04x10 - Big Bro Theodore/No Putts, No Glory

[bunniefuu]

♪ Watch out, 'cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while,
but we're back with style ♪

♪ So get set to have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
and satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

{\an8}♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

One, two, three...

[Alvin] Let me stop you right there.

I told you before,
I don't want to play hide-and-seek.

It's no fun
when there's two people!

No! Talking Teddy makes three!

-A stuffed bear doesn't count.
-But you promised!

No, I didn't!

Theodore, if you do this for me,

I promise to play
hide-and-seek whenever you want.

You promised when you asked me
to pretend to be in, you know,

"mortal danger,"

so you could impress Vanessa
when you, you know, "saved me"

in gym class.

Simon told me to record you.

So, now that that's settled,
you can count to 60!

Oh, oh, fine. One, two, three...

14, 15, 20...

28, 35, 40...

[phone rings]

Hello?

Mr Seville, this is Miss Clemmons
from Camp Unasackawackaca.

I just have a question
on your application

for this year's summer camp.

Oh, sure. Ask away.

Theodore?

He's the oldest.

[gasps] I'm the oldest?

We don't like to tell him that,
though.

Great. Glad I was able
to clear that up for you.

Theodore, that's the lamest
hiding spot ever.

Uh... yeah...

Uh... you know what?
You were right, Alvin.

Hide-and-seek is for, um...

you know, little kids. OK, bye!

OK. Weird.

Oh, Teddy, I've... I've been
a very bad big brother.

I just heard Dave say
that I was the oldest.

I've got to catch up on
all the lost time and find out

how to get better at this!

Feel you're not living up to the status
of being the oldest?

Yes. That's right.

Have you let your siblings down?

Yeah. I think so.

Have you shirked
responsibilities?

Probably.

Well, that can change today.

Big bro is here to help.

Being a good older brother
takes practice,

seriousness and dedication.

After all, the lives of your younger
brothers and sisters

are in your hands.

-Whatcha doing, Theodore?
-Aaah!

Oh. Uh... you know, nothing.

Oh. 'Cause you were
looking at something.

Oh. Oh, that? Well, you know,

I was looking at something earlier,

but... but I'm not
looking at something now.

OK...

Ahem! What...
what are you doing, Simon?

-Just some calculus homework.
-Oh! Let me help you with that.

-That's OK, thanks.
-No, don't worry.

I'm here to help.
It's my job. It's what I do.

I'm pretty sure
you haven't covered

this kind of math yet in school.

OK, so, let's get started.

Uh... Um, why don't you tell me
what this little Easter egg

with a line on it means.

Oh, that's a cosine.

Very good, Simon!
That's correct!

OK...

Well, I see that you're doing very well
in trigo-calcuminimus.

So... so, keep up the good work.
I'm very proud of you.

All right, then.

-Aaah!
-You need to relax now, Alvin,

and get ready for sleepy time.

I'm going to read you a story.

What? No!

"Bertie Mouse crept silently
into the big kitchen and looked around."

Stop!

Alvin, it's natural
not to want to go to bed.

All kids would prefer to stay up late,
but they need their sleep.

"Now, Bertie Mouse knew
there was cheese on the counter,

but he wasn't looking
for cheese.

he was looking for something
much, much better."

[yawning]

"Cake. So he... he..."

[snoring]

What is it with Theodore?

I don't know, Alvin.

He's certainly is acting
overly mature all of a sudden.

Wait. Wait. Wait a minute.

Earlier, he was on his computer
and acted really weird

when I asked what he was doing.

If you want to be
a big brother, call now!

Theodore wants to be
a big brother?

Of course, Dave's having a baby!
He's gonna be a new father!

Really?
That's where you went with this?

-Then you explain it!
-Well, you know,

this might be some kind of
important growing stage

for Theodore.

Maybe we should play along
for a while.

It could be good for him
to gain a little maturity.

All right. OK. Well, look,
if it'll help Theodore,

I'll give it a try.

