15x04 - Boys Will Be Boys

[bunniefuu]

- LANDON: Previously, on "The Real World."

- WILLIE: I hope that dating in Philadelphia is gonna be easier.

I know that there's a big, g*y population.

Definitely open for a hot, fantastic, fabulous,

sexy relationship in Philadelphia.

- [laughing]

- SHAVONDA: Gotta cover the crack.

- I'm wearing a strapless bra,

and honestly, this is, like, totally restricting me.

- SHAVONDA: Okay, no. You're home.

See, like, I took off my shoes 'cuz I'm home.

- [exhaling] If someone wants to judge me, that's fine,

but I am here, and this is me,

and love me or hate me or whatever.

- WILLIE: Realist, much better. - So much better.

WILLIE: This is the true story.

- SARAH: Of seven strangers.

- WILLIE: Oh, my god!

- M.J.: Picked to live in a house.

- KARAMO: Work together, and have their lives' taped.

- MELANIE: To find out what happens.

- SARAH: I'm over it.

- SHAVONDA: When people stop being polite.

- WILLIE: Oh, shut up.

- LANDON: And start getting real.

- ALL: "The Real World Philadelphia."

- ♪

- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- It's so whack how there's not like, um,

a diverse g*y scene over here.

- KARAMO: It's horrible.

- I haven't been romantically involved with anyone

for a little less than two years,

but I am kinda picky,

and the bottom line is that lately, I just --

I haven't been feeling anybody.

So, what kind of guys are you looking for?

- I'm looking for a masculine man

who has some flavor about him,

who exudes hip hop style, and--

- Why? - KARAMO: Who is--

'cuz that's what I'm attracted to.

- WILLIE: I don't-- I don't have a type.

I've dated h*m*-th*gs, I've dated Wall street types.

- I'd give anybody a try, probably,

but I hate feminine men.

- Yeah, but you think that anyone

that's not hip-hop is feminine.

- KARAMO: No, you're lying, you're lying--

- I don't like feminine guys either,

I mean, you won't see me dating someone

who's voguing around, twirling up in the bar.

I'm usually really single for a good amount of time

or I'm in a committed relationship

for a good amount of time.

- ♪

- I'm really, really, really happy that Willie's here,

because I probably wouldn't have seeked out the g*y scene,

the gayborhood if Willie wasn't here.

- You gotta give it up for tr*nnies; you got to.

Because they got more ba*ls than any of us.

Work! [laughing]

- ♪

- [traffic noises]

- I'm having Mimosa.

- Yeah, but I wonder if we can get, like, a petro.

- SARAH: I like boys.

- SHAVONDA: I love boys.

- MELANIE: I love guys.

- I like Australian men.

- WILLIE: Ah, me too.

- SARAH: You like every man.

- [chuckling]

- KARAMO: Apparently everybody at this table loves boys.

- [indistinct chatter]

- I was like, "Everyone at here loves boys."

- WILLIE: Sarah is very free spirited,

and open minded,

and definitely likes to have fun.

- MELANIE: Is that what it is?

- SARAH: I drop food down my boobs all the time.

I was like--

- Mmm! You got a --

- [laughing]

- My breasts are an expensive accessory, basically.

I'm obsessed with them.

Love 'em, love 'em.

- You gotta name 'em before you start treating 'em like that.

- Okay.

- [laughing]

- SHAVONDA: Give me this, give me that, yeah.

- It was a graduation present. - Yeah.

- WILLIE: That was your graduation present?

- How big were they before?

- SARAH: A's, I had no boobs, but it's not like I'm--

- It's just like your parents buying you a car or something.

- SHAVONDA: 'Cept for these can't be repossessed.

- [laughing] - MELANIE: There you go.

I would never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever--

- SHAVONDA: No, we made, like, posters and diagrams.

- You--I'm sorry, like, even if someone bought 'em for me,

I just wouldn't.

I wouldn't get any plastic surgery.

Like you're--you're made the way you are

for a reason, just go with it.

- Melanie has a tendency with everybody in the house,

to tell them what they should do,

and if they don't do things the way Melanie would do them,

then it's wrong.

- SARAH: I think they were kinda, like,

wanting me to have more confidence in myself,

and then, I mean, you shouldn't, like,

get all your confidence just from having boobs,

but at the same time--

- SHAVONDA: It helps. - It helped me.

