17x12 - Tyler's Night of Fun

[bunniefuu]

Previously onThe Real World:

Our store should be open already.

Hurricane Rita postponed our opening.

Looks fantastic.

You're doing this

and you're being a [bleep] b*tch about it, Paula.

Kiss my a*s!

When I was there, what'd you say?

When Paula is drunk

she goes nuts.

You're a very sad girl.

You're depressed.

You're anxious. I feel like

I've hit rock bottom.

I think that I can help you.

I think that you can get your life back.

I think you can be happy.

Captioning sponsored by MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS

This is the true story...

Gorgeous, man.

Of seven strangers... [ laughter]

Picked to live in a house...

Work together and have their lives taped...

Whoa!

To find out what happens... [ gasping ]

When people stop being polite...

And start getting real.

ALL: The Real World: Key West.

ZACH: I cannot wait to start work.

Work is going to be fun.

We're going to start tomorrow morning.

We're doing a soft opening,

and then a bigger grand opening

the following weekend.

This is the proper way to wear it, right?

Yeah.

JOHN: I've designated myself to be the lab rat

for this whole new mystic tanning process.

I'd like to be the first one to try this out.

Would you, would you do me a favor?

I'm being serious. Would you do me a favor?

Yeah, yeah, I will. Will you watch the video once?

Yes, I will. I want you to watch it,

'cause there's some stuff you're going to miss.

WOMAN [on tape]: Welcome to Mystic Tan.

You're about to experience the ultimate in UV-free tanning,

to give you that ultimate tanning experience.

The initial burst of spray can be startling.

Now, watch this.

You'll be sprayed with a fine, tanning mist

for seconds.

Remember to wait four hours before showering.

Okay, you ready?

ZACH: Oh, I'm ready.

So, hyper tan?

Hyper tan.

Over the entire body. The entire body.

I mean everywhere.

Now I wish I wasn't here. I'm out.

Do I put it on my face, too?

Yes. Are you going in your skivvies?

No, man,

I'm going in butt naked.

Okay, guys. Get ready.

All you've got to do is hold your hands...

Open it up.

Keep your mouth closed.

[laughing]

He's like this.

[laughing]

All right.

Where's box of towels?

[laughing uncontrollably]

Aah!

I definitely did not put enough of that cream on.

Look at this, see?

That's not cute, dude. Let me see your feet.

JANELLE: Oh, you have cute guy feet.

Why, thank you.

They're kind of girlie.

Good.

They are.

JOSE: Did your a*s get tan?

I don't know, did it?

I don't know,Janelle?

Well, look. Janelle, did it?

I don't know.

Is it? A little bit.

Look it.

Janelle's pretending she doesn't like it.

I did not like it at all.

She's like, wow, I'm going to take a bite out of that thing.

ZACH: Tonight we're out selling our product line,

giving people advice on Mystic Tanning

and just realizing the our market is awesome here.

We're opening up a Mystic Tan sunless studio.

It's close by, though.

This whole tanning spiel

is actually a quite effective way of approaching girls.

Are you promoting? I have a flier.

Yeah, give me a flier.

Do it up, guy.

JOSE: Today's opening day.

All of us are excited.

All seven of us are here

and ready to start making some money.

Clock this girl in.

We need a sunglass holder.

JOHN: I'm so tired.

I want to go to sleep right when we get here.

In an hour, I've got a bed cot for you there.

No way. That's why I carpeted my office.

I didn't get one wink of sleep last night.

I need to get some sleep before I, um, die.

Back there, a perfect slot.

You just slide right in and pass out, dude.

Take one of these pillows if you want.

I'm going... duh.

I think it wouldn't hurt to have one less person here,

so I decide to go and take a nappy nap

in my closet-- my office, I'm sorry.

It's actually my office.

PAULA: Everybody's just letting John sleep in the closet.

I think something's wrong with John for thinking that's okay,

and B] something is wrong with Zach for letting that be okay,

and C] something is wrong with everybody else

for thinking it's funny, because it's not funny.

[ snoring ]

Whoo! We have a customer!

JOSE: The first customer

comes into the Mystic Tanning Store.

so it's exciting for us.

JANELLE: Hi!

How are you? Hello.

Good. How are you?

Good.

How can I help you today?

It's very important that the opening

goes very well.

Key West is a small town, so word of mouth is huge.

♪

♪ Let's sing the place with our moves to show ♪

♪ We are the evolution to music and dissolution ♪

♪ This is an innovation to this entire nation. ♪

ZACH: Seeing money go into a machine

and gaining all the fruits of our labor

is a really exciting time for all of us.