But it's not gonna be easy
for me to act immature.

[armpit fart]

No,
I can see that's a real stretch.

[Chipmunk song playing]

Simon! Simon!
I can't take this any...

Watch out!

[sigh of relief]

Here. We have to tell Theodore
the truth!

Alvin,
we agreed to give him some...

[sniffs] Ugh! You smell awful!

Yeah, well I spent the afternoon
in a garbage can.

And that's what happens
when my big brother, Theodore,

tries to protect me.

I'm sorry, OK? I'm sorry,
but I can't pretend any more!

OK.
Just take a deep breath, all right?

Now, we can't tell Theodore
the truth, OK?

Everything he's learned
would be completely ruined.

You know, his maturity,
his self-esteem,

would be totally shattered!

-Uh, Alvin?
-Sorry. You lost me at "the".

OK, look,
we have to make Theodore

want to be
our little brother again.

-Wait. I have an idea.
-OK, I was afraid of that.

Oh, I've got this, Simon.
Not to worry.

-Um, Alvin?
-Simon, please don't worry, OK?

-I'll be careful.
-No. Just, please,

take a shower first.

Theodore! Theodore! Help!

Ah! Oh, uh... sure, little guy.

What can I help you with?

I was down in the basement

when I saw a pair of ghost eyes
staring! Staring straight at me!

They were floating in the dark corner,

where sometimes
those creaky sounds

that we never know what they are
come from?

Big, bloodshot eyes!
You gotta come down!

Did... did you say ghost eyes?

Ahem! Well, there are
no such things as ghosts.

You know that, Alvin.
And I... I... I know that too.

Oh, I'm so glad you said that!

'Cause you gotta go down
to the basement and get my sweatshirt.

What?
Uh, well, of course I would.

I'd do anything for you, Alvin.

But, uh... well,

I think we should...
we should ask Dave.

You know,
for... for safety reasons!

But Dave's not here right now,

and I need that sweatshirt
for soccer practice!

I could get a cold,
you know, like you said!

Please go get it for me!
I'm too scared to go down there,

and you're... you're so mature!

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. OK.
Sure. Sure, little brother.

-What's wrong?
-Oh... nothing.

Um... Hey! Hey, Alvin.

Are you sure you don't have
another sweatshirt somewhere?

Or we could buy a new one!

-Uh, no.
-OK.

Hey,
did I just hear Dave drive up?

'Cause he... he can help.

No, Theodore.
It's just you and me and the ghost!

Wait a sec.
Aren't you coming with me?

Oh, no! No way!
You have to protect me!

I wouldn't face those ghost eyes
for all the money in the world!

[screams] Aaah!

Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on, Theodore?

Alvin?

I know it looks bad,
but I can explain.

[Theodore] So, when I heard you say

"Theodore is the oldest,"

I... I knew I had to act
like a big brother.

But I... I just don't think
I'm big-brother material.

I'm sorry, guys.

You...
you deserve better than me.

Theodore, when did you hear me say
you were the oldest?

When you were on the phone.

Oh, sure. Ask away.

Who is the youngest?

-Theodore.
-And Simon?

-He's the oldest.
-Uh-huh.

So, Alvin is the middle child?

We don't like
to tell him that, though.

Theodore,
you must have misunderstood.

I was only confirming with the camp
that you were the youngest.

Really? I'm the youngest?

You always have been
and you always will be.

Ha, ha! This is great news!

Oh, I can eat this candy bar,

'cause I don't have to be
a good example any more!

Ugh! Theodore!
That was my candy bar!

Nuh-uh! As my big brother,
you have to let me have it!

-[Alvin] I do not!
-Uh-huh!

-[Alvin] Give me that!
-No!

Oh! It's... it's magic!

Oh, no, no, Theodore.
But it's actually better than magic.

I did this by taking
the magnetic...

Ugh! I am so bored!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

I think that was Dave!

This can't be happening!

Dave, what is it?

Oh! Dave, if Miss Smith
wrote that letter,

I think she made it sound worse
than it actually was.

