And for Macondo!
- [all cheering]

[Aureliano II] You see, Petra? I told you.

[music fades]

[narrator] That was
the first and last ship

to ever dock in Macondo.

[triumphant music playing]

[music stops]

[indistinct chattering]

[woman] Et voilà.

[romantic music playing]

[narrator] All that remained
of that unfortunate venture

was the breath of fresh air
brought by the matrons from France.

At first, curiosity lured more clientele
to the forbidden street.

And there were even rumors
that respectable ladies

disguised themselves as working-class men

to see the novelty of the gramophone
up close.

But after observing it so closely,

they came to the conclusion
that it wasn't some magical device.

It was a mechanical trick
that could never compare

to something as moving, as human,

and as alive as a real band of musicians.

[romantic music continues]

[music fades]

[people murmuring]

- [woman 1] Mother of God!
- [man 1] Look at that!

[woman 2] It's beautiful!

[woman 3] Is it magic?

[woman 4] What is it?

[cheerful music playing]

[Petra laughing]

[narrator] Dazzled by so many
and such marvelous inventions,

the people of Macondo didn't know
where to begin in their amazement.

[Sofía] Remedios.

[music fades]

[narrator] They'd stay up at night
admiring the pale electric bulbs.

[melancholy music playing]

[banging at door]

Hello.

Are you here for the funeral wreaths?

[man 1] No.

Good afternoon, miss.
We're looking for a--

[man 2] My apologies, Chavarría.

This is my daughter, Fernanda.

Please, come in.

[narrator] News of the colonel's threat
to the president

had reached far away territories

and raised concern for those
who still considered the Buendía name

a symbol of subversion.

[father] I'm listening.

[man 2] This is your chance
to make yourself indispensable

to the Conservative Party.

[father] At your service, sir.

[mysterious music playing]

Fernanda, get your things ready.

[music fades]

You have a long trip ahead.

[narrator] Convinced by her father

that the day of her coronation
had arrived,

Fernanda set out for the distant kingdom
where she would be queen.

[tense ethereal music playing]

I swear you are not of this world.

[narrator] They pestered
Remedios the Beauty so much

about cutting her abundant hair

that she simply shaved her head,

finally freeing herself from the heat.

Are you going to the carnival?

I don't think so.

Give me that.

Mama Úrsula told me
the only saint in this family

was your wife.

And that's why she gave me her name.

- [Aureliano] Hmm.
- [music fades]

Do I look like her?

I don't know anymore.

But "Remedios,"

it's a beautiful name.

[lively mysterious music playing]

It really is.

[percussive music playing]

[music intensifies]

[crowd cheering, shouting]

[laughing]

[howling]

Remedios!

Aureliano!

[man chanting]

[music fades]

[ethereal music playing]

[whistling]

- [lively percussive music playing]
- [cheering]

[cheering continues]

Welcome.

I'm Aureliano Buendía. And you?

Fernanda del Carpio.

[whistle rhythmically blowing]

[whistle rhythmically blowing]

[music stops]

My friends.

A round of applause
for Fernanda del Carpio,

the queen of Madagascar.

[crowd cheering]

[woman] Long live the queen!

[man] All hail the queen!

And for Remedios the Beauty,

our Queen of Macondo.

[crowd cheering]

[whistle blowing]

[Aureliano II]
Let's hear it for the carnival!

- [crowd cheering]
- [lively percussive music playing]

[fireworks whistling]

[fireworks exploding]

Let's hear it for the Liberal Party!

[crowd cheering]

[g*nsh*t]

Get down!

Get down!

[music stops]

[man grunts]

[dark percussive music playing]

[g*nsh*t]

[ominous music playing]

[muffled cheering]

- [g*nsh*t]
- [grunts]

- [lively percussive music playing]
- [crowd cheering]

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

[g*nsh*t]

[people screaming]

- [g*nshots continue]
- [music stops]

- [panicked screaming]
- [g*nshots continue]

[Aureliano II] Come on, come on.
We gotta go.

- [g*nshots continue]
- [man grunts]

- Oh my God, Remedios.
- We almost got k*lled, but now we're fine.

What do you mean? What happened?

What happened?

[distant screaming]

Aureliano, what's going on?

Aureliano.

Bring some water.

[panicked breathing]

You're all right.

[breathing slows]

What happened?

You have a pet porcupine?

It's the roses from the wreaths.

Sometimes I forget
there's thorns to remove.

The wreaths?

We make wreaths for funerals.

Where do you make them?

[door slams]

What are you doing here?

Who sent you?

[Aureliano II] Hey, hey, calm down.

Shut up, Aureliano.

I'll calm down as soon as
this lady tells me who tried to k*ll me!

What the hell are you talking about?

She came with the Bedouins,
and they were the ones sh**ting at us!

The government sent you, didn't they?

Have you lost your mind?

My brother was right.
You think the world revolves around you.

- You're a real man, aren't you?
- Aureliano, that's enough!

Go on, I dare you.

- Back off, as*h*le.
- What are you gonna do?

[somber music playing]

[narrator] When peace was restored,

not one of the fake Bedouins
was left in town.

And sprawled across the plaza,
dead and wounded alike,

were nine clowns,

four columbines,

17 playing-card kings,

one devil,

three musicians,

two peers of France,

and three Japanese empresses.

[music fades]

Were you spying on me?

[Úrsula] Not at all.

You were right.

The carnival was a disaster.

Please don't lecture me.

[Úrsula] Well, I'm glad you think so

because I'm not here to lecture you.

Go find her, Aureliano.

There's more to life than just partying.

You don't have children with just anyone.

[poignant music playing]

I saw the way you looked at her.

It was like seeing your great-grandfather.

[Úrsula chuckles]

Go on, son.

Go on.

[narrator] The only real clues
that Aureliano Segundo had

when he went to look for her

were her unmistakable moors accent

and her trade
as a weaver of funeral wreaths.

He searched for her mercilessly

with the same courage José Arcadio showed
when he crossed the mountain range…

with the same blind pride with which
the colonel promoted his useless wars…

and with the same tenacity

with which
Úrsula preserved their bloodline.

Aureliano Segundo pursued Fernanda

without a moment's discouragement.

And although he had never seen them
and no one had ever described them to him,

he recognized at once
the walls eaten away by bone salt.

And nailed to the door was the saddest,

most rain-washed cardboard sign,
which read,

"Funeral wreaths for sale."

[music intensifies]

[music fades]

[thunder rumbles]

[thunderclap]

[tense ethereal music playing]

[dark percussive music playing]

[dark ethereal music playing]

[somber ethereal music playing]

[music fades]

[dark percussive music playing]

[music fades]