[phone ringing]

Hey, Ricky, what's up, buddy?

Hey, what are you doing?

So we grossed $.

Whoo!

We need to make twice as much if we want to get paid

the way that we should get paid, so we have a lot of work to do.

I agree. This is just the first day.

You should be proud of yourself. Well, we are.

We're going to go out tonight and celebrate a little bit

and go to some parties,

and we miss you and we wish you safe travels.

[indistinct party chatter]

I'm, like, what are you drinking,agua?

[both yell gibberish]

[little girl's voice]: Oh, I'm sitting next to you, Ty-Ty.

TYLER: Uh-oh, uh-oh.

Paula's drunk again.

I sit back and fasten my seat belt

'cause I know it's going to be a great ride.

Um, Johnny, he has a size-six shoe.

Listen, Paula, talk about someone else besides me,

please, 'cause I...

Anybody that goes to work and sleeps,

kiss my [bleep] a*s.

Paula, stop, come on, play nice.

No, [bleep] that.

If a mad dog barks, you shouldn't bark back.

This is, you know,

advice that I've been getting my entire life.

Actually, Johnny, I actually want to see what's up.

Johnny, let's see what's up with you and Tyler.

I'm sticking my head out the window.

I wear children's shoes.

My name is Johnny Banana. I have a small [bleep].

My [bleep] are the size of walnuts.

TYLER:How big?

JOSE: Hey, lay off the banana.

Say that again, Paula?

Repeat what you just said again.

No, mosquito bites, stop talking about it.

When it gets to that point where people just want

to scream and yell and not listen to what you're saying,

it's hard to walk away.

My waist is six inches around and I pick my scabs

'cause they don't heal, dude.

So continue on, Paula, please.

I'm [bleeping] , but I have a three-year-old

[ bleep ] scab, because I won't let it heal.

Continue, dude.

SVETLANA: John, John, John.

I haven't eaten for a [bleep] week.

Continue, Paula. [bleep]

John.

John, open the gate.

Oh, yeah, his wiener opens the door [bleep] six inches...

Paula, Paula, you're not helping yourself. And... shut.

Paula, you're not helping yourself.

Oh, kiss my [bleep] a*s.

Because everybody kisses his a*s.

No, everybody can kiss

my a*s. Me, too?

You, you, you.

Paula!Well, not you, but...

Paula, why me?

Don't worry about it, just take it, just take it.

JOSE: Paula's angry and drunk, and usually when this happens,

she begins to have diarrhea of the mouth.

You know, I'm just over it.

What did I do to you, Pasha?

Not what you didtome, what you didn't... What'd I do?

You know what, I always get...

ZACH: Be quiet, Jose.

No! Because... I know, I know.

[sighs slowly] Breathe, please, breathe.

When he's acting like a raging lunatic... Yes, yes.

It's not[bleep] o-kay. Right.

Shh!

JOSE: 'Cause I'm tired, Zach.

Okay, so get [bleeping] tired with Johnny,

don't get [bleep] tired with me.

No, I'm not tired with you.

I'm tired with everybody else in the house.

I know. And everybody blames Jose,

and Jose has to be the bigger person.

Enough is enough, I have to

say what I feel and stop being in the background

and blending in all the time.

So why do you take your blame out on me?

I don't take my blame out on you.

Johnny just diverts

his [bleep] idiocracy

on the world, on other people.

I know. He's an idiot!

Anybody that goes to work and sleeps,

kiss my a*s.

And the fact that you...

JOSE:Why me?

I'm assistant manager.

[snickering]

Stop laughing, Tyler.

John was sleeping in the closet.

Kiss my a*s! Get the [bleep] up, John!

What the [bleep]!?

You and Zach would let him work like that?

I would like to see you say this to Zach right now. It was Tyler.

Let's go.Come on.

You say this to Zach. All right!

Zach!

It's Zach's fault.

Zach!

Apparently, I need to yell at you.

Let's go in the billiard room.

Apparently what? [whispers]: Just listen.

Apparently, I need to yell at you

out of everyone. Okay.

I was working all [bleep] day.

Damn right you were.

And he was [bleep] sleeping in a closet.

I wasn't there when it was happening,

I left, but from what I heard from Ricky

and everybody else around here, dude, Ricky said

we cannot let that happen. he would send them home.

And then, he was like, you know, what else do I have to do?

Blah, blah, blah. Kiss my [bleep] a*s.

They are cut from pay. No, not cut.

I don't want to cut his pay.

I just want to teach him that it's not okay to sleep in the house.

Okay, we'll talk about that tomorrow. All right.