It made me feel more proportional.

- Yeah. - SARAH: That was a big issue.

I was anorexic and I was bulimic.

- UNISON: Really? - Yeah.

- Sarah seems really wild

and out-going, and proud of herself,

but the fact that she was bulimic

shows that she does have serious self-esteem issues.

So how long?

- Since , I--I mean, six months ago,

like, I was bulimic, like, still, you know?

- SHAVONDA: Wow, that's crazy.

- That place looks good. - SARAH: Oh yeah, I like that.

- MELANIE: Oh, Willie, look at all the flags.

It's the Equality Forum.

- [indistict chatter]

- WILLIE: I assume it's a sort of g*y convention of some sort.

- KARAMO: I mean, I got that part, but, I mean.

- WILLIE: But I don't know--

- WOMAN: Yeah, that's great, thank you so much.

- No problem, thank you.

It's crazy.

How did we stumble on something like this?

- [background chatter]

- KARAMO: House of Chaos.

- WOMAN: Bless This Mess.

- KARAMO: It's like a block party or something.

- DRAG QUEEN: Give me a brotherly love, now,

come on, we not having that.

♪ Come on

- ♪

- WOMAN: He's, like, "I'm gon' make one special to you."

- KARAMO: These--none of the g*y clubs I go to are like this.

This is opposite of my spectrum, this Willie's spectrum.

This is the opposite of my spectrum.

- MELANIE: Whatever, it's fun.

- Yeah, oh, yeah, I mean, we'll come occasionally.

- SARAH: Where'd Willie go?

- DANIEL: Hey.

- WILLIE: Literally, the minute I walked into this bar,

I felt a hand stop me in the chest, and it was him.

It feels really, really, really nice to see Dan again.

Are you from Philly?

- No.

- I met Daniel in New York almost two years ago

Dan and I didn't really date when we met,

we had this really great chemistry.

All we did was like walk around,

like, in the middle of the night,

and, like, kiss, hug, and talk,

and it lasted maybe about five or six days.

- We really shouldn't be talking, anyways.

- So, talk to me, tell me all about you now,

so what's your love life like?

- Non-existent.

- Why, 'cuz you're too busy?

- Good question. I think that is part of it.

- Can I tell you something? - Yeah.

- I liked you. - Mm-hmm.

- I liked you alot. - Mm-hmm.

- I just wanted to let you know that.

- Well, I have to let you know that I feel the same way.

- And it's really funny that I'm seeing you here.

- I know, this is so weird, like, I thought to myself,

"God, what was my -- problem?

Like, Willie was great..."

You are great. The end.

- [laughing]

So, would your friends be upset

if you come to the house with me and chill for a sec?

- Not at all.

- So cheers to that, and cheers to seeing you again.

- Cheers to seeing you.

- [traffic noises]

- Boys!

Hey, I gotta give you guys a heads up, okay?

We come home with a caravan of people.

I'm warning them because they are about to see people

that are gonna knock their socks off. [chuckling]

So, Willie's bringing someone in the house right now.

- Oh, whatever.

- [laughing] - Shut up!

- SHAVONDA: No, and like his homie's coming,

so there's gonna be like two g*y guys,

and Willie knows the guy from like way back when,

so it's like a reunion.

You're gonna die 'cuz this one guy,

I forgot his name, but he's, like, country,

and he's like-- he's like flamboyant g*y,

and I was like, "M.J. and Landon are gonna [bleep]."

- It's open, you guys are suppose to lock the door.

What's up, guys? This is my friend, Dan.

That's M.J., and that's Landon.

- M.J.: M.J. - Miss y'all.

- [cross talking]

- Can someone--can someone clean this place up?

- I wake up from a nap,

and I have g*y pride America walking in my house.

- Can a girl get some hydration?

- I'm already feeling like I'm in, "Alice In Wonderland."

- JASON: Right here, yes.

- This is where the straight folks sleep.

- The straight folk are over here.

- The straight folk sleep up in here.

- SHAVONDA: They're here, they're here!

- WILLIE: Landon, this is Dan.

- MELANIE: Willie, Willie, Landon, like --

- How you doing? - How are you?

- Good, how you doing? - Nice to meet you.