It was just
a very innocent mistake.

No, it's not... Wait. What?

No. Nothing. Nothing.

It's so amazing!
I can't believe it!

-Oh, after all these years!
-What?

[Brittany] What's going on?

Is everyone OK?

I've been nominated
for a Grammy!

Wow!

Dave, isn't that a really,
really big music award?

The biggest!
It's a dream of a lifetime!

And it just goes to show you
it's never too late!

Just when you think
you've been forgotten,

something like this
comes along and...

I've gotta call my friends!

Guys,
is Grammy spelled with an "N"?

Theodore, come on.
That would be Nammy!

What? Let me see that!

-Oh, no!
-What?

Oh... Not good.

-What... what is it?
-Oh, poor Dave.

He... he read it too fast.

A Granny Award? Does anybody know
what a Granny Award is?

[Simon] OK, let's see.
Oh, here we go.

Granny Awards.

Oh. Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no!

Oh, boy! It says, "The Granny
is an award for ageing rockers."

-What? Dave's not old!
-Uh, yeah, he is. He's ancient.

"The Granny is given
to outstanding musicians

close to retirement,

who have been nearly forgotten
by the industry and the public."

Oh, that's terrible!

"The ceremony is held
the same night as the Grammy Awards."

Well, that's not so bad, right?
It says he's "outstanding"!

And... and "nearly forgotten".

Dave is gonna be crushed.

Yeah, he's been nominated
for an award that says,

"You're old, grey, wrinkled
and nearly forgotten."

So, who's gonna tell him?

All right, I'm thinking
of a number between one and six.

-Oh! Oh! Three!
-That was amazing, Theodore!

You guessed it!
You get to tell him!

Oh. I... I do?

Ahem! Alvin!

Oh, all right!

Ugh! Tough luck!
You got the shortest straw, Theodore.

Wait. Wait a second.
Show me yours.

-Alvin!
-All right. OK. Again.

Eeny, meeny, miny, mo..

Guys! Stop moving!

-But... but I don't want to be last.
-Me neither.

OK, let's face it.
We can't tell him!

You're right.
We don't tell him.

That way, Dave could happily spend
the rest of his life

convinced he was nominated
for a Grammy!

You know, 'cause you only get
a trophy if you actually win.

Yeah, but when he goes
to the ceremony,

they won't let him in the door.

He'll be laughed off
the red carpet!

OK, OK. So, we make sure
he doesn't go...

And, at the last minute,
we hack his TV

so he can't watch and see
that he wasn't even nominated!

Yeah, but, uh...
we have to find a way

to keep him from going
to that ceremony.

Well, that can't be too hard.

Hey, guys,

who wants to help me pick out
a tuxedo for the Grammys?

Dave! Dave! Great news!

You don't even have to go
the Grammy ceremony!

What do you mean?

These days,
all the hippest celebrities

are sending in
their acceptance speeches by video!

Yeah, so they stay at home

and they get to watch
from their living room,

with their family, eating...
eating food that's really good!

Why would they do that?

Isn't it obvious?

They don't want to be
embarrassed

in front of the entire world
if they lose!

Oh, yes! Yes, Alvin!
That's right!

You know, plus, uh... plus,

-you know... um, plus...
-Plus, I hear if you're there,

people try to take your Grammy
and...

and everybody fights...

and... and...
that's what I heard.

Are you kidding?
I wouldn't miss this for the world!

Plan B.

Hi!
We were just wondering...

Can... can you please add our dad

to the list of nominees
for the Grammys? Please!

He... he's a song-writing genius!

Obviously,
he doesn't have to win.

-Good morning, Theodore.
-Oh! Dave!

What's wrong with your teeth?

Oh! Teeth-whitening strips.

Gotta have pearly whites
on the big day!

Oh, yeah, that's right.

District Court. How may I help?

[voice distorter]
Hello! This is David Seville.

I'd like to sign up for one day
of jury duty on the...