Is that, is that ridiculous to anybody else but me?

[phone ringing] No, it is.

Why would anybody think that's okay?

Pasha, please. On day one, would you think that's okay?

It's not okay, you're right. If someone is working,

it's our employees.

Jose? Who is it, Jacqueline?

It's on tonight, dude.

Go talk.

One sec, baby.

Paula...

John...

John does not have this crazy vendetta

out to get you. Really?

If you look at an outside perspective,

someone could look and say, "Oh, well,

"Paula talks a very mean game to a guy

"that was definitely putting his head out the window

to stay out of a conversation."

And you were drawing him in.

Tonight you drew him into a fight, you did.

Me? I? Yes, you did. You did.

I did? You had a...

Me? You and Jose...

Yes. You don't think that John drew me in?

Paula, Paula...

ZACH: I believe that

Paula brings a lot of the emotional arguments

on herself.

When she drinks, when her emotions slip out,

she is no longer herself.

That's not fair, Paula.

Well, kiss my a*s!

Kiss my a*s.

If you think that I give a [bleep] about him, I don't.

So you...

[rock music plays]

[groans loudly]

That's why I [bleep] hate living in this house!

Because you're an [bleep], he's an [bleep].

Everybody's an [bleep]!

♪ Like hell we are anxiously waiting ♪

♪ Like hell burning silently strong ♪

♪ Somehow we fell down by the wayside ♪

♪ And somehow hell is home as we burn ♪

Because I can't remember why on the ride home

that I got into fights.

I don't know, babe.

Probably running my mouth.

Maybe.

We all know how you're a little pipe show.

Blah, blah, blah.

Piping off at the mouth about all kinds of nothingness.

I think they made fun of my,

my scars and stuff in front of everyone.

That's not cool.

You know what would probably be the best decision

I could ever make?

What's that?

Stop drinking.

Y-Yeah.

Yeah, but I don't want to.

[chuckling]

It's hard, 'cause, like,

you don't have anybody to work on it with,

'cause, like, everybody down there

is just trying to get [bleep] up still.

Well, all I want to do is go back and talk to the doctor guy.

Yes, I'm in therapy, and, uh, it's a lot different

than what I was expecting.

I... love it

and hate it at the same time.

Yeah, well, now that I have, like,

stuff that I should, like, start, like, working on...

Mm-hmm?

Maybe I won't need to go out.

Yeah, you can always stay in and do some serious yoga.

And where I'm sitting right now is,

do I want to deal with this anymore, dude?

'Cause I'm... right now,

I could honestly just be like, you know what?

I do not want anything to do with this girl.

I don't need to talk to her, dude, I really don't, man.

She loses the ability to reason.

If you're going to go out and you're going to drink,

you really need to know where and when to stop.

Honestly, I hate to say it, but if she's drinking,

I don't want to be around her, dude.

Then don't, be, yeah.

Because when she drinks, that's when that happens.

When Paula is sober, it's a lot different.

As soon as she starts with the booze... Well, the problem is that

she drinks aggressively.

She drinks when she's angry, when she's upset...

"Ugh!" When she does that,

that's when Paula's pissed off, dude.

I honestly think it's all a result of

just her not getting her emotions out through running,

through a journal, through...

I don't know, do yoga.

"Kiss my a*s!" [laughs]

When she starts saying that...

It's over. it's bad, dude.

It is over, man.

But, honestly, though, when somebody says something

personal to you... But it's hard to step outside.

It is. When you're in the moment,

it is so hard. I stuck my head

out the car window, dude. I saw you, I know.

I should have just stuck my fingers in my ears

and just went la-la-la and just not listen, dude.

I don't remember anything.

I remember it,

but it was just hazy as hell.

Was it my fault

that it started? This is what I remember.

I remember him saying mosquito [bleep] !

Poor Janelle, we were yelling and she's driving.

I'm like, she has the worst...

It was entertaining, I didn't mind.

JANELLE: You started it.Did I?

Yeah. What did I say?

You said something

about John and then you started crying

and you got really upset.

It had to do something with work.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

The reason, the reason why, you started saying

he had a small p*nis, and then he started

coming back at you with his same old routine.

And then I heard "mosquito."

And then I started yelling

And he started saying what he normally says.

Oh.

PAULA: I figured that I probably started it.

It's my fault and that's

the only person I can blame and that's...

just...

an embarrassment to myself.

The thing... and the thing that really, really, really upset me,

was when he said stuff about this

and everybody in the car got quiet

and I knew that's when it was, like, not cool.

It's like she... It doesn't help.

Like, she needs to see the psychologist.