- And then over here is, um, M.J. and Landon's room.

Mm-hmm.

- Jason, they're-- they're not g*y, sweetie.

- JASON: Ah we established that, look at 'em.

- M.J.: Hold on, what's this "her" thing?

- LANDON: Hang on, whatev--

- JASON: No, no, look at her eyebrows.

Diana. - [laughing]

- Who the-- which one's--who's Diana?

- That's Diana. - What?

- That's mine-- that's a nickname.

- JASON: Landon, hi,

are you having sushi with us tonight?

- [indistinct chatter]

- LANDON: 'Cuz I just put a burger on.

- JASON: Okay, so that's a no? - LANDON: That's a no.

This is really weird, like,

having this many g*y people in the house.

It's just, fine,

I just feel, like, definitely in the minority being straight.

- JASON: Okay, M.J.

- M.J.: Alright, just answer me this,

like, is it straight and g*y-- is it bi?

- JASON: It's a restaurant, b*tch.

- I'm--I'm just asking. - [laughing]

- WILLIE: M.J. and Landon are sort of sheltered,

and sorta come from their own little microcosm,

and they're not necessarily use to,

uh, living with such, uh, diverse group of people.

- Bye, guys.

- Bye, girls, see you in a minute, please, what?

- Here.

- Oh, look, a gentleman, a gentleman.

- [chuckling]

- Well, that was, uh, quick little invasion.

- [laughing]

- LANDON: I need a big straight festival.

- I feel like I'm in shock.

This isn't an easy transition for me

from Nashville to Philadelphia,

and there's a whole lot that I don't know about.

- I think it's kinda funny how they call each other girls.

"Don't listen to her," what, who?

Clue us in on what the hell is going on.

- [chuckling] Life is amazing.

- Life is amazing.

- Um, that was awesome.

- Well. [clearing throat] There goes that.

- [laughing] - LANDON: Little sheltered life.

- SHAVONDA: I know.

- [thundering]

- ♪

- DANIEL: See, what up?

- WILLIE: Like--like what's up with your parents,

and--and everything?

- My parents are actually very cool,

very open-minded people,

more liberal than like your average Catholic parents.

My mom was like,

"I don't know what to do with this at all,"

neither did my dad.

My dad definitely was like...

- WILLIE: But, at least he didn't try

to beat the -- out of you.

- Yeah, not at all--

- That happened to me. [chuckling]

- DANIEL: Oh really? - Oh yeah.

I come from a very strict

Puerto Rican Catholic background.

I never thought I would actually go ahead

and tell my parents that I was g*y.

It's just, you know what I mean,

I don't really, like, hate them for that,

I just, do you know what I mean?

- But, so, they're okay with it?

- Um, they don't love it,

but, oh, the relationship is better, you know.

My relationship with my father

is much better than it ever has been.

With my mom it's a different story,

because she will never be able to look at me and not judge me.

- WILLIE: They cut the ribbon. - LANDON: Really?

- Yeah, but the Mall of America is, like, the coolest.

- LANDON: I worked at the Abercrombie there.

- WILLIE: How did I not guess that?

What?

- Yeah, we care. - No!

- Okay, do you have any oral [unintelligible]?

- Wow! You are nice,

I don't let anybody use my toothbrush.

- WILLIE: Oh, is it okay if Dan sleeps with me?

I mean, not sleeps with me, but sleeps in the same bed?

- [laughing] Can I watch? - [laughing]

- WILLIE: Is that cool? - SARAH: Yeah, that's fine.

- WILLIE: I forgot to ask you.

Are you a snorer, Dan? Be honest.

- I don't snore at all.

- WILLIE: Okay, good, neither do I.

- You can use any-- any hangers you want.

- Okay.

- ♪

- [whispering] I think we're gonna--

I think, oh, I think we're gonna sleep good.

Dan and I are really excited to have met each other again,

but we kinda wanna take it easy and take it slow,

and not sorta rush things.

- [laughing]

- WILLIE: I'm ticklish.

- ♪

- [birds chirping]

- SARAH: Did you have fun? - Yeah.

- Aww! - I had a good time.

- If you ever want me to, like,

go sleep in the guest bed, just--

- No, actually, I was gonna tell you.

I was gonna tell you that I'll, like--

we were just like making out, like, for like four hours.