-June 16th, please.
-Let me... Let me stop you.

You can't sign up for jury duty.

I need you
to make an exception.

-Jury duty! June 16th! Please!
-[hangs up]

All right.
Well... let's move on to plan Q.

[Chipmunk song playing]

Dave! Dave, um...
you're not taking your car?

No. I'm gonna treat myself, Alvin.
I'm taking a limo.

Oh, wait.
I'd better not forget my speech.

But the base is loaded
and here comes the pitch!

-Theodore!
-What? We have to watch!

The Grammy Award for Song
of the Year goes to...

David Savage!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

He... he said Savage,
not Seville! Oh, Dave!

Wow! I can't believe
this is actually mine!

Uh... that's because it's not!
I'm David Savage!

I don't know who you are,
old man, but I'm David Savage!

-Now, gimme that!
-But they said David Seville!

They did not!
Now get outta here!

Fine! But I'm taking
my Grammy with me!

[Dave screams] No! No!

Theodore, wake up!
While you were napping,

we decided
we're gonna tell Dave the truth.

What? No! No!
He can't handle the truth!

[Dave] Hey, guys, I gotta go.
I'm running late. Wish me luck!

[both] No!

We gotta stop him!

Theodore, come on!

No! Not until it's green.

OK, Theodore, you're on the sidewalk!
You can turn right!

Oh... OK!

I... I just want to thank ev...

Oh! I see the limo!

-[Alvin] Excuse me!
-[Brittany] Sorry!

[Alvin] Please, watch out!

I just want to thank you...

I just want to say thank you
to so many... people.

-[Alvin] Excuse me!
-[Brittany] Sorry!

-We're too late!
-No! We've gotta stop him!

[yelling] No!

Alvin?

No, wait! Put me down!

Alvin, what's going on?

Oh. Well, um... I can explain.

-We all can, Dave.
-You, um...

Well, you see, you weren't
invited to the Grammys.

We didn't know how to tell you.

Yeah, so, uh... it turns out,

well, you were nominated,
but, um... for a Granny.

It... it's an award for old,
wrinkly mobsters.

Rockers, Theodore.
Rockers. Not mobsters.

-Guys, I know.
-What?

Yeah, I reread the invitation.

I didn't want to tell you,
'cause you were so happy for me.

If you knew
you weren't nominated for a Grammy,

-why are you here?
-This is the Grannys.

And I couldn't be happier.

Do you know
who just walked in before me?

Dereck Clayton!

Oh! Yeah, he's... um...

he's... um...
Who's Dereck Clayton?

Are you kidding?

Only one of the greatest
guitar players ever!

Oh! That Dereck Clayton.
Of course. Of course.

Wait! Oh, my gosh!
Is that... Nick Dragger?

Aah! He winked at me!
Aah! He winked at me!

Oh, my gosh!
Did you see that? Did you?

Guys! Guys! Pammi Smith!

[photographer] Pammi! Over here!

Yeah. Wish me luck.

Guys, this is fantastic.
Dave's really good.

Should... should we go home
and watch it on TV?

Yeah!

-Hey, Alvin. Aren't you coming?
-Are you kidding?

This place
is filled with legends!

Oh, I am going in!

Hey! How are you doing?
My dad's waiting for me inside...

-Where's your invitation?
-Oh! Where is that?

-My dad must have it!
-Why'd he leave you outside?

Oh, I guess all the excitement
of being nominated. You know...

So, he forgets about his son?

No. Didn't forget, but because
I'm little, he can't really see me

with these taller people around.

Know about
"Out of sight, out of mind"?

Not when it comes to your kids!

OK. Well, between you and me,
he's not the best dad.

-Sorry, kid.
-Please! Oh, look, there he is!

-Daddy!
-I don't have time for this.

I don't have time for this!
The show's about to start!

Let's go, Alvin!

-Sorry, sir. Good day to you.
-No! He was gonna let me in!

-No, he wasn't.
-He was about to let me in!

[Britanny] Shut it. Just shut it.

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