I just saw, I think they just pulled up.

Yeah, that's them.

Hello.

Hey, ladies.

Hey, Baynes.

JOHN: I think me and Paula are both aware that,

um, there's a little bit

of tension between the two of us,

and it's starting to get uncomfortable.

This is my only solution,

and honestly, I thought about it.

I can't be around you when you're drinking.

There's been times when I have definitely got you riled up,

an-an-and it has been, you know, my fault.

But last night, it was like, I was honestly trying

as hard as I possibly could to just

stay out of it, dude.

I just, like, the only part

that concerns me is, pow, it's like a switch

and I turn into...

That is... fricking...

It is.

It's weird, it's confusing.

I just think that...

It's not confusing, it's scary.

Honestly, I just think maybe you should

stop drinkingas much,

You know? Oh, yeah, like, I know.

But, like, I woke up and I was like, "I had a feeling."

I was like, "Okay, I definitely was mouthing off."

But I was like, "Did I start that?"

And then Janelle's like, "Yeah! You did."

and I was like, "Oh.

All right, well, I'm not going to, you know, pass the buck."

That's not okay, and I wouldn't want

to be on the other end of that, ever.

I don't want

to put myself on John anymore,

'cause I know I would just hate to be him, and like, "When

is Paula going to freak out on me?

I'll fix it.

I'm like, "I'm...

I'm going at a snail's pace, but I'm trying.

Yeah.

Hey, Paula, when you go to your, uh, thing,

could you drop me off at the gym?

Yeah. Okay, cool.

PAULA: I like talking to the doctor, 'cause

he's an unbiased party, and, uh...

he doesn't make me feel crazy.

So how is this guy? Is he, is he nice?

Or a girl, or whoever it is?

Yeah, I don't know, like, I've never,

have you ever gone to like, like...

Yeah. You've gone and talked to people?

Yeah. I didn't know

what to expect, so I was kind of,

like, weirded out. It's just weird.

Well, they're supposed to make it easier on you.

JOHN: I think now that we've gotten

this whole issue resolved

and out of the way,

hopefully it's not going to come up again.

Good luck.

Thank you.

Tell your boy I said hi.

♪ If you want to belong

♪ If you think that you can

♪ Bring out the smile that's underneath your frown. ♪

He was making all these kind of connections

to, what, like, from when I was a little kid, to how I,

like, react to things now and stuff. Mm-hmm.

And it was just kind of.... It's interesting,

how, you know, growing up kind of affects you overall.

I love going to therapy.

Dr. Covan's

just trying to help me help myself

to not be so negative,

and that there is a different way to look at situations.

Okay, I drink too much and then act like a raging lunatic.

He's like, "Well, what do you mean drink too much?"

I was like, "Oh, like, basically... get very angry.

I cry and I cause a scene."

And then he's like, "Okay." He's like, "Do you black out?"

I was like, "Yeah."

He's like, "That's bad.

That means you're at a toxic level in your brain."

He goes, "Okay, so...

do you like looking like a fool?"

I mean who wants to get blacked out drunk

and be everybody's entertainment for the evening?

I should start charging money for those shows.

I was like, "But I like going out."

And he's like, "Well, yeah,

nobody's saying you can't go out.

Nobody's saying you can't drink."

It's like, but there's no reason to get, you know, that drunk

and that, you know, out of control

because, he's like, "Because you obviously

don't have a good time doing it."

So he was really, he was just really chill,

and he, like, put myself at ease.

and it was just like... blah.

You know, first time I was like, "Oh, my God, oh, my God."

Now, I'm just like...

Is it just kind of like,

let it all out? Yeah.

To have Dr. Covan have that faith in me,

is really a positive step.

I mean, it still seems like such a huge mountain to climb,

but it's starting to make sense.

High five. You're happy.

No, a better one.

There you go.

I want some slaps.

♪ If you want to belong

♪ If you think that you can

♪ Bring out the smile that's underneath the frown. ♪

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

On the nextReal World--

[laughing, shrieking]

Help!

What the [bleep] are you guys doing?

You hold up and wait and we'll

walk at our pace.

Now she thinks that she is a diva.

Get out of my face. Don't [bleep] talk to me like that.

Don't talk to me like that.

'Cause I'm tired of your [bleep]

You are nobody, so stop. Stop, stop, stop.

Todo, what again?

Uh, "Record."

MACHINE: Now recording. [long beep]

Hello, and thank you for calling Mystic Tan.

Our regular busin... business hours

are :-: Monday through Friday

[both laughing]

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Please leave us a message

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breast size, and we'll get back to you as soon as possible.

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