- SARAH: I know, it doesn't bother me.

But I didn't know, like, I--

no, for me, it doesn't bother me.

I don't give a [muted], I can sleep--

- WILLIE: Did you fall asleep? - Yeah.

- WILLIE: Okay, good. - Oh, I was--

- WILLIE: But we were quiet. - Oh, yeah, you were--

Very--no, you were very quiet,

- But if you want-- - Second of all--

- If you're like-- - But I'm just saying,

like, "Sarah," you're like, "Sarah, come on,"

"I just, you know, wanna, you know, like--."

- The same way.

- Like, I'll be like, "Okay," and I'll tell you.

- I'm just happy. - SARAH: Yeah.

- That, you know, that I saw him again.

- SARAH: It's like that second chance for those peop--yeah.

- Yeah, but it's--it's weird how, like,

that works out, you know?

I know! I'm excited!

And he's so hot. - He is.

- Like the sexual chemistry is just, like--

- That's so important.

- Yeah, but it's like... [growling]

- SARAH: Smith Brothers? Look.

- [gagging sound]

- MELANIE: Yeah, I can't, I know.

- WILLIE: What'd you buy, what'd you buy?

- Some jeans, thank you.

- You're welcome.

- MELANIE: What'd you buy? - SARAH: Some jeans.

- MELANIE: How much were they? - SARAH: I'm not saying.

- How much were they? - I'm not saying.

- Were they $? - Something like--

- $, geez. - Something like that.

- I could never.

- It's--I told you, I--I have an issue.

- MELANIE: I really can't, I'm way too thrifty.

I need 'em on sale or something.

- M.J.: We need to find a Good Will store

or a thrift store.

- SARAH: Okay, we're gonna have Sloppy Joes

with sweet potato French fries and salad.

- KARAMO: Sound good to me. - You're so creative.

- Let us know about your day. - It was cool.

We ate at a really good, little restaurant.

Sarah bought -something dollar pair of jeans.

- One hundred fifty? - MELANIE: Yeah.

I can't do, it's crazy, huh?

- SARAH: Money to me is personal,

but it's still my money,

and I mean, I can do what I want with it.

It's not like it's on my mommy's credit cards.

- MELANIE: Isn't it crazy? I can't do it.

The two pairs of jeans that I have,

that I'm wearing here, $. each.

- LANDON: Nine? - I swear to god.

I think there's so many better things

to spend your money on than jeans.

- You know, like, Mel makes a big deal

about the fact that, like, I buy jeans for $,

fine, fine, fine, she can keep rubbing it in.

She does not need to come home, and tell Landon and Karamo

that--that I bought a pair of jeans for $,

like, that--that's, like, personal, you know?

- WILLIE: So why would she even mention it?

- I don't know, I just think that's rude.

- It is rude.

- Is she tryna say, I'm a spoiled brat

'cuz I buy something for myself that's expensive?

I don't know, I'm just cranky, and I'm--

- Oh, take it all out on the gym.

- I know.

- That's why we're going, let's go spin, baby.

- If it's not coming out of your bank account,

just leave me alone.

- M.J.: Well, let me tell you something,

the best way to handle something like that

is if you're being confronted with something,

you don't like it, straight up tell 'em.

- And a quarter turn.

- M.J.: I am struggling on this bike.

I'm just hoping I can keep up with Sarah

because right now she's kicking my a*s.

This gon' be a slow a*s walk home for me.

- SARAH: Okay.

I just have alot of rage. [giggling]

- I can tell, boy,

your little wheels was spinning faster than mine.

- I just get in there,

and I'm just like-- [growling] You know?

I go, "Melanie, I won't go to the gym as much,

if you don't piss me off as much."

- [laughing] - She--

- I just think that Melanie says stuff--

- She just puts-- - Without even thinking--

- Yeah, I know, but she just puts people's--

her nose in people's asses.

I can't deal with somebody telling me how to live my life,

and how to be, and what's wrong and what's right.

Yeah, like everyone judges everybody,

like, secretly, you know, but, like, okay.

- So, you rather keep it secret than bring it out?

- No, no, no, no because everyone has to, like--

this is the thing, like, you can make your judgments,

but you don't know everyone's situation,

and, like, you don't, you know?

Like everyone has their vices.

- Yeah.

- SARAH: Hey!

- FYI, for everybody in this house,

don't ever, ever do the spin class.

- SARAH: I'm somebody who likes to address things,

and I don't like to make it into an argument

especially when it doesn't have to be.

- Two seconds? - Yeah.

- Okay.

- It's stupid, but I just wanna--

- Yeah.

- Get it out, so, it's really dumb.

With me, like, money's personal. - Yeah.

- You know, and it's, like, I didn't know why--

- MELANIE: Yeah.

- You would tell Landon and Karamo--

I know--I know that you don't have--

I know that, like, you don't have malicious intentions.

- No, I'm sorry. - SARAH: No, honey, no, no.

- I didn't make you-- I didn't mean,

if, like, I knew that it, like, if I knew you were, like--

I'm very opinionated,

so sometimes I come off as a b*tch,

and I hate that,

so taking me wrong is something

that really hurts me.

- Honestly, I just wanted to tell you.

Because I was kinda, like,

I was, like, kinda upset about it, you know?

- Yeah.

- And I was kind of venting to Willie, and, like--

- I'm so sorry. - No, don't be, honey.

I wanted to, like-- I went to the gym.

I sweat it out, I was tired, I was cranky,

and I was kinda, like, hurt.

- I was impressed with the way she came to me,

and, um, pulled me aside,

and didn't make a huge deal out of it,

and now we're just fine.

And this is exactly what I want to happen.

I want you--if you ever have a problem with me,

I want you to come to me,

if I ever have a problem with you,

I want you to come--

Me to come to you, you know what I mean?

And us talk it out.

- [locomotive sounds]

- [horning blowing]

- WILLIE: Where would you like to be as of now?

- Uh, what do you mean?

- Where would you like to be, what--

- In terms of? - In terms of you and I?

Meeting Dan two years later in another city

is definitely a bit weird.

I definitely do believe that things happen for a reason.

I totally understand if feelings too strong,

too early, happen.

- Like, let's see if this is gonna produce--

- Okay. - You know what I mean?

- Okay, yeah.

You wanna leave it open? - No.

- I don't know what's gonna happen.

Both of us have been kind of single for awhile,

and we don't wanna rush things at all,

but it's looking good.

Let's go to bed. - Mm-hmm.

- Come in here with me.

- 'K, you don't wanna-- you wanna--

- ♪ Here I am, a thousand rainbows in the sky ♪

♪ Velvet kisses blowing daffodils goodbye ♪

♪ Take my hand, across the galaxy we'll fly ♪

♪ You make me...

- [laughing]

Here, let's use someone else's towel.

Where you going?

- DANIEL: We're gonna just go right here.

- WILLIE: Here, use my robe, use my robe.

Here, just take the towel.

- Yeah, okay, oop. - [snickering]

- [laughing]

- LANDON: Oh my [bleep]!

- [laughing]

- LANDON: What is -- - SARAH: They can't do that.

- Yeah. - You sleeping with, ah!

Okay, I'm gonna go.

- SARAH: We're--no, just gonna be having some--

- LANDON: We have room here.

- No, it's just that,

we wanna give the boys over there some privacy.

- I don't wanna sleep. [squeaks]

- Oh, shut up,

we're both in the same [bleep] [unintelligible].

- Yeah, you guys, I got too tipsy, okay,

so we're not doing that again for a while.

- LANDON: We're not doing that again.

- Oh! I just saw a naked butt.

Two men, not dressed in bed, they were all over it.

Kinda like free porn on HBO.

You not suppose to watch it,

and you don't want your mom to know you watched,

but you watched it.

- I saw just a man's a*s. - A butt?

- [giggling]

- LANDON: Willie and Dan

are doing a little pajama dance of their own.

M.J. and I are just tryna find out

if what we think is going on is true. [chuckling]

That's your flower pot. - [laughing]

- Would you stop spying?

- [whispering] I can't help it.

- [laughing]

- WILLIE: Next on, "The Real World."

- KARAMO: I'm at the bar,

and all of a sudden, I see a cop on the side of me,

and I realize they're three more in front of me.

How many times have you ever been surrounded by police,

asking you if you have a g*n?

How many times, just tell me that answer?

- I can't tell you a [bleep] thing

because all you do is run your [bleep] mouth,

and now you've pissed me